REMINDER: I’M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING
hey thee eveyrhtogy! My name si Ryan... I am YOURE humble drunkaerd from awar! Mayeb you haven't heard, but the peopel here at the Untied Toughness sAlliance recently hirewed me to do some drrunken recaadps of your little shows here.
How this is going to wok isd bsicaltl liek one of my "Drunken Wating of...." ramblings thlkat I do on RyansDrunk.com. Where i sit down... wlehatch something And when I have a khtoght about whakt I saw, I'll note it here... soound good?
Well, I dkont care. here he go....
Noah Spade vs. Peyton von Licht
After the amtch... we;er taken backatge and The jokers WIld sing "Tonght We SAre Young" by Fun or... saomething.
Then we;r taken to the woosd where Madman Sazlinksi informss us alls that hes into lovew is hart with paintfbally fguns or someitoign... i'm not sure. But he's going to debut at WRESTLESHOW 7... I gusss. Airels Shadwos made it official!
Corbin vs. Lucius Jones
Afterwards Frank dylan James was channeling his inner Xerxes... HES ONNA ERASE THE MEMORY OF SPARTA FROM THE HISTORIES!
Awkward twansintiongs are awkward.
cVc is searing for a midget lover or something? And irt appears as thoughe kevin hawk could have a discrimintation lawsauit on his hands for hating drwards! And Cranks hates homesexuals! And so.. Johnny Legend is cVc's new mangewr.
Howard King vs. Frank Dylan James
Even more aewkard stranditions. Al Envy is interwiwewd. And nobodies going to endy cVc after their msatch tongiht! I see what you did there!
Brez interups the announcerts hyping the main event.Brez says that his losses wernes this falt... they were the fault of his trinaers Kevin Hawt and Seth Payne. Oh my Jesus. Then he puts a beating on both of the UTA legends. OGH NOW! NOT THE CHAIR~! Wait... rthle lights whent out. Maybe sometinhg interesting will here afterall. YOSHI! HE DEBUTED! YEAH! CLEARS OUSE! ALL THAT! WHATT?!
Frank Washington vs. Darian Dumont
Another interview. IM hate ths time. hate pretty much dofges all of the questions. Like a certain campaigner-in-chief- I know of... but you caan read more about that on RyansDrunk.com. But eventiually he announces that the UTA Championship is his property. So. he ahs that going for him.
Log Habben. Nothing else needs tho be said here.
Chance Von Crank vs. Al Envy
UTA Champion, Dr. Emo is talkingto himself. He's reliving hids greatm-omeont in professional=wrestling buy becoming UTA champipong. And hes oging to provbe that he cant be the world chamojpon when he beats Abdul bin Laden Hussain again. Tonight.YEAH!
Oh. Back to back promose hypoign the main event. Abdul bin Laden Hussain is talking to hismelf now! And jsut like the false gods, EMO is a false champion. He's going to win tonight and praise be to Allah! ALLAH HU AHKBAR!
IM Hate vs. Scotty Addams
Paybne and Hawk agree tat brez is fired. Sucks to be him. Hawk announces that on WREWSTLESHOW 7, Washinton and Addams will faxe off for the internet hampionship. Sigh...oh wait... YOSHI will be in the match too! YOUSHI~! NO! FRANK DYLAN "GOD KING" JAMES RTOO! FARTAL FOURS WAY!
What the... the neWA Cahmpionship? SEAN JACKSON IS HERE! Welll.. you know... next week.
Dr. EMO vs. Abdul bin Hussain
And there's the end of the sahow. I'm not good with goodbyes so. Just.
TAGS: wrestleshow 7, recap, drunk, beer, awesome
"I am not that dragon and you are not that warrior."
- Wondrous Mental Dragon