The screen literally flips on, as if a webcam was activated suddenly. That is because it was! In the view, we see "Too Cool" Chris Hopper sitting in a chair at a desk. Chris is in a green polo shirt and looks contemplative.
Hopper: Welcome back to Ice Cold Truth, where the truth comes in straight and just might bruise you up a little.
Hopper: It is about 9 PM on a Monday night and the entire northeast is being pelted by snow, so I had a little time tonight and I wanted to address something that was said by one of my locker room brethren this past week. I always promised that when I did one of these, I wouldn't shy away from tough things to discuss nor refuse to tell the absolute truth. So here it goes...
He takes a deep breath before continuing.
Hopper: I'm going to talk about women.
He makes a strange face like he just shocked himself for saying it.
Hopper: I know, I know. My feelings on the subject are well known and no, it isn't because of the match I am booked to be part of on the next Wrestleshow. It is because of some comments made by a former UTA Champion, Abdul bin Hussain...
Chris pulls a picture of Hussain, printed directly off the official UTA website http://www.wrestleuta.com (bookmark it today!) and holds it up as he looks over at it and speaks.
Hopper: Now I'm not going to allow the man's voice to be heard on "MY" webisode. He doesn't deserve to get more publicity than his picture. But allow me to play the excellent "Robot Repete" of the offending section, performed by my good friend, Robot Pete...
Chris pushes the picture to fill the screen as we hear the "Robot Repete" audio begin to play of the performance of Abdul's rant.
Robot Pete Voice: "A woman should know her place and not strut around like some street harlot that would procreate with anyone in the promotion just to keep her place within the hierarchy. She should be like a great Muslim woman and wear the veil. A burqa-clad woman is a good Muslim woman but would Kush get away with that?"
The audio clip ends and the picture of Abdul bin Hussain is ripped in half and we see a very serious-looking Hopper in the webcam's view.
Hopper: First of all, Abdul....she gets away with it because this is America. Land of the Free, home of the brave, and tolerator of individuals who possibly have the most insane viewpoints on Earth....like you.
He raises an eyebrow.
Hopper: You get to say the dumb things you do because you are in America and we allow you to do so. The Sultan doesn't have to approve your words and you don't have to go through fifty-eight kinds of red tape just to share what is allowed. You find a camera and speak. That is America.
He nods approvingly.
Hopper: I once saw a movie where an actor portraying the President made a great statement. He said, and I quote..."America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours."
Hopper: That is why your spew of hatred was allowed to air and why my truthful take on it will also see the light of day. So what do I think of it?
He chuckles, knowing the world already knows what he will say.
Hopper: It is total bunk.
His eyes go wide, as if to say "you heard me right"
Hopper: Your ideas about women are antiquated and downright dismissive. And while I am not a fan of the intergender world we seem to live in, I also will not go out and say that a woman's place is in the home, cooking, cleaning and bearing children.
His face has a grin, not one of cockiness but one of sincerity as he speaks.
Hopper: This country has seen women go from nurturing the family to nurturing the entire country when we needed them most. They sustained an entire economy while the wars of the world were being fought and today they are even in the forefront of fighting those wars.
He raises that eyebrow again.
Hopper: Abdul, does it bother you that a black woman helped head some of those attacks on your homeland way back when?
He chuckles probably envisioning Hussain getting angry at hearing that.
Hopper: Women are able to do about anything in the world they set their minds to. Are their basic physical differences between men and women? Yes there are. Any biologist can confirm that. Does it disqualify them from being more than cooking, cleaning baby factories?
His face is serious.
Hopper: Absolutely not.
He takes a breath.
Hopper: There are some who have said I tend to be sexist in my views on women in the ring and etc. I respect your view just as I hope you respect mine. However, one cannot say that I am a hater of women. In fact, my son loves to point out on twitter just how many times I have been a lover of them. But to come out and say the things you said about Kush and generally make it about every female is utter garbage.
The grin slowly creeps onto his face again.
Hopper: And the kicker is....
He lets one chuckle out before he speaks.
Hopper: She beat you.
Another pause for a bit of laughter.
Hopper: That has to be the greatest retort ANY of us could have hoped for. You lost, and for a man who worships a religion that states killing others that disagree with you earns you seventy virgins...
He pauses and looks off thinking out loud.
Hopper: With Dynasty around I don't think there are seventy virgins left...but anyway....
He snaps back to his speech.
Hopper: The fact that you came up on the losing end has to burn you up inside. Respect women, my friend. That is the Ice Cold Truth for tonight.
Chris reaches up and the screen suddenly goes black as if the came was turned off....because it was.
"TED CRUZ IS THE ZODIAC KILLER"
- Kentucky Tarzan