Perry Davidson: What’s up motherfuckers? You found me.
Second to none referee Perry Davidson is making a vlog on his iPhone. He’ll upload it to his youtube channel and from there it will make it’s way to 220 Wrestling Dot Com.
Perry Davidson: I am here to talk about Second to None Wrestling’s ROX VERSUS RICHARDS 2 event that went down last night in Cleveland. What an amazing show! And believe me when I tell you, you had to see it to believe it. No really, you had to have been there…to be able to actually see it. Shit got fucked up and shit got ruined, now I was there and I saw literally everything just like I always do and I’m not blaming anyone because something like this is never really anyone’s fault.
He paused and took a swallow of his beer.
Perry Davidson: But, you can bet your sweet ass that Lucia Lureaux-Sommersby will be blaming the Donovan clan. There’s no way that she will be ignoring what happened at the conclusion of DefTek’s Second to None debut. But I’ll get to that in a bit. I wanna talk about what Heath Sommersby did to kick off the show. Now this segment would have never even been taped in most promotions, much less used to
Perry lit a blunt.
Perry Davidson: It’s cool. We’re back in DC at the 220 Academy. Shit’s back home and right and tight. I can hit this here, and you all can too. So we start the show off with DefTek. Check this out. I’ve personally known James Donovan for about ten years now. This isn’t my first rodeo. And 220 is not my first wrestling promotion. So, JXD does what he always does, he shows up early and helps out. He showed up early in Cleveland to help Sommersby set-up the ring and touch base with the guy who was once a hated nemesis and who would now be his promoter.
Perry hit the blunt, and the beer.
Perry Davidson: So I showed up next, I say what’s up to JXD and we start setting up the ring. A few minutes later, Sommersby walks in. Now, no big deal but everyone who knows 220, knows that this is always what Jason Richards does. No big deal, he is also the kind of guy to show up early, set up the ring, tear it down and bring it home with you.
Perry paused, the clear his voice with a swallow of beer.
Perry Davidson: Now none if this was any big deal, which was entirely the point of the segment, I think. I did show up stoned. Anyhow, it was just a trip. Sommersby and Richards showing up to set-up the ring, as usual. DefTek is already there, with me, setting up the ring. Not one word was said. No one said a word! No one introduced anyone. No one introduced themselves. Everyone knew exactly what to do and the amount of testosterone in the room had to have been visible on camera. Next thing the viewer knows, the lights are now on the ring with myself, Libby Marcil and Gia Daniels inside.
Perry took a hit off his blunt. He took his time and took another, before he finished his beer.
Perry Davidson: Now if you’re having a slight case of déjà vu here it’s because this event also could’ve been called Daniels versus Marcil 2 also. About a month ago in Baltimore Libby beat Gia by pinfall. Last night in Cleveland, Libby beat her again. This time forcing Gia to tap-out to her Straight-Jacket Choke. As soon as this match ended, the cameras followed Libby backstage. As soon as she had gotten backstage we see that 220 promoter Heath Sommersby is waiting to greet her. Just as their conversation gets started, the Insatiable Megan Dela Vega actually and quite literally stole the camera off of Sommersby.
Perry hit the blunt.
Perry Davidson: Megan has all but been stalking Sommersby since Sway trying to apologize for not making it to FREE. He’s been ignoring her and she knows that is the one thing Sommersby is unwilling to ignore…someone stealing his spotlight. So that’s what she did. She stole the camera that was taping Sommersby and then she cut a very weird promo with Grinder.
Perry popped another beer.
Perry Davidson: Only, that’s the thing. He was acting weird, even for Grinder. He was wearing JXD’s old mask. Now, get this, when Megan showed up, she did her best to out Grinder as Deuce Holmes. So, since he has JXD’s mask he is insisting on being called JXDeuce.
He took a long pull off of his beer.
Perry Davidson: I knew that I hadn’t seen the end of this. And I knew that it would not be ending well.
He killed the beer with that second gulp. Re lit the blunt, hit it a couple times and went on. It was obvious that this was where shit started getting fucked up.
Perry Davidson: So next match…most re-booked match in history. Well in 220 history anyway. So D-Dawg shows up first. Kaine is next and you know they start fighting. They never really finished in Detroit. So they’re beating the hell out of each other by the time DefTek gets to the ring. But he doesn’t just get to the ring. Now, Peabody’s is a small club in a shitty part of Cleveland. DefTek heaved two trashcans full of weapons from the stage to the ring. By the time he made it to the ring, Kaine, D-Dawg and ME were bloody! Yeah, I caught a chain right in the lip when Kaine pulled it back to swing it at D-Dawg. So we’re all bloody by the time JXD hits the ring and you know he tore everything up. Now just when shit was getting good…
He hit the blunt.
Perry Davidson: And like I said, I’ve known JXD for about ten years and way back then his ring intro music was Broken by Seether and Amy Lee. So I didn’t know what the fuck to think when that music actually hit the speakers!
Perry cracked another beer.
Perry Davidson: So yeah, we’re in the middle of a very bloody and violent JXD debut when someone decides to fuck with him. So obviously it’s Grinder and he has JXD’s old mask, blah blah blah. So yeah, next thing I know, JX2 is crashing down through the ceiling of the club with a trash can over his head and obviously he CAN’T hit DefTek to complete the SUICIDE NOTE move so that jack-off lands on me!!!
Perry pulled on the blunt, and the beer.
Perry Davidson: So this gives DefTek the bright idea of going for a SUCIDE NOTE on the downed JX2. So DefTek gets up onto the lighting rig over the ring, goes for the SUCIDE NOTE…and fucking missed GRINDER! I was just getting up and he took me out…again!!!
Perry smashed the empty beer can on his head.
Perry Davidson: Only man to ever get hit with TWO…SUCIDE NOTES in one night! Assholes! So, while we’re all down, D-Dawg hits that move on Kaine and wins the match. I don’t actually remember this particular three count. But yeah, Sommersby definitely told me backstage that Grinder ruined DefTek’s debut so be ready for them to fight at some point during the week here at the 220 Academy in a house show.
Perry started rolling another blunt.
Perry Davidson: Now, once the match was over and Deftek’s realized that he had been fucked by someone besides Mrs. Donovan, absolutely nothing was ok and nothing would be ok…until he destroyed the place. So DefTek started with the cameras and his wife started busting bottles of booze behind the bar. She tore a strip of fabric off the bottom of her top and shoved it down into a bottle threatening to torch the place!
He twisted, then sealed the blunt. Then, Perry dried it a little bit with his lighter.
Perry Davidson: Lucia didn’t c are, she encouraged it. Then the crowd got in on it. It was fucking crazy and wicked violent for like ten minutes. I really thought someone was going to be a pussy and call the cops but Sommersby finally came out and told everyone to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up so that Stryker could defend the WWWorld Championship. Well this worked. No, it was gonna work until that hostile crowd had to wait like ten minutes for Stryker to smoke one last Marlboro red and come out to fight. So Stryker shows and Rowan hits the ring running in from the rear exit door of the venue light he always does. So they’re fighting it out and Megan is nowhere to be seen. And we’ve already seen her, we know she is here and we know she wants to be the champ.
Perry lit blunt and hit the blunt.
Perry Davidson: So Lucia calls her out. Tells her quit wasting time, come fight or get a DQ and go home. So, finally Megan comes out, take one bump and rolls out of the ring acting like she has some career ending injury. Lucia called her out again. Told her get in the ring and fight, and get counted out and get a DQ. Now Stryker and are really going at it in the ring. It’s totally pissing me off to miss their fight by fucking Megan and what she is doing. So she finally gets into the ring, takes one bump and again…you guessed it! Rolls out of the ring with a career ending injury!
You can tell Perry is finally starting to get his buzz right. He popped another beer though, to keep it right.
Perry Davidson: So we’ve missed like ten good minutes of a classic match between Rowan and Stryker because Megan’s ankle hurts. Next thing I know, Rowan seats Stryker on top turnbuckle and climbs right after him. He rocks him with several jabs, then tries to get him into a position for a Superplex. Stryker, however, fights back with punches to the gut and then stiff headbutts. Rowan falls backwards from the turnbuckles, flat on his back and Stryker dives off the buckles with a Diving Headbutt!!! After emerging from underneath the ring Megan comes out with barbed wire and light tubes in her hands. She has a sick evil smile on her face as she slides back into the ring and stands right behind Tommy Rowan. As he turns around Megan slams two light tubes into his face, she takes the wire, while Rowan is trying to get his vision back and she wraps the wire across his head, pulling on it as tight as she can. She lets go of the wire and knees him hard between the legs before kicking out both his knees with a super kick! Then…
He sipped on his beer.
Perry Davidson: Crazy bitch grabbed the sledgehammer. Hit Stryker in the nuts and jammed it into his throat with a Russian legsweep. Her plan worked, Megan hung back til Stryker and Rowan beat each other up. When they were down, she got up and got hardcore. Megan rolled Stryker into the ring, hit the money shot and demanded that Lucia bring her the belt.
He raised his beer to her.
Perry Davidson: New WWWorld Champion, you heard it here first. Megan Dela Vega pinned Stryker and is the Second to None WWWorld Champion.
He hit his blunt.
Perry Davidson: I have some really good news. By now, I had gotten to my phone and was able to actually get some video of our main event. Check this shit out everybody.
He fucked with his phone for a second, then we were able to see some half way decent video he had shot while reffing the main event.
The wolf howls and the match bell sounds three times as Clutch by Barrie Gleddon hits the speakers.
Chloe Deville: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your main event of the evening and will decide the Better Than Advertised Championship!
The lights then begin to flash red, white, and blue as Richards appears from behind the curtain.
Chloe Deville: Introducing first, the challenger! From Seattle, Washington. Weighing in tonight at 208lbs, he is the American Wolf Jason Richards!
He looks out over the crowd pumping them up as he makes his way to the ring holding his hand out. The crowd slaps it as he makes his way around the ring stopping at the corner he stands on a chair once again hyping up the crowd. He jumps up on the apron stepping through the ropes he begins stretching in the corner waiting for his opponent. He would not wait long. Immediately, Playing The Saint begins to play! The lights all fall dark and begin to flash around the stage. The lights flash, but we can see someone walk out onto the stage. Once the intro rift ends the lights fades up to see a smug and rough looking young man. He’s wearing a jet black leather jacket with ripped jeans. The belt is around his waist. He smirks as he slowly pulls down his hood to reveal his piercing eyes. A very uneasy feeling washes through the arena as he begins to walk down towards the ramp.
Chloe Deville: Also, from Seattle, Washington, Weighing in at 218 pounds, He is the Second to None “Saint of Hate” and current Better Than Advertised Champion! Isaac Rox!!!
Isaac Rox walks down the ramp his eyes staring holes through the crowd watching him. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he approaches the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. He lays there for a moment before getting to his feet and taking off his jacket. He walks over to the ref and hands him his Championship Belt. The ref holds it up over his head to symbolize that the title is on the line, and then he calls for the bell.
Richards leans in towards the center of the ring extending a hand to Rox. The Champ laughs at him and mocks him to the crowd. Finally, Rox doesn’t leave Richards hanging. Rox accepts the handshake to a small pop from the crowd.
Vigorously Rox shakes Richards’ hand, refusing the release the grip. Rox laughs, still shaking the hand of Jason Richards. Finally, Rox lands a boot to the gut and quickly hits Richards with a double arm DDT!
As Rox makes his way up to his feet, he sees that Jason Richards has made it back up to his feet even quicker which ignited the crowd. Richards caught Rox as he stood and nailed him with a Saito Suplex! Rox moves quickly to his feet and again Richards catches him, this time with an Exploder Suplex! The third time, Richards gave Rox no time to react, he caught Rox around the waist before he was up, then helped him up and nailed a sick release German Suplex!
Lucia: Richards just nailed a hat trick of Suplexes on the Better Than Advertised Champion Isaac Rox!
Wasting no time, Jason Richards springs up onto the top rope. He leaps, going for a diving headbutt and at the last possible second Rox gets a boot up and catches Richards right on the point of the chin on his way down!
Again, Richards is the first man up to his feet! He holds is chin, trying to walk it off but he is obviously staggered. Rox sees his opening and from behind applies a Cobra Clutch. Then with a practiced ease, Rox hit Richards with a Cobra Clutch Legsweep. As they hit the mat, Rox released the Cobra Clutch, hooking the leg for a pin attempt.
Both men moved to their feet, Rox applied a front facelock, but Richards countered it with a Northern Lights Suplex. Richards hit the ropes running and again took Rox down as he stood with a Running Lariat. Catching Rox from behind as he stood, Richards sent Rox out of the ring and over the top rope with a release Tiger Suplex!
Richards quickly sprung up onto the top rope and just as quickly hit Rox with a Frog Splash to the outside! The crowd went wild!
Richards pulled Rox up and with an Irish Whip slammed him shoulder first into the steel steps at ringside. With the ref counting them out from inside of the ring, and the steel steps now out in the middle of the aisle around the ring, Richards takes Rox into a side headlock and turns them away from the steel steps. Richards keeps the headlock with his left, hooks Rox’s right leg with his right hand and lifts Rox to slam him back into the steel steps at ringside!
Lucia: J. R. Driver II !!!
Richards rolled back into the ring just in time to break up the referee’s ten count.
Lucia: There’s no way I would ever let Jason Richards have me n a side headlock! Not with moves like that J. R. Driver II and of course the Emerald City Boom.
Richards rolled right back outside. He grabbed Rox and rolled him back into the ring quickly following. Richards pulled Rox up to his feet, but Rox raked the eyes of Richards. Rox then headbutted Richards and with a handful of hair ran him head first into the nearest turnbuckle. Rox went to do it again but Richards blocked it then landed an elbow to the gut of Isaac Rox. He landed a second elbow to the gut and his third connected with the jaw of Isaac Rox. Richards spun around toward Rox and landed a stiff cross elbow strike as he did. Rox was rocked! He backwards a couple steps and Richards followed him with a vicious Busaiku Knee Kick!
Lucia: Emerald Flash!
Richards immediately went for the pinfall.
Lucia: …1…2…The champion kicks out!
Richards pulled Rox up with a wristlock and slammed him into the far corner with an Irish Whip. As soon as Rox connected with the turnbuckles, it seemed Richards was connecting with a Running Corner Forearm Smash! Richards followed that up with an insane combination of shin kicks to the solar plexus of Isaac Rox. Richards scooped Rox and lifted him into a seated position on the top rope. Richards hopped up onto the middle ropes and nailed Rox with three hard forearm shots to the jaw.
Lucia: How will this end?
Richards then went up top. As he did, he hooked in under Rox’s arms, lifting his opponent as he stood. With no hesitation, Richards nailed Rox with a top rope overhead belly to belly suplex!
Lucia: This is awesome!
The crowd echoed her with a THIS IS AWESOME chant, clapping as they did. As this was occurring in the overpacked dive bar, Richards again went for a pinfall.
Lucia: The champion is covered! …1…2…3!
Immediately…the bell sounded and the wolf howled as once more, CLUTCH hit the speakers and the crowd went wild!
Chloe Deville: Here is your winner…and BETTER THAN ADVERTISED CHAMPION…THE AMERICAN WOLF…JASON…RICHARDS!!!
The footage stopped.
Perry Davidson: I raised his hand, gave him the belt and he celebrated on a turnbuckle.
Again, Perry raised his beer.
Perry Davidson: Congratulations JR. New Better Than Advertised Champ. So yeah, that’s what happened in Cleveland. You motherfuckers play nice, and let’s hope we never have to do it like this again. Later.
The vlog ended and our screens fill with related youtube videos.
"I am not that dragon and you are not that warrior."
- Wondrous Mental Dragon