CONTENT

RYAN'S DRUNKEN RECAP - WRESTLESHOW 6

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REMINDER: I’M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING

hey thee eveyrhtogy! My name si Ryan... I am YOURE humble drunkaerd from awar! Mayeb you haven't heard, but the peopel here at the Untied Toughness sAlliance recently hirewed me to do some drrunken recaadps of your little shows here. 

How this is going to wok isd bsicaltl liek one of my "Drunken Wating of...." ramblings thlkat I do on RyansDrunk.com. Where i sit down... wlehatch something And when I have a khtoght about whakt I saw, I'll note it here... soound good? 

No?

Well, I dkont care. here he go....

Noah Spade vs. Peyton von Licht

  • Tis wanst a dakrn mathc? 
  • ALirhgt I gotaa adkit... that was a gerat lookign DDT bye Spade
  • They go bakc and forth an d uhhh yeah... teradig pinfalls all that 
  • Peytoin von Liht just won bye outnering a frog spalsh?
  • Yeah... I dguyes he died

After the amtch... we;er taken backatge and The jokers WIld  sing "Tonght We SAre Young" by Fun or... saomething.

Then we;r taken to the woosd where Madman Sazlinksi informss us alls that hes into lovew is hart with paintfbally fguns or someitoign... i'm not sure. But he's going to debut at WRESTLESHOW 7... I gusss. Airels Shadwos made it official!

Corbin vs. Lucius Jones

  • SOo I guess We gotta sit through this now. Eh.
  • WHAT>! JOens wo na test of stength?! SWERVE~!
  • After being domnitade kindaa... Jones cuahg hime with a nice supelx
  • Lucis is on a rolll now 
  • TYhen thers a fallaway slam... and the match has got to be over soon
  • No corni starts fighitn back! Its followed up wiht a bullsodh and enaer fall
  • But... Lucis wins aftereh heits the cracksa smackaa

Afterwards Frank dylan James was channeling his inner Xerxes... HES ONNA ERASE THE MEMORY OF SPARTA FROM THE HISTORIES!

Awkward twansintiongs are awkward.

cVc is searing for a midget lover or something? And irt appears as thoughe kevin hawk could have a discrimintation lawsauit on his hands for hating drwards! And Cranks hates homesexuals! And so.. Johnny Legend is cVc's new mangewr.

Howard King vs. Frank Dylan James

  • FDJ starts swinging a chair arounsd. Just cxause.
  • AOh no mister crazy man! PLEASE DON'T US THE STEPS!
  • "It's one of those situations where you either do waht yoru todl or have that mainic rip your head off." I'm suremy guests on The Drunken Radio Show feel the same way, Blackfront!
  • But ehya... needles to say, Frank Dylan James won the match.

Even more aewkard stranditions. Al Envy is interwiwewd. And nobodies going to endy cVc after their msatch tongiht! I see what you did there!

Brez interups the announcerts hyping the main event.Brez says that his losses wernes this falt... they were the fault of his trinaers Kevin Hawt and Seth Payne. Oh my Jesus. Then he puts a beating on both of the UTA legends. OGH NOW! NOT THE CHAIR~! Wait... rthle lights whent out. Maybe sometinhg interesting will here afterall. YOSHI! HE DEBUTED! YEAH! CLEARS OUSE! ALL THAT! WHATT?!

Frank Washington vs. Darian Dumont

  • You here that? Thats the sound of the lfie being soucked out of the rarnea.
  • I understnad hat Darnie has been on a rol... but come one... trapeze artists dont bel9ong in a wrestling wring. 
  • And uh... thkanfully, Washington won thae match.

Another interview. IM hate ths time. hate pretty much dofges all of the questions. Like a certain campaigner-in-chief- I know of... but you caan read more about that on RyansDrunk.com. But eventiually he announces that the UTA Championship is his property. So. he ahs that going for him.

Log Habben. Nothing else needs tho be said here.

Chance Von Crank vs. Al Envy

  • Interesting dynamic ehre with Crank and legaend.
  • Easily the est mathc so far. Veruy competittive. I liek it.
  • It's aweosme to see an "old school" manager on my tv again. I'm loving Johnny Legend at ringside.
  • Sorry. Not so many notes to be had here. I'm enjoying htis.
  • Damn. Awesoem neckbreaker from the toip rope!
  • Crnak wis ater the GodBooked! Awesoem match.

UTA Champion, Dr. Emo is talkingto himself. He's reliving hids greatm-omeont in professional=wrestling buy becoming UTA champipong. And hes oging to provbe that he cant be the world chamojpon when he beats Abdul bin Laden Hussain again. Tonight.YEAH!

Oh. Back to back promose hypoign the main event. Abdul bin Laden Hussain is talking to hismelf now! And jsut like the false gods, EMO is a false champion. He's going to win tonight and praise be to Allah! ALLAH HU AHKBAR!

IM Hate vs. Scotty Addams

  • These two have a lot to live up to... I'll try to give thenm a shot. But... I don' know fi YI can do it.
  • WAITAMINUTE! Did Scotty... ADD 'AMS?! Eh. nevermind.
  • Aweome oponign to the match.
  • Back and forth match again... I'm actiuling lingkin this one too.
  • And damn... a great finsh after the hurricanranna coutner and into the plantimum Driver. Scotty Addams can... well... add another wind in the column.

Paybne and Hawk agree tat brez is fired. Sucks to be him. Hawk announces that on WREWSTLESHOW 7, Washinton and Addams will faxe off for the internet hampionship. Sigh...oh wait... YOSHI will be in the match too! YOUSHI~! NO! FRANK DYLAN "GOD KING" JAMES RTOO! FARTAL FOURS WAY! 

What the... the neWA Cahmpionship? SEAN JACKSON IS HERE! Welll.. you know... next week.

Dr. EMO vs. Abdul bin Hussain

  • A remeatch from iPPV1 for the UTA Championship. Can't really compl;aying too muh I don't think/.
  • Interesting opening to the match with a fury of fists and leading itno a double drpcikign. And finally it seesm DrR> EMO is in control when he connects wityha drop kick.
  • Aazming dive to the floor by EMO!
  • Great brawl on thoe outside. back in the wring with a sharpshooter. DANG! DARN! DANG IT! Rafiq distracts the refere ss Hussain was tapping out!
  • Holy fecese! Pray to Allah from the aprion? Awesome!
  • And damn... what a way to tend the match. Abdul Bin Laden Husaain is the NEW UTA Champioinj. Wasn't expecting that. 
  • Whoa... ballsy move by Drew Stevenson to interrupt the celebrating.
  • Who gave Stevneosn a gun?

And there's the end of the sahow. I'm not good with goodbyes so. Just.

Bye.

Hate what Ryan said? Follow him on Twitter and tell him! @Ryans_Drunk
Love Ryan's rambling? Be sure to check out RyansDrunk.com for philisophical, drunken ramblings! 

 


TAGS: wrestleshow 7, recap, drunk, beer, awesome