|WARPED 75 - 4/6/13 - Osaka, Japan - Osaka Prefectural Gymnasium|
WARPED has grown significantly since launching in February 2010, but it's not been a fast growth. We've taken our time and worked through the growing pains, but timing is everything. For the first time in our 3 years of existence, WARPED heads to the Orient.
WARPED kicks off the Global Domination 2013 Tour with a doubleshot weekend in Japan - starting with Osaka and heading to Tokyo the next night.
We'll be just three weeks removed from the Third Anniversary Show, where The AbominatinoZ continued to showcase their dominance in an attempt to take over control of WARPED
-and in a lot of ways, they did-
It'd been one whole year since Alexander StarrZoe had lost the World Title. On March 17, 2013, in his third match with William Wallace, he picked up his first victory over the Scotsman and reclaimed the WARPED Wrestling World Championship. However, it'd appear he'd rather be called the AbominationZ Champion. Not only did he admit to the stabbing of (now former) World Champion William Wallace, but he would then mock it later in the night after winning the title.
Kandi Washington was revealed as the 5th member of AbominationZ, and the person who played a major role in the attack on William Wallace outside of his hotel in Vegas back in January. She is now a Co-Evolution Champion with Hugo Strange, and who knows how that relationship will work out. Crowbar has already stated that the title will be defended solo, and if either loses it, both lose the title.
Despite losing in their rematch against the UK Dragons for the WARPED Tag Team Titles, CarnEvil Connection will get another shot (and their final shot) at the Osaka show. There are also numerous questions regarding the two newcomers led by SwitchBlade that invaded the Tag Title match. We hope to find out more about them as they make their in-ring debut in Tokyo.
The story continues.. as AbominationZ have apparently signed on WARPED Wrestling's color commentator, Kris Red, to their roster, in some fashion. How will this effect his future commentating with Tony D or his long-time friendship with PKA? And have PKA & Dylan Daniels decided to team after all? PKA alleges that CarnEvil Connection attacked them backstage, but no evidence proves it.
In more unknowns, it's rumored that Anton Chase & Cameron MacNichol are being considered as a full-time tag team, but Anton seems to be more focused on getting back the Evolution Title. The same can be said about Leon Stone, who's seemingly on the outs with his partner Damien Baine. And where do The Brothers Stanton come into all of this? The new tag team could swoop in and take it all with all of the turmoil in the Tag Team Division.
More stars such as the "Lone Wolf" Jason Richards, Japan's own Tin & Vo Li, Bushido & Justin Reyes, plus a possible surprise returning WARPED talent will be on hand for both shows!
Finally, we ask these questions: After the clear disrespect and dismembering of the WARPED banner at the conclusion of the 3rd Anniversary, and the words said by General Manager Crowbar that they are in control, what will be the consequences? Will President Joey Matthew step in and take charge? What does Taurus Capone, along with RaShawn TiTan & Dion, have to do in this scenario? And William Wallace - what's his mindset and where is his head at after all that went down?
With all of that, and the 1st Quarter SQUARIAN winner of 2013, this is sure to be a busy weekend for WARPED.
Main Event: WARPED Tag Team Championship CAGE MATCH
Tag Team Match
*Card Subject to Change
|WARPED 75 - 4/6/13 - Osaka, Japan - Osaka Prefectural Gymnasium|
You open the DVD of WARPED 75 and enter it into your favorite DVD player. The sounds of "Pogo" by Digitalism play as the WARPED Wrestling logo floats down from the top to the middle of the screen. Underneath that fades in to words "Play DVD". You click... and the show begins...
The first scene on the DVD fades into the ringside area where we see Tony D sitting next to one of the newest AbominatinZ members, his color commentary partner, Kris Red.
Tony D: "We are coming to you from Osaka Japan at the Osaka Prefectural for the hottest wrestling out there. Hi everyone, along with Kris Red, I am Tony D for this exciting event we have tonight in our first tour of Japan. We are three weeks removed from the most shocking, startling, one of the most disappointing and disheartening events of WARPED Wrestling. At the Third Anniversary Show, the entire group known as The AbominationZ spat in the face of WARPED, destroyed the WARPED logo, took complete control and so much more."
Kris Red: "Oh come on Tony D, you're being a little harsh. There was one adjective that you left out of all of that and that word is EXCITING! Because what AbominationZ did at the end of the show has never been done before and that is just the beginning."
Tony D: "It was an unwarrented, brutal attack, Kris, and you know it. I can't believe they've sunk their claws into you as well."
Kris Red: "Cool your jets, Tony D. We all need a little more excitement in our lives and that's what AbominationZ bring - excitement."
Tony D: "Well we're told that the President of WARPED, Joey Matthew, is here tonight and he plans on addressing The AbominationZ and insists on an answer."
As WARPED 75 is underway, Crowbar sits in his office, shuffling through papers, finalizing the lineup for tonight’s show and going over pay outs for the prior event. Fielding phone calls regarding the AbominationZ latest actions during the 3 Year Anniversary Show and setting up interviews for his new stable, Crowbar is obviously stressed by his work load. After hanging up the phone, the former World Champion sighs loudly and shakes his head, massaging his temples, groaning as he stares up at the ceiling; “fucking eh!” he calls out. With a sudden knock at the door, Crowbar rolls his eyes; “yeah, what is it?” the general manager asks, not expecting visitors.
The door opens to reveal the new WARPED World Champion, Alexander StarrZoë, dressed to the nines in a suit for the first show of his new reign as champion, followed in toe by a large looming figure of dark complexion, dressed radically opposed to Starr, in a sagging pair of jeans and an oversized t-shit with a fitted hat to match, the brim cocked to the side, obscuring the face of the unknown man. Starr grabs a seat in front of his friend’s desk and looks down at the championship over his shoulder, smiling.
Starr: “I need to talk to you...”
Crowbar: “What’s on your mind Alex? You’ve seemed distracted lately. We’ve been celebrating for the last two weeks, what could you possibly be upset about?”
Starr: “Well, I can’t front, the women have been hot, the weed good, and the whiskey flowing freely, it’s been fun...”
Crowbar: “Only the best for the new World Champ!”
Starr: “But now it’s back to business, and we have business that has to be settled. I don’t know who those assholes were that popped up during my match, I don’t know why Capone is back around, and personally, I don’t give a fuck. This is the probably that has been plaguing WARPED since the day I showed up; people are doing whatever they want and getting away with murder. No one is ever punished for their actions, that shit stops now. We control this place now and we’re going to run it...”
Crowbar: “With an iron fist?”
Crowbar laughs at his own jokes while StarrZoë stares at him gloomily and lights a cigarette.
Starr: “Fuck you and your jokes, no we’re going to run this place with a death grip. I’m going to strangle the life out of this place one talentless hack at a time. By the end of our reign here in WARPED, there will be no one left to challenge our power. With that said, I have a problem and that problem swung a steel chair at me the other week. I want the heads of whoever the fuck those two were on a silver platter!”
Crowbar: “Alex, relax, we have all the time and power in the world, everything will be handled when it needs to be handled. You haven’t even defended the championship once yet and you’re already gunning for everyone on the roster. Chill out, you know I’ve got your best interests in mind. Those attacks certainly were not expected, I can promise you I didn’t know Taurus Capone was going to show up in the middle of your match. I know you want retribution, but you don’t know who your fight, hell, I don’t even know who your fight is with right now. There’s too much going on at this moment. Everything will be handled, leave it to me.”
Starr leans back in the chair and crosses his leg over his knee, nodding as he exhales his cigarette.
Starr: “Very well bro, but it needs to get done. Now that we make the calls around here, I want ANYONE and EVERYONE who even looks at me the wrong way dealt with, and either we can go through the system and you can make the matches or I’ll start hanging out in the parking lot after events and curb stomping people, your call.”
Crowbar: “I’ll stay on top of it, don’t worry a bit. Just focus on the title, let me handle everything else.”
Crowbar nods wordlessly toward the unknown man standing in the corner, questioning his purpose in the room.
Starr: “That’s Rampage, he’s an old friend from my neighborhood that I bailed out of a five year sentence to do some work for us. He’s an insurance policy if you will.”
Crowbar: “He doesn’t speak much, huh?”
Starr: “I don’t pay him to talk, I pay him to fuck people up. With all these has-beens and never will be’s from Headstrong showing up and with SwitchBlade costing CarnEvil the Tag Titles, I’m not down with being jumped again. So I enlisted the help of Rampage here. He’ll accompany me to the ring, he’ll play watch down while I’m inside and outside of the ring, and he’ll be a buffer between myself and the unwashed masses of the world. Just like insurance, I shouldn’t need him but when I do, it’s great to have him. The other people in this place better pray to God that they’re never staring Rampage down in a dark alley, because I promise you, it will not end well.”
Crowbar: “Well, fair enough. Do what you feel is necessary, just don’t start killing people without letting me know first, okay?”
Starr nods and motions with his hand toward Rampage who silently opens the door for Starr. Rampage turns back toward Crowbar and before closing the door to the office calls out;
Rampage: “Nice to meet you...”
The camera cuts backstage to Kelly Calloway with Cameron MacNichol.
Kelly Calloway: "Cameron MacNichol, before we get your thoughts on your upcoming match against Jason Richards, perhaps you can shed some light on how you feel after your partner, Anton Chase, walked away from your match that you'd end up losing to the Brothers Stanton at the Third Anniversary Show."
Cameron MacNichol: "Well, to be honest, I'd say I'm pissed off, but that's too much of an understatement. The third anniversary show was a big event, not just for us as wrestlers, but for WARPED as a company. When Anton made the despicably selfish decision to walk away from our match, he not only let me, as his partner, down, he let Patrick, Joey, WARPED itself and, most importantly, the fans down. I'm all for self-preservation, but if he wants to make shit like that a regular habit, he had better find a new line of work. And from what I understand, Anton didn't even show up in Osaka tonight. But he WILL be in Tokyo tomorrow for his Evolution Title rematch, and I'll be there to confront him. I'm no proctologist, but if he needs help pulling his head out of his ass, he knows where to find me. As far as tonight goes, Jason Richards and I kick off the first ever WARPED show in Japan, and I plan on tearing the house down. As I'm sure you know, one of my wrestling idols is Mick Foley, who made a name for himself here in 1995 as the King of the Death Match. I'm not as nuts as he was, but I want this match to be just as entertaining. As long as the fans go home happy, I've done my job. Jason might be new here in WARPED, but he's in for an old-school ass-kicking.
Kelly Calloway: "All right, thank you, Cameron. Break a leg."
Singles Match: Cameron MacNichol vs. Jason Richards
Fade into the arena for the first match..
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Seattle Washington, weighing in at 195 pounds - The Lone Wolf Jason Richards!"
The lights go out as a loud howl is let out through the entire venue the music begins to play through the sound system of the venue. He appears slowly stepping through the curtain looking out of the crowd. He begins slowly walking towards the ring as he holds out his hand as the people slap it. He walks over grabbing a chair standing on it putting on foot on the guard rail making a slashing motion across is throat. He jumps down and then jumps on the apron stepping through the ropes he walks over stepping up to the second rope he let's out a howl jumping down he begins stretching in the corner staring at the entrance way waiting on his opponent ..
Randy Long: "And his opponent.. from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 200 pounds - "The Dirty Mac" Cameron MacNichol!"
As the riff of Black Sabbath’s “N.I.B.” hits the PA system, Cameron MacNichol walks out from behind the curtain arm-in-arm with his sister Dyan. They pause, he gives her a brotherly peck on the cheek, and they continue on down to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, and she prompts the audience to cheer louder.
Tony D: "It's The Dirty Mac versus The Lone Wolf in this one on one singles match and I'm personally looking forward to this one."
Kris Red: "Both of these men know how to go and I imagine they'll be doing their best tonight. At least, they better. We're in Japan!"
As the bell sounds, Cameron MacNichol & Jason Richards lock up in the middle of the ring. MacNichol backs Richards into the corner and goes for a chop, but Jason quickly moves away. Richards chops MacNichol, but MacNichol delivers a hard chop of his own and a right hand that takes Richards down to the mat. Richards gets to his feet and MacNichol delivers another chop, causing Richards to stagger back.
Tony D: "Cameron MacNichol is vicious with those knife edge chops!"
Kris Red: "But don't count out Richards. He looks like he can take 'em and give 'em out too."
MacNichol runs for a lariat, but Richards ducks and delivers a few forearm shots to the face. Richards attempts an irish whip, but MaCNichol counters and sends him into the corner. Cam charges at him but Richards brings his boots up, kicking off MacNichol and over the ropes and onto the apron. MacNichol comes at him with a right hand but Richards ducks and shoulderbutts Mac between the ropes. He attempts a suplex on MacNichol, but Cameron counters and brings Richards into the ring, but Richards slips out from behind and lands on his feet! He hits the ropes and MacNichol meets him in the middle of the ring with a spear! He covers..
Tony D: "Richards looks like he got the air taken out of him off that spear."
MacNichol brings Richards up and backs him against the ropes, delivering a knife edge chop to the chest! Richards fights back with chops of his own, and hits a low dropkick to the knee and MacNichol drops down. He then brings his head in between his legs and hooks both arms, looking for the JR Driver III, but MacNichol spins out, lifts him onto his shoulder, charges and slams him to the mat with a running powerslam! Cameron covers again..
Kris Red: "The Dirty Mac isn't letting Richards get anything going here. I wonder what's driving him so much tonight."
Tony D: "Perhaps his issues with Anton Chase are fueling him?"
Kris Red: "Or maybe he's just that damn good for a change."
MacNichol, still in full control, brings Richards to his feet and sets him up top. MacNichol cilmbs up and Richards tries to fight him off, but MacNichol delivers a headbutt and a right hand, and another right hand. He hooks his arm for a suplex, gets in position, and both men crash to the mat with a Superplex! Cameron with the cover..
MacNichol begins kicking Richards in the head repeatedly, trying to keep him down. He covers..
MacNichol picks up Richards and puts him in the corner...Irish whip to the opposite corner and MacNichol charges in but Richards gets a boot up!
Tony D: "Richards cuts off MacNichol with a boot to the face!"
MacNichol staggers backwards and Richards charges in with a Running Palm Thrust that spins MacNichol around! Richards then hits a Sitout Reverse DDT and covers!
Richards backs into the corner and sets up for the Roaring Elbow as MacNichol gets to his feet. Richards goes for it but MacNichol ducks under, hits the ropes and nails a Clothesline From Hell that sends Richards inside out! MacNichol slaps the mat and yells out as he gets to his feet. Richards starts pushing himself up off the mat and MacNichol stalks him from behind, ready to set up for the Cobra Clutch to finish it off. MacNichol goes to lock in the move, but Richards snap mares him over to the mat, stands and kicks him in the back, hits the ropes..
Kris Red: "SHINING WIZARD~!"
And he follows that up with a Standing Somersault Leg Drop!
Tony D: "What a combinatino of moves from Jason Richards!"
Richards makes the cover as the crowd goes wild!
Kris Red: "Quite a move there, kid. Not quite as good as my Red Star Press, but still nice."
Richards begins kicking MacNichol to try and keep him down, but MacNichol gets to his feet and pushes Richards into the ropes. Richards comes back with a kick, but MacNichol grabs ahold and Richards hits an Enziguri! MacNichol drops to one knee, and Richards grabs him by his head, but MacNichol pushes him back into the ropes, and Richards bounces back to go for a kick to the face, but Mac grabs his foot and pushes him back. Richards hops back and into the ropes, but Richards comes right back with the Roaring Elbow!
Tony D: "The third time of pushing him away didn't work so well! Roaring Elbow! And he sets it up for.."
Cameron is stunned and out on his feet as Richards grabs him from behind with a belly to back suplex but flips him over and onto his skull Tombstone style!
Tony D: "Emerald City Flash~!"
The bell sounds!
"Swear it to the sun" by Voodoo Johnson hits the PA System as the fans cheer!
Randy Long: "Here is your winner - Jason Richarrrrrds!"
Richards gets to his feet, shocked. The ref raises his arm in the air.
Tony D: "It was certainly all Cameron MacNichol for most of the bout, but something seems to have clicked and Jason Richards came out of nowhere with a fury of offense that earned him a big win tonight!"
Kris Red: "Damn right it's a big win. He just beat a former Evolution Champion. Congrats, you're on everyone's radar now, kid."
CarnEvil Connection are frantically pestering some of the WARPED A/V underlings in search of Kris Red. The whole time Kris is standing at the top of the bleachers waving his arms around causing the oversized arms on his AbominationZ hockey jersey to flap like wings. The somber looks under their masks turn to half hearted grins when they finally notice Kris. The brothers motion him to the bottom of the bleachers and he obliges rather quickly.
Kris Red: "Are you two holding up o.k.? That wasn't your best mic work.."
Mr. Rottentreats: "Don't remind me. To answer your question, no. We need to get in touch with Joey a.s.a.p."
Treats begins to tense up and Douglas pats him on the shoulder.
Douglas Fresh: "Sara called while we were stinking up the joint. It's not good."
Treats walks toward the locker room with his head down and shoulders heaving.
Kris Red: "I'll see what I can do. Is he going to be o.k. for the cage match tonight?"
Douglas Fresh: "You've seen the first match we had in the Tokyo Dome right?"
Kris Red: "He was a beast in that match! You both were. Wait.. That wasn't in a cage."
Douglas Fresh: "True, but we were both down in the dumps that night because of our uncle. Now, imagine that confined by four walls of flesh ripping steel mesh!"
Kris Red stares off into the air with a bit of blood lust in his eyes.
Handicap Match: William Wallace vs. Ice & Drake Knight
Randy Long: The following contest is a handicap match tag match and it is scheduled for one falls. Introducing first, making this WARPED Wrestling’s debuts, weighing in at a combined weight of 551 pounds, they are the unstoppable Drake Knight and the ice queen Ice… THE ANNIHILATORS!
“Submission & Domination” hits the p.a. system and immediately after, the fans roar with boos and unflattering chants as they begin to make their way out from behind the entrance curtains. They walk up to the top of the ramp and pauses momentarily, glazing at the booing crowd, and slightly looking toward each other. They nod and proceed down the ramp.
Tony D: If William Wallace has ever had a huge challenge ahead of them, it is now.
As they proceed down to the ring apron, Crowbar, along with the beautiful Evolution Champion, and holding his hand is Kandi Washington, who’s dressed in a long spaghetti strapped black cocktail dress. They smirk at the booing crowd as they follow the bodyguards down to the ring apron. Drake Knight and Ice make their way inside the ring.
Kris Red: Perfection! Crowbar looks like a pimp and Kandi Washington is a perfect lady!
Tony D: A lady doesn’t say or do the things Kandi Washington does and what the hell are they even out here for? Crowbar and Kandi make their way down to the ringside area as they motion to the bodyguards, who give him a sadistic grin from inside the ring. They walk over in front of the commentary table as a backstage crew member sets up a steel stair at ringside.
Kris Red: He’s in charge… he can do what he wants!
Randy Long: And introducing the opponent, weighing in at 254 pounds and billed from Glasgow, Scotland… WILLIAM WALLACE!!
The arena blacks out as “Crank” by Psyko Dalek begins to play. After about 40 seconds of the song the crowd erupt with cheers as Wallace appears through the curtain with his now short hair, wearing Jeans and a "Save WARPED" t-shirt. He is lit up by one single spot light as he walks to the ring with a focused look on his face. He makes his way to the side of the ring and slowly climbs the stairs before climbing through the ropes into the ring. William makes eye contact with Crowbar, Kandi, Drake, and Ice as he paces around the opposite side of the ring.
Tony D: The odds are definitely not in his favor tonight.
Kris Red: What the hell is that supposed to mean Tony D?
Tony D: I don’t trust our general manager or that jezebel being out here at ringside.
As Kandi Washington sits comfortably on Crowbar’s lap as the referee starts checking the boots of Drake Knight and Ice.
Kris Red: You be careful what comes out of that mouth Tony D, that’s YOUR boss and WARPED’s true Evolution Champion.
Tony D: She could very well lose it at WARPED-76; she’s not UNBEATABLE!
The bell sounds!
Tony D: Well, the match is finally beginning and it looks like Ice will be starting things off with the former World Champion.
Kris Red: Yes, the former and NEVER again World Champion… Bam, it’s OVA!
William Wallace wastes no time to meet Ice in the ring and they lock up with an aggressive grapple. The woman who is almost equal to his size is taken down to one knee with a headlock hold, but she pushes him off to the ropes. William runs off the ropes with a clothesline. She lies there for a second before being pulled by her fizzy blonde hair. He whips her into the ropes and she bounces off the ropes with a reverse elbow to the chest, slightly forcing her to stumble back. She runs at Wallace with a clothesline and he capitalizes with a kick to the midsection. He goes to lift her up, but Drake sneaks inside the ring, and pulls her down off his hands. He turns around with a standing big boot with power.
Kris Red: Yes, the number gain will prove to be too much for William here tonight and victory will be ours! Come on Drake and Ice!
Tony D: The referee is trying to get him out of the ring, but he’s a bit intimidated by Drake. Meanwhile, Ice has Wallace up to his feet.
Ice starts connecting with forearms to the side of his face as he staggers backwards to the ropes. She grabs his wrist and whips him into the ropes, across the ring. Wallace bounces off the ropes and ducks underneath a standing big boot. She turns around to only be taken down with a shoulder tackle. William begins opening up with a forearms to the face as he’s releasing a lot of built up tension.
He breaks the hold before the count of five and Ice staggers up to her feet, but with her back turned he grabs her and slams her on the mat with a full nelson suplex. He hooks the leg, 1 – Drake pulls him off by the ankle. Wallace runs up behind Drake and clobbers with him a fist blow to the back of his head. He goes to turn around, but Ice catches him from behind with a low blow.
Tony D: They should be disqualified!
Somebody is seen running down from the back as he’s holding a piece of paper in hand. He runs down the ramp and around the ring.
Tony D: What the hell is he doing down here?
He makes it his way over to Crowbar as he exchanges it off and Kandi Washington stares out of the corner of her eye.
Kris Red: He’s the boss, he had important matters.
Crowbar smirks as he reads the paper and folds it back up, setting it in his lap and motioning for the man to go back to the backstage area.
Kris Red: Haha, says who? The referee didn’t see it to make that call!
Ice grabs him on his knees and tucks his head in between her legs and tries to lift him up for a powerbomb. She has to lift him, but he reverses it with a back body drop. He falls to one knee, holding his package as she slowly rolls up to her feet. He turns around and she charges at him and catches her with a running powerslam. He hooks the leg, 1 – 2 – Ice gets a shoulder up.
Tony D: I thought for sure he had her there.
Kris Red: Are you kidding me, Tony D? She’s one of the most amazing female athletes to ever step foot in the WARPED ring!
William lifts her up and sends her into the ropes. As she bounces off the ropes, Drake tags himself in, and she delivers a knee to his chest. Drake races in with a thunderous clothesline. William rolls up to his feet and he grabs his wrist as Drake whips him into the fall corner. Then He grabs Ice and sends her into the corner with a body avalanche. She steps out of the ring as William stumbles out of the corner and Drake leans down to pick him up over his head.
Kris Red: Holy shit! Holy shit!
Tony D: He does have impressive strength that is for sure.
Drake drops him down to the canvas with a military press slam as William clenches his hands around his stomach. Drake leans down to lift him up, but William surprises him with a small package, 1 – 2 – Drake kicks out. Drake is first to his feet, but William isn’t too far behind him. Drake goes for a bearhug, but William with a double-edge knife chop to the neck of Drake. Drake breaks the hold and stumbles back. William runs and takes Drake down with a big boot.
Kris Red: No! Come on Drake, get up!
Tony D: William Wallace is not going to go down without a fight and so far he has taken nearly everything these two goons had to give him.
Drake holds his face as he staggers up to his feet, but about halfway up to them—William hooks his leg and grabs his tights as he connects with an inverted DDT. Ice wastes no time to step back inside the ring and she runs at William, but he catches her with a chop across the chest. He takes her down with a clothesline as she rolls out of the ring. He covers Drake, 1 – 2 – Drake powers out.
Kris Red: Phew! That was a close one.
Tony D: It was almost ova, as you would say it Kris.
Kris Red: Oh shut up Tony D!
William has Drake up to his feet and he tries to whip him into the ropes, but Drake reverses it. As William is sent into the ropes, Ice delivers a side kick across the lower back. William holds his back and turns around knocking Ice down on the apron with a punch to the face. He turns around and Drake lifts him up with a flapjack. He leans down to grab him up by the head as he tags in Ice.
Kris Red: Double team magic, if you please!
Tony D: They just send William off into the ropes across the ring, but William Wallace countered with a double flying clothesline off the ropes! Take that Kris!
Drake rolls out of the ring and Ice stumbles up to her feet. He has Ice up to her feet and with her head tucked in between his legs, he lifts her up and takes her down with a sit-out powerbomb.
Tony D: The Freedom Drop!
Before he can go for a cover, Drake Knight uninvitingly races inside the ring and starts to brutally attack William Wallace with relentless forearm smashes to the back. The referee tries to yank him back, but he shoves him down in the corner. The referee sits up and starts to call for the bell.
Kris Red: Did he just disqualify us!?
Tony D: Thank God!
Drake picks Wallace up to his feet by the throat, double-handed chokebomb! He leans down beside Wallace with both hands around his throat and starts to blatantly choke him to death as the fans are booing. Crowbar and Kandi are enjoying the scene.
Randy Long: Here is your winner by disqualification… WILLIAM WALLACE!!
The referee is trying to get Drake to break the hold as other officials run down to the ring. Drake breaks the hold when Kandi starts to snap her fingers from outside. He stands in the middle of the ring as they roll Wallace out of the ring. He stands on his own two feet with his arms around the official’s necks. Other AbominationZ members Carnival Connection and the World Champion Starr make their way down.
Tony D: "What the hell do they think they are doing!?"
"Headstrong" by Trapt hits the PA System and all of AbomiationZ turn toward the WARPEDVision Entrance. Out steps Joey Matthew with an angry look on his face. He gives the 'cut it' sign with his hand and the music dies out.
Joey Matthew: "If one of you places a FINGER on William Wallace, you will be fired on the spot IMMEDIATELY!"
AbominationZ can't believe it and the fans erupt in cheers as Joey continues down the aisle.
Joey Matthew: "What you did at the Third Anniversary Show is disgusting. You nearly put this man in the hospital AGAIN! First you stab him and nearly kill him in January, and then three weeks ago you destroy his skull with chairshots and then MOCK the stabbing in the ring? Are you out of your minds?!"
They all look at each other and nod in agreement. Joey enters the ring next to William Wallace while AbominationZ stand across the ring side by side.
Joey Matthew: "We want an explanation and you owe every single fan including Wallace especially, an apology."
Starr, Crowbar, Carnival Connection, Kandi, Ice and Drake Knight all bust out laughing.
Crowbar: "An apology? If anything, you should be apologizing to US because what you did last year was, well, an abomination.. compared to what we've done this year. We are AbominationZ and we make NO APOLOGIES for what we did."
The fans chant "YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK!" and Crowbar rolls through.
Crowbar: "I SUCK? What about when "Team Joey" tried to destroy this company just one year ago? Have you all forgotten? Well, he failed and was banned from appearing in WARPED in a major capacity for a whole year as of March 17, 2012. Us? The AbominationZ? We're continuing past March 17, 2013, and we're not stopping anytime soon. What you saw at the anniversary show was just the beginning. With Kandi Washington as the Evolution Champion -"
Joey Matthew: "CO-Champion!"
Crowbar: "Whatever, Kandi is the Evolution Champion, and Starr is the World Champion. And they both proudly represent nothing that you ever envisioned, but something we all envision. I present to you.."
Starr opens up his briefcase while Kandi opens up hers. Both pull out custom World and Evolution Titles with the AbominationZ logo on each.
Crowbar: "The AbominationZ World and Evolution Champions!"
The crowd erupts in boos. Joey and William shake their heads in disgust. Wallace takes the mic from Joey Matthew.
William Wallace: "AbominationZ Champions? That’s a fucken joke, right? Am no goin to stand around here an let you two idiots tarnish TWO great WARPED championships that I've held in ma career here. And Starr - A WILL be comin for that WARPED World Title again, an next time a will no be recoverin from a life threatening stabbin!"
Crowbar: "Just what gives you the right to make such a ridiculous claim? I'm the General Manager - he's the World Champion - we decide if you get a shot or not."
Joey Matthew: "Acccccctually, that's not true. William is entitled to a rematch for the gold, and you're going to give it to him."
Crowbar: "Matthew, don't you have some paperwork to file? If you can't tell, I'm running this show and there's a reason why you don't have the power to come on here and destroy everything like you used to. You're a loose cannon. Time to let the professionals take care of the big lifting."
Starr: "Listen, I'll gladly put my title on the line against all comers. I'm glad to give opportunities, but I feel like others should get the first shot. GREAT wrestlers like Bushido, Damien Baine.."
They all try to contain their laughter..
Starr: "There are guys who deserve the shot before you like ..Cameron MacNichol.. pfft.. uhh, that lizard guy, what's his name?"
Mr. Rottentreats: "Kameleon!"
Starr: "Thanks Treats, Kameleon. Those guys are VERY VERY TALEN.. excuse me."
Starr turns his back and his entire body begins to shake. It'd appear that Starr is trying to hide his laughter. Kandi and Crowbar pat Starr on his back as he stands up straight and turns around with a straight face.
Starr: "They deserve a shot because they are so talented, William. You just aren't. Matthew, one of the last times I remember seeing you, you dusted off a few bags of bones from your old promoter days and sent them into battle to try to take out talent like Crowbar and I, who the fuck are you to call shots now? I could easily have Crowbar void not only Wallace’s rematch clause, but his whole God damned contract if I wanted. This belt, this show, this whole fucking company, it’s ours now and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to stop it. Shit, there’s no one capable of stopping it, including this roided up ginger piece of shit."
William Wallace: "Cut the CRAP!"
The Television screens as well as WARPEDVision scramble and blink out to the red fist logo with the crown spinning above it.
As the TV unscrambles a thunderous "AYE!!!" shakes the PA. "Rumble Young Man, Rumble" By Juelz Santana drops Taurus appears on WARPEDVision flashing a smile. As the audience boo to the top of their lungs Taurus slowly pulls down his shades. He loudly clears his throat before he begins to speak.
Taurus: " ....Ha...While all of you argue, bitch and moan over what you WANT...I’ll tell you what I’m coming to GET....”
Crowd: "????????!!!!!!” “ ????????!!!!!!” “????????!!!!
Taurus: “.......Yes...I’m like...Dragon of everything here or something. Chant my damn name.”
Crowd: “????????!!!!!!” “ ????????!!!!!!” “????????!!!!”
Taurus: “.. You see, four months ago I made a certain decision. I’ll speak on that decision whenever I damn well please but for right now all you need to know is that KINGS BACK and I’m owed a rematch!. ..Continue with your wants but I’m coming to TAKE the title shot that is rightfully mine scrap.. "
William Wallace: "How about you pipe down, Taurus. This isn't even about you and it never will be about you."
Taurus: " ‘Hell Up. I’m Capone bitch it’s always about me."
Crowbar: "ENOUGH! Taurus has a great point. He DOES deserve a rematch."
Starr's eyes narrow. He stares up at Capone and then leans in toward Crowbar, whispering something into the general manager’s ear. Only bits of the conversation can be heard; “Twitter...friends...attack...third anniversary show....HSW...has-beens...RaShawn...Dion...Capone’s fault.” Crowbar nods silently and assures his World Champion that everything will be fine.
Crowbar: "No, no. Hear me out. Taurus, you faced William Wallace and you lost in record time. You want your rematch? You got it!"
The crowd erupts in cheers.
William Wallace: "You're givin HIM a World Title rematch before ME?"
Wallace takes a step toward Crowbar, but Joey steps in front of him.
Crowbar: "Keep him back! If he touches any of us, we're forced to retaliate and we will NOT be fired if he starts it but trust me that we WILL finish it."
Joey calms William Wallace down, and both back into the corner.
Crowbar: "I never said Taurus gets a shot at Starr. No, no. I said he gets a rematch. He faced William Wallace and he lost, therefore, he will face William Wallace again. That match will take place in Wallace's home of Scotland, and if Taurus can win that match, SURE he can have a title shot."
William Wallace: "And..?"
Crowbar: "Taurus, since you don't have a title shot until you beat Wallace, that means you are not Starr's concern nor focus right now. With that said, as WARPED general manager, I demand you, and you as well Alex, cease all this petty bullshit back and forth bickering between you two on Twitter and in promos. Starr has a lot more to be concerned with right now than someone who isn't even in the running for the World Championship."
Taurus rolls his eyes and walks off camera as WARPEDVision goes dark.
William Wallace: "And... if I win? What do I get?"
Crowbar: "Unfortunately, we're out of time here. Let's go."
AbominationZ slowly start exiting out of the ring through the ropes. Wallace steps toward Starr and Crowbar, and Crowbar puts his hand up to block.
Crowbar: "Now now, let's not go getting out of control. Osaka needs wrestling or they might start throwing rice at us. Let's go."
Crowbar and Starr are the last ones to exit and AbominationZ make their way around the ring and toward the aisle. Their theme music hits the PA System and Joey and William watch as they head up the aisle.
Tag Team Match: Flux In Motion vs. ELITE
Randy Long: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a standard tag team bout and it is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, they are the team of Damien Baine and Leon Stone and weighing in at a combined weight of 450 pounds… FLUX IN MOTION!!
"Supernatural" by Monocle plays. Leon Stone and Damien Baine come out together, running down to the ring high fiving and shaking hands. They slide into the ring running from corner pumping the crowd up. The crowd chants their names and slowly the hooplah calms down, and the team retreats to their corner.
Kris Red: Are these guys for real? I was thinking Leon Stone needs to be in a psych ward, not a ring! The guy is unstable!
Tony D: He’s down in the dumps about losing his championship, which is perfectly normal for somebody coming off a defeat. Give him a break!
Kris Red: I don’t like the guy personally!
Randy Long: And introducing the opponents, hailing in from Japan at a combined weight of 335 pounds… TIN AND VOE LI!!
Their theme hits the p.a. system and a huge pop is heard from the crowd as the Li’s come strutting out with the running man-like dance moves. They stare over at each other as they continue to dance down the ramp, but stopping halfway in the middle. They then run down to the ring apron and slide in under the first rope, kneeling up. They flip up to their feet and begin conducting some dance moves as the fans go nuts.
Kris Red: When did this match turn into a dance off?
Tony D: They are just having fun.
Kris Red: I want to see wrestling, not a bunch of Japanese guys dance!
Leon and Damien stand in the ring side by side but Leon quickly separates himself from Damien by asking for a microphone and walking to the other side of the ring furthest from his partner. Leon brings the microphone to his mouth and looks at the crowd.
Leon: “How the fuck are you Osaka! I am not doing to well my self,
Leon shakes his in affirmation
Leon: “I really can't stand the fact that I have to be this close to this lazy bum of a partner.”
Leon: “But as much as I wish I didn't have to be in the same ring as my Ex-partner, I had to be here to prepare for my Evolution title match, to build the momentum and take my title back from who ever is keeping it warm for me. As far as I'm concerned the third times the charm, and this time I'll have a title rein to remember.”
Damien rolls his eyes.
Leon: “The Eon of Leon I keep talking about will finally live long enough to make an impact on this company, and I'll prove true to my promise of making a difference here in Warped.”
Damien asks for a microphone at ring side.
Leon: “Hopefully each and everyone of you will follow me into the great bright future that I hope to bring.”
Damien: “Excuse me? Mind pulling your head out of your ass for a little bit and focusing on the match right now instead of everything else?'
Leon “Why cant I be focused on both?”
Damien gets up in Leon's face.
Damien: “Because having your head up your ass is exactly why you can't keep a winning streak going!”
Leon shoves Damien.
Leon: “Says the fucker that can't win a fucking match by himself.”
Damien shoves Leon back.
Damien: “Yeah because you are such a success! You started at the bottom and you're still there!”
Leon makes a move to hit Damien...but they suddenly both notice ELITE coming at them and both save each other from attack! A brawl breaks out and Leon and Damien lay both Tin and Voe Li out!
Tony D: "Well it looked like Flux In Motion was breaking down but they look surprised and relieved that both men helped each other there."
Kris Red: "Well now isn't that just adorable?"
The referee seperates them and tells one to get to the apron and the other start the match, and makes sure Elite are okay as well and has them do the same. He calls for the bell..
Tony D: It looks like Voe is going to start things off with Baine as he runs off the ropes with a leg scissors takedown.
Kris Red: This is the way to start a match Tony D! Not that nonsense bickering..
Baine is up to his feet and Voe charges at him with a shining wizard execution, but Baine rolls out of the way. He’s to his feet and Voe bounces at him with leaping forearms. As Baine stumbles back to the ropes, Voe tries to whip him across the ring, but he reverses it. Voe runs off the ropes and Baine takes him off his feet with a hip toss. As Voe starts up to his feet, Baine runs at him with a lifting knee shot to the face.
Kris Red: That was downright BRUTAL!
Tony D: Baine and Stone are on a mission to get Leon Stone back to the championship he felt robbed.
Kris Red: Oh please!
Baine gets Voe up to his feet and drags him to his corner. He tags in Stone and Leon enters the ring with a few kidney shots. He grabs him by the neck and throws him into the corner. Stone runs at him, but Voe gets a foot to the face. Voe hops backwards on the second rope and leaps off with a front dropkick to Stone’s chest. As Stone starts to stand to his feet, Voe runs to Tin and tags him in. Tin hops over the top rope and runs at Stone with a kick to the midsection: standing neckbreaker.
Tony D: I don’t think Leon Stone’s head is in the game.
Kris Red: Of course, it isn’t! He’s thinking too much about what he couldn’t keep at WARPED-74, loser!
Tin goes for the cover, but only gets a quick two count. He gets up to his feet and pulls Leon up on his. Leon pushes him and follows it up with a boot to the midsection. He lifts Tin aboves his head with a scoop slam. Tin arches his back off the mat and the frustrated Leon Stone starts to open up with repeated stomps down on Tin. The referee starts to count, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 –
Tony D: Phew, I thought he was going to be disqualified!
He stares at the referee before leaning down and picking Tin up to his feet. He hooks the head between the arms and connects on his head with a painful snap DDT. He rolls Tin over and hooks the leg, 1 – 2 – Tin kicks out. As Stone is the first one to his feet, he walks over to Baine and tags his partner back in.
Kris Red: We are going to see some double team! Too bad he didn’t have Baine’s help at WARPED-74… haha!
As Tin is slowly standing to his feet, Stone and Baine quickly take him back off his feet with a double clothesline. The referee tries to maintain order as he gets Stone out of the ring and meanwhile, Baine as Tin up to his feet. He whips him across the ring and Voe blind tags himself in, and Tin connects with a kick to the chest. Voe charges into the ring with superkick to the face of Baine.
Tony D: He has just connected with the Flash First!
Kris Red: And he’s about to upset right here!
After the referee counts to two, Stone breaks up the count and Tin runs across the ring as he hops onto the chest of Stone, taking him to the outside with a running body press. Baine is staggering up to his feet as Voe is setting him up. Voe attempts a standing clothesline, but Baine ducks. Baine turns Voe around and lifts him up with a standing back body drop. Voe arches himself off the mat and Baine grabs him by his throat, lifting him up for a single chokeslam, but he manages to slip down his back.
Kris Red: These chumps just cannot get their heads in the game, Tony D!
Tony D: I hate to agree with you now, since you’re traded WARPED for that other team, but I think you might be right.
He kicks Baine in the gut and hops up as he takes him down with a standing hurricanrana. Baine rolls out of the ring and Voe runs over to the ropes as he hops on the top rope, leaping to the outside with a body press. But as he gets up to his feet, Leon Stone runs around the corner with a thunderous clothesline.
Tony D: By gosh, Leon Stone nearly beheaded him with that clothesline!
Leon lifts him up and tosses him back inside the ring as he turns around in the nick of time to see Tin charging at him. He ducks and turns around to grab Tin from behind. He lifts him up with a back suplex on the outside.
Kris Red: Leon Stone is showing what he’s really made up with a couple of amateurs!
Baine is helped up to his feet by Chelsea as Voe is slowly making his way up to his feet. Baine is using the ropes to climb up to his. Voe runs with another superkick in mind, but Baine catches it in midair and clotheslines him down to the mat. He lifts him up to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He goes to set him up for a flapjack, but just then Stone slides inside the ring and meets the neck of Voe with a cutter!
Tony D: That’s FLUXED!
Kris Red: And this one has got to be OVA!
Baine goes for the cover as Stone runs at the ropes with a baseball slide to the face of Voe’s partner. The referee slides down to the mat, 1 – 2 – 3!
Randy Long: Here are your winners… DAMIEN BAINE AND LEON STONE… FLUX IN MOTION!!
“Supernatural” hits as the crowd stands to their feet as they begin to cheer. Stone walks over to his fallen partner and helps him to his feet, raising his arm in victory.
Kris Red: Hey, Stone should at least be happy he broke the curse of losing!
Tony D: He’ll climb his way back to Evolution Championship and get his revenge on Hugo Strange and Kandi Washington.
Kris Red: Kandi is not losing the championship by any means! Anyway… NEXT match please!
The camera catches Mr. Rottentreats mid rant through the crack of a door somewhere in the Osaka Prefectural Gymnasium. His white sleeveless AbominationZ T-shirt already soaked in sweat.
Mr. Rottentreats: "Weapons?!"
"Sir" Douglas Fresh stands up trying to calm his older brother down.
Douglas Fresh: "Easy Mr. Hardcore.. We got this. Little Laurel wanting to bring weapons into the mix is her showing weakness. Remember what pops said to us before our first cage match?"
Mr. Rottentreats eyes light up and he hugs his brother enthusiastically.
Mr. Rottentreats: "You're a genius brudda!"
Douglas Fresh smiles right through his mask in response to his brother's compliment. Mr. Rottentreats reaches into his left cowboy boot and retrieves a golden nine inch nail. Douglas quickly jumps back knowing what his brother's thinking.
Douglas Fresh: "Not that! The cage is the weapon, if you can't utilize it to your advantage that's your own god damn fault!"
Mr. Rottentreats looks down at the golden spike that is now sticking up from his hand through his middle finger and forefinger. Without hesitation he looks up at Douglas Fresh with his best puppy dog eyes.
Mr. Rottentreats: "B-b-b-but.. This will be more fun.."
Douglas Fresh: "This isn't about the bong is it?"
Mr. Rottentreats: "THE BONG?! No this isn't about a bong! This is about OUR Tag Team titles, Douglas!"
Douglas perks up as though his older brother has paid him the ultimate compliment then waves his arms inquisitively.
Douglas Fresh: "Then why did you produce an homage to that bong?”
Mr. Rottentreats notices the camera peeking through the crack in the door and points with his head toward the door while making a shut up motion toward his brother.
Mr. Rottentreats: “What bong?”
Douglas Fresh: “Pop’s can..”
Mr. Rottentreats cups his hand over his brothers mouth and sshh’s him. Douglas reacts by attempting to yell through his older brothers hand.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Shut it Dougie! The WARPED A/V nerds are present.”
Mr. Rottentreats straightens his younger brother up and dusts him off before sarcastically inviting the cameras into the locker room.
Mr. Rottentreats: “I suppose you’re wondering why we have our own private locker room. Weell.. Personally I can’t stand the middle school puppy love fest going on between Crowbar and Kandi.”
Douglas Fresh: “Pssh I’m just waiting for my turn. The sloppier the better!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Enough about our cohorts! In all honesty and in the interest of fairness mostly for ourselves of course. We‘ve decided to separate ourselves from the rest of the WARPED locker room. We know how females love to go around jumping people. Especially after they make laughable assumptions. As you can see we’re dressed in our Bunkhouse Attire!
Douglas Fresh: “Here we go..”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Here we are in Osaka for WARPED75, the Japanese debut of WARPED and a few members of it’s core roster. The UK Dragons have been attempting to make Japan their stomping grounds as of late..”
Douglas Fresh: “You can’t really call it your stomping grounds unless you stick around for a whole tour. What is this flying back and forth during a tour shit?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Us on the other hand, we’ve completed countless tours! We never had the luxury of a slack office so we could fly back home after every show.”
Douglas Fresh: “Sounds like something someone that doesn’t appreciate what wrestling has given them even if it was just a flat soda and a stale piece of pizza.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “This isn’t about who does or who doesn’t succumb to culture shock. This isn’t even about our pop’s legacy in this business. This isn‘t even about money. Trust us, if it was this company would have been bled dry before the end of Elite Duos.”
Douglas Fresh: “Or Go Big or go home for that matter..”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Like I said, it’s not about money. We have fall back plan upon fall back plan. And we weren’t like the rest of those dipshits during the eighties that didn’t save their money.”
Douglas Fresh: “It’s about those god damned tag titles that were stolen from us!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Switchblade and his body condoms have made a mockery of this tag division! And guess what WARPED Faithul.. YOUR TAG CHAMPS DID NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! If it happens again. I don’t give a flying fuck who gets involved.”
Douglas Fresh: “WARPED can kiss our asses good bye!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “You would like that wouldn’t you Joseph?”
Mr. Rottentreats palms the camera away and the scene transitions to the announce table. Kris Red has a look of shock on his face and Tony D just seems confused.
Kris Red: “....”
Tony D: “I can’t believe it. Kris Red is speechless!”
Kris Red: “I’m stunned! We’re about to lose the greatest tag team to ever grace WARPED Wrestling with it’s presence, Tony D!”
Tony D: “I don’t think that’s going to happen. What if they win?”
Kris Red: “If, Tony D? IF?! No, after they win they’re taking the belts with them. Of course that’s only if someone interferes.”
Tony D: “I think it’s a long shot that they’re going to win tonight, Kris.”
Kris Red: “Of course it is! Joey Matthew has all his flunkies interrupting matches! I‘m just trying to stay positive here!”
“Lost My Way” by Finger Eleven plays, and the arena bursts into cheers. Seconds later SwitchBlade steps out wearing the same suit he had on at the three year anniversary show. He looks at the fans, smiles and gives a quick wave before heading towards the ring.
Tony D: Folks, you’re not watching a repeat. SwitchBlade is here!
Kris Red: And here I was hoping we saw him for the last time months ago. Why can’t anyone put him down?
Tony D: The last time we saw SwitchBlade he faced Alexander StarrZoe in what many argue to be the greatest match of 2012, possibly in all of Warped history.
Kris Red: And I’ll admit that the match was phenomenal, but he said he was retired! He lied to us, and the people are going to cheer him on?
Tony D: Well we know that SwitchBlade will be addressing the fans, so hopefully we get some answers; not only for why he’s back, but for why he’s associating himself with those two men we saw at the Third Anniversary Show.
Kris Red: Those freaks of nature interfered in the Tag Title match and cost CarnEvil Connection the belts!
Tony D: But they attacked the UK Dragons as well!
Kris Red: I don’t care what side they’re on, Tony D. When you attack The Abominationz, you’re going down.
SwitchBlade enters the ring and asks for a microphone. Upon receiving one he walks over to the center of the ring and looks around. A chant starts up, and SwitchBlade can’t help but soak it in for a bit before speaking.
SwitchBlade: Thank you. Thank you. It feels good to be back in a Warped ring.
Fans: ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH!
SwitchBlade: Before I begin, let me get this out of the way. No, I am not competing anymore. I’m still officially retired. My time is over, and the new generation needs to step up to the plate.
Kris Red: Phew. Good riddance!
Tony D: Shush.
The fans start booing. SwitchBlade gives them a moment before continuing.
SwitchBlade: Now just because I’m retired, that doesn’t mean that I’m gone for good. Far from it, I’ll still be around to help the new kids out and make an appearance or two. I even have my own wrestling school in downtown Boston which, thanks to Joey Matthews, is officially affiliated with Warped Wrestling. So a lot of the newcomers to Warped could in fact be graduates of my school. Which brings me to the events of the last show.
SwitchBlade pauses to think of what to say next.
SwitchBlade: I know some of you are confused by the actions of two particular individuals during that show. In the Tag Team Championship match between the Carnival Connection – excuse me, CarnEVIL Connection – and the UK Dragons, there were two masked men whom, upon making their way into the ring from below and above, attacked both teams and left without saying a word. I then proceeded to leave the arena with them. These men, and I assure you they ARE men and not monsters, are the first two graduates of my school.
Kris Red: What the hell is he teaching there?!
SwitchBlade: Their names are Y and The Controvert. And they will cleanse this company. You see, when I was starting out I was always about tradition. I did things by the book, and even when I played a dirty game I always respected my opponents to some degree. This was how I identified myself as a professional wrestler. When you saw me shake hands in the ring, that was the real deal. And for awhile I believed my way to be the correct way.
SwitchBlade paces the ring, and then looks over at the stage. He grins.
SwitchBlade: I see Joey made a good investment with my $60,000.
But the grin quickly disappears; replaced with solemn.
SwitchBlade: But you see, no matter what color you paint a house, it doesn’t change the house itself. It looks different, but the inside remains the same. When I saw what was happening at Warped from my living room television, when I saw the rise of The Abominationz and the sudden growth in Hardcore, FnX division matches, I knew that something had to be done. When I witnessed the beatings, the kidnappings, the betrayals, and other such atrocities I saw the path that Warped was heading towards. It is not the pure, righteous path that I tried to take it in for the past three years. And even though I’m retired, the fighting spirit within me remains. I knew something had to be done. When I tried to fan the flames, I lead by example. I became the figurehead of the company and I had hoped that others would learn from me. But it’s clear to me now that things are only getting worse in my absence.
SwitchBlade: You know the expression “fight fire with fire”? Well for this company I would like to give that old phrase a tweaking. “Fight fire…with napalm.” It’s simple. Whatever the wrestlers decide to do, my boys will respond with either kindness…or aggression. If you’re polite and respectful towards your fellow locker room brothers, then you won’t have any problems with Y and The Controvert. In fact they may just help you out of a sticky situation or two. But if you’re bad, and I mean REALLY bad, then I recommend sleeping with one eye open. Because they’re going to come after you. And it’s going to hurt. This message goes out specifically towards The Abominationz in particular. Boys, you know how I feel about groups that try to take over wrestling companies. I had to deal with that on a weekly basis back in the day and it wasn’t fun. I didn’t like going to work and having my career threatened by a group of bullies. I didn’t like getting injured by big behemoths who were throwing their weight around. When I saw how you treated William Wallace, I knew that I had made the right call. The attacking during the tag match was a message to The Abominationz, to the UK Dragons, and to everyone else in the company. Nobody is exempt from this.
SwitchBlade glances at the announce table.
He looks back at the fans.
SwitchBlade: At Warped 76 the Warped fans will get to see the debut of Y and The Controvert in tag team action. Consider it a “sneak preview” of what’s in store if anyone decides to further corrupt this company. Ladies and gentlemen, there’s going to be a lot of changes in store. There will be “order” to balance out the chaos. But this “order” just happens to be more than a different paint color.
SwitchBlade drops the microphone and exits the ring to the back.
Tony D: Well…that was different.
Kris Red: Why was he looking at us, Tony D? What did you do to him?
Tony D: ME?! I think he was looking at you, partner.
Kris Red: For what?
Tony D: Well you ARE a supporter of The Abominationz.
Kris Red: …
Tony D: Speechless, huh? Well folks, this sounds like a whole new change to SwitchBlade’s philosophy. I’m just not sure if I like it. And what will Y and The Controvert be like when they compete in tag action at Warped 76? Who knows what they’ll do.
Kris Red: Just keep them away from me.
The scene opens up backstage as we see Joey Matthew talking with PKA and Dylan Daniels in his office. There is a knock at the door and in walk Laurel Anne Hardy and Evangelista with the WARPED Tag Team Titles. Joey shakes both of their hands, and PKA/Daniels do the same.
Joey Matthew: "Look at you both, WARPED Tag Team Champions. Those titles look good on your shoulders."
Laurel Anne Hardy: "Aw, cheers! Picked me outfit tonight especially to go with gold. Some people say you should never go too ostentatious but I say if you gorrit, flaunt it, yeh?"
Evangelista: "Yeah, thank you."
Joey Matthew: "I just wanted to tell you that you have my full support as WARPED Tag Team Champions. You're the first team to bring a sense of pride and honor to those titles. Despite you only being Guest Stars here in WARPED by way of FRONTIER, I will accept you both as champions a thousand times before I would ever accept Carnival Connection or anyone from AbominationZ as the champs. You can't let them win tonight."
Laurel's expression darkens instantly at the word 'AbominationZ,' and her voice quietens.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "They put my brother in hospital, Joey. Don't worry, in this of all matches we won't be slackin'. We're gonna prove to AbominationZ once an' for all that we're better than anythin' they can throw at us."
Joey Matthew: "Just so you know, these two have your back tonight."
PKA and Dylan Daniels nod.
PKA: "Damn right."
Dylan Daniels: "Those titles aren't going anywhere. They're yours."
Evangelista: "Thank you, Dylan. That means a lot. An' once we're done with AbominationZ we'd love to defend these against opponents with honour, in a fair contest."
Joey Matthew: "Good luck out there."
Joey shakes their hands and the UK Dragons head out of the office. PKA turns to Joey and Dylan.
PKA: "Before we get to that, I have something to take care of guys."
PKA nods at both of them and heads out of the room as the scene fades to black.
PKA Confronts Kris? And..
The opening of Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark" hits as the Osaka, Japan crowd looks on and strobe lights fill the Osaka Prefectural Gym. PKA emerges from behind WARPEDVision and gives the 'cut it' sign with his hand and his music dies down. He brings the microphone up as he makes his way down the aisle.
PKA: "Much like Joey Matthew asked for earlier and didn't get a damn one, I am now out here to ask for answers."
He gets to the bottom of the aisle, but instead of going up the steps into the ring, he goes around the ring toward the announce table. With his eyes locked on Kris Red, he speaks.
PKA: "Kris Red. We've been best friends for ten years. What I want to know is what in the hell you're thinking? What-"
Suddenly the ominous pulse of Insane Clown Posse's “High Rise” hits the PA System and out steps Crowbar. PKA looks up at the aisle as he stands at the top of the entrance. He makes a motion with his hand. Crew comes running out of the back with barbwire, light tubes and a bed of nails and some batteries and a explosive device.
PKA: "What the hell is this?"
Crowbar heads toward the ring as the crew starts to wrap barbwire around two sides of the ring and light tubes are taped to the other two sides of the ring. In one corner the bed of nails is set up, in other the explosive device. In the third corner a cactus and finally another explosive device. Then finally one side of the barbwire is electrified.
Tony D: "Kris, do you have any idea what's going on here?"
Kris Red: "Looks like we're going to have ourselves a match, Tony D.."
Crowbar calls for a mic.
Crowbar: "PKA, now is not the time to talk to Kris, because I've got a surprise match to occupy your time."
PKA: "A surprise match?"
Crowbar: "You see, we're in Japan and as you can tell there are a ton of very violent weapons in and around the ring.. so how about we have ourselves a Japanese Death Match?!"
PKA rolls his eyes and tosses the microphone down. He shouts out "Fine, let's go. Who's my opponent?" before entering the ring.
Crowbar: "Your opponent is somebody who you've had the pleasure of wrestling before, but sadly you never beat this man. He's been spending some time over here in the Orient, and tonight he's going to spend some time hurting you. Ladies and gentlemen - Grundy!"
A Shogun named Marcus starts to blast though the arena a Grundy steps out on to the ramp. He lifts his left fist in the air and the crowd goes crazy as Grundy walks to the ring.
Tony D: "Wow! It has been over a year since we last saw Grundy in WARPED Wrestling! Formerly known as Grendel or TG Grundy, he is, as you can see, a massive man with a violent streak!"
Kris Red: "He's a former Evolution Champion too and a dangerous man!"
PKA and Grundy stand in the and PKA offers his hand Grundy looks at it and slaps it away. Grundy rears back and throws a big right PKA ducks the right rolls behind him and hits a dropkick that rocks Grundy but remains standing. Turning around Grundy is meet with lefts and rights that rocks the big man. PKA backs up and runs at the dazed Grundy hits another dropkick making Grundy teeter. PKA backs up again yells out to the crowd he is meet by a huge cheer and hits another dropkick that sends Grundy down to the mat.
Tony D: "And PKA takes the big Grundy off his feet!"
Kris Red: "That's just great.. but he's going to get back up!"
Sliding under the bottom rope PKA slides out of the ring and starts to throw chairs and light tubes into the ring. Slowly getting go his feet Grundy grabs one of the chairs and stands up. PKA slides back into the ring and hops to his Grundy charges at him with the chair and takes a mighty swing, but PKA side steps it and hits an enziguri that causes Grundy to drop to a knee. Seeing the big man is hurt PKA picks up a light tube and smashes it across the chest of Grundy.
Tony D: "OOH! That fluorescent light tube just got shattered over the chest of Grundy!"
With the end of the light tube PKA starts to jab and dig at the forehead of Grundy causing blood to run down his face.
Kris Red: "Oh come on, and PKA criticizes Starr and Kandi for what they did. How is this any different?!"
Tony D: "He isn't causing interal body damage and actually shoving shards of glass into the man, for one!"
Crowbar starts to yell something at PKA as PKA turns to yell back at Crowbar Grundy rams his forearm up between PKA's legs. Thunderous forearms rain down on the back of PKA. Grundy looks over at Crowbar and nods with a snap Grundy irish whips PKA into the corner turnbuckle with the cactus. Chest first PKA slams into the cactus he screams in pain as Grundy stalks his prey. Stumbling out of the corner PKA is met with a murderous right which drops to the mat. From out side Crowbar slides into the ring a light tube which Grundy grabs and then Grundy pulls PKA up to his feet. Rest the light tube across the back of PKA the monster lifts PKA up and slams him down with a powerful body slam the light tube pops and the ultraviolet perfectionist screams in pain.
Tony D: "Oh come on, this is a glorified handicap match!"
Kris Red: "Oh come on! PKA's the Ultraviolent Perfectionist. He loves blood! He loves pain! He can handle this, surely?"
Light tube after light tube gets shoved in to the ring by Crowbar. Walking around the ring Grundy looks down PKA Grundy grabs the chair and the goes and picks up the cactus. Using his massive foot Grundy rolls PKA on to his back. Placing the cactus across his face Grundy raises the chair up in the air with both hands and the sends it crashing down PKA's face the crowd lets out a "ewwww". Yelling in pain PKA sits up as cactus falls to the mat and Grundy hits him again with the chair but the force breaks the chair PKA falls back on his back Grundy goes for the cover.1....2.... PKA throws up his shoulder Grundy looks at the ref and shakes head.
Tony D: "Grundy gets a two count on PKA there and both of these men are just putting their bodies on the line."
Kris Red: "It's the first ever Japanese Death Match in WARPED history, Tony D. Of COURSE they are going to put their bodies on the line. It's HISTORY IN THE MAKING!"
Grabbing a hand full of hair Grundy pulls PKA up to his feet. With a mighty whip Grundy irish whips PKA into barbwire wire ropes sparks fly as PKA screams out in pain and falls to the mat.
Tony D: "Oh my!!"
Grundy grabs two light tubes as PKA pulls him self up Grundy breaks a tube over his head. Setting the second one on the mat Grundy pulls PKA's arms behind and with a violent force Grundy slams his foot in to the back of PKA, knocking him hard to the mat and on to the light tube. PKA is now bleeding from his back and chest.
Kris Red: "Seeeeeeeeeeeing reddddddddddddddddd!"
Crowbar claps and cheers from ringside as Grundy again pulls PKA up to his and sets with another Irish whip into the corner with the bed of nails set up in it. PKA flys across the ring and slams back first into the bed of nails. Grundy charges in at PKA, but he drops and rolls out of the as Grundy crash into the bed of nails PKA quickly grabs yet another light tube and breaks that across the big mans back. Falling backwards with the bed of nails land on top of Grundy. Sensing the opening PKA climbs the turnbuckle and leaps off hitting a splash on Grundy the bed of nails breaks apart now there is large nails along with broken glass covering the ring.
Tony D: "The ring is covered in glass, nails, chairs, barb wire.. everything!"
Grundy pushes the debris and holds up his showing one the nails has pierced part of Grundy's hand the fleshy part between his thumb and index finger. Both men lay there bleeding and Grundy pulls the nail out as PKA gets to his. Three loud whacks ring out as PKA gives Grundy’s back three soccer ball kicks. PKA has one of the nail in hand and starts the dig it into the forehead of Grundy causing blood to run down his face. Ramming his thumb into the eye of PKA Grundy is able to stop the torture that PKA is inflicting on him.
Kris Red: "Blatant cheating! Stop him, ref!"
Grundy gets to his feet and meets PKA in the middle of the ring both men start trading rights in lefts with each other. Blood is being sprayed all the ring with each punch, and then Grundy throws a knee into the groin of PKA causing him to double over. Placing his head between his legs and in a single jerk had PKA up on his shoulders for a powerbomb. Fighting for his PKA starts to punch Grundy in the head and then with swift move PKA goes into a hurricanrana. The hurricanrana sends Grundy into the wall of light tubes attached to the ropes. The large man smashes though the light tube barrier and falls to the unmatted arena floor. See he has a opening PKA runs back to the other ropes and starts to at Grundy as he gets to his feet. PKA sails over the top rope but is caught mid air by the larger man Grundy.
Tony D: "Look out! He's caught!"
Showing his strength Grundy throws PKA on to his shoulder and rams repeatedly into a ring post. Crowbar is laughing and cheering at ringside. as Grundy walks to the other light tube barrier and throws him like a missile into it again more light tubes explode as PKA crashes into them. Getting into the ring Grundy goes over to the corner with one of the explosive devices and wedges it in-between the middle rung. Then he lifts PKA up in another powerbomb but he throws him into the corner hitting the device there is a loud bang and a flash and a lot of smoke.
Kris Red: "These Japanese fans are being treated to the finest brutality, FnX, deathmatch ultraviolence EVER! They should all BOW DOWN to .... well, nevermind, they already do that!"
Tony D: "I can't even.."
Grundy rolls the lifeless body of PKA over and goes for the cover 1.....2.....PKA throws up another shoulder Grundy looks amazed Crowbars jaw drops. Walking over the second device Grundy again sets it up like he did before but as he turns PKA hits him with a drop kick that sends Grundy falling back into the device another explosion and Grundy falls to the matt. PKA jumps on top him the ref counts 1....2....and kicks out sending PKA flying off him. Grabbing a light tube PKA hits Grundy across the the stomach. Then grabbing yet another light tube PKA sets this across and chest of Grundy. Jumping straight up PKA hits a double leg drop the tube pops more glass shards as been added. The canvas of the ring can be seen now as it is completely covered in broken light tubes. PKA pulls Grundy to his feet but Grundy starts delivering body shots to PKA. The punches rock PKA back on to the Electrified barbwire sparks fly out PKA falls the mat. Grabbing his feet Grundy starts to drag PKA though all the broken glass on the matt the crowd cries in another "ewww".
Tony D: "This is simply disgusting! PKA is being dragged through the shards of glass. It's ripping his flesh!"
Kris Red: "There is BLOOD EVERYWHERE!"
Grundy goes for the cover 1.....2.....thre PKA gets his shoulder. Grundy starts to yell at the ref taking his eye off PKA. Getting to his feet PKA rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair and what is left of the light tubes. Sliding back into the Grundy sees him and charges at him back PKA and counters with a chair shot. Grundy stumbles back PKA hits him again Grundy’s legs wobble. PKA winds back and with a C-R-A-C-K PKA slams the chair down for a third time Grundy falls back on the electrified barbwire. Sparks shot out Grundy falls to the mat PKA starts to cover Grundy in light tubes. Every inch of Grundy is covered by light tubes as PKA climbs to the top rope he throws both hands up and leaps off. Hitting a perfect shooting star press the light tubes explode a cloud dust and broken glass fills the ring after a few seconds it passes and PKA is covering Grundy.
Tony D: "OH MY GOD! Shooting Star Press and the light tubes are destroyed over Grundy's body!!"
The ref drops to counter 1.......2.........the bells and Crowbar is calling the ring announcer over. Randy Long speaks into a microphone.
Randy Long: “General Manager Crowbar has ruled that this match is a TIME LIMIT DRAW!”
PKA stands up and starts yelling at Crowbar. “TIME LIMIT DRAW? Are you fucking KIDDING me?!“ Grundy starts to stir and get to his feet. Not seeing him pka is hit with a massive clothes line knocking PKA to the ground. Grundy then sets up a chair and starts to set light tubes on it. PKA on his hands and knees is yanked to his feet then spun around lifting him up in a double chicken wing Grundy drops him face first on to the . Open chair PKA doesn’t move.
"How's that for a warm-up match before tomorrow night?" says Crowbar toward PKA. Crowbar comes into the ring shakes Grundy’s hand and hands him a envelope Grundy nods and leaves the ring.
Tony D: "What did we just witness?! Was this all a set up from Crowbar?!"
Kris Red: "Tony D, look at PKA. He's hurt. He's destroyed. There's no way he's going to be able to help the UK Dragons out tonight and he might not even be available to wrestle tomorrow night. That's a real shame."
Tony D: "Despite your sarcasm, I will agree that yes it is a real shame. And now Grendel walks away a little richer than he was before tonight. What is even going on anymore?"
Main Event: Tag Team Championship CAGE MATCH: UK Dragons(c) vs. CarnEvil Connection
The houselights die out before “Gimme Back My Bullets” hits the PA.
Kris Red: “Ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing history!”
With the second cymbal crash Mr. Rottentreats and “Sir” Douglas Fresh emerge dressed in jeans, sleeveless shirts, and cowboy boots from behind the screen of the new WARPED set. Roses begin to fly at them from both sides of the aisle.
Tony D: “I wonder if they paid those women to do that?”
Kris Red: “Are you kidding me? The ladies of Japan love the Gorgeous Gaijin!”
Tony D: “Gorgeous Gaijin?”
Kris Red: “You don’t know about “Dee-Licious” Douglas Fresh and “Luscious” Johnny Stark Jr. the Gorgeous Gaijin, Tony D?”
Tony D: “No, but I do know about the wretched clowns they’ve become!”
Kris Red: “WATCH YOUR MOUTH!”
CarnEvil connection stand at the end of the entrance aisle for a moment to soak up the ovation for their return to Japan. Mr. Rottentreats taps his brother on the should as they bow their heads.
“Gimme back my bullets.
Treats and Fresh both raise their fists and turn them to double horns and the crowd erupts.
Kris Red: “Japan still has love for Mr. Rottentreats ailing father-in-law “Superstar” Stan Sawyer. I love it!”
Tony D: “Yes, leave it to CarnEvil Connection to use someone else’s hand sign to get a reaction.”
Kris Red: “IT’S AN HOMAGE, TONY D!”
CarnEvil Connection begin to strut around the ring taking their time exchanging pleasantries with certain members of the crowd at ringside.
Tony D: “Can they get in the cage already? This isn’t a dinner party, Kris!”
Kris Red: “Cool it, Tony D! This is their home away from home. Japan has watched these men grow up. They’ve seen Douglas become one of the best pure wrestlers on planet earth today! And they’ve witnessed Mr. Rottentreats transform from the most sadistic hardcore wrestler ever to the most improved and most polished wrestlers in the world!”
Tony D: “How can you even fawn over these guys? They treat you horribly!”
Kris Red: “Initiation! Think about it, Tony D.. They treat you like fine china. Because you’re frail.. That and they go by the motto kill em with kindness!”
When the second chorus hits the duo steps closer to the cage and run their fingers along the steel mesh as they approach the announce table. Mr. Rottentreats quickly pulls his hand away from the cage and runs to a lady in the audience and goads her into kissing his finger tip for him. Douglas passes by Tony D to shake Kris Red’s hand. Mr. Rottentreats quickly catches up to his brother and suspends his hand over the announce table dripping blood onto Kris Red’s notes.
Kris Red: “PURE PANDEMONIUM! The match hasn’t even began, that cage is dangerous!”
Tony D: “Come off it Kris!”
Kris Red: “You come off of it! Mr. Rottentreats is going into this match already wounded!”
Tony D: “It’s a minor scratch at best.”
Kris Red: “He’s bleeding that’s hardly minor! I’m sure you’re on the side of the UK Dragons though. You love that they have the upper hand already don’t you?!”
Fresh and Treats gather beside the cage door and lift the ring apron checking for possible trespassers. After confirming there’s nothing under the ring they hug each other as though it’s going to be the last time they see each other. Douglas offers the steps to Treats. He obliges and swings the cage door open and enters the cage. As Douglas enters Treats goes to all for sides and shakes the cage checking how sturdy it is. When Douglas enters the cage they both ascend the ropes in the blue corner to sit on the top of the cage. They look up to inspect the ceiling checking for rafters and catwalks.
The opening notes to Glass Candy's "Candy Castle" hit the speakers and Laurel Anne Hardy dances onstage, while Evangelista walks out beside her and places her hands on her hips. They jog down to the ring, high fiving fans. They both enter the ring through the cage door. They climb opposite turnbuckles and pose, then moonsault down to standing positions in the centre of the ring. Laurel takes a theatrical bow while Leanne warms up.
Tony D: "There are the reigning and defending WARPED Tag Team Champions!"
Kris Red: "Not for long, Tony D."
Tony D: "Well, if Carnival Connection.."
Kris Red: "CarnEVIL Connection!"
Tony D: "If they don't win the titles tonight, they will no longer get any more shots at the UK Dragons for the titles!"
Kris Red: "That won't be a problem."
Randy Long is in the ring and pulls the microphone up to speak.
Randy Long: "The following contest is our main event of the evening and it is a steel cage match for the WARPED Wrestling TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Pinfalls, submissions, and escaping the cage will earn you a win! Introducing first.. from the United Kingdom and at a combined weight of 280 pounds and representing Pro Wrestling FRONTIER. They are the reigning and defending TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Laurel Anne Hardy.. Evangelista.. the U..K..DRAGONS!"
The fans pop and throw in streamers over the cage!
Kris Red: "Oh, so the fans are super quiet all night and suddenly they decide to cheer. Real nice."
Mr. Rottentreats and Douglas Fresh are now sitting atop the cage above the blue corner awaiting their ring introduction.
Randy Long: “And their opponents... Hailing from The Carnival Grounds. Miiiiisssteer RooooottenTREATS and “Sir” Dooouuglaass Freshhhhh-AH!”
White and red streamers begin to fly toward the cage and CarnEvil Connection signal their appreciation by miming their beating hearts.
Kris Red: “See! They’re well respected here! I’ll be surprised if The YUK Dragons get that kind of respect in thirty years. That is if they stick around that long!”
Tony D: “To bad you can’t be more like these Japanese fans and show some respect Kris.”
Kris Red stands up and begins tossing streamers toward CarnEvil Connection much to the chagrin of Tony D. The referee does his best to gather up the streamers. He shoves them through the cage holes and calls for the bell as the CarnEvil Connection get into the ring.
Tony D: "And here we go!"
Evangelista and Laurel Anne Hardy both go after Douglas Fresh and Mr. Rottentreats, brawling into the corners and delivering repeated right hands. Fresh and Treats begin fighting out with chops and right hands. Fresh hits a One Armed Body Slam on Laurel while Evangelista elbows Treats in the gut and hurls Treats's face into the steel cage wall!
Fresh covers Laurel..
Fresh hammers away at Laurel on the mat while Evangelista lays out Treats and comes to the aid of Laurel. Evangelista pulls Fresh off of Laurel and delivers a right hand. Laurel gets to her feet and Evangelista hiptosses Laurel onto Dougie's shoulders, and Laurel performs a huracanrana!
Tony D: "Impressive double team move!"
Laurel covers Fresh..
Kris Red: "It wasn't THAT impressive!"
Treats comes after them and Evangelista spots it and both are able to cut him off with right hands. Laurel with a double leg takedown and holds him while Evangelista goes to the second buckle and leaps off with a diving knee drop! Cover on Treats..
They both bring Douglas to his feet now and hit a double belly to back suplex. They bring him back up and lift him up again, but they turn their bodies and hurl Fresh into the steel cage wall with a powerbomb like maneuver! Fresh crashes down inbetween the ropes and drops to the apron.
Tony D: "The UK Dragons are working great together!"
Kris Red: "Don't get too excited, Tony D. They don't want your musty man-sack."
Laurel points up and both champions start climbing up the cage wall to try and escape! The fans cheer as both continue to climb but Fresh and Treats cut them off as Fresh grabs onto Laurel's leg and Treats does the same on Evangelista.
Tony D: "UK Dragons are trying to finish this early!"
Laurel delivers a right hand to Fresh, then slams his head off of the cage and he drops to the mat. Laurel continues climbing while Treats and Evangelista duke it out balancing on the ropes. Treats delivers a hard elbow to the side of the head and pulls her by the hair, tearing her to the mat.
Laurel gets to the top of the cage and Douglas Fresh climbs up, trying to grab on. Mr. Rottentreats starts up after her as well, but Laurel loses her balance and grabs onto the cage as her feet dangle below! Mr. Rottentreats climbs up and joins her on the top. Instead of going down, he begins repeatedly stomping the fingers of Laurel, and she drops to the floor!
Tony D: "A fifteen foot drop for Laurel Anne Hardy, who technically just escaped the cage!"
Kris Red: "Damn, it sure is a SHAME that they weren't able to stop Hardy!"
Treats and Fresh look at each other, jaws to the floor in sarcastic way. They hop down onto the mat and both put each others hands on each shoulder, putting their heads together and asking "what are we going to do!?". They then stop and look at Evangelista who is up to her feet in the ring. They smile and start laughing. Treats turns back and waves bye bye to Laurel and the two go after Evangelista who tries to fight them off!
Kris Red: "Well look at this!"
Evangelista with a few right hands back and forth with Treats and Fresh but they start taking over and they trade chops back n forth as they bring her up against the ropes. She holds on for dear life but they pull her off and double irish whip her toward the ropes but she then starts climbing up the cage. Hardy cheers her on from ringside, telling her to climb!! Rottentreats and Fresh stop her, both pulling her to the mat and she crashes down the hard way. Fresh and Treats discuss something, and shortly after Fresh grabs her legs. He peaks between the legs and rapidly shakes his head 'no' before picking her up and swinging her around!
Tony D: "The big swing!"
Kris Red: "Around and around she goes.. where she'll drop nobdoy knowwwwwws!"
Dougie continues to swing her around as Treats hits the ropes and returns with a dropkick to the skull!"
Douglas Fresh stumbles into the ropes, a little dizzy. Evangelista gets to her feet and Fresh hits the ropes, passes by and hits the ropes again and Treats watches..
"I’M THE FOOT BITCH!!" he shouts! Big boot to the face!
Kris Red: "THE FOOT!"
Evangelista drops to the mat and Treats covers..
Laurel Anne Hardy starts climbing up the cage, telling them that this isn't fair! Douglas Fresh rushes to the cage and bangs on it, trying to keep her from entering.
Tony D: "I agree that this is definitely not a fair fight with it being two on one."
Kris Red: "Not fair? Tony D, it's a god damned STEEL CAGE MATCH!"
Mr. Rottentreats then pulls out the SPIKE! Laurel shouts from ringside and tries to tell the referee to do something about it! The ref pleads with Treats as he stalks his opponent down on the mat. He grabs her by the hair and smiles at Laurel who starts climbing up the cage and screaming. Douglas Fresh climbs up as well. She zigs, and he zigs. She zags, and he zags. She climbs up and he climbs up. In the ring, Treats shrugs and starts driving the SPIKE into the top of Evangelista's head!!
Tony D: "Oh my GOD!!"
Kris Red: "Feel this! Feel this moment for the rest of your life, Evangelista!"
The referee pleads with Treats while he continues to drive the spike into her head, a total of 10+ times at least! He finally stops and she collapses. Treats puts the spike away in his gear as he looks down at her bleeding from the head. Laurel Anne Hardy gets to the top of the cage and Douglas Fresh grabs her by her hair and she shrieks out. She then drives her nails into the openings in Fresh's mask! Laurel continues to rip at the face and try to rip apart the mask! He starts violently swinging but misses her and she pulls her fingers out of his mask and he loses his balance, dropping to the mat!
Kris Red: "She tried to claw his eyes out! Get her away from this match!"
The fans cheer on Laurel as she starts to climb over the cage!
Tony D: "These fans love Laurel Anne Hardy! I hear that she is half-Japanese and has spent a lot of time in Japan in her life. Though, they know her better as Saiko Yunokawa!"
Kris Red: "And I know her better as ELIMINATED! What is she DOING!?"
Mr. Rottentreats checks on his fallen partner who looks to be bleeding from under his ripped mask. Treats looks up just in time for Saiko to come off the top of the cage with a moonsault!
Tony D: "Oh my goodness she hit that Moonsault out of nowhere and from WAY HIGH!"
Kris Red: "She's ELIMINATED!!!"
The referee shouts at her to get out of the ring! She puts her hands up and nods and starts heading toward the door. Douglas Fresh gets up and runs at her, spinning her around. He throws a right hand but she blocks it and slaps him across the face and boots him in the gut. She puts him between her legs and crosses his arms. She then leaps and flips out into a flip piledriver!
Tony D: "Flower Plower Mk.3: Terror From Beneath!"
Kris Red: "ELIMINATED PLOWER!"
She stands over Douglas Fresh and briefly talks smack as the referee pleads for her to get out of the ring. She turns her attention to Evangelista who has pulled herself up in the corner. She's bleeding badly from the top of her head. As Hardy checks on the severity of the wound, Mr Rottentreats charges in and hits a running dropkick to the back of Laurel's head, causing her to bump heads with Evangelista! Laurel drops to the mat and Treats brings Evangelista up on the turnbuckle. He sets her up for the Faygo Plunge, and the fans boo.
Kris Red: "It's all over for her!"
Laurel Anne Hardy jumps up and low blows Treats, though!!
Kris Red: "GET HER OUT!"
The referee backs her up and urges that she get out of the ring right now! She backs up while Evangelista slams the face of Treats against the cage wall!
Tony D: "Looks like the referee is finally making Laurel Anne Hardy get out of the ring."
Evangelista starts climbing up the cage, and Treats grabs onto one of her legs. He grabs the other and holds on, then powerbombs her off the top!
Kris Red: "Get back in the ring!"
Douglas Fresh comes over and brings her to her feet. He hoists her up onto his shoulders and stands, having her in the Electric Chair position. Mr. Rottentreats climbs to the top of the cage.
Tony D: "Treats is up to something!"
Kris Red: "Yeah he's up the cage!"
From ringside, Laurel grabs a chair and throws it up at Treats but it misses him and goes into the ring. She shakes the cage and he grabs ahold of the cage top trying to not fall. In the ring, Evangelista punches the head of Dougie and attempts a victory roll, but Dougie blocks it and catches her wrists. He stands back up straight, and Mr. Rottentreats does a CAGE DIVE and they hit the Doomsday Device!
Tony D: "Amazing! Doomsday Device from the top of the cage!"
Kris Red: "Damn right its amazing!"
Treats covers Evangelista..
Tony D: "Laurel Anne Hardy needs to find a way to get back into this cage to help her partner. I'm not sure if she meant to exit the ring or what, but Evangelista is in trouble."
Laurel starts climbing up the cage and Dougie kicks at the cage, knocking her off and onto the floor.
Kris Red: "She can keep trying and keep failing."
In the ring, Carnival Connection bring Evangelista up to her feet and watch as she is barely able to stand on her own. They hoist her up on their shoulders while Laurel starts climbgig up the cage, and CCNX hurl Evangelista face-first into the cage and that knocks Laurel off the cage and she crashes at ringside!
Kris Red: "She needs to stay out of the ring or she will get hurt!"
Tony D: "Wow, showing compassion?"
Kris Red: "Hell no! I'm just stating facts."
CarnEVIL Connection bring Evangelista up to her feet, and her face is a crimson mask. They double irish whip her and she flies face-first into the cage! She drops down and Treats makes a cover..
At ringside, Laurel begs the referee to hand over the key to get in the door. He will not give it up! So, she clotheslines him to the floor! She starts digging into his pants and finds the key.
Tony D: "Laurel Anne Hardy has taken down the referee and she's got the key!"
Kris Red: "You can't DO THAT!!"
Carnival Connection put the boots to Evangelista in the ring while Laurel unlocks the cage door! She opens it and starts climbing into the ring, but Douglas Fresh charges and hits a big FOOT to the face, sending her crashing to ringside. He then looks back at Treats and Evangelista, and smiles. He goes through the ropes and hops down, raising his arms in victory!
Kris Red: "Thanks a lot HARDY!"
Dougie waves Treats on, and he looks at the referee in the ring and Evangelista dropped on the mat. He then realizes how easy he has it now! He starts Ric Flair strutting toward the door while Douglas Fresh holds the door wide open for him.
Kris Red: "Wooooh! Tony D! The titles are coming home!"
WHACK~! Dylan Daniels cracks a chair over the back of Douglas Fresh, dropping him! Mr. Rottentreats starts to crawl through the ropes when BOOM! Low blow from Evangelista! He now hangs over the middle rope, half his body out of the cage as he reaches. Daniels helps Laurel up and they both grab the cage door and close it as HARD as they can, crashing it into the face of Treats!
Tony D: "Dylan Daniels to the rescue!"
Kris Red: "What the HELL!!!"
Evangelista pulls Mr. Rottentreats back and gapplies the Dragon sleeper with a double grapevine.
Tony D: "Lime Street Loop!!"
Kris Red: "CHEAT!"
With her legs wrapped around Treats, he collapses, and she continues pulling back on the head. The referee checks if he wants to quit, and he isn't giving up!
Meanwhile, Laurel Anne Hardy is climbing up the cage.
Kris Red: "GET HER DOWN!"
From the back comes Starr and Kandi, hustling down to the ring to go after Daniels. They beat him down but here comes William Wallace with a chair in hand. He makes his way down and Ice / Drake Knight try to intercept him, but he lays both of them out with a chairshot! This allows Starr to jump on him and start beating him down, but Wallace pushes him away and tosses the chair at Starr, wrapping it around his skull! Starr collapses and Wallace heads toward the ring. Kandi starts climbing up after Laurel, but Wallace is able to pull her down onto his shoulders and hit the Sitout Powerbomb on the floor!
Tony D: "It's total chaos at ringside!"
Someone in an Ape costume jumps the rail and creeps toward the cage. The Ape runs past Kris Red and quickly scales to the top of the cage. When he reaches the top he pounds his chest and takes flight landing with a big splash on the down Mr. Rottentreats.
Kris Red: “YOU DAMNED DIRTY APE!!”
Tony D: “Looks like WARPED is now Carny free!”
Kris Red: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH, TONY D!”
He pounds his chest and runs out of the cage door, leaving everyone wondering what just happened.
In the ring, Evangelista takes the opportunity and she locks in an Inverted Facelock on Treats, while Laurel Anne Hardy has her back to the ring on the top of the cage! She then leaps off with a moonsault, and as she lands on Treats, Evangelista leaps and hits the double knees to the back of his skull!
Tony D: "I was passed a note earlier that said tonight they'd be debuting their new WARPED Frontier finisher, but that's not exactly what they told me it'd be!! Wow!"
The Osaka crowd pops! Evangelista hooks the leg on Treats..
Tony D: "UK Dragons retain the titles!"
The bell sounds!
Randy Long: "Here are your winners and STILLLLLLLLLLLLL WARPED Wrestling Tag Team Champions - Laurel Anne Hardy and Evangelista - The U..K.. DRAGONS!"
Glass Candy - "Candy Castle" hits the PA System as the two embrace with a hug in the middle of the ring. They get to their feet as the referee heads out of the cage and retrieves the Tag Team Titles. The cage slowly starts rising and the referee slides in and hands the titles to the UK Dragons. They hold them high and are joined in the ring by Dylan Daniels and William Wallace. On the ramp is Starr and Kandi, with her bodyguards, and they look very unhappy.
Tony D: "UK Dragons have retained the gold once again, and it's official now that the Carnival Connection will get no more shots at the Dragons for the gold!"
Kris Red: "This is an abomin.. awful!"
Tony D: "Go on and say it, Kris! It's an abomination!"
Douglas Fresh pulls his partner out of the ring while the UK Dragons continue to celebrate and the show fades to black..
"I am not that dragon and you are not that warrior."
- Wondrous Mental Dragon