WARPED80 - THE END? - 6/12/13 - New York City - Hammerstein Ballroom
LIVE ON I-PPV!
WARPED Wrestling #80 begins in New York City, live from the Hammerstein Ballroom, where a sellout crowd of 3,000. Unlike usual WARPED Wrestling shows, “Pogo” by Digitalism does not play through the public announce system while the spotlights in the build rotate around the darkened crowd and the audience cheers; “WAR-PED!, WAR-PED!, WAR-PED!” and Randy Long welcomes the live audience to the show. Instead, the building remains without music and Randy Long is absent from the ring, though the fans still cheer, excited for the opening bell. Without notice however, a song does begin to play over the public announce system, a different song than usual; “Who Shot Ya?” by the Notorious B.I.G. The elating sound of cheers in the building suddenly and dramatically change to ear-shattering boos, almost drowning out the music as the fans in New York City realize who is making his way to the ring. Though, there are no theatrics this time, no smoke or lighting effects as the curtain is pulled back and Alexander StarrZoë stands at the top of the stage.
Starr smiles at the unwelcoming reaction of the crowd and slowly saunters to the ring, cursing out the fans at ringside and spitting at their feet. Following behind the former World Champion on the entrance ramp is his intimidating and imposing looking enforcer, introduced to the WARPED world last month, Rampage. The seldom heard from bodyguard is carrying a baseball bat. “FUCK YOU!” one fan screams at Starr just seconds before being face to face with Rampage, who is half way over the barrier and into the sea of people before StarrZoë restrains him, telling his friends “it’s a waste of time”. Starr and Rampage make their way into the ring and Starr demands a microphone. Waiting just a moment for the boos to die down and long enough to light a cigarette.
Starr: “On behalf of WARPED Wrestling, I would like to welcome you all to WARPED 80…”
Starr stares into the fans quizzically, his head tilted, almost pondering what he just said.
Starr: “No, no, that doesn’t sound right at all. Let me try again…”
Alex drags his cigarette, exhales, and clears his throat, making a production of his speech.
Starr: “Ahem…on behalf of AbominationZ Wrestling it is my great displeasure to welcome you worthless assholes to AbominationZ 80! Yeah, there we go, much better! That’s right bitches, we took over the company, the World Championship, and the show. We changed the stage; we changed the name of the show, we’ve taken the fuck over! See, that’s what’s funniest about all of this. PKA returned last week in pre-recorded form to rally his troops to fight against the evils of the AbominationZ and saved WARPED, the UK Dragons are fashioning themselves as sometime of defense force against us, and Hugo Strange claimed on Twitter last week that he was WARPED Wrestling. What all of these jerkoffs fail to realize however is that WARPED is already dead and buried, we killed it off the minute William Wallace decided that a successful career is more important than saving an inevitably dying promotion and PKA tucked his tail and ran. I want everyone in the back that feels differently about the AbominationZ than I do to listen very closely. Put your fucking ears against the monitor if you have to. Do you really think PKA gives a shit about you or WARPED? That asshole justs hopes someone can save it so that he has a place to come back to when his attempt at blowing the dust off his boots in Frontier fails. He doesn’t want to have to grovel to Crowbar for his job back, so he’s hoping someone has dethroned us by then.”
Starr drags his cigarette again before flicking it in the general direction of the fans, watching with glee as it sails into the audience.
Starr: “How are you going to fight for a company that is already dead? That’s like the south trying to restart the Civil War; it’s over and done with! The south will not rise again and neither will WARPED. Everything you see belongs to us now, its ours to do what we want with, EVERYTHING, including your contracts, so watch who the fuck you’re all talking to. I’m willing to make an exception for the Dragons, they made the decision to jump from little league straight into the majors and I get my kicks from beating the shit out of the underdogs. But the rest of you, if you so much as look crooked at us, your ass will be bounced to the unemployment line faster than a mailman with cloudy piss. I’ll take the most sincere pleasure in personally disemboweling any and every motherfucker that even thinks of rising up against the AbominationZ. We are in full control now and if you don’t like it, I welcome you to…GET THE FUCK OUT. Generally, I would challenge someone to do something about it, but in all honesty, no one in the back is capable of doing a damn thing anyway.”
Starr pulls his ribbed tank top over his shoulders and tosses it to the mat, pointing down at his rib cage, where the UK Dragon’s logo is now scarred into him.
Starr: “As for this? The Dragons got to the fight a bit late, so they don’t really understand what I’m capable of. I’ll let you all in on a little secrete though; tonight they’ll find the fuck out real quick. I don’t fight fair nor do I get even, I up the ante. Before this night is out, the Dragons are going to regret the day they ever set eyes on WARPED Wrestling. They want to bring a war to me? You think a bit of scarring to scare me off? You two bitches don’t know the first thing about playing dirty. I’m not fighting fire with fire; fuck off with that pussy shit. I’m fighting fire with nuclear weapons at this point. I’ll blow you and your little group of friends sky fucking high. It’ll look like post-World War 2 Japan in here tonight by the time I’m finished. The other thing you two stupid sluts forgot to account for was the fact that I have a body full of tattoos, what’s one more on my ribcage going to matter? I’ll have this shit covered with a work of art fit for a museum by month’s end. Where’s the money for the tattoo going to come from though? Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan for that as well. Soon enough my slanty-eyed friends, soon enough everything will be revealed.”
Alex reaches his hand toward Rampage, who hands him the baseball bat while staring wordlessly ahead at the crowd.
Starr: “Ah, allow me to introduce two of the UK Dragon’s newest nightmares; my old childhood friend and bodyguard Rampage, who it would have been mighty fucking helpful if he were around two weeks ago and not doing another month in prison might I add, as well as my closest friend in the world…”
Alexander holds the baseball bat high above his head.
Starr: “I’ve named him Homerun. If you look closely, you can see bloodstains, shards of glass, nails sticking out, human flesh, hell, at one point I even wrapped him up cozy and comfy in barbed wire. Homerun has been through everything with me and we’re about to go on a new adventure. Homerun is a huge UK Dragons fan, he’s really interesting in meet you both face to face…get my point? But tonight is a special night, a truly magical night for Homerun. He gets to meet one half of the UK Dragons and he’ll be hanging out with her for a long time tonight, in a wrestling ring of all places. Tonight, Homerun will repeatedly be driven into the head…I mean meeting Laurel Anne Hardy…how exciting for him! It is a cold night in New York though, I think he needs his barbed wire to keep him warm, don’t you?”
Starr drops the bat to the ground with a thud and suddenly an indescribable look comes over him, his eyes widening.
Starr: “It’s all fucking fun and games til someone gets hurt, right? EVERYONE’S GOT FUCKING JOKES. I’m sick of that shit, I just realized that it’s not funny anymore; even my own jokes don’t make me laugh. Even Crowbar’s got jokes, telling people I’ve gone insane. Now I’m got some nobody I’ve never heard of from Frontier named Seth or Shane or some faggy name calling me out too? FUCK ALL OF THIS. You know what does make me laugh though? You know what I really do enough? What gets me off more than fucking a porn star and a super model at the same time? Making people bleed. I get a hard on just at the thought of it. I love hurting people more than anything else in this world. I don’t think you all realize who the hell you’ve set off. I’m the fucking Picasso of violence. My art is blood and this ring is my canvas. I’ve been around the world more times than I can count perfecting my craft of making people suffer. I’ve set Crowbar on fire twice in F’n’X matches now, TWICE, what do you think I’m willing to do to someone like Hardy? Tonight bitch, you suffer worse than you can imagine, I promise you. I’m going to make an example out of you for the rest of this place, I’ll show the world once a-fucking-gain what happens when you piss off Alexander StarrZoë. This whole company is more fucked than Sasha Grey in a gangbang. Tonight, Laurel is going to be the first to bend over and take it.”
Starr drops the microphone and makes his way out of the ring, Rampage in tow.
Kris Red: "Some Liberace shit going on right about now."
Tony D: "But Laurel is a female.. Uh, anyway fans, welcome! Let's allow Randy Long to make his way into the ring and he will introduce the show!"
Randy Long stands in the middle of the ring.
Randy Long: "Wrestling fans, WARPED Wrestling fans, welcome to WARPED80! LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY! What a great night of wrestling we have including two huge main events. Alexander StarrZoe will seek revenge for getting BRANDED by Laurel Anne Hardy tonight as it's AbominationZ versus Asylum tonight! And, William Wallace WILL PUT HIS TITLE ON THE LINE against Hugo Strange! The AbominationZ battle WARPED tonight!"
The fans erupt in cheers!
Randy Long: "Lets get things kicked off right now, though, with the four men surrounding this ring!
Opener: Four Corner Survival
Damien Baine vs. Juvian Ramorez vs. Kaleb King vs. Seth Moore
Randy Long exits the ring.
Damien grabs a microphone from the ring attendant and stands in the middle of the ring, looking at the crowd.
Damien: Before I wrestled, I was a teacher, a history teacher, but even I know what a figure of speech is, who else here knows that a figure of speech is?
The majority of the crowds yells in response.
Damien: Yea that's what I thought, now even though most of you know what it is, apparently Seth Moore doesn't, so as a teacher I have a responsibility to teach it to him, so Seth a figure of speech is when you say something but it is not literal, for example a mask, I used my mask a a figure of speech, I mean god damn dude, do you really think I was going to wear a mask to wrestle in? This isn't Halloween and I'm not wrestling in Mexico, I was using the mask a figure of speech to explain how I felt.
Damien: Now that bring me to another thing you asshole, explaining to my fans how I feel and what is going on isn't sappy, believe it or not but some people might want to watch a promo that focuses on something other than cheap punchlines, and cheesy humor, now I know that you specialize in those areas but it boring and cliche so take you lame humor else where, and have you noticed the kids that walk around with guitars are the people that turn in John Mayer? Making millions of dollars writing songs that get him laid on a regular basis, but like I said your promo is a cookie cutter piece of shit full of cheap lines trying to get a laugh, if I'm the guy with the guitar then you're the annoying guy in the back of the room that thinks he's funny, so my advice to you? Get some new material, and open your eyes, I might not be the only guy with problems but you are damn sure the only guy that is this stupid.
Damien turns around and looks at the crowd.
Damien: That's all I wanted to say, some one had to say it, id bet I'm not the only one here that felt that way, now I'm gonna go ahead and give this microphone back, and then I'm gonna win this match for you guys OK?
The crowd goes wild and Damien throws the ring attendant the Microphone.
Kris Red: "Jesus, he talks a lot.."
Tony D: "Well fans welcome to WARPED80 we are live on iPay Per View in New York City. I am Tony D alongside Kris Red.."
Kris Red: "That's ABOMINATIONZ OWN Kris Red! And let's get goign with this Four Corner Survival! Damien Baine, Juvian Ramorez, Kaleb King, Seth Moore!"
The bell sounds. Kaleb King and Damien Baine lock up.. and Baine forces Kaleb into the ropes. King then knees him in the gut and Baine delivers a hard right hand that sends Kaleb through the ropes! Baine then grabs the top rope and vaults over, taking Kaleb down!!!
Tony D: "Fans we're not sure the seriousness but we must pass on reports that there was some sort of an accident involving a vehicle at the WARPED Headquarters in Wichita, Kansas earlier today. We're still waiting on further information."
In the ring, the other two men enter. Juvian Ramorez and Seth Moore lock hands, jockeying for control. Ramorez applies a side headlock, wrenching it in tightly. Moore backs Ramorez into the ropes and tries to push him away but Ramorez steps on the right foot of Moore suddenly, stalling him from continuing. Moore pokes Ramorez in the eyes and laughs as Ramorez tries to rub out the pain. Moore grabs his arm, but its countered..Ramorez with the irish whips off the ropes, Moore bounces off and Ramorez delivers a dropkick that takes Moore down to the mat. He falls back and still favors his eyes as Ramorez covers 1.... quick kickout.
Kris Red: "Juvian Ramorez really bores me! He came in with a lot of hype and really flamed out FAST!"
Tony D: "Well sometimes it takes a while for someone to get on their feet in a new place. Look at Damien Baine - he's still getting things going and he's been here for months."
At ringside, Damien Baine counters an irish whip attempt by Kaleb King and sends him into the barricade back first. Baine raises his arm in the air and slaps his elbow as he charges in quickly and hits a fast European Uppercut, sending King over the barricade and into the first row of fans. The fans go wild as Baine climbs the barricade and kicks King in the head. He lifts him up and tosses him over the barricade.
The action in the ring features a dazed Seth Moore in the corner, as Ramorez is still in control. Ramorez delivers a knife edge chop, and another. Moore strattles the ropes with his arms as Ramorez struts away from the corner, a cocky smile on his face. He approaches Moore in the corner and Moore quickly grabs him and puts him in the corner and begins chopping him hardcore over and over. Moore then grabs his arm and goes for an irish whip but Ramorez counters with a knee to the gut, followed by a quick side suplex! Ramorez quickly shoots up and raises his arms in the air, a smile on his face. He struts to the ropes and gets out on the apron, grabbing ahold of the top rope. He looks as though he's about to sling or springboard in when Damien Baine grabs his legs and pulls him down, causing him to smack face-first off the apron. He then follows through with an irish whip that sends the cocky Juvian Ramorez into the ringsteps!
Tony D: "And that HAS to hurt!"
Kris Red: "Damn right it does!"
In the ring, Kaleb King comes out of the blue as he slides into the ring and as Moore gets to his feet King leaps up and hits a belly to back suplex! He covers.....1....2...Damien Baine in to break it up. Baine brings King to his feet and connects with a snap suplex! Baine covers... 1...2... broken up by Juvian Ramorez. Ramorez brings Baine to his feet and kicks him in the gut before hooking up both his arms in a under-hook hold, he then lifts Baine vertical, he spins around 90 degrees then plunges downwards sitting out sending his opponent down to the floor in a double under-hook sitout piledriver!
Tony D: "Juvian's Deciet!"
As Ramorez nails the move, Seth Moore hits a Double Underhook Sit Out Piledriver and bring shim up for a Bridging Chickenwing, but Kaleb King breaks it up! Kaleb goes for the Chaseface Chickenwing but Moore counters into his own Bridging Chickenwing!!
Damien Baine then breaks up the pin though. He brings Kaleb to his feet and sets him up for a Brainbuster! He hits it!! Seth Moore then springboards off the middle rope and back with a Leg Lariat on Damien Baine! Moore with a cover.. 1.. 2.. Juvian breaks it up.
Seth Moore quickly disposes of Juvian though as he hits a huge half nelson suplex that folds him up. Suddenly here comes Kaleb King with a BIG boot to the face of Moore, dropping him. Baine then comes to and gets up but King is right there with a boot to the back of Baine. King brings him up to his feet and sends him into the ropes with an irish whip and drops down for a backdrop but Baine kicks him in the face and hits a Brainbuster!!!
Baine leaps into the cover...1.....2.....3!! The bell sounds!
Randy Long: "Here is your winner - Damien Baine!"
Damien Baine picks up the victory as the fans erupt with cheers and his arm is raised in victory.
The camera fades to ringside showing Kris and Tony.
Tony D: "Fans we can now give you an update regarding the incident today at WARPED Headquarters. From what we're told, it turns out an armored truck drove INTO the building. We can confirm that President Joey Matthew was one of five men and women in the building at the time and they have all been rushed to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita, Kansas. We'll have more information as it is available."
The camera pans down from the marquee of the Manhattan Center. Standing underneath is Dylan Daniels dressed to kill. If it weren't for his ever growing facial hair and slicked back hair you may think he was taking everything seriously for once. With a simple raising of his arms he begins to speak.
Dylan Daniels: "New York, I still hate you. However, for one night I'm going to put that hatred aside and entertain you all!"
Dylan Daniels is tapped on the shoulder by a tattooed hand.
Dylan Daniels: "Can't you see I'm working here?!"
???: "Hardly. I, well we, have a proposition for you."
Dylan Daniels turns toward the hand and immediately waves the camera away.
Tag Team Match
Anton Chase & Cameron MacNichol vs. X-Rated (Devon Strong & Payton Cash) *debut*
The bell sounds as Strong and MacNichol lock up. The newcomer Devon Strong immediately takes control as he locks in a side headlock and repeatedly punches the head of MacNichol before taking him down to the mat and putting the boots in. He brings MacNichol to his feet and sends him into the ropes but MacNichol comes back with a clothesline taking down Strong. Strong up.. MacNichol goes for another clothesline but Strong ducks and nails a dropkick. Tag in to Payton Cash who enters and both men double suplex Cameron MacNichol as Anton yells at the ref to get Strong out of the ring!
Tony D: "Strong and Cash with the quick tag there and the double team. This is their WARPED debut so its important that they make a mark for themselves tonight."
Kris Red: "You're right, but Cameron and Anton, while Tag Champs, are still out to prove that they have what it takes to be a team."
Payton Cash brings MacNichol to the corner and kicks him in the gut, dropping him to the mat. Cash brings him up and sets him up top and climbs, setting him up for a superplex, but MacNichol fights back and pushes Cash off. MacNichol then leaps off the middle buckle and Cash fires off with a boot to the face catching MacNichol flush in the face! He drops to the mat screaming in pain as blood immediately begins flowing from his fingers that cover his face. Cash looks shocked as he turns back to Devon Strong who looks on with a surprised look on his face. The referee drops down to check on MacNichol and raises up the 'X' as to signal paramedics and Anton Chase enters the ring and checks on his partner.
Kris Red: "Whoa what happened there..? Cameron MacNichol is bleeding prefusely.. He's 'seeing red' if you will.."
Tony D: "I don't know but there are paramedics coming out now to help him out."
Strong and Cash are in the ring now also taking a look down at MacNichol behind Anton Chase. They grab Chase and deliver right hands to him as to take advantage as the crowd begins to boo. Double irish whip... Chase off the ropes and into a big double clothesline!
Kris Red: "Anton Chase is coming back in support of his partner big time!"
Tony D: "Well it's good to see them starting to work on the same page!"
Strong is up and he gets taken down with a PELE KICK! Cash rises and charges in as Chase catches him in a Belly to Belly Suplex and drops him hard on the mat! Strong now up coming at Chase who hits a Drop Toe Hold into his partner. Both men get to their feet and Chase grabs them both by the head and slams them face to face! Strong stumbles back and out of the ring as Chase grabs Cash. Anton kicks him in the gut and brings him between his legs, lifting him and dropping him face first!
Tony D: "Chaos Theory!"
The ref slides into place....1....2....3!!
Tony D: "And that's all she wrote!"
Randy Long: "The winners of the match - the WARPED Tag Team Champions, Cameron MacNichol and Anton Chase!"
Cameron is helped to his feet by the ref and Anton and he looks to be okay. Cameron assures them that he's fine as paramedics look on.
Tony D: "It looked like he might've had a broken nose or something but they've somehow stopped bleeding. Thank goodness!"
Kris Red: "Cameron could've gotten knocked silly, perhaps even gotten a concussion. He went down like a bag of potatoes. If he's smart, he'll get that looked at. But he won't, cause he isn't."
With WARPED 80 in full swing, Crowbar sits in his office, behind his desk, going over last minute paperwork and putting the finishing touches on yet another successful event. There is a quick knock at his door, disturbing his thoughts as he looks up from the disorganized pile of papers on his desk. Starr walks in, his enforcer behind him and a smile on his face. Alex flops down, lounging on the leather couch in the corner, leaving Rampage to watch the door unblinking from the corner, and throws a pack of cigarettes on Crowbar’s desk.
Starr: “There, ya happy you bastard? You’ve been bitching all day about how I’ve been bumming your cigarettes, so I bought you a new pack.”
Crowbar picks up of the unopened pack of smokes and examines them, sighing and shaking his head.
Crowbar: “These are menthol Alex, you know I don’t smoke menthols.”
Alex grins a sly smile and stands, taking the pack out of Crowbar’s hands and placing tosses them at Rampage, who catches them and puts them in his suit jacket pocket.
Starr: “Guess I’ll just take those then. Oh well, I tried to do something nice for you, don’t say I didn’t do you any favors, eh? By the way, I seem to have run low on smokes and Rampage won’t give me one…can I bum one of yours?”
Starr has a shit-eating grin on his face as Crowbar groans and points toward the door.
Crowbar: “Get out. Just get out. I’m busy, you’re bored, you’re too overly excited to beat up Hardy, and I’m trying to plan our next attack. You want cigarettes? Here, just take the whole pack and don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.”
Starr laughs as Crowbar stresses out and throws his own pack of cigarettes at his tag team partner. Starr lights a cigarette and throws the pack back on Crowbar’s desk.
Starr: “You think too little of me, you know that? I already have our next attack planned; it’s already good as gold and ready to go. I sent Rampage on a little fact-finding mission the other night, recorded the whole thing for prosperity’s sake. Turns out he hit the fucking mother load. I’m just waiting for the right time to reveal it tonight, live to the world. You’ll love it, I promise. What I’m going to do will make that branding bullshit look like child’s play. You think that thing in Vegas with Wallace was bad? What I’ve got in store is going to make Charles Manson sick to his stomach. This is the nuclear bomb I was talking about. WARPED is about to be blow sky fucking high.”
Crowbar rises an eyebrow, interested now as he puts his feet up at his desk.
Crowbar: “Speaking of that brand, how is it healing up?”
Starr shrugs and leans back on the couch.
Starr: “Actually, that’s what I came here to talk to you about. I need to get it covered up, I’m going to head back home and get my guy to ink it over, get a rib piece done, just about the only thing I don’t have tattooed anyway, I figure now’s a better time than ever. What I need however is the funds. See, it happened at a WARPED show due to lack of security, I figure WARPED should pay for it. Only fair, right?”
Crowbar: “Alex, you already know that the AbominationZ take 50% of the gate on top of our own salaries, I give you anything more and it’s going to break the bank for the show, I won’t be able to pay out checks.”
Alex lifts himself up from the couch and sits down in the chair in front of Crowbar’s desk, reaching for a pile of envelopes. Shuffling through them, he finds two envelopes labeled; “Laurel Anne Hardy” and “Evangelista”. StarrZoë holds up the envelopes.
Starr: “Paychecks for 79, right?”
Crowbar nods affirmative and Starr rips open both envelopes, scanning the documents inside.
Starr: “Well, take half of Laurel’s cut because, well fuck her, she burnt me and turn the 5 to a 2 on Evangelista’s because I hate her but she’s the less ugly of the two who I would fuck if I were drunk enough, and we’ll call it a ‘Pissing Off Starr Tax’. That’ll give me enough for the work, tipping the dude, a bottle of whiskey, and a nice half ounce of decent bud.”
Starr places the pile back on Crowbar’s desk, the two opened checks on top. The WARPED General Manager shrugs.
Crowbar: “Oh, why the fuck not. I sent you to Scotland on Hugo Strange’s check, I’ve done worse, I’ll probably do worse. I’ll make the numbers work, maybe their checks don’t make it out of my office, maybe they get ‘lost in the mail’, who knows, the post office is shit these days anyway.”
The scene fades as the two laugh, Rampage looking on.
The Controvert vs. Jason Richards
The camera pans to the ring where The Controvert (with SwitchBlade and Y at ringside) and Jason Richards are on the ring for their match.
Tony D: "Well let's try to concentrate on this singles match right now, The Controvert taking on Jason Richards."
The bell rings to signal the beginning of the match, Controvert and Richards meet In the middle of the ring, they look each each other measuring each other up, Richards quickly takes the moment to throw a right hand, and then a left hand, and another right hand. Controvert takes a step back, Richards throws another right hand but Controvert leans out of the way and shakes his head, Richards looks confused, then Controvert throws his own mix of punches faster than Richards can register what is happening, Richards stumbles back giving Controvert a chance to leap towards the ropes into a splash taking Richards to the mat.
Kris Red: "Cover him, fool!"
Controvert gets up, and steps back, Richards gets back up and shakes at cobwebs away, but this time doesn't give Controvert the chance to repeat the fury of punches, Richards rushed forward Irish whipping Controvert into the ropes, Controvert comes rushing back right into a Cutter from Richards. Richards take the time to do his own splash, running to the ropes and springing of into splash, going for the pin.
Controvert kicks out, both men get to there feet, Controvert shakes his head again and rushes at Richards Irish whipping him into the corner followed by Controvert running at Richards and Drop kicking him into the corner. Richards falls into a seated position sitting in the ring, and again Controvert hits him with another drop kick to the face. Controvert takes a step back, Richards starts to get up on all fours but Controvert hit him with a powerful kick to the midsection sending all the air out of Richards lungs. Richards rolls onto his back struggling to catch his breath. Controvert climbs the top turnbuckle and dives, dropping elbow right to the midsection to Richards. Controvert steps back again, Richards takes the moment to roll out of the ring, Richards bends over catching his breath. Controvert motions for him to come back in.
Richards slide back in but as soon as he rolls back in Controvert tries to hit him with a another dropkick, but Richards dives out of the way just in time. Richards quickly takes this moment to stomp on Controvert's midsection. He says something about “ See how it feels!” Richards drags him over to the corner and puts him in a sitting position against the turnbuckle, Richards steps back and runs forward with a cannon ball senton right into Controvert. Richards grabs Controvert by the feet and drag him into the center of the ring and goes for the pin.
Tony D: "Another two count for Richards, who's the only one who seems to be attempting to win this match."
Kris Red: "Y and The Controvert are all about causing chaos, not winning."
Richards stands up, aggravated, he pulls Controvert to his feet and picks him up for a back drop driver, but Controvert reverses it in midair into a DDT sending Richards head right into the mat, Controvert climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives off with another splash, with out missing a beat he picks Richards up into a Crucifix power bomb, Controvert catches his breath, and he pulls Richards to his feet throws him against the ropes, Richards bounces off running at Controvert. Controvert grabs Richards picks him up and does a spine buster into the Turnbuckle post behind him.
Tony D: "Ooh!!! The corner Spinebuster!"
Richards falls to the mat rolling in pain. Controvert stomps several times on his chest, and then steps directly on Richards throat stopping the air flow the referee stops him and tells him to stop, Richards rolls out of the ring to get his bearings but quickly Controvert has jumped off the top turnbuckle connecting with an elbow to the sternum of Richards.
Kris Red: "The Controvert is decimating Richards at this point."
The Referee starts to count. (One.)Controvert throws Richards against the barrier, then throws him against the metal stairs. (Two) Richards struggles to get up but Controvert kicks him in the head. Controvert picks him up and does another spine buster right into the metal stairs. (four) Controvert climbs back into the ring and waiting motioning for Richards to get in the ring, (five) Richards is rolling around in pain holding his back. (six) Richards climbs to one knee but the pain in his back sends him back to the floor. The referee tells Controvert to bring it back in the ring and get back in!! Controvert argues with the referee and they are face to face and this allows for Y to grab Richarsd and hurl him into the ringsteps!! Controvert backs up and slips into the ring and the referee turns to look down to ringside. (seven)
Tony D: "He's got to make a ten count or he will be counted out!"
Controvert is in the ring enjoying the pain Richards is in. (eight) Richards slaps the floor in frustration and tries to get up again. ( nine) Richards gets to one knee, and then the other, and then he is on his feet still holding his back he takes a step forward (ten) but it's too late.
The bell sounds.
Randy Long: "Your winner of the match as a result of a count out - The Controvert!"
The Controvert celebrates and is joined by Y in the ring. The referee heads to ringside to check on Richards.
Tony D: "Well technically that's a victory but again, a reluctant one!"
Kris Red: "A win is a win is a win! And dominance is dominance! That's what the ladies love, too!"
Tony D: "Fans, stil to come we've got -"
Kris Red: "Aw, you totally no-sold that."
Tony D: "We've got Dylan Daniels and Y facing off, plus StarrZoe takes on Laurel Anne Hardy, the person responsible for branding him in the chest at WARPED79! That HAD to hurt!"
Kris Red: "What the hell?! Of COURSE it hurt! It hurt JUST WATCHING!"
Tony D: "It was an all out brawl at the last show when the UK Dragons, now known as Dragons Unleashed, introduced The Asylum to WARPED and AbominationZ. They are a strong stable who have taken out a company in the past, but this time they're here to help save WARPED! And of cou-"
Kris Red: "Blah blah blah!! They can't stop AbominationZ, Tony D. You can't. They can't. Nobody in the back can. You've already seen part 1 of what we have in store tonight with the cancellation of Elite Duos and WARPED81 and trust me that's just the beginning!"
Crowbar sends off an assistant to find Kelly Calloway, Crowbars favoured backstage reporter. She comes in, camera crew and mic in hand looking slightly confused.
Kelly: “Crowbar....I heard you...wanted to see me?”
Crowbar: “Ah the beautiful Kelly! I think we should go out tonight, busy?”
Crowbar: “Sweet. Now, I want you do me a favor, you need to go and report that WARPED 81 and the Elite Duos tournament are now cancelled.”
Kelly: “Cancelled? Can you elaborate on that a little?”
Crowbar: “I can..later. Just keep your eyes peeled. Now, work calls, thanks for the time and I’ll hopefully see you tonight!”
Kelly stands for a minute looking confused before turning and leaving Crowbars office. She looks into the camera.
Kelly: “Ladies and Gentlemen, General Manager Crowbar has just announced both WARPED 81 and the Elite Duos are cancelled. No information was given as to why, but hopefully we should find out more tonight.”
Y vs. Dylan Daniels
The cameras fade back to ringside to a baffled Tony D and Kris Red.
Tony D: "Well, I am baffled."
Kris Red: "That's random! Even I don't know what's going on and I'm apart of that group. They should really keep me in the know better."
Tony D: "No more Elite Duos? No WARPED81? What is happening???"
As Y and The Controvert stand in the ring and motion on for Dylan Daniels, the referee tells The Controvert and SwitchBlade that they are BANNED FROM RINGSIDE! The Fans erupt in cheers and after a bit of back and forth between Y and the Controvert with the ref, Controvert is signalled by SwitchBlade and he heads up the aisle.
Tony D: "Good call by the referee to ban SwitchBlade and The Controvert from ringside, especially after what we've seen in the past from that duo."
Kris Red: "Honestly that's a bunch of bullshit and you know it!"
"I'll Cast A Shadow" by Pantera hits the PA. Dylan Daniels walks out to the top of the ramp wearing a pinstripe suit and holding a microphone.
Tony D: "Why isn't he dressed to wrestle?"
Kris Red: "Who knows, Tony D?! Maybe he's still feeling the effects of that turnbuckle!"
Dylan motions for the music to be cut and doesn't move passed the entrance ramp.
Dylan Daniels: "Let me guess.. Why am I not in my trunks? Why am I not already whooping your ass?"
He pauses to adjust his cufflinks.
Dylan Daniels: "Why ask, Y? Truth be told. I get paid a lot to step between those ropes. Tonight is a different story! Tonight, well yesterday rather. I was paid triple to not wrestle you and simple just to run my mouth!
On the other side of the ring the Carnival Connection begin making their way through the crowd.
Tony D: "Is that who I think it is coming through the crowd?"
Kris Red: "Hush, Tony D! Listen to what the man has to say!"
Dylan Daniels "The funny thing is, I had this whole speech planned out. I was going to bring the Pro Wrestling Honor title with me. You know, the one I dissected with a log splitter. The one that I laid at Joey Matthew's feet."
Kris Red: "Wow, I forgot all about that, Tony D!"
Tony D: "How could you? He reminds us about it all the time!"
CCNX slither under the bottom rope, careful not to touch it so it doesn't warn Y prematurely.
Dylan Daniels: "Then I heard the sounds of money being counted. Let's just say.. My loyalty is now for sale! Boys.."
Y receives a pair of double axe handles sending him to the canvas and Dylan Daniels makes his way to the back. Carnival Connection continue their attack. Mr. Rottentreats reaches into his shorts and retrieves his nine inch nail and begins to dig into Y's masked head.
Kris Red: "The boys are back in town, Tony D!"
Tony D:"The boys?"
Kris Red: "Of course! My brothers in AbominationZ!"
Tony D: "This is a heinous act! They're.."
Kris Red: "Ripping him a new ass! ON HIS FACE!"
Treats sits Y up in the middle of the ring and Douglas rebounds off the ropes only to kick Y in the head!
The Controvert then bolts to the ring and as soon as he slides in he gets a beatdown by both CCNX! They then hurl his ass out of the ring and he crashes at ringside! CCNX grab the referee and toss him out of the ring and Treats shouts "This match is cancelled!" and they laugh as they head out of the ring and head through the crowd.
Tony D: "What in the hell!?"
Kris Red: "Carnival Connection is back up in it, Tony D!!"
Tony D: "We haven't seen them in WEEKS! I thought they quit?!"
Kris Red: "Tony D don't you worry your pretty little head. It's all happening tonight and that is only a part of the plan!"
Tony D: "What in the world could you be talking about???"
Kris Red: "The end, Tony D. The end!"
We cut to the car park, where Evangelista and Serena Raine are standing staring at the camera. The Jokers Wild are either side of them, and towering over all of them is Cerberus resting a huge metal spike over one shoulder, which has piledriver-style handles.
Blakjak: "Some folk would say that the ball's in their court now."
Serena Raine: "But see, that's not exactly our style."
Evangelista: "An' if you've been payin' attention over the last six months or so, you'll know it ain't exactly AbominationZ' style either. This isn't a game of tennis. We don't take turns where we wait to see what the other lot are gonna do."
Serena Raine: "We strike, and we keep striking. We push, and we keep pushing."
The group starts slowly walking over to a large vehicle: AbominationZ' tour bus. The same bus Laurel and Leanne broke into and vandalised months ago.
Evangelista: "Laurel's gonna humiliate Alex in the ring tonight, but that's not enough."
They come to a rest by the front corner and Cerberus hefts the spike off his shoulder.
Cerberus: "Neither is this. But it's a start."
He swings the spike into the wheel hard, and the tyre pops. Then he crosses to the other front wheel and caves that one in too. The whole front of the vehicle slowly sinks down. The group start walking to the rear of the bus.
Blakjak: "Fucks like AbominationZ can't call foul when someone else fights unfair against them."
Spades: Well, technically they can, but we don't have to give a shit if they do.
They reach the back and Cerberus swings the spike into the two rear wheels in succession, causing the bus to list. Then they walk round to the final corner.
Spades: "Y'know, if Laurel was here right now, she'd probably have pasted one of AbominationZ' faces on each of the hubcaps."
Blakjak: "Shit, man, that's not bad. Why didn't we think of that? Hey, is it too late to do that?"
Cerberus smashes in the last two wheels.
Spades: "Pity. Oh well."
Blakjak: "We'll have to find something else to do with AbominationZ' faces."
With a grunt, Cerberus throws the spike back onto his shoulders.
Cerberus: "I've a couple of ideas..."
Serena and Evangelista stare into the camera again.
Evangelista: "Ball's still not in your court."
Serena Raine: "But hey. Do whatever you think you can to us; we'll trump it. We promise."
And on that, we fade out.
The #1 contender for William Wallace’s AbominationZ World Heavyweight Championship, Hugo Strange exits the locker room into the hallway, looking down at his fists as he wraps them in tape, preparing for his main event title bout. His mind distracted by the possible glory of his win, he bumps directly into former World Champion Alexander StarrZoë, who stands strong, staring up at the taller man. Starr holds up his old WARPED Heavyweight Title and shoves it into the face of the bewildered man.
Starr: “The WARPED World Title, won my first in October of 2011. Cemented my legacy here in this dump. Held it for 5 months, missed SwitchBlade’s record by one month. Seems like times have changed though, huh? Now a days, this title belt here is a relic I use to break up bud on and Wallace is the AbominationZ World Champion. More so, the target on the champ’s chest is bigger. Heavy is the head that wears the crown around here kid. Can you handle the pressure? Tick-tock goes the fucking clock Hugo. Don’t buy into the hype and bullshit, don’t let them rally you up and get into your head. Follow your own path. Use the opportunities being offered to you, but build your own legacy.”
Starr reaches into his jean pocket and pulls out a wad of bills. He throws three hundred-dollar bills at Hugo’s feet; “decisions, decisions, decisions, huh?”
Starr: “This life is short and surviving this business is expensive. See that $300? Consider it a leaning lesson. When you’ve got success and power, afforded to you by the World Championship, cash like that is nothing. But the second you lose the belt, you lose the ‘friends’, the support of the fans, the money, the power, the glory, EVERYTHING and suddenly, you’re left with nothing more than faded memories and old DVDs.”
Starr hands another 2 hundred-dollar bills to Hugo and tilts his head quizzically.
Starr: “Remember, around here, all that gets you by is your heart and your wallet, can you afford to succeed? Keep in mind who controls this place and who signs your paychecks, eh kid?”
StarrZoë pats Hugo on the shoulder and turns on his heel walking away, leaving the World Championship challenger bemused and dazed, staring down at $500.
FnX Rules Match
Alexander StarrZoe vs. Laurel Anne Hardy
Fade back to the ringside area...
Randy Long: “The following match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, hailing from North Whales, being accompined to the ring by Evangelista, one half of the Dragons Unleashed…LAAURRELL ANNNEEE HAARRDDYY!”
The opening notes to Glass Candy's "Candy Castle" hit the speakers and Laurel Anne Hardy dances onstage, being trailed by Evangelista. She runs back and forth on her way to the ring, high fiving and hugging fans, then leaps onto the apron and vaults over the top rope. She continues dancing in the ring, while Evangelista takes her place at ringside.
Tony D: “Laurel Anne Hardy looks prepared for a fight here tonight.”
Kris Red: “And that’s exactly what Starr is going to give her. She’s going to get beaten bloody with everything he can get his hands on! Hardy specializes in tag team matches, Starr specializes in beating people.”
Tony D: “Then how come he couldn’t beat Hugo Strange or William Wallace in three separate matches? How come WARPED 79’s tag team match went to a draw?”
Kris Red: “Even God rested on the 7th day…”
Hardy paces the ring, looking around the building, knowing she has the fans support, but knowing just how dangerous of an enviorement she is in, one-on-one against the former World Champion Alexander StarrZoë in an F’n’X match, a match which Starr made his name off of in WARPED Wrestling.
Randy Long: And her opponent, from Philadelphia, PA, weighing in at 237lbs, representing the AbominationZ, being accompanied to the ring by Rampage…ALLLEXXXANNDDEER STARRRZOOOEEE!”
The houselights in the small venue dim as spotlights twirl around the building, focusing on the ring and the small entrance ramp. Multicolored orbs dance around the canvas as "Who Shot Ya?" by the Notorious B.I.G. begins to blast through the public announce system while the top of the metal ramp fills with smoke. Alexander StarrZoë emerges from the smoke to the booing of the fans, pushing a shopping cart full of weapons; steel chairs, kendo sticks, tables, and a can of gasoline, Rampage behind him on the ramp.. Alex struts down the ramp, cursing the fans sitting ringside and spitting at their feet. Starr leaves the cart at ringside climbs to the top turnbuckle, staring into the people while Rampage takes a seat at the announcer’s table. Hopping into the ring, Starr climbs up on the second rope, facing the fans, and raises his fist into the air as the fans boo.
Tony D: “And now it looks like we’re being joined by Starr’s bodyguard, which is strange because why would such a ‘tough and fearless’ man need a bodyguard?”
Kris Red: “Rampage is just Starr’s childhood friend and a rehabilitated criminal that needs a steady job.”
Tony D: “I think he’s just hired muscle because Starr’s mouth tends to get him in trouble.”
Rampage (Interrupting the conversation): “No one asked you what you think.”
Kris Red: “That’s right Tony, shut the hell up.”
StarrZoë stares down the ring at Laurel, knowing the pain in his side was caused by the tag team specialist, knowing as well that she is capable of causing him much greater pain. Starr looks outside of the ring at Evangelista, who stares right back at him, unmoving. There’s a knowing look in Starr’s eyes, aware of how dangerous these two women are. Alex cracks his knuckles and stretches his legs, switching his gaze to former WARPED Tag Team Champion Laurel Anne Hardy. “What are we going to do tonight babe?” StarrZoë screams sarcastically across the ring, smiling sweetly at Laurel, as though he’s talking to a prom date. Laurel just grimaces in disgust, opting not to respond. “Don’t worry,” Alex laughs; “by the end of the night, you’ll be screaming in pain.” Laurel gets angry; “stop fucking talking and lets fight already!” The referee calls for the bell as the two competitors square off. Laurel starts off her offense charging at Starr, colliding into the former champion with a clothesline, which sends him quickly to the mat. Alex jumps to his feet, a bit shocked by the showing of his opponent. The veteran Starr bounces off of the ropes, rolling to avoid Laurel and, the younger girl disoriented now, gets caught in a quick kick to the gut-DDT combo.
Alexander pulls Hardy up by the hair and whips her into the ropes, charging after her, only to have Laurel counter the move at the last moment, holding onto the ropes, pulling them down as Starr goes soaring over the top, smacking the barricade as he lands on the outside. Without missing a beat, Laurel Anne runs to the third turnbuckle and launches off toward the ringside area with a Missile Dropkick, her boots landing square in the chest of the former AbominationZ World Champion as he struggles to his feet. Alex is staring up at the lights and Hardy is quickly scrambling to her feet and pulling up StarrZoë. With his back to Laurel, she charges toward him, gripping him by the back of the neck, preparing to drive his face to the mat with a bulldog. Starr however counters, grabbing her around the waist, holding her suspended in the air, carrying her toward the ring apron and dropping her hard on the apron. “Chink bitch!” StarrZoë screams, spitting at her.
Tony D: “That’s just uncalled for.”
Kris Red: “Starr can do whatever he wants, he’s Starr!”
Tony D: “I don’t care who he is, I don’t think that’s right, that’s just…”
Rampage: “Again, no one asked you what you think.”
The Messiah of Mayhem is back in the ring for only a second, rolling out of the ring again, on the side closest to the entrance ramp and his shopping cart of weapons. Grabbing two steel chairs, a kendo stick, and a half dozen glass light tubes, he rolls the objects under the bottom rope and follows them in. Thinking quickly, Starr throws the chair square at the back of Hardy as she’s regaining her composure and quickly climbs the second rope, soaring through the air and landing atop the one time WARPED Tag Team Champion with a beautiful Springboard Flipping Dive. However it would seem Alex took more of the impact as he landed skull first on the security rail. The shorter competitor makes her way to a standing position first and picks up the steel chair that hit her just moments ago. Shrugging, Laurel uses one hand to position Starr’s face against the steel railing in front of him and swings the chair, smashing Alexander’s face between the railing and steel of the chair. She repeats this process twice before throwing the chair aside. Hardy picks up Starr by the hair and quickly positions herself behind him, gripping him under each arm and slamming him to the ground with a Full Nelson Facebuster.
Tony D: “If StarrZoë wasn’t bleeding before because of those chair shots, he certainly is now. Rampage, we saw Starr training earlier this week for this match, do you think he’s prepared for this?”
Rampage: “Training? He wasn’t training. That dude went all fucking Tony Montana, got fiend out and smacked himself in the head on some silly shit.”
Tony D: “I don’t think all those beatings are going to help him withstand another, which he’s taking right now.”
Rampage: “Dawg, you got a whole lotta fucking opinions no one asked you for don’t you? Now shut the hell up before I shut you the hell up!”
Kris Red: “Yeah, you heard him Tony, be quiet.”
Back at ringside, Laurel is pulling no punches, bringing the steel chair down over the back and the head of Starr repeatedly, as the fans count the shots; “3…4…5…6…7…” On the 7th strike, Starr moves out of the way, Hardy connecting with the floor. The former World Champion struggles to his feet, now gushing blood from his face. Alex looks like a man possessed as he suddenly tastes his own blood, licking it from his lips as well as his fingertips. He stares directly into the eyes of his opponent as he savors his own plasma, causing a squeamish look to glaze over the face of Laurel Anne Hardy. The former Tag Team Champion charges at Alexander with a clothesline, staggering the taller man, but is left befuddled as Starr stands still. She begins delivering knife-edge chops to the bloody chest of the “Most Entertaining Man in Professional Wrestling”, but Starr doesn’t even seem to budge. Bored of this now, Alexander grabs the incoming fist of Hardy and ties it behind her back, lifting her off her feet, using her arm as leverage and hurling her back into the ring. With a determined look on his face, Starr slides back into the ring on his stomach, a sickening smile on his face. He grips up a light tube and smashes it across the skull of the Japanese woman. As glass shatters everywhere, Alex picks up a second one and rolls Hardy onto her back. Without thinking twice, Starr delivers a second blow with a light tube, this time to the defenseless girl’s stomach.
Rampage: “Damn, this Chinese bitch is catching an ass whippin’!”
Tony D: “Actually, Laurel Anne is Japanese…what are you even doing out here Rampage? No one notified us before hand that you would be joining us.”
Rampage: “Dawg, this AbominationZ Wrestling, we don’t need permission to do shit, you ask us permission before you even breath. Make me correct you one again! I swear to Jesus himself, you’ll be laid the fuck out worse than that bitch in the ring.”
In the ring, Alexander has sunken to a sitting position in the turnbuckle, laughing to himself as he observes the carriage he has caused. Hardy is rolling around on the mat in pain, bleeding now from the back of the head and stomach, shards of glass glistening in the light. “Stupid chink bitch…dumb gypsy cunt…” Alex mutters, almost to himself, laughing manically now as he feels his hair, pulling his hands away, dyed a deep red color. “NEVER FUCK WITH ME!” Hardy unleashes a primal scream as she stands, a now distant and scary look in her eye. She runs at Starr, delivering a skull-shattering boot to the face of the seated man. She repeats the process a second time and stands over Alex, surveying the damage, her eyes growing wide with what she sees; Starr is still laughing; “I’ve fucked girls rougher than you…” he says, spitting blood and a tooth to the mat, knocked loose by the dual kicks. Giving up the easy approach, Hardy screams out; “fuck this!” and leaves the ring, returning with a kendo stick from the shopping cart. Seeing this, Alex struggles to his feet, the fight returning to him.
Hardy swings the stick at stomach level but Alex, mustering up all his strength, jumps clean over the stick and lands again, laughing in the face of his angered opponent. “Too slow bit…” is all that makes it out of his mouth before the kendo stick comes crashing down over his head. “I told you to stop fucking talking so much!” Hardy screams, bringing the stick down over his chest and skull. Using her foot, Hardy positions Starr, sprawling him out, his arms over his head, leaving his ribcage and the branding exposed. Paying special attention to his new scarring, Laurel drives the point of the kendo stick into the brand on Starr’s side, jabbing at the freshly healed wound. Drawing blood from his side, Hardy brings the weapon down over the cuts twice before purposely breaking the stick in two and bringing the pieces down over Alexander’s back like she was playing drums.
Rampage: “GOD DAMN that bitch is rough…”
Starr, in a struggle to get to his feet, grips Laruel by her ankle and pulls her down, pulling himself to one knee. “The Living, Breathing, Installation Event of the Century” fights back, kicking Alex in the head repeatedly, dazing the former champion, only to have her fights silenced by a dazed and confused though solid right hand to the jaw by Starr. Realizing he’s losing his will to fight, Starr does everything he can to get to the outside and collect his bearings. He throws a table over the top rope and grabs up his trusty gas can, climbing back into the ring. “See who plays with fire now cunt…” Alexander mutters to himself, setting up the table and dosing it in gasoline as the crowd “oohs!”. Before Starr can do the inevitable however, Evangelista has intervened in the match for the first time, grabbing the table by the leg from outside of the ring, pulling it just out of Starr’s reach.
Rampage: “What the hell was that? That bitch ain’t supposed to do that!”
Tony D: “There’s no rules in an F’n’X match, technically she can do anything she wants and I’m surprised she sat around so long and watched this match. Come to think of it, I’m surprised you have as well.”
Back in the ring again, Laurel has made it to her feet and has gained the upper hand on StarrZoë, dropping him to the mat with a Shinning Wizard from behind. Seeing what Starr was planning, Hardy shrugs and makes the best of the situation, reaching onto the mat where a pack of matches lie and strikes one against her boot, dropping it on the table. The table goes up in flames and Hardy sees her first opportunity to end this back and fourth match, featuring too many beatings and too much action to even consider a pin fall or submission before. Picking her spot perfectly, she waits behind Alex as he struggles to his feet and prepares to drive Starr through the flames with a Running Bulldog onto the table. Again, she is halfway through the move, already having gripped Alex by the neck when Starr stops her momentum and reverses it, driving her through the table with a Reverse Sitout Powerbomb.
Tony D: “OH MY GOD! LAUREL ANNE HARDY JUST WENT THROUGH THAT FLAMING TABLE. MY GOD. I THINK SHE’S DEAD!”
Rampage: “I can only hope dawg.”
Starr is the first to struggle slowly to his feet and makes a cover. The referee counts, the building falls silent in disappointment; “1..2…KICKOUT!” Somehow, the Dragons Unleashed founder finds it in her to continue on, kicking out at the very last second. Alex pulls her up and whips her against the ropes, but as she bounces back, she grabs Starr by the hair and throws him, with all her momentum, landing him over the top rope, back first against the announcer’s table. With all the fight drained from her, Laurel struggles to climb the third rope and launches through the air with a beautiful Corkscrew Shooting Star Elbow Drop. Unfortunately for Hardy, she over shoots her target and ends up making contact with Rampage, sending him backwards into the guardrail and the tag team specialist lands on the metal as well. Alexander mean while is still lying on the mat at ringside. Rampage, grazed more so than anything else and pissed off now for being involved in the match, quickly stands and pulls up Hardy by her hair Gorilla Pressing her through the announce table, splintering the wood into a thousand pieces. Without warning however, Evangelista, seeing the attack, comes to the aid of her partner with a Diving Moonsault, landing atop Rampage.
In the commotion of everything StarrZoë has made his way to his feet and is pulling Evangelista off of Rampage and throws her into the ring post. Rampage and Starr pull up Hardy, gripping her by the throat and slamming her to the outside with a Double Chokeslam. Not to be out down however, the other half of the Dragons now dazed and bleeding from the forehead, returns to the fight with the branding iron Starr was acquainted with two weeks ago. Alexander StarrZoë meets his foe again, this time it knocks him out cold, but Evangelista is too late on her second swing, being grabbed by the neck and chokeslammed into the second row of fans by Rampage. The referee, seeing the condition of both competitors signals toward Randy Long and directs him toward the microphone.
Randy Long: “Due to both Starr and Laurel Anne Hardy being inncapactaed and unable to continue the fight, the referee has declared this match-up a No Contest.”
Rampage quickly grabs Starr up and supports him with one hand, dragging him to the ramp and back toward the locker room, looking back at the fallen members of Dragons Unleashed.
Kris Red: “Well, judging by the fact that Rampage and Starr are walking out of here, and the Dragons are bleeding and unconscious, I suppose the good guys win again. We did it, the AbominationZ win!”
Tony D: “Rampage is literally dragging Starr out of the ring for his own safety and Starr is bleeding worse than both Hardy and Evangelista. How did he win? The referee even declared it a no contest!”
Kris Red: “He goes on to fight another day. He’s not being taken away, he’s being strategically relocated to plan his next attack. Starr is always one step ahead. That’s why he’s a winner!”
The scene fades backstage as AbominationZ own and General Manager Crowbar is seen opening up the back doors at the venue here in the Hammerstein Ballroom. He holds the door and in walks about twenty men in all black with SECURITY written on the back of their shirts.
Crowbar: "Glad you could make it, gentlemen. We have work to do."
Crowbar closes the door and he leads the security down the hallway.
Main Event: WARPED World Championship Match
William Wallace(c) vs. Hugo Strange
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WARPED Wrestling WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger: From Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 315 pounds, he is HUGO.. STRANGE!"
As the riffs for ”Check My Brain starts Hugo steps out and looks across the fans as he makes his way the ring taunting and flipping off the fans. As Hugo gets to the ring he rolls in under the bottom rope and stands up talking shit to the fans and anybody in the ring.
Tony D: "The former Evolution Champion is now looking to do WARPED proud tonight and take on the AbominationZ front man William Wallace and take the title!"
Kris Red: "This guy is a joke! First off he was Co-Evolution Champion and it was with that skank Kandi Washington and second of all LEON STONE is now the Evolution Champion and not Hugo. Why is Hugo getting this shot?!"
Tony D: "He made the challenge at WARPED79 and Crowbar is the GM and well he accepted on Wallace's behalf. Pretty simple if you ask me!!"
Kris Red: "Hugo should use that money that Starr gave him and go get a gym membership and stop wasting our time with this nonsense.
"Hugo! Hugo! Hugo!" chants fill the Hammerstein Ballroom.
Randy Long: "And his opponent... from Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at 254 pounds, he is a proud member of The AbominationZ and is the WORLD CHAMPION - William Wallace!"
Boos rain down, The arena blacks out as Crank by Psyko Dalek begins to play. After about 40 seconds of the song the crowd erupt with more boos as Wallace appears through the curtain with the World Title, the giant AbominationZ logo plastered over it and all. He is lit up by one single spot light as he walks to the ring with a focused look on his face. He makes his way to the side of the ring and slowly climbs the stairs before climbing through the ropes into the ring.
Tony D: "The very proud World Champion, William Wallace, makes his way to the ring tonight. This is his first title defense since shockingly beating Starr just a few weeks back."
Kris Red: "Tony, he is the ABOMINATIONZ WORLD CHAMPION! Respect him and respect us!!"
The lights return to normal and the referee holds the World Title in the air and the fans applaud with respect for the history of the title. He hands it off to the ring attendant and the bell sounds!
Tony D: "And here we go! A huge main event for New York City tonight in a sold out Hammerstein Ballroom. It's the 11 month rookie Hugo Strange challenging the 9 year veteran William Wallace for the biggest prize in this company and dare I say it the world!"
They tie up and Strange locks in a side headlock. Wallace pushes Strange into the ropes and he returns with a shoulder knockdown. Wallace gets to his feet.. They tie up again and Strange backs Wallace into the corner. They exchange strikes back and forth until the referee tells them to split it up from the corner.
Tony D: "Hugo Strange is aggressively going after William Wallace!"
Kris Red: "What a bore!"
Wallace locks in a side headlock and Strange elbows him in the gut to escape. He chops him to the mat. Wallace comes back with a right hand, which Strange follows up with a headbutt.
Kris Red: "Hey! You can't use the headbutt on Wallace!!"
Strange lands a kick to the gut and another chop. Strange whips the World Champ into the ropes but he hangs on! Strange charges Wallace, who moves, and crashes to the outside. Wallace smirks as the fans chant "Let's Go HUGO!" repeatedly.
Tony D: "The fans in the Hammerstein Ballroom clearly behind Hugo Strange tonight."
Kris Red: "Who gives a damn!"
Wallace gets out on the floor and Strange levels him with a lariat! Strange picks Wallace up and sends him into the barrier. Strange smiles as he approaches Wallace. The referee starts a 10 count and tells Strange to bring it back in!! (one..) Strange pulls Wallace up but Wallace fights back with punches and Strange knees him in the gut! (two..) Strange then brings Wallace up and powerbombs him onto the floor!! (three..)
Kris Red: "WHAT IN THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING?!"
The referee tells Hugo to bring it in the ring or get disqualified or counted out!! Strange slips into the ring to break the count and shrugs at the ref. He then leaves the ring and brings Wallace to his feet and leads him around the ring. He hurls him face-first into the barricade! (one!..)
Tony D: "Hugo Strange is on his game tonight and he is taking it to the champ!"
Kris Red: "No no no!! This is NOT an FnX Match! He can't just do this!"
Strange now knees Wallace in the gut and plants his face on the ringsteps!
He sends Wallace into the ring and the referee gets in Hugo's face as he enters the ring and tells him to keep it in the ring! Hugo starts arguing with him and the referee tells him he is not taking anyone's shit tonight after what happened to his collegue earlier with CCNX! Suddenly Wallace charges in with a big BOOT to the face! Wallace then SPITS on Hugo and brings him to his feet and hoists him onto his shoulder. He charges and drives him to the mat with a running power slam!!
Kris Red: "Ha ha! He's back!"
Wallace makes the cover but Strange immediately kicks out and this angers Wallace who now brings Strang eup to his feet and locks in an Abdominal Stretch. Hugo tries to fight out of it but Wallace has him tied up in the middle of the ring. Wallace stretches him some more as the fans try to cheer their favorite on. Hugo elbows Wallace in the jaw and manages to escape and he tries for a hip toss but Wallace LEVELS HIM with a huge LARIAT~!
Kris Red: "NICE TRY!"
Tony D: "Boy that clothesline looks like it took the air right out of Hugo Strange."
Wallace brings Strange up and shoves him up against the corner and delivers repeated right hands. The referee tries to back him up but Wallace pushes him away and starts kicking Strange in the gut, causing him to drop down. The referee pushes wallace and tells him to keep his damn hands off of him or he will DQ him!! Wallace tells him to go right ahead!
Tony D: "It'd be just like William Wallace to get himself deliberately disqualified in order to keep the World Title!"
Kris Red: "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, Tony D! But you wouldn't know anything about being a man."
Strange uses the distraction to pull himself up and level Wallace with a clothesline of his own! Wallace is quick to his feet and Hugo hits a spinning double hammer fist!
Tony D: "Vortex Hammer!"
Hugo now goes for the Stretch Muffler but Wallace wraps his foot around the ropes and the referee tells Hugo to release it! Hugo backs away and Wallace runs in with a SPEAR! Wallace covers..
Tony D: "Hugo stays alive!"
Wallace brings him up and applies the reverse waist lock, trying for a Scottish (german) Suplex, but Hugo grabs onto the top rope. Wallace pulls him though and is able to hit the move anyway! Hugo grabs his neck as Wallace gets to his feet and soaks in the boos from the crowd. He measures Hugo off as he pushes himself up off of the mat and he then looks to lock in the LOCH NESS (Tazmission) but Hugo flips him over onto the mat. Hugo goes for the Full Nelson Slam, but Wallace elbows out. Wallace then pulls him in for a headbutt, but Strange puts his hands up and slaps Wallace in the face! He quickly pulls Wallace between his legs, setting him up for the Leaping Package Piledriver, but Wallace counters and sweeps the legs out from under him, and then slingshots him into the top turnbuckle face-first!!
Tony D: "They are going back and forth here!!"
Wallace is up and ready for Strange as he staggers away from the corner. He lifts him up for a Spinebuster but Strange counters into a DDT!!
The fans pop!!
Tony D: "A sudden counter after counter by both Hugo and William Wallace!! This could go either way now!"
Both men are down and the referee begins a 10 count... 1... 2... 3...
Tony D: "Who will answer the count first?!"
Kris Red: "Somebody needs to drug test Hugo Strane because A his temper lately has been Scott Steiner levels and B where is he getting this strength and whereabouts from tonight?!?!!? HE'S IN THE RING WITH WILLIAM WALLACE!!"
Tony D: "And it is for the World Championship of WARPED Wrestling and here they go!!"
Both men get to their feet and begin trading right hands repeatedly. Wallace gets the upper hand on Hugo and sends him into the ropes and ducks down for a backdrop but Hugo pulls him in for the Leaping Package, but Wallace backdrops out of it! He points to his head and smiles as Hugo gets up and Wallace hits a big Spinebuster!! Wallace wastes no time as he then pulls Strange to his feet and sets him up for a Powerbomb, but Strange backdrops out of it!! Strange gets up and points to his head and mocks Wallace and as Wallace gets to his feet, Strange pulls him in and hits the PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!
Tony D: "STD!!"
He then brings him back to his feet and hits the PACKAGE PILEDRIVER AGAIN!
Tony D: "ANOTHER ONE!!"
Strange gets up and nearly loses his footing backing into the ropes and staggers back toward Wallace and brings him to his feet. Wallace then suddenly fights back and powers Strange into the corner!! Wallace steps back and is very dazed and then charges into the corner but Wallace takes a boot to the face! Starnge pulls him in and hops onto the second buckle. He then brings Wallace up between his legs and leaps off with a second rope PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!!!
Tony D: "OH MY GOODNESS!!"
The fans pop huge and Strange makes the cover..
Tony D: "HUGO WINS THE TITLE!"
The bell rings as Hugo picks up the victory.
Kris Red: "WHAT!"
Suddenly, The AbominationZ walk out from the stage, around 20 security guards in tow. They’re seen shouting at the fans to get the hell out of the arena as security begin to jump the railings and push people towards the exits.
Tony D: "What's going on here??? Security is yelling at the fans to get out."
Wallace, now back to his feet, blindsides Hugo from behind sending him head first into the turnbuckle and the steel post, cutting him wide open. Crowbar and StarrZoe continue towards the ring yelling at people to leave, who are refusing to go anywhere. Wallace jumps out of the ring and grabs Randy Long and Kris Red, while StarrZoe grabs Tony D. He dusts off Red and tells him to leave, which he does, while the other two are thrown to the ground and kicked, told to leave.
Crowbar at this point has grabbed Randy Longs mic. He looks around at the crowd and rolls his eyes.
Crowbar: “Listen, get out now. I’m not fucking around, and here’s a surprise for you: this isn’t a goddamn storyline, this isn’t a work, an angle, whatever you want to call it, get the hell out of the building now or the wonderful clause of ‘WARPED is not responsible for any injuries sustained at an event’ will start to come into effect. WARPED 81 is now cancelled. As is 82, and every future show. You do not get refunds. Elite Duos is cancelled. So, sorry to Pittsburgh, Providence..actually I don’t give a fuck. WARPED IS CANCELLED. GET. OUT.”
Crowbar drops the mic as the crowd look genuinely confused as they’re being pushed out the doors of the Hammerstein Ballroom. The three men then begin to grab the announce table and begin tearing it apart, kicking and demolishing it. They hunt under the ring and find fire axes placed there in case of emergency and begin to use them against the railings and the outside parts of the ring, managing to slice the ropes in half. Destroying any camera and microphone cables also unfortunate enough to be in the way.
Leaving one cable active, only one camera functions, which shows the men and a few remaining security guards start to dismember the WARPED entrance. Wallace motions to the back as a forklift suddenly pierces WARPEDVision and begins raising it, the men kicking and punching it as it lifts up, eventually breaking into pieces and falling to the ground.
Cameras then show two men who returned earlier in the night, Mr. Rottentreats and Douglas Fresh, tearing down the mounted spotlights and hurling hatchets into them, causing them to explode.
Darkness begins to fill the venue as further destruction is caused and fans continue to be ushered out.
The camera then switches to the WARPEDVision stage where it suddenly comes tumbling down. Crowbar hops out of a forklift that was responsible with tipping the near brand new stage over. He, along with Starr, and Wallace, and a few of their own security, walk over and push the remaining entrance scaffolding down, ripping off the WARPED logo and throwing it like a frisbee. Crowbar motions to the back for an angle grinder which is brought out by Kris Red who promptly runs backstage again. He starts cutting into the stage scaffolding, splitting it bit by bit before handing it off to Wallace to finish the other side. StarrZoe starts demolishing more of the safety barriers along the entrance as Crowbar stops and listens for a minute. He signals the boys who all walk down to the ring, getting in it and pulling out lighter fluid containers from their pockets.
The men begin to spray the fluid over the semi-demolished ring, before Crowbar and StarrZoe pull out their lighters, flick them and chuck them down, the ring engulfed in flames
With fans continuing to scream and scattering, all of AbominationZ begin to come together on the middle of the ramp. All around them is nothing. What used to be a mountainous region of WARPEDVision, barricades, a ring, commentary table, etc, is now a flatlands of nothingness. It’s as if a tornado swept through the building. Security is shown shoving fans through the EXIT doors. They then shove a camera man down and the camera loses connection.
The camera on the ramp is the final camera working, and Crowbar signals for him to get in tight to film this.
Crowbar: “You tried fucking with us and said you’d destroy us? That’s never going to happen. We don’t need this company, and we don’t need to fight you, because there is no more WARPED, and there is no more you. There is no more anything! WE ARE IN CONTROL! You can’t fucking do a thing about it.”
“FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEADS AND GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, NOW!”
Suddenly a frantic look covers the faces of AbominationZ members. The cameraman zooms back and shows six police officers pointing their guns at the wrestlers.
“GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING GROUND, NOW!”
The solo cameraman shakingly pans to the right and shows police forcing the hired security to stop what they’re doing and also put their hands up and behind their heads.
“HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEADS!!”
The sole cameraman shakingly then turns back to the AbominationZ members, who cautiously put their hands behind their heads and start dropping to their knees.
“GET DOWN NOW! DROP THE CAMERA!”
The camera shakes to the left and an officer has his gun pointed at the camera man.
“Oh shit!! yes sir!”
The camera man drops the camera and we can only assume that he’s now followed orders. All we can see is a sideways shot of the knees of AbominationZ members on the left, and the feet of the police on the right. The police’s feet head toward AbominationZ, when suddenly AbominationZ get off of their knees.
“STOP OR WE WILL SHOOT!” shout the police.
The camera then suddenly gets pushed by somebody or something in the commotion.
The picture drops.
Static is heard.
A gunshot is fired.
"Hope you’re hungry! ‘Cause I got a Knuckle Sandwich... WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"
- Lunchbox Larry