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Ace:  One can only guess. 

We cut to a shot of the entrance, where Cort Vang emerges from behind the curtain and the lights brighten.  He looks out on the crowd uninterested and raises his arms in mockery of the crucifixition. . .  To this the protesters in the arena become outraged, and voice their outrage with shouts of BLASPHEMER and SINNER.

Ace:  Hey these people can’t blame Cort for not knowing the Bible—he can’t read remember!

Wolf:  Yes.  Are we going to go through this again Ace?  We all know he can’t read.  Now drop it.

Ace:  Well geeze you’re no fun.

Cort Vang slowly makes his way down the ramp, not particularly looking at anyone or anything.  The protesters on both sides of him start yelling at him violently.  As Cort reaches the ring he gets hit in the head with a cup full of ice tossed by a protestor.  Cort instantly snaps.

Wolf:  That was not a good idea.  Ladies and gentlemen please keep your trash to yourself!  Do not harm the wrestlers!

Ace:  Especially this guy!  He’s taking off like a rabid pitbull.

Cort charges the barricade and the few yellow shirted security guards in the crowd at each corner of the barricade hold back the fans.  Cort yells over at them, extending his arms in effort to encourage more violence.  Cort and the protesters continue to yell at one another and the ref slides out of the ring and talks to Cort.

Wolf:  Well veteran referee Frank Knox getting involved here. . .  Thank god he’s there, Cort looked like he was about to jump the barricade there.

Ace:  And that would have been all she wrote for four or five of those protestors... until the security gets on Cort and holds him back… yeah four or five, maybe six, easy.

Cort looks at Frank Knox and then at the protesters and changes his mind, and climbs up into the ring.  As he gets in he turns and leans over the top rope and starts to yell at the protesters again but Frank Knox pulls him away to a corner on the opposite side of the ring.

Wolf:  Cort Vang is all riled up, and I don’t think that can be good for Johnny Cox.

Ace:  This being his first match, I think this guy is fucked.  Tim Ross is just fucking with this guy, perhaps seeing if he’s strong enough to survive The Row. 

Wolf:  Well ready or not, Johnny Cox’s time is now.

Boom Bye Bye by Cold World begins to play, the protesters rising yet again with a persistence that seems without fatigue.  The boos rain out through the auditorium, the sound heavy on the ears.  Johnny Cox appears from behind the curtain, looking a tad apprehensive.

Wolf:  I don’t think Johnny Cox knows what he is getting himself into.  He almost looks scared, Ace.

Ace:  No one expected all of these protesters, we’re all a little shaken by them Wolf.  As for the match I have no doubts that The Rat is fighter.  He did survive on the inside, didn’t he?

Johnny screams at the crowd in an effort to get the adrenaline going and charges into the ring, sliding under the ropes.  He jumps up and charges Cort Vang pinning him to the corner.  Frank Knox quickly gets between them and separates the two.

Wolf:  Not yet Johnny!  We haven’t even done the ring announcements yet.

Ace:  Aww come on Frank, let em at it!

Johnny’s music dies down, and the ring announcer gets up into the ring, brushing off his suit.  He looks around at the crowd for a moment, as both wrestlers in the ring look at one another from across the ring.  Johnny makes throat slitting motions and Cort Vang ignores them, kicking his legs and rotating his ankles to help the blood flow.  The ring announcer raises the mic to his lips. . .

Ross:  Wait a minute, just wait a minute.

Ace:  What the hell?

Wolf:  That’s Ross, aint it? 

Ace:  Sure is. . .  But where is he?

Tim Ross appears from behind the curtain, and immediately the protesters rise to let out the loudest boos of the night.  The sight of the man responsible for all this ‘filth’ and ‘degradation’ fills in them their strongest feelings of righteousness, so that as they boo they can believe themselves to be booing even for God.

Ross:  Now just wait a minute. . . Cox. . .  You left before I got to tell you.

We cut to Johnny, who turns to look at Ross with a questioning look on his face.  Cort stands behind him looking at Ross as well, though his look carries more anger and malcontent than anything else.

Ross:  This match is a Prison Rules Match!

The Death Row Faithful let out a pop, and it is quickly contested—nearly swallowed whole—by the boos coming from the protesters.

Wolf:  The fans loving it… the protesters not so much.

Ace:  Ross could say anything out there—offer everyone a free cheeseburger after the show—and these cows would still be mooin’ their hatred all the day long.  It must be boring to hate absolutely everything!

Ross:  Yeah mothafucka, a prison rules match!  So what the hell you looking at me for?!  Get to it!

The bell rings and the ring announcer gets out of the ring, looking disappointed he didn’t get to speak.  Johnny looks around and then immediately pulls a switchblade from his pocket, which he proceeds to unveil with all the vigor of a man well acquainted with weapons that kill.

Wolf:  We’ve got a weapon in the ring!  A weapon in the ring!  Frank get that thing out of there!

Ace:  Is a referee even necessary?  If I were Frank I’d get the hell out of there.  There are no referees in prison!

Johnny charges Cort with the blade raised high over his head, and as he reaches Cort he brings it down, intent to ram the blade between the neck and the shoulder, but Cort raises his arms and grabs Johnny’s wrist.  The two struggle with the blade raised overhead.

Ace:  Yes!  Finally!  Here it comes!  It get to witness a stabbing!

Wolf:  Look out Cort!

Johnny seems to be winning the power struggle, but quickly Cort raises up, overpowering Johnny and knocking him to the mat. 

Wolf:  We’ve got a loose weapon in the ring!

Cort scrambles over to the knife but before he reaches it Johnny Cox grabs Cort by the waist and throws him back.  Cort stumbles back a few steps and Johnny goes for the knife but Cort runs up to him and hooks him around the waist.  He then pulls backward lifting Johnny Cox into the air and slamming him to the mat behind him.

Wolf:  German suplex by Cort Vang!  And now he’s going for the knife!

Cort gets up and goes for the knife but quickly stumbles, Johnny has grabbed onto his ankle.  Cort tries to walk further, but Johnny keeps his hold on Cort Vang and pulls himself toward his knee.  Johnny then opens his mouth demonstratively and bites down on the ankle.

Wolf:  Johnny Cox is biting Cort Vang!

Ace:  Hahahaha.  He’s biting his ankle.  You realize this?

Wolf:  Yeah. . . what’s your point?

Ace:  Haha—he’s a—hahaha—he’s—hahaha—Johnny Cox is an ankle biter!

Cort sells the bite and quickly reaches down and punches Cox in the face, breaking the hold.  Meanwhile, Frank Knox, the referee, quickly reaches down and grabs the knife.  He retracts the blade before putting it in his pocket.

Wolf:  Good work there Frank!  Frank Knox of course an old veteran wrestler.  He’s got more respect for these guys than they have for him—a knife has no place in the wrestling ring!

Ace:  Even in a prison rules match?!

Wolf:  Prison rules—prison rules… what the hell does that mean anyway?  What kind of silly stipulation is that?

Ace:  Prison rules is no rules—except don’t drop the soap!

Johnny quickly scrambles to his feet and charges Cort Vang.  Cort Vang rolls out of the way and as Johnny turns around Cort Vang places a well measured kick against the side of Johnny’s head.  Johnny goes still and falls to the mat, the Death Row Faithful applauding the bump. 

Wolf:  Massive kick from Cort Vang, one, he no doubt learned from all that time spent in Japan as a youngster.

Ace:  Fueled by hate, Wolf.  Fueled by hate. . .

Cort raises his arms for the crowd, and gets a sea of boos from the protesters.  He points out at the guy dressed like Jesus and raises his arms in mockery of the crucifix again.  The protesters throw a collection of debris at him (which Cort ignores) while the guy dressed like Jesus makes like he’s gonna climb the barricade.

Wolf:  Don’t do it Jesus, don’t do it!

Ace:  Yeah man… Think. . . What would… well what would You do?

Johnny Cox slowly gets to his feet, and as he does Cort turns around and makes his way toward The Rat.  Johnny throws a right but Cort blocks it.  Cort grabs Johnny’s hand and wraps it between the top and middle rope.  Johnny tries to pull his arm out but he can’t, and then tries to punch Cort with his free hand but Cort blocks it and ties his free hand in the same fashion he did with the first arm.

Wolf:  Cort Vang has tied Johnny Cox up in the ropes!  And there is no where for him to go!

Ace:  Look at that look on Cort Vang, he’s got him a victim tied up and with no way of defending itself!

Cort looks around at the crowd for a moment with a smile on his face before he reaches up and punches Johnny Cox in the face.

Wolf:  Right by Cort Vang.

Cort reaches up again and punches Johnny in the face once more, and then again, and again, each punch becoming more and more rapid.

Wolf:  Cort Vang wailing on Johnny Cox now and with his hands tied he’s got now way of defending himself!  He’s got to take every punch!

Cort punches him many more countless times before stepping back and measuring up another kick.  Cort pulls through his hips as the foot makes contact with Johnny’s face, and the crowd lets out a gasp/cheer at the loud bump. 

Wolf: Another expert kick from Cort Vang!  If it weren’t for those ropes, Johnny Cox would be on the mat right now.

Ace:  He’s gonna be feeling that one in the morning, that’s for sure Wolf.

Wolf:  Somebody get him an Advil!

Cort unhooks Johnny’s arms and Johnny slumps to the mat.  Cort then drags Johnny into the center of the ring by the foot and covers for the pin.  Frank Knox hits the mat.

Wolf:  1. . .2. . . kick out!  Johnny Cox kicked out of that one!  He may not be the best of fighters but he’s got heart, you’ve got to give him that.

Ace:  Heart?  Wolf this guys so stupid he doesn’t realize he should be down—he doesn’t realize this match should already be over!

Cort gets up and checks Frank Knox for the count and Frank extends two fingers.  Meanwhile Johnny rolls out of the ring and lands flat on the ground outside of the ring.  Cort argues with Frank but Frank shakes his head and extends two fingers.

Wolf:  Cort arguing with Frank Knox now, but that’s not gonna do you any good kid!

Ace:  That’s right, Frank is a former professional wrestler himself and isn’t gonna be pushed around by anybody, not even Cort Vang!

Johnny Cox slowly gets to his feet outside of the ring, using the barricade to keep him from falling over.  Cort throws up his hands in disgust at Frank Knox and then makes his way to the ropes, climbing out of the ring and landing feet first on the outside. 

Wolf:  The One Man Misdemeanor in pursuit of Johnny Cox now.

Cort grabs Johnny by the hair, but Johnny is apparently playing possum, for he quickly reaches up and grabs Cort by the head and slams him into the barricade.  Johnny curses at him and then starts punching him with lefts and rights.

Wolf:  Johnny Cox is alive!  He’s beating Cort now up against the barricade.

Ace:  The little bastard was playing possum the whole time!  He’s a fighter all right, a dirty one.

Johnny then grabs him by the arm and Irish whips him into the barricade on the opposite side of the ring.  The force of the blow sends the metal barricade back a few feet knocking into then fans and a few protesters.  One protester even falls flat on his ass, which creates a chorus of boos from the protesters and a chorus of cheers from the fans.

Wolf:  Watch out fans!  Death Row Wrestling up close and personal!

Ace:  You see that guy fall on his ass?!  There is some justice in the world after all!  Fucking hate mongering prick!

Johnny mistakes the cheers for adoration of his act and stops and gives the crowd a boo only to receive a chorus of boos from both the fans and the protestors.  As Johnny rises up his smile turns to a frown and he curses at the crowd and flips them off.  He then kicks Cort in the gut and hip tosses him to the ground.

Wolf:  Johnny you fool!  Nobody loves you!  Hip toss by Johnny on Cort Vang.

Ace:  So he does know some wrestling.  I figured this guy was just a simple brawler with a tendency to rile on weapons.  What happened to that knife anyway?

Wolf:  It’s tucked safely away in Frank Knox’s pocket, thank God.

Johnny stomps a fallen Cort once, twice, before bringing him to his feet.  Johnny then grabs Cort and Irish whips him again into the barricade.  Cort hooks his arms around the top of the barricade, resting there, wincing from the pain in his back.

Wolf:  Cort Vang again into the barricade.

Ace:  Johnny Cox using the environment to his advantage.  Remember kids, jail bars aint golden gates.

Wolf:  What the hell does that mean?

Ace:  I don’t really know—I heard it in a rap song.

Johnny saunters over to Cort and pushes his head back before reaching back and chopping Cort’s chest.  The crowd woooos with the chop and Cort breaks away from the barricade, grabbing his chest.  Johnny unhooks his belt and wraps it around his fist and then punches Cort square in the head.  The crowd pops as Cort hits the ground outside the ring.

Wolf:  Johnny Cox using his own lethal belt as a weapon now.

Ace:   You've got to be resourceful in the pen.

Johnny laughs as he unwraps the belt and then hooks it around Cort's neck several times before pulling back, choking him.

Wolf:  My God!  Johnny Cox is choking the life out of Cort Vang!

Cort struggles as Johnny pulls back, his arms flailing in the air, his eyes bulging out of his head.  The protesters start up a Jesus Saves chant.

Ace:  It appears these people are trying to send Cort Vang off right, Jesus Saves!

Wolf:  No don't kill him Johnny, we could still use Cort!

Ace:  Cort's breathing has slowed--look he's turning blue!

Cort starts to get up and tries to run off but Johnny keeps his hold on the belt and pulls downward, bringing Cort to the ground.  Johnny then unwraps the leather belt and starts whipping Cort with it, the sound of the leather hitting Cort's exposed back ringing through the arena.  The boos rain out from the Protesters.

Wolf:  Whipping apparently is ok only if it's in The Bible, Ace.

Ace:  What did I say last Lethal Injection?  I don't like to mix my wrestling and religion!

Johnny grabs Cort’s head and slams it into the ring apron before tossing him into the ring.  Johnny then makes his way over to the announcers table and uproots the ring hand and takes his chair.  Johnny then turns and tosses the chair in the ring.

Wolf:  Johnny with a chair now!  What do you think he’s going to do with that?

Ace:  He’s gonna sit in it and take a five minute break—what the fuck do you think he’s going to do with it?

Johnny then slides into the ring and retrieves the chair.  He turns and hits it on the top turnbuckle, waiting for Cort Vang to get to his feet.  As Cort gets to his feet, Johnny charges him, the chair raised over his shoulder at the side of his head.  Johnny then swings the chair but Cort ducks it.  Johnny turns around and as he does Cort spins and kicks the chair, knocking it into Johnny’s face.  The Death Row faithful pop.

Wolf:  Johnny didn’t have that in mind, that’s for sure!

Ace:  A Cort Vang kick is already dangerous enough.  You add a chair in there and if you’ve got the power to stop anybody.

Cort gets up and mocks the crucifixion, the protesters letting out another loud burst of boos.  Cort ignores them and gets to work, grabbing the chair and then turning to wedge it between the top and middle rope. 

Wolf:  That chair become a big part of this match Ace.

Ace:  Chairs, chairs, chairs, you can never get enough chair if you ask me.

Cort goes over to Johnny and brings him to his feet, revealing the blood on Johnny’s face.  It drips down his chin and drops, drops, drops on the mat.

Wolf:  Johnny is busted open!  We’ve got blood!  We’ve got blood!

Ace:  I told you those kicks were dangerous!

The crowd pops at the sight of blood, the protesters getting more rowdy: this thing is so ungodly it spills blood!  The boos start to rain out as the blood comes dripping down the face of Johnny Cox.  Cort then Irish Whips Johnny Cox into the corner with the wedged chair, but Johnny Cox reverses the Irish whip, sending Cort face first into the chair instead.  Johnny falls to his knees exhausted as the crowd lets out a pop.

Wolf:  Johnny reversed it and Cort goes into the chair!  Both men are down now!

Ace:  This Johnny guy might not be so bad after all.

Frank Knox looks around and sees both wrestlers are down on the mat and starts making the count.  1. . . 2. . . . 3. . .

Wolf:  Both men down now after that move.  Johnny is losing a lot of blood, I dunno if he can continue on this way.

Ace:  Wrestling needs a cut man!  If Johnny had a cut man he’d be working on that cut right now, but instead he’s got to contend with all that blood in his eyes.

Wolf:  That’s a good point Ace.  The blood streaming down and distorting the vision of Johnny Cox.

Johnny lays on the mat, a pool of blood slowly forming under is head.  Cort too, lays in the corner sucking air, hardly moving after colliding with the chair.  4. . . . 5. . . . 6. . . . .  Cort Vang is the first to get up and he crawls over to Johnny and goes for the pin.

Wolf:  Near double count out there, but Cort now with the pin!  1. . . 2. . . kick out!  Johnny Cox kicks out!

Ace:  Like any pest, rats can be difficult to kill.

Cort gets up frustrated as the crowd still buzzes after the near pin fall.    Cort grabs Jonny by the hair bringing him to his feet, and as he does he hits Johnny rises with a punch to Cort’s gut, breaking Cort’s clutch on his hair.  Johnny gets to his feet with another punch to the face of Cort, and then Johnny grabs Cort by the head and directs him over to the top rope.  Johnny then lowers Cort’s face onto the rope and runs him across the top rope.

Wolf:  Cort’s face just got up close and personal with the ring ropes there!  Johnny just raked Cort’s eyes across the rope!

Ace:  That’s one way to even the score.  Johnny can’t see, why not blind Cort Vang?

Cort comes off the ropes grabbing his face and rubbing his eyes.  Johnny salutes the crowd before charging Cort and knocking him to the mat with a clothesline.  Johnny taunts Cort and Cort is quickly to his feet.  Johnny charges him again and knocks him again to the mat with a clothesline.

Wolf:  Serious of clotheslines here from Johnny Cox!

Ace:  He’s seeing red, Wolf—quite literally.  He’s pissed off now!

Cort gets up again and Johnny goes for yet another clothesline, but Cort ducks the clothesline and as Johnny turns Cort hits him with a right strike to the face.  Johnny goes still for instant as if he had suddenly lost all control of his muscles and then falls to the mat.  Cort shrugs and goes for the pin again.

Wolf:  Another pin!  1. . . 2. . . NO!  Johnny kicks out.

Ace:  Cort a little surprised after that one.  He had more on that strike than he figured.

Wolf:  You’ve also got to factor that Johnny has been losing blood.  He doesn’t have much left in the tank, that’s for sure.

Ace:  Just enough to kick out, it seems.

Cort gets up, breathing heavily and he looks around the ring.  Finding the chair he grabs it and then climbs to the top rope.

Wolf:  Cort Vang up on the top rope!  He’s also got a chair!  What’s he gonna do?!

Ace:  I don’t think we’ve ever seen this before from Cort Vang, I have no idea, Wolf.

Cort motions for Johnny Cox to get up as the crowd starts to buzz in anticipation of the upcoming move.  Johnny slowly gets to his feet and as he does Cort tosses the chair at him.  Johnny catches the chair and Cort jumps off of the top rope and spears Johnny Cox to the mat.  The crowd pops.

Wolf:  Awesome dangerous move by Cort!

Ace:  He calls that move the Vang Terminator!  What a move!  Listen to these fans!

Cort quickly gets up after the bump and raises his arms.  He then picks up Johnny Cox and hooks him from behind, Johnny’s chin under Cort’s arm.  Cort then lifts him in the air and spins him over his shoulder, bringing Johnny down neck first on his shoulder.

Wolf:  Death is Welcome!  Death is Welcome!

The crowd pops as Cort crawls over the fallen Johnny for the pin.  Knox hits the mat.

Wolf:  We’ve got a pin!  1. . . 2. . . 3!! It’s over!  It’s over!

Ace:  Cort Vang pulls through this match, and unfortunately for Johnny he came up at the wrong end of the stick tonight.

Wolf:  You mean the short end of the stick…

Ace:  Whatever!  He lost!

Cort Vang gets up and Frank Knox raises his arms, signaling he is the official victor as the protesters boo and the bell rings.

Announcer:  Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner by pin fall. . . . Corrrrttttt Vaaaaaang!

The protesters continue to boo as Cort looks down at Johnny, who seems to still be motionless save for the heaving of his chest and rolls out of the ring. 

Wolf:  Cort Vang with the impressive victory.

Ace:  The question is what is he going to do now?  Look out Tombs!  The One Man Misdemeanor is again out on the loose!

Wolf:  We’ll be back with more action fans, right after this. . . 

Not Even One Slice

Wolf: Tommy, tell me if you see what I'm seeing: Tombs locker room?

Ace: Well, there are not too many John Wayne want to be cowboys around here Wolf!

As FJ stands there looking at his newly won DRW Championship, there is a knock on the door.

FJ Tombs: Who is it?

Voice: Papa John's!

FJ Tombs: Papa John's?  I didn't order no god dang pizza!

FJ walks over to the door and opens it.  Some skinny pimpled face teenager stands there in his Papa John's uniform holding what looks to be an Extra Large pizza.

FJ Tombs: I thought you mighta been one of man slicks wanting a piece of Mr. Tombs!  Hold on let me fetch my wallet!

As FJ Tombs turns to get his wallet, the kid steps to the side as Ian Michaels is seen stepping into camera view.  Doing his best to not make any noise he walks into the dressing room behind Tombs.

Ace: Should have figured... I mean, the setup was too easy!

Wolf: I wonder if that is Ian's pizza?

Ace: You're hungry, huh?

Wolf: Yeah, catering was awful, one bite and I could not withstand to eat anymore!

Ian gets right behind him and grabs him by the shoulder and swings him around pushes him back against the wall with his forearm across his chest near his neck.

Ian Michaels: Easy champion, if I wanted to harm you, you would have never seen or heard it coming.  So listen very carefully to what I have to say.

Ian shoves himself off Tombs and looks over the championship.

Ian Michaels: You could say you are fucked, but that would only sum up tonight and Cell Block Four!  If you manage to retain that strap then, I'll take my claim to someone smarter than Ross and get what I deserve.  A shot at you, and that championship.  That victory the week before you won that title, states I have without question earned that right!

FJ Tombs: You know our match was not even close to being fair!  The week before you tried to end my career, and not to mention the distraction I had to deal with!

Ian starts to chuckle over Tombs' comments.  With a deep sigh Ian shakes his head and let a slight giggle slip through his vocal cords.

Ian Michaels: Fair?  Since when did this business justify you to having anything FAIRLY?  It's professional wrestling for christ sakes!  Suck it up like a big boy, and remove that thumb from your mouth!

FJ Tombs looks at him with a pissed off look.

Ian Michaels: Okay, maybe it is a dick then, whatever!  Point being, you wanted the match,  you got the match!  You got pin BY ME after I stomped your face into the canvas for the second straight Lethal Injections!  Last Lethal Injection, I left you alone so you could win the strap.  That was me being nice.  Tonight, I'll leave you be, because CVC is not going too!  You do what you must to retain that strap at Cell Block Four, because after that, I am going to introduce you to the canvas once again with another Hate Crime.  And if you do not have the strap, I'll just have to claim your rematch!  Think about that, CHUMP!

Ian Michaels smirks at FJ Tombs as he exits the locker room, as he sees security looking for him.  He takes off towards an unguarded exit for his car.

Ace: Now we know what Ian wanted tonight Wolf!  He wanted to put FJ on notice, and I am pretty sure he just did!

Wolf: Yeah, but hopefully next week he won't be dodging security, but will be in action!

Skidd Row vs. Seth Stratton

Wolf:  Well before we get to the current champion and the main event, up first we’ve got the man who lost the title last Lethal Injection—Skidd Row.  Tonight he takes on a formidable opponent in Seth Stratton.

Ace:  Skidd Row is gonna be raring to go after that loss to FJ Tombs.  If I were him I would have asked for an immediate rematch.

Wolf:  He’s gonna have to keep his mind on tonight, Ace—and worry about the title later, for Seth Stratton is no slouch.  He hasn’t lost yet!

Ace:  I watched one of Seth’s tennis matches last night on the ESPN Classic, and I gotta say this guy had the skills.

Wolf:  But. . .?

Ace:  But what?  I mean. . . he got into it with the chair umpire a couple of times, and of course then they found out he changed the netting of his racket to some illegal material that made the ball shoot off like a rocket. . .  Took em three sets before they figured that one out.

Wolf:  So he cheated. . .

Ace:  No no, I wouldn’t say that.  He just thought outside of the box. . .

The camera cuts to the entrance, as the intro to Sabotage by The Beastie Boys begins to play.  The Death Row Faithful rise to their feet, the protesters not to be denied however—rising with them and booing along with all the cheers.  Skidd Row then appears from behind the curtain, looking determined and a tad angry after his loss.

Wolf:  Skidd Row not as smiley as usual.

Ace:  Of course, Wolf!  He lost his belt!  It’s his after all!  I mean, I’m not a big fan of Skidd Row—but as you know Tombs is just too much.  He’s too nice!

Wolf:  Tombs won it fair and square, look at the video if you don’t believe me. . .

Skidd does not look around at the crowd, nor does he give his attention to the cameraman, he simply walks his way down the ramp, his hands at his sides clenched into fists.  The protesters wave their signs and boo the former Death Row champ, but he continues his way to the ring, unfazed by all the outside stimuli. 

Wolf:  I think losing the title has woken Skidd Row up!  He’s coming down here tonight ready to kick some you-know-what, Ace.

Ace:  He’s gonna have to be focused on this match with Seth Stratton in the ring.  That guy is a sneaky one.

Skidd Row reaches the ring and hops up on the apron, and only then does his glance around, his face still unchanged.  He grabs the top rope and hops over, landing feet first and going into a little trot to warm up his legs.  Skidd glances at the announcer for a moment, who nearly shits himself due to a perpetual fear of anyone shorter than him, and then Skidd hops up on the turnbuckle and raises his arms in the corner.

Wolf:  Skidd Row as we said coming off that devastating loss to FJ Tombs—but we expect him to come back from this one.  He’s been through diversity before.

Ace:  Skidd Row headed for desolation row, real quick here Wolf.

Skidd Row gets down from the corner as the cheers from The Death Row Faithful die down, and takes off his shirt, tossing it in the corner.  Sabotage begins to die down, giving way to the hateful boos of The One Million Moms.  The Jesus Guy in the first row can be heard screaming ‘I FORGIVE YOU MY SON, TAKE UP THE GOOD BOOK.’

Wolf:  The crowd quiets down—except for that Jesus Guy—and that means that up next we’ve got the best tennis player in wrestling coming up next.

Ace:  The only tennis player in wrestling.

Tattoo by Van Halen begins to play, and the boos start in grand accompaniment.  The camera cuts from the ring to the crowd, showing the many signs proclaiming Death Row Wrestling to be a product of the Devil.  The One Million Moms show their strength, starting up a massive ‘WE’VE GOT JESUS CHANT.’

WE’VE GOT JESUS clap clap clapclapclap WE’VE GOT JESUS clap clap clapclapclap WE’VE GOT JESUS. . .

Wolf:  The One Million Moms doing what they do best, running their mouths.

Ace:  They’ve got Jesus eh?  Well we’ve got Seth Stratton!  He’s better than Jesus!

Wolf:  So much for separation of church and wrestling.

The camera then cuts to the entrance, where the curtains part and Seth Stratton appears wearing a NEVER FORGET t-shirt that depicts the one, the only, Josh Hydreck.  He struts momentarily with the music, as much because he feels its groove as he wishes to make the women in the crowd fall into a sudden creamy bliss.  He raises his arms for an instant, with memories of winning Wimbledon in his head, and then shows off one of his lightening fast backhands. 

WE’VE GOT JESUS clap clap clapclapclap WE’VE GOT JESUS clap clap clapclapclap WE’VE GOT JESUS. . .

Wolf:  Well apparently Seth Stratton took it upon himself to be the ambassador for Death Row Wrestling and actually went and spoke with a few of the One Million Moms, and let’s just say it didn’t end well.

Ace:  The funny part is there aren’t even one million moms in the One Million Moms,  and it didn’t end well because Seth Stratton fucked one of their daughters!

Wolf:  Women love the tennis don’t they?

Ace:  That and omelets. . .

Seth Stratton makes his way down the exact center of the ramp, looking around at all of the One Million Moms with a fake smile on his face.  ‘HELLO LADIES,’ he shouts, and ‘HOWDY THERE BEAUTIFUL,’ though in his head he’s calling them FAT COW and HAIRY LIP.  As he reaches the ring he points once again to his NEVER FORGET shirt and drops to one knee almost as if in prayer.

Wolf:  That Never Forget shirt of course referencing one Josh Hydreck, who died in the ring several Lethal Injections ago in some bizarre in-ring accident.  Quite tasteless if you ask me.

Ace:  Bizarre in-ring accident?!  Tarrasque snapped his neck like a twig!  There was no accident about that. . .

Wolf:  Oh and Hydreck’s family is in the crowd!  My God Seth!  You monster!

The camera cuts to what remains of the Hydreck clan: the sobbing mother, the mascara running down her face since the start of the show, the strong hard backed father far too Guido to ever shed a tear, and Hydreck’s brother and sister, a retard and a slut, respectively.  Seth turns to them and gives a slight nod, wiping away a tear that was never there.

Wolf:  Come on now Seth!  No wonder you were banned from tennis!

Ace:  He’s just showing his respects for one of the greatest wrestlers to ever grace the Death Row ring, Wolf.  Have some class damn it!

Wolf:  Josh Hydreck lasted five minutes in The Row. . .

Ace:  And they were the best five minutes of The Row’s short history. . .

Seth climbs up the steel steps, and walks the apron to the middle of the ropes.  He then steps through and enters the ring, raising his arms momentarily in the air.  He points to his Hydreck shirt and then lowers is head as if to sob, but then quickly raises his head and he’s smiling.

Wolf:  The bastard is smiling!  He’s making a mockery of Josh Hydreck!

Ace:  That guy could have been ‘world champ!’

Wolf:  And now you are too!

Seth then takes off the shirt and uses it to wipe his face and under his arms before kicking it up into the air and out of the ring.  The protesters boo as always, but even louder is the shrill sound of some animal dying—no, it’s the sound of Mrs. Hydreck sobbing at the savage act.  Mr. Hydreck acts like he’s about to jump the barricade and show Seth a thing or two about tarnishing his dead son’s image, but the security dissuade him and he didn’t really want to get into a fight anyway.

Wolf:  Stay back Mr. Hydreck.  It’s not worth it!  It’s not worth it!

Ace:  I can already see the lawsuits, Wolf.

Wolf:  Shhh!  Don’t you ever mention the L-Word around here, Ace!  What are you stupid?!

The boos continue to rain out as Tattoo by Van Halen dies down.  The announcer clears his throat and brings the microphone up to his face.

Announcer:  Ladies and gentlemen, the following matchup is for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit. . .

The Death Row Faithful buzz. .  .

Announcer:  Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at one hundred and ninety pounds, he is Skiddd Rowwwww. . .

The Death Row Faithful let out a pop that is quickly consumed by The One Million Mom’s and their hunger for hatred.  The boos rain out, the signs shaking, the Hydreck’s in the crowd continuing to sob.  Skidd Row lifts himself up using the bottom rope and raises his arms.

Wolf:  Skidd Row getting some love from the Death Row fans.  Or at least I think I hear a few cheers through all those boos.

Ace:  At this point I don’t hear boos anymore.  Those cows are just mooing if you ask me.

Announcer:  And his opponent, from Mill Valley California, weighing in at an alleged two hundred and thirty pounds, he is The Sultan of Sweet, Sethhhhh Stratttoooon!

Seth points to the Hydreck Family in the crowd and then does a quick forearm smash to the air, reminiscent of glory days as a tennis pro.  The boos rain out even louder now, as The Death Row Faithful join the protesters in voicing their disgust.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton may be The Sultan of Sweet, but he’s getting booed like a common criminal.

Ace:  Jealousy Wolf.  These people wish they were half as good at tennis and wrestling that Seth Stratton is.  This guy can do it all.  And from I hear his prowess extends to the bedroom as well.

Wolf:  Who’d you hear that from?

Ace:  The Wendy’s chick.

Wolf:  Who?

Ace:  The Wendy’s chick!

Wolf:  I have no idea who that is. . .

The bell rings, Frank Knox signals the start of the match and we’re underway.  Seth Stratton makes his way around the ring, standing taller than his opponent, Skidd Row.  Skidd Row moves around in the center of the ring, watching Seth as he circles around him.  Seth then throws up his arms, stops dead in his tracks and motions Skidd Row to come at him.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton beckoning the former champion on.  This guy wants to fight!

Ace:  Seth needs to be given some credit for showing up here after the loss of Josh Hydreck.  Seth fighting the emotional pain of the loss of a good friend.

Wolf:  They didn’t even know one another, Ace!  Seth and Josh never spoke one word to one another!

Skidd Row complies and the two lock up near the center of the ring, and Seth quickly reaches up and grabs Skidd’s arm and wrenches his arm with a wrist lock.  Seth then quickly hooks his legs around one of Skidd row’s legs and grabs his head before rolling forward, forcing Skidd row to the mat as well.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton with the side leg scissor take down.

Ace:  Hey that was pretty good for a tennis pro!

Wolf:  That was good for anybody.

Seth keeps the hold on Skidd’s arm and then jumps up, bringing his knee down on Skidd’s arm.

Wolf:  Knee smash from Seth Stratton on Skidd’s arm and Seth is in control early here.

Ace:  Listen to these fans: everybody is booing now!

The boos rain out as Seth Stratton stomps Skidd’s exposed arm, once, twice, three times before bringing him to his feet by his hair.  As Skidd Row gets to his feet he rises with a punch to the gut, the force of which causes Seth to bend over at the waist.  Skidd Row then goes off the ropes for momentum and as he returns he jumps up for the dropkick but Seth Stratton swats it away, sending Skidd to the mat face first.

Wolf:  Skidd Row with the dropkick, but Seth Stratton swatted it out of the way, and Skidd is down.

Ace:  That was a throwback from his tennis career, Wolf—he swatted Skidd Row just like he was back on the courts swatting at them yellow balls!

Seth taunts the crowd and receives a chorus of boos for all his trouble.  He struts around the ring a bit as Skidd Row slowly gets to his feet.  As Skidd gets up on one knee Seth Stratton goes over to him and grabs him by the hair, pulling him up the rest of the way.  Seth keeps his grip on Skidd’s hair and directs him to the corner, slamming him face first into the top turnbuckle.

Wolf:  Turnbuckle smash by Seth Stratton!

Ace:  It’s been all Seth so far, Wolf.  Skidd hasn’t had one bit of offense!

Skidd Row sells the turnbuckle smash, coming off of it grabbing his chin and staggering into the middle of the ring.  Seth Stratton follows from behind and quickly hooks Skidd’s head, bringing him to the mat with him.

Wolf:  Bulldog by Seth Stratton!

Seth then rolls Skidd over and goes for the pin, hooking the leg.  Frank Knox hits the mat and goes for the count.

Wolf:  1. . . kick out!  Skidd Row kicks out quickly after that one.  He’s still got life Ace!

Ace:  Well he’s got to get some offense going or this match won’t last very long—and I fear these One Million Moms are actually here because they want to see some blood.  The damn vultures!  Give em some blood Seth!

Seth Stratton gets up after the attempted pin, and Skidd Row is up just as quickly still grabbing on to his arm.  Seth and Skidd Row circle around one another and quickly lock up.  The two collide with the front lock up, and Skidd Row quickly switches around to a rear lock.  Skidd Row then hooks one of Seth’s legs and lifts Seth up over his shoulder and then kneels down, dropping Seth tailbone first on his knee.

Wolf:  Skidd Row with the atomic drop on Stratton.

Ace:  Woah, that’ll hurt the ole bum.  You ever hurt your tailbone?  What am I thinking, of course you have, you’re bones are already depleting!

Wolf:  I don’t have osteoporosis you bastard!

Ace:  Oh really—then why are you sitting on that inflatable pillow?

Seth sells the atomic drop, bouncing forward grabbing his lower back.  He then turns around and Skidd Row hooks one of Seth’s arm and falls to the mat, pulling him over.


Wolf:  Arm drag by Skidd!  He’s found new life here Ace!

Ace:  The former Death Row champion.  What did you expect?  This kid aint just gonna roll over, not even for the great Seth Stratton!

Seth quickly gets up and Skidd Row again hooks one of his arms and sends him to the mat with yet another arm drag.  Seth gets up again quickly, the crowd buzzing from the quick action and Seth charges Skidd Row, going for the clothesline, but Skidd Row ducks.  Seth then bounces off the ropes and upon returning Skidd Row jumps, twisting so that his back is to Seth and scissor locks Seth around the waist with his legs.  Skidd then rolls forward whilst hooking Seth under the armpits with his legs, taking down to the mat and pinning him to the mat.

Wolf:  Forward Rolling Cradle by Skidd Row into the pin! 

Ace:  Well that’s what Skidd has gotta do here.  He’s gotta use his speed against Seth Stratton, catch him off guard, make him swing and miss—you know the deal!

Frank Knox hits the mat and goes for the count, as the Death Row Faithful buzz, one fan in particular employing a loud fog horn he lets off a few times in rapid succession.

Wolf:  1. . kick out!  Seth Stratton with the quick kick out and both men are on their feet now.

Ace:  Impressive pin by Skidd Row—I’ve never seen him do that before—he working on some moves lately?

Wolf:  You never know Ace.  This kid could be working to get back into the title hunt.

Seth Stratton quickly gets up, as does Skidd and the two stop with bent knees and raised fists, staring at one another as the Death Row Faithful let out a couple of cheers.  The two then start to circle one another once more, and as Skidd goes for the lock up Seth raises a right and pokes Skidd in the eye.

Wolf:  Eye rake by The Sultan of Sweet.

Ace:  The eye rake, a move Seth learned as a tennis pro.

Wolf:  Oh yeah, how’s that?

Ace:  You mean you haven’t seen that video on Youtube of Seth going to shake hands with an opponent at the net after losing an important tennis match?  Instead of shaking hands he eye rakes the guy right then and there!  It’s beautiful!

Wolf:  That’s horrible, Ace.

Seth Stratton then bends Skidd Row downward, grabbing his arm with a hammerlock, while applying a front face lock with his other arm.  Seth then lifts Skidd Row up and over, slamming Skidd Row to the mat on his back.

Wolf:  Impressive uh—what would you call that, Ace?

Ace:  I don’t know a suplex of some kind—oh oh, the official Death Row Wrestling nerds are telling me that was a Facelock Chickenwing Suplex.

Wolf:  For an ex tennis pro, Seth sure knows a lot of moves.

Ace:  He’s a sultan.  What do you want?

The Death Row Faithful pop at the use of the suplex variation, while the One Million Moms continue to boo away, their throats not yet even hoarse (from years on the protesting circuit).  Seth then drags Skidd into the center of the ring and goes for the pin.  Frank Knox hits the mat.

Wolf:  And Seth Stratton with the pin now!  1. .  . 2. . . kick out!  Skidd Row kicks out!  Skidd is down but not out.

Ace:  Skidd—why do you suppose he spells it that way, with two ‘D’s?

Wolf:  I don’t know…

Ace:  Maybe that extra D is to accurately describe the size of his man breasts!

Seth Stratton checks on Knox, who extends two fingers, signaling it was only a two count.  Seth then drops to the mat, applying a scissor leg on Skidd Row’s arm with his legs, falling backward while holding Skidd’s already injured arm.  Seth applies pressure on Skidd’s elbow by hyperextending it across his body.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton with the crucifix arm bar on that already hurt arm of Skidd Row!

Ace:  He’s attacking a body part and immobilizing it!  Skidd will be essentially a one armed man before this match is over, you can count on that much.

Seth wrenches back on the arm, Skidd Row selling by screaming each time Seth hyperextends it.  Frank Knox checks on Skidd, asking him if he would like to submit, but we can see him shaking his head.  Skidd Row reaches out for the ropes, trying to inch closer to it.

Wolf:  Well Skidd is trying to do just that!

Ace:  Yeah,  good luck doing that with the grip Seth Stratton’s got on him.

Skidd finally reaches the ropes, emphatically reaching out and grabbing the bottom rope.  An instant passes and Frank Knox notices and claps his hands once, trying to signal to Seth to break the hold.  Seth keeps wrenching back, and the ref starts to count 1. . .2. . . 3. . .Seth breaks the hold and Frank gives him a stern warning.

Wolf:  Skidd Row makes it to the ropes and Seth breaks the hold after a warning from Frank Knox.

Skidd Row crawls into the corner, grabbing his bad arm.  He then slowly gets up, first to his knees, and then to his feet.  Skidd Row grabs his arm, selling the injury as Seth Stratton charges him and lands on him in the corner.

Wolf:  Body splash by Seth Stratton!

Ace:  That poor kid, Seth has forty pounds on Skidd Row.

Wolf:  Allegedly. . .

Ace:  What?  Seth Stratton weighs two-thirty.  Anyone who says different is just lying! 

Skidd Row comes stumbling out of the corner, and Seth Stratton helps him to the mat by kicking his legs out from under him.  Skidd Row hits his back on the mat with a loud thud.  Seth Stratton turns and leans up against the ropes to laugh at Skidd Row, but instead The One Million Mom’s boo.

Ace:  That was great!  He tripped that punk up!

Wolf:  It wasn’t that great—and The One Million Moms feel the same way. 

Ace:  Oh they don’t like anything—they don’t count!

Seth Stratton makes his way to the fallen Skidd Row and stomps Skidd Row’s arm once before stepping on it with all his weight.  Skidd Row kicks his legs and screams in pain as Seth Stratton steps up onto his shoulder and then steps off. 

Wolf:  All of Seth’s weight coming down on the arm of Skidd Row!

Ace:  The Sultan of Swat is using his brain here tonight ladies and gentlemen.

Wolf:  And very little cheating—

Seth Stratton then stomps Skidd’s arm several more times before grabbing him by the hair and bringing him to his feet.  Seth then quickly gets Skidd Row into a wrist lock, wrenching his arm.  Skidd can be heard screaming from the sudden pain, as Seth continues to wrench on the arm.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton continuing to work the arm of Skidd Row.  Completely unrelenting!

Ace:  Completely genius, Wolf!

Skidd Row slaps his arm and grunts once before reaching up and reversing the wrist lock, putting Seth Stratton into a wrist lock himself.  Skidd Row wrenches on the arm before grabbing Seth Stratton and hooking one of his legs around Seth’s.  Skidd Row then falls backwards, bringing Seth with him to the mat.

Wolf:  Russian leg sweep by Skidd Row!  But has he got anything left?

Ace:  I doubt that Wolf, my man Seth Stratton has been putting the work in.

Both men remain on the mat as the Death Row Faithful start to buzz.  In contention the One Million Mom’s start up the 100th JESUS SAVES chant, as the guy in the front row dressed like Jesus bobs up and down with the chant.


Wolf:  Both men down, and The One Million Moms have taken the opportunity to remind us all that Jesus Saves.

Ace:  We get it already.  These people really need another chant.  I’m getting bored of it.

Wolf:  You and me both, you and me both.

Both men slowly get to their feet, Seth first, stumbling into the corner, followed by Skidd who gets up with the aid of the ropes.  Seth then comes out of the corner as Skidd Row turns and Skidd Row elbows Seth once, twice, three times, before Irish whipping him into the ropes, but Seth reverses the irish whip sending Skidd into the ropes.

Wolf:  Skidd Row into the ropes. . .

As Skidd Row returns off the ropes Seth Stratton goes for the clothesline, but Skidd Row ducks.  As Skidd Row reaches the ropes on the other side of the ring he jumps up onto the middle rope and jumps off, turning and landing on Seth Stratton with a body splash.

Wolf:  What a move by Skidd Row.  Seth Stratton is down!

Ace:  Get em Skidd!  Get em!

Wolf:  What a flip flopper!  You were all for Seth five minutes ago!

Ace:  Well yeah. . . Seth was winning.  I like winners. . .  What’s so wrong with that?

Skidd Row then quickly gets to his feet and turns away from Seth Stratton before jumping up in the air and flipping over him, landing across the abdomen of Seth Stratton.

Wolf:  Standing moonsault by Skidd Row!

Skidd Row stays on top of Seth, hooking the leg, and Frank Knox hits the mat, going for the count.

Wolf:  And we’ve got a pin by Skidd Row!  1. . . 2. . . kick out!  Seth kicks out!

Ace:  I thought Skidd had him with that one.  Completely unexpected.

Frank Knox gets up after the pin and raises his arm to signal the two count to the crowd.  The Death Row Faithful buzz after the near fall.  Skidd Row gets up slowly and makes his way over to the corner.  He climbs up slowly, one foot at a time, and as he reaches the top he turns and leaps off with an elbow drop, but Seth Stratton rolls out of the way and Skidd Row ends up hitting nothing but mat.

Wolf:  Skidd Row went for the high risk move and it didn’t pay off.

Ace:  That’s my boy Seth!  Kick his ass!

Wolf:  There you go again!  You’re incorrigible, Ace! 

The crowd buzzes as both men lay on the mat.  The One Million Moms continue to cut through the cheers with their boos, never tiring of showing their hatred for anything and everything.  Skidd Row rolls on the mat, grabbing his bad arm.

Ace:  What an idiot!  I didn’t even see that!  Did he really just use his bad arm to go for that elbow drop?

Wolf:  He sure did.  But that’s his strong arm, it’s only natural to use it.

Ace:  Even when there’s pain shooting through it?

Seth Stratton gets to his feet first and makes his way over to Skidd Row and stomps him twice before bringing him to his feet.  Seth then Irish whips Skidd Row into the corner.  Skidd Row collides with the turnbuckle with such force that he comes stumbling out of the corner after colliding with it.  Seth Stratton walks up to the stumbling Skidd Row and hooks him around the abdomen before bringing him up over his head and to the mat.

Wolf:  Belly to Belly suplex by Seth Stratton!

Ace:  Did you see the air Skidd Row got on that one?!

Wolf:  And what a sound!  He hit the mat with real force with that one.

Skidd Row quickly gets to his feet and nearly stumbles to his knees, staggering out into the middle of the ring.  Seth Stratton then takes a step back and raises his leg back before bringing it forward and connecting, kicking Skid Row blatantly in the nuts.

Wolf:  There he is!  There he is ladies and gentlemen!  Seth Stratton has finally made an appearance here tonight—he just kicked Skidd Row square in the nuts, and he did it on purpose too!

Ace:  A slight miscalculation Wolf!  He was definitely going to kick him in the gut.  There was no particular malice in that blow! 

Wolf:  Sure sure… you should be a politician’s PR man with the bullshit you spin—pardon my language everyone.

Frank Knox gets into Seth Stratton’s face, reminding him of the no blow rule.  Seth Stratton ignores him and then hooks Skidd Row’s head, before coming down and bringing Skidd Row’s head into the matt.

Wolf:  DDT by Seth Stratton after the low blow!

Ace:  These fans are still buzzing after the last one.  I think even The One Million Moms liked that one!

Wolf:  Of course—the bunch of man haters!

Skidd Row rolls out of the ring after the DDT and lands on the ground outside the ring on his knees.  He breathes heavy from all of the physical exertion, his face a faint pink.  He makes his way over to the barricade and pulls himself up, only to have The One Million Mom’s boo down at him in his face.  Skidd Row repels himself away and falls to the floor again.  Meanwhile Seth Stratton makes his way over to the ropes and climbs through, jumping down to the ground.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton in pursuit of Skidd Row now, and both men are outside of the ring.

Ace:  Careful with all those protesters around, you just never know what they are capable of doing!

Wolf:  That’s for sure—they aren’t afraid to get violent.

Seth Stratton grabs a handful of hair but Skidd Row rises up with a punch to the gut.  The blow gives Skidd enough of an opening to get to his feet, and promptly he places a kick aside the head of Seth Stratton’s head.  The Death Row Faithful pop from the sound of the blow and Seth Stratton staggers back a few steps. 

Wolf:  Well placed kick by Skidd Row.  I thought he had nothing left!

Ace:  Wrong as usual, Wolf!

Skidd Row follows Seth, grabbing his still nagging arm.  As Skidd Row reaches him he punches Seth with his good arm, and then goes for the Irish Whip, but Seth Stratton reverses it, Irish whipping Skidd Row into the barricade instead.  Skidd Row collides with the barricade and the force of the collision sends it back a few feet, knocking into the first row.  The One Million Moms, unfamiliar with such a thing immediately rise up and begin to boo.

A hairy lipped mother in a purple sweater screams furiously as the remnants of whatever it was she was drinking drips down the fat of her face.  She wipes away the liquid and stands up, fuming.

Ace:  Probably the first time that woman ever took a shot in the face.

Wolf:  Aww—Ace—come on now!

The boos continue to rain out, The One Million Mom’s brought to a profound state of hatred.  As the camera zooms in on Seth Stratton and Skidd Row to hide the angry faces of the moms in the crowd, played out nearly a thousand times throughout the arena, the trash starts to fly.

Wolf:  Fans taken to throwing stuff now!  Knock it off! 

Ace:  Those aren’t fans, Wolf… This is the work of The One Million Moms!

Empty popcorn boxes start to enter the picture, dashing through the shot as Skidd Row sells the collision with the barricade.  A cup full of liquid misses its mark, colliding with the ring post in a splash of Coca-Cola.  Seth Stratton grabs Skidd Row to get him away from the rabid fans and slams him face first into the ring steps.  A ripped up program flutters through the air and lands outside of the ring, spilled open with images of Death Row wrestlers.

Wolf:  Knock it off!  We’ve got a match going on you savages!

Ace:  It’s times like this I wish I had a big long cane—I’d bop these fools on their heads, each and every one of them.  How come you don’t have a cane Wolf?  You’re old. . .

Wolf:  Because I don’t need one—

The boos continue to rain down, but the thrown refuse seems to have reduced.  Meanwhile Seth Stratton tosses Skidd Row into the ring, and quickly crawls in, covering Skidd and going for the pin.  Knox hits the mat and goes for the count.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton going for the pin in the midst of all this madness!  1. . .2 . . kick out!  Skidd Row kicks out!

Ace:  It seems The One Million Mom’s didn’t spend much money here today, for they’ve run out of things to throw!

Seth Stratton gets up and checks on Knox, who signals it was only a two count.  After a complaint Seth Stratton gets to his feet and stomps Skidd Row once, twice, three times on the arm.  Seth runs and bounces off the ropes for momentum, and upon returning jumps in the air and comes down with an elbow drop.

Wolf:  Elbow drop by Seth Stratton.

Ace:  This has got to be it!  It’s got to be over!

Seth Stratton goes for the pin, hooking the leg and placing his forearm over the nose of Skidd Row.  Frank Knox goes for the count.

Wolf:  1. . . 2. . kick out!  Skidd Row kicks out!  I thought Seth had him with that one.

Ace:  You’ve got to hand it to Skidd. . . he’s getting his ass kicked out there—but he’s not giving up!

Wolf:  Well that’s certainly one way to put it. . .

Seth Stratton again checks with Knox to confirm the count and again Knox only shows him two fingers.  Expecting a third finger to have been shown Seth hits the mat in frustration and then gets up to stomp on Skidd Row again—this time his stomps seem even more forceful.

Wolf:  Seth Stratton getting frustrated here.

Ace:  Well I would be too.  Skidd Row is like a case of herpes—you think you’ve got him licked, and then before you know it he’s back again.

Seth Stratton grabs Skidd Row by the hair, but even then Skidd Row is slow to get up.  Skidd gets up to one knee, his eyes flicking around, his mouth open sucking in air.  Seth looks down, his hand full of hair and then looks out to the crowd, raising his free arm.  Skidd Row raises an arm and begins to pull on Seth’s tights to help himself get up but Seth quickly lowers his arm and strikes Skidd across the top of the head.

Wolf:  Seth if you have any decency you’ll put this kid away!  As it is he can barely stand!  Come on now!

Ace:  Serve him up something nice Seth!

Skidd Row crumples to the mat after the blow and Seth throws up his arms in disgust.  Seth then turns and makes his way to the corner, where he turns with his back up against one set of ropes, his foot resting on the bottom rope of the other set.  Seth looks around at the crowd with a smile on his face, as he watches Skidd Row trying to get to his feet.

Wolf:  Come on Seth!  Knock this off!  Stop soaking up the limelight!

Ace:  No Wolf—I think he’s surveying the crowd, looking for the next daughter of a One Million Mom to fuck. 

Wolf:  He better not!  We don’t need these freaks following us all over the South!

Skidd Row slowly gets to his feet, and even then he falls backwards and has to hook his arm over the top rope of the ring.  Seth Stratton laughs and raises his arm out to display the effects of his handiwork.  Skidd Row regains his balance and shakes his head in an attempt to clear his head.  Seth Stratton turns to face Skidd Row and loses all his lightheartedness.  He glares at Skidd and makes his way over to him, but as he does Skidd quickly drops and goes for the quick roll up, completely surprising Seth and even Frank Knox, who takes a moment before he hits the mat for the count.

Wolf:  Skidd Row was playing possum!  Quick roll up!

Ace:  No!  It was desperation you fool!  He’s done for!

Wolf:  1 . . .2. . . kick out!  Close but no cigar!

The Death Row Faithful buzz after the near fall.

Wolf:  Skidd almost pulled the win out of his you know where!

Ace:   No one saw that coming, not even me!

Skidd Row stumbles back into the corner as Seth Stratton quickly gets to his feet.  Seth then charges Skidd in the corner, but Skidd, with his arms draped over the top rope, lifts himself up just in time for Seth to get Skidd’s boots in the face.  The blow knocks Seth backward.

Wolf:  Skidd Row doesn’t seem to have much left here, but he’s fighting back in any way he can!

Ace:  He just won’t go down!

Skidd Row then shortens the distance between himself and Seth Stratton, gobbling up space in a small trot.  He then grabs Seth by the arm and tries to Irish whip him into the ropes, but Seth reverses, sending Skidd into the ropes instead.

Wolf:  Reversed Irish whip. . . Skidd into the ropes.

Skidd turns and his back bounces off the ropes, sending him back toward Seth Stratton.

Wolf:  Skidd returns. . .

Seth turns and faces Skidd as he returns, and bends down at the waist as Skidd passes over him.

Wolf:  Leap frog by Skidd. . .

Skidd then bounces off the ropes on the other side and as he returns, Seth lowers at the waist yet again for a back body drop, but Skidd jumps, turning mid air, rolling off of Seth’s back.

Wolf:  Back body drop—no!  Skidd rolls over Seth’s back, landing feet first!

Ace:  Look out Wolf!

Skidd steps back, bending at the knees, and goes for a kick to the head, but Seth Stratton ducks it.  The force of the missed kick sends Skidd Row spinning three-sixty. 

Wolf:  Missed kick by Skidd!

As Skidd Row faces Seth again, Seth spins himself and hits Skidd Row in the gut with a spinning backfist.

Wolf:  Backhand by Seth!  You know what’s next!

Ace:  Oh yeah baby!  Bring it on!

Seth runs off the ropes and turns, his back hitting the ropes so the it sends him back toward Skidd, and as he returns he raises up his elbow and brings it down against the back of Skidd Row, who’s still bent over at the waist from the backhand.

Wolf:  Match Point!  Match Point!

Ace:  Isn’t that a Woody Allen movie?!

Wolf:  Nope!  It’s what Seth calls that vicious elbow!

Skidd Row hits the mat face first, and he lays there motionless.  Seth turns him over with his boot before dropping to his knees and going for the pin.  Frank Knox hits the mat.

Wolf:  The pin!  1. . . 2. . .3!  It’s over it’s over!

The crowd begins to boo as Seth Stratton rises to his knees and raises his arms in triumph.  The bell rings and Frank Knox makes his way to Seth and tries to raise his arm, but Seth rips his arm away.

Wolf:  OCD.

The boos continue to rise out as Seth rises to his feet and goes to the nearest corner, pulling himself up by the top rope.  He raises his arms and the boos continuing.  He brings a hand up to his eyes and moves his head as if he’s looking for someone, and when he spots them, he points to the Hydreck family, and then points to the sky.

Wolf:  He’s making a mockery in light of a recent tragedy!

Ace:  Nope.  He’s just showing his respects to Josh Hydreck.  B.F.F’s.

Wolf:  Yeah, yeah—whatever.  Well there you have it folks.  The former Death Row champion falters after losing the belt, just last Lethal Injection.  I was really hoping for him to come back strong, Ace.

Ace:  Forget about that, let’s go back to Seth Stratton—speaking of Death Row Champions—this guy would make a great one!

Wolf:  You may be on to something there, as much as I hate to admit it.  This guy has yet to have been beat.

Ace:  Give him some real competition.  Please!

Seth climbs out of the ring, but not before looking down at Skidd Row disgusted.

[PART 3]