Season's Beatings is around the corner, and everyone is buzzing about the Main Event. I know that the Main Event is something I'd pay to see without being part of the show itself, it's a fight that's touched a bunch of nerves and a fight that every wrestling fan wants to see.

The only problem is that it's not the main event.

It doesn't matter what the office says or what matches are announced at what time, there's only one Main Event of record and it's whatever goes on last. Smart money says that it'll be the UTA Championship rematch between Yoshii and Perfection.

Only, the fans don't care about that match.

Yoshii is a good man. He's a good Champion and an honorable one, and despite his refusal to defend his title against women he has held the belt with dignity, and I like him as a human being. Unfortunately, that same quiet dignity does not translate to ticket sales.

Perfection... does not translate to ticket sales.

Let's take a look at Perfection. He entered the UTA and apparently fucked up pretty quickly because they shipped him off to the developmental league. He came back, won the UTA Championship and lost it on his first defense. And - this might be breaking the fourth wall here - but he decided that none of my VCW victories should count toward the Power Rankings. Funny how that only came to light when I was on the verge of cracking the Top Five. Jimmy Witherhold seems to subscribe to the theory that when people more talented than him are rapidly eclipsing him, instead of improving himself he'll try to hold them back.

Dynasty should take note: this might be relevant next year.

Jimmy W has exactly one marketable skill, and that's the fact that people hate his guts. Soon as someone else becomes the 'most hated' member of this company, the indifference toward him will be deafening.

So if the World Title match isn't he Main Event, what is? Spectre and Sean Jackson?

...Listen to the crickets.

They'd both like you to think so. After all, they've been feuding for years.

I haven't seen it, and I'd like to think I'm pretty attuned to the movers and shakers in this business. But even still, let's assume Spectre and Sean Jackson are, in fact, important to more than just the UTA. What about their feud has driven fans to the box office?

Was it the totally expected move of Spectre as the 'special enforcer' screwing Jackson out of his UTA Title?

Was it the completely telegraphed swerve of Spectre being placed as the Special Referee for the Five On Five Elimination match, and the fact that he got tased at the end of it?

Or was it the countless, endless stream of... press releases... that they've fired off?

The Spectator would have you, the paying fan, believe that the reason you're buying this Pay Per View is because of the angry and psychotic way in which he... spoke to the press.

But those are ANGRY news items. Can't you tell?

Let me break it down for the newbies in the audience: there are two types of professional wrestlers in this sport. There are the wrestlers who do things and the wrestlers who talk about doing things.

Spectre is a talker. In many ways, he and Dynasty deserve each other.

So who's in the Main Event at Season's Beatings?

It's not me: I'm not that egotistical yet. I've carved out quite a name for myself so far and I'm sure my rumored presence has sold some tickets at least, but I'm not the draw.

So who's in the Main Event at Season's Beatings?

I'd say it's a match between two athletes that could more accurately be described as a fight.

I'd say it's a match between two athletes with comparable skills and abilities where, on paper, it's anyone's game.

Let's raise the stakes. It's a blood feud. It's a fight between two athletes that's been played out in the ring, not in the dirt sheets.

It's a fight between two athletes who used to be friends, until one of them kicked the other in the face.

It's a fight between two athletes who used to be friends and are now bitter enemies where the fans have been watching them since the beginning of their relationship, and they are actively and passionately invested in the outcome.

No, it hasn't been announced yet, and as someone who isn't part of the inner circle, it may not be announced at all - but if I was going to spend my money on Season's Beatings, the main event - the one match - that I'd want to see would be Madman Szalinski vs. La Flama Blanca.

Everything else is just an appetizer.

I am The Second Coming.