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Dreamwrestling.com Exclusive Web Cast PC
17 Feb 2010
The Slaughter House,
Orlando, FL (seats 8,796)
Pre-Conference Coverage
"
cancerjiles" Reporter: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a DREAMWrestling.com Exclusive Radio Webcast. I'm Josh Peterson, intern web correspondent with DREAM Wrestling, bringing you live coverage tonight of a very special, unprecedented press conference from newly appointed General Manager of the DREAM Wrestling Federation. We'll go live to Mr. Michael Polowy in just a few moments, but while we wait for the doors to become open to the public we're going to take some time to get the thoughts of one of the most notable tag teams in professional wrestling, The Egg Bandits. With me now are former DREAM and DREAM Tag Team Champions Doozer and Cancer Jiles. Cancer Jiles, of course also the Dream You-Call-It Champion, especially has... Cancer Jiles: That's Cool Champion, reporter man. Reporter: Excuse me? The Cool Champion: Cancer Jiles is the Cool Champion. I think you may have been mumbling. Reporter: My apologies, of course. Let's get right down to business, gentlemen, as we wait for the doors to the Slaughterhouse to open to the public. GM Mike Polowy plans to discuss, amongst other issues tonight, the recent crowning of Talon as DWF Champion. Talon obviously has recently joined DREAM from the former HWF, and immediately found himself in the title picture. With the recent influx of Hostility talent flooding Dream's pearly gates, do the Egg Bandits feel threatened at all by the growing presence of a once rival federation? The Cool Champion: If some people want to try and come to Dream, and see if they hang with the likes of the Egg Bandits... then go for it. Open the doors, and allow the refugees to come and try to pollute our sacred waters... Frankly, my belt can always use another notch in it. Doozer: I think what my esteemed partner means, is that since these... competitors... decided to chose a much more competitive home, it would really be a huge disappointment to them once they realize how much better our talent is here in Dream... to put it kindly... Reporter: How will you handle the Beautiful Bobby Dean situation... With his former ties to Hostility? The Cool Champion: Hey, listen here. As far as I'm concerned, the only worthy superstar to ever grace a Hostility ring, is 'Beautiful' Bobby Dean. BBD has found a new home, inside of the Bandits Nest. We have welcomed him with open arms, being that... well WE are Dream, so he is also Dream...that is, if he decides to choose the wise path, as apposed to the forbidden. Reporter: So Bobby Dean has a choice? Doozer: Every Bandit has a choice... do you decide to run with the greats, and continue to defy the unimaginable... or do you walk the path of the loser, forever joining the likes of Jak Nemesis, Level-One, and Mike Polowy? He's a grown man, he's in Dream for a reason, and it's not to side with Hostility. He's way too smart to do that. Reporter: Speaking of Mike Polowy, how do you feel about him being the new General Manager of Dream? The Cool Champion: If he tries to mess with me, he knows the outcome.
Fuck, I still owe his General Managing ass an egging. Trust me when I
say, I'm going to really, really, really enjoy loading up on the double yolks, and redecorating his office. Hopefully he is in it when I do. MPlow: Janitor Jiles will be defending his Cool title in the bathroom, if he decides to do so. Reporter: Well what a surprise! It seems as if the new General Manager has joined us here outside the doors to the Slaughterhouse. I do believe that means that we are ready to begin. MPlow:
Indeed we are, Jesse.
Reporter:
Uh, Josh.
MPlow: Whatever. I'll tell you what... if Cancer Jiles eggs me now that I'm General Manager? I'll be calling you both Stephanie and you'll be equally sitting at home collecting unemployment. I'm on a tight schedule, let's get this thing rolling and get the press inside. Doozer: Simmer down boys, let's save the petty threats for Slaughter. Speaking as the Man, the Myth, and at the same time... the Legend... I'd like to think The Dooze knows a thing or two... about a thing or two... And if I DOOZE say so, myself... I DOOZE not trust that little bitch I like to call Polowinksy. Personally, I can't believe he's the GM of Dream. I'll go on the record and say that anybody is better than T-Willy, but this... I came here to save this god-forsaken federation... because I AM this federation. Then, when I think I've finally righted all the wrongs in this place... Just when I finally feel like everything's back to how it should be... well, all I can say is... Eggs are about to hit the fan, my man. Reporter: That's a whole lot of I's, wouldn't ya say Mr. Cool? The Cool Champion: Scrambled Dreams, nuff said. Doozer: Not this shit again. The Cool Champion: It was a lot of "I's". But okay. It's done. Reporter: And so are we, ladies and gentlemen. The General Manager has ordered the front doors unlocked, and when we return to you after this brief commercial break we'll be live inside the Slaughterhouse! Stay tuned, you're not going to want to miss this!
Official DREAM Press Conference
"
gradybunch" Reporter: Hello and welcome back to this very special DREAM radio webcast. Once again, I'm Josh Peterson, intern web correspondent, bringing you exclusive coverage of tonight's official DREAM press conference. This unexpected event was called just yesterday by new DREAM General Manager Michael Polowy. I'm seated here in the Slaughterhouse, and I'll tell you what folks, it is a strange sight to see the arena so empty. This is the first time since it opened that I've seen less than a sell out crowd inside this building. Members of the press have taken their seats, and it looks like we're about to begin. Now, the next voice you'll hear needs little introduction. Mark Zylbert: Hello ladies and gentlemen, members of the press, and a special good evening to the lucky DREAM fans who waited hours to attend this very special conference. [Shuffling of papers.] Mark Zylbert: I thank you all for attending here today, and also would like to extend a welcome to our listeners at home experiencing this event via DREAMWrestling.com's live webcast. It is because of you at home and you here tonight that I am fortunate enough to be holding this press conference today. It is also by the grace of former DWF owner and proprietor William Peters, to whom I would like to extend a great many thanks for his smart business sense in selling me this fine company one month ago. It has been a trip through hell and high water attaining this company, and I know that many mistakes have been made in the meanwhile. Yet, no matter how long the wait, the time has finally come. In this new regime, this Zylbert era in sports entertainment, we will strive to correct the mistakes of my predecessor. We will strive to correct the mistakes of his predecessor before that. And more than anything, we will strive to correct the mistakes made by Travis Williams, the now former GM of DREAM Wrestling. Though we are already the top grossing company in this global wrestling economy, we already have plans in motion to make this company even more profitable for it's stockholders and employees. Codenamed the 'Zylbert Profit Pyramid', our new multi-step program will ensure an even brighter future to our already shining promotion. Every successful business needs two types of people in order to succeed, one of which is a smart businessman behind the scenes.
Humbly, I throw myself at the mercy of the shareholders in saying that I am indeed that businessman. But the second type of person a business truly needs in order to succeed is a creative genius. It needs a person so full of
energy, ideas, and charisma that he or she refuses to fail. It needs someone who knows how to create controversy, spark interest, and make heads turn. Step one in the Zylbert Profit Pyramid plan was to find that creative genius. This was, ladies and gentlemen, a no-brainer decision in my mind.
Without further ado, I would like to introduce to you the first step toward an even brighter future for DREAM Entertainment. He is one of the most notorious men ever to grace the squared
circle, and also my hand-picked replacement for Travis Williams as General Manager of DREAM's day to day activities. Allow me to present you Mr. Michael Polowy. [Soft clapping. There is a single blown raspberry from near the podium, with a definitive sound to it.] MPlow:
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a DREAM.
No, seriously. It's pretty much mine now. [Quiet chuckling. A few sighs in disgust.] MPlow:
It is a great honor to be standing at this podium today. For a very long time, I believe that I have been misunderstood in this business. As a man known mostly for his
so-called violence towards women, varying degrees of racism, and overall severely outgoing behavior, it isn't often that a position to be awesome on a corporate level is presented to me. Mark Zylbert, one of the most brilliant business minds of this lifetime, was courageous and innovative enough to make this dream a reality for me. He has taken a chance on me, and I intend not to make him regret taking that chance. Mr. Zylbert discussed with you very briefly... [A nondescript voice from within the press.] MPlow: We will be taking questions at the conclusion of this press conference, if time permits.
Thank you for your patience. Now, Mr. Zylbert discussed with you very briefly the Zylbert Profit Pyramid. Step
one, of course, was selecting the proper replacement for former General Manager Travis Williams. I do believe I will go above and beyond the call of duty in filling that role. I believe Mr. Williams would also publicly agree, had he not been barred from the arena tonight.
But what Mark did not discuss was the even more important step two. Several months ago, William Peters was contacted by leaders from the World Wrestling
Alliance, a multi-region powerhouse in the realm of sports entertainment and professional wrestling. After weeks of negotiation, and the construction of this very arena in which we stand today, the ink was dry and DREAM Wrestling had joined the likes of HOW, DEFIANCE, and the short lived promotion
UnCensored in one of the biggest business ventures of all time. Since then, DREAM Wrestling has experienced a growth that the shareholders and fans can hardly fathom. This was not a financial
growth, or a growth in the
DREAM fan base. This was the kind of growth that sticks out of your neck one morning and you think 'you know, I oughta go check this out with a
docter'. Then you sit around on it for another two weeks, and what has happened? It's gotten bigger. More troublesome. Step two in the Zylbert Profit Pyramid plan is to remove that growth. That is why, effective today, DREAM is joining High Octane Wrestling in severing it's ties from the World Wrestling Alliance. We wish the Alliance the very best in all its future endeavors, and I proudly say for the last time... [expletive deleted] DEFIANCE! [Large ruckus withing the crowd, lots of voices together.] MPlow:
Free from the constricting chains of the World Wrestling Alliance, DREAM will be free to pursue
it's true calling. We are a global wrestling company, not a territory. Though the Slaughterhouse is a large investment in the future of DREAM, being confined to one region will inevitably hold the company back from loftier goals.
That is why I am proud to announce that effective very soon, DREAM Wrestling will resume touring weekly
events, allowing our audiences an opportunity to see it's favorite wrestlers in action all across the globe. The Slaughterhouse shall not have been built in vain, however, and more announcements concerning its future use will be made available in the coming weeks. That small matter aside, it is time to move on to step three in the
Zylbert Profit Pyramid. Concerns have been raised within the organization over the last several days in regards to the DWF Tag Team Championships. Though I have been hesitant to discuss the matter in a public forum, I was urged today by DREAM board members to confront the issue head on. It is a widely known fact within the company that the DWF Tag Team Championships are currently somewhat in limbo. The Grady
Bunch, present and seated to my left, are without their tag team belts tonight, and for one obvious reason. [Hushed but frantic whispers. A few snide jokes.] MPlow: Simply put, they were getting ratty. [Less than hushed whispers. Chuckling from the Grady Bunch.] MPlow: That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The belts had seen their fair share of abuse, both at the hands of one Mr. Lavigne and Mr. Jiles, and also the Grady's themselves. Mostly, however, I am told that the environment in which they CURRENTLY reside is both unhygenic, and in fact downright filthy. So, in an executive decision, as of 12:00pm Eastern time today, the DWF Tag Team Championships have been decommissioned from the DREAM Wrestling Federation. [Uproar from the crowd, quickly stifled.] MPlow: Fret not, friends of the federation. I am proud to announce that with the decommissioning of the DWF Tag Team Championships, along with the lifting of the strict guidelines enforced by the
World Wrestling Alliance, I am proud here tonight to commission a brand new set of tag team
titles, proudly and now LEGALLY known as the DWF WORLD Tag Team Championships. Finishing touches and detailing have begun on the belts this evening, and the titles will be ready and presented to The Grady Bunch before the next DWF televised event in honor of their dedication to the federation and their standings within the tag team division. Note that the DWF World Tag Team Championships are the ONLY world tag team championships officially recognized within the DREAM Wrestling Federation. However, the addition of tag team championships is not the only title announcement being made tonight. [Curious babble, mostly from the crowd. A bit from the stage.] MPlow: It is no mystery to anyone following DREAM programming over the course of the last month that many new faces have arrived within the company. In the recent Slaughter Rumble, several of these new faces made their presence very well known, in fact.
One such newcomer, Alex
Rockridge, went so far as to win the DWF Championship by eliminating The Masked Dollar and being the last man standing within the ring. Rockridge, known better as Talon within the industry, is one of the many reasons that DREAM has begun to take on a more 'hostile' look as of late. This fact was overlooked by our predecessors, but rest assured that the Zylbert/Polowy Regime has not let this fact go unnoticed. HOSTILITY may be gone, but it has definitely not been forgotten. Many called HWF 'stars' have signed active contracts within the federation under the Peters era of DREAM, and though
I do not have the power to nullify these contracts, I do have the power to ensure that DREAM stays true to
it's original blood.
It is with that in mind that as the chief acting officer of DREAM's televised product, I have been put in charge of enacting step four in the Zylbert Profit Pyramid. Over the course of the next few
weeks,
I will be scouting within the company for the athletes I believe truly represent DREAM to its fullest. I will evaluate them. I will test their loyalty to DREAM. And then, I will recruit them to a team unlike any you have seen before.

"Dream Team" will consist of the best and the brightest the DREAM originals have to offer, and it will exist for one reason and one reason alone-- the complete and total destruction of Hostility's legacy. [Audible clapping from several on stage. Raucous cheering from the fans section.] MPlow: The first candidates have already been selected, and
I am proud to have them in attendance tonight. I don't believe the gentleman that I am about to address will be surprised by this announcement, I only hope that he will accept my offer to make DREAM a better place.
Doozer, please approach the podium. [Audible gasps. A snide chuckle from the right of the stage.] MPlow: Doozer, we haven't always seen eye to eye. And most of that comes from the fact that you're just a smidge taller than me. The rest is a head to head of ideals, morals, and other things I don't possess. However, there is no place for a civil war amidst the world war we are embarking on against Hostility. We are fighting on our own shores, and my army... my DREAM TEAM... needs a general. I ask you today not as your friend, nor your boss, but as a DREAM Original. You are the only man allowed to take me down a peg around here, and I am the only man allowed to tell you that you should have retired seventeen thousand years ago. [Scuffling from the podium. Sound of metal on wood, followed by loud whispering.] MPlow: What I hold in my hands was not easy to get a hold of. It took a box of wine, three rocks of crack, and seventeen dollars American money, but Mad Max of the former Hostility Wrestling Federation has sold to me legally this HWF Championship. It is the real thing. Every general needs his badge of commendation... his medal of valor. I know it's not much more than cheap leather, and it doesn't have the same 'real title smell' of the one sitting around Talon's undeserving waist, but I ask you proudly here in front of the world to be my general, and to wear this medal until you can proudly reclaim the one that belongs to you... that belongs to DREAM. Doozer: Who do you think I am? You think I'm the type of person that would ever associate myself with such a disgraceful excuse of a championship? The Dooze is DREAM Wrestling. I wouldn't have wrestled in... you-know-where... even if I called myself something ridiculously stupid, like MPlow.... sorry, it's natural. I didn't mean to go there, really.
To be honest, I see where
you're going with this. For the first time since I came back to save this federation, it looks like you have your head in the right place... So... [Deep, Doozerly sigh.] Doozer: I'll do this... for you... just this one time. And I swear, to all the Doozermiesters out there, if you're up to one of your acts... and you try and make a fool of
The Dooze. Well, General Manager or
not, I will Dooze and Abuse you. D-Zer... OUT. [Applause break from the crowd. The sound of Josh Peterson sniffling.] MPlow: Oh, and Doozer? Scott? Doozer: Plow? MPlow: Your partner can come, too. [Audible, accidental laugh from Doozer. Crowd joins in.] MPlow:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the general of the DREAM
Team, and your new
HWF World Champion, Doozer. But
that, I am proud to clarify, is not the major title announcement I previously addressed for tonight. With the war on HOSTILITY barely begun, and the battle for freedom from the World Wrestling Alliance finally met with victory, we have within our company a unique opportunity. Last night, on the weekly
DWF television program 'Slaughter', Doozer won the right to a DWF Championship match against Talon at a
future, unannounced date. I am proud to make that match official here tonight. However, when that match is over, the man who emerges victorious will not walk away as the DWF Champion. Instead, Doozer's HWF Championship will be put on the line as well... in a title unification match! That is correct, ladies and gentlemen... with the limitations of the
WWA Charter now lifted, I am happy to announce that the HWF Championship and DWF Championship will
merge, once and for all burying the plagued legacy that is Hostility, and re-cementing DREAM as the dominant force in global professional wrestling. This unified championship, the DWF World Championship, will be the only officially recognized world championship in the DREAM Wrestling Federation. War has begun, ladies and gentlemen.
For those who wear the ill-fated upon their hearts, I would recommend finding a safe place to hide. For those drawing the battle lines in the
sand, know which side to choose. And for those watching at home, don't [expletive deleted] blink. DREAM has changed forever. MPlow out. [Immediate uproar. A barrage of simultaneous questions.] Mark Zylbert:
Uh, I guess we
won't be taking questions tonight, folks. Please submit queries to my office at corporate headquarters within business week. [Louder outcry, scurrying of heavy footsteps.] The Cool Champion: This thing on? Yeah? Well... YOU'RE NOT COOL ENOUGH TO BE MR. COOL. NONE OF YOU! CHECK THE SIG. Josh Peterson: Well, that wraps things up for tonight, folks. Thanks for tuning in, and be sure to tell your friends to tune in for the recap, available all month long right here at DREAMWRESTLING.COM! For the DREAM Wrestling Federation, I'm Josh Peterson.