The cameras are rolling but the screen is black. The lights switch on and the picture if filled with the face and mask of La Flama Blanca. "Ask A Luchador" appears over his head.
La Flama Blanca: Hola mis amigos! Welcome to another episode of “Ask A Luchador” hosted by The Luchador himself, La Flama Blanca. It’s good to be here, it’s good to be back! Thank you for tuning in!
Cameras zoom out to see The Champion sitting on his king size bed in his suburban Long Island home, and is surrounded by Dalmatian puppies. He is wearing his brand new LFB UTA t-shirt.
LFB: Tonight’s show is sponsored by Alpo by Purina. Brand new sponsor to the show, I’d like to thank them for their support. Don’t your puppies deserve to eat like a champion? Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook. On to the show. Questions, from you, the fans! First question, Voice Over Guy!
Voice Over: Michael in Ohio wants to know, “Who is your hero?”
LFB: I’ll take this first one serious… My father. Hector Sanchez was a great man. El Gran Mahgo was a terrific talent. My father showed me the right way to do things and I owe all my success to him. Next question.
VO: Ben in Texas wants to know, “What is your blood type?”
Blanca turns his head to the side. The puppies continue to play on the bed around him.
LFB: That’s way too personal of a question. I don’t know what your angle is but I’ll make sure I have some security next time I’m in your town… Next!
VO: Eugene from Canada wants to know, “If you could retire tomorrow, what would you do?”
LFB: That’s a good question. I’d like to stay in the business. Maybe I’d open up a school, or work for the UTA in some fashion still. OR maybe I’ll just live on an island somewhere, that I own. The Champion can do what he wants. Next!
VO: Adam from the UK wants to know, “How do you start a conversation?”
Blanca laughs, while the puppies seated on his lap nip at his fingers.
LFB: Usually with a Kick. Next question!
VO: Ari from New York wants to know, “What was the last lie you told?”
LFB: The last lie I told… Probably that I liked James Wingate. Now it’s time for the Did You Know Fact of the Day… Did you know that a red blood cell completes its circulation through your entire body in Twenty seconds? Damn that’s fast.
The Luchador looks down around his arms and waits about Twenty seconds.
LFB: It went around one time. Cool. Next!
VO: Gwen from California wants to know, “What cheers you up?”
LFB: Making UTA crowds go home crying each and every night, next!
VO: Dave from Ireland wants to know, “Have you ever danced in the rain?”
Blanca pauses for a second and looks off to the side.
LFB: We really need to get a new person to check these questions before we start rolling… Next.
VO: Amanda from Michigan wants to know, “Is there anything I should know?”
LFB: You should all know that I’m going to RETAIN my title at Ring King… The “Year of The Luchador” continues… Thanks for tuning in folks! Catch us next time!
Blanca goes back to petting the Dalmatians as cameras zoom out and fade.
"TED CRUZ IS THE ZODIAC KILLER"
- Kentucky Tarzan