July 30, 2011 - Fairfax VA - GMU:Center For The Arts
You open the DVD of WARPED 30 and enter it into your favorite DVD player. The sounds of "Pogo" by Digitalism play as the WARPED Wrestling logo floats down from the top to the middle of the screen. Underneath that fades in to words "Play DVD". You click... and the show begins.
The show fades in as we see "July 30, 2011 - Fairfax VA - GMU:Center For The Arts" on the bottom right of the screen.
The arena goes dark and the spotlight shines on the entrance stage, with blue strobe lights mixed in with the white, bright spotlights. From the entrance comes PKA, clothed in black boots, black, baggy jeans, a white tank top wife beater, and a black leather jacket over that. He also wears a black hat, faced backwards, with a long, silver chain around his neck. PKA stops on the stage and holds both arms in the air, fists touching, before dropping them to his side and continuing down the ramp. He looks lost, depressed, unhappy, as he walks down the ramp. PKA reaches the steps and walks up, then heads up onto the turnbuckle, and holds both arms out in a crucifix. He surveys the crowd with a look of sorrow on his face, before hopping into the ring from the turnbuckle. He pulls a microphone out of his jeans pocket and speaks as his music dies down.
PKA: "Twitter is a great tool to get your point across. Follow me @OfficialPKA by the way..."
The crowd boos as they really don't care for PKA!
PKA: "So, Fairfax, Virginia, here we are. Its show time... and there's a lot of people in the back ready to go. There's just one thing missing - the President of WARPED Wrestling - Mr. Joey Matthew. Now I have been looking all over for him in George Mason University and so far, nothing. Tell me.. why would the boss be absent from the 30th WARPED event? RIDDLE ME THIS! RIDDLE ME THAT! I just as curious as a cat... Joey! I have made some changes in my WARPED career that we've spoken about. I'm done with The Movement.. I'm done with letting petty things tick me off.. I'm done with-"
"Shut The Fuck Up!" *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* "Shut The Fuck Up!" *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* "Shut The Fuck Up!" *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* ....
PKA tries his best to not let this bother him... as he allows the fans to fade out a bit before continuing. Gritting his teeth, PKA speaks again..
PKA: "As I was saying - I am ready to do the job you obviously have FAILED at. Look at WARPED. This company is in the shitter, and I'm here to make everything right again. I am going to lead this company and everyone who's ready to give it their all to the promise land! Can I get an AMEN!"
"Line Of Blood" by Ty Stone begins to play. The arena goes dark as green strobe lights illuminate the stage, while the ring is light up red. Crowbar steps out from behind the curtain wearing stressed looking jeans, black boots, and a black t-shirt, with an evil, uncaring smile to a chorus of boo's. He stands on the stage and looks around, his face only light up by the green strobes. He starts walking down to the ring, looking around and laughing at the hate the fans have for him. He climbs up the steps into the red and extends his arms out to his sides as the line "They say i'm the bastard son of one bad motherfuckin' line of blood" hits as the crowd continue to express their distaste.
PKA: "You're not who I wanted to see... leave."
Crowbar walks over and grabs a mic.
PKA: "If you're not going to leave, I will."
Crowbar stands in the middle of the ring and looks at PKA and laughs as PKA leaves the ring.
Crowbar: "Well, aren't you a bit of a wimpy bastard then? Walking away from me because I'm not Joey...what, don't want to talk to me face to face like a man? Are you that much of a chickenshit? Fine, run off to the back into your dark corner and fuck right off buddy, you claim to be the Ultraviolent Perfectionist, yet, all you do is walk the hell away from someone you can only cheap-shot constantly."
Crowbar walks towards the ropes
Crowbar: "Truth be told, I'm tired of you and your games, you're after Joey? Fine, you go on your little vendetta quest, leave the big boys to play, as will be proven in the tag match tonight. We don't need you...I don't need you, you need us, right now you're a loner walking around with a giant bulls-eye on your back. Nobody to back you up, nobody at all. When you get your head on right...and I know thats a little funny coming from me, but who cares?"
Crowbar: "When you get your head on right, come find me, because all I'll be doing now is watching to see who gets to you first. Be it StarrZoe, Logan, hell, maybe even Havok, who knows? May even be me, though you know damned well you never see me coming. So, Patrick Kay Anthony, to quote an overused, but valid line, good luck with your future endeavors!"
Crowbar puts down the mic and heads out the ropes, walking towards the back. Fade out..
Muhammad Rushdi vs. Craig Cohen
Randy Long stands in the middle of the ring prepared to announce for the first match of the night for the fans here in Fairfax, Virginia!
Randy Long: "The opening contest for this evening is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first - making his in-ring debut in WARPED Wrestling - from New York City, weighing in at 243 pounds - Muhammad Rushdiiiiiii!"
While the fans sit restless for the next match to start Gold Cobra by Limp Bizkit starts over the PA system. The fans look towards the entrance way and begin to boo uncontrollably as we see Muhammad Rushdi step through the black curtains out into the arena. Rushdi raises his arms in the air and flips off the crowd off. He puts his arms down and walks down isle before making it to the ring. He roles into the ring under the bottom rope as he goes to the center of the ring and once again flips off the crowd and you can read Rushdi's lips as he says fuck you! He goes over to the right side of the ring and bounces off the ropes a couple time to warm up a little.
Randy Long: "And from Sacramento, California - weighing in at 210 pounds - "Double C" Craig Cohennn!"
The lights go out and "So What'cha Want?" hits the PA System and out comes Craig Cohen. He holds in his left hand a black Menorah and holds it in the air as the fans boo. Cohen makes his way down the aisle and slides into the ring. He goes to the middle of the ropes and steps up on them, holding the Menorah high into the air with a smile on his face as the fans boo the man who calls himself "The Chosen Jew".
The bell sounds and Muhammad Rushdi heads right for Craig Cohen, pummeling him with right hands. Cohen battles back with some kicks to the chin and a knife edge chop. Rushdi stumbles back into the corner and Cohen grabs him by the head and kicks up off the turnbuckle and goes for a DDT but Rushdi pushes him off then nearly takes his head off with a quick clothesline. He covers.. 1... kick out! Rushdi brings Cohen up to his feet and hits a belly to back suplex into the cover once more.. 1.. 2.. kick out! He brings Cohen up to his feet and Cohen battles back with a knee to the gut and then he hits a Russian Legsweep and immediately applies a front facelock. Rushdi grabs the ropes though and is able to escape the hold. Cohen up, and on the top buckle now. Rushdi rises and Cohen leaps off with a crossbody but Rushdi leaps up and hits the Snake Bite (Diamond Cutter) and plants him in the ring! Rushdi covers... 1... 2... 3!!!
Kris Red: "Just like that, its OVA!"
The bell sounds.
Randy Long: "Here is your winner - Muhammad Rushdiiiii!"
"Gold Cobra" hits the PA system as Rushdi gets to his feet and demands his arm be raised by the referee, and the ref obliges. He then pulls his arm away and demands a microphone. Randy Long hands one through the ropes and his music dies down..
Muhammad Rushdi: "You see, like i said before....Cohen return match would be short lived! This was my first step towards the top. What do all of you bitches think about that!"
The crowd boos loudly.
Muhammad Rushdi: "Now you may know, or may not know, but Mr. Havok thinks he can talk shit, and run his mouth and tweeter. I told him i wanted to see him in the ring tonight, but i dont think that is going to happen! So with that i am challenging you Mr. Havok!"
Rushdi drops the mic and "Gold Cobra" plays once more as the crowd boos him.
The scene fades in to see Kelly Calloway standing by with Chad Santana... A graphic reads "Last Week" on the bottom left corner.
Kelly Calloway: "Kelly Calloway reporting for WARPED Wrestling. Chad Santana, at WARPED 29 you turned your back on Rico Calle after only a month and a half ago you returned to assist him in his battle against Craig Cohen. What happened?"
Chad Santana crosses his arms and nods his head to Kelly.
Chad Santana: "Mamacita, its clear ya know.. he didn't do his job, so I'm done with Rico! I ain't lettin' him push me 'round, that's why ya boy left him on da ground! Turn my back on him? Hardly. Esse vato learned not to cross me the HARD WAY!"
"I'm through with this."
Santana walks off the set.
Randy Long: "The following grudge match is scheduled for one fall.. introducing first, from Elizabeth, New Jersey, weighing in at 219 pounds - The Lucha Libre Gangsta - Chad Santana!"
The sound of "Deep Cover" by Dr. Dre plays as everyone turns toward the ring entrance area. The lyrics are heard: "Tonight's the night I get in some shit, (Yeah) Deep cover on the incognito tip" and out walks Chad Santana in baggy, sagging shorts, a sports jersey, and a bandana on his head. He throws up hand signs and screams out in Spanish as he makes his way toward the ring. Santana flips off fans and tells them to keep their hands away from him before he rolls into the ring. He slaps his chest twice with his left hand then raises it into the air with his hand formed into a gun.
Randy Long: "Introducing his opponent- from New York City, weighing in at 165 pounds - Mean Street, Rico Calle!!"
The Streets "Blinded By The Lights" plays as Rico Calle pushes the curtain out of the way and covers his eyes, pauses, then removes his hands, bringing them out, and he takes a look at the fans who cheer him on. "Lights are blinding my eyes..." is heard over the sound system. He smiles as he gets up to his feet and runs down toward the ring and slides in. Rico spins and puts his arms out and the fans continue to cheer and applaud.
The bell sounds and Rico Calle and Chad Santana meet face to face in the middle of the ring and go back and forth.
Tony D: "It was just a few weeks ago that Chad Santana came to the aid of Rico Calle.. but after WARPED 29 and some misunderstandings, Chad Santana has turned his back on Rico Calle."
Kris Red: "Let's just be honest about it - Rico wouldn't do the dirty work of Chad Santana but he should've. What else does that kid have going for him, really?"
Santana tells Rico that he should've known better and Rico slaps him across the face. Santana pushes Rico into the ropes and he bounces off and Chad goes for a tilt a whirl but Rico counters into a headscissors! Santana up to his feet and Calle delivers quick kicks to his chins. Santana is backed into the ropes and Rico climbs up and begins punching him repeatedly. Santana pushes him off at the fifth punch and Rico runs to the corner and Chad moves out of the way, causing Rico to crash. Santana hits a belly to back suplex and covers... 1.. 2.. kick out!
Tony D: "Santana gets a two count in the first pin of the match.. "
Kris Red: "These guys are definitely keeping it at a fast pace, and I love that!"
Santana stomps on Rico now and then goes to drop an elbow but Rico Calle moves out of the way and both men get to their feet... Rico with a right hand and another and another, backing Chad Santana into the ropes. Irish whip.. countered.. Rico off the ropes and Santana goes for a dropkick but Calle puts on the breaks! Santana slowly starts rising and Calle hits a running front dropkick that sends him to the outside!
Kris Red: "A Collision by Rico Calle!"
Tony D: "And off that move he has something dangerous in mind!"
The crowd is pumped as Rico teases heading to the outside... Santana slowly gets to his feet and Calle charges at the ropes and hits a Somersault Suicide Dive! The crowd goes wild as Rico gets to his feet and slaps the hands of the fans as they cheer him on.
Tony D: "Amazing Somersault Suicide Dive!!"
He grabs Santana and rolls him into the ring. Santana slowly gets to his feet while Rico hits a Springboard Spinning Heelkick!
Kris Red: "Rico is movin' a mile an hour!!"
He then quickly picks Santana up and lifts him up in a Torture Rack...
Tony D: "Highway to HELL!"
..he then swings him down into a PILEDRIVER! He covers!! 1... 2... 3!!! Its over!
Kris Red: "O-V-A!"
The bell sounds and "Blinded By The Lights" plays as the crowd erupts in cheers for Rico Calle! He stands up and has his arm raised in victory as he grins ear to ear.
A graphic reads "Last Week" on the bottom left corner of the screen - Austin Sanders catches up with SwitchBlade as he is leaving the Richmond Raceway Complex...
Austin Sanders: "SwitchBlade! Can I get some words with you regarding your match?"
SwitchBlade, his head still pounding, turns to Austin and glares at him with the pure intensity and rage. He grabs Austin by the cuff of his shirt, and as he takes in a deep breath he lets out a single line.
SwitchBlade: Tell Grendel...that he's finished. You hear me? FINISHED!
He shoves Sanders out of the way and makes his way to the back, a fire still burning inside him.
Flustered, Sanders looks into the camera.
Austin Sanders: "Well fans, there you have it.. SwitchBlade is NOT in a good mood. In just 10 days he will get his hands on Grendel one on one in Fairfax, Virginia. For WARPED, this is Austin Sanders reporting!" Fade...
Evolution Championship - Sean Edmunds(c) vs. Anton Chase
To the ring!
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WARPED Evolution Championship! Introducing first, the former champion - from Los Angelas, California, weighing in at 210 pounds - The FUTURE Anton Chase!"
As Faint By Linkin Park blasts over the pa system, white smoke fills the entrance way as a person is seen behind the white smoke, as the person steps forward in front of the white smoke Anton Chase makes his way down the ramp way, with a cocky smile on his face and his arms out at the side, he climbs in the ring and climbs the second ropes and puts one hand up in the air.
Randy Long: "And introducing his opponent - beging accompanied to the ring by Miss Karla, he hails from BOSTON, Massachusetts, weighing in at 228 pounds - he is the NEWWWWWW Evolution Champion, "Simply Sensational" Sean Edmuuuuuunds!"
The first few guitar riffs of "Brain Stew" by Green Day blare over the PA system. The lights dim and four local area women walk out holding Fourth of July sparklers ... they line the outside of the entrance way ... and through the curtain steps "Simply Sensational" Sean Edmunds, Evolution Championship around his waist. Miss Karla follows behind him and as they make their way to the ring, Edmunds jaws with a few fans. Edmunds climbs one of the corners and throws his hands in the air as the fans jeer him. He hops off, turns around and waits for Miss Karla to take off his robe.
As the crowd dies down and Miss Karla exits the ring with the Evolution Championship, Edmunds smirks at Anton Chase and asks for a microphone. The crowd roars in disapproval as the ring announcer tosses him a microphone.
Edmunds: “Now, now, now… Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
The crowd gets even louder as Chase complains to the referee.
Edmunds: “In just a few moments you’ll all get your wish and I will wipe this very mat with Anton Chase.”
Trash litters the ringside area. An empty coke cup hits Karla and she screeches.
Edmunds: “QUIET! Your Evolution champion is speaking!”
The crowd responds with “WHAT?!” Edmunds huffs.
Edmunds: “For the past two weeks I’ve had to listen to you, Anton, talk about how I am a scavenger who swooped in and stole the Evolution Championship away from you.”
Anton raises his arms like “Duh.”
Edmunds: “Are you that blind, Anton? Can you not see what is standing in front of you? I came out at WARPED 29 and promised you that, not only would I completely outclass you in your own match, but that I’d also walk away with the belt you had been holding hostage. I am a man of my WORD. Unlike you, Anton, I say what I do and do what I say. THAT is why you’re so upset, isn’t it?”
Edmunds smirks as he walks around the ring, an arm outstretched to the crowd.
Edmunds: “Anton Chase promises you imbeciles the WORLD… and when he can’t keep his promises you turn on the messenger.”
On the outside, Karla raises her hands above her head and claps furiously.
Edmunds: “It must be tearing you up inside – knowing that Sean Edmunds was able to swoop in and end your reign with a flick of his wrist. Anton Chase … the FIGHTING CHAMPION … got knocked the fuck out in the first round by “Simply Sensational.” Don’t worry, Anton.. you’re not the first person whose fragile ego I’ve smashed into pieces.”
Chase is getting visibly pissed and it is taking every ounce of the referee’s strength to keep him in the corner.
Edmunds: “For all your tough talk, you really are a softy.”
Edmunds had turned to the fans, but immediately turns back to Chase, as if he forgot to say something. Edmunds: “No really… you need to get back into the gym.. your gut felt a little wiggly last week.”
Crowd jeers! Edmunds laughs as he walks to his corner and places a foot on the second turnbuckle pad.
Edmunds: “I know that everyone here in Fairfield…”
HUGE JEERS! Karla yells something up at Edmunds.
Edmunds: “Fairfax? Isn’t that what I said?”
Karla shakes her head.
Edmunds: “Does it matter? In two hours they’re going to be too drunk and fingering their sisters to even remember.
MASSIVE JEERS. Edmunds winks.
Edmunds: “It’s okay, guys, really.. because Anton over there will be so distraught after failing once again to me that he’ll buy the first round at Billy Bob’s Beer Shack.”
Edmunds turns and leans his back against the pads as he stares at Chase.
Edmunds: “You want MY belt, Anton? Come and get it.”
With that, Edmunds tosses the microphone to the mat and blows a kiss to Karla on the outside.
The referee then calls for the bell and it sounds! They immediately tie up and try to overpower the other...
The camera then catches none other than PKA making his way to the announce table. He has a seat as the two men in the ring continue to go back and forth, until suddenly Edmunds with the go behind and a quick roll up...1...2... kick out!
Tony D: "A quick pin attempt from Sean Edmunds already! And PKA has joined us at the table.. what do we owe this visit from you, PKA?"
Kris Red: "Mah man!"
PKA: "Sup Kris? Tony..Let's not be stupid and ask retarded questions.I'm here because clearly if I'm going to run this place I need to keep an eye out on the important situations in the company and this Evolution Title situation lately has been outrageously entertaining! Extravagently entertainment, I say!"
Both men get to their feet.. Chase quickly approaches but Edmunds hits an arm drag! Chase up.. another arm drag! And Anton Chase rolls out of the ring, heading up the aisle, shaking his head.
Tony D: "Anton Chase seems to be a bit frustrated! Is he LEAVING?"
PKA stands up and grabs a microphone, and shouts at Chase...
PKA: "Bitch you can't win the Evolution Title back that way!"
Chase turns around and shoots PKA a look... he shakes his head and runs back to the ring.. and Edmunds is right there to stomp, but Chase battles his way up. Chase tackles Edmunds to the mat and delivers hard punches!
PKA: "That's right! Get it!"
Edmunds pushes Chase off and both get to their feet. Chase goes for an irish whip but Edmunds reverses and sends Chase to the corner. Edmunds charges in but Chase moves out of the way, however Edmunds stops himself, then hits a back elbow on Chase followed by a standing dropkick! Edmunds climbs the turnbuckle and comes off with an Elbow Drop! He connects! Sean Edmunds with the cover looking to retain his title... 1.. 2... kick out!!
PKA: "So Tony D do you have any idea where Joey is tonight?"
Tony D: "I can't say that I have any clue."
Edmunds brings Chase to his feet while Karla cheers on the Evolution Champion! He hits a belly to back suplex and quickly covers.. 1.. 2.. kick out!
PKA: "That's quite all right. I know he's here somewhere. I'm going to call his assss out again!"
Kris Red: "Perhaps you're right. Maybe he's recently arrived even."
PKA: "Oh no, he's here. I just know it. He's been here all night."
Edmunds brings Chase up and bodyslams him down, then heads to the corner and climbs to the middle turnbuckle. Edmunds strikes a pose and the fans give a mixed reaction.. just then Chase is up and he rips one foot out from under Edmunds to bring him face first to the mat! He rolls Edmunds over and pulls him away from the ropes... COVER! 1... 2... kick out! Chase slaps the mat and gets in the face of the referee telling him to freakin' count! Chase brings Edmunds to his feet and whips him into the ropes and hits a back body drop! Edmunds starts to get up but Chase kicks him in the face and covers... 1.. 2... kick out! Chase isn't pleased with the count and shoots the referee an angry look.
Tony D: "Another two count for the former Evolution Champion, Anton Chase.."
PKA: "He's all sorts of pissy tonight!"
Sean Edmunds gets to his feet and while Chase has his attention toward the referee, Edmunds hits a backslide... 1.. 2.. Chase rolls out and both men get to their feet, and Chase locks in a side headlock. The crowd suddenly starts a slight "Sean Edmunds" chant. With the side headlock on, they back toward the ropes and Chase goes for a bulldog but Edmunds counters and Chase gets pushed away and on his ass! Edmunds hits the ropes and comes back for a knee to the face but Chase lays down to avoid it. Chase up.. Edmunds comes at him.. Chase wraps his arms around Edmunds and hits an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! Chase immediately brings Edmunds to his feet and looks to hit the Styles Clash and... he does!
Tony D: "Chaos Theory connects!"
Kris Red: "New Champ time!"
Chase into the cover... 1... 2.. suddenly Karla starts sliding into the ring and the referee stops his count and keeps her from entering.
Tony D: "Wait a minute!"
She backs up out of the ring and the referee argues with her from in the ring that she can't be involved!!
PKA: "That trickster Karla tryin' to get her nose where it don't belong!"
Chase brings Edmunds to his feet and suddenly Edmunds goes for the Northern Lights Suplex but Chase has enough wits about him to kick Edmunds right in the balls - then hit the Chaos Theory/Styles Clash again!
Kris Red: "Anton Chase dropped Sean Edmunds like a bad habit!"
Tony D: "The low blow though!! The ref didn't see that!"
The referee turns around and sees the pin going on and slides into the count..
PKA: "Ohh no.."
1.... 2..... the referee gets pulled out of the ring by PKA!
Kris Red: "Whoa wait!"
PKA tells the referee what he just witnessed and the crowd agrees that Anton Chase did in fact low blow! Anton Chase gets up on the apron and yells at both of them to stop arguing and get back in the ring and count! Meanwhile the referee tells PKA that he didn't see a thing and PKA has no right to pull him out of the ring and stop the match and he PUSHES PKA!
Tony D: "The referee and PKA aren't seeing eye to eye.. "
PKA isn't having that as he pulls back and hits a SUPERKICK~! to the official! The crowd pops and in the ring Sean Edmunds picks something up from the mat that was slid in by Karla and he turns Chase around and clocks him over the face with a right hand!
Tony D: "Edmunds with the brass knuckles!"
Chase goes down and Edmunds slides what looks to be brass knuckles out to Karla.. and he covers Chase, yelling at PKA, who turns toward the ring and shrugs his shoulders... PKA slides in and counts 1.... 2.... 3!
Tony D: "Three count!"
Kris Red: "Whoa!"
The bell sounds... "Brain Stew" begins playing!
Randy Long: "Here is your winner and STILL Evolution Champion - Sean Edmuuuuuuuunds!"
Sean Edmunds gets to his feet with a huge smile on his face as the crowd boos. Miss Karla enters the ring and hands over the Evolution Title to her man and PKA points to Sean as the winner. Edmunds poses as the crowd continues to boo.
Tony D: "Well I gotta say, it seems that PKA had the best intentions but perhaps he's unaware of what really went down..."
Kris Red: "I say we keep quiet about that, Tony D..."
PKA applauds as Edmunds and Miss Karla make their way from the ring. "Brain Stew" fades out and PKA is leaning up against the corner buckle with a microphone in hand. He taps it three times before lifting it up.
PKA: "Now you see, its things like THAT that's gonna make me a great boss. I tell ya!"
The crowd boos and begins a "You Fucked Up!" chant. PKA looks baffled.
PKA: "Oh now, that's not niiiiice..."
"You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up!"
PKA rolls his eyes and moves past it.
PKA: "So here I am once more, ready to have my meeting of the minds with President Joey Matthew- OR, as half of the roster calls him- Joey MATTHEWS.. ugh. Now Joey, bossman, are you gonna come out here? I know you're here. Surely you wouldn't no show your 30th show? Come on..."
PKA waits... nothing.
PKA: "I mean this is kind of an important show to be at, isn't it? There's so much more to come in this show, Joey, that you shouldn't miss! My old buddies Korrupt and Crowbar have a match! Hey! WOO! They face Drake Havok and Cameron MacNichol. That is just AWESOME..."
Sarcasm - PKA's best friend. He wears a big smile.
PKA: "Oh and SwitchBlade is gonna face Grendel and-and get this! Grendel must win, or he is out of the company. Boy oh boy, this one-"
"Who Shot Ya?" by the Notorious B.I.G. begins to blast through the public announce system while the top of the metal ramp fills with smoke. Alexander StarrZoë emerges from the smoke to the cheers and applause of the fans. Alex struts down the ramp, slapping the hands of a few fans sitting ringside and climbs to the top turnbuckle, staring into the people. Hopping into the ring, Starr climbs up on the second rope, facing the fans, and raises his fist into the air as the fans cheer; "StarrZoë! StarrZoë! StarrZoë!"
Alexander StarrZoe: “Well ain’t this some shit?”
PKA: "You're not Joey Matthew. You're not even Joey MATTHEWS.."
Alexander StarrZoë smiles as PKA tosses the microphone down and shakes his head. PKA exits through the ropes and hops down off the apron, heading up the aisle. The fans boo the man’s disappearance.
Alexander StarrZoe: “Everyone do me a favor and shut the fuck up! I’m going to make this real short and sweet; I’ve exchanged words with these three assholes for the last…what? Two months almost? The most that the ‘brave’ leader has had to say was in 140 characters on Twitter! Or are we going to count the five minutes he showed up and said “haha I have a lot of money and now I’m going to talk shit!’ You know what the difference between talking shit and meaning what you say is? I have the resume and the cash to back what I say, you on the other hand have a less than impressive history and NOTHING to prove to this industry that you mean shit! Congratulations you’ve won titles that mean nothing and you’ve beaten nobodies, I hope you’re proud because to the rest of the world you mean nothing. P.K.A. put a shit ton of cash into this promotion right? Well Joey bringing me in alone just guaranteed P.K.A. two times his returned at least. At the end of the day, you’ve got two options man; either you shut the fuck up and be appreciative of the talent around here that’s making you money or you continue to talk shit and I’ll make you a first hand promise to not only knock you the fuck out but I’ll beat all the money you put into this promotion out of you so that you no longer feel an obligation to this place and you can no longer hold it above the heads of people far more talented than you.”
The scene fades as StarrZoë drops the microphone and walks out of the ring.
Tag Team Match - Korrupt & Crowbar vs. Drake Havok & Cameron MacNichol
Randy Long: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first - from Cleveland, Ohio - DRAKE HAVOK!"
As Freya starts blasting though the House PA system Drake steps out on to the stage. He slowly raises his left arm and looks across the crowd and then runs to the ring, and slides in under the bottom rope tot he middle of the ring pops to his feet and throws up both arms. Drake then makes his way to the nearest corner turnbuckle and leans against them eyeing his oppenet.
Randy Long: "And his tag team partner, from Detroit Michigan, being accompanied by his sister Dyan - Cameron MacNichol!"
As "Stranglehold" crunches out over the speaker system, Cameron walks out from behind the curtain arm-in-arm with his sister Dyan. They pause, he gives her a brotherly peck on the cheek, and they continue on down to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, and she prompts the audience to cheer louder..
Randy Long: "Their opponents - representing The Movement - Crowbar and the WARPED World Heavyweight Champion, Korrrrrrupt!"
Suddenly the lights go down and "Empire" by Machinae Supremacy begins to blare through the arena. Korrupt and Crowbar comes from the back looking around at the crowd, the lights throbbing a blood red. They walk down the ramp slowly and head into the ring, as the fans boo.
Tony D: "Korrupt the World Champion and Crowbar, the apparent remaining members of The Movement after PKA announced that he was no longer apart of the group."
Kris Red: "Yeah.. and at WARPED 29 PKA dropped Crowbar with a Superkick and then laid down for a loss for his team.. We haven't heard a lot from Korrupt, but Crowbar has been vocal that he's moving on!"
The bell sounds as Crowbar and Cameron MacNichol are going to start this one off. Collar and elbow tie up... Crowbar with a knee lift to the midsection of Cameron MacNichol, and then he applies a side headlock. Crowbar reaches his free arm out and tags in Korrupt, who comes in as Crowbar holds MacNichol.. Korrupt with a kick to the midsection. Crowbar lets go and starts to leave the ring until suddenly.. KFO!!!
Tony D: "WAIT A MINUTE!"
Kris Red: "KFO!!"
Crowbar lept up and hit the jumping cutter on his own partner! The referee and Cameron are both shocked in the ring. Drake Havok looks on from the apron, confused. Crowbar lifts the body of Korrupt up and hands him over to Cameron who applies The Stranglehold (Cobra Clutch).
Tony D: "What is going on here?!"
Kris Red: "The Movement is crumbling!"
The referee raises the arm of Korrupt once, and it drops. He raises the arm again, and it drops. Korrupt's legs are buckled and he is clearly not with it.. Raise of the arm - drops. The ref calls for the bell and Cameron drops Korrupt. "Stranglehold" by Ted Nugent plays over the PA as Drake enters the ring and Crowbar exits...
Randy Long: "Here are your winners - Drake Havok and Cameron MacNichol!"
Their arms are raised in victory as they both look on at the aisle way where Crowbar is walking away... they look confused that this is the second time something like this has happened... Fade...
Main Event - Grendel vs. SwitchBlade
Randy Long: "The following contest is our main event of the evening!"
The crowd pops!
Randy Long: "The stipulation of this match is that if SwitchBlade wins - Grendel must LEAVE the company!"
The crowd pops for that as well!
Randy Long: "Introducing first - from Columbus, Ohio, weighing in at 345 pounds - GRENDEL!"
The lights go black in the arena then the arena is flooded with green lights on the stage. As the whistling starts in the opening of Rammstein’s "Engel". Jade steps out from behind the curtain she slides to the right of the stage. The guitars stop pouring out over the PA system and as the lyrics start Grendel steps out from behind the curtain he grabs his left wrist and rolls it twice and then grabs his right wrist and rolls it twice, and then locks his fingers and craks then and rolls his neck twice and starts walking to the ring with a look of determination on his face. As Grendel walks to the ring with Jade by his side he pays no attention to the fans and when he gets to the ring ducks under the top rope. As Grendel enters he walks to the center and holds up one fist as the lights go to normal in the arena.
Randy Long: "And his opponent - from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 192 pounds - SwitchBlaaaaaade!"
SwitchBlade slowly steps through the curtain to a large number of cheers. He is dressed in his usual attire of a black short sleeve shirt with a leather jacket, blue jeans, and black shoes. He also has on his trademark gold belt and sunglasses, but this time also has a necklace with a switchblade pendant on it.
As Switchblade enters the ring he goes right up to Grendel and starts yelling at him and Grendel starts yelling right back at him then both men start swinging on each other with closed fists.
Tony D: "And here we go! This match is ON!"
The bell sounds!
Switchblade gets the upper hand on Grendel and driver him back to the corner turnbuckle still throwing closed fist at the monster Grendel.
Kris Red: "SwitchBlade is fired up!"
The ref comes and gets in between Switchblade and Grendel , Switchblade yells at the ref to get out of the way see his chance Grendel hits a massive right hand sends Switchblade stumbling back.
Tony D: "This is a match months in the making Kris! These two aren't holding anything back!"
Grendel walks up on the dazed Switchblade and starts hammering him with rights and lefts Driving Switchblade to his knees. Again the ref comes up and breaks up the action and warns Grendel to open the fist up Grendel laughs at him. Switchblade gets his sense back and hits a low kick on Grendel which causes the big man double over Switchblade grabs him and throws him out of the ring and drops back to his knees.
Tony D: "That was a dangerously close kick there that could've gotten SwitchBlade disqualified..."
Switchblade gets back up and goes out on to the floor and and again starts to pound on the hurt Grendel and the ref starts to yell at Switchblade, But switchblade keeps pounding on Grendel not listening to the ref. Grendel blocks a left and lands a big right and throws Switchblade back in to the ring and then follows him back into the ring. Grendel starts stomping on Switchblade as he lays on the mat and then leans down and starts to choke Switchblade his hands the ref comes over and starts yelling at Grendel for stop choking Switchblade, but Grendel does not listen to the ref. He then pulls Grendel off of Switchblade and gets in the face of Grendel telling him he better keep his cool! Grendel laughs at him as Switchblade gets up he runs at Grendel grab both his legs and driving him down to the mat and starts pounding on him again with closed fists!
Tony D: "These guys won't stop!!"
Kris Red: "My God look at those fists they are throwing!"
The ref pulls Switchblade off of Grendel as Grendel gets to his feet, and the ref stands in between them and calls for the bell for the match to start.
Tony D: "Wai.."
The bell sounds and both men charge each other and again start blasting each other with closed fist. The ref throws his hands up and calls for the bell and officials to come from the back.
Kris Red: "Did the ref just throw this match out!?"
The ring fills with extra refs and mangement people and they get Switchblade and Grendel apart and then “Hang Me Up To Dry “ by the cold war kids starts to blast though the PA system and PKA steps out on top of the ramp.
PKA: "Cut the music, cut it!"
Music dies down..
PKA: "Seeing as how I still haven't found the fearless leader, I am making a management call. The two of you want to kill each other? How about you do it at WARPED 31 in a No Rope, Barbwire DEATH MATCH! Let's get FnX, baby!"
Suddenly Grendel blindsides Switchblade with a big boot knocking him out cold, and then he slides out of the ring and grabs a mic and a chair and gets back into the ring. Grendel sets up the chair and and then picks up Switchblade with a mighty jerk.. Grendel has Switchblade up in a monstrous powerbomb and slams down on the open chair with Switchblades neck hitting the back part of the chair and his back slaming in to the seat of the chair. The chair crumbles under the force that Switchblade hit it and he is holding his neck Grendel rips off a leg of the chair and starts to dig it into the fore head of Switchblade - blood starts to run down the face of Switchblade.
Grendel then goes out of the ring and starts to pull some cords in to the ring and starts to wrap them around the neck of Switchblade. Then Grendel picks up the mic..
Grendel: "Why wait, I warned you all what would happen and well seeing as how I am a man of my word I am going to destroy Switchblade and then destroy WARPED wrestling by sending the golden boy, the icon of WARPED the poster boy of this shit hole promotion screaming to hell !”
Then Grendel grabs Switchblade and throws him over the top rope and pulls on the cords. Switchblade’s feet dangling and shock as he grabs at cords wraped around his neck. Officals start to call for Grendel to let go of the cords and Grendel yells back at them “FUCK OFF!” and goes back to choking the life out of Switchblade and then Switchblades leg stop kicking and his hands drop to his side Grendel laughs and lets go of the rope and lets Switchblade hit the floor. PKA is shown watching with shock on his face up on the ramp...
Screen goes to black.
"JESUS SHIT TITS"
- Kentucky Tarzan