ASK A LUCHADOR II
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We open up to find La Flama Blanca sitting out in his hot tub with a cigar in his mouth. He has a big smile on his face.
The sun has completely went down. The lightning bugs are out, lighting up the scene. The bright lights on and cameras are rolling. The show has begun.
La Flama Blanca: I’m baaaaaack! A beautiful night, I’m back again with some more question from you the fans. Before I get started… Today’s show is sponsored by Smith and Forge Hard Cider. Smith and Forge is a traditional cider made strong. Definitely something to check out.
La Flama Blanca’s cigar ash falls into the water of the hot tub. He looks down.
La Flama Blanca: Dios de mierda joder. Got wet ashes on my chest. Mierda. Whatever. First question, GO!
Voice Over: Adam from Salem, Oregon wants to know, “What’s on your TiVo?”
La Flama Blanca: The “L” Word, Lucha Libre, uhhh Maury and Springer. The classics. Next.
Voice Over: Kristin from Selden, New York wants to know , “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the biggest beat nut of them all?”
La Flama Blanca: Probably Perfection. Next.
Voice Over: Juanita from El Paso, Texas wants to know, “When is the UTA coming to Mexico?”
La Flama Blanca: No clue. I’d be lying if I said I’d find out so I won’t. Next.
Voice Over: Jalen from Brooklyn, New York wants to know, “Who wins in a fight, King Kong or Godzilla?”
La Flama Blanca: King Kong ain’t got shit on me. Godzilla was always my favorite.
Flama Blanca swats at the lightning bugs flying in front of his face.
La Flama Blanca: These lightning bugs are pissing me the hell off. Next question voice over guy.
Voice Over: Katie from Branson, Missouri wants to know, “What horror icon would you be?”
La Flama Blanca: That’s actually a good question. Taking the chupacabra out of the equation, I’d be… the Leprechaun. Evil little shit.
Flama Blanca takes a drag from his cigar and blows out several smoke rings. He smiles into the camera.
La Flama Blanca: Like that don’t ya? Well it’s that time of the show for the “Did You Know?” fact of the day. Did you know that Sweden’s official twitter is handled every week by a different citizen? That has disaster written all over it. Back to the questions.
Voice Over: Evgeni from Moscow, Russia wants to know, “Why are there no Russian wrestlers in the UTA?”
La Flama Blanca: They can’t through the steel curtain? I don’t know. Putin hates James Wingate, I think. Next.
Voice Over: Phil from Toronto, Canada wants to know, “Superman or Batman?”
La Flama Blanca: Another great question. I’d be Batman. The money, the toys, the money. He’s got it all. I have always wanted a butler to clean up after me. Next.
Voice Over: Amanda in Salt Lake City, Utah wants to know, “X-Box or Playstation?”
La Flama Blanca: Mormons are allowed to play video games. I did not know that. I’ll go X-Box I guess. I bang women and have a life so I don’t play video games. Except Mario. I always wanted to be a plumber.
Flama Blanca’s phone chirps to signify a text has arrived. He goes over and grabs his phone to check who sent it.
La Flama Blanca: The ladies can’t get enough of your boy. Well, looks like I have to cut this one short. Got a lady coming over for a night cap, if I play my cards right. Thank you to everyone who wrote in. I might be back for another installment. We will have to see.
He waves to the camera.
La Flama Blanca: Adios muchachos. Until next time.