Inside of Webster Hall, showtime arrived and as “Tattooed Bruise” by doubleDrive hit the speakers the second to none highlight reel hit the big screen. The crowd went wild and the cameras began showing them and their homemade signs before centering on Lucia at ringside.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: What’s up motherfuckers? You found us! And we are live and second to none from Webster Hall in New York City!
The crowd gives her a cheap pop at the mention of the venue and city.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: And this card is absolutely LOADED! Top to bottom and side to side we are LOADED with our better than advertised second to none superstars! And some very very hot independent wrestlers will be making their in-ring debuts tonight! Right out of Long Island, Chris Madison answers the challenge of the Suicidal Scumbag Luke Knux. And from the city of angels, Jace DeShea is taking on the champ Megan Dela Vega!
Skillet’s Hero hit the speakers and after a few moments pause, JXD strolled out to the ring, bag slung over his shoulder and a microphone in hand, he made his way down the ramp.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: The fuck is this? Out of MY spotlight asshole!
JXD vaulted over the ropes as he normally did, setting the bag down on the top turnbuckle before he raised the mic up.
JXD: Whoa don’t blow a blood vessel on me just yet, this is going to be a first. Me apologizing to a Sommersby. You remember what happened in Boston, a load of shit happened that wasn’t really my fault…
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: So…why does anyone need an apology if nothing was really your fault? C’mon Donovan, keep it moving, I have a show to introduce.
JXD: Wasn’t my choice to land on the Nacho tent, or my intent to set it on fire, which is what you were most pissed about more than the trashed plane, bail money and the other shit. You and the motherfucking Hardcore Soldiers who made the trip to Boston who are here tonight went hungry
As he mentioned this, on the big screen above the staging we see the scene from two weeks ago in Fenway Park. Grinder and JXD parachuting into Fenway and annihilating the nachos tent in left field.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: So what are you going to do about it JXD?
He flashed a grin, opened up the bag and emptied out a shitload of bags of Nacho’s, launching them into the crowd, before he took the final, bigger bag and threw it onto the announce table
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: OOOOOH! Nachos!!!
As she began to eat, the cameras caught a sign which read: Lucia’s yoga pants have NEVER been to yoga!!! Suddenly, Lucia spit out a mouthful of nachos and if looks could kill JXD would have dropped dead.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: You motherfucker!
He kept the straightest face.
JXD: Oh like you could tell the difference! They look like cardboard at the best of times! Taste like cardboard that’s been fried in oil too.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: You want to fuck with me JXD? Do you really think it’s a good idea to fuck with me?
He paused in thought, pacing the ring in a circle once before he stared Lucia dead in the eyes.
JXD: Cette venant d’une femme qui vient d’un pays où il est acceptable d’être cruel envers les oies et pisser dans la rue.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Wrong answer asshole! Should’ve went with your apology! Now…as I was saying. After Jason Richards and D-Dawg wrestle…and after JXD wrestles Isaac Rox we have ourselves a loser leaves second to none match. JXD…when you get done getting beat up by our Better Than Advertised Champion Isaac Rox, stick around for the Main Event asshole. And don’t forget…LOSER LEAVES SECOND TO NONE!!!
The scene cut to backstage. Heath Sommersby was standing there with two men no one had ever seen before in Second to None. The taller one was dressed impeccably and had a million dollar smile. That was the rumor anyway, he did have a platinum and diamond studded grill in his mouth though. The other guy looked like he might have been homeless. His beard was in worse shape than JXD and Grinder’s were. Combined. He didn’t have a grill. He didn’t even have front teeth.
Sommersby: Alright Simon. You of all people know just how busy I am right now. So what’s up?
The promoter who put the careers of Heath Sommersby, JXD and Megan Dela Vega and countless others on the map spoke.
D. Simon Reynolds: Whitey. I want you to tell Heath what you told me.
Without any hesitation, he spoke right up!
Whitey Trask: I HATE NEW YORK CITY! WHO EVER HEARD OF BEER BEING MORE THAN A BUCK?
Notorious sighed impatiently.
D. Simon Reynolds: No. Not that.
Whitey Trask: But I did tell you that Unc!
D. Simon Reynolds: I know you did Whitey. You’ve told me that about 500 times since we left Miami. Now tell Heath what you told me about that little girl that you saw last week in Boston with Megan and Mark Dela Vega.
Whitey Trask: Miss Trinity’s baby?
D. Simon Reynolds: Tell him that Whitey. Tell Heath that, right now Whitey.
Whitey Trask, the nephew of and bouncer at D. Simon’s club is autistic. Lots of things in life he just does not get. But, he has a memory like no other man alive. He can’t tell you who the president is right now, but he can name off every opponent Sommersby ever faced while working for Notorious and the outcome of each of those matches. And not just Heath. He could do that for everyone who had ever worked for Notorious. And to Simon, that meant a lot. And he knew exactly how to pick Whitey’s fucked up brain to get the most information that he could.
Whitey Trask: Heath. That was Miss Trinity’s baby with Megan in Boston. Why is YOUR baby with her and not Miss Trinity?
Trinity Holmes. Unbelievably, she is Grinder’s twin sister and the mother of Heath Sommersby’s only child: Jasmine Heather Sommersby. But, the child we saw in Boston with Megan is Kirsta Lewis’ child with D. Simon Reynolds. And Whitey, who never forgot anything or anyone could not for the life of him tell Jasmine Sommersby and Randi Reynolds apart. To Whitey, they were the same person. And both girls looked more alike than most twins do. In fact. they both look like what Heath would look like, if he were a ten year old girl.
D. Simon Reynolds: I suppose you know Heath, that’s about all the paternity test I’ll ever need.
Sommersby said nothing. The cameras returned to ringside.
The match bell sounds three times calling for everyone’s attention as “Anyone” by Beautiful Creatures hits and the lights go down.
Chloe Deville: Ladies and gentlemen, the underpaid and oversexed. Bulletproof and always better than advertised Heath Sommersby welcomes you all to Webster Hall for a truly LOADED night of Second to None Wrestling!
Smoke begins filling the stage as we hear the opening of the song. A few riffs of a guitar, then when the drums hit and lyrics kick in louder, Luke Knux comes out from the back in his usual attire. A cigarette hangs from his lips as he continues playing the song. He then stops and hands the guitar off to a stagehand and raises the metal horns. He puts them down and begins down the ramp.
Chloe Deville:”Hailing from Castle Knux in Kent, Washington, weighing in at 190 pounds, he is the Suicidal Scumbag, LUKE KNUXXX!!!”
Luke is now at the end of the ramp as he stops to look around the arena. Knux takes the last hit of the cigarette and then tosses it on the ground and stomps it out. He runs and slides into the ring before hopping up to his feet and leaning over the ropes. He points to his head, fingers like a gun, and fires. He walks backwards and spins around before handing off his entrance gear. He then leans against the corner and waits for the match to begin.
The arena goes black as the sound of static screams over the P.A. system. White snow visually takes over the video screens as the fans buzz in anticipation. “Immortal” by Eve to Adam replaces the static with the echoing lyrics with a light guitar in the background.
Chloe Deville: And his opponent!
The lights cut back on as the hard rock song begins to pick up. Chris Madison walks through the entrance area with his head down. He stops walking as he makes it to the foot of the entrance ramp. He shrugs his shoulders and then throws a few shadow jabs and uppercuts. He stops and tilts his head back, outstretching his arms horizontally with his palms up in the air. Madison lowers his head and gazes into the crowd with his cocky smile. He marches down to the ring banging his head to the music and arrogantly ignores all of the fans attempts to put a hand on the Madman. He hops onto the apron and climbs to the second rope in the nearest corner. He looks out and points to the fans while dragging his other thumb across his throat in a slashing motion as the chorus hits.
Chloe Deville: From Long Island, New York. Madman. Chris Madison!!!
Madison jumps over the top rope and lands in the ring. He pounds his chest and slaps himself in the face before letting out a roar. The referee stepped back and called for the bell to officially start us off. As he did, Knux also pounds his chest and slaps himself in the face then let out a roar of his own!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Now we’ve seen Luke Knux around backstage for quite a while but officially, both of these men make their in ring debuts for Second to None tonight. Madison is signed on for tonight only, Luke Knux is always around until last call.
Madison went right at Knux and took him down with a running STO. Before Knux knew it, Madison had an Anaconda Vice applied. Knux was able to catch the bottom rope with a boot forcing the ref the break the hold. As they moved to their feet, Knux smiled and extended his hand to Madison. As he took it, Knux pulled him in hard and landed a knee to Madison’s gut. Knux then hit Madison with a quick Gutwrench Suplex. Moving to his feet, Knux backed to the ropes, as Madison stood, Knux took him down again with a Running Leaping Frankensteiner! Knux goes for the pin.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…strong kick out by Madison.
Both men moved to their feet and Knux came at Madison with a Spinning Heel Kick but missed. Madison connected with a stiff mule kick to the gut then took a Muay Thai clinch and hammered away with knee strikes.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Oh those strikes will wear you down fast!
Madison released the clinch and as Knux doubled over holding his ribs, Madison took a front facelock and threw a fist into the air getting the attention of the NYC crowd. Madison lifted Knux up for a Vertical Suplex and held him there. The longer Madison held him there the louder the crowd got. After almost thirty seconds Madison hit Knux with a Brainbuster onto his knee!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: But that will wear you down a little bit faster!
Madison didn’t go for the pin, he went for the top rope. He had dropped Knux right where he wanted him and quickly landed a Double Foot Stomp from Top Rope! Madison stuck the landing, standing on top of Knux’s chest with all of his weight. Madison called for the ref. With one foot on the mat and one foot on Knux’s chest still, the referee slid into position to make the count.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…Luke Knux kicks out!
Madison dropped hard to both knees, mounting Knux as he did and unleashing some hard heavy strikes. First, full on punches, then came the elbows. With blood on the mat, Madison took a wrist lock and pulled Knux to his feet. Madison shoved Knux’s arm between his own legs, took the wrist with his other hand and nailed a Wrist clutch exploder suplex! He floated over with a lateral press to pin Knux.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…Knux kicks out!
Immediately, Knux rolled out of the ring. Feeling the momentum on his side, Madison backed into the ropes and took off running and went for a Suicide Dive. Knux side-stepped him and shoved Madison into the guardrail at ringside as he was landing! Knux pulled a chair out of the crowd and dropped it between himself and Madison. With two handfuls of hair he pulled Madison up to quickly hit him with a Sit-out Facebuster onto the chair. Knux pulled him up again and dropped Madison hard with a Spinning Sidewalk Slam down onto that chair! Knux rolled back into the ring demanding that the ref count Madison out.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Don’t give a fuck what they do, as long as they stay outta my bubble.
Madison rolled back in at the last possible second. As he did, Knux went to the top rope and hit Madison with a Moonsault. He pulled Madison up and landed a Turnbuckle Powerbomb!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Knux is looking to go for the Scumbag Salute finisher after that!
And he did, but when Knux took the side headlock, out of sheer instinct Madison hit Knux with a high angle belly to back suplex. As Knux moves back to his feet, Madison again connects with that stiff mule kick. As Knux doubles over, Madison simply planted him with the Canadian Destroyer.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Well I’m not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you..
Madison covers but Knux is able to kick out at the last split second possible. As Knux pulls himself up with the ring ropes Madison connected with a Springboard Shining Wizard that absolutely echoed off of the rafters inside of Webster Hall!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: OMGWTF is Madison about to do now?
Rope hung double underhook backbreaker by Madison who floats over into another pinning combination.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…Knux barely kicks out! Is the rock star running out of gas? Madison looks to be in cruise control!
Argentine backbreaker levels Knux! With Madison still on the attack, he lifts Knux up for a powerbomb. The crowd is on their feet and dozens of iPhones are pointed at the ring when Madison slams Knux down from the powerbomb into the backstabber!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: The Backiotomy by Madison! This could be it! One! Two! THHKNUX KICKS OUT!
Knux rolled over to his knees and Madison took his head to apply what looked to be a guillotine. Madison sprawled, then suddenly popped up to his feet to step over Knux’s outside shoulder with that guillotine like chokehold still applied. Madison cranked back and pulled Knux onto him.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: PERUVIAN NECKTIE!
The ref checked Knux who wasn’t tapping then he checked the shoulders of Madison to see if they were flat on the mat.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Madison has himself pinned! One! Two! OMGWTF?!!?
At two, Madison released the hold, stood and thrust both arms skyward in victory. The crowd didn’t know what to think. Madison began pounding on his chest. The referee checked Luke Knux and immediately called for the bell.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: You’ve got to be shitting me! Luke Knux is out cold?
“Immortal” by Eve to Adam hits the speakers as the ref thrusts Madison’s arm into the air in victory.
Chloe Deville: And here is your winner! Madman. Chris Madison!!!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: What a debut by Madison! He sure lived up to his name of the Human Highlight Reel tonight in New York City!
The curtain separating the ringside entrance way and the backstage area was brushed aside as Chris Madison pushed his way backstage after a war with Luke Knux. Much to his surprise, the resident backstage interviewer, Freya Davidson is standing by with a microphone in hand and camera crew ready to film. She eagerly approaches Madison as he clears the curtain and begins heading towards the designated locker rooms.
Freya DGAF Davidson: Chris do you mind if I could get a few questions in about your first experience in a Second-to-None ring?
Madison: Yeah, shoot…
One of the stage hands approaches and hands Madison a bottle of water after twisting the cap off for him. Madison is also handed a towel which he uses to wipe the sweat from his forehead before draping it over his left shoulder.
Freya DGAG Davidson: That was one hell of a debut you had tonight. How’d it feel to step foot in a 220 wrestling ring?
Madison: It felt great, especially seeing as I got to do it in front of this great crowd here in New York City! This has always been a special place for me to compete. Whether it’s the garden, the Hammerstein Ballroom, or even Webster Hall…NYC wrestling fans don’t disappoint with their passion for this sport of ours.
Freya DGAF Davidson: There’s been so much speculation to why Luke Knux called you out and challenged you to a match in your own backyard. Now that the match is over, was this just a one time thing or can we expect more out of the two of you.
Madison: That’s up to Knux. He swears up and down that Crystal Hoffman was a non factor in this match. He can tell me until he’s blue in the face that I was fresh meat and he wanted make an impression on 220 by quickly squashing a new talent. Regardless, it’s come and gone. The way I see it, we left it all in the ring. The beef, if you even want to call it that is squashed. It’s just good to know there is still a place for that in this industry. I was starting to worry that two men can’t just knuckle up and settle their differences without politics playing a role.
Freya DGAF Davidson: So what’s next for the Madman from New York?
Madison grabbed the part of the towel that dangled against his chest and brought it to his nose before he buried his face in it and violently exhaled through his nose, clearing his nasal cavity.
Madison: To be honest I’m not sure. This deal I had with Sommersby was originally for this one show only. I had approached him and wanted to give Second-to-None fans a performance they’ll leave buzzing about. But I have to tell you, as much as I so desperately wanted to the fans to leave with that feeling, it’s me that’s buzzing.
Madison held his hand out parallel with the floor. It was unsteady and shook from side to side as the camera zoomed in and focused on the trembling.
Madison: These aren’t nerves. This is excitement. I can hardly control myself. As long as he’d have me back, I’d like to give this place a good run. Who knows, maybe win a title or two along the way!
Madison plucked the towel from his shoulder and chugged the refreshing bottled water before leaving the backstage interviewer and her camera crew. As he walked the halls of the iconic Webster Hall stagehands patted him on the back and congratulated him on his performance. Just as you thought the cameras would cut away, Heath Sommersby approached him with his hand extended. The two men shook hands and with a laugh began a very private conversation.
D-Dawg was already in the ring when the sound of a wolf howling through out Webster Hall. The lights went out then begin to flash red, white, and blue as Richards charged from the curtain to the ring. The crowd on hand tonight literally filled the ring with red, white and blue streamers as he made his way down the ramp.
Chloe Deville: This next contest is for one fall! In the ring already, D-Dawg! And his opponent, The American Wolf! Jason Richards!!!
Richards slid under the rope and took D-Dawg’s legs from under him with the charge and began raining down punches.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Richards is taking out some stress from losing the Better Than Advertised Championship two weeks ago to Isaac Rox!
Richard’s pulled D-Dawg up by the ears, raining down a flurry of kicks to the thigh and abdomen, dropping D-Dawg to his knees before ending the flurry with a kick to the head. Richard’s pinned
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2… D-Dawg kicked out.
Richards stayed on the attack, stomping away at the midsection as D-Dawg fought his way to a vertical base, pushing Richard’s back into the ropes, who bounced off and ducked the clothesline attempt from D-Dawg. Richard’s bounced from the opposite ropes and as D-Dawg tried for a second clothesline, Richard’s ducked behind and surged him to the center of the ring before jerking him back with a release Tiger Suplex.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Darius Majors needs to figure out how to slow down Richards!
D-Dawg rolled to the outside, barely staying on his feet as they touched the floor, Richards stepped onto the apron in pursuit and dropped an elbow atop the head of D-Dawg who staggered towards the railing. Richard’s following span him around and caught him with a superkick under the jaw, dropping him into the rail.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: WOW!
Richards took a hold of D-Dawg by the wrist and whipped him back into the ring, Richards rolled after and covered.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2… D-Dawg kicks out.
Richard’s rolled D-Dawg over, pulling him up in the headlock, then with a lot of torque, drove D-Dawg onto the top of his head.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Emerald City Boom!
Richards rolled D-Dawg over as Perry slid into position.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…3!
Richards’ music hit the speakers again as the ref raised him arm in victory!
Chloe Deville: Here is your winner…The American Wolf! Jason Richards!
Backstage, JXD was sitting on a couch in what counted for a locker room, Katana sat on his lap, taping his wrists while lecturing him.
Katana: You really have to push the Anglo-French stuff don’t you? You make a comment in French about how her country abuse Geese and piss in the street… Why didn’t you just make a comment about Agincourt or how they got assraped by the Germans during the Second World War?
DefTek simply shrugged
JXD: German stuff got old when they finished ‘Allo ‘Allo, and how many folk do you know who would have got the Agincourt reference?
Katana had to pause, nodding in agreement.
Katana: But you push the boat out by giving her cardboard nachos, and end up in a match with two other people. You can be a right fucking idiot sometimes!
He took a hold of Katana’s hands.
JXD: You’ve known for the best part of a decade that I’ll run my mouth off quite happily without thinking of the consequences, you could have told me to fuck off that night when I met you. And you know for a fact that you found it hilarious.
Almost immediately, Katana’s stern look vanished, she grinned.
Katana: Alright alright, I’m just hoping you’ll learn something from this if you don’t get thrown out of the company at the end of the night.
JXD: Just remember, no Donovan ever submits to anyone…
Homeless Jazz by letlive hits the speakers as the lights fade to darkness apart from some strobe lights that focus on the curtain.
Chloe Deville: This match is for one fall! Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, Jace DeShea!
DeShea appears from behind the curtain, throwing his arms in the air as he walks towards the ring. He hits his hands with a few of the fans hands in the front row as he does this the whole way around the ring. He walks up the steel steps and half-way along the ring apron. He steps through the ropes and hops onto the nearest corner turnbuckles, throwing his arms up again as the crowd continue to cheer. He drops down and takes off his hoodie, handing it to the ref. As he did, Second to No One by Twiztid simply exploded from the speakers.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Like my Heath said, she’s beaten all of our guys, let’s see what she does with the n00b.
Chloe Deville: And his opponent! This is your 220 WWWorld Champ! The Insatiable Megan Dela Vega!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Get the fuck out of here! I have JUST received word that GRINDER has won again at the March Mayhem Tournament down in Texas. He and Dean Stark advanced tonight. It is now down to 16 men, let’s hope one of the Second to None guys brings home the trophy!
Megan left the belt on the ring apron and rolled inside. As soon as she was on her feet the ref called for the bell. Jace took the center of the ring and offered his hand but Megan booted him in the gut. As he doubled over, she snatched him over backwards with a hairpull takedown. Megan dropped a short elbow right down onto his throat and covered his face with a forearm.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…kick out!
As they moved back to their feet, Megan hit him with a Flying Headscissors takedown. Jace was slung almost out of the ring under the bottom rope. As he stood up on the ring apron, Megan hit him with a Sunset Flip but it looked a lot more like a Powerbomb as he hit the floor at ringside! She pulled him up and ran him face first into the steel steps at ringside before shoving him back into the ring. She however, went up top from the outside.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Megan is out for blood tonight, but what is she up to?
She came off of the the top rope with a spear impaling Jace into the mat. She hooked a leg, again going for the pin.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…DeShea kicks out!
As they moved to their feet, she applied a Hammerlock but Jace reversed it with a Hammerlock of his own. Quickly he hit her with a Hammerlock DDT. Wasting no time, Jace hit her with an Asai Moonsault. DeShea went for the pin.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…Megan kicks out!
As she moved to her feet, DeShea hit her with a well timed Springboard tornado DDT. And again the champ kicked out of a pinning combination. After a Spinning Wheel Kick, Jace went up top and connected with a 450° Splash! He hooked the leg!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…Megan kicks out again!
With an Overhead belly to back Suplex, Jace heaved the champion halfway across the ring. He followed that up with a Floatover Knee-DT and an Enzugiri!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: This is the toughest challenge the champion has faced in 220!
Not going for the pin, Jace lifted her up for a Powerbomb, at the height of it he let go of her and flipped her to land a sick ace crusher!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: TOTAL ELIMINATION!
With a lateral press DeShea covered Dela Vega!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: One! Two! THREE!!!
The ref called for the bell as Homeless jive once again hit the speakers.
Chloe Deville: And here is your winner! Jace! DESHEA!!!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: WOW! Looks like MY Heath was pretty smart to roll the dice on Jace DeShea!
On the big screen we see the cover of this month’s 220 EXPOSED.
Freya DGAF Davidson: What’s up motherfuckers? Now I know that all of you have already read the March edition of 220 EXPOSED! I put Grinder…ON THE SPOT. And I even got Katana Donovan topless! Hit me up on twitter @220exposed and let me know which 220 Superstar that you want to see…ON THE SPOT…next month. And let me know who should get topless!
The match bell sounds three times and the lights fall.
Chloe Deville: This contest is for one fall!
Playing The Saint hits the speakers and our Better Than Advertised Champion wastes no time getting to the ring.
Chloe Deville: Making his way to the ring by way of Seattle Washington, this is your Better Than Advertised Champion The Self-Proclaimed Saint of HATE! ISAAC ROX!
As he rolled into the ring, HERO by Skillet hit the speakers and a piping hot order of nachos appeared on the big screen.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: I’m gonna murder this asshole..
Chloe Deville: And his opponent! He ain’t no bad dream, he’s a nightmare! The definition of technician! JXD!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: With Grinder down in Texas tonight representing Second to None in the March Mayhem 64 man tournament this fight should be nothing like the first encounter between JXD and Isaac Rox.
The ref calls for the bell and steps back out of their way. Rox and JXD collide in the center of the ring with a collar and elbow tie-up. JXD over powers Rox and shoves him back into the far corner. As the referee calls for a clean break, JXD draws blood from Rox with his first strike. JXD connects with a stiff elbow that bloodies Rox’s lip. With an Irish Whip JXD whips sends Rox across the ring into a turnbuckle. Following him in, JXD lands a stiff running Lariat. As Rox turns to face off with JXD he is hit hard with a knife edged chop. JXD shhhhhh’d the crowd, and did it again.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: They just heard that in SOHO!
Rox rakes the eyes of JXD and hits him with a double arm DDT. Rox is up and springs up onto the middle ropes to land a fast diving elbow drop. Quick cover but JXD was kicking out as the ref was sliding into position to make a count. Rox applied a Fujiwara Armbar but too close to the ropes, JXD grabbed the bottom rope with his free arm and when the hold was broken he slid under the bottom rope and out of the ring.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Hold the fuck up!
No one knew quite what to think.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: I saw that Katana.
The screen replayed JXD roll out of the ring. As Katana passed JXD, nothing.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: I saw her pass JXD those brass knuckles! Perry I want her evicted from Webster Hall!
JXD began shouting and complaining that he had the brass knuckles the whole time. That he ALWAYS had them on him. And the replay was shown and no one saw anything. No one, except for allegedly Lucia. The more JXD argued his case, the madder Lucia became.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: I’ll make this easy. She walks away…or I leave my seat and she might not walk away!
Katana took the brass knuckles away from JXD and as she made her way up the ramp, Rox nailed JXD with a Suicide Dive! Rox followed that up with a German Suplex which sent JXD down hard onto the steel steps at ringside. Wasting no time, Rox hit JXD with his patented Curb Stomp! Before Rox could even gloat or move back to the ring, it looked as if JXD was snatched by the leg by someone under the ring. Immediately, JXD popped out from under the ring. Rox was shocked! He knew he had just delivered a devastating Curb Stomp and now JXD had him in a Muay Thai clinch and was hammering away at his ribs with vicious knee strikes. Rox doubled over and JXD lifted him up for a Powerbomb. JXD began to turn, he spun around maybe ten times before Powerbombing Rox down hard onto the steel steps at ringside.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: I don’t know if I like the smell of this.
JXD moved to the far side of the ring. He tore the ring apron aside and looked under the ring.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Go ahead and pull out something JXD. You might not make it to the Main Event..
He reached in farther, finally disappearing under the ring. As he came back out, the smeared blood on his face from the Curb Stomp was evident. He moved like he might be concussed. JXD set up an oversized sixteen foot ladder and began to climb it while holding a trashcan. The NYC crowd began to rise to their feet. JXD hit the top and instead of a SUICIDE NOTE, JXD hit Rox with a frog splash with the trash can flattened between them! The crowd was chanting HOLY SHIT. Rox was still laid out on the steel steps at ringside from the power bomb. JXD pulled him up and rolled him into the ring. As they moved to their feet, JXD took Rox’s head off with the Yakuza Kick.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: FUSION HAMMER!
JXD covered Rox as the ref slid into position to make the count.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2…fucking asshole!
The referee raised JXD’s arm in victory as HERO hit the speakers.
Chloe Deville: Here is your winner! The definition of technician…JXD!!!
Almost immediately, “In Ashes They Shall Reap” By Hatebreed began playing, Tommy Rowan leapt out from the crowd, chair in hand and before JXD realized what was happening, he caught the chair to the back of the skull!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Here we go!
With JXD prone, Rowan began using the edge of the chair and slamming down shot after shot into JXD before throwing it aside, demanding Perry call for the bell as he pinned JXD. Perry dropped into position as the bell rang. Rowan counted with Perry as Stryker ran down the ramp, slid into the ring and broke the count as the hand came down for 3.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: DAMMIT! I had JXD out of here!
Stryker pulled Rowan to his feet as JXD rolled to the ropes, striking away with a chain of European uppercuts, then whipped Rowan across the ring and on the return caught him with a drop toe hold onto the abandoned chair. Stryker quickly rolled Rowan over into the cover.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: …1…2… Rowan kicks out!
Rowan retreats to the outside to regain his breath. Stryker turned to JXD who had begun making his way to his feet using the ropes to pull himself to his feet. Stryker took a hold of DefTek by the head and drove him into the mat with the inverted DDT, going for another cover.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Count faster Perry!
JXD barely rolled the shoulder up as Rowan re-entered the ring, making his way back to his feet, every man watching the other, slowly advancing to the center of the ring. Rowan lashed out first, decking Stryker with a cheapshot, Stryker nailed JXD in the face with a European uppercut, JXD struck Rowan with a forearm strike.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Bullshit..
Rowan kept the circle of strikes going, again hitting Stryker, who struck JXD who struck Rowan. Rowan retaliated as JXD stumbled back, kicking Stryker, who struck Rowan. Rowan and Stryker began exhanging strikes as DefTek dropped back to the ropes, Stryker ducking a Rowan elbow strike and locked in a waist lock, going for a German Suplex. Rowan blocked the attempt, trying to break Stryker’s grip when JXD charged in, grabbed Stryker by the waist and suplexed both of them!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: BULLSHIT!
JXD went for a quick cover on Rowan who’d caught the worst of the impact. Referee count …1…2… and Rowan kicked out. JXD pulled Rowan to his feet and lifted him into the Electric Chair, holding Rowan up and showboating. Stryker dropped the chair in place and then hit a Russian Legsweep on DefTek, dropping the both of them to the mat again!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: OMGWTF?!!?
Stryker pinned JXD, referee counts again ….1…2… and JXD kicks out of the pin. Stryker pulled DefTek to his feet and hauled him into the Firemans Carry, climbing to the middle rope slowly. Rowan was back on his feet and hit Stryker with a low blow before he grabbed a hold of the legs and dropped both Stryker and JXD into the ring with an Electric Chair of his own!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: HOLY SHIT!!!
Rowan pinned Stryker, Perry counted …1…2… and Stryker kicked out. Rowan slapped the mat in frustration before he rolled under the ropes and pulled out a table wrapped in barbed wire. At the same time, JXD rolled out to the floor and crawled back under the ring, disappearing somewhat quickly again as Stryker rolled out, pulling out another chair. Rowan slid the table into the ring and quickly set it up as Stryker re-entered the ring as JXD reappeared on the far side of the ring with a box of light tubes.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: I once heard somewhere that…WE’RE NOT HAVIN FUN TIL SOMEONE DIALS 911!
JXD slid the box into the ring, following it in as he pulled three tubes from it, smashing one over the head of Rowan, then held the other two as Stryker smashed the chair over Rowan’s skull to drop him to the mat. JXD quickly grabbed another tube from the box and smashed it between Stryker’s shoulderblades. With Stryker rolling to the outside in pain, JXD took the broken tube, walking over to Rowan and began to dig the broken end into the forehead to draw blood!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Well. Some asshole did ask for JXD to cover light tubes next in 220 exposed on DefTek’s arsenal…
DefTek raked the broken tube over the forehead, stabbing a few times before the glass broke under the impacts. Picking Rowan up, JXD set him on the table before he climbed to the top rope. Stryker saw the chance as JXD stood up on the top rope, shoving DefTek’s legs out and sending him crashing atop Rowan through the table!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Hardcore. Indy. Sleaze.
Stryker re-entered the ring, JXD sat up slowly and Stryker pounced on his back, wrapping the legs and arms as he latched on the Kirā Klutch. JXD fought it and tried to pick it apart, but DefTek began fading, trying to roll himself to the ropes with Stryker on his back.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Bye bye JXD!!!
With a surge of strength, JXD reached the ropes and grabbed a hold, forcing a ropebreak though Stryker was in no hurry to release the grip, leaving JXD gasping to regain his breath. Stryker picked up one of the broken table pieces, waiting as JXD got to his feet and snapped it in two across DefTek’s head. DefTek staggered as Stryker hit him with The Stryke to drop DefTek once more. Stryker pinned …1…2… And Rowan broke the pin.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE ROWAN!
Rowan grabbed a hold of Stryker and pulled him up, nailing him with a torque filled Tommyhawke, Stryker spun around, but remained on his feet as Tommy cinched in a half nelson, lifted Stryker up and dropped him headfirst.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: THAT WAS FUCKING BRUTAL!
Rowan pinned… …1…2… And JXD barely broke the pin, clubbing away on Rowan with a second win, striking repeatedly with forearms. He pulled Rowan up and began laying down chop after chop, driving Rowan into the corner where he kept up the chops, each strike causing a loud “WOOOO!” from the audience.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: SSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!
JXD continued with the chops, stopping only to shake his hand out, he turned around as Stryker recovered and charged towards him, sidestepping to let Rowan take the impact. JXD grabbed a hold of Stryker and whipped him to the opposite turnbuckle, then sent Rowan after him with a second whip. DefTek charged and nailed the Yakuza Kick, hitting Rowan and then Stryker with the follow through, both men dropped to the mat.
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: Um…no…
JXD rolled both onto their backs, reaching for the chairs and throwing one onto each, before he climbed the turnbuckle again. JXD stood on the top rope and leapt into a backflip, crashing atop Rowan and Stryker with a Shooting Star Press!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: No…
Perry slid into position as JXD hooked a leg of Rowan and Stryker!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: FUCK NO! …1…2…3…FUCK!
Chloe Deville: And here is your winner! JXD!!!
As his music hits, and the ref thrusts JXD’s arm skyward in victory we can see JXD say to Lucia: SEE YOU IN PHILLY!
Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby: FUCK YOU JXD! IF YOU THINK TONIGHT WAS BAD THEN YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL PHILADELPHIA!
As the staredown between JXD and Lucia continued, the show faded to the trusty ole 220 logo.
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead