The Second Edtion of The Chance Von Crank Show with Special Guest, The Mental Rapist, SEAN JACKSON! Watch as Jackson and cVc discuss the upcoming WrestleShow!
The Chance Von Crank Show Episode ll
"Here 2 Show Ya..." A voice whispers.
The Shock N Rolla Theme blasts after the countdown hits zero followed by a huge explosion across the screen. The fire cgi fades into a smokey set. The desk has skulls molded across the top with a folding chair out from it and one behind it. Lasers hit all over the set as cVc struts across the set. Garbage bags floating from strings filled with helium litter the set parading as white trash balloons.
"Cocked Back and Fucking Loaded!" he exclaims.
Crank does not even walk towards the desk he just paces back and forth. Chance is wearing a nice italian suit with his mullet wet and "slicked" straight back. A screen drops down behind him. The screen has TCVCS logo across it. The clip of Crank beating FX with a chair begins rolling with no sound. Chance grins slightly never turning to look. He reaches off camera for something. The mangled and blood splattered chair hits the desk as he charges back into view.
cVc: FX is no more. I broke this man... I took everything from him wielding that chair.
Crank points to the mangled chair on the desk behind him. His gaze never leaving the camera.
cVc: This is my show goddamnit and I do what I want. I wipe my ass with scripts, all the greats do. I am the Trailer Park Prodigy and tonight a former UTA Champion will join us. Needless to say put the kids to bed.
Chance begins to pace once more as the camera pans back and forth to follow. He runs a single finger along the chair. A sticky bit of blood sticks to his index finger. He then rubs his thumb and index finger together to get it off before sticking his finger to his lips.
cVc: So that's what the end tastes like. Death... Its cold, calculated and unforgiving. Yeah.. I know he still is breathing somewhere. I took it all FX... Me, cVc. I want you to never forget just who it was that packed your bags for good.
Chance sits back against his desk with 2 of the skulls across it on either side of him. Behind him still is the loop of FX being beaten with a chair on mute.
cVc: Before we get to the Mental Rapist I have a few more things to say. Who the fuck is naming the titles in VCW? Wildfire Champion? Is that real? Bad enough they let that Chance Von Crank wanna be have the big belt and now this?
Chance stands back up shaking his head laughing.
cVc: You call that a real championship, Conrad? Sounds more like a twilight book title. I got a joke for you, Conrad… Drew Stevenson. That guy who just kicked your ass? He was a piece of shit and still is. He got fired for being the loudest faggot on twitter yet… he still beat you? Quit while you’re ahead and go back to Vagina Championship Wrestling. I gotta talk to a real wrestler, these bitch wanna be’s are causing my head to hurt with the garbage they pass off as “good.”
Crank looks at the producer who is signaling that Jackson has arrived.
cVc: My guest has arrived. He is none other than the former UTA Champion and MENTAL RAPIST…. SEAN JACKSOOOOOOOOOOON! This motherfucker is Mean, boy!
v/o: Can you feel it coming, in the air tonight?”
With that, Sean Jackson enters the studio, dressed in slacks and a dress shirt. Walking alongside is the evil Jezebeth Vanessa who is sporting a low cut red dress with a slit running up the leg. With every step, her beautiful toned legs is caught by every eye in the studio. Upon making their way to cVc’s location, the Mental Rapist extends his hand in courtesy.
Jackson: Chance, thanks for having me.
Crank is hesitant at first to shake his hand knowing the violent nature of the man before him. He spits in his hand suddenly however and grasps Jackson’s hand. Jackson shocked at the gesture shakes his hand then wipes his hand off on Crank’s suit sleeve in a disgusted manner.
cVc: Easy Killer, this suit cost Wingate a fortune.
Sean still looking at his hand, shakes it some more before looking up at cVc.
Jackson: Dude, really? Was that even necessary?
cVc: That’s a show of respect in the Trailer Park. The highest form of it.
Still shaking his hand.
Jackson: Chance, this isn’t a trailer park. This is a show starring yours truly, the Mental Rapist Sean Jackson. Where I come from, there is a level of decorum that we use when shaking hands. Even with commoners.
Chance’s eyes widen. He looks at the logo behind him, “The Chance Von Crank Show”
cVc: Hm… They mispelled your name back there. I’ll get someone on that right away. Please have a seat… Will you? Forgive me for my transgressions.
Sean senses the sarcasm, but understands where he is. He takes a seat but keeps his eye on the man called Chance Von Crank. There is one thing that he does well, and that is knowing who he’s dealing with. Which is why he knows all about cVc.
Chance offers the seat behind the desk to Vanessa. He then takes the mangled chair he beat FX with off his desk and attempts to sit in it. The chair wobbles but holds up remarkably. Jackson and cVc are face to face now.
cVc: Jackson… Welcome. I know you are aware of the changes made to WrestleShow... You will enter the Chamber and could very well leave the winner. My question is this… What are you going to do if The Spectre even attempts to hinder that in anyway?
Jackson: That’s a very good question Chance, and I’ll answer it just like this. If The Spectre comes into the Chamber at Wrestleshow 18, then I’ll just have to drill my knee into the back of his purple haired skull, just like I did at Wrestleshow 17. You see Chance, this little feud between The Spectre and myself goes back to last year, and in another organization. He’s cost me, and I’ve cost him. But play time is over, and now I’m out for more than just blood.
cVc: Well you heard it here Thunderdome… errr… Spectre. Jackson… That chamber is where boys go to die and men are made. I recently looked it over and if anyone walks out it will shock the fuck out of me. Perfection released a video earlier this week… He came out strong until midway through he began licking your asshole. Weak. How do you plan on walking out with everyone gunning for you?
Jackson: You’re right Chance, boys do go to die in the Chamber, that’s the nature of the beast. As far as I’m concerned, there is only one true competitor in that Chamber with any chance of walking away unscathed, and that’s me. Now then, yes I did see the video that Perfection cut. Not bad, not bad. But it was nowhere near Sean Jackson calibur. He came out strong until he got to me, and then it finally dawned on him that he stood no chance at al. No one does. The reason being? The Spectre robbed me of the UTA heavyweight title and I’ll destroy anyone who stands in my way of regaining it.
cVc: The only thing perfect about the video was when it was over. Ha… I just hate that Perfection asshole… Ugh. Anyway moving right along here we have a caller calling in, the producer is telling me…
Chance nods to the producer to put the caller through.
cVc: Thanks for calling in Fuck-o, do you have a question for The Mental Rapist?
Noise comes in over the speaker from the caller watching the show too loud.
cVc: Hey asshole… turn your tv down so we can hear you. Is that anyway to treat two future hall of famers? Jesus fucking christ…
Caller: Is this Chance?
cVc: ... Who the fuck do you think it is? You called. I’m gonna try it real slow this time so you can understand… Do… Youuu… Have… A… Question… For… The … Mental … Rapist…?
Caller: You are such a dick.
cVc: Thank you, Go Ahead.
Caller: Jackson… I love the shit you do man, I never miss your show. What are your feelings on the qualifying matches before the Chamber Match? Do you think that’s fair? Those assholes don’t deserve to be in a ring with you!
Crank cuts the call off shaking his head pissed off.
Jackson: Hey, good questions. I’ll answer it like this. There are four pretty good competitors who hope to get that fifth spot in the Chamber. For one of them to even get to the Chamber, they will have to win two matches. All the while, I’ll be in that Chamber, licking my chops. Preparing to once again be the UTA heavyweight champion.
Chance scowls at the answer and leans in close to Jackson.
cVc: One variable I beg you not to forget, Mr. Mental Rapist…
Jackson: Chance, Chance. Don’t get your feelings hurt over a simple answer, to a simple question. I am in no way knocking your capabilities, nor am I knocking the capabilities of the other three competitors that you have to get passed. But Chance, like I said before. I will go through ANY man who attempts to stand in my way. Present company included. BUT, we are here to discuss me, are we not?
Crank relaxes again in the mangled chair but it completely collapses this time. Jackson, Vanessa and the Producer all burst out laughing. Chance jumps back to his feet and points at Vanessa sitting behind his desk.
cVc: The only reason I let your whore sit in my chair was to see if it smelled as good as you claim. You look at me when I am talking to you… I am a new demon and a new monster you have to deal with. Look at me, JACKSON!
At that, Sean takes offense and immediately stands. The air has completely changed as the tension can now be cut with a knife. Vanessa has seen this look before and moves over to calm the situation down. However, Sean holds up his hand in her direction.
Jackson: First off, you stay over there. Secondly, let me clue you in real quickly Chance. You are a small fish in a very large pond, filled with a predator who doesn’t give a damn about any of you bottom feeders. You want my attention Chance, well you got it. You want to end up in the hospital like Dr. Emo, then you keep that tone. But I can promise you one thing, you speak out of turn like that again and I’ll crack your head open. Guaranteed.
cVc: I seen a dude make you look a bitch just using a febreeze can. He tried to make that pussy smell like ocean breeze and you didn’t do shit. Now you listen to me before I completely rain fists down on this delusion you call being better than me. That proverbial pond you speak of now has a shark. You want to crack my head open? You ain’t got the sack motherfucker to even touch The Trailer Park Prodigy. You can eat a dick and that whore can eat mine.
Crank heads towards Vanessa but is cut off my a huge right fist by Jackson. Crank pushes Jackson and they both begin fighting as the producer calls for security. Crank and Jackson fly over the desk as Vanessa scatters out of the way. The two men get back vertical as security rushes in. Jackson swings again as he is grabbed by security just missing with his fist but cutting a gash across Crank’s forehead with his expensive watch band. The feed is cut by the producer as madness ensues.
"I NEED CHEESEBURGERS"
- Kentucky Tarzan