Posted by Webmaster

A note from WARPED President, Joey Matthew:
It is unacceptable that it took this long to post Not So Silent Night. This "DVD Release" should not take two months to get out there. What you wanted was winners at this point, and that's what I've provided below. There are some exceptions for those of you who typed things up, and those were included, but the majority of the matches have quick blips. My apologies. At least now we know who the champions are...

Thank you,



Not So Silent Night was supposed to be live from The Arena in Philly, but due to the lack of a front door and running water, we moved to a new day and venue at the Philly National Guard Armory on Christmas Day. Attendance was the lowest for Not So Silent Night that it's been since our first year, sadly, but that was to be expected.

Opening Match: Alexander StarrZoe vs. Platinum(debut)
This was an all out squash match. Starr destroyed Platinum in a mere 2 minutes after the 450 Splash.


Cameron MacNichol to announce his top picks for a Tag Team Champion partner

In the ring, a red carpet has been laid out on the canvas. In the middle of the ring, a podium has been set up, with one of the WARPED tag team championship belts displayed for the crowd. As the familiar riff of “Stranglehold” hits the speakers, the fans rise to their feet in unison as Cameron MacNichol appears from behind the curtain, dressed in his ring attire, with his own tag team championship belt slung over his shoulder. Cameron walks down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans as he goes. As he reaches the bottom of the ramp, he slides under the bottom rope into the ring. Standing up, he raises his arms into the air, taking in the fans’ cheers. After a moment, he takes a microphone from Randy Long.

Cameron MacNichol: “How are you doing, Philadelphia?”

The fans cheer wildly. Cameron gives them a wide smile.

Cameron MacNichol: “Now, as most of you know, back in October, I won both the WARPED tag team championship belts and the right to pick a new tag team partner. And I have to be honest; it’s been a tough decision. In two months, I haven’t been able to make up my mind. But that’s only because (A) there are so many talented men and women to choose from, and (B) I have to consider who I can have the most success with, not necessarily who I want to team with; the two aren’t always mutually exclusive. I managed to narrow it down to three guys, with another one expressing interest and one wild card. I had it narrowed down to Seth Moore…”

The audience lets out a respectable cheer. Cameron nods in apparent agreement.

Cameron MacNichol: “…Adam Stryker…”

The audience pops a second time, a little louder than the first.

Cameron MacNichol: “…and Mr. Rottentreats.”

The audience emits a loud chorus of boos.

Cameron MacNichol: “I even considered my old partner, Anton Chase.”

More boos from the audience.

Cameron MacNichol: “But only because he’s the last guy you’d think I’d choose. He’s my wild card. And I was surprised when the one and only PKA…”

The audience pops even more loudly than before. Cameron lowers his microphone, waiting for the fans to quiet down. As the noise dissipates, Cameron raises his mic again.

Cameron MacNichol “…expressed an interest. So with five guys vying for the chance to be one half of the tag team champions, how do I choose? I threw out an offer on Twitter. Seth was interested, but not 100% committed; I never got an answer from Stryker, while Treats and PKA both replied in the positive. That didn’t really help, so I mulled it over constantly in my head. Finally an idea popped that’s so simple I can’t believe it took me this long to think of it. This is an old counting game from England similar to ‘eeny, meeny, miny, moe’, and there’s no bias towards my own personal preference. I say we go by process of elimination. So folks, if you’ll turn your attention to the video screen…”

Images of Seth, Stryker, Chase, Rottentreats, and PKA appear on the video screen at the top of the ramp.

Cameron MacNichol:: “All right, I’m gonna call out eight code names; you folks in the back, shuffle those images in a random order. You folks out here, I have no advance knowledge from this point on. You ready?”

The audience cheers loudly.

Cameron MacNichol: “All right, here we go. Clear the screen.”

The video screen goes blank, and Cameron clears his throat.

Cameron MacNichol: “Tinker.”

The image of Chase appears back on the screen.

Cameron MacNichol: “Tailor.”

The image of Chase disappears, replaced by the image of Seth.

Cameron MacNichol: “Soldier.”

The image of Seth disappears, and the image of PKA appears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Sailor.”

The image of PKA disappears, and is followed by the image of Stryker.

Cameron MacNichol: “Rich man.”

The image of Stryker disappears, and the image of Rottentreats appears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Poor man.”

The image of Treats disappears, and is replaced by the image of Seth again.

Cameron MacNichol: “Beggerman.”

The image of Seth disappears, and the image of PKA reappears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Thief.”

The image of PKA disappears, and the image of Chase appears.

Cameron MacNichol: “All right, we’ve got our first elimination. Sorry, Anton. Better luck next time.”

The audience cheers, as the image of Chase disappears from the screen. Cameron gives them another smile.

Cameron MacNichol: “All right, round two. Ready?”

The audience cheers again.

Cameron MacNichol:: “Tinker.”

The image of PKA appears back on the screen.

Cameron MacNichol: “Tailor.”

The image of PKA disappears, and the image of Rottentreats reappears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Soldier.”

The image of Treats disappears, and is replaced by the image of Stryker.

Cameron MacNichol: “Sailor.”

The image of Stryker disappears, and the image of Seth appears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Rich man.”

The image of Seth appears, and the image of Rottentreats reappears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Poor man.”

The image of Rottentreats vanishes, and the image of Stryker appears again.

Cameron MacNichol: “Beggerman.”

The image of Stryker disappears, replaced by the image of Rottentreats.

Cameron MacNichol: “Thief.”

The image of Treats vanishes, and the image of PKA appears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Elimination number two! Sad to see it’s Patrick; but like I said, there’s no personal bias here.”

The image of PKA disappears from the screen.

Cameron MacNichol: “All right, here we go with round three. Tinker.”

The image of Stryker appears on the video screen.

Cameron MacNichol: “Tailor.”

The image of Stryker disappears, and is replaced by the image of Rottentreats.

Cameron MacNichol: “Soldier.”

The image of Rottentreats is removed and the image of Seth replaces it.

Cameron MacNichol: “Sailor.”

The image of Seth disappears, and the image of Rottentreats appears again.

Cameron MacNichol: “Rich man.”

The image of Treats vanishes and the image of Stryker reappears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Poor man.”

The image of Stryker disappears and Rottentreats reappears.

Cameron MacNichol: “Beggerman.”

The image of Rottentreats disappears, and is replaced by the image of Seth.

Cameron MacNichol: “Thief.”

The image of Seth disappears, and the image of Stryker reappears.

Cameron MacNichol: “That’s three down, ladies and gentlemen. Now, since there are only two choices left, a counting game is kind of unfair. So there’s a big decision for me to make. If you’ll indulge me…”

Cameron walks over to a corner and climbs up onto the turnbuckle. He faces the video screen as the images of Rottentreats and Seth appear on the screen together again. Studying the two images, he puts his right hand, which he balls up into a fist, under his chin, resembling Auguste Rodin’s sculpture “The Thinker”. After a few minutes of deliberation, Cameron removes his hand from his chin, and jumps down from the turnbuckle. Smiling at the fans again, he raises his microphone to his mouth.

Cameron MacNichol: “All right. It was difficult, but I’ve made my decision. Seth and Treats are both phenomenal athletes, and they were both vocal on Twitter about my offer. As I said before, Seth was interested, but not completely vested in it. And Treats may not be the most popular guy on the roster, but he was more committed. So ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to introduce the new half of the WARPED tag team champions: MISTER ROTTENTREATS!!”

The fans give Cameron a mixed reaction to his announcement.

Cameron MacNichol: “Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not personal; it’s simply what I feel is good for business. I understand that Treats is still out on the DL for another couple of weeks, so I don’t think he’ll begrudge me holding onto the physical belt for now; when he’s one hundred percent again, he can come find me and retrieve it. And as the saying goes, that’s all she wrote.”

Taking the tag team belt from the podium, Cameron climbs through the ropes and tosses his microphone back to Randy Long, as crew members begin removing the podium and red carpet from the ring.

Singles Match: Cameron MacNichol vs. Laurel Anne Hardy

"Where's north from here?"

Morse code plays over the speakers: .--. .-.. .- ... - .. -.-. -... . .- -.-. ....

The beat of Gorillaz' "Glitter Freeze" breaks in as the lights darken to blackness. As the synth begins to play, a golden star lights up on the stage. Beneath it, a few long seconds later at the key change, a winding pattern of multicoloured fairy lights flicker into life. Between the star and the lights a ghostly, glowing face appears at the next key change, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Slowly, eerily, it reshapes into a broad smile.

As the freakishly screeching synth riff which forms the main thrust of the song hits the speakers, the house lights return to reveal Laurel Anne Hardy. She's clad in a sparkling green bodysuit, wrapped from neck to ankles in tinsel and lights. An elaborate star-shaped headpiece rests on her crown, and her face is coated in colourful UV paint. She takes a deep bow, then begins to stride to the ring.

Randy Long: "Weighing one hundred and forty-four pounds... 'The Living, Breathing Installation Event of the Millenium'... LAUREL! ANNE HAAARRDAYYY!"

She hops onto the apron and rolls over the top rope, and poses theatrically in the ring while the fairy lights festooned around her blink cheerfully. She slowly disentangles herself from the bulk of the decorations while waiting for the match to begin, though not before taking the time out for another big bow and a kiss blown to the audience.

Both competitors circle the ring, waiting for the best opportunity to strike. Laurel shoots for several low kicks, rather measuring her opponent that trying to inflict punishment right away. Cam goes for a grapple, Laurel ducks and bounces off the ropes, taking MacNichol down with a Leaping Lariat. The Tag Team Champion is up quickly, but by that time Hardy is coming at him again, Dropkicking him to the corner. She hits a Roundoff backflip corner back splash and Cameron collapses to the mat. Laurel goes through the ropes and on the top turnbuckle where she shows off to the crowd for a while, waiting for her opponent to get up. As he gets on his feet, Hardy takes a dive and rocks Cam with a hard Back Elbow.

Tony D: This match has been all Laurel so far!

Kris Red: She covers and ref counts one! Two! And MacNichol with a shoulder up!

The Dirty Mac tries to get up, but as he is on one knee, Laurel shoots a stiff kick towards his chest, softening him up for more. Cam gets up and stumbles a little as Hardy measures him for another round of kicks. She goes for a Roundhouse... Cam ducks, Laurel spins around and gets down for a Legsweep... Cam jumps up, avoiding it too! Laurel is up quickly, only to receive a stiff Rolling Elbow to the temple! Cameron follows it with a kick to a gut and a Snap DDT, laying his opponent out and gaining a precious breather.

Tony D: Cameron MacNichol showing great athleticism in countering those kicks by Laurel!

Cameron drags Laurel up and Powerslams her, then runs off the ropes and delivers a Knee Drop. Laurel tries to get away afterwards, but MacNichol pulls her back, right into a grounded Side Headlock. Hardy manages to get to a vertical base and elbow her way out of the hold. Quickly, she hits a beautiful Pelé Kick and Cameron stumbles back to one of the corners. Hardy charges at him, but Mac sidesteps and one half of Dragons Unleashed hits the buckles, chest first. Cameron gets behind her and she stumbles back right into a Bridging German Suplex.



TH-- Kickout!

Kris Red: That was pretty close!

Once again Laurel gets Irish Whipped into the corner. Cameron takes some time, then attempts a Corner Spear... and Laurel hops on the turnbuckles! Cam goes shoulder first to the post and Hardy drops from the turnbuckles right over his back... into a Sunset Flip Powerbomb!

Tony D: Pinning predicament! One! Two! Thre-not quite!

Kris Red: This is a goddamn festival of fantastic counters!

Both competitors are up quickly, but Hardy is a heartbeat quicker with a kick to the mid-section, doubling Cam over. She drops him with a perfect Dragon Suplex right into a pin.



TH-- Cameron bridges out of it! He spins Laurel around and knees her to the gut, then gets her into a Powerbomb position...

Kris Red: Powerbomb perhaps? ... Oh no! JUMPING PILEDRIVER!

Tony D: You think that it's--

Kris Red: Of course I do! It's ova!

Tony D: MacNichol covers... One! Two! ThreeNO! Laurel with a shoulder up!

Cameron gets up quickly and measures Laurel as she tries to get up after the Piledriver. As she turns around, he goes for a Clothesline From Hell... Drop-Toe-Hold counter by Hardy, sending Cam face first to the canvas! She bounces off the ropes and almost knocks MacNichol out as she hits him with a Dropkick to the side of the head while he's on all four! Quickly, she climbs to the top turnbuckle...

Kris Red: What the fuck Tony?!

Tony D: It appears that Laurel Anne Hardy is doing... a headstand on the top turnbuckle!

Crowd applaudes as Laurel indeed performs a headstand on the top turnbuckle pad, and then they go absolutely bananas as she goes from this position right into an Arabian Press Moonsault!


Tony D: There's the cover! One! Two! Threekickoutagain! Cameron MacNichol stays alive!

She stands up and stalks Cameron as he starts to rise to his feet. She boots him in his gut and hits the Straightjacket Flip Piledriver!

Tony D: Flower Power Mk III!

She covers..




The bell sounds and Laurel is the winner of the match as the fans pop.


Evolution Championship Match: Adam Stryker vs. Leon Stone
WINNER: The NEW Evolution Champion, ADAM STRYKER, via pinfall

A Holly Jolly Treatsmas!



WARPEDVision lights up with static that slowly fades away to the view of a Christmas tree. Whistling O Tannebaum in front of the tree, is what appears to be someone in an elf costume. The chubby elf gingerly places gifts underneath the overly decorated monstrosity of a holiday decoration; unaware that he’s being filmed. Off camera the sound of “psst-ing” can be heard attempting to grab the attention of the “elf”.


The shouting startles the elf, who in turn falls backward, ass over tea kettle. A blur quickly covers the underside of the elf’s outfit indicating that this elf is free balling like it’s no one else’s business. The elf quickly regains his composure and hops to his feet. In one swift motion the elf pivots as he straightens his costume up. The camera tilts up revealing red, white, and green paint attempting a takeover of a rather scraggly looking goatee. It doesn’t take long to notice, that the usual black and white skull face paint of Mr. Rottentreats has been modified to fit this festive holiday occasion.

Mr. Rottentreats: “I know, I know, elves don’t put presents under the tree! About that.. I lost a bet, so I have to wear this…”

Forgetting, the string of Christmas lights wrapped around his right foot he steps forward to model the elf costume; pulling the Christmas tree down. Not one to stop talking just because a Christmas tree fell down, he continues; amidst the beautiful flashing Christmas lights.

Mr. Rottentreats: “If you follow me on twitter, @ClownRot! Then you would know that because I lost said bet against our dear ‘ol pal Douglas Divine.. I have to wear this. However, that’s not important. What is?! This here WARPED Evolution Championship, THAT’S WHAT!”

A glass display case over the fireplace lights up; a Grinch like grin creeps across Treats’ face. The case itself that was specifically designed to house the WARPED Evolution title is empty.

???: “Uh, Treats.. It’s not there..”

Mr. Rottentreats: “Of course it’s not, silly! Once again, if you were to follow me on twitter, @ClownRot! You would also know that I’m feeling extra fuckin’ CHRISTMASY this year! So much so, that I’ve decided to grant not one, but two wishes this holiday season! One for our dear friend and WARPED Owner, Joseph Matthew. The other? Why, our NEW Evolution champeen, of course!”

Mr. Rottentreats bares his teeth with a smile that reeks of extra creep factor. Inside the Philadelphia National Guard Armory the aisle way lights up with flashing green and red lights, in sync with “Santa’s A Fat Bitch” by Insane Clown Posse. Stumbling down the entrance ramp is a rather disreputable looking Santa Claus; sack of goodies slung over his shoulder. With his head down Santa continues down the aisle toward the ring; drooling on his soot covered suit. St. Nick passes by the announce team attempting to keep his face hidden.

Tony D: “Wait a minute, that’s..

Kris Red: “Skanta Claws! I wonder what he has in his bag of treats..“

The slob of a Santa trips his way up the steps and falls through the ropes; not showing his face the whole time. On WARPEDVision, Mr. Rottentreats continues as Adam Stryker assists the clumsy Santa to his feet; allowing Santa to dig in his sack.

Mr. Rottentreats(WARPEDVision): “And since I know the jolly ‘ol fat man himself, I figured why not give him a ring to have him deliver the Evolution Title to the new champeen. ‘Tis the season, ya know. This one’s for…”


WARPEDVision turns to static once more triggering the SoCal Switchblade to lariat jolly ‘ol St. Nick out of his boots.

Kris Red: ”Stryke the fat man down!”

Tony D: “I don’t think that’s Santa, Kris.”

Adam Stryker stands over Santa and pulls his beard away from his face.

Kris Red: “Of course it’s not, that’s Douglas Divine!”

Tony D: “Who’s that climbing the rail!”

Kris Red: “It’s Santa’s favorite little helper, Mr. Rottentreats!!”

Tony D: “Oh we didn’t need to see his jingle bells!”

Kris Re: “I can’t blame him for free ballin’, Tony D. Elf suits are pure felt, gotta let the boys breathe!”

Mr. Rottentreats, in full elf attire slides under the bottom rope; the crowd erupts with boos. Adam Stryker drops the fake Santa beard and turns just in time for him to be BLASTED with the WARPED Evolution Title! Elf Treats stands over the SoCal Switchblade with the Evolution title held high above his head. With the Evolution title still held high with his left arm, he retrieves a microphone from his belt to a loud chorus of jeers.

Tony D: “Looks like WARPED’s resident Faygo Fanatic is back, Kris. I hope he realizes he’s NOT the Evolution Champion anymore.”

Kris Red: “You’re such a Grinch, Tony D! What a way to return!”

Treats places the microphone near his lips before glancing down at Adam Stryker.

Mr. Rottentreats: “YA NUGGET, BITCH BOOOYYEEE!!!”

Kris Red: “He’s kickin’ it old school tonight, Tony D!”

Tony D: “Hasn’t he always been an asshole?”

Kris Red: “That’s not very professional!”

Tony D: “You’re one to ta..”

Kris Red: “Quiet! He’s about to speak!”

Still Standing over Adam Stryker, The Whole F’N Sideshow drops the title onto Adam Stryker. The WARPED-alo strokes his scraggly paint infested goatee as he looks out into the crowd with disdain and brings the microphone to his lips. All of a sudden Treats is bombed by a large cup that explodes upon impact with the side of his head.

Mr. Rottentreats: “On second thought.”

WARPED’S Wicked Clown retrieves the WARPED Evolution title. Treats waggles it around in a lewd manner to “shake it off”.

Kris Red: “Hey now, shake it more than twice and you’re playing with it!”

Tony D: “Judging by the look on his face, that wasn’t Faygo!”

Kris Red: “The smell should have given it away. Someone has been eating way too much Asparagus, Tony D!”

Mr. Rottentreats: “I’ve said it for years Philadelphians are the filthiest creatures on earth! This isn’t about you though. JOSEPH! You’re not the only one that can renege on a deal. If you want this title back, your fraudulent champeen is going to have to win it, FROM ME!”

Treats kneels over Adam Stryker and moves his mouth for him.

Mr. Rottentreats: “No, I’m a bitch!”

The clown looks at Adam Stryker confused.

Mr. Rottentreats: “Well, I’m afraid that’s up to Joseph, isn’t it?”

Treats turns his attention to the nearest camera.

Mr. Rottentreats: “While we’re on the subject of attainable gold here in WARPED Wrestling. Cameron MacNichol..”

The chubby rambunctious elf strokes his goatee in thought.

Mr. Rottentreats: “Don’t you worry about being the Dirty Mac when I have ya back. I’m rotten enough for the both of us.. Partner.”

Tony D: “He can’t get away with this can he?”

Kris Red: “He just did, Tony D. He just did, and things are about to get a little more WARPED around here.”

Mr. Rottentreats exits the ring by rolling under the bottom rope, leaving an unconscious Adam Stryker lying on the canvas.

Semi-Main Event: Cover Charge Combat
A 'royal rumble' type match. In order to enter the match, you must bring a weapon. That is your cover charge for this..combat.

A cheer goes up as, for the second time tonight, morse code hits the speakers. As it breaks into Gorillaz' "Glitter Freeze", Laurel Anne Hardy walks out wearing psychedlic Christmas tree print tights, a green denim shirt and red silk scarf, and an enormous wreath headpiece. She has mini baubles for earrings, and much of her face is taken up with a gold star of shimmering glitter.

In her hand is a microphone. She raises it towards the sky.

Kris Red: "Dafuq? Where's her entry fee!?"

Tony D: "Maybe she's making the statement that in her hands, it IS a weapon."

Kris Red: "Oh, right... like... in anybody else's hands, it's just a microphone, but in her hands, it's a-"

Tony D: "DON'T say that."

Laurel ambles towards the ring, in no great rush. As she gets close, she starts to speak.

Laurel Anne Hardy: "Talk about a big match. The entire roster and a ring full of weapons. Laurel Anne Hardy should be all over that, right? She is, after all, the Vermeer of violence. The Beardsley of brutality. The laureate of hardcore wrestling. And I would be in there crackin' skulls right now if not for one little detail, which is... I don't want to win this match, because I don't want the reward. I don't want to be the World Champion."

Kris Red: "Did... did I just hear her right!?"

Pausing near the apron, she continues:

Laurel Anne Hardy: "Wrestling is no mere..."

She sneers and spits.

Laurel Anne Hardy: "...'sport'. Wrestling is ART, and I am an ARTIST. The quality of a wrestler isn't measured in how many World Championships they've held. All that proves is how many other people they're willing to step on. The lust for World Championships drives people to do callous things, and worse still, philistine things. Fuck that. The true measure of a wrestler is how many fans they drive to the edge of their seat. An' in that measure, every time I step out under these lights, I prove myself the greatest performer in this art form."

She pauses again, letting the audience react to that.

Laurel Anne Hardy: "Every time... except this one, because not only do I not give a shit about this fuckin' match, I ain't gonna dignify the existence of such a fundamentally pathetic, deleterious thing as World Championships by gracin' this match with my presence. You lot have fun now, an' I'll catch you at the afterparty."

She holds her arm out, cocks her head and smirks and... yup, #MicDrop. Then she turns and walks back towards the curtain, flipping a double bird to the ring as she goes.

Cover Charge Combat:
Participants: Adam Stryker, Alexander StarrZoe, Anton Chase, Cameron MacNichol, Crowbar, Evangelista, Hugo Strange, Jason Richards, Jay Pride, Leon Stone, Platinum, Seth Moore, SHEEP SHEEP + more?

Here are the weapons they chose to use:

Alexander StarrZoe - Can of Gasoline and a pack of matches
Hugo Strange - Tai pai fist taped fist covered in glue and broken glass
Jay Pride - Steel Chair
Seth Moore - A Double-Ender
Cameron MacNichol - kitchen sink
Anton Chase - Baseball bat
Crowbar - Taser
SHEEP SHEEP - McDonald's M
Adam Stryker - A chain
Jason Richards - Steel chair
Leon Stone - a big round solid iron shield
Platinum - Steel chair

Eliminations / Eliminated By
1. Jay Pride by Alexander StarrZoe
2. Crowbar by Adam Stryker
3. Seth Moore by Alexander StarrZoe
4. Platinum by SHEEP SHEEP
5. Crowbar by Hugo Strange
6. Leon Stone by Hugo Strange
7. Jason Richards by Hugo Strange

Tony D: This thing is complete mayhem! We got guys everywhere, junk all over the ring...and look! Here comes someone else, he isn't even waiting for music...who is that?

Kris Red: Oh wow! That's Madman Szalinski! He's back, Tony!

Clad in a red mask with white trim, a Santa cap sewn in, and a white singlet with red snowflakes, Madman Szalinski runs down to the ring, clutching a pair of large video game consoles in one hand each.

Kris Red: He brought us a Sega AND A Playstation! Is that a Saturn?

Tony D: I don't know!

The Playstation One flies out of Madman's hand and into the ring. He slides in with the Saturn, jumping to his feet and aiming right for Alexander StarrZoe in the center of the ring.

Tony D: He's going right for StarrZoe!

Madman connects, sending shards of electronic and plastic all over the place.

Crowd: OOOOOOH!!!

Kris Red: Oh my God!

Several of the combatants in the Rumble actually stop and turn to look. Szalinski picks Alexander up as he falls backwards, pulling him back to his feet only to push him back into the corner. "OH YEAH, READY?" Madman yells in Alexander's face before backing up, flipping him off and yelling "DOWN!" along with a significant portion of the crowd aware of who Madman Szalinski is. He then runs in, jumping onto a cornered StarrZoe with an elbow strike...and another...another...the crowd yelling out along with him "HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT!"

Tony D: What the hell?

Kris Red: Calls those the Tecmo Elbows...

Madman stops after seven or eight, throwing StarrZoe out of the corner. While keeping him on his feet, Madman puts StarrZoe's limp hand onto his shoulder, then steps onto the top rope...and jumps over to the floor?!

Tony D: What the heck was that?

Kris Red: I don't know...the way Madman held his hand, that is considered being thrown I guess Madman Szalinski was just eliminated by Alexander StarrZoe...?

Madman lands on the floor, stretching out Alexander's arm off the top rope. Alexander falls back onto his backside, but has no time to react as Madman pulls him by the legs, straddling his legs on either side of the ringpost.

Kris Red: At least he didn't crotch 'em...

Madman folds Alexander's leg over as a pair of referees try to pull Szalinski away. Beginning to laugh, Madman talks some more unintelligible trash to StarrZoe while sliding one of his legs up and under StarrZoe's leg.

Tony D: What's he saying? Do we even wanna know?

The camera gets closer to hear Madman say "THIS IS SO FUN IT SHOULD BE FUCKING ILLEGAL!" before falling back, kicking up his other leg and locking in a devastating Figure 4, using the ringpost as leverage.

Tony D: The Figure 4 around the post!

Kris Red: Wow...don't see that one too often...

StarrZoe thrashes around on the mat, but Madman hangs on. Finally, security makes it down and succeeds in prying Madman off of Alexander StarrZoe. The other participants in the match have resumed brawling, leaving StarrZoe to lie on the mat as Madman is pulled around the ringside area, letting out a loud Rebel yell and throwing up a devil's horns in the air, getting a deafening (albeit mixed) reaction from the WARPED crowd. "MERRY CHRISTMAS YA SWEATY BASTARDS!" This gets some more cheers, as Madman is now being pulled up the ramp by security.

Tony D: Madman Szalinski just entered the Cover Charge Rumble, and eliminated himself just to get a shot at StarrZoe...

Kris Red: I don't know what his problem is with Alexander StarrZoe, but I know this: he's got problems.

Tony D: So does Alexander StarrZoe's chances to win this thing...

8. Madman Szalinski by Alexander StarrZoe
9. Hugo Strange by Cameron MacNichol
10. Cameron MacNichol by Anton Chase
11. Anton Chase by Alexander StarrZoe
12. Adam Stryker by Alexander StarrZoe

WINNER: #1 Contender, Alexander StarrZoe


Main Event: World Championship - William Wallace(c) vs. Alexander StarrZoe

Everyone and the broken weapons and total carnage was cleared from the ring as quickly as possible because William Wallace's music immediately hit the PA System and he barely gave Starr a chance to get his wits about him as the Title defense was underway. The match lasted ten minutes with Starr mounting a comeback near the seven minute mark, but William Wallace was too fresh and too much for the former champ, and with a Freedom Drop, that was all she wrote for Starr, 1 2 3.

Still Champ: William Wallace