This morning I was made aware of a letter sent from UTA Superstar Mikey Unlikely, to Michael Lorenzo. Through some sources, that I cannot name, I was able to procure a copy of said letter.
- Rumor Man Stan
Dear Mr. Lorenzo.
It is with great pleasure that I write you! I hope you and your family are doing well. How is Mrs. Lorenzo? I’ve never had the honor, but I am absolutely positive that she is gorgeous! Obvs! Amirite?
Now the Hollywood Bruvs know you are a very busy man. Dealing with Jack Hunter’s antics, and that backstabbing World Champion you now have. What a loser! I cannot wait for Eric Dane to crush him. Take his title, and humiliate the man. Just so I can win the All or Nothing match, and take that title right from Dane! YES! Wooooooooooo!
So I will get right to the point. Here at the UTA, you expect excellence out of each and everyone of us. No doubt about it! In return we expect to have the world’s best trainers, medical staff, commentary crew, etc. We have the greatest athletes in the world on this roster! I mean “The Future of the UTA”, current Prodigy Champion, and my best bud, Kendrix and Mikey Money alone make it the greatest, but you get the point. So that being said, we also expect that you provide one other thing… FAIR and UNBIASED officiating.
As you know due to the ratings, in my last Pay-Per-View appearance. I faced off against Will Haynes, in a I Quit Match! Well, Unfortunately that match ended in the most controversial finish, in the history of athletics. Is that an understatement? Probs!
Anyway, after I beat Will Haynes down one side of this arena, and then back again. After I had him desperate to quit. (The man hit a woman with a steel chair for pete’s sake!) “Referee” (and I use that term VERY LOOSELY) Frank Knoxx called the match on account of… some worthless piece of trash at ringside, throwing a towel into the ring, that not only did she NOT carry to ringside, but was given to her by UTA STAFF!
Now I’m not accusing you of being in cahoots with these cowards, quite the contrary! I come to you to see wrongs made right. Mistakes corrected, and such. Now neither myself nor the UTA can afford another gaff like that! gnomesayin?
The Hollywood Bruvs are hereby requesting that “Referee” Frank Knoxx to not only be investigated for the above incident, but am also calling that he be banned from officiating any and all matches including the tag team of Mikey “The World’s Greatest Entertainer” Unlikely and/or “The Future of the UTA!” Kendrix!
I appreciate your attention in this matter and have nothing but the utmost confidence that you will make the right decision.
On behalf of The Hollywood Bruvs,
Future All or Nothing Winner,
Mikey Unlikely (OBVS!)
- Raging Dead