("Make Yourself" by Incubus plays... No opening... Nothing... Co-VP John
comes walking down to the ring. No announcers are at ringside. The fans
have no clue what is going on. John has a microphone, he is in the ring
Co-VP John - I was gonna come out here... I was gonna talk some shit
about the IWO. I was gonna talk some shit about a lot of guys. I was
gonna make this thing personal... But no.. Thats not me... The big
announcement tonight, is that I'm basically taking a leave of abscence
from booking cards in the IWO. No.. wait... I'm not completely gone... I
have assigned three people the position of Monday Night Meltdown
bookers. They will book the card anyway they want... Although I do have
the final say in the matter. The only thing I will be doing next Monday
is producing the show. So... With that in mind... Lets start the show
off.. And oh yeah.. welcome back Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki to
ringside... They'll be out.. When we come back.
IWO News Update:
World Champion - Michael Dudley
North American Champion - Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid
Extreme Champion - The Raging One
Pacific Champion - Scott Stone
United States Champion - Evan Levine
TV Champion - Falcon
World Tag Team Champions - The Prep Kids
IC Tag Team Champions - Fenix and Sam Potright
The Pay Per View lineup has been rocked by all the new champions. How
will the lineup change? Will we ever find out? Will it change? Will it
even make sense?!?! Find out!!! SOMETIME LATER ON!!!
***BACK TO COMMERCIALS***
GP - Welcome to MONDAY NIGHT MELTDOWN!!! John has informed us that we
can't talk about what he just said.. so...
JT - LETS GET THE MATCHES STARTED!!!
GP: And here we go for this big six man hardcore match!
JT: BLOOD! YES! BLOOD! THIS IS GOING TO ROCK! HOW CAN THERE NOT BE BLOOD
IN THIS THING!?!
GP: Well, we're going to see Apollo against Tyler Johnson against Scott
against Jax Stone against HardCore Isosceles Trapezoid going against
what should be a truly great hardcore match.
Nikki: I've missed calling these things.
GP: Remember, this is NOT elimination. First man to pin ANYONE picks up
JT: Well, what if two guys pin one guy. Who wins?
GP: I don't know.
JT: How about if there are two pins going on at the same time? Who wins
GP: You've got me.
JT: Let's say that you've got two guys having another guy in a hold and
gives up? Which one wins?
GP: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DOUBT IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!
JT: Man. You didn't have to yell.
Nikki: Well, I'm being told that there aren't any introductions! LET'S
THE RING WHERE THE MATCH HAS STARTED!
GP: Apollo has a bat and is working on Fenix with it! HE'S CHOKING THE
OUT OF HIM!
JT: Johnson and HIT both have chairs and are trading shots! WHO'S GOING
Nikki: Stone is trading blows with Stone! Stone throws Stone into the
ropes.......DROP KICK BY STONE!
GP: Apollo goes to the tope rope with the bat....HE JUMPS.....FENIX
OF THE WAY AND THE BAT IS STUCK IN THE RING NOW!
JT: Apollo tries to pull it out......FENIX HITS APOLLO WITH A CHAIN!
IS DOWN AND FENIX COVERS!
JT: Johnson is now down on one knee with HIT nailing him with the
chair....WHAT A SHOT BY HIT! JOHNSON IS DOWN AND HIT IS IN CONTROL!
GP: HIT sets up Johnson....INVERTED BOSTON CRAB!
JT: JOHNSON GETS THE ROPES THOUGH!
Nikki: Stone now grabs Stone by the neck.....CHOKESLAM TO STONE!
JT:......You're an idiot.
GP: Fenix now sets up Apollo.....POWERBOMB! FENIX COVERS!
GP: Fenix now lifts Apollo up...HE THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
JT: We'll be back to them. HIT grabs Johnson by the hair......HIT IS
STRANGLING JOHNSON WITH A CHAIN! HIT WANTS TO WIN THIS THING BAD!
GP: JOHNSON WITH A LOW BLOW TO HIT! HIT GOES DOWN!
Nikki: And what a match we have going with Stone and Stone right now! I
know if Stone has a chance of survival! Stone grabs a chair......SLAMS
RIGHT INTO STONE'S HEAD! STONE IS BUSTED OPEN!
GP: Fenix now pulls out a table....HE SETS UP THE TABLE!
JT: Fenix puts Apollo on the table....Fenix goes to the top rope.....THE
FENIX FLYER (360 Corkscrew Moonsault)!
GP: FENIX COVERS!
GP: FENIX PULLS OUT THE WIN! WHAT A SHOCKER!
JT: I'm not shocked. I had faith in my man Fenix, and he delivered!
GP: Welcome back here to Monday Night Meltdown and I gotta say, it's
be back!! Now our next match is gonna be great, it's between High Flyer
Nikki: Both men on quite the winning streak as of late..let's see what
(The lights go out and Falcon comes out once again to no music...)
JT: Yeah!! This music is kickin!!
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, from Kansas City, Missouri.. he
pounds and stands at 6'0", he is a rookie here to the IWO, he is
("Loco" by Coal Chamber begins to play..)
Ring Announcer: Introducing next, from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, he
pounds and is 6'0", he is the best cruiserweight in the World Today!! He
former IWO United States Champion, he is HIGH FLYER!!
*DING DING DING*
GP: This match is now underway ladies and gentleman!! High Flyer and
start off in a lockup, they break the lockup and High Flyer pushes
saying he poked him in the eye, Falcon spats at him and pushes him back,
Flyer swings at Falcon and nails him with a left hook!!
JT: Holy shit this is turning into a fist fight!! Hey..I would like to
fist on something!!
Nikki: Stick it up your ass!!
GP: HAHA!! Alrighty..Falcon fell to the mat on that one and High Flyer
climbing the top rope, he jumps off...incoming!! High Flyer nails him!!
picks up Falcon and throws him over the top rope, and High Flyer goes
onto the floor, and he brings Falcon back into the ring! And as you
noticeably see, High Flyer is limping, and Falcon is out like a light!!
be very surprised if either man comes out of this match at above
percent condition!! High Flyer now has Falcon hooked for a suplex... but
Falcon slumps to the mat. I don't know how Falcon is going to continue
this one. Flyer now showing concern for Falcon, but he still wants to
this match!! Flyer hooks Falcon for another suplex, but Falcon takes him
into a small package!! Falcon was playing possum!!! 1..2..THR!! NO!!
JT: Flyer reverses it!! 1..2..THR!! NO!! FALCON REVERSES IT!!
Nikki: Folks, remember a few minutes ago who flew off the top rope and
itt!! And now we are seeing the opposite of what happened a few minutes
GP: Falcon back to his feet, and so is the High Flyer!! Falcon drop
left leg of High Flyer, and High Flyer struggles over!! Still limping on
leg, and Falcon kicks the other leg before scooping High Flyer up!! And
slamming him onto the mat!! The rookie Falcon is winning against the 1
veteran in High Flyer!!
JT: Falcon is up and is signaling for the 450 splash... and it could be
over if he hits it!! He isn't a cruiserweight!!
Nikki: Falcon goes up to the top rope, and he's taking his time. I'm not
he wants to do that, but his body can't move as fast as he wants it to
this point. Falcon up onto the top rope. And Falcon flies off!
hits it!!! A pin!! 1..2..THRE! NO! HE WAS SO CLOSE!! OH MY GAWD!!
JT: Woah..that sounded familar..do that again!!
Nikki: OH MY GAWD!!
GP: High Flyer refuses to lose!!!
Nikki: I refuse to watch this anymore! I'm gonna go help Falcon, just
JT: Oh please don't, I could see your underwear at the way your
Nikki: WHAT!?!?! Bastard!! I can't believe you!! Why didn't you tell me
JT: Cause I was enjoying it.
GP: Falcon is now befuddled as to what to do, he brings Falcon to his
and whips him to the ropes. Falcon ducks for a backdrop, but Flyer stops
hooks him for a suplex!! No...he scoops Falcon up, and instead he props
Falcon up on the turnbuckle...he wants to finish him off with his
superplex! He's going for it, and he hits it! But Falcon landed on him
the pin!!! 1..2..THR! NO!! Falcon reverses it!! 1..2..THR!! FLYER'S FOOT
ON THE ROPE!!
JT: Falcon now continues the attack, and I think he's going to end this
He pulls High Flyer up by the little hair that he does have and he hooks
in for the piledriver. If he hits the Steel Claw, it's all over!
Nikki: Falcon has him up in the air, all he has to do is complete the
move, but High Flyer begins to shake his legs free and the shift of
sways into the power of High Flyer!! Flyer escapes from the hold with a
body-drop onto the mat!! And now Flyer grabs Falcon by the hair, puts
a headlock, and there's a running, no..Falcon pushes High Flyer into the
and Falcon goes flying and lands on his...ass!! NO!! I wanna rub it for
GP: Falcon has basically dominated the match thus far. And now Falcon
for High Flyer to get to his feet before charging at him and taking him
down with a lariat! The referee comes out and pleads with the madman to
the action to the ring, but Falcon doesn't want any part of it! Falcon
High Flyer by the hair and whips him into the guardrail, and the
topples right into the crowd!
Nikki: Falcon climbs over the guardrail and look at the sea of humanity
GP: Falcon hooks High Flyer for another suplex? Nope... a brainbuster
in the aisleway!!! Everyone says Falcon almost once killed a man cause
stepped on his foot..
JT: Doubt it. Look at him!!
Nikki: Yeah, he's so damn sexy!!
GP: Falcon now walks up a few steps up on the stairway that leads out to
concession stands, and he dives off and drives a knee right into the
of the fallen High Flyer! Falcon repeats it again!!! And again!!! Falcon
knocked that fans soda out of his hands, and now he picks it up and
some of it onto the head of Flyer!! Falcon brings High Flyer up by the
and begins to take him back to ringside. They step over the guardrail as
Falcon has High Flyer in a headlock!!
JT: And Falcon shoves High Flyer from the side and Falcon hits the
Falcon crashes into the metal of the post with authority!! Falcon now
High Flyer from behind and brings him up to his knees. Falcon goes for a
piledriver, but High Flyer backdrops him out of it and Falcon legs hits
Nikki: High Flyer rolls Falcon into the ring, and now High Flyer removes
top portion of those steps. And as Falcon gets to his feet inside the
High Flyer presses the steps and tosses them over the ropes!
JT: Those steps are deadly man!! This is not good!!
GP: Those steps basically have Falcon pinned in the ring. He's trying to
them off, but I think his right arm may now be injured as a result of
one hundred plus pound steps hitting him with such velocity. Flyer now
up to the top rope, and Falcon musters up the courage to roll the steps
of him. As he does, High Flyer goes for an high flying move a senton
JT: The pin!! 1..2..THR!! NO!!
GP: Falcon kicked out with ease!! It seems as if High Flyer has been
with Falcon so far. But Falcon has something up his sleave. He grabs the
steel steps and drives them into the chest of Falcon!! And now as Falcon
those steps on top of him... High Flyer begins climbing step by step to
top. And now High Flyer strikes a pose as he drives the steps into
Flyer off of the steps now, and he throws Falcon into the ropes...and
becomes tangled in them somehow. Falcon is now grasping for air!! Flyer
laughing at him! Falcon is tangled in those ropes, and those cables with
coating around them are cutting off all of the air supply to the brain!
Nikki: NO!!! STOP PLEASE!!
JT: WOAH! Once again you make those great sounds!!
GP: High Flyer now begins hammering away on Falcon, and the referee is
pleading with him to let Falcon free. But High Flyer hates him so much I
don't think he's listening. High Flyer driving forearm after forearm
damn forearm into Falcon's head...and now he looks over at the steel
and oh my god. Is he thinking what I think he's thinking?
Nikki: I think I'm thinking that Flyer is thinking about driving those
into the head of Falcon. And I think I'm right!
GP: AND HE HITS HIM WITH IT!! AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! GOD DAMNIT!!
Nikki: NO!! STOP PLEASE STOP!! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!
JT: Oh baby.
GP: Falcon is now bleeding from his brain, and High Flyer turns around
just laughing and taunting the crowd..remember, if Falcon wins he fights
Pacific Champion at a later date!! But wait, what's this..Falcon is up,
standing up, he touches his head and notices the blood, and what High
is doing is mocking Falcon, and High Flyer doesn't even know it!! He
on the shoulder, Flyer thinks it's the ref!! HAHA!
JT: IT'S THE REF YOU MORON!!
GP: WOAH!! FALCON WITH A NECKBREAKER ON HIGH FLYER! HE'S GONNA END IT
JT: C'MON HIGH FLYER GET UP!!
GP: He is goin up top for the Steel Claw..AND HE CONNECTS!! IT'S OVER!!
1..2..3!! FALCON IS #1 CONTEDER FOR THE PACIFIC TITLE!! WOW!! WHAT A
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner..FALLLLLLCON!!
(Evan Levine is seen walking in the back. He is attacked by a masked man
and has his head humped. He is rushed to a hospital.)
different announcers... this match was done... but had the same
announcers as last week when in fact we changed this week.. I'm not
going to change them all... So read before you start writing.
Bra and Panties match!!!
Michael Dudley and Caren vs. Billy Larson and Summer
GP: Well fans, main event time! We're going to get to see some
action when we see Michael Dudley and Caren take on Billy Larson and
in a match where the women will be wearing nothing but a bra and
this is against my better judgement, but what do you think about this
JT: YES! THIS IS GOING TO RULE! Michael Dudley is Our Favorite Wrestler
he has hotty hot hot Caren with him wearing only a bra and panties! Not
mention Summer added in there! Can I just call this a three way!?!
GP: NO! THIS ISN'T A THREE WAY!
JT: A man can dream, can't he!?!
Nikki: It's been a while since that happened in a main event!
JT: Well, it's been a long time since this five star, double D announce
called a main event!
GP: Well, I'm going to have to go with Larson pinning Dudley on this
Larson is in good shape, he's hungry, and he wants to prove that he
a shot at Dudley and the IWO world's title that has evaded him for so
JT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. All I want to see is some Summer on
JT: STOP THAT!
Nikki: I'll stop that when YOU stop being a pervert.
JT: Well, I guess I'm going to be slapped for a LONG while. It's going
HARD to deal with, but I'll just have to SWALLOW the pain and deal with
JT: DAMN! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE CAUGHT THAT!
GP: Who wouldn't?
Nikki: Well, I'm siding with Summer on this when. Caren is just a slut.
JT: Oh, you're just mad because she gets a better pop from the male fans
Nikki: SHE DOES NOT! The guys LOVE me!
JT: Be that as it may, Caren is more OVER with the male demographics
Nikki: It....can't be true.
GP: Sorry Nikki, but it is. We had a meeting over what brings in pops
ratings. Caren was higher than you. Actually, her breasts ranked higher
you as a person.
Nikki: Well, anyone can just get a lot of plastic surgery and look good,
it took a lot of work on my part to get my body into the shape it is.
JT: (Chuckling) Yeah. Hard work. (Holds back laughter)
GP: We're sure you did Nikki. The thing is, Caren and her breasts equals
ratings now. Nikki does too, but......
JT: Not AS high.
Nikki: Well, I don't care. I know I'm much better looking than her, and
the guys in the back.
GP: Actually, at that same meeting, we had a vote on hottest girl in the
Nikki: Is that legal?
GP: No, but since when do we follow the law?
Nikki: Oh yeah.
GP: Anyway, it went Caren, Summer, AND THEN Nikki.
JT: Yeah. You just edged out Caren's breasts by about one votes.
JT: HEY! THEY WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME VOTE!
GP: Yeah. He kept saying that he needed nude pictures to decide, and we
eventually just disqualified him from the whole thing.
JT: I'm still telling you that research like that is needed to make a
good vote in these matters.
GP: Whatever JT. Let me just tell you this. John wasn't very happy with
demanding those pictures. Only executives have access to thsoe. EVERYONE
Nikki: Wait. Those guys have nude pictures of all the women in the
GP: OH YEAH! Pictures, video tapes, computer simulations. You name it,
Nikki: How did they get those!?!
GP: You know that blinking red light in the women's locker room?
Nikki: You mean the security camera?
JT: (Chuckling) Yeah. Security camera.
Nikki: Are you saying that ISN'T A security camera!?!
GP: Of course it isn't. It's taping the whole thing and taking the
picture everyone 30 seconds.
Nikki: I'M NEVER GOING IN THAT ROOM AGAIN!
JT: GOD NIKKI! WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT IT WAS A SECURITY CAMERA!?!
Nikki: Well, it made sense. Now, exactly WHERE are all of those
GP: Well, all tapes and pictures are kept in some safe out of state. Not
we know where that is. They do post some of it on an IWO porn site
Nikki: WE HAVE A PORN SITE!?!
JT: DUH! Why do you think I keep saying I've seen the valets naked? I
wouldn't lie about that type of thing.
Nikki: So, anyone can just push a few buttons and see me and the other
GP: OH GOD KNOW!
JT: Yeah. That could NEVER happen.
Nikki: Well, that's good to know.
JT: It's a pay site. You need a credit card to get in. If we just posted
there, some under aged minor could see them.
GP: Well, let's go to the ring!
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. It's now time for the main event!
(The males in the crowd pops. The women kind of clap.)
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, from Malibu Beach, California.....
("Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit starts as Billy Larson and Summer walk
the ring. Billy Larson wears his regular ring attire. Summer wears her
infamous melted down US title bra and thong. The fans pop. The males at
least. The females are reading the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are
JT: YES! YES!
Nikki: Why do you cheer for any woman that is wearing little to no
I SHOULD SLAP YOU!
JT: NO! I'm not cheering for Summer's hot face, breasts, ass, legs, and
assorted body parts. I'm a HUGE old school IWO fan. I'm cheering for the
IWO US title belt that she is wearing.
GP: Well, Summer is looking very good. No wonder Larson is always so
fight. She must keep him in shape.
JT: Oh, she's a "hand full" I bet.
JT: DAMN YOU YOU SLUT!
GP: Well, now we await the champion and his woman.
Ring Announcer: NEXT! From Beverly Hills California....
("Pretty Fly For a White Guy" by The Offspring starts as Michael Dudley
Caren make their way out. Michael is wearing his usual ring attire.
wears a very small, black, silk bath robe. The fans are poping like mad.
arena is shaking.)
JT: TAKE IT OFF CAREN! TAKE IT OFF!
(Caren slowly undoes the robe. The throws the silk belt to some fan in
crowd. There is a fight over it. Caren then takes off the robe to reveal
small, white, diamond studded bra and thong. The cheers just get louder.
Women's rights are pushed back 50 years.)
JT: YES! DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER!
GP: That bra and thong are probably worth more than what I make in one
Nikki: That's just sad.
JT: Well, I hate to break it to you GP, but you're not THAT good.
GP: Thanks a lot JT......Michael and Caren now make their way to the
(A chant of "CAREN'S REAL!" and "SHOW YOUR TITS!" breaks out.)
JT: THIS IS MY KIND OF CROWD!
Nikki: Pigs. All of you, and Caren is just feeding this whole thing.
JT: Hey, she can feed me whatever she wants Nikki!
GP: Well, remember that all participants will wrestle at the same time.
tags. Just an all out fight.
Nikki: Caren and Summer tie up in the ring.....Summer hits a side head
on Caren....Caren lifts up Summer....BACK BODY DROP!
GP: Larson now charges at Dudley.....running clothes line by Larson!
on top of Michael and delivering some hard blows.
JT: When are we going to see Summer on Caren!?!
JT: DAMN IT!
GP: Larson now pulls Michael back up....he throws him out of the ring.
really does have the size advantage here. However, skill and technique
go to Dudley.
JT: BACK TO SUMMER AND CAREN! Caren is now choking Summer! Caren pulls
up....CHOP BY CAREN!
GP: Summer goes down! Caren is now going for the hair of Summer!
JT: CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!
Nikki: STOP BEING A PIG!
GP: Caren now pulls Summer back up again....Caren sets up
JT: CAREN COVERS!
Nikki: SUMMER ISN'T GONE YET!
GP: Let's cut back to Dudley and Larson....LARSON THROWS DUDLEY INTO THE
JT: Larson charges at Michael......MICHAEL THROWS LARSON UP....HE LANDS
THE FIRST ROW! I SMELL A LAW SUIT!
GP: Larson is slowly getting up......Dudley runs back......he
charges.....DUDLEY FRANKENSTIENERS LARSON BACK OVER THE BARRIER!
Nikki: Dudley now pulls up Larson....INVERTED DDT ON THE CONCRETE!
JT: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going back to Summer and
Caren! Summer is now trying to battle back Caren....she punches Caren in
face......another.....SHE GRABS THE BRA! CAREN TRIES TO GET AWAY! I SEE
I SEE TITS! YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
GP: And, it looks like Caren's breasts HAVE been revealed!
Nikki: Can we show that!?!
JT: IT'S CABLE! WE SURE AS HELL CAN!
GP: And Caren and Summer both look like they are in shock right now.
smiles and adjusts her bra back.
(The fans boo.)
Caren: Summer, mine are bigger.
JT: SUMMER DIVES ON CAREN! SUMMER'S ON ON CAREN! YES! I'M IN HEAVEN!
Nikki: KICK THAT WHORE'S ASS SUMMER!
GP: SUMMER IS CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF CAREN! SUMMER GRABS CAREN'S
GP: CAREN TAPS! CAREN TAPS! CAREN TAPS!
Ring Announcer: Your winners, as a result of a submission, Summer and
GP: WOW! CAREN GAVE UP!
Nikki: Well, you have NO idea how much that hold hurts!
JT: Well, it looks like Larson is making his way to the ring. He gets a
and stands next to Summer.
Larson: DUDLEY! I'VE BEATEN YOU AGAIN! GIVE ME THE TITLE SHOT!
(Dudley grabs a mic and pulls Caren out of the ring.)
Michael: As I see it Larson, YOU won NOTHING! SUMMER won the match. Now,
she wants the world's title shot, she can have it, but YOU have proved
NOTHING to me.
Larson: GO TO HELL DUDLEY!
Michael: See you there!
GP: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! LARSON STILL DOESN'T GET THE TITLE SHOT!
JT: Michael's right though! Larson has proved NOTHING tonight!
GP: Fans, we'll see you here next week!
"TED CRUZ IS THE ZODIAC KILLER"
- Kentucky Tarzan