Wolf: Scheduled next is a match between a man who has had some success here in Death Row Wrestling in Seth Stratton, and a creature, a beast, a thing, we have often given the title of The Monster in Tarrasque.
Ace: Well this is a match to look out for. Seth Stratton made it in the tennis business for a reason.
Wolf: Yeah: rampant cheating.
Ace: As I was saying. . . Seth Stratton has made it in the tennis business for a reason, he is good at what he does, and here in The Row has been no different.
Wolf: But Seth Stratton has never faced a man such as this. . . especially not in the tennis world.
Ace: No matter. Seth probably spiked Tarrasque’s raw beef. Just you wait and see, before this match is over Tarrasque is gonna have a horrible case of the shits.
Wolf: Well if his record says anything, Seth Stratton knows what he is doing. So far he has yet to be defeated.
A Van Halen tune starts to pick up through the arena. . .
I've got Elvis, on my Elbow
And when I flex, Elvis talks
Wolf: Rumor around The Row is that those in Seth Stratton’s life would have been better off without him.
Ace: Does that mean we should get out while we still can?
Wolf: Yes Ace… Be afraid… very afraid…
The curtains part, and Seth Stratton makes his triumphant entrance. Tens of women swoon. I mean whole tens of women, and a few of em aren’t even missing teeth.
I've got a hula girl, on the back of my leg
And she hulas, when I walk
He makes his way down the center of the aisle. The direct center. Not because he has OCD, but because he doesn't want any of the fans to touch him. Which may indicate OCD. It's a paradox, he knows.
Wolf: Here he comes ladies and gentlemen, but don’t dare try to touch him. He doesn’t look like he likes to be touched unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Ace: You may like to be groped by the fans, but I sure don’t. I don’t blame Seth Stratton. Not one bit.
Seth Stratton illustrates a devastating backhand from his old tennis career, not a winning backhand of course (hence all the cheating) but a backhand none the less before gingerly climbing into the ring and stepping through the ropes.
Wolf: Seth Stratton looking determined here tonight. . . Does he have something up his sleeve?
Ace: Nope. Not a chance. Seth Stratton is an athlete, and an athlete sticks to his talents and nothing else. You saying he’s juicing Wolf? Seth Stratton never juiced, not in tennis, never. He’s still fighting the courts on that one.
Wolf: Sometimes you make the most illogical leaps, you know that?
Ace: No I don’t want burritos.
Tarrasque’s theme bursts through Madison Square Garden, receiving a mild pop from the fans.
Wolf: Well Tarrasque has become quite popular here in The Row, listen to that Ace!
Ace: Tarrasque may be, but the fans still hate Allen Anderson!
Tarrasque appears from behind the curtain, letting out a massive roar. His chin is red from some recent mixture of red dye and beef, his teeth glisten a slight pink.
Wolf: Last we saw of Tarrasque, he tried his hand at tennis, in an attempt to better understand his opponent, Seth Stratton, who of course has quite the storied career in that area.
Ace: What a dreadful tennis player. Tarrasque was bred to be a super soldier, not to serve up tennis balls. I’m surprised he didn’t try to eat any of them.
Wolf: Hey may love meat, but he’s no dog Ace.
Ace: You sure? Allen Anderson practically has a leash on the guy!
Almost as if on cue, Allen Anderson appears behind Tarrasque dressed in a grey suit and black dress shoes. He hobbles on his cane, the golden globe that serves as a handle caught up in Allen Anderson’s palm.
Wolf: “The Brain” Allen Anderson looking sharp as always tonight.
Ace: Of course--he’s backed by a big corporation. If I was backed by that I’d have a whole fleet of cars and a mansion in the South Hamptons.
Wolf: If you were backed by a big corporation, they’d probably be crooked.
Ace: Aren’t they all?
Tarrasque climbs up into the ring, as Allen Anderson hobbles his way to the apron, ignoring the fans in N.Y.C. that seem quite adamant in pissing him off.
Wolf: Massive height and weight difference as always. Look at Seth Stratton! There’s no way he’s as tall as he claims.
Ace: You calling him a liar?
Wolf: Given his history… yes.
We cut to our dreadful announcer, incapable of not fucking anything up.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is for one fall, and has a thirty minute time limit. Seth Stratton has asked that I read the following. . .
The announcer looks down, shuffling with his cards before finding the right one, and begins to read whatever is on it:
Announcer: Hey shit head, read this when I come up. . . Introducing first, the greatest man to ever play the game of tennis, or any game for that matter now stands before you in the ring. Not only does he tower over many of you peons at six feet, two inches, but he also weighs a svelte two hundred and thirty pounds. He is The Sultan of Sweet, Sethhh Strrratttooonn!
Seth Stratton raises his arms as the crowd lets out a chorus of boos. Looking at Tarrasque his face contorts and then Seth reaches up to pinch his nose, as if the odor coming from Tarrasque is too much for him to handle.
Ace: Nothing like the smell of rotten animal flesh to get you going, eh Wolf?
Wolf: Is that what that smell is?
Ace: Either that or your colostomy bag is loose again.
Wolf: You burying son of a bitch, I don’t wear a colostomy bag!
We cut to the announcer, who turns to look at Tarrasque and seems quite frightened. He raises his card, and you can actually see has hand shaking, the card going this way and that.
Announcer: And his oppo*squeak*
The announcer clears his throat and continues, his voice getting artificially deeper.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Akira, China, weighing in at two hundred and eighty-five pounds, he is The Beast, Tarrrrrassssquuueee!
Tarrasque lets out a massive roar as erratic cheers come up from the crowd. The bell rings and the crowd quiets down.
Wolf: Well here we go, we’re off. The Ex-Tennis Star and The Monster.
Ace: It’s a match of Brains vs. Brawn, and you’d be wrong if you think brawn often wins. After all Tarrasque is all brawn, but he still needs “The Brain” Allen Anderson, doesn’t he?
Wolf: That’s a good point Ace, Seth is gonna have to outsmart his opponent if he hopes to pick up the victory.
Ace: If he hopes to survive. . .
Tarrasque lets out another roar and he takes several steps forward to get to Seth Stratton, but for every step Tarrasque takes forward, Seth takes a step backward, keeping his distance. Tarrasque eventually traps Seth Stratton in the corner and goes for the lock up but quickly Seth rolls out of the way.
Wolf: Seth Stratton doing his best to keep away from the monster Tarrasque so far.
Ace: The Sultan of Sweet is just looking for an opening, that’s all Wolf. Wrestling is a lot like tennis, you know anything about tennis?
Ace: Well it’s a game of skill and finesse.
Ace: Well I actually don’t know shit about tennis… I was hoping maybe you did…
Turning around Tarrasque see’s Seth Stratton and roaring, continues to go after him. Seth jukes left, jukes right, jukes left again, and slips past Tarrasque as he tries to go for the lock up.
Wolf: Another attempted lock up by Tarrasque, another evasion by Seth Stratton.
Ace: The Sultan of Sweet is doing just about the only thing you can do with Tarrasque: keep away.
Seth slips past Tarrasque and Tarrasque turns around in pursuit, becoming visibly frustrated. He descends open Seth again, this time stretching his arms out in an effort to swipe at Seth if he attempts to get away. Seth backs away, and soon finds himself cornered again but with nowhere to go.
Wolf: Seth much like a cornered rat now, and Tarrasque is on him!
Tarrasque charges Seth, using the weight of his own body to smash him up against the turnbuckle. Seth Stratton crumbles, falling over onto Tarrasque who simply grabs him and tosses him to the other side of the ring.
Wolf: Tarrasque just tossed Seth like a rag doll, like child’s play thing.
Ace: He’s strong, we all know that. Just look at the bastard.
Seth Stratton quickly gets to his feet, more to get away from Tarrasque than anything else. He backs away, his hands out as he says something inaudible to Tarrasque. Tarrasque turns his head to one side, much like a dog when it is confused or curious. Tarrasque then lets out a roar and charges Seth, going for the clothesline.
Wolf: Attempted clothesline by Tarrasque—Seth ducks.
Ace: I’m still wondering what he said to him. You see that look Tarrasque gave him?
After evading Tarrasque, Seth quickly charges him and jumps on his back. Tarrasque flails his arms, turning toward the center of the ring before reaching up and grabbing Seth’s head, bringing him forward and slamming him to the mat. The crowd pops as Tarrasque lets out another roar of satisfaction. Allen Anderson can be seen on the outside, nodding his head in approval.
Wolf: Seth Stratton having trouble overcoming the power of Tarrasque so far, and Allen Anderson seems to approve.
Ace: You know, I don’t know who is worse, Tarrasque, or the man that orchestrates the many evil deeds he has committed.
Wolf: I think Tarrasque only has a vague sense of right and wrong, it is Allen Anderson and that evil Warhammer Corporation that is to blame. You don’t create a monster like Tarrasque, unless you’ve got something wicked in mind.
Tarrasque then descends upon the fallen Seth, placing one foot on his chest and then stepping up onto him with all his weight. Seth kicks his feet as Tarrasque’s weight comes down on his chest, and he quickly rolls over selling after Tarrasque steps off of him.
Wolf: All that weight down on Seth Stratton’s chest!
Tarrasque then goes over to Seth Stratton and brings him to his feet, grabbing him by the hair. Seth sells the hair pull and Tarrasque grabs one of his arms and Irish whips him into the ropes. As Seth returns off the ropes Seth slides through the legs of Tarrasque and then turns and kicks him square in the nuts. The crowd pops, and the referee gets in Seth’s face for the intentional low blow.
Wolf: Well Seth going for the great equalizer. I’m sure even Tarrasque is susceptible to ball crushing.
Ace: Looks like your wrong Wolf, looks like he’s only pissed off Tarrasque more!
Tarrasque turns around, wincing slightly from the low blow, and as he looks upon a bewildered Seth Stratton he lets out a massive row.
Ace: We should call him “Iron Balls” Tarrasque!
Wolf: That’s for sure!
Seth raises his arms as if to plead with Tarrasque, but the monster ignores him and reaches back before bringing his hand forward and placing it violently around Seth’s neck. Seth’s eyes widen as Tarrasque lifts him up into the air and slams him down to the mat with a chokeslam.
Wolf: Massive choke slam from Tarrasque! Seth got folded up like an accordion with that one!
Ace: Lifting a man like Seth Stratton is no big deal to a monster like Tarrasque, he hauls whole sides of beef into his room daily whenever he wishes to feed. This guy squeezes out shits bigger than Seth Stratton!
Allen Anderson can be seen barking directions on the outside, and Tarrasque hears them and complies; he drops to his knees and goes for the cover. Seen this the ref hits the mat and goes for the count.
Wolf: We’ve got a pin! 1. . . 2. . . no! Kick out from Seth Stratton. Seth kicks out after the chokeslam!
Ace: With the exception of the low blow, which seems to have done very little damage, it’s been all Tarrasque so far. Seth Stratton is gonna have to figure something out if he hopes to make it out of this one still undefeated.
Tarrasque gets up after the pin, bringing Seth Stratton to his feet with him. Suddenly Seth rises and rains down a barrage of punches to the face of Tarrasque. He hits him with lefts and rights, each punch rocking Tarrasque, but only slightly. Seth goes for another punch, but Tarrasque quickly reaches up and headbutts Seth, knocking him to the mat and ending the assault.
Wolf: Massive headbutt from Tarrasque.
Ace: Coming from anyone else, I would say that a headbutt hurts both men involved, but from the looks of Tarrasque, he’s as hard headed as he comes. Besides, there are serious questions whether there’s even a brain in that noggin of his.
Wolf: Of course there is! It’s probably just biologically and chemically on level with that of a four year old.
Ace: Imagine that! A four year old toddler with the strength of ten men!
Tarrasque shakes his head, as to get the cobwebs out and then snarls, turning to Seth. He brings Seth to feet and then looks out at the crowd, letting out yet another roar. Tarrasque then takes Seth and slams him to the mat with a pumphandle slam. The crowd pops and Allen Anderson once more starts to bark orders at Tarrasque.
Wolf: Allen Anderson directing Tarrasque from outside of the ring, but the real question is will he obey him?
Ace: Perhaps Tarrasque is really just like a four year old toddler, complete with behavioral issues and everything. Allen Anderson should take this guy to a child psychiatrist! Hot Water bad! Hot Water Burn Baby!
Tarrasque looks to Anderson and then picks up Seth Stratton, picking him up off the mat with ease. Tarrasque then picks Seth up over his head and trots over toward the corner, to drop Seth face first on the turnbuckle, but Seth slides out of the hold and lands feet first behind Tarrasque.
Wolf: Seth Stratton, The Sultan of Sweet, using his speed and agility to get out of that one.
Ace: I don’t know if that was exactly what Allen Anderson was going for.
Seth spins and hits Tarrasque in the gut with a spinning back fist. Tarrasque takes the blow but hardly sells it.
Wolf: We’ve seen this before from Seth Stratton!
Ace: A little something hung over from his career as a tennis champ! SERVICE!
Seeing this, Seth spins the other direction and hits Tarrasque in the gut with a spinning fist. Again the blow hardly seems to affect Tarrasque.
Ace: And another! Now that’s a forehand smash Tarrasque! Your tennis skills are not as great as your meat eating skills!
Tarrasque then reaches up and again head butts Seth Stratton knocking him to the mat. On the outside, Allen Anderson claps in approval, and can be seen barking orders at Tarrasque.
Wolf: Yet another head butt from Tarrasque and Seth Stratton his down once again. It seems every time he gets going, Tarrasque pulls out something to halt all momentum.
Ace: Look how pleased Allen Anderson is after that one! He’s got a grin on his face from ear to ear!
Tarrasque ignores Allen Anderson’s orders, instead stomping on Seth, once, twice, three times before bringing him to his feet. Dazed, Seth staggers on as his feet, and Tarrasque lets out yet another roar in his direction. Tarrasque then kicks him the gut and places Seth’s head between his legs. Grabbing Seth’s waist, Tarrasque lifts Seth up over his head for the powerbomb, but Seth slides out of it at the peak of the powerbomb, hooking Tarrasque’s head and bringing him down to the mat.
Wolf: Seth Stratton reverses it! He reverses it! Tarrasque was going for the powerbomb but he pulled it down into a huge DDT!
Ace: Listen to these fans in N.Y.C! They may not be Seth’s biggest fans, but they sure love to see a good DDT! And that was one of the best we’ve seen in a long while.
The crowd pops at the impressive DDT, and quickly Seth crawls over for a pin.
Wolf: Pin! Pin! 1. . . 2—kick out by Tarrasque! And look at Seth! He went flying with that kick out.
Ace: Tarrasque just sent him half way across the ring with that one. I don’t know what Tarrasque ate before the match, but whatever it is it seems to be helping him at the moment.
Wolf: Wheaties perhaps?
Ace: Yeah—with beef jerky bits!
Seth Stratton gets to his feet as Tarrasque does as well. Seth Stratton spots him up, jump and lands a dropkick on Tarrasque right to the chest. Tarrasque rocks back on his heels, windmilling his arms to keep his balance and does. Seth gets up after the drop kick, sizes Tarrasque up again and goes for another drop kick.
Wolf: The first drop kick didn’t knock Tarrasque to the mat, and the second one didn’t either!
Ace: This guy has so much mass it’s hard to knock him to the mat. Tarrasque is still standing!
The drop kick knocks Tarrasque back a few steps, and by now he’s up against the ropes. Getting up Seth Stratton spots him and gets up and charges him, clothesline him out of the ring over the top rope.
Wolf: And there goes Tarrasque! Seth Stratton has finally knocked the beast on his feet!
Ace: Impressive clothesline from Seth Stratton! Did you feel the ground rumble when Tarrasque hit the mat?
The crowd pops at the bump, Tarrasque lying down outside of the ring breathing heavy. Allen Anderson can be seen coming over to him, yelling at him to get up and poking him with his cane. Meanwhile Seth Stratton illustrates one of his tennis backhands and raises his arms. The crowd lets out a boo, which Seth seems to ignore.
Wolf: It appears Anderson is trying to get Tarrasque up! He’s very angry with him, poking him with his cane!
Ace: He better be careful Wolf, or he just may turn on Allen Anderson! Then we’ll have a real show on our hands. Ever seen a man torn in half before?
Wolf: No. . . never. And I don’t intend to!
Seth makes his way over to the top rope as Tarrasque gets up outside. Seth grabs the top rope and hurls himself over for a body splash, but Tarrasque catches him. Tarrasque holds Seth across his body and lets out a roar of strength. Allen Anderson can be seen barking orders and poking Tarrasque with the end of his cane.
Wolf: Seth went for the body splash, but the strength of Tarrasque allowed him to catch him. And look at Allen Anderson?! What is he doing?!
Ace: A little motivation for Tarrasque, using the oldest means of persuasion: pain.
Allen Anderson continues to poke Tarrasque and suddenly Tarrasque drops Seth and turns to Allen Anderson, anger burning in his eyes. He starts to walk towards Allen Anderson, who extends his cane to threaten Tarrasque as much as he does to keep his distance.
Wolf: Tarrasque it seems is turning on his own master! It appears he took one poke too many.
Ace: Yeah, and that’s how I was born. Daddy gave mommy one poke too many. I’ll never forgive that bastard!
Wolf: Daddy issues aside, we’ve got a situation here! Can Allen control his beast?
Allen Anderson shouts at Tarrasque, who draws closer, his mouth practically foaming as he breathes out his hate. His chest heaves up and down with each breath, and Tarrasque extends a finger at Allen Anderson, but from behind Seth Stratton tackles his knee. Tarrasque sells the knee hit and stumbles backward.
Wolf: Seth Stratton going for Tarrasque’s knee! But the man still isn’t down!
Ace: Well if kicking him in the balls doesn’t do anything, I don’t see what this will do.
Tarrasque continues to stumble back, grabbing his knee as Seth Stratton gets back up from the tackle and then measures a kick and kicks Tarrasque in the back of his knee. Again Tarrasque stumbles from the blow, and Seth Stratton lifts his leg, knocking him on his back.
Wolf: The beast has fallen!
Seth then reaches down on a fallen Tarrasque and grabs his leg, lifting his knee into the air before bringing it down to the ground outside of the ring. Tarrasque grabs his knees, roaring in anger as he sells his injured knee.
Wolf: Tarrasque it appears is in some trouble here. He’s gonna have some trouble putting all the weight down on that hurt knee.
Ace: Given his weight and body structure, I’m surprised his knees haven’t exploded already.
Seth grabs Tarrasque and tosses him into the ring, and follows up after him, putting one knee up on the apron and then climbing through the top and middle ring ropes. As Seth gets into the ring he stomps a fallen Tarrasque and then bring him to his feet and then promptly sending him to the mat with a neck breaker.
Wolf: Neck breaker by Seth Stratton! Tarrasque is down!
Seth covers Tarrasque and goes for the pin.
Wolf: We’ve got a pin! 1. . . 2. . . kick out!
Ace: Tarrasque is hurt but he’s not out of this one yet!
Frustrated Seth then reaches down and grabs Tarrasque’s leg and turning him over on his back he wrenches back on his leg with a single Boston Leg crab.
Wolf: Seth Stratton with the single leg crab!
Seth pulls back on Tarrasque’s leg, applying pressure. The referee gets down in Tarrasque’s face, asking him if he would like to quit, and Tarrasque answers simply by roaring. Seth continues to wrench on Tarrasque’s knee as Tarrasque tries to reach for the ropes.
Wolf: Seth Stratton putting pressure on Tarrasque’s already injured leg.
Ace: And look at Allen Anderson!
Allen Anderson stands up against the ring, one hand holding on to the bottom rope for support, the other clutching his cane, which he extends into the ring for Tarrasque to grab hold of. Tarrasque grabs it and then pulls himself toward Anderson and the ropes. Seeing it, the ref kicks the cane, breaking the hold and then leans over the ropes to scold Allen Anderson.
Wolf: Well the referee saw it, but Tarrasque is already close enough to the ropes.
Ace: There’s a reason they call him “The Brain,” Wolf, cause boy was that awful smart on his part.
Wolf: The ref didn’t like it one bit.
Ace: Aww that hack can hardly officiate a match, let alone keep it fair!
Seth Stratton releases the hold, and as he does Tarrasque immediately reaches for his knee, selling the injury. Seth brings Tarrasque to his feet, Tarrasque getting up gingerly and favoring his knee. Seth then works Tarrasque into the corner with lefts and rights.
Wolf: Seth has Tarrasque trapped in the corner now, a complete reversal of what we had a few minutes ago.
Ace: He’s tearing into him Wolf!
Tarrasque rocks with the blows, then as Seth throws yet another right, successfully blocks it, and clotheslines Seth out of the corner. With a roar he limps over to the fallen Seth. Tarrasque motions to the crowd.
Wolf: We’ve seen this before! We’ve seen this before! Tarrasque threw Hydreck from the ring into the first row, and I think he’s planning to do it with Seth Stratton.
Ace: Get the hell out of there fans, not unless you want a former tennis star in your lap!
Tarrasque picks up Seth Stratton and then dead lifts him over his head.
Wolf: Look at the strength!
Tarrasque moves toward the ropes but his knee suddenly buckles, giving way. Tarrasque falls to the mat, hitting his back and Seth Stratton falls on top of him. The ref goes down for the pin.
Wolf: We’ve got another pin! 1. . .2. . . no! kick out by Tarrasque! He tried to lift Seth Stratton but his knee gave way!
Seth gets up and grabs Tarrasque’s leg and lifts it, exposing his knee. Seth then stomps it hard, and Tarrasque immediately lets out a roar and grabs his leg. Seth then goes off the ropes and upon return hits Tarrasque with an elbow drop.
Wolf: More offense from Seth Stratton here.
Ace: Well Tarrasque is down, but what can Seth Stratton do? I doubt he can lift Tarrasque.
Seth then pulls Tarrasque by the hair, bringing him to his feet. Seth kicks Tarrasque once in the gut, and then runs past Tarrasque, bouncing off the ropes and as he returns he grabs Tarrasque’s head and slams him to the mat, face first.
Wolf: Impressive bulldog by Seth Stratton!
Ace: The Beast didn’t even see that one coming. The tennis pro is doing work!
Seth gets up and raises his arms, taunting the crowd. The Tarrasque fans boo him heavily, but he ignores them, thinking only of the women in the crowd who no doubt must be wanting to fuck him by now. He looks out on the crowd, searching for the nearest chick, and upon finding her he winks at her, then turns to Tarrasque.
Wolf: It appears Seth is showing a little love to the fans here.
Ace: What he needs to do is focus more on Tarrasque, and less on the women out there. Besides, they probably aren’t even into him.
Tarrasque slowly gets to his feet, and seeing him Seth spins and hits him with a spinning backfist.
Wolf: Backhand from Seth!
Ace: You know what comes next don’t yah?
Seth then bounces off the ropes and upon returning he elbows a bent over Tarrasque in the back of the head. The Beat falls to the mat, and quickly Seth hits the mat and covers him. The ref slides in to make the count.
Wolf: 1. . . 2. . . 3! Seth Stratton has done it! He’s done it!
Ace: Allen Anderson is not going to be happy about this one. No chew toy for Tarrasque tonight!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner. . . Seth Stratttooonnnn!
The bell rings as the ref gets up to raise Seth’s arm.
[There is a lot on The Anti-Hero's mind.]
[He sits there withno title belt, but the role of champion is still on his shoulders. A role that cVc THINKS he's ready for, a role that the Anti-Hero knows he ISN'T ready for.]
[He's had a busy week.]
[Training for his match.]
[A Christmas in July party.]
[A meeting with Eric Dane.]
[A meeting with Lee Best.]
[What to do, what to do, what do do.],
"Ya know I could leave right now, get someone to comission me a new title belt and show up by the weekend on some program or another and bury this place. I could crumble it like an over soaked Oreo in a glass of milk, I could send the stock price into a tailspain. I could end the careers of some Death Row "stars" before they even begin. I could put cVc on the breadline, with the other hobos where he belongs. "
[There certainly is appeal in the idea for some, hell for money. You hold someone's whole world in your hand and you just let it fall apart. It's too much for one man to do though, especially the Champion, he won't play it like that.]
"Eric Dane and Lee Best both pitched me offers. They promised me nice things too. Fancy cars, lovely ladies, better living arrangements, a manager, a cut of the door, merchandise rights. You know all the tricks by now don't ya, cVc, you know the recruting game goes. I'm sure you're phone hasn't really stopped ringing, but mine has.
"I've made my choice. I've decided what program you'll see me on, I've decided when and where I'll destroy you cVc."
"At Cell Block 4, I'll destroy cVc."
[He pauses and can almost hear the fans react.]
"I don't need a fancy contract to scatter your body parts to the four corners of the world. I don't need a TV deal to beat the ever loving piss out of your head. All I need is the bell to sound, us to take our spots in the center of that ring. Then I'll let my blind rage towards you do the rest."
[The Champion stops and laughs to himself.]
"You wanna know what I heard cVc, why we're so down in the dumps? I heard it had a lot to do with your foolishness in the Main Event last week, doing commentary and what not, teaming up with Dark. Investors didn't want to put there money in a place with the two of you runnin' around at the top. Hell I heard people thought you might be champion, keyword: THOUGHT, and sold their shares in the company.
"cVc don't worry, I'll clean up your mess."
Wolf: Well, I don’t want to commentate this next match—nothing against Fracture—it’s Dark and Chance Von Crank I don’t particularly care for—but I’ve got to, it’s my job after all.
Ace: Yeah who do these assholes think they are? It’s not like just anyone can sit behind a table and commentate a match. What amateurs.
Wolf: I hear yeah Ace. I hope Fracture mops the floor with these guys.
Ace: Fracture has quietly been winning match after match here in The Row, they are arguably the best tag team we have got.
Wolf: Not if Cash Money has anything to say about that. They put on a great show tonight.
Escape The Fate – There’s No Sympathy For the Dead begins to play through Madison Square Garden, the crowd beginning to buzz. Schism and Rupture burst through the curtain and sprint down the ramp.
Wolf: Here they are everyone, one of the best tag teams in The Row.
Ace: These guys are high energy and high speed. A lot faster than cVc and Dark in this matchup—they also have been a tag team for quite awhile and know each other well.
Wolf: Dark and cVc on the other hand have just recently teamed up.
Schism jumps into the ring over the bottom rope and rolls to his feet while Rupture slides in and runs the ropes a couple of times. As Rupture jumps onto the middle rope in the center of the ropes Schism climbs the corner and they both pose simultaneously. Schism backflips off of the top rope back into the middle of the ring.
Wolf: I’d like to see Dark or cVc try something like that.
Ace: They wouldn’t even know where to start.
Binge and Purge begins to play through Madison Square Garden, and a great chorus of boos comes raining down from the fans.
Wolf: Well here comes the former Death Row Champion, Dark.
Ace: How many beers in do you think he is?
Wolf: More than is considered professional.
After awhile Dark comes out from behind the curtain, with El Toro in tow. He looks out on the crowd with uncaring eyes and then reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cigarette without taking out the pack. He puts the cigarette to his lips and lights it up, El Toro walking around the stage shouting obscenities at the crowd in Spanish.
Wolf: That little bastard sure has a mouth on him Ace. Just like you.
Ace: I’m taller, better looking, have a better body and a bigger dick. He’s nothing like me.
Wolf: How do you know? Did you guys compare sizes?
Ace: No, I’m just assuming. . . .
Wolf: Sure you are.
Binge and Purge dies down, leaving an opening for the fans to rain down a chorus of boos. Dark continues to smoke his cigarette, standing around as if waiting for nothing really at all… Then…
A huge cocking noise is heard followed by a gun blast that booms out all over Madison Square Garden.
Ace: Yes that’s a gunshot, something these native New Yorkers are no doubt familiar with.
cVc’s voice is heard through the arena, spouting his famous catchphrase. cVc then emerges from behind the curtain, joining Dark and El Toro. The crowd immediately begins to boo, with others starting up a CVC Fucking Sucks chant.
Wolf: Fans as always, voicing their opinion of the Trailer Park Prodigy.
Ace: Jesus Christ, these New Yorkers are tough. I’ve never heard such a variety of profanity!
cVc makes his way down to the ring with Dark and Toro, simulating masturbation and ejaculation on the fans as he walks down the ramp. Dark continues to smoke his cigarette and is the first in the ring. He steps through the ropes and goes to a corner and immediately slumps down in the corner to smoke.
Wolf: Remember kids, smoking kills. You don’t wanna look like this guy when you grow up, do yah?
cVc enters the ring and takes off his Reluctant One shirt and tosses it into the crowd. The t-shirt promptly comes back and the crowd cheers. cVc snatches it out of the air and tosses it back. The crowd boos. The t-shirt is then torn by the fans in the third row. The crowd cheers.
Wolf: The Trailer Park Prodigy just had his shirt ripped by the fans!
Ace: I would love a Reluctant One t-shirt. Why doesn’t he ever toss it to me? Why? Why?!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, from
Rupture and Schism raise their arms to a pop from the crowd, and then turn to one another to discuss who will start the match.
Announcer: And their opponents, introducing first, weighing in at two-hundred and fifty pounds, from Bakersfield, California, he is The Illustrated Man… Daaaarrrkkk!
Dark still slumps in corner, finishing his cigarette, ignoring the announcement and the boos from the crowd.
Announcer: And his partner, from
cVc raises his arms as a chorus of boos rain out. He steps up on one of the ropes and leans over the top rope to yell and point at a fan in the front row. He jaws the fan for a bit and then gets down and thrusts his pelvis at him and tosses his hands as if he were splooging in his face.
Wolf: This guy really is white trash. What’s he doing there anyway?
Ace: Don’t you get it, he’s cumming all over that dudes face.
Wolf: Disgusting… just disgusting.
cVc then turns to Dark and the two start to discuss the match, looking off in the corner where Rupture stands in the ring, his partner Schism already waiting on the outside. Dark seems to not really be listening to cVc, who starts jabbering at him.
Wolf: This guy needs a muzzle. He’s always talking, always talking, always talking!
Ace: Have you seen this guys twitter account? He’s on it all the time!
Dark then steps through the ropes and waits on the apron as cVc turns around to face Fracture. The bell rings.
Wolf: Well we’re off and underway after a bit of jabbering on the part of cVc and Dark.
Ace: This is our first opportunity to see how these two work together. Their opponents tonight however have a long history together. This should be good.
Wolf: Indeed, Ace. Kick their ass Fracture!
cVc circles around the ring with Rupture, still talking, throwing insults in Rupture’s direction. cVc then runs his hands through his magnificent mullet and the two lock up. cVc immediately raises a knee and knocks Rupture in the gut. cVc the raises a right and brings it down on the back of Rupture’s head, knocking him to the mat.
Wolf: Vicious blow from cVc!
Ace: This guy fights trailer park style!
Wolf: And what does that mean really?
Ace: In all actuality, I don’t know. I just thought it sounded good. . . Stop asking so many questions!
cVc then grabs Rupture around the chin and then slaps him across the face. He laughs as the crowd pops at the slap and Rupture sells the slap. cVc then toys with Rupture, poking him with his foot as he circles around him.
Wolf: cVc is toying with Rupture now!
Ace: This isn’t exactly the thing to do. You’ve got to get on your opponent when you can.
Wolf: Especially against a team like Fracture. They know each other well and are quick around the ring.
cVc then brings Rupture to his feet and Irish Whips him into the ropes. Rupture returns and leap frogs over cVc, bouncing off the ropes on the other side of the ring. As he returns he jumps and lifting his leg hits cVc in the face.
Wolf: Jumping leg lariat by Rupture!
cVc falls to the mat, and then standing, Rupture jumps and hits cVc with a moonsault. The crowd pops as cVc scrambles to the corner and tags in Dark. Dark looks around a moment and then reluctantly gets in the ring.
Wolf: Tag by cVc, and it looks like Dark wants nothing to do with Rupture.
Ace: I think he wants to go on another smoking break, Wolf.
Rupture taunts Dark for a moment and then as Dark comes upon him arm drags him quickly to the floor. Dark is up just as quickly and he charges Rupture again and again Rupture arm drags him to the mat. Dark quickly gets up and turns around, staring at Rupture as the crowd pops.
Wolf: Rupture has single handedly surprised both men here!
Ace: I don’t think Dark wants any part of him either!
Dark turns and slaps cVc on the back and then steps through the ropes. Rupture raises his arms and motions for cVc to enter the ring, the crowd buzzing. cVc looks at Dark like WTF and then steps through the ropes into the ring.
Wolf: cVc in now, up against Rupture once again.
cVc and Rupture lock up in the center of the ring. cVc quickly moves to a rear lock. Rupture reveres this and switches to a rear lock himself.
Wolf: The speed of Rupture proving useful here. Chance can’t seem to get a good grip on him.
Ace: As slippery as a greased pig, Wolf.
cVc then raises his leg back, successfully completing a low blow on Rupture. The crowd woooo’s at the low blow and Rupture falls to the mat grabbing his groin. The referee gets up in cVc’s face, pointing a finger at him and warning him for the low blow.
Wolf: Low blow by cVc! Get on him ref! Why not just throw em out now?!
Ace: Yeah yeah! Fuck Dark and cVc! Nobody commentates a show like Me and Wolf… well nobody commentates like me.
cVc ignores the referee and then goes to Rupture and grabbing on to his mask, pulls him to his feet. cVc then reaches into the opening in the mask over Rupture’s eye and pokes his eye.
Wolf: Eye rake there from cVc.
cVc then kicks Rupture in the gut and hooks Rupture’s head under his arm and lifting him in the air slams him back down to the mat with a suplex.
Wolf: cVc in charge here with more offense. cVc with the suplex now.
Ace: The Trailer Park Prodigy, cocked back and fucking loaded!
cVc then goes over to Rupture and goes for the cover.
Wolf: Pin by cVc! 1. . .kick out. Not even close on that one.
cVc gets up and Rupture gets up after him. cVc then grabs Rupture and tosses him into the corner. cVc struts his way over to the corner and puts one foot on the middle rope, then the other, pulling himself up. He then raises his arm and starts punching, the crowd counting as he punches.
One. . . Two. . . Three. . . Four. . . Five. . . Six. . . Seven Eight Nine. . . . . . . Ten!
Wolf: Crowd counting along here with each punch.
Ace: Here to show yah!
Rupture staggers out of the corner and cVc grabs him and Irish whips him into the corner and charges after. As Rupture reaches the corner he runs up the corner and then flips off, landing on his feet behind cVc. Rupture then grabs cVc by the head from behind and slams him to the matt with a reverse DDT.
Wolf: Reverse DDT by Rupture!
Rupture then grabs cVc by the mullet and brings him to his feet. Rupture keeps his hold on cVc’s hair and directs him to the corner where he tags in Schism. Rupture then slams cVc down on his knee with a backbreaker.
Wolf: Schism is in after the tag. What a backbreaker by Rupture.
Ace: What’s Schism doing, he’s climbing the ropes.
Rupture holds cVc bent across his knee, and once Schism reaches the top he jumps off and leg drops cVc across the neck.
Wolf: What a tag team move by Fracture!
Schism quickly gets up and waits for cVc to stagger to his feet. As he does, Schism charges him and cVc turns and sees Schism but is too late: Schism wraps his legs around his head and twirls around, slamming him to the mat.
Wolf: Tilt a Whirl head scissors from Schism! My God I can’t tell who’s more athletic, Schism or Rupture!
Ace: They’re both great, young, wrestlers. There’s no doubt about that. Schism is slightly smaller than Rupture, so I would say he’s just that much faster.
Dark on the outside begins searching his pockets and pulls out a cigarette and proceeds to light it up.
Wolf: Dark taking a smoke break… get that thing out of here!
Ace: Second hand smoke kills! Don’t you know?!
Wolf: I don’t think Dark really cares. He obviously doesn’t care about his own health, what makes you think he would care about the health of others.
Schism goes over to cVc and picks him only to drop him again with a spinning wheel kick. Schism then goes over to Rupture and tags him in. Schism tosses Rupture into the ropes and as he returns he lifts Schism up and drops him down onto cVc.
Wolf: Fracture showing why their one of the best teams here in The Row.
Ace: It’s all about teamwork. Look at Fracture. They’re working together. Look at cVc and Dark. I mean Dark is smoking a fucking cigarette right now! He’s not even reaching in the ring or anything!
Schism goes for the pin but Dark quickly steps through the steps and breaks the hold before the ref can make the count. The ref then gets in Dark’s face and pushes him gently toward the corner of the ring. Dark steps through the ropes and returns to the corner.
Wolf: That’s right ref! Keep it fair, keep it fair!
Ace: Look he’s coughing from all the cigarette smoke!
Schism then picks up cVc and runs to the ropes. He jumps up to the top rope and then turns around and jumps off the ropes and bulldogs cVc to the mat.
Wolf: Spring board bulldog by Schism on cVc!
Schism then climbs the ropes and dives off, spinning whilst simultaneously flipping. He lands on cVc and quickly goes for the cover.
Wolf: We’ve got a pin.
Dark on the outside can be seen having an ‘oh shit’ moment. He tosses his cigarette aside and climbs into the ring but the ref is already making the count.
Wolf: 1. . . 2. . . 3!!! Schism and Rupture have done it! They’ve beaten the two biggest assholes in The Row.
Dark reaches the pin but its too late. He stomps Rupture off of cVc and Rupture rolls out of the ring.
Wolf: Maybe you shouldn’t have been smoking?
Ace: Yeah you dumb bastard! Congratulations on the loss!
cVc gets up grabbing his head and he gets in Dark’s face. The two start jabbering at one another, Dark using his body language to convey that he tried to get into the ring but was too late. cVc shakes his head and climbs out of the ring.
Wolf: Could this be the quickest break up in wrestling history?
Ace: Who knows? They’ve certainly hit a rough patch.
cVc stands on the ramp look back at Dark. He then motions for him to come and Dark exits the ring. Reluctantly cVc walks up the ramp with Dark and El Toro.
Wolf: Well there you have it folks! Fracture remains the best team in the federation!
Kiss My Country Ass hits the PA, as the crowd starts to cheer.
Wolf: It is main event time ladies and gentlemen. And the title is on the line! Well, Tombs is already in the ring, and here comes Skidd Row.
Ace: The Death Row Champion!
The lights in Madison Square Garden go out and the unmistakeable intro to ‘Sabotage’ by the Beastie Boys starts to play. The fans pop in anticipation of seeing the Death Row Champion.
Wolf: Here we go, Skidd Row with his first title defense here in Death Row wrestling.
Ace: This is gonna be a tough one Wolf, though Tombs has been knocked around and bruised up here in The Row so far, but he looks ready tonight.
Wolf: That’s for sure.
Skidd Row appears behind the curtain, the crowd popping at the sight of him. He unhooks the Death Row title from around his waist and raises it up in the air. He wears his usual black t-shirt and blue ring shorts. He sprints full speed to the ring and slides under the bottom rope and somersaults onto one knee.
Wolf: Skidd Row not wasting any time here. A lot of people have questioned his ability as champion and it appears that tonight he’s here to prove everyone wrong.
Ace: The Row likes fighting champions, and Skidd Row is here in New York City to prove he’s one of them.
Skidd Row looks at Tombs briefly, then climbs the turnbuckle and raises the belt. When he gets down he hands the belt to the referee and takes off his shirt. The ref grabs the belt and raises it up in the air.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for your main event! Introducing the challenger, from
Tombs raises his arms briefly for a moment and the crowd pops. He then lowers his arms and stares down at Skidd Row, ignoring everything else.
Wolf: Tombs looking determined here.
Ace: Well you’ve got to be if you get a title shot! He’s here for the belt! That much is apparent!
Announcer: And his opponent, from Chicago Illinois, weighing in at 190 and ninety pounds, he is the current reigning Death Row Champion. . . . Skidd Rowwww!
Skidd raises his arms and looks around at the crowd as the Skidd Row fans in the arena start to cheer.
Wolf: Fans cheering Skidd Row here, the Death Row champion and this match is about under way. Who do you like in this one, Ace?
Ace: I don’t know Wolf. This is going to be a tough one. Skidd Row is the champion, but FJ Tombs has a longer reach and outweighs Skidd Row greatly. It’s your typical Power Vs. Speed in this one.
Wolf: That’s for sure. Expect Skidd Row to put on a great showing here tonight.
The ref raises the belt high over his head, the gold glinting in the lights as the bell rings. The ref hands the belt off to the stage hand.
Wolf: Here we go ladies and gentlemen, the moment we have all been waiting for!
Both men circle one another, Tombs slapping his shoulders before locking up. Immediately Tombs gains the upper hand, putting Skidd Row into a side head lock. Tombs wrenches on Skidd before Skidd moves Tombs toward the ropes and then Irish whips him into the ropes. Tombs returns and Skidd leap frogs over him, Tombs hits the ropes on the other side of the ring and as he returns Skidd Row falls to his back and lifts Tombs up into the air, sending him down to the mat.
Wolf: Skidd Row illustrating his speed here! Using his leg strength to knock him to the mat.
Ace: Tombs went down with that one.
Skidd Row gets to his feet as FJ Tombs does and quickly jumps into the air, dropkicking him into the corner.
Wolf: Tombs in the corner now after an impressive drop kick.
Skidd Row then gets up and makes his way to the corner of the ring. He grabs Tombs around the head and then sends him over his should with a snapmare. Skidd Row then grabs Tombs around the back of the head with a reverse chin lock.
Wolf: Reverse chin lock by Skidd Row.
Ace: Wonderful placement here by Skidd Row, he knows his way around the ring. Tombs stuck in the center of the ring, with nowhere to go.
Skidd Row wrenches back on Tombs’ head, Tombs wincing from the pain. The ref gets down and checks on Tombs, and Tombs shakes his head. Tombs then slowly gets to his feet, one foot at a time and then elbows Skidd Row in the gut, once, twice, before Irish whipping Skidd Row into the ropes.
Wolf: Tombs out of the hold, he sends Skidd Row into the ropes.
As Skidd Row returns, he kicks Tombs in the gut, causing him to bend over. Skidd Row then hooks his arms and DDTs him to the mat.
Wolf: Impressive DDT by Skidd Row.
Ace: The Death Row champ is dominating, Wolf!
Skidd Row then gets up and charges the ropes. He jumps up on the middle rope and then jumps off, moonsaulting onto Tombs.
Wolf: Skidd Row pulling out all the tricks tonight! He rarely uses that mooonsault!
Ace: And what a shame too, that was a beautiful moonsault!
Skidd Row then covers Tombs, going for the pin.
Wolf: We’ve got a quick pin, this thing could be over! 1. . . 2—kick out.
Ace: Skidd Row trying to go for the easy win there Wolf. But Tombs aint having any of it!
Skidd Row gets up, frustrated, then quickly reaches down and gets Tombs in a boston crab.
Wolf: Submission move here by Skidd Row.
Ace: But Tombs is too close to the ropes! Look at that shit!
Tombs reaches out and grabs the bottom rope, and the referee immediately steps in to break the hold. He counts, 1…2…3… Skidd Row breaks the hold. Skidd then drags Tombs by the leg and goes for another pin in the center of the ring.
Wolf: Another pin by Skidd! 1. . .2.. kick out!
Frustrated Skidd Row pushes down Tombs’ raised shoulder and goes for another pin, yelling at the ref.
Wolf: Yet another! 1. . .2—kick out!
Skidd Row gets up and gets in the face of the referee. He jaws the referee a little and turns around, just as Tombs gets to his feet. Tombs rises with an uppercut, hitting Skidd Row clean in the jaw and knocking him down to the mat.
Wolf: Massive uppercut by FJ Tombs!
Ace: Skidd Row should pay more attention to the man in the ring than the referee! Less of course he likes taking shots in the face.
Tombs shakes his head to get the combwebs out and then goes to Skidd Row and brings him to his feet. Tombs then lifts his left arm, measures up a bunch and punches Skidd Row above the heart.
Wolf: Heart punch by FJ Tombs.
Ace: A dangerous move, if done properly it could stop the heart! Or so the rumors say!
Skidd Row sells the punch, stumbling away from Tombs to the other side of the ring. Tombs follows him, then toss him into the ropes. As Skidd Row returns Tombs charges him and jumps in the air knocking him to the mat with a running shoulder block.
Wolf: Running shoulder block by Tombs! And Tombs has momentum.
Ace: The force of that shoulder block was impressive!
Tombs gets up, raises his arms and the crowd pops. Tombs then makes his way to a corner and climbs up to the top rope. Tombs then raises his arms again and jumps off, hitting Skidd Row with a legdrop.
Wolf: Tombs stepping out of his comfort zone with the leg drop off the top rope!
Ace: I didn’t even know Tombs was capable of such a thing. He got some serious height with that one.
Tombs then turns Skidd Row onto his back and then goes for the pin, hooking his leg.
Wolf: We’ve got a pin by Tombs! 1. . . 2. . . kick out! That was a close one. 2 and 8 tenths of a second!
Ace: That seemed like a fast count to me. That was some bullshit.
Tombs gets up, breathing heavy. He reaches down and grabs Skidd Boy the hair, and as Skidd Row gets up he punches Tombs in the gut, once, twice, three times before running off the ropes for momentum and returning. As he returns Tombs reaches up and grabs Skidds neck, slamming him to the mat.
Wolf: Spinning neck breaker by Tombs!
Ace: That was NOICE.
Ace: No NOOIIICCCEE!
Tombs then reaches down and brings Skidd Row to his feet. Tombs then promptly wraps his hands around Skidd Row, and picks him up, squeezing with all his might.
Wolf: Bear hug by Tombs! He’s trying to squeeze the life out of Skidd Row!
Ace: The strength of this guy is no joke. I think I just hear Skidd Row’s cartilage snap!
Skidd Row flails his arms, as the ref gets in his face, asking him if he would like to submit. The crowd buzzes as Skidd Row continues to flail around. Skidd Row then reaches up and punches Tombs, then once more before the hold is broken.
Wolf: Skidd Row is out of it! And look at him go!
Skidd Row runs off the ropes and as he returns he jumps up wrapping his legs around Tombs head and then sending him to the matt.
Wolf: Hurricanrana by Skidd Row.
Ace: The first time Tombs has ever had another man’s legs wrapped around his head? Probably.
Skidd Row slowly gets to his feet, and soon after Tombs gets to his feet as well. Skidd Row charges Tombs, but Tombs bends over and lifts Skidd Row up over the top rope.
Wolf: Tombs saw that one coming.
Ace: But what he doesn’t see is that Skidd Row landed on the ring apron! Here he comes!
As Tombs starts to stagger toward the center of the ring, Skidd Row grabs him from behind and slams him to the mat. Skidd Row then leaps up on the top rope and jumps off with a leg drop.
Wolf: Top rope leg drop from Skidd Row!
Ace: This guy is as agile as a cat, and probably has just as many lives.
Skidd Row then crawls over Tombs for the pin.
Wolf: Pin by Skidd Row—this could be it! This could be it! 1. . . 2. . . no! Kick out!
Ace: Tombs just barely got out of that one Wolf. It’s looking like all those beatings he has taken in the past have caught up with him.
Wolf: That’s a good point, Ace. You’ve got to think that Tombs still has Cort Vang in the back of his head somewhere. What’s to keep him from interfering in yet another Tombs match?
Ace: Absolutely nothing!
Skidd Row gets up and then brings Tombs to his feet. Skidd Row tries to Irish Whip Tombs into the corner but Tombs holds his ground. Tombs then grabs Skidd and tosses him into the corner, the result of which sends Skidd through the top and middle rope and right into the steel ring post. The crowd pops.
Wolf: Skidd Row just collided with the ring post! That’ll hurt your shoulder, won’t it?
Ace: Sure. Sure it will.
Tombs raises his arms and the crowd pops as Skidd Row crawls out from the ropes grabbing his arm. He makes his way into the center of the ring and Tombs promptly clotheslines him to the mat.
Wolf: Huge clothesline by Tombs, he flattened Skidd Row with that one.
Ace: What he should do now, is work the arm!
Tombs stomps Skidd Rows arm before bringing him to his feet. Tombs then hooks Skidd Row’s head under his arm, tossing Skidds off arm over his head. Tombs then grabs Skidd’s trunks and lifts him over his head, falling backward, slamming him to the mat.
Wolf: Textbook suplex by Tombs!
Tombs keeps his hold on Skidd and brings him up to his feet. Tombs then lifts him again and slams him back to the mat.
Wolf: Another suplex by Tombs!
Ace: Just linking those moves together, Wolf!
Tombs then crawls over Skidd Row and goes for the pin. The ref slides to the mat for the count.
Wolf: We’ve got a pin by Tombs! 1. . . 2. . . kick out!
Ace: Woah that one was close.
Wolf: Awfully close, Ace.
Skidd Row, in an effort to get away from Tombs quickly rolls out of the ring. When he lands on the outside he leans back grabbing his back and breathing heavy. Tombs follows in pursuit, climbing out of the ring, but as he reaches Skidd, Skidd reaches up and punches him promptly in his face. Skidd then grabs Tombs and slams him face first into the commentators table.
Wolf: Tombs just went face first into the table!
Ace: Skidd Row letting Tombs get up close and personal! I love it! You can smell the sweat on these guys!
Wolf: You like the smell of man sweat?
Ace: Uh… what?! No… no… absolutely not. . . .
Skidd Row then grabs Tombs but Tombs raises an elbow and elbows Skidd promptly in the gut. Tombs then tries to Irish whip Skidd into the steel steps, but Skidd row reverses it, tossing Tombs into the steps instead. The crowd pops at the sound of Tombs barreling into the steps.
Wolf: And there goes Tombs! He just went right into the steel ring steps!
Ace: Skidd Row has got to cease this opportunity and get Tombs back in the ring. You can’t pin a man outside of it!
Skidd Row picks up Tombs and tosses him into the ring. Skidd Row then climbs the turnbuckle and perches on the top, waiting for Tombs to get to his feet. When he does, Skidd Row jumps off for the body splash but Tombs catches him. Tombs then throws him back, slamming him to the mat.
Wolf: Skidd Row went for the body splash there but Tombs caught him and took him to the mat with a fallaway slam.
Ace: Did I mention this guy was strong? Skidd Row may not weigh as much as some of the other guys, but he certainly isn’t as light as a feather!
The crowd pops as the referee looks around and sees both men on the mat. He starts to make the count. 1. . . 2. . . 3. . . 4. . . Tombs slowly gets to his feet, breathing heavy as Skidd Row crawls to the ropes trying to pull himself up. Tombs aids him by grabbing a tuft of hair and pulling him to his feet. Tombs then kicks Skidd Row in the gut and then places Skidd Row’s head between his legs. He then lifts him into the air and slams him to the mat.
Wolf: Massive power bomb by Tombs! Skidd Row is down!
The crowd pops as Tombs runs a thumb across his throat, signaling this could be the end.
Wolf: It looks like this could be the end! Tombs signaling to the crowd!
Tombs then brings Skidd Row to his feet and lifts him up into the air slamming him to the mat. The crowd pops.
Wolf: There it is! There it is! The Stampede!
Ace: Skidd Row is out, we could have a new champion!
The crowd buzzes, FJ Tombs fans cheering loudly in particular, as the ref gets down to the mat to make the count.
Wolf: YES! 1. . . YES! 2. . .3! He’s actually done it!
The fans pop as the referee heads to the ropes to retrieve the belt from the ring hand. Tombs fans are standing on their feet, still cheering.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and NEEEWWW Death Row Champion. . FJ Tombs!
The ref hands Tombs the belt and raises his arm as the crowd continues to cheer. Skidd Row rolls out of the ring.
Wolf: He’s done it! He’s done it! Tombs is the new Death Row champion!
Ace: Skidd Row put on a good showing, but tonight just wasn’t his night!
Tombs drops to his knees and stares at the belt, before clutching it to his breast. Tombs raises his arm again in victory.
Wolf: There you have it! But I’m sorry, we’re out of time!
"I am not that dragon and you are not that warrior."
- Wondrous Mental Dragon