ASK A LUCHADOR I
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We cut to the Long Island, New York home of La Flama Blanca. La Flama Blanca sits in his home theater room on a brand new leather couch. He is wearing the new "La Flama Blanca: You're Fucking Out1" t-shirt. Peach the dog is laying by his feet chewing on one of Blanca's old socks.
La Flama Blanca: Hola Chicanos! Gringos too! La Flama Blanca here with my first and possibly last installment of "Ask a Luchadore". We have some questions from you, the fans, it doesn't have to be about wrestling. La Flama Blanca is a well cultured man. We'll laugh, we'll cry
La Flama Blanca: Peach, Uncle Blanca is trying to talk. Chew some socks or something. Fucking Madman, leaving me with his bitch dog. He wasn't wrong about her sitting on your head. But enough about this bitch. Let's start the show! Voice Over guy, first question por favor.
Voice Over Guy: Allen from Traverse City, Michigan wants to know, "What's your favorite ice cream flavor?"
La Flama Blanca: Mint Chocolate Chip or Cherry Garcia, next.
Voice Over Guy: Lisa in Harrington, Delaware wants to know, "How did you get so awesome?"
La Flama Blanca: I was born awesome, next.
Voice Over Guy: Tron from New Bern, North Carolina wants to know, "Who's the one wrestler on the UTA roster you'd like to face most?"
La Flama Blanca: Who ever the champs will be after Black Horizon, next.
Voice Over Guy: Steve from Suffolk, Virginia wants to know, "The muffler on my 94' Bronco is making a hiss noise, any idea what can be causing it?"
La Flama Blanca: That seems like that's more a question for Elvis McDonald, next.
Voice Over Guy: Trevor from Margaretville, New York wants to know, "Why you wear a mask, are you scarred underneath or are you in the witness protection program?"
La Flama Blanca: No, not at all. If I didn't wear this mask all the women would leave their husbands and lesbians would turn straight, men would kill themselves because there would be no point in living.
La Flama Blanca: Shut up Peach! Dios maldita sea! Since I was rudely interrupted I'll take this moment to do some cheap plugs. Check out the WrestleUTA store, buy some of my shit or Madman's shit, there's something for everyone from most of the UTA roster. Buy the new UTA Music CD 2.0.
La Flama Blanca: Good point Peach. Today's "Did You Know?" fact of the day. Did you know that a banana isn't technically a fruit? It's actually a herb. No, I did not know that. Stellar, next question.
Voice Over Guy: Mike from Casper, Wyoming wants to know, "Who can drink more beer, you or Log Habben?"
La Flama Blanca: There's internet in Wyoming? Learn something new everyday. Who drinks more beer? Come on Mike, I'm Mexican.
La Flama Blanca: I'm going to just ignore it. Let's continue, next.
Voice Over Guy: Jack from Amarillo, Texas wants to know, "If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?"
La Flama Blanca: I don't know, seven? next.
Voice Over Guy: Will from East Islip, New York wants to know, "Cats or Dogs?"
La Flama Blanca: Neither, next.
Voice Over Guy: Jeremey from Cincinnati, Ohio wants to know, "What are your picks for Black Horizon?"
La Flama Blanca: Hmm… I'll go with Kung Fu Mechanic over Benson. Me of course. Even though I don't want to I'll take Burke over Ahad. This isn't easy for me either but I'll take Ranier to win the title, easier for me to win the title than beating a big 500 pound monster. World Title match? Whoever. I'll be watching but I can't decide.
La Flama Blanca: I have a question, when the hell is your daddy going to come pick your little runt ass up Peach? God damn Madman. Well I hope you liked the show. If there's a next time I hope this mutt won't be around.
Peach hops up on La Flama Blanca's lap and starts licking his mouth.
La Flama Blanca: Oh, I can't be mad. Adios muchacos!