A limited edition webisode min-series, highlighting the things that guys love. Hosted by Mr. Fantastic.
The opening sequence of the show begins with a series of cut shots. A dance club in Ibiza. Bikini-clad women strolling the along the sands of Malibu. Chianti and Prosciutto de Parma in an Italian trattoria. Lamborghinis, Bentleys and Bugattis racing down the streets of Monaco. The final scene is of Mr. Fantastic, dressed in a designer suit, walking to the center of the screen, with fountains of the Bellagio erupting in the background. The show title scrolls across the bottom of the screen.
Opening scene of the show has Mr. Fantastic, wearing a polo shirt and jeans, sitting in the booth of a restaurant.
Fantastic: Welcome everyone to the premiere installment of “The Fantastic Voyage”. I’ve been asked by the network to host this limited edition mini-series, exclusively for the UTA. This show will highlight everything that you red-blooded fans appreciate..the best of food, drink, fun and, of course...pro wrestling!
(Fantastic removes his sunglasses and sets them on the table while offering a broad smile for the camera)
Fantastic: (chuckling) And, if you think about, who else were they going to get to host a show like this? If there’s anyone who know about the finest things in life - in and out of the ring - its your’s truly, Mr. Fantastic!
(a waitress delivers a mouth watering plate of barbeque)
Fantastic: Today we are in St. Louis - site of the UTA’s upcoming pay-per-view, All or Nothing. Right now, I’m enjoying lunch at Bogart’s Smokehouse.
This one of the best barbecue joints in the country and, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to dig into this plate of pulled pork here!
(Fantastic tucks a napkin into his collar and tastes his lunch)
Fantastic: Mmm-mmm-mmm. Wow, that’s some serious eats. Trust me, kids...if you are out here in the Midwest, you need to check this place out! I hear they make a mean smoked pastrami, too. Side note...how cool is this gig, huh? Seriously! I can think of worse ways to make a living.
(Fantastic grabs his pint glass and takes a sip)
Fantastic: Aaah! Normally, I like my alcohol neat, brown and 80 proof. However, nothing goes better with food like this than an ice, cold beer. That brings us to my micro-brew of the week. Today, I’m enjoying Hommel Bier, from the fine folks at Perennial Artisan Ales, right here in St. Louis.
It’s earthy and spicy, with a hint of orange. A fantastic accompaniment to smoked and grilled pork!
(waitress approaches the table)
Waitress: And how is everything, sir?
Fantastic: Darlin’, my daddy is “sir”. But, since you asked, everything (looks the waitress up and down)...and I do mean everything...here is just fine, sweetheart.
(waitress blushes and smiles while leaving)
Fantastic: Midwestern girls. Gotta love ‘em. Alright, boys and girls, we’ve got to pay some bills and hear from our sponsors while I finish my meal here. When we come back, we’ll wrap up the show with our final segment.
(show fades back with a shot of Mr. Fantastic standing outside of the Gateway Arch)
Fantastic: Welcome back to “The Fantastic Voyage”. Yes, we are here at the visitor’s center of the world famous Gateway Arch. Is it trite and a bit cheesy? Sure, but, c’mon...this is entertainment! Its now time for our final segment, “Next Question”, where I’ll answer viewer’s questions sent in by e-mail, Twitter, Facebook or, hell...carrier pigeon!
(Fantastic picks up a printed letter)
Fantastic: This first question comes to us from StantheMan45. He asks, “Mr. Fantastic, what is your favorite ‘guilty pleasure’ movie?”. Thanks for writing to the show, Stan. The truth is that I don’t ever feel guilty about anything I do, especially when it comes to watching movies. However, I get what you’re trying to ask. I guess I’d have to say my guilty pleasure movie is “Big Trouble in Little China”.
How can you go wrong? It’s got it all. Comedy, kung fu, gang violence, cheesy special effects, an 80’s action star like Kurt Russell and that weird, hairy monster at the end. Not to mention you get an eyeful of Kim Cattrall back when guys didn’t need to be scripted into finding her sexy! Thanks, again, for the question, Stan, but this is “Next Question”. So….
(Fantastic reads the next sheet of paper)
Fantastic: Our next question is from Mac from College Park, MD. He asks, “Mr. Fantastic, are you having any second thoughts….about….coming back to the UTA”?
Fantastic: (looking off camera) Really, guys? You stuck this one in here? The first show??
(Fantastic looks annoyed momentarily but then smirks. Balling up the paper and tossing it over his shoulder, he looks back up at the camera)
Fantastic: This is what we call in our business a “rib”. I’m being ribbed here. But that’s OK. Mac, the answer to your question is “NO”. I am loving every minute of my time here in the UTA. We’ve got the best wrestlers the world and some of the stiffest competition I’ve ever seen. Why would I have any second thoughts? With the skills I bring to that ring, my experience and knowledge and the fact that any match I’m in is only one Omegablaster away from being over….the fun is just getting started around here. Stay tuned, Mac...the best is yet to come.
(show end theme music cues up)
Fantastic: Looks like we are out of time for this week’s episode. I’d like to thank the great city of St. Louis for its hospitality. Look forward to being back here next month when the UTA presents All or Nothing. That’s right. I’ll be there. Folks, keep sending your questions to be read on this show. Until next time, everyone, just remember….no matter what you do or enjoy, don’t settle for anything less than FANTASTIC! See you all on the next edition of “The Fantastic Voyage”.
(music fades up as closing credits roll and Fantastic walks out of the shot)
- Raging Dead