TD Arrives in Detroit
Days Before Wrestleshow 38
Detroit, Michigan aka The Birthplace of Team Danger
”Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the City of Detroit...”
The scene opens with the almighty Team Danger walking through a traffic jam of humanity that herds itself along the path of a jetway. The Terrifying Twins of Team Dangerosity are clad in their usual walking around attire, tees and jerseys, jeans and shorts, Vans and Timberlands, you know how they do. As they make their way toward the McNamara Terminal, Greer diddles his phone incessantly, while Walker holds his to his ear.
Ty: A’ight, mayne, good lookin’ out, we’ll see you out front.
KoP: Sonny picking us up?
Greer chimes in, his eyes never leaving the screen of his phone. Walker nods as he pockets his phone.
Ty: Sure is, he wanted to get into town ahead of us so he could setup some promotional opportunities for us.
KoP: Sweet, then we can get some food.
Walker scoffs at his friend’s eternal hunt for good eats.
Ty: When are you not hungry?
Silence builds as the gears begin to grind in Greer’s head while he carries the two, dots the I. Walker shakes his head.
Ty: Don’t have an aneurysm or nothin’, bruh.
KoP: The easier question would be ”when am I not hungry?”
Walker’s head bobbles a bit with a look on his face that says “true,” and they continue moving along towards the most miserable place on Earth. Baggage Claim.
KoP: And right now, I’m starving for some championship gold.
Walker grins as he nods in agreement.
Ty: Heard. An’ we get to do this in “The D” too!
Greer smiles with thoughts of getting to do damage in Detroit for the first time in a long time.
KoP: I’m telling you, it’s like destiny or something.
Walker’s face scrunches at that comment, clearly not impressed with the thought.
Ty: I hope not.
Puzzled by the response, Greer looks at Walker like “huh?”
KoP: What? Why not?
Ty: Seriously? It better not be like Destiny, that game sucked. Sixty gotdamn dollars for no answers or satisfaction, just endless grindin’ an’ boredom.
KoP: Jeez, tell us how you really feel.
Greer teases as Walker snorts his nose and continues.
Ty: Whatever, dude… I ain’t about bein’ some “team of destiny,” mayne. All of these kids in this match can try an’ rely on some hokus pokus if they wanna be tryin’ to play that Cinderella game.
Greer nods as they reach baggage claim, where he pockets his phone. Worming their way into the crowd as a few of the herd peel off with their belongings, Greer and Walker take position and wait… And wait… And wait.
KoP: It is good to be back in “The D” though.
Ty: Oh yeah, fo’sho, bruh. It’s been about a minute since we’ve been back to crack some skulls.
Their eyes track the many pieces of luggage that pass.
KoP: I’m seriously excited for this. Like, we’ve done a lot of things in the sport, you know?
Greer allows for a pause, while Walker nods mindlessly, his brow furrowed and eyes focused on the conveyor belt bringing luggage around.
Ty: These mothafuckas better not’ve lost our shit.
Walker says, blurting out with frustration as he cranes his neck, trying to get a better look and fails to see anything. A few more people around them grab their stuff and peel off, causing Walker to grumble impatiently. Greer shrugs, a slight smile curling at his friend’s annoyance before he continues with his own train of thought.
KoP: It’s kind of odd too me, because even with all of that, after everything we’ve done and everywhere we’ve been, we still haven’t ever had the chance to play our game here, where all of this began for us.
Greer’s words slowly sink into Walker’s brain, briefly snapping him out of his intense tracking of the luggage.
Walker chimes as he quickly glances back at his friend.
Ty: Oh, yeah. Right on, bruh… All of that. Home sweet home an’ shit, I hear ya.
Walker’s attention diverts back to the conveyor, which Greer responds to with an annoyed huff of a sigh.
KoP: Way to stomp on…
Walker doesn’t even hear Greer’s angsty retort as he points excitedly, his outburst causing a number of people to turn to see what the commotion is.
Ty: Hell yeah! We’re fuckin’ outta here, bruh.
Walker proclaims as he posts up like he’s about to “D up” on Lebron in the playoffs, preparing to snatch the two large backpacks coming towards him on the conveyor belt.
Ty: Come to daddy.
Watching Walker boxing out other people, Greer shakes his head with a laugh under his breath. A moment later and Walker grabs each pack and in one fluid motion, tosses Greer’s pack up and over head.
Ty: Think fast!
Greer looks up and is like “huh?” before his eyes go wide.
Greer indeed thinks fast, getting his hands up as his backpack comes flying at his head. Before he can even think to cuss Walker out, the Black Jesus is off to the races, yelling back at the King of Pain to get his ass moving.
Ty: C’mon, mayne, let’s get the fuck on!
Greer grumbles, slinging his pack over a shoulder and rushing off after his partner in crime. Team Danger blaze a trail through the concourse, dodging people on foot and people on motor carts like some kind of chase scene in a movie. Turning a corner, they see daylight in the form of the exit to the parking lot, and like Barry Sanders, they break away towards it when they see Sonny Juno, Team Danger’s long time agent.
Ty: YOOOO! There he is, bruh, hurry up!
KoP: Stop… Running…
Greer huffs in air as he runs, because land speed races are not his thing. As they get closer, they find that Sonny Juno is wearing an obnoxious looking suit. With a big smile, Sonny is holding a white placard with the word “CHAMPS” printed in bold, black, block lettering.
Sonny: Hey guys, what’s good?!
Walker grins as he slows up his pace, just barely stopping in time so that he doesn’t run right through the slight in stature agent. Dropping his pack, Walker throws his arms up in the air, while Greer slowly approaches the last few steps.
Ty: Yeah, WINNAH!
KoP: Nice sign, Sonny… And screw you, dude…
Greer says as he backhands Walker against the chest with a chop. Walker sells it like a champ, flopping onto his back and then popping right back up into a high five to the super agent.
Sonny: I been waiting for you guys for eons, where you been?
KoP: Baggage claim. Ty doesn’t really know how it works, he checked our backpacks.
Sonny: Why not just carry on?
Walker looks dumbfounded then slightly annoyed.
Ty: Ya’ll know a checked bag is free but it costs fourteen bucks to carry on, right? I ain’t payin’ no fourteen gotdamn bucks for them to put my shit in a different part of the same plane I’m already on. Bad enough I had to pay four bucks for a can of Coke… an’ then they don’t even let you keep the can!
Sonny listened intently, nodding with every word.
Sonny: Oh, right. Anyway, let’s go.
Greer mumbles something along the lines of “cheap ass” under his breath, marveling at the stunning frugalness of his running mate. Sonny ushers them into the back of an all black GMC Yukon. Sonny climbs into the third row of seats, directly behind the dual captain’s chairs occupied by the boys. The Asian Super Agent motions to the driver to proceed and they’re off.
Sonny: So boys, I’ve got all kinds of stuff lined up for you this week.
The boys immediately protest.
Ty: What? We just landed!
KoP: And I’m hungry!
Sonny: You are always hungry.
Walker nods in agreement, mouthing “see, told you.”
Sonny: Besides, this is bigger than your growing belly, surprisingly.. Food can wait.
KoP: Food can never wait!
Sonny rolls his eyes and produces his gold iPhone 6 and iPad. Quickly opening his calendars, he starts scrolling through his appointments.
KoP: We have to talk to college kids? Seriously?
Sonny: It’s a foot in the door. We go there and get the wheels greased, I call them in a week after you guys win the belts, set up a Q and A in sixty days and I reap a wonderful commission from that big student activities check they send you.
Team Danger look at Sonny with a heavy dose of skepticism.
Ty: They got money like that?
KoP: Yeah, this is Wayne State, not UofM.
Sonny shakes his head in frustration.
Sonny: It’s the first of many, stay with me, boys.
KoP: Fine, go on.
Sonny: So that’s about two hours there…
Walker and Greer both exclaim in unison.
Ty & KoP: Two hours?!
Sonny: It’ll go quickly. So right after that we shoot over to the Joe and do some local press for the show, talk up the papers, sell the importance of Detroit, why you guys love it and why you want to win here so badly, blah blah blah, then we start getting into the real good stuff.
Greer perks up.
KoP: Like food?
Sonny: Like paid appearances.
Greer frowns, cockblocked. Walker’s brow furrows, his mind on his money.
Ty: Wait, we’re not gettin’ paid for the other stuff?
Sonny: Gotta spend money to make money.
Ty: Yeah, but it’s our money you’re spending, bruh.
Sonny adjusts his sunglasses and shows off ten grand of perfect dental work.
Sonny: You know I always take care of you guys, have I ever steered you wrong?
KoP: What about that thing in Puerto Rico where…
Juno’s eyes pop and his face reddens, giving his clients a “don’t even go there” kind of look.
Sonny: Don’t you dare bring up Puerto Rico! You weren’t the one stuck in that duck costume for three days!
Greer and Walker both look at their agent with eyes wide, their hair blown back from the outburst. Sonny clears his throat, adjusts his jacket and calmly exhales.
Ty: You a’ight, bruh?
KoP: Yeah, don’t throw a stone getting yourself all worked up.
Sonny continues his breathing exercises and his shoulders sink back into a relaxed position.
Sonny: Moving on. I’ve got you set up for an appearance at Star Lanes in Royal Oak. It’s this bowling alley, movie theater, bar thing. Standard dog and pony show, take some pictures, sign some tits and cash out.
Nodding, Walker follows along. Greer nods, but the gears are turning in his head.
KoP: Do we get free popcorn?
Walker nods excitedly, putting a fist in the air.
Ty: FREE POPCORN OR WE RIOT!
Greer and Walker both start chanting “Free Popcorn.” Strangely, it sounds more like a protest rally cry to release said popcorn from imprisonment.
Sonny: How about I just buy you guys some popcorn?
Walker shakes his head no emphatically, he will not be deterred.
Ty: No! Free or nothing! An’ don’t try to fool us with your sneaky ways!
Greer cringes and backhands Walker, who gives his bestie a curious look for the blow to the chest.
KoP: Dude, not cool.
KoP: You can’t call an Asian dude “sneaky.” That’s all kinds of messed up. I mean, you’re not wrong, but it’s still not cool.
Walker shrugs like “Oh, my bad…” and then he’s back to what really matters.
Ty: A’ight then, so can we get back to this free popcorn situation?
Sonny hangs his head. “Count to ten, Sonny,” he thinks to himself.
Sonny: How about we get back to making money?
KoP: If we have to. But what good is money if we get no foods?
Ty: Damn son, you’ll get fed, chill it out.
Greer grumbles and folds his arms across his chest.
Sonny: So we close out the night with a second appearance, only this time it’s at a place more your speed, Trumpps on Eight Mile. Get a good cross-section of guys who will want to come out and hang with the greatest tag team on the planet Earth.
Greer cocks an eyebrow, waiting for the catch.
Sonny: So then tomorrow you guys have to get up bright and early for…
Team Danger are not amused by this itinerary, as Walker now joins his friend in protest, crossing his arms over his chest.
KoP: Hold the fuck up. You want us to stay out all night.
Ty: Talk to college kids.
KoP: Go bowling and shit with no guarantee of free popcorn.
Ty: Smile and shake hands and kiss babies.
Juno puts his hands up, trying to slow the tide.
Sonny: I never said anything about…
No such luck, Team Danger is rolling and like the divas that they are, they’re about five seconds from rioting for real… Free popcorn or no free popcorn.
KoP: Then go out and hang out at the Silicon Gutter trapped in an iron maiden of hard dicks.
Ty: An’ then we gotta get up in the mornin’ an’ do what? Go on some shitty mornin’ talk show where everyone is all smiles an’ laughs at everything?
Juno sighs heavily, shaking his head.
Sonny: Well, um… not exactly..
No, that pretty much sums it up. Catch TD’s appearance on the Mojo in the Morning show http://wrestleuta.com/news/1113”>here.
Greer and Walker just match him, their looks unamused as they shake their heads, knowing the long ass day that’s ahead of them.
Ty: Unreal, man.
As the Yukon navigates it’s way onto the campus of Wayne State University, Greer lets out one last whining declaration before reaching their end point.
KoP: But when are we going to get some food?!
- Kentucky Tarzan