CONTENT

PEACH'S PREDICTIONS VI

Posted by Webmaster

We appear in the familar scene of Madman's living room, only there is nobody in the camera's shot.

Peach: RUFF!

Peach can be heard before she is seen, running into the scene and jumping around, barking.

Peach: BARK! RUFF! BARK!

Madman Szalinski flies in from the side, leaping through the air and landing on his couch, laid back.

Madman: WOOF MOTHERFUCKER WOOF!

Szalinski throws up devils' horns, sitting up on the couch.

Madman: It's me, Madman Szalinski, live and in full color from The Fire Fields...which seem to look a lot like Parkersburg, West Virginia...but y'all ain't here to see me, are you?

Madman points down at Peach, who is sitting at his feet with tail wagging.

Madman: No....you're here to see the fuzzball, aren't you?

Peach: BARK!

Madman: Then let's get to it, puppy! Pick a color, pick a winner!

Ron Barker vs. Tobias Devereux vs. Perfection

Madman: You have three choices, fuzzball. Who's it gonna be?

Peach: Grrrr.....

Peach growls at the blue bone, but brings it to Madman begrudingly.

Madman: I know, he's a bit too full of himself, huh?

Peach: Ruff...

Peach perks her ears up.

Elvis McDonald vs. La Flama Blanca

Madman: Maybe this choice will be a bit harder. Me personally, I think it's a tough call.

Peach sniffs around at both bones, flipping them around. Finally, she decides on the blue bone, bringing it over.

CBR vs. Log Habben

Peach watches both bones as they are thrown in off-camera.

Madman: Another tough choice, I'd say.

Peach grabs the red bone, almost without thinking.

Madman: Okay, either you want one of these to actually chew on, or you're just taking the piss here. How in the hell are you making better predictions than me?

Peach: BARK!

Peach picks the red bone back up after dropping it to bark.

Abdul bin Hussain vs. Dan Benson

Madman: Pick carefully, fuzzball. One of them's a former UTA champion.

Peach promptly brings Madman the blue bone.

Madman: ...and the other is Peach's choice.

Madman Szalinski vs. Frank Dylan James

Peach immediately whines loudly and runs, trying to burrow into the couch behind Madman (who sits up further.)

Madman: Peach, we've been through this. You AND Ariel. FDJ IS NOT GOING TO KILL ME...

Peach: WHINE! WHINE! WHINE!

Madman: Babe, come get this dog and tell her Daddy is fine, he's going to pull that big bastard around by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin...tell her!

Ariel comes in to scoop Peach up.

Ariel: I'm not lying to the poor thing, honey.

Madman: Well fuck you too. Non believin' asses.

Sean Jackson vs. Abdul Ahad

Madman gets up from the couch, pointing back to the two bones on the floor unmoved since the last match.

Madman: Peach, main event, who's going over?

Peach grabs the red bone, still whining with the bone in her mouth as she follows Madman. He has walked-off camera, and can be heard coughing as he lights a cigarette. Coming back into the camera's view, he waves to the camera with the cigarette in his hand.

Madman: See you next time on Peach's Predictions!

Peach: BARK!


TAGS: