At least the UTA awards showed just how good The Empire and I are. You're all talking about me and can't get enough of me. Oh, and the unofficial award that I won: I'm still sexier than Marie can ever be.

That was all BULLSHIT!!! I did not tap! I want my rematch! I WANT MY TITLE BACK!!!

Y’all really think them awards matter? Bless yer heart. Walkin' ’round actin’ like you’re takin’ ’em to heaven wit ya. Climb in that ring with me, and you’ll find out real quick how wrong ya are. Avril, how do Ah get this damn thang to stop recordin'?