4th October 2012 - Action Packed - From in Fort Wayne, IN
The LPW logo flashes on the screen for a brief moment before a clip is shown; highlighting the situation between Scott Stevens, Steve Solex, Boston John, and Mark Devereaux. The attacks, brawls, and heated exchanges are all covered, properly hyping the upcoming Main Event as well as matches for Instant Classic. When the clip ends we are presented with the usual “Downfall” theme and intro video before fading out to a shot of the arena where pyro goes off. The music dies down as we once again join the broadcast table at ringside.
Ash: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Action Packed. As always, I’m Danny Ash and my partner over here is Rick Henson.
Henson: Don’t call me your partner…someone might think…you know…
Ash: That we’re gay?
Henson: Worse. Friends.
Ash: Anyway, folks tonight may very well be the biggest episode of Action Packed that we’ve ever had. Not only is it our last show before Instant Classic, but the Main Event consists of all the participants in both the Main Event and Co-Main Event of Instant Classic.
Henson: Otherwise known as “watch Scott Stevens be awesome”.
Ash: Sure thing…
“Thickfreakness” by The Black Keys hits the speakers, sounding off a barrage of boos. After a few moments LPW Co-Owner, Mason Hardt, steps out onto the stage. He has the LPW Championship draped over his shoulder and is carrying a suitcase of some kind with his free hand. He casually walks down the aisle with a smirk on his face, embracing the hate he is receiving from the fans. Once to the ring, he slides the case inside and then asks for, and is granted, a microphone. He then climbs into the ring and begins to address everyone.
Hardt: Such a warm ovation. I bet you all are wondering why I’m still walking around with this LPW Champion, and the answer is a rather simple one. Because I can. I’m not the champ, I’m not in the record books, but as the last man to hold this title, I figured I’d hold on to it. The truth of the matter, actually, is that I will be THE last person to ever hold it. You see this title here, it’s tainted. It is tainted with the sham of a title reign Steve Solex had. It is tainted with The League and all of those worthless nobodies who held in on the interim. Hell, let’s be honest, it is even a little tainted with the fact that I was even crowned champion. As good as it looks on me, I’m no competitor.
So I say we remove the taint. Remove the stink of Steve Solex. Remove the inferiority of The League’s grasp on it.
Hardt grabs the belt off his shoulder and drops it to the canvas, giving it a slight stomp. He then walks to the suitcase and picks it up.
Hardt: Tonight I am proud to show the world the title that Scott Stevens will be holding in just a few more weeks.
Hardt opens the case and pulls out the new LPW Championship. Hardt holds it up in the air, giving the camera plenty of opportunity to get a good close up. “Thickfreakness” begins to play again for a moment before the scene fades out.
Max Pierce (2-2) vs. Shawn Arrows (3-2)
Ash: Ladies and gentlemen we’re back and ready to get the action under way. But first, how about that new championship belt.
Henson: Pretty snazzy, will definitely look good around the waist of Stevens. But that is obvious, what isn’t obvious is who is going to win this match. I mean, both guys are already in the ring. A draw?
Roth: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York…MAX PIERCE!
And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Jessica Jenkins, hailing from Greensboro, North Carolina…SHAWN ARROWS!
Pierce extends his hand to Arrows, a slight smile on his face. The smile is quickly wiped off as Arrows greets him with a dropkick to the face. As Pierce tries to get up he is caught with another dropkick, this one to the side of the head. Shawn wastes no time allowing Pierce to get back up, instead getting in a mount position and delivering devastating shots from above. Max does his best to cover up but several shots still manage to find their mark. Pierce manages to wriggle his way onto his stomach, but Arrows stays on top, continuing to reign down the blows. Slowly Max begins pulling himself towards the ropes. He finally manages to grasp one, but Arrows still continues his assault. The official begins to count, getting all the way to four before Arrows finally relents.
Ash: It looks like Arrows is taking Jessica’s advice to heart.
Henson: What the hell are you talking about?
Ash: Did your intern or personal assistant or whatever the hell they are not get you’re your cliffnotes on the recent promos?
Henson: He was on vacation…
Arrows doesn’t give Pierce a moment to breathe, going right back after him. He grabs him by the head and begins pulling him up to his feet. Max takes advantage of the moment, throwing a low blow with his forearm. No! Arrows has it well scouted, block the shot with his knee. He then immediately drives his other knee into Max’s face several times before letting him fall limp to the canvas. Staying aggressive, Shawn brings Max back up to his feet. It takes more effort as Pierce is almost dead weight at this point. Arrows whips Pierce into the turnbuckle and then immediately charges. Arrows leaps in the air and throws a side elbow to the head of Pierce, forcing him to stumble out of the corner. Shawn is out on the apron in the blink of an eye and then springboards in. Pierce crashes to the mat from being on the receiving end of a leg drop bulldog.
Ash: Highly impressive maneuver by Arrows there. This is definitely a different side of him then we have seen recently.
Henson: The fact he is doing anything is more than we’ve seen recently.
Pierce lies motionless on the canvas and the official tries to check on him but is cut off by Arrows. Shawn again drags Pierce to his feet slowly. He holds him up for a few moments, staring at him. Shaw then flapjacks him up into the air before crashing him down with the Arrow-Shot DDT. The pin is elementary.
Roth: The winner of the match by way of pinfall…SHAWN ARROWS!
Ash: Someone may need to get down here and help Pierce. Arrows completely destroyed him.
Henson: Good, Pierce sucks anyway.
Ash: I thought you liked him, even defended his cheating.
Henson: That was when he was winning. I don’t have time to mindlessly approve of people who don’t win.
Ash: How do you explain Scott Stevens then?
Henson: Zing! Seriously though…I hate you, good one…but I hate you.
You're Braver Than I Thought
We quickly cut to the backstage area where Shayne Adams appears to be trying to grab a camera right off the shoulder of its operator. After a brief struggle, it seems he has succeeded, as he begins to speak, no, rant into it.
Adams: Siler! You know, I've been called a lot of things by a lot of different people and to be honest, I couldn't give a crap. One thing they all agree on though is that Shayne Adams is a patriotic son of a bitch. One of the proudest Scotsmen you will EVER meet! So should somebody go ahead and insult my country...
Adams appears lost for words as rage builds up in his face.
Adams: Oh no, no, no! You should not have done that!
Rachelle appears behind Adams, but is in no hurry to use her calming influence. It would seem that she too has taken offence to Siler's comments.
Adams: Siler, only one man before you has braved insulting my country before our match. I don't know where he is now, but I left him a broken, bloody mess on the mat, then left him a broken, bloody mess on the arena floor, then left him a broken, bloody mess in a dumpster out back. Valdez, don't think I've forgotten about you, but if you like to see pain inflicted as much as you say you do, then you're in for a hell of a show!
Rachelle finally extends her calming reach. As she connects with Adams' shoulder, he drops the camera and the picture cuts out.
HOW Monday Night Mayhem
Kalean Turner (1-1) vs. Psycho Sam (2-4)
Henson: That Shayne Adams is a strange guy to get a read on. Sometimes he’s all crappy and stuff and then other times he’s all crazy and cool. He should be crazy and cool more often.
Ash: Speaking of crazy, that pretty much sums up this next match, which happens to be a rematch of a bout from a few weeks ago.
Henson: Yeah, Turner won that time, but he’ll definitely lose this time.
Ash: Because he’s already in the ring…right?
The lights go pitch black as the opening of "Fall Back Down" by Rancid plays. Once the vocals for "Fall Back Down" start, Psycho Sam walks to the stage, snarling. Rock is behind Psycho Sam, overwhelmed by the audience. When the chorus starts, luminous blood drops from the ceiling onto Psycho Sam. Psycho Sam then runs towards the ring, with Rock closely following behind. Sam then slides under the ring and bites the ring ropes. He then climbs up towards the turnbuckle and gives the bird to the audience before wiping the blood off him.
Roth: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Nowhere, USA…KALEAN TURNER!
And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Rock, from the Island of Alcatraz…PSYCHO SAM!
Sam wastes no time waiting for the bell and lunges at Turner as soon as he steps through the ropes. Sam really takes the boots to him before he can regain composure, and then hooks his tights for a snap suplex! Into a cover…
Nonplused, Sam goes back on the offensive pulling Turner to his feet and dragging him to the nearest turnbuckle, smashing his face repeatedly as the morbid in the crowd chant along.
Ash: Punishing offense here by Psycho Sam.
Henson: That is because Kalean is a joke, and if he’s getting destroyed by Psycho Sam he is even more of a joke.
Sam lets Turner drop to the mat and begins untying the top turnbuckle to some severe protests from the ref. Sam, however, is not subscribing, and he throws the turnbuckle padding into a booing crowd. He flashes them a wicked smile in turn as he pulls a helpless Turner to his feet. But Turner turns it around and smashes Sam’s face into the turnbuckle instead! A huge pop from the crowd as Sam crumples to the mat from the blow. Turner rolls him up from behind and sits on the back of his legs for the pin.
The force of the kickout sends Turner flying face first into the exposed turnbuckle! There’s a huge sigh from the crowd, but meanwhile Sam rocks to his feet and waits for Turner to stumble backwards into a German suplex! Sam bridges for the pin…
Ash: Two near falls back to back, and it is again Psycho Sam on the offensive.
Henson: Can we please just get this over already?
Kalean Turner lies motionless on the mat having everything taken out of him by that exposed turnbuckle. Sam again finds himself pulling Turner to his feet and again launches him into the exposed turnbuckle. Only now Rock holds Turner’s feet in place so he can’t move from the turnbuckle, and the crowd roars with its disapproval. Psycho Sam just laughs as he gives a final look around and then suddenly throws up a middle finger to the crowd and shouts “FUCK YOU LARIATO!” Sam takes off running at Turner who is still slumped against that exposed turnbuckle, and with the same arm that he’s using to flip off the crowd he delivers a huge clothesline that crushes Turner against the exposed turnbuckle! Rock let’s go of Turner’s feet and lets him crumple to the mat. Sam then drags Turner to the center of the ring and places a single boot on his chest to a steady chorus of boos from the fans.
Roth: The winner of the match by way of pinfall…PSYCHO SAM!
The bell rings but it doesn’t stop Sam who has just grabbed a few rocks from Rock and begins to force them down Kalean’s throat, choking him. Turner gags uncontrollably, foaming at his mouth and spitting up rocks. The boos intensify as Psycho Sam demands a microphone from one of the ringside crew.
Psycho Sam: Sigh...Gideon Valdez...I know what you’re thinking...you think you are more ‘extreme’ than me. Well...I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think you are even half as extreme as I am. For the interest of these pathetic Fort Wayne fans, let’s make this short and sweet.
The fans jeer at Psycho Sam’s comment.
Psycho Sam: Woah, woah, woah, you losers. Those Colts you support are nothing more than abysmal. Support a real team...a team like the New England Patriots!
A huge jeer occurs with Psycho Sam praising the Colts’ most hated rival, the New England Patriots. Psycho Sam sneaks in a smile before continuing on.
Psycho Sam: Yeah, that’s right. Boo me all you want. I don’t care about any of you. I care about picking up the win, dominating my opponents, make them ‘Future Endeavoured’, collect the paycheck and go home. Hey, it has worked better than some of the 'entertainers'
The fans start a ‘Shut The Hell Up’ chant, obviously pissed off at Psycho Sam, begging him to shut his mouth up.
Psycho Sam: Gideon...you know, I had half a brain to reject your match. However, since LPW officials told me I had nothing at Action Packed...wait...Instant Classic, I faced you.
The fans laugh at that mixup.
Psycho Sam: Screw you, you fans! Your Colts are nothing more than crap!
The fans suddenly jeer for Psycho Sam.
Psycho Sam: This time, we’ll see who is more extreme. That’s why I wrestled tonight. I had nothing to do, and I wanted everyone in Legal...wait...Legacy Pro Wrestling to show the...uh...true side of me... so beware...everyone...I will dominate everyone!
The fans boo massively as Psycho Sam rolls out of the ring and heads up top. Before he fully heads backstage, he holds the microphone to his face and speaks into the microphone.
Psycho Sam: Prepare yourself...Gideon...because I will be the LAST...MAN...STANDING!!
Fall Back Down plays as Psycho Sam walks away to a chorus of jeers, as the scene fades to an ad.
TRUE Wrestling Adrenaline
Shayne Adams (7-4) vs. Drew Siler (0-0) vs. Gideon Valdez (2-0)
Henson: I think Psycho Sam is legitimately autistic or something. I just…I don’t…can we get to a match or something?
Ash: Ask and ye shall receive!
Henson: Shut up.
The lights drop. The fans begin to cheer in anticipation. There is a moment's pause before “Papercut” by Linkin Park begins to play and blue lasers dance around the arena. When the guitars kick in, there is a flash of light and a pop of fireworks as Shayne Adams steps out onto the ramp to rapturous cheers. The lights return to normal as Adams struts to the ring, with Rachelle in tow. He slides into the ring, lowering the bottom rope to allow his manager into the ring behind him. He climbs each turnbuckle in turn, puts hands on hips and lets a cocky smirk drift across his face. After the fourth turnbuckle, he talks to Rachelle as she puts an arm on his shoulder as he eyes the rampway.
Henson: Mr. Can’t Win the Big One himself.
Ash: He did come up short, but he has vowed to win a title by the end of the year.
Henson: Unless LPW brings in a “Can’t Win the Big One” Championship, he’s not got a chance.
“I AM SMELLIN’ LIKE THE ROSE THAT SOMEBODY GAVE ME ON MY BIRTHDAY DEATHBED…”
As STP’s Scott Weilan pierces the airwaves with his infamous soliloquy the entire arena erupts at the inevitable…
“I AM SMELLIN’ LIKE THE ROSE THAT SOMEBODY GAVE ME ‘CAUSE IM DEAD AND BLOATED!!”
The beat kicks in and out steps “Mr. D.I.Y.” Drew Siler to a roar of cheers loud enough to vibrate the dome. He pauses at the top of the ramp smirking, and playfully gestures with his hands ‘come on, you can do better than that’ ….and they do.
“AND SHE SAYS IT’S NATURAAAAAL…”
Satisfied, he nods approvingly and makes his way down to the ring not wasting any more time. He mounts the ring apron with a knee and steps between the ropes holding both arms up in a ‘#1’ salute to a final pop from the crowd. Drew then picks a neutral corner as STP fades from the PA System.
Ash: Well that was a nice entrance.
Henson: If you say so, seems like much ado for a newbie.
The lights dim as “Call to Arms” by the Defiled begins to play. Slowly Gideon Valdez emerges from the back and out onto the stage. His presence seems to knock a few degrees off the temperature as he coldly looks down at the ring before making his walk. He slowly climbs into the ring, giving his two competitors a quick look over before the lights come back up.
Henson: I’m still unsure about this guy. Maybe if he maims some people I’ll start to get into him.
Roth: The following match is the Co-Main Event of the evening and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Rachelle, from Edinburgh, Scotland…SHAYNE ADAMS!
And his opponent, fighting out of Cincinnati, Ohio…DREW SILER.
Their opponent, hailing from Mexico City, Mexico…GIDEON VALDEZ!
All three men stare on another down from opposite corners as the referee calls for the bell, starting the match. Valdez charges in at Adams, seemingly going to a spear, but Adams ducks out of the way and pulls down the top rope sending Valdez to the outside. Siler, not wasting the opportunity, attacks Adams with a vicious kick to the chest sending him down to the mat. Siler then lifts Adams to his feet, by his hair, and whips him off the ropes only to put Adams back down with a stiff lariat across the chest. Siler makes a quick cover, and the referee makes the count…
Adams kicks out quickly, not allowing his opponent to get even a near fall and the match continues. With Gideon Valdez on the outside, Siler continues his assault on Adams inside the ring. Siler lifts Adams to his feet and sets him up for a suplex. Siler hoists Adams half way into the air, but Adams successfully blocks the hold and Siler is forced to lower him down. The two men struggle back and forth but Adams drops to a knee and nails Siler in the abdomen with a hard right hand. Adams then gets to his feet and runs off the ropes, but is tripped by Valdez on the outside. With a secure grip on both of Adams’ ankles, Valdez yanks him to the outside of the ring.
Ash: Valdez looking to take this fight to the outside it seems.
Henson: Good, there are lots of dangerous toys out here.
Ash: Like your Mike Best toy?
Henson: Hush your face!
Valdez throws a huge right hand, but Adams ducks underneath and plants Valdez onto the outside floor with a beautiful back suplex. The crow cheers as Adams celebrates on the outside, but his celebration is short lived as Siler clubs him in the back of the neck with a hard forearm smash that sends him into the fan barrier. Siler taunts Adams before thrusting his shoulder in the center of his back. The fans in the front row cheer the men on in a mixed reaction for both wrestlers before erupting in boos as Valdez throws Siler over the barrier into the crowd. Numerous fans attempt to hand Siler chairs but he doesn’t accept the offerings and slowly climbs his way back over the barrier only to be knocked down to the floor by a well-placed Valdez clothesline. Valdez quickly turns his attention to Adams – now on his feet – and grabs him by the hair. Valdez yells inaudible obscenities in Adams faces before whipping him into the steel steps. Valdez follows up his attack on Adams by lifting Adams to his feet and rolling him into the ring just before the referee reaches his count of ten. Valdez makes a cover on Adams.
Ash: Valdez nearly had it there.
Henson: See, this is what I like. A little violence, some anger issues. Makes for a far more interesting match. Maybe if we’re lucky Adams will snap and stab someone with a spork.
Adams barely gets a shoulder off the mat which sends Valdez into a tirade against the referee. Valdez confronts the referee and argues the count, but the referee sticks to his guns by holding two fingers in the air. Valdez, infuriated with the referee, bends down to lift Adams, but Adams throws a kick up that connects flush with Valdez’ temple, and now Valdez is flat on his back in the center of the ring. Adams points to the top rope and quickly makes his way to the corner as the crowd cheers him on. Adams climbs to the top rope and points down at Valdez in the ring. Adams attempts to leap from the top rope, but is suddenly pushed off by Siler and crashes down on the outside floor. Siler, noticing the fallen Valdez, climbs to the top rope from the outside. Once Siler is atop the ropes Valdez stumbles to his feet but quickly Siler leaps and connects with a pretty cross body block with a pinning combination.
Just before the referee’s hand could strike the mat for the count of three, Shayne Adams breaks the hold with a stomp to the back of Siler’s head. Siler holds the back of his head as Adams rolls him out of the ring, and takes his attack to Valdez, but Valdez rolls Adams up and makes a pin attempt!
Ash: Lightning fast near finishes there.
Henson: Lets technical hooey pooey and more smashing people’s skulls please.
Adams kicks out in the nick of time and springs to his feet, but is quickly kicked in the stomach and powerbombed by Valdez! Valdez follows up with a stiff elbow drop across Adams’ chest and then locks in a Tongan Death Grip. The crowd boos wildly as Adams seems to go immediately limp. Valdez grits his teeth as he sinks the hold in tighter while the referee checks on Adams. Adams appears to be unresponsive as the referee lifts his arm in the air and drops it down. His arm slams against his side and the referee holds up a finger signifying the count of one. Again, the referee lifts Adams’ arm and once again it slams down. The referee shouts “Two!” For the final time the referee lifts Adams arm into the air and drops it down. Just before Adams’ arm reaches its impending doom Drew Siler snatches Valdez from behind and boots him in the stomach before hoisting him into the air and nailing the Sufficient-Plex in the center of the ring! The referee slides in for the count.
Adams slowly attempts to make his way toward Siler.
Adams is there and lunges in.
Adams lands on top of his opponents, but he’s too late! A count of three has been rendered and Drew Siler has won the match. Siler celebrates as the crowd goes insane with cheers.
Roth: The winner of the match by way of pinfall…DREW SILER!
Ash: Siler did it! Siler came into Action Packed, made his debut in the Co-Main Event and won!
Henson: Big whoop…
The camera cuts to the backstage area, where Shelly Summers looks a little perplexed as she begins to speak.
Summers: Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time, the voice of the anonymous co-owner of LPW...Francis James.
James enters from the right side of the shot.
Summers: Mr. James, you could have asked for, and gotten, time in the ring to speak. Why do so back here?
James: Because back here, there's less chance of Hardt deciding to interrupt me by physical means. Besides, this will be quick, and I want to make sure that everyone backstage watching the monitors, everyone in the arena, and everyone at home hears this.
Summers: Hears...what, Francis?
James: It's real simple. My employer seems to think—and rightly so, I may add—that Mason Hardt will find a way to interfere with the LPW Championship match at Instant Classic. There is precedent, after all, in how Stevens won the belt to begin with. So, my employer would like this message to go out:
Mr. Hardt, the last thing you want to do is interfere in a match. You see, I will be on hand personally to watch the show, and if you so much as try to jump onto the apron, or lift a finger to touch one of the wrestlers or officials during the match, I will stop at nothing to take the other half of LPW from you and give the fans what they want. I will not hesitate to physically involve myself in your affairs, and keep you from ruining what should be—no pun intended here—an instant classic.
In addition, I feel that there is someone missing from Instant Classic; someone who I feel earned their opportunity. That is I why I am interjecting this man into the Main Event as a special guest referee. This man has no love for you Hardt, I can assure you, and most certainly can’t be bought by you or Stevens. Furthermore, I see no reason why this man wouldn’t call the match right down the middle, seeing as he has disdain for both men involved. So as an extra layer of protection and as a way to boost our buy rates, Mike Best will be said referee.
Now, my other investment has come to an end, and I have finished reaping the benefits of it. There is nothing stopping me from turning a more active hand to my newest investment. Should you interfere at Instant Classic, you'll find out just how active I can be.
Your move, Mason. See you in two weeks.
James gives a nod to Summers and begins walking away before Shelly can begin asking all the questions she is compelled to ask. The scene cuts back to ringside where Ash and visibly upset Henson sit.
Henson: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!
Ash: HUGE news! Mike Best will be on hand and in the Main Event of Instant Classic.
Henson: This company sucks and this anonymous co-owner is going to sink it. What kind of man prevents treachery and subterfuge like this!
Ash: Nice use of subterfuge.
Henson: Fuck you.
Steve Solex (7-1) / Mark Devereaux (3-0) vs. Scott Stevens (7-4) / Boston John (3-0)
Ash: Well if it makes you feel any better, it is Main Event time. Hey wait a sec…that’s Bobby Dean!
The camera cuts to a shot of Bobby Dean in the front row of the audience. Security is quickly sent over to escort him out so he cannot cause trouble. However, he shows them his ticket and they have no choice but to leave him be.
Henson: How dare those security nerds try to get rid of Scott Stevens’ respected guest?
Ash: Probably because he likes to get involved in matches, if last show is any indication.
"Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine begins to play. The crowd cheers wildly as the lights in the arena dim slightly as a white light shines from behind the entrance ramp. The silhouette of Steve Solex and Mark Devereaux is shown atop the ramp. Steve’s hands rest firmly on his hips while Devereaux checks his wrist tape. White lights, reminiscent of camera flashes begin to flicker from different parts of the arena as they continue down the ramp. Before Solex slides in underneath the bottom rope, he and Bobby Dean stare each other down and jaw back and forth, but nothing is audible. Devereaux watches on, occasionally glancing behind for an ambush. Steve and Mark then enter the ring where Solex immediately takes a knee in the center of the ring looking up toward the ceiling. He smiles wide as he continues to stare up at the ceiling then walks to the corner and poses for the crowd from the second turnbuckle. He hops off as his music fades out.
Ash: This is definitely an interesting tag team you have here, but at least they are on the same page somewhat.
Henson: What is going on at the top of the ramp?
Some jostling can be seen around the curtain area, where an arm occasionally pops out and points to the ring. After a few seconds, Boston John emerges with an angry look on his face as he walks down the ring with no fanfare.
Ash: What the…
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing as Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "I am the Scorpion, whoa!" The jeering intensifies as a mash-up of "I Stand Alone" and "Amazing" hits the speakers, drawing out the former Legacy Pro Wrestling champion. Walking down the aisle, he talks trash the entire way while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he gets near Bobby Dean, the two exchange a high five and a smile. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down his opponent, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Roth: The following match is the Main Event of the evening. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 508 pounds, the team of Steve Solex and the LPW Wildcard Champion, Mark Devereaux!
And their opponents, at a combined weight of 541 pounds, the team of Scott Stevens and Boston John!
Ash: I don’t see how this team is going to coexist tonight.
Henson: Easy, Stevens will do all the work and Boston John will just stay out of the way.
The referee has the two men who not starting the match exit the ring before the bell. Starting off is Scorpion and Devereaux. Devereaux wants to lock up but Scorpion has none of it because he is yelling for Mark to tag in Solex. Mark tells Scorpion to lock up but Scorpion shakes his head no and tells him to tag his partner in. Devereaux just shakes his head and reluctantly goes over to his corner and extends his hand for Solex to tag in. Solex makes the tag and the crowd goes nuts as Solex makes his way into the ring. Scorpion and Solex begin to circle one another before Scorpion gives Steve the finger and walks over to Boston. He slaps him on the chest for the tag and he climbs out of the ring as the crowd boos Scorpion for tagging out. Boston looks at Scorpion from the ring apron and Scorpion yells go kick his ass.
Ash: So much for your theory.
As John makes his way through the ropes, Solex kicks the middle rope and Boston falls inside the ring. Solex puts the boots to him and then strikes a pose for the fans as they shower him with cheers. He points to Scorpion and says “watch this” as he picks up Boston and delivers a side belly to belly suplex. Steve shoots the half....
Solex grabs John by the head and puts him in a reverse chinlock. The referee asks if John submits and he yells no. Solex switches from the chinlock to a side headlock but it proves to be futile as Boston powers out with massive shots to the gut that has Solex in trouble. Solex is holding is stomach in pain and Boston sees an opportunity to strike; he delivers a running shoulder charge that sends Solex staggering back into his corner. Devereaux tags himself in and runs at Boston like a bat out of hell and begins to light John up with rights and lefts. John tries to cover up but no matter what he does the fists of Devereaux keep staggering the big man backwards. Scorpion reaches over the top rope and tags himself in unbeknownst to Devereaux and Boston. Scorpion hit's a chop block on Mark's knee and he falls limp to the mat holding his knee. Smelling blood, Scorpion begins to stomp away on the injured leg. Scorpion bounces off the ropes and delivers not one, but two running elbow drops to Devereaux's leg. He goes in for the cover and hooks the injured leg.
Henson: Come on Scott! Extract your revenge on this chump!
Ash: Leave it to Stevens to gain the upper hand with under handed tactics.
Scorpion not satisfied with the count, he begins to yell at the referee saying that it was slow. Scorpion sees Devereaux slowly crawling to his corner to make the tag but Scorpion kicks him in the gut to end is pursuit. As Mark is gasping for air after it was just kicked out of him Scorpion drags Mark to his corner and makes the tag to Boston. Boston comes into the ring and immediately drops an elbow on Mark. As Devereaux lays on the ground Scorpion begins to choke him. Solex tries to enter the ring to break it up but the referee stops him. Solex is yelling at the ref to do a better job. As Solex is tied up with the ref, John and Scorpion pick up Mark and deliver a double suplex. Boston goes for the cover and yells at the ref to count.
Solex with the save!
Mark begins to crawl to his corner, but Boston is back up and grabs his leg. Boston smiles as he believes he has Devereaux right where he wants him but Devereaux has other plans as he rolls forward and he sends John face first into the turnbuckle and Mark jumps over to make the tag to Solex. Solex jumps over the ropes and begins to stomp the hell out of John. After he quits stomping he pounds his chest and shouts “I'm the real champion”.
Henson: The hell you are!
Ash: Calm down there fan boy.
John slowly begins to crawl to his corner and Solex allows Scorpion to be tagged in. As Scorpion climbs into the ring, Solex rushes in for the attack but Scorpion steps back through ropes to the referee to get him back. As the ref holds Solex back, Scorpion pokes Steve in the eye and follows the rule breaking with a nasty right cross to the side of the face. Scorpion taps the side of his head to indicate he is smarter than Solex as he makes his way into the ring. Scorpion stalks his prey; he waits for Solex to turn around and delivers the Remember the Alamo....
Solex was waiting for him and caught the foot. Solex just smiles at Scorpion as he hops around on one foot begging off. Solex says some unflattering things to Scorpion and nails a dragon screw leg whip. Solex doesn't let go of the leg as he maintains control he picks up the other one and turns Scorpion over to put him into the Solexecution.
Ash: This could be over!
Henson: No! No! No!
The referee slides onto the mat and asks if Scorpion submits. Scorpion shouts no so Solex wrenches back more on the hold. Scorpion screams louder and looks ready to tap before Boston breaks the hold with a big boot to the back of Solex's head. Scorpion is back up to his feet and is waiting for Solex to do the same. Scorpion kicks Steve in the gut and goes for the Toxic Sting but Solex blocks it and sends Scorpion running into the ropes. Solex and Scorpion go crashing down to the mat from an attempted double clothesline. Solex makes it to his corner and tags Devereaux in who quickly goes for the cover.
Scorpion kicks out at 2 and 9/10s. While Scorpion is kicking out there is a commotion at the stage area. The crowd cheers as Drew Siler heads down to ringside wearing the new Boston John "Fenway Monstah" shirt. Siler starts walking around the ringside area being chummy with the fans in the front rows. Devereaux begins to pick up Scorpion when he hooks Mark's inside leg and attempts a small package....
Ash: Another near finish and it appears that we have someone who wants to get a better view at ringside.
Henson: Is that a fan?
Ash: No…that is Drew Siler…LPW wrester…you really do need to pay more attention.
Devereaux is back on the attack quickly, as he starts punching Scorpion before he can make it to his feet. Siler makes his way over to Boston and the two begin to chit chat. Devereaux has Scorpion and is ready to deliver the Devereaux Driver but Scorpion has enough strength to push Mark into the ropes and off the comeback bounce nails him with a Toxic Sting. Scorpion begins to crawl to his corner for the tag but Boston doesn't see it because his back is turned to Scorpion. Siler wants Boston John to autograph his shirt. John is a little confused, and annoyed because it's in the middle of a match but flattered at the same time. John gives in and hops off the apron just as Scorpion was about to tag him into the match to sign the shirt. Mark picks up Scorpion for a power bomb but Scorpion blocks it with a ring shaking DDT. As both combatants lay on the canvas, Siler pesters John about a quick photo. Boston yells no but Siler begs him and pleads with him until he finally gives in. Handing his cell phone to a fan, Siler and John take a picture together.
Henson: What the hell is this bullshit?! Conspiracy!
Ash: It looks like Boston John has a big time fan in Drew Siler.
Henson: I don’t give a shit, he’s ruining this match!
Because John was busy taking the photo he missed the tag Scorpion was looking for. Scorpion begins to cuss out John for not being on the ring apron to catch the tag. While Scorpion and John are arguing they don't see Solex enter the ring as the legal man. Solex rushes in a grabs Scorpion from the back and force Scorpion and John to collide with one another and John collides with Siler and Solex rolls Scorpion up, grabbing the tights for a little extra leverage.
Henson: YOU MOTHER FU…
Roth: The winners of the match by way of pinfall…STEVE SOLEX AND MARK DEVEREAUX!
The referee holds Steve Solex's and Mark Devereaux's hands in victory. Scorpion is pissed and he begins to cuss out the ref and gets in Solex's face. Bam! Solex and Devereaux fall to the ground and Scorpion cracks a smile as we see Bobby Dean standing over Devereaux and Solex with a chair in hand. The two begin to stomp away on the two motionless bodies, but as soon as they see Boston and Siler get back up and climb into the ring they bail. They both hop the guard rail and escape like thieves in the night through the crowd. Meanwhile inside the ring, Devereaux and John are about to come to blows as Siler keeps them from fighting and Solex storms up the ramp pissed as the scene fades out to the LPW logo.
"Hope you’re hungry! ‘Cause I got a Knuckle Sandwich... WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"
- Lunchbox Larry