Screw a personal life, there is only one place you want to be on a Wednesday night. That is sitting behind your computer like some 39 year old nerd living in his parent's basement, only cooler. Why's that? Because instead of surfing for World of Warcraft porn, you direct your browser straight to the only website that matters... DeathRowWrestling.com.
From black we are introduced to cell doors. As they open, a long, dark, and gritty hallway is exposed. Slowly at first, the camera moves down the hall picking up speed until it rest on a door. As the door unlocks and opens we see a room set up for lethal injection.
However, the chair is empty.
Our, now familiar, masked man walks into view. In his right hand, he grips the Death Row Championship by it's strap, allowing the rest to hang. The man walks over and lays it across the chair. He slightly moves his fingers across the golden faceplate.
Masked Man: It’s time.
The man turns and looks toward the camera, tilting his head slightly to the left then back, letting out a sadistic laugh. At that point the entire scene just witnessed plays backward at a fast speed. As the cell doors close back, the Lethal Injection logo burst through them.
The camera pans across the crowd before landing on our commentators.
Wolf: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Death Row Wrestling! I'm Waylon Wolf and joining me is the one and only, Tommy Ace!
Ace: Thanks Waylon, but I'm the man who needs no introduction baby, YEAH!
Tommy pops his collar with confidence.
Wolf: What a show we have for you tonight as the Death Row Championship is decided in a Texas Bull Rope Match!
Ace: BRING ON THE MOTHER FUCKING COW BELL!!!
Wolf: Skidd Row debuts, Chance Von Crank promises the cure for Cancer and more!
Ace: It's going to be one hell of a show!
A yellow taxi cab arrives at the arena door. The camera shows us a pair of ring boots stepping out of the back seat.
Cabbie: That'll be fifteen fifty, chief.
The guy pays the cab fare. The cabbie clears his throat, this entire time we're still starring at ring boots.
Cabbie: Oh what, no tip?
The camera comes up. We see one of Death Row's newest signee's Skidd Row standing there before us. Gym bag in one hand, an impatient look on his face.
Skidd Row: Here's a good tip, watch the show tonight. See what happens to Yoshii and his Mario Kart buddies. See what happens when Skidd Rows starts to climb the corporate ladder. Will he crash and burn? Nope, don't think so. That's not his style. Instead tonight, Skidd Row takes one step closer to his dreams. The dreams of any man, the dreams of gold.
The cabbie is stunned and just stares a hole through Skidd.
Cabbie: Yeah, whatever. Nice to know you kid. You're a cheapskate.
And off he goes. Skidd smiles and walks over to an arena worker.
Skidd Row: Which way to catering? I want to get something to eat before my match.
The worker looks down at his clipboard.
Worker:Um, who are you?
Skidd Row: I'm Skidd Row.
Worker: Dude you've got like three mintutes before your match. You better hurry.
Skidd looks at him slightly odd.
Skidd Row: I never fight on an empty stomache. Which way to catering?
The worker realizes this isn't going to be over any time soon.
Worker: Down this hall, third left. Have fun.
Skidd walks into the building.
Skidd Row: DOWN ON SKIDD ROW, THAT'S WHERE YOSHII WILL BE, DOWN ON SKIDD ROW.
He sings this part as if he's singing "Under the Boardwalk". What an odd ball.
The lights go out and the PA system fires up. The unmistakable intro to "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys starts playing and from behind the curtain comes Skidd Row!
Announcer: Weighing 190 pounds and hailing from Chicago, Illinois..SKIIIDDD ROW!!
Ace: Skidd Row is making his Death Row debut!
Wolf: I wouldn't get too excited; He is making it against Yoshii.
Skidd Row walks down the ramp as he slaps a few hands on his way to the ring. He slides through the ropes and somersaults onto one knee! The crowd responds as he touches each turnbuckle before settling in the middle of the ring watching the entrance ramp.
Wolf: That was a nice somersault if I must say so.
Ace: Here comes Yoshii!
"The National Anthem" by the Yoshida Brothers hits and the lights go dim with a hint of red. A spot light shines down at the entrance ramp and out walks Jed who stops and extends his hand to show the 493 pound Godzilla, Yoshii.
Announcer: And his opponent is hailing from Tokyo, Japan! Weighing in at four hundred and ninety three pounds, Godzilla himself! YOSHHHHI!
Ace: Yoshi is a monster, Wolf!
Wolf: He looks pissed after his loss on Lethal Injection three to Daniels.
Yoshi walks out and heads to the ring with a serious and concentrated stare, as the light follows as Jed trails right behind him. Yoshii takes the steps up into the ring and walks along the apron and awaits as Jed sits on the middle rope to let Yoshii get into the ring with ease. The lights re-lighten just in time for the fans to see and hear Yoshii look up and yell "吉井私 ！処罰され、�"��…�するための�–備 ！"!!!
Wolf: Yoshii towers over the Death Row newcomer, and is more than double his weight.
Ace: I think this will be the epitome of a squash match Waylon.
Skidd Row sizes an over-confident looking Yoshii as the bell sounds.
Wolf: Here we go!
Skidd steps back and bounces off the ropes, using them to send him with momentum toward Yoshii.
Wolf: Skidd Row met with a huge overhand fist to the head by Yoshii.
Skidd instantly goes to one knee. Yoshii reaches down, grabbing his opponent's head, and pulls him to his feet.
Wolf: Huge backhand chop by Yoshii, followed by another.
Ace: Skidd is reeling.
Yoshii grabs the left arm of Skidd Row and whips him into the ropes. As Skidd returns, Yoshii catches him in his massive arms.
Wolf: The former sumo wrestler lifts, side belly-to-belly slam!
Ace: This one is over.
Jed Eye claps on the outside as Yoshii gets to his feet.
Wolf: Yoshii runs and jumps...
Ace: I don't want to look.
Wolf: HUGE leg drop!
The ring shakes as he lands, the fans pop, and Skidd Row looks dead.
Wolf: Using the ropes to get to his feet, Yoshii looks to be wrapping this opening contest up here quick as he drags the motionless body of Skidd Row to the nearby corner.
Yoshii holds onto the ropes as he begins climbing the turnbuckles.
Wolf: Yoshii setting up for the Yoshii Bomb.
Ace: Skidd Row is going to be feeling this for the rest of the time he's in Death Row.
Wolf: If he is able to even compete again after this.
The cameras flash as Yoshii bounces then leaps up, releasing the ropes. At the very last moment, somehow, some way, Skidd Row is able to roll out of the way, under the bottom rope and falling hard to the floor outside. Yoshii hits the bar mat and an overwhelming Ooooohhhh roars from within the crowd.
Ace: Skidd Row moved! He moved!
Wolf: Yes, but did you see how hard he hit the unprotected floor on the outside?!
The camera zooms in on Skidd Row who rolls around on the outside, holding his lower back in obvious pain. Inside the ring a look of complete surprise comes across Yoshii's face as he holds his legs on the mat.
Wolf: Yoshii cannot believe that Skidd Row was able to roll out of the way.
Ace: I think we all are.
Jed Eye walks around the ring, stopping near Skidd Row. He turns to the ring and slaps the corner of the apron, yelling for Yoshii to get up.
Ace: The issue here is that if Yoshii wants to regain momentum, he needs to get Skidd Row back into the ring. At his size, maneuvering in and out of the ring is more difficult than a normal sized competitor.
Wolf: I agree Tommy. However, Yoshii needs to do something soon before Skidd has a chance to recover.
Ace: Hitting the floor like he did, I'd say the chances of that are slim to none.
Skidd rolls over and pushes up to his hands and knees, trying to get back up. Inside the ring, Yoshii begins to get to his feet using the ropes.
Wolf: Both men now moving.
Skidd gets to his feet, but sells an injury to his back as Yoshii raises completely as well. Yoshii heads toward the ropes and begins to exit under the top.
Wolf: Yoshii heading to the outside.
Ace: This could be a good move or bad on his part. I would personally wait for Skidd Row to return to the ring and then make my move.
With Yoshii halfway out, Skidd makes his move.
Wolf: Skidd Row runs.
Skidd runs up the steps and leaps off, both feet out, catching Yoshii square in the face.
Wolf: Dropkick by Skidd Row!
Skidd falls back to the hard floor, his head bouncing off of the concrete as Yoshii twist violently sideways and twist in the ropes before falling over the middle, hitting hard on the corner of the apron and then plopping down to the floor. Jed Eye grabs his head with both hands and yells in shock.
Wolf: Both men down on the outside of the ring after Skidd Row makes a risky decision that paid off.
Ace: Yea, but did he do even more damage to himself? And if he didn't, how the hell will he get Yoshii back in the ring?
Wolf: I'd reckon Skidd needs to try and win by count out. That's if he can even get up again.
Jed Eye rushes over to check on Yoshii, trying to help him up, but obviously unable to budge the big man at all.
Wolf: Jed Eye unable to help Yoshii to his feet.
Ace: He's going to need a forklift.
Skidd Row uses the apron to pull himself to his feet, still holding his head, he rolls into the ring and back out to restart the referee's count.
Ace: Unsure if that was wise.
Wolf: I don't know what he's thinking, but if Skidd wants to make a name for himself, he should wait for an opponent who isn't a behemoth.
Skidd heads over and pushes Jed Eye out of the way, grabbing Yoshii's head as he is getting up. Once up, Skidd directs Yoshii to the apron and attempts to slam his face into it, but Yoshii is able to stop him and reverse the move.
Wolf: Yoshii introduces Skidd Row to the Death Row ring corner.
Skidd stumbles back holding his face. Yoshii turns and comes forward with an extended arm.
Wolf: Skidd Row ducks the clothesline attempt by Yoshii!
Both men turn, and Skidd Row leaps up.
Wolf: Skidd Row connects with another drop kick!
Ace: He needs to use moves like this to compete with his oversized opponent.
Yoshii stumbles back and into the guard rail. Skidd starts towards him, but Jed Eye gets in between them, holding his hands up. Every time Skidd Row tries to go around him, Jed Eye moves.
Wolf: Jed Eye running interference, trying to give Yoshii a chance to recover.
Ace: Smart move by Yoshii's manager.
The fans slap the back of Yoshii as he stands up straight.
Ace: Yoshii looks pissed.
As Yoshii charges Skidd Row, Jed Eye moves out of the way. Yoshii grabs at Skidd, who moves sideways, turns and quickly slides into the ring.
Wolf: Skidd using his speed to get out of the way of danger.
Ace: He needs to stay on the move.
Yoshii slowly walks over to the steps and up, and then enters the ring.
Wolf: Both men now back in the ring with a small breather; it could go either way at this point.
Ace: Either way? Are you kidding me? This match has been all Yoshii and will continue to be. I mean, come on! Look at his size compared to Skidd Row.
Wolf: Skidd Row really needs to re-evaluate the situation and figure out how he can use his speed and smaller size to gather an advantage here.
Skidd Row runs toward Yoshii and leaps up, but is caught in his massive arms.
Wolf: Yoshii catches Skidd Row in a bear hug.
Ace: He’s squeezing Skidd Row with a ton of force!
Skidd Row thrust his arms out, clinching his fist.
Wolf: Skidd Row trying to hold on.
Ace: Yoshii is showing no mercy.
Jed Eye slaps the apron yelling for Yoshii to finish the job.
Wolf: Skidd Row seems to be losing consciousness.
Ace: If he passes out this match is over. After those blows to his head, he could very well have a concussion!
The referee checks on Skidd who looks to be going limp. Jed Eye slaps the apron more, getting louder. The fans begin becoming very vocal, with a mixed reaction.
Wolf: I think the ref is about to call this one.
Ace: He needs to.
Suddenly, Skidd Row’s fist shoot back out. Yoshii’s face is that of shock. Skidd Row’s fists begin shaking. The fans get louder.
Wolf: Skidd Row is trying to hold on, but can he?
Ace: No fucking way.
Skidd Row slaps his fist in, catching Yoshii in the temples. Yoshii just seems to squeeze harder. Row brings his arms in again. This time when his fists catch the temples of Yoshii, the Japanese sumo legend drops Skidd to the mat and stumbles back.
Wolf: Skidd Row somehow has gotten out of Yoshii’s grasp!
Ace: You’ve really got to be kidding me. How?!
Skidd Row rest on his hands and knees, trying to catch his breath, as Yoshii holds his head and stumbles around. Suddenly Skidd Row leaps forward, toward the back of Yoshii’s knee.
Wolf: Skidd Row chops Yoshii’s knee! The big man goes down like a tree in the woods!
Ace: All I can say is wow.
Skidd rolls over and uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet again. He runs and slides.
Wolf: Baseball slide by Skidd Row!
Ace: Building momentum, but can he finish Yoshii off?!
Yoshi gets angry and begins to get up, as he does Skidd runs to the turnbuckle and begins to climb it.
Wolf: Skidd Row looking to take a high risk.
Yoshii gets to his feet as Skidd stands high on the top turnbuckle. He leaps off, as he flies down, Skidd grabs Yoshii's neck and twist around.
Wolf: OFF THE TOP ROPE INTO A HUGE DDT!
Ace: That was impressive!
Jed Eye pulls his hair iin disbelief as Skidd covers Yoshii and the referee goes for the count.
Wolf: I think it's over!
The referee hits three and the bell begins to sound.
Ace: Somehow, Skidd Row was able to beat Yoshii!
Wolf: Not a bad way to make your debut!
Ace: Not at all.
Jed Eye slides into the ring to check on Yoshii as Skidd celebrates.
The scene shifts to a location most of the guys in the back would be familiar with, an empty gym with equipment evenly spread around the room encircling a tattered and torn wrestling ring. The canvas is held together by duct tape and a little bit of hope, the ropes are sagging ever so slightly, and the turnbuckles hang loosely in the corners, unable to be fastened properly.
The lights go out in the arena. A purple spotlight hits the curtain where a cVc logo is ducktaped up now. The lights flash as.. "YEAH, BITCH! YEAH BITCH! CALL ME STEVE-O!" is heard through out the arena. "Wild Boy" By Machine Gun Kelly continues to blast as the purple and orange laser light show begins. The Trailer Park Prodigy walks out onto the stage to mixed reaction from the crowd. Purple and Orange confetti falls from the rafters as he looks around at the fans.
Wolf: I was informed he paid for all of this out of his own pockets.
Ace: Yeah Bitch! Yeah Bitch! ImmA wild BOI!
Wolf: cVc, ladies and gentlemen has lived up to his name so far, now if he will stick around till Cancer gets in the ring we should see a fine match!
Ace: He came to win. TPP! TPP!
Chance walks over to the announce table and leaps up on it. The confetti has stopped raining down and a three man crew from side of the ring comes out to get it out of the ring to prevent a injury. Chance walks back and forth across the announce table wearing his robe. He takes it all in as he stops finally and looks around at the crowd and the crew now exiting after retrieving the confetti from ring area. Chance looks behind him at Ace, and asks for a mic. Ace reaches him one, and Chance slaps him a high five for doing so. He holds the mic up to his lips, but does not speak. He tosses his robe off and is wearing something around his neck.
Trailer Park Prodigy™: Allow me to Introduce myself... I am The RazzlerDazzler, Trailer Park Prodigy, The Reason Your Ass Is In That Seat, Shock-N-Rolla, Here-to-Show Ya, COCKED BACK AND FUCKING LOADED, CHANCE VON CRANK! As you can see I have my Nobel Peace Prize around my neck.
The camera pans into show what Chance is talking about, it is a 1976 Ford T-Bird hood emblem on a gold chain.
Trailer Park Prodigy™: You see, I am on my way to the fucking top of this business. This Nobel Peace Prize is just another award from some assholes from who gives a fuck. Jiles time has come and fucking went and after I whip his ass I'm Gonna Titty-Fuck Some Whore in Here To Death. Now Everyone I am going to Cure Death Rows Cancer. It keeps growing, and killing out all the great talent with shitty catchphrases and Stupid moves, CCJ is the Past, CVC IS THE NOW! I'll be one more step closer to my strap, CCJ and his quirky words and still thinks he is relevant. He's Gonna Be Dazzled. Fuck Cancer, Let's Cure It!
Chance jumps off the table and rolls in the ring still holding the mic. He jumps on the turnbuckle looking toward the entrance ramp.
Trailer Park Prodigy™: Cancer says I bedazzled my cock? I had to, to fuck that scab covered meat paddy his wife calls A Pussy. Come Get It, Motherfucker.
Laughs can be heard through out the arena as Chance doesn't take his eyes from the ramp, waiting for Cool Cancer Jiles.
Ace: Whoa Chance is on top of his game tonight.
Wolf: He sure does know how to make an entrance. Here comes his opponent, CANCER JILES!
I AM THE COOL by Screamin' Jay Hawkins hits throughout the arena as the fans have mixed reaction to Mr. Cool. He struts to the ring never taking his eyes off Chance who is still on the turnbuckle holding his arms high, still in his robe.
Announcer: Hailing from Philadelphia, PA! Weighing in at 225 Pounds, He is Mr. Cool, Cool Cancer JILLESSSSS!!!!!!!
Wolf: This could well steal the show even with our first champion to be crowned later tonight.
Ace: These two men are two of the best wrestlers in this entire company if you ask me, and I heard cVc asked for this match?
Wolf: Foolish on his part, Cancer was a champion many times in Dream and all over the world, Ace.
Ace: This is Death Row however, and The Trailer Park Prodigy beat maybe our best tag team by himself last week.
Cancer Jiles walks up the steps never taking his eyes off Chance. Chance turns away to toss his robe into the crowd from the ring and Jiles charges, Chance turns quickly and the bell sounds to begin the match.
Wolf: As the bell sounds, we kick the match off with a little smack talk from both sides.
Chance Von Crank offers his hands for a test of strength.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles, a little reluctant, agrees.
As Cancer raises his hands, Crank quickly gouges his eyes.
Wolf: Jiles caught by surprise with that vicious eye gouge.
Ace: Chance Von Crank always has a plan!
Wolf: That plan seems to be to blind Mr. Cool.
Cancer holds his eyes in pain. Crank runs at the ropes, jumping to the second rope.
Wolf: Springboard, twist into an open palm slap. Adding insult to injury.
Ace: He just bitch slapped Jiles! I love it!
Wolf: You would.
Jiles stumbles, and then falls to the mat. As he attempts to get to his feet, cVc stomps his fingers.
Wolf: Ouch! That's smarts.
Ace: It actually is. The Trailer Park Prodigy is a genius!
Cancer Jiles grabs his hand, which is throbbing in pain.
Wolf: Crank yanks his opponent up viciously by his head. Digging his nails deep into Jiles back, he rakes it all the way down.
The referee warns Crank, who raises his hands up as if saying he didn't do anything. As Jiles turns toward them, cVc pushes by the referee and boots Jiles in the 'junk'.
Wolf: Legal here in Death Row, but even the referee finds that in bad taste.
Ace: Jiles goes down quicker than a Mexican prostitute on Cinco de Mayo.
Chance Von Crank stops to give a cocky pose to the booing fans.
Wolf: Crank has been in 100% control this entire match. I don't think Jiles was prepared for his not so professional tactics.
Ace: He just isn’t ready to face a man as ruthless as Crank. I love it! He’s putting jiles in his place!
Chance Von Crank picks Cancer's legs up, looks out to the crowd then leans back, sending him flying into the nearby turnbuckle.
Wolf: Slingshot to the corner by Crank.
As Jiles stumbles off of the turnbuckle, in on swift move, Crank catches him as he turns into a perfectly telegraphed swinging neck breaker.
Wolf: Chance Von Crank goes for the pin to end the match.
Ace: End it quick and cVc can end the hype which is Cancer Jiles.
Cancer Jiles kicks out at two and three quarters.
Wolf: Somehow Jiles found the strength to kick out. Crank can't believe it. To be honest, neither can I!
Ace: Pure luck.
As Jiles tries to pull himself to his feet by using the ropes, Crank grabs his head and runs his eyes along the ropes. Jiles grabs his face again and flops to the mat.
Wolf: Chance Von Crank stooping to low levels to secure a win over Mr. Cool.
Crank goes to stomps Jiles, but Cancer rolls out of the ring.
Wolf: Maybe the smartest move by Cancer Jiles this entire match.
Ace: What is this chicken going to do? Run away?
Wolf: What? Like Chance Von Crank does?
Ace: No, Chance refuses to wrestle losers. Tonight he’s doing Cancer a favor by giving him the privilege of facing him.
Wolf: I’m sure that’s what it is.
cVc slides out of the ring as Cancer rolls back in.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles escaping cVc again.
As Crank turns to the ring in time to see Jiles soaring through the ropes.
Wolf: Suicide Drives by Jiles!
As he hits his mark, both men hit the ground. The fans pop for Jiles.
Wolf: That may have been the move to turn this match around!
Ace: Oh come on!
Jiles uses the steps to make it to his feet. As Crank attempts to push himself up. Cancer runs and places a boot into his midsection sending Chance back to the floor.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles now in control. He lifts Crank to his feet, and rolls him into the ring.
Ace: Get up Chance! Get up!
Jiles climbs to the apron, then the turnbuckle.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles looking to fly!
Crank begins to get to his feet. He turns towards Jiles, who leaps through the air.
Wolf: Jiles caught by Crank! Power slam into a pin!
Ace: Yes! Yes! YES@~!
The referee drops to begin his count and Chance throws his legs up on the ropes for leverage.
Wolf: Ah come on!
The referee hits two but as he is bringing his hand down for three, he sees Crank's feet and begins pointing as he gets back up.
Wolf: Good work ref!
Ace: Good work? He didn’t finish he count!
Chance Von Crank gets in the referee's face, yelling about not knowing how to count. Behind him, Cancer is slowly using the ropes to get to his feet.
Wolf: Crank trying to justify his actions, but the referee isn't having any of it.
Cancer gathers himself and waits. Finally, Chance begins to turn and Cancer leaps forward.
Wolf: TERMINAL CAN... NO!
Chance moves and Cancer hits his super kick perfectly.... on the referee.
Wolf: Referee Juan Velazquez is out!
Cancer's face is full of surprise as he looks down at the referee who is out cold. Chance drops to a knee and brings his arm up between Jiles' legs.
Wolf: Low blow by Chance Von Crank and there is no referee to stop him.
Ace: Why would they stop brilliance anyway?
Cancer falls to his knees holding himself.
Wolf: Crank with a swift kick to the back of Cancer Jiles.
Cancer falls face first into the mat, holding his back in pain.
Wolf: This match has been almost one sided, as Chance Von Crank uses down right dirty tactics to make sure that Cancer Jiles has little to no chance of winning.
Ace: I see what you did there.
Wolf: I didn’t do any.. oh.. shut up Tommy.
Chance grabs Cancer, and violently pulls him to his feet.
Wolf: Crank with an Irish whip. Cancer Jiles off the ropes and on the return, he ducks a clothesline attempt by Chance Von Crank.
Both men quickly turn to face each other.
Wolf: Boot to the gut of Jiles.
Chance Von Crank grabs the back of Cancer Jiles' head and yanks him backwards to the mat.
Wolf: Crank grabs one of Jiles' legs.
Cancer uses his free leg to kick Chance back. As cVc stumbles back a few steps, Cancer Jiles is able to get to his feet. Chance Von Crank regains his composure and takes a step towards Cancer who jumps.
Wolf: Somehow he pulls off a standing drop kick!
Wolf: A moment ago you were screaming yes.
As Chance Von Crank his the mat, Cancer quickly grabs his head and lifts him up.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles now with a knife edge chop followed by another, and another. He grabs Chance's arm, whips him across the.. no, Chance Von Crank reverses. Cancer Jiles off the ropes, he leaps, big shoulder block takes Chance Von Crank down.
Cancer quickly covers Crank.
Wolf: The referee is still down, Cancer trying to end this match now that he is the offensive.
As Cancer gets to his feet, he once again pulls Chance Von Crank to his.
Wolf: Jiles now with a big right hand, followed by another. However, Crank blocks this one and returns fire with his own. Chance Von Crank scoops Cancer up, Jiles slides behind him, landing on his feet.
Cancer pushes Crank who falls a few steps forward, stopping at the ropes. As he turns around, Cancer runs at him.
Wolf: Chance Von Crank moves, pulling the top rope down.
Cancer goes over the top rope, catching it as he goes over. Crank smirks and points two thumbs to himself at the crowd as Cancer uses his strength to flip back over the ropes and into the ring.
Wolf: Chance Von Crank turns, Cancer Jiles showing off his agility with a standing drop kick, the second one he's used in this match so far.
Ace: So unoriginal. What does Cancer have? Five moves?
Jiles picks up both of Chance's legs, he leans back, falling to the mat.
Wolf: Slingshot! Chance Von Crank flies into the nearby corner post.
Ace: Maybe six. Whatever.
As he hits, he bounces back and stumbles around. Cancer Jiles sets up behind him, almost stalking the Trailer Park Prodigy.
Wolf: Crank turns, Jiles lunges forward, BIG SPEAR!
Jiles quickly returns to his feet.
Wolf: Quick and very hard stomps by 'Mr. Cool' Cancer Jiles.
Cancer yanks Crank to his feet, and quickly guides his head into the nearby top turnbuckle. He doesn't let go. With his free hand he points to the corner post on the opposite side and walks Crank over to it, slamming his head into that turnbuckle as well before turning him around and shoving him into the post back first.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles using the top ropes for leverage as he stomps repeatedly into the mid-section of Chance Von Crank.
Ace: Get up Chance!
Crank falls to a semi-sitting position in the corner as Cancer continues to stomp. He walks to the middle of the ring and points at Crank as he looks out to the crowd.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles runs.
Chance Von Crank quickly grabs the ropes, pulling himself up and side steps as Cancer comes crashing through with a boot up. His leg wraps into the post before he falls back hitting the mat.
Wolf: Maybe the opportunity that Chance Von Crank needed to get back on top in this match
Ace: Maybe? He’s got this locked!
Cancer Jiles holds himself in pain as cVc steps over him and climbs to the second rope. He holds onto the top rope, using it to launch himself up, before coming down with a knee drop.
Wolf: Crank to his feet, he pulls Jiles to his.
Chance grabs Cancer's arm, and goes to pull him into a short arm clothesline.
Wolf: Cancer ducks, they both turn.
Jiles leaps up, simultaneously grabbing the back of Chance's neck and placing his knees into Crank's chest, falling back. As Jiles lands on the mat, cVc’s chest is crush and he springs up and backwards. The crowd goes insane.
A Cancer chant begins as the King of Cool rolls over and uses the ropes to get to his feet.
Wolf: It looks as if the referee is coming to, maybe just in time as Cancer Jiles can put this one away!
Ace: Someone knock him back out!
Cancer sees the referee then quickly covers Crank.
Wolf: The referee is still a bit out of it, but slowly making his way to Jiles and Crank.
Cancer yells for the referee to hurry. The ref drops beside them and raises his arm up.
The crowd goes ballistic as the referee raises his hand again.
Jiles yells for one more and the referee puts his hand up.
Wolf: This is it! THREE.... NO@~! KICK OUT BY CHANCE VON CRANK! SOMEHOW HE KICKED OUT!
Cancer looks at the mat, unable to comprehend that the match just isn't over yet. As he begins to get up, Chance Von Crank rolls over, and starts to use the ropes to pull himself to his feet.
Wolf: Someone has to win! Both men have a drive to be the number one person in Death Row Wrestling. They both want to know, WHO IS THE BEST IN THE RING RIGHT NOW?!
The camera pans to the top as we see Goliath coming through the curtain and heading toward the ring.
Wolf: It's Goliath! What is he doing here?!
Ace: Putting his nose where it doesn’t belong, that’s what!
Wolf: This is the man who almost killed Rykor last week after he had his chance at the championship taken away in his first match against Cancer Jiles.
Crank rest on the top rope and looks down at Goliath making his way towards the ring. He is obviously exhausted and looks unready for Goliath to interfere.
Wolf: Cancer Jiles is protesting to the referee to have Goliath removed so that the two men can finish their match.
Goliath stalks Jiles from outside of the ring.
Wolf: Goliath looks to want to make an impact, and he can do that by taking out either or even both of these men.
Suddenly the crowd gets louder.
Wolf: RYKOR! Here he comes from the back!
Rykor rushes down and attacks Goliath from behind.
Wolf: Forearm to the back of Goliath, catching him off guard.
Ace: These idiots need to let Chance Von Crank finish Cancer Jiles off!
Rykor turns Goliath around and begins hitting him with huge shots.
Wolf: Rykor lighting into Goliath with fury.
Inside the ring, Cancer heads toward Crank who gets to his feet.
Wolf: Chance turns, caught by Cancer. Whipped across... NO! Crank reverses. Cancer sent into the ropes. On the return... PUMP KICK BY CRANK!
Jiles drops back. Outside the ring both Rykor and Goliath are exchanging punches. Rykor sends Goliath head first into the steps.
Wolf: Rykor taking charge of Goliath on the outside. What is he doing here?!
Rykor angerly stomps away at Goliath.
Ace: Getting revenge, it's obvious.
Chance Von Crank rolls out of the ring and begins yelling at Rykor to leave ringside.
Wolf: Big right hand by Rykor! He's attacking Chance Von Crank now!
Ace: Come on!
Rykor smashes cVc’s head into the barrier then rolls him back into the ring.
Wolf: Rykor has cleared house!
Rykor looks down at Goliath then begins back up the ramp. Suddenly, Yoshii comes from the back and as quickly as he is able to, heads down the ramp passing Rykor.
Ace: Now what?
Wolf: Yoshii is checking on the situation, but he is too late. The damage is done.
Yoshii checks on Goliath then looks into the ring at cVc before turning around angrily.
Wolf: Rykor with a chair to the head of Yoshii!
Ace: That’s what he gets for butting in.
Wolf: But why did any of these guys come out in the first place?!
Rykor tosses the chair down hard at Yoshii’s head and begins yelling at him before snarling and backing up the ramp again.
Wolf: There are bodies everywhere.
Ace: Rykor may have asked for the match against Yoshii at Death From Above, but Yoshii asked for that chair shot coming down like he did.
Wolf: I just don’t understand any of this!
Ace: What’s there to not understand? Goliath has unfinished business with Cancer Jiles. Rykor has unfinished business with Goliath, and Yoshii, well… Yoshii decided to stick his fat nose into Rykor’s business just because they have a match. Overall, the way I see it, everyone here was just asking for what they got.
Wolf: And what’s that?
Ace: A message from Rykor.
Inside the ring, Chance Von Crank uses the ropes to pull himself up. He looks outside of the ring at Goliath and Yoshii who are laid out and then down at Cancer who is coming around as well.
Wolf: Chance lets out a roar before yanking Cancer up by his head.
Ace: GET HIM!
Jiles retaliates with a shot to the gut of Crank, followed by another.
Wolf: He stands up and sends a fist into Chance's head, Crank blocks the next and delivers his own punch. The fans are going nuts.
Crank grabs Cancer, whip, into... NO! Over the top rope!
Wolf: Cancer hits the side of the apron before falling to the floor. The Trailer Park Prodigy follows him to the outside. The referee begins counting.
Crank pulls Cancer to his feet, directing him to the barrier.
Wolf: Chance Von Crank slams Cancer's head into the barrier.
The screaming fans pat both men on the back.
Wolf: Crank attempting to introduce Cancer's head into the barrier again, stopped by Cancer. jiles now grabs Chance's head and returns the favor.
The fans are loud as they get into the match even more.
Wolf: Cancer turns Crank around and hits him in the stomach. He takes a few steps back and runs, leaping, and putting his knee into the stomach of Crank.
Cancer slaps the chest of cVc before grabbing his arm and attempting to whip him into the steps.
Wolf: Reversal by Crank!
Wolf: Chance Von Crank rolls Cancer Jiles back into the ring, sliding in himself, then back out. What is he doing?
Ace: He's walking over to the time keeper's table.
cVc picks up his "Nobel Peace Price" and mouths to the camera The Cure For Cancer as he holds it up.
Wolf: Cancer with that hood ornament.
Ace: His award medal Waylon! For curing Cancer!
Crank slides back into the ring as Cancer is to his feet.
Wolf: Cancer is there to meet him! He lunges forward.. TERMINAL CAN...
cVc sidesteps and uses the "medal" as a weapon as he slams it into the face of Cancer Jiles who hits the mat immediately.
The referee drops down to count as Chance Von Crank covers Cancer Jiles. The fans begin to boo heavily as the referee's hand hits the three.
Ace: YES! YES! YES!
Wolf: With a little help from a weapon, Chance Von Crank steals a win from Cancer Jiles.
Ace: Steals? he earned it!
Chance Von Crank stands in the middle of the ring yelling I Cured Cancer! I Cured Cancer!
Ace: Don't be a hater Waylon. That is the best man in Death Row!
Wolf: Only to you Tommy, only to you.
The H-Town Hustlas are standing in the hallway of the arena. they have a large cardboard box cut out like an old television show lemonade stand.
Gutta Boy: T-shirts. I got cho t-shirts.
Rodd Mac: Limited edition hub caps, right off The B lack Skulls car yo! Five dollaz!
The Black Skulls burst into the scene, obviously angry. Kenta Urino points at the hub caps shaking his finger. THE Sam Skull puts an arm in front of him, to hold him back and steps forward.
THE Sam Skull: What my friend here is trying to convey, is those are ours.
Rodd Macc and Gutta Boy look at each other then back at the Black Skulls.
Gutta Boy: No problem homie.
Rodd Macc: Yea, no problem.
Rodd Macc hands Gutta Boy a hub cap then they both come forward, hitting The Black Skulls with them. The H-Town Hustlas continue the beat down. Hitting The Black Skulls with the hub caps and then once they are down, stomping away in their Timberlands.
As we fade away, the stomping continues.
"2 of Amerikas Most Wanted" Tupac & Snoop Dogg is heard throught the arena as the H-Town Hustla's make they're way through the curtain and out onto the stage.
Wolf: I am so ready for this tag team matchup, Ace!
Ace: These two men can talk smack, but can they wrestle?
Announcer: Weighing in at combined 507, Hailing from Houston, Texas.... The H-TOWN HUSTLAAAAAAA'S!
They walk down the ramp and slide into the ring underneath the ropes together. Each man takes a turnbuckle and taunts to the crowd.
Wolf: These two men have a uphill battle if you ask me.
Ace: We will see about that!
"Unstoppable" by ES Posthumous hits the PA system.
Announcer: Hailing from Fukuchiyama, Japan and weighing a combined 526 Pounds, THE BLACK SKULLLLLLLLLLLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wolf: After that vicious attack backstage, will The Black Skulls be able to even make it to the ring?!
Ace: I don't know Waylon. So far, they haven't even come out.
Wolf: The H-Town Hustlas may have secured a forfeit.
The H-Town Hustlas just post up on the ropes and wait, talking amongst themselves.
Ace: Some may argue that The Black Skulls brought it upon themselves. the Hustlas where just trying to make a buck.
Wolf: It still is no reason to attack them like they did.
After a couple minutes, the referee calls for the bell and the announcer states that the winners of the match due to forfeit, are The H-Town Hustlas.
Wolf: Well, I guess a win is a win. At least with the newly signed tag teams to Death Row, this wont happen again.
Ace: Unless they beat up their opponents before the matches every week.
Wolf: Shut up.
The Hustlas dap each other and celebrate as the fans begin to boo.
Wolf: The fans unhappy at this, but can you blame them?
Ace: Yes I can Waylon. These are the same people who got mad at cVc when he chose a hot piece of ass over a boring match!
Wolf: You do know the business is built around having matches right?
Ace: That's beside the point.
Ace: It just is.
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead