Two Weeks Ago
The words “Two weeks ago” show up in the bottom right hand corner of the screen, we’re greeted first to Mikey Unlikely standing in the ring, microphone in hand.
Mikey smiles and looks around at all the fans.
Unlikely: Finally I have reached a level to where no one can touch me, I saved and saved and saved, ALLLLLLL that Mikey Money, and then when I finally had enough, I saved some more!!!!
Ace: What a financially responsible guy!
Unlikely: and that is why, I am making this announcement! Ladies and gentlemen, I , Mister MIkey Unlikely, do hereby RETIRE from WrestleUTA action!
The place explodes at this announcement.
Unlikely: But that leads me to my second announcement!
Ace: Ohhhh, I don’t know if my heart can handle another one.
Kendrix tries to calm everyone down from inside the ring with his hand motions.
Unlikely: Hold onto your pants folks, cause this one is a doozy. Once again, I, Mister Mikey Unlikely, have PURCHASED WRESTLEUTA!!!!!!
Blackfront: NO!!! Folks we heard the rumors for MONTHS! Who owns UTA!? Well now it seems that man is Mikey Unlikely the former Wrestle UTA Heavyweight Champion, Dynasty member, and WTFC member, who owns this company!
Unlikely: Exactly ONE WEEK AGO, here on HULU, you all saw me sign a document, that document was the purchase of this fine company! Let the Mikey era begin!
Unlikely: This title will be on the line in the very first WRESTLEUTA Sink or Swim World Title Tournament, also known as, the WUTASOSWTT to save time!
Blackfront: I’m not sure that saved a second…
Unlikely: TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY, the tournament will kick off right here on WRESTLUEUTA on Hulu, and will proceed on Hulu until its conclusion LIVE on PAYPERVIEW!!!! Sixteen of your favorite UTA Superstars! Round one is going to be a big folks, you won't want to miss this, because every "superstar" who loses in round one, will be released from their respective UTA contracts, while the winners move on to the next round!
It hits full flow with a massive pyrotechnic burst and the lights come back up. Standing at the top of the ramp, decked-out in a black bomber jacket and grey jeans, is a man immediately recognisable to anyone with their finger on professional wrestling’s pulse.
Ace: It’s our latest signing!
Blackfront: The news broke earlier this afternoon on WrestleUTA.com -- there’s a Murray back in the Ultimate Toughness Alliance, but not the one you think!
Andy Murray can’t mask the huge grin that the crowd’s warm reaction brings to his face. He’s soon making his way to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as he goes.
Ace: Maaan, look at the size of this guy!
Crimson picks up Byrd quickly and puts his head between his legs and lifts Bryd up into a high angle powerbomb. He tosses Bryd hard to the mat! Michael holds his head and it appears CL is not done yet. He picks up a stunned Byrd and again sets up another powerbomb! This time tosses Bryd to the other side of the ring with the powerbomb!
Blackfront: Crimson is continuing his onslaught, he has Micheal set up for ANOTHER powerbomb!
Crimson has Bryd in another high angle powerbomb and this time is spinning in circles and finally drives him back to the mat violently. Bryd seems completely out of it.
Ace: Crimson is bombing Bryd straight to hell!
Blackfront: Look at this Tommy, Crimson again has a lifeless Bryd in another powerbomb!
Bryd slams against the mat again, and CL stares down at him for a moment. He grabs him by the hair and pulls Michael who clearly appears to be unconscious. CL sets him up for yet another powerbomb.
Blackfront: I think your right Tommy, he is bombing Bryd to hell! WAIT A MINUTE!
Crimson turns around and powerbombs Bryd right into the turnbuckle, Bryd’s head whiplashes off the turnbuckle! Michael slumps down at the turnbuckle, his eyes glazed over.
Ace: Well, that mean streak is back he seems like a totally different man then he was at the beginning of the match.
Blackfront: It looks like Crimson is going for the finish here setting up for his Blood Lust.
CL walks away from Bryd who is sitting on the turnbuckle, his chin resting on his chest. Crimson looks out into the fans who have enjoyed the bomb city. He looks back at Bryd, and walks over to him. CL takes his feet and puts them behind the second rope. He grabs Bryd’s hair and slams his head backward slamming it against the middle turnbuckle. He continues to slams Bryd’s head over and over against the middle turnbuckle.
Ace: This man is out of control, do something you worthless referee!
The camera pans across the screaming fans before we finally rest on Jason Blackfront and Tommy Ace.
Blackfront: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Seventh episode of WrestleUTA on Hulu. I'm Jason Blackfront and joining me is my broadcast partner, Tommy Ace! Tommy, how we doing tonight!
Ace: We’re doing great Jason! Mikey is in full control, and tonight kicks off the WUTASOSWTT! I am so excited!
Blackfront: Yes indeed folks, the WrestleUTA Sink or Swim World Title Tournament kicks off with four opening round matchups! Even better yet… Mikey didn’t give us the line up, so we are just as in the dark about who is in this thing as you are folks.
Ace: Right! Mikey is a showman, and he wants his show to be very exciting, what’s more exciting than mystery opponents Jason?
Blackfront: Not a thing partner! So far we know newcomers Andy Murray and Chris “The Boss” Ross have been entered, and we also know Marie Van Claudio answered the call when presented the opportunity by our new owner!
Ace: Mikey told her, give up the Women’s title, and you can fight for the WORLD title! That sounds better to me! But first Marie has to get through her first round opponent, keep in mind Jason, the losers are fired on the spot!
Blackfront: Right you are! Every opening round matchup has each wrestlers contract involved as a stipulation! The winners move onto the field of eight!
The lights go down in the arena. The tron lights up, showing a ridiculously large desk and a man sitting behind it, that man is WrestleUTA owner, Mikey Unlikely.
Ace: Speaking of the boss… here he is!
Mikey has his hands grasped in front of him, his cool, calm demeanor is not very threatening.
Unlikely: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of WrestleUTA on HULU! Thank you for choosing WrestleUTA for all of your violent, sexy, and physical needs. I wanted to show up here at the top of the show, and thank all of you for tuning in, and promise you a hell of a program!
He gets up and paces back and forth.
Unlikely: Tonight, you will see debuts, tonight you will see farewells, and tonight you will see the FUTURE of WRESTLEUTA in that very ring! No more will terribly obese men, be allowed to wear thongs to the ring, no more will a family of “Old School Wrasllers” own the biggest Sports Entertainment Conglomerate on the planet. No more… will we die. WrestleUTA is around for the long haul, we are committed to bringing you the best action found anywhere around the world. In the upcoming weeks, expect the unexpected, say hello to some new favorites, and say goodbye to the WrestleUTA of yesteryear! Most of all however, enjoy the show!
We cut to commercial break.
WrestleUTA Sink or Swim World Title Tournament
Lew Smith vs ???????
We cut back from commercial break, and Lew Smith stands in the ring, poised and ready for action. His new attire shining in the lights, he waves to the crowd smiling.
Blackfront: It’s do or die for Lew Smith tonight.
Ace: Someone is going home without a job, in this match!
Blackfront: What I’m wondering is who Lew Smith’s opponent is going to be here.
Suddenly Badlands by Mayday begins to play over the loudspeakers.
Blackfront: Oh no…..
Ace: Oh yes! This is going to be good!
Chris Ross walks out carrying what appears to be a cake on a tray. The camera zooms in on the cake showing it says “Happy Retirement Lew”.
Blackfront: Are you kidding me?! Ross brought a cake?!
Ace: Isn’t that nice of him? Such a nice upstanding guy!
Ross sets the cake down in the corner and slaps the microphone out of Justin Roberts’ hand not even wanting him to announce his name. Lew Smith is clearly not amused seeing the cake that Ross brought to the ring.
The match begins with Ross and Lew locking up and Ross shoving Lew across the ring with his greater strength. The Boss laughs flexing his arm talking trash to the smaller martial artist. Lew Smith runs and lands a few forearms before The Keystone State Killer grabs him and slams him with a belly to belly suplex, followed by a brutal Saito suplex, and ending then ending the chain of moves with a release german suplex sending the smaller Lew Smith in a heap in the ring. The Boss goes for a cover only to get a two count.
The Suplex Machine grabs a handful of hair and pulls Lew to his feet before suddenly Lew turns around and nails Ross with a spinning roundhouse kick that stuns him. Lew turns and bounces off the ropes only to be hit with a clothesline that causes him to do a flip and land on his face. The Keystone State Killer walks around laughing before he hoists Smith to his feet and dumps him onto the top of his head with a T-Bone suplex. The fans cringe as Lew Smith appears to be out cold.
The Boss goes for a cover and still only gets a two. A frustrated Ross backs up waiting for Lew to get up. Ross runs and Lew nails The Boss with a super kick! The moment Ross collapses onto the ground Smith bounces off the ropes and nails him with a splash before going for the pin. Lew gets a two count as the fans let out an audible groan of disappointment. Chris slowly gets to his feet and Lew swings for a roundhouse kick and Ross grabs his leg and sends the martial artist over his head with a cradle suplex!
Lew lays on his stomach The Keystone State Killer walks over and grabs him by his legs. Chris hoists him up and slams Smith face first into the mat before he falls back and slams Lew Smith on the back of his head with a wheelbarrow suplex! At this point The Boss casually slides out of the ring and grabs a drink from a fan and drinks it. The referee starts the 10 count. Before the count of 8 Lew Smith gets up and Ross slides back into the ring. Ross goes to grapple with Smith but immediately rolls him up in a small package! Lew only gets a one count and The Boss pounces on top of Smith and starts raining down brutal forearm shots.
Blood starts to pour out of Lew Smith’s nose as he lands forearm after forearm. Ross backs off as the referee checks to see if Smith can even continue. Smith clearly on wobbly legs gets up and is greeted with a boot to the stomach. The Boss bends Smith over and hooks his arms. He flips Smith over for a Tiger Driver but Smith latches his legs on Ross’ head wrapping them around his neck. Ross walks around with Smith on his shoulders. Smith rolls over trying to take Ross down for a roll up but he grabs Smith’s legs. The struggle continues as Ross spins Smith around smacking the referee in the process taking him out.
Lew finally takes Ross over and the fans count 1… 2...3...4...5… The referee is down and no one is home to make the count. Smith lets go of him and walks over trying to wake the referee… The Boss walks over and grabs the cake he brought to the ring. Lew Smith turns around and Ross smashes him in the face with it! Smith is clearly stunned trying to wipe the icing out of his eyes and The Keystone State Killer takes full advantage and bounces off the ropes nailing Smith with a punch to the back of the head knocking him down. He stops and grabs The Martial Artist’s arms and places a foot to the back of his head and slams him face first with a curbstomp. Ross not even bothering to wake up the referee casually pins Smith and slaps the referee’s hand against the mat for the three count.
Blackfront: This is ridiculous! A cake, an unconscious referee, and now Lew Smith basically has been given his walking papers!
Ace: Has anyone really liked that guy to begin with?
Blackfront: This isn’t funny Ace!
Ross slides out of the ring and grabs Lew Smith hoisting him onto his shoulders and walking up the ramp and to the back with him.
Blackfront: Where in the world is Chris Ross going with Lew Smith?!
Blackfront: Can you believe that Chris Ross, Now Lew Smith is without a job!
Ace: It’s about time someone took Lew Smith out!
A couple of green puffs of smoke shoot up on the stage prior to Paparazzi by Jim Johnston beginning to play.
Blackfront: It appears Ivy has got something on her mind.
Ace: She obviously is not happy.
Ivy heads out to the stage. More green smoke shoots up before she begins down the ramp. She does the splits on the edge of the apron before entering the ring. She walks over to the ropes and demands a microphone.
Ivy: So that's it? This blonde American girl is just going to lay that championship on the ground! The nerve of you Americans, MVC you knew didn’t you? YOU knew that I would be the first Korean in this company’s history to become a CHAMPION!
She paces back and forth in a blind fury.
Ivy: You are not just going relinquish that championship like that! No, no ,no you are going to go back to Mr. Unlikely and tell him you changed your mind! Then you're going to come in this ring and lose it to me like you would inevitably have done!
Blackfront: Ivy clearly upset of what MVC has done to the women’s division here in the UTA.
Ace: She is nothing more than a emotional crybaby!
♫They see me rollin, They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty♫
As Chamillionaire's Ridin' Dirty continues, Theo Baylor steps out from the back and starts down the ramp. He has a microphone in his hand as he talks on his way to the ring.
Blackfront: Apparently Mr. Baylor has something things to add to Ivy’s case.
Baylor: Boo hoo, face it Ivy MVC’s going for the only championship that matters in this business!
He makes his way up the steps while Ivy has a cold stare toward him as he enters the ring.
Baylor: Face it Mr. Unlikely found it necessary to toss that piece of tin foil you call a championship in the dumpster!
He looks away from her and snickers for a moment before looking back at her.
Baylor: Along with wrestling joke of women's wrestling!
Ivy quickly slaps Baylor across the face. His head jerks to the left while he rubs his cheek. He looks back at her with a smile. He quickly grabs her by the hair. He pulls her hair to the side and looks back at her.
Baylor: That was entertaining let me show you how it's done..
Ivy’s hair is released and Ivy does not back down, Baylor grabs her by the throat and lifts her up while she struggles against his strength.
The tron quickly turns to snow and the fans know what is next as a pop can be heard throughout the arena. The figure in black appears on the tron, as they speak in the same distorted voice.
Figure in Black: Go ahead do it Theo.
Theo looks on surprised and the fans seem to change their thoughts on the figure in black after that response. Theo takes the figures advice and continues what he was originally going to do and chokeslams Ivy to the mat! She holds her head in clear pain. Theo looks down at her...
Blackfront: I do not think Crimson found what Baylor just did because here he comes with his mysterious partner.
Ace: I do not see why? Theo did us a favor and permanently shut the door on the UTA’s failed attempted at a female division!
Suddenly the lights turn off Cry Little Sister by Blutengel
♫A last fire will rise behind those eyes
Black house will rock, blind boys don't lie
Immortal fear, that voice so clear
Through broken walls, that scream I hear♫
A blinding light appears from the entrance way and two figures can be seen one tall and one small. Theo turns and looks at the two knowing its Crimson Lord he begs for him to bring it! The fans give off a mix reaction.
With every steps Crimson and his friend take the lights slowly illuminate. Until he reaches the front of the ring and the lights have fully returned to normal.
♫Cry, little sister - Thou shall not fall
Come to your brother - Thou shall not die
Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear
Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill♫
Crimson has a black hood over his head, in a purple singlet with the Perfect Weapon logo on the front and a few bolts of lightning in pink coming down from the straps. Crimson walks the steps, Ivy has gotten out of the ring. Crimson walks the apron and steps over the top rope. The figure who has been shadowing Crimson is dressed in a black cloak with a black mask on. They walk around the ring.
Crimson removes his hood, his head is shaved, black shadow under his eyes. Theo is taken back by the new look of Crimson Lord.
Blackfront: It appears this new friend of Crimson’s has had a huge impact on him. Never thought I would see Crimson Lord without his traditionary long hair.
Ace: What are you coming on to him?
Ace: It is ok Jason, if you have finally found the courage to want to come out of the closet live here is this pitiful city.
Blackfront: Bite me Tommy!
Ace: No thanks you might be able to find a guy out in this sea of uneducated buffoons that would be happy to let you bite them.
Crimson Lord vs Theo Baylor
Blackfront: What a night it has been so far Chris Ross advances in the tournament, and now it appears Crimson Lord has injected himself in defense of Ivy’s behalf.
Ace: Crimson needs to stay out of things that do not concern him.
Blackfront: Would you like to tell him that Tommy.
Theo gets face to face with Crimson. While he stares up at Crimson he starts to bad mouth him. While the bell rings, Theo pushes Crimson away from him! Crimson looks away with a slight grin on his face while he slowly looks back at Theo.
They lock up and Theo shoves CL off of him. Crimson bounces off the ropes to stop the momentum of the push. Theo charges and clotheslines CL over the top rope. Crimson lands on his feet, he grabs Theo’s legs from under the bottom rope and pulls him outside. Theo quickly retaliates by unloading with rights and lefts. CL much like two weeks ago is not defending himself yet again.
They start to battle up the ramp, but this time CL is almost daring him to continue to punch him in the face by pointing to his cheek. Theo continues to unload getting mad with each punch and the constant taunting by Crimson. Finally Theo decides to take it back in the ring and throws CL into the ring and quickly follows just in time before the ref can reach ten.
Crimson gets to his feet and turns to Baylor who charges with a clothesline knocking CL down. Theo picks up Crimson and nails a vertical suplex he floats over to continue to unload on Crimson. The continued lack of defense on CL’s part continues. Theo picks up the seven footer and locks in a gut wrench suplex slamming CL to the mat.
Baylor picks up CL once more throws him off the ropes and back body drops him to the mat. He goes off the ropes and drops a leg and quickly goes for the cover. The ref quickly gets down for the count.
Theo quickly picks up Crimson throws a few punches before tossing him to the outside once more. He waits for Crimson to get up , he pulls the rope inward and launches himself over the top rope in a body splash on the outside. Theo gets up while CL is slow to get up, the figure has walked around the ring to watch. Theo gets a look toward them before picking up Crimson and tossing him in the ring. He points at the figure advising them to stay out of it. Crimson is on his feet not looking toward Theo and the figure.
Baylor gets on the apron, He hops on the top rope, The figure pulls a microphone from their pocket, and quickly says while Theo is in mid flight.
A close up of CL’s face once more shows his eyes widen, he quickly turns around as Theo is coming toward him with a axe handle. Crimson nails Theo in mid air with a vicious clothesline! Baylor lands on the back of his head. While the fans shout “Holy Shit!” Crimson looks down at the figure while they open their hand toward Theo. CL looks down at a stunned Baylor. He picks him up and knees him in the gut, quickly followed by a elbow to the back of the head!
Crimson drives his knee into the back of Baylor while he is on the mat face first. Crimson grabs Theo’s chin and pulls back in a hard to watch vicious submission move. After a few minutes in the submission move Crimson releases it. He picks up Baylor and throws him hard into the corner turnbuckle!
CL moves in and starts to unload with a flurry of forearm and punches all over the upper portion of Theo’s body. CL side steps as Theo stumbles out of the corner and falls face first. Crimson wastes no time and picks up Theo and throws him off the ropes as Theo approaches, Crimson pushes him up into the air catches him on his shoulders and falls back into a samoan drop!
Crimson stands up and looks over at Theo. As Baylor gets to his feet slowly. Crimson charges and Theo instinctively ducks a clothesline, but as he turns around Crimson quickly responses with a leaping clothesline! Baylor not quick enough to catch CL’s response time hits the mat with force. Crimson sits up on his knees staring out into the crowd who clearly are enjoying the match with the reaction from them.
Crimson gets to his feet as Theo holds his head on the mat. CL looks at the figure outside, who raises the microphone to their lips and in that distorted voice.
Figure: Has the Wrestlezone reached a verdict?
The fans roar as most of them shout “GUILTY!” Crimson stares out into the sea of fans in the Wrestlezone.
Figure: The Final Judgment is…..INNOCENT!
The fans boo loudly at the figure, Crimson looks back at Theo who runs at Crimson. Crimson quickly kicks Baylor in the gut lifts him up and nails his Corkscrew Piledriver! The fans continue to shout “GUILTY” CL picks up Theo and throws him on his shoulder with his face down. Crimson shouts out into the arena!
Crimson Lord: VERDICT: INNOCENT!
The fans boo at neither of them listening to what verdict they wanted. CL pushes Theo’s legs upward forcing his body to move in a one hundred and eighty degree motion above his head. Just as Baylor's body is to the right side of CL, he turns into him and drops down in a version of Crimson’s Blood Lust! The fans look on for a moment then quickly cheer at the move! The figure starts to walk up the steps as Crimson places his hand on Theo’s chest while on one knee.
Cry Little Sister by Blutengel plays once more.
♫A last fire will rise behind those eyes
Black house will rock, blind boys don't lie
Immortal fear, that voice so clear
Through broken walls, that scream I hear♫
Ivy, who has been outside the ring during the match gets in. As the figure walks up to Crimson who stands up the ref tries to raise CL’s hand but he refuses for it to be raised. Ivy gets in the ring and starts to bad mouth Crimson for interfering in her business. Crimson looks at the figure, who again talks into the microphone.
Figure: It is the judgment of this court Ivy, I find you….GUILTY!
Crimson looks back at Ivy, as her eyes widen. Crimson walks toward Ivy she quickly raises her fists ready to defend herself as CL and the figure walk past her.
♫Cry, little sister - Thou shall not fall
Come to your brother - Thou shall not die
Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear
Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill♫
They both leave while Crimson Lord’s theme plays leaving Ivy and the crowd stunned.
Blackfront: These fans here in the Wrestlezone along with myself are baffled at the actions of both Crimson and this figure in black.
Ace: It is almost like they are doing the opposite of what the fans want them to do.
Blackfront: It seems that way, I thought Ivy was in big trouble after this mysterious person found her guilty.
Ace: Well, the woman Ivy has a issue with Marie Van Claudio is next fans. Makes you wonder if Ivy will take it upon herself to interject herself into this match.
Blackfront: Remember Tommy, this is a Sink or Swim match, this could be the last time we see MVC in the UTA if she doesn’t come up with a win.
Ace: True, in the end the UTA Women’s Championship is no more. Just something Ivy I think will have to accept but if she interferes, she could cost herself a chance down the line of facing her in the future.
We come back from commercial break to the office of WrestleUTA owner, Mikey Unlikely. He sits behind his behemoth of a desk, and leans back in his chair, with a pencil in his mouth. He looks down on a stack of paper quizzingly. Behind him JFK tries on the WrestleUTA World Title, strapping it around his waist.
Unlikely: Yea…. This is a lot of work bruv… I thought when I bought this company I could just sit back and relax, and make everyone do what I wanted!
Kendrix continues to look at his reflection off of the gold around his waist.
Kendrix: Really? JFK always thought the higher up you are in life the less you do. Can't you just get Jammy Jam to do everything? Then we can just hang out at the strippees!
Unlikely: Jimmy Jam!? I can’t find that guy anywhere! I thought he worked here! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
He chews on the eraser of the pencil. There is a soft knock on the door. Surprised by the knock and excited to do anything other than paperwork, Mikey quickly says “come in”.
A stagehand walks into the door with a headset on, he is nervous but enters without delay.
Stagehand: Sir, you told me to let you know when Ron Hall arrived, he is here and I told him you were looking for him.
Unlikely: SPLENDID! Here you go sir…
Mikey hands the young man a few bills from his jacket pocket. “Mikey Money”, the guy takes it slowly confused. Unlikely looks down at the paperwork quickly, then back up to the stagehand.
Unlikely: You know how to do this? All these forms?
The guy looks even more confused now.
Stagehand: No sir, I only handle the security coordination.
Unlikely furrows his brow, and looks angrily at the young man.
Unlikely: You’re fired! Get the hell out of my sight!
The guy turns to leave but is stopped short by JFK.
Kendrix: Woah, woah, woah….
Kendrix reaches into the guy’s shirt pocket and takes the Mikey Money back.
Kendrix: Listen Yeah, this is for Bruvs only, and you don’t work for the Bruvs any longer…
The man shakes his head, and stares at the two larger wrestlers in disbelief before finally taking his leave. Removing the headset as he goes.
Kendrix: How many people have you fired now bruv?
Unlikely looks to the sky, trying to remember.
Unlikely: I would say about twenty or so… Not counting Lew Smith, who is the first victim of the WUTASOSWTT!
Kendrix: That’s so catchy. Twitter is going to blow up with that hashtag, OBVS!
Unlikely: TOTALLY OBVS!
Kendrix: Speaking of catchy, JFK is totally obvs in on becoming the next UTA World Heavyweight Champion.
Jesse looks out to his side and holds his hands out wide up in front of him, taking a moment to picture himself as champion. Turning back to Mikey he begins to unstrap the belt from his waist.
Kendrix: Now, JFK knows you haven't told him if he's even in the tournament, cos, you know, it's a mystery and all that...
He uses his fingers to site the word mystery in inverted commas.
Kendrix: But, between Bruvs, JFK knows the plan. He's in the tournament, you put me up against nobodies who JFK obvs beats easily then later in the tournament you've got JFK’s back at ringside, JFK becomes champ, we go party with strippees etc etc. Easy!
Unlikely does a double take and looks at his tag team partner in appall.
Unlikely: What the!? Who do you think I am!? Listen Bruv, you and I, we’re tight! REAL TIGHT!...
Kendrix: Oh Lord!
Unlikely: #DrakeLove. But just because we’re tight, doesn’t mean I am going to help you in the tournament.
Now it’s Kendrix’s turn to look hurt and confused.
Kendrix: But...but...Hollywood Bruvs??!!
Unlikely: What kind of owner would I be, if I gave you the path to easy street!? If there is one thing in this world that Mikey is, it’s fair and balanced! I’m known world wide for being not only the most sports entertaining performer the world’s ever seen, but also for being completely impartial!
Mikey nods, conceding a point.
Unlikely: Now I can tell you, that I think JFK has an incredibly bright future here in WrestleUTA, but I make no promises on helping you get there! You have to do this one on your own, with no help from me! We’re still Bruvs but I have to maintain professional integrity.
Kendrix’s mouth is open wide in total shock. Shaking his head in disbelief he slams the title back down on Mikey's desk.
Kendrix: What the actual Eff bruv?! After everything we've been through, all the strippees, Drake concerts, Oreo frappes…#freemikeyunlikely petitions, uh uh...wrestling matches!!! JFK thought you had his back!
Unlikely: O.M.G. CALM DOWN DAMMIT! Mikey will always have your back, but you are good enough to get there on your own! If anyone knows that you are the best wrestler on the roster, it’s me! That’s why you got that big bump in pay when I took over!
There is another knock at the door.
Unlikely: Now can you calm down enough for me to get some business done!? I’ve been at it all day!
Kendrix: You calm down! Eff this and Eff you... Michael!
Kendrix storms out of the office in one hell of a huff. Unlikely looks shocked that he was called by his birth name.
Unlikely: HEY YOU DON’T SAY THAT!
Too late, JFK is gone, Now the door hangs open, and in walks the previous knocker. It’s Ron Hall!
The Southern Rebel walks in, and sits down across the desk from Unlikely. He crosses one leg over the other, and doesn’t say a word. Mikey tosses his pencil down and smiles wide.
Unlikely: Ron Hall, How the hell are ya!?
Ron nods a bit, and tips his cap in the way of Mikey.
Unlikely: Now Ron, I know you weren’t here last week, some issue with your family I hear, Nonetheless, I am sure you’ve become aware of the changes here.
Ron Hall sits stone faced.
Unlikely: Oh Ron, Ron, Ron….
Mikey stands and begins to pace back and forth.
Unlikely: Let me ask you, where were you at tonight? I have instituted a very strict check in time for WRESTLEUTA on HULU and you missed it by about…
Mikey pulls a giant clock from one of his desk drawers and sets it on the table.
Unlikely: THREE HOURS!!!!
Ron smirks from the corner of his mouth.
Hall: I was working on official WrestleUTA business. You know, I was doing my job.
Unlikely: Your job is to do whatever the hell I tell you to do!
Hall once again doesn’t respond.
Hall: I was signing the newest WrestleUTA superstar to a very lucrative contract.
Mikey doesnt believe what he’s heard.
Unlikely: Wait… Wait… Maybe I didn’t hear you right. Did you just say you were out SPENDING MY MONEY!?
Hall waits a turn before giving it back.
Hall: If you're that worried about money than you never should have bought the promotion to start with!
The Owner of WrestleUTA slams his hands onto the table and looks directly at Ron.
Unlikely: Well no worries Ron, because you no longer have a job, YOU ARE FIRED!!!!
Hall doesn't say a word, a cynical smile crosses his face and he gives the Owner a look crossing between contempt and disgust.
Unlikely: (slowly) I just fired you.
Hall: All that money and you can't hire someone to read a contract?
Unlikely: What are you babbling about you senile old man?
Hall: Go ahead and fire me. Please fire me! I'm begging you, cause when you do, you will have one hell of a lawsuit on your hands.
Mikey looks at Ron like he has no idea what Ron is talking about.
Ron: You did look at my contract right?
An awkward moment of silence as the boss shakes his head “no”.
Ron: In addition to keeping the small block of stock my family has in this company, my contract is guaranteed and no cut. You (pointing at Mikey) cannot fire me on a whim. If you try to fire me without a cause or I quit, then I will own this company in a week after I drag your ass into court for breaching it!
Mikey stands up straight slowly.
Unlikely: Hmmmmm. Trust me, I will have every member of my extensive legal team look into this. You know what I can do however? You were three hours late to MY SHOW? And last week, you missed it all together…
Ron looks unphased.
Unlikely: So you are hereby DEMOTED from the General Manager position. You had a contract with Wingate and his group, when they sold. The company has since been sold again since that time. I am going to find a way to get rid of you, but in the meantime, you enjoy your new job…
The Southern Rebel raises an eyebrow waiting.
Unlikely: Head of Custodial Services! NOW THAT is a rather impressive title!
Hall: You done?
Mikey nods seemingly pleased with himself, Ron leans across the desk and into Mikey's face.
Ron: You can give me whatever (redacted) job you want. I'm not quitting. As far as your team of stuffed shirts and this power play you're trying… you might want to call Wingate and ask him how that ended for him. I will be around weather you like it or not.
Unlikely: Only pushing a broom, now get out of my office!
The two are both turning red, both angry. The scene fades as Ron Hall heads for the door.
WrestleUTA Sink or Swim World Title Tournament
Scott Stevens vs ???????
Blackfront: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to this outstanding edition of Wrestle UTA on Hulu as we are having a tournament to crown a new world champion.
Ace: Sad day.
Blackfront: Why’s that?
Ace: Because the greatest world champion in the history of UTA had to forfeit his championship and we won’t be able to see his greatness in the ring anymore.
Jason Blackfront palms his face as we move to the ring were Jeremy Roberts is standing ready to introduce a very special stipulation for the next match of the evening.
Roberts: The stipulation for the upcoming match in the UTA World Championship tournament is for one fall and a twenty minute time limit where the winner and the loser is FIRED!
Ace: What did he just say?!?!? Did he say what I think he said?
Blackfront: You heard right and this is a big time motivator for both of these competitors whoever they are.
Ace: Exactly, we could have anyone from John Sektor and Kendrix to Lance Mikes and Chance Von Crank get issued their pink slip tonight.
As Tommy and Jason continue to put over the fact that someone is getting fired before their eyes the first competitor with their job on the line music begins to play.
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The opening guitar riffs and Hellraiser by Motorhead begins to play throughout the PA system.
Blackfront: Oh my……
Ace: Yes! He can go on permanent vacation!
Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Coming to the ring first…
The cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas.
Roberts: The former UTA Wildfire Champion…
Walking down the aisle, Stevens smiles and plays to the crowd, who have a mixed reaction for the man.
Roberts: Standing at 6’6”, and weighing in at 256lbs…
As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and waits for his opponent
Roberts: SCOTTTTTTTTTTT! STEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNSSSSSSS!
An icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions.
Blackfront: Stevens said he always wanted an opportunity at the world title and it doesn’t get any bigger than this.
Ace: If he doesn’t win back to the bush leagues!
Blackfront: I wouldn’t call it that…..
Ace: Than what would you call it? WrestleUTA is the top wrestling promotion around and if you’re not here your bush league.
Blackfront: Maybe so, but everywhere Stevens has been he’s been a champion and since he came to UTA he’s had one goal and that is to be world champion.
Ace: He wants to be the best but there is only one best and his name is Mikey Unlikely.
Love Made Me by Vixen plays as the fans are cheering Marie Van Claudio walks out of the back and into the arena as she sees the fans looking at her and clapping.
Blackfront: This shall be interesting.
Ace: Yep, as we see which one of these two losers is going to be fired. I can’t wait!
She begins to walk down the ramp with everyone clapping.
Roberts: Hailing from Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Marie gets right in the ring and looks at everyone looking at her as Marie walks right in the ring before looking at the referee
Blackfront: Marie gave up her Women’s championship to have an opportunity at the UTA’s top prize.
Ace: Let’s be honest, she paid the golden price to get in this tournament because normally she would never get an opportunity like this ever.
Blackfront: I wouldn’t say that…..
Ace: Whatever, the women’s division was created so they could win championships. End of Story!
Marie looks at the referee and before getting on the bottom rope and bounces on it before getting off.
Roberts: She is the first and only UTA Women’s champion……MARIE... VAN.... CLAAAUUUDDDIIIOOO!!!!
She moves her head left and right as her theme music begins to fade.
The official in charge of the match make his way to both corners and checks both competitors before signaling for the bell.
Blackfront: And we are underway.
Ace: About time, I want to see one of them fired!
Stevens and Claudio both come out of their respective corners and Claudio is the first to extend a hand and the Texan looks down at it and shakes his head as he backs back up into his corner as Claudio does the same.
Ace: Stevens taking this opportunity very seriously and focusing on the brass ring.
Blackfront: I agree with you Tommy. Stevens is normally a good and respected veteran of the sport but he’s not going to shake the hand of the woman who could possibly get him fired and prevent him an opportunity at the world championship.
Ace: And this is why Marie Van Claudio has never gotten passed the mid-card.
Stevens and Marie Van Claudio come out of their corners once more and begin to circle one another in the center of the ring.
Blackfront: Who’s going to make the first move?
Ace: You mean the first mistake don’t you?
Stevens makes the first move and goes to lock up but the quicker and more agile Claudio easily ducks under the attempt and appears behind the Texan. Claudio taps Stevens on his shoulder and the former Wildfire champion turns around and eats a knuckle sandwich.
Ace: Stupid Stevens.
The punch staggers Stevens back towards one of the corners and Marie builds up a head of steam as she charges Stevens and dropkicks the Texan sending the air from his lungs and his body into the corner. Marie cocks her arm and runs at the former Wildfire champion at full force and rocks Stevens with a stiff looking forearm.
Blackfront: Marie is bringing the attack to Stevens and if she wants to walk out victorious she has to do just that.
Ace: Please, the only thing Marie Van Claudio is good for is her softcore porn she passes off as Yoga.
Marie Van Claudio yells out “Let’s Go” to the crowd and a roar comes over them as she begins to improve the facial features of Scott Stevens with rapid fire forearm shots. Marie backs up a bit and winds up with the crowd behind her before running in with another forearm that sends the Texan to the canvas. Cover.
Stevens with a kick out.
Blackfront: Stevens kicks out at two.
Ace: One more second and he’d be gone forever.
Marie looks at the ref and shows three fingers but he informs her to was indeed a two count. Marie bends down to pick up Stevens but the Texan pushes her away and slithers out of the ring and onto the floor to catch a breather.
Blackfront: Stevens rolling out to catch his breath and think of Plan B.
Ace: Stevens should just quit now since he just got his ass beat up by a girl.
Claudio waits for Stevens to stand up before building up some momentum to deliver a baseball slide to the back of Stevens sending him against the announce table.
Blackfront: Watch out!
The announcers move out of the way as Stevens hits the front of the table and Claudio climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Ace: Get up you wuss!
Blackfront: Don’t provoke the man.
Ace: What’s he gonna do?
Stevens slowly gets up and staggers back around towards the ropes and Marie launches herself and takes Stevens down with a crossbody. Marie jumps up and slams her hands onto the announce table and screams out towards the fans and they shower her with praise.
Blackfront: Marie is fired up here tonight and the crowd is loving it.
Ace: Big whoop.
Marie Van Claudio reaches down to pick up Stevens but gets rocked by an up kick from the Texan.
Blackfront: This is the opening Stevens needs, can he capitalize?
Stevens grabs Marie and sends her back first against the edge of the ring before grabbing her and sending her into the steel ring steps.
Blackfront: Marie may have been dominating the match since the opening bell but all it took was Stevens two seconds to turn things around with his incredible power.
Ace: Shut up will you, I think I can see her boobs from here.
Stevens looks at Marie and shakes his head and rolls back into the ring while the referee begins his ten count.
Marie Van Claudio begins to stir.
Marie begins to crawl to the ring.
Marie begins to pull herself up.
Blackfront: Marie beats the count of ten by the skin of her teeth.
Ace: Dammit! We almost had someone fired.
As Marie tries to push herself up she is driven back to the mat from and elbow to the back of the head. Stevens begins to put the boots to Claudio before jumping into the air and driving his knee brace into the back of her head. Stevens shoots the half and hooks a leg.
Claudio pops the right shoulder up in time.
Stevens remains on the attack as he puts Marie in a reverse chin lock and yells at the ref to check her, but the former Women’s champion says no.
Blackfront: Smart strategy by Stevens to keep Marie Van Claudio grounded while he regains his composure.
Ace: Smart when referring to Stevens doesn’t sound right.
Stevens begins to drive the point of his elbow into the neck of Marie before wrenching back on the chin lock and yelling at the ref to ask her again, but the official signals she isn’t quitting.
Blackfront: Marie is showing tremendous heart here tonight.
Stevens lets go of the chin lock so he can begin to deliver some vicious crossfaces that rattle the former Women’s champion.
Blackfront: Marie’s brain is getting scrambled with each blow.
Ace: That’s if she had a brain remember. She’s blonde after all.
Stevens delivers a final crossface before throwing her to the mat and making a cover with a forearm to the face.
Blackfront: Oh my! Marie with desperation kick out after taking such a beating from the former Wildfire champion.
Ace: She’s into that kinky stuff Jason.
Stevens lets out a yell of frustration as he hits the mat and makes his way over to Marie Van Claudio and places her between his legs.
Blackfront: Powerbomb or Piledriver possibly.
Stevens reaches down to pick up the former Women’s champion and lifts her, but Marie is able to get lose and slide down the back of Stevens.
Blackfront: Marie escapes and roll up, ROLL UP!
The referee slides into the picture and checks the shoulders before counting….
Stevens is able to roll out of it.
Stevens scrambles to his feet and bull rushes Marie Van Claudio, but she sidesteps the Texan and Stevens barrels shoulder first into the ring post.
Ace: Ringpost, one. Stevens, zero.
Stevens slowly backs himself from the corner holding his left shoulder. Marie is behind him and builds up momentum by hitting the ropes and she delivers the…..
Blackfront: Sling Blade by Marie! The end could be near for Stevens!
Marie Van Claudio quickly makes her way to the corner and begins to climb the turnbuckle and waits for Stevens to get up.
Blackfront: Claudio smells blood and she’s about to put the Texan out to pasture.
Ace: Nice pun.
Stevens gets to a knee and sees Marie Van Claudio perched on the top rope licking her chops like a salivating dog so he does the only thing to do in this situation; jump and hit the middle rope which causes Marie to fall onto the top turnbuckle hunched over.
Blackfront: Stevens with a timely counter that probably saved him this match.
Ace: Marie’s going to have to see her hymen specialist after that.
Stevens shakes out the cobwebs and scrambles over to Marie and hooks her with a ¾ facelock before running forward to deliver the Kiss of Death to Marie Van Claudio.
Blackfront: TOXIC STING! THAT’S GOT TO BE IT!
Stevens turns Marie over and hooks a leg as the referee drops to make his count.
The referee signals for the bell.
Announcer: And your winner by pinfall....SCOTTTTTTTTTTTTT STEEEEEEEEEEEVENSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Blackfront: He did it! He did it! Stevens survives and advances to the next round of the World title tournament.
Stevens has his hand raised in victory and begins to celebrate in the ring.
Blackfront: However, as joyous as this is for Stevens it’s not as joyous for Marie Van Claudio.
Ace: It should be Jason because know she can be a full time Yoga instructor and softcore actress as well!
Marie sits up with tears in her eyes knowing her career in UTA as come to an end and the fans shower her with praise.
Blackfront: The UTA faithful showing their respect for Marie Van Claudio.
Ace: I’ll show her some respect by singing, “Na Na Na….”
Blackfront: Stop it!
Marie slowly stands up absolutely balling from the respect shown the crowd when a hand taps her shoulder and she swings around a sees her opponent standing in front of her. Marie cocks her fist but seems shocked by how Stevens responds by extending his hand.
Blackfront: What’s this?
Ace: Stevens about to hit another Toxic Sting.
Marie cautiously extends her and the to shake hands and Stevens says something to her the cameras and microphones cannot pick up which brings her nod her head and Stevens gives her a hug before exiting the ring so Marie can have one last moment in a UTA ring.
Taking Out The Trash
The scene turns to outside of the arena where Chris Ross is seen carrying an unconscious Lew Smith. He looks around pondering.
Ross: Garbage garbage where is the nearest trash can….
Ross says before he spots a nearby dumpster.
The Boss yells as he storms over and like a sack of garbage throws Lew Smith into it. Smith slowly starts to get up only to have the lid slammed onto his head by Ross who lets out a laugh.
Ross: Yeah! Just call me The Garbage Man! That’s how you take out the trash! 717! HBG represent! The Boss has spoken!
Ross says in front of the camera as he pulls out his cell phone and dials it up and starts walking out of the scene.
Ross: Hello? Waste Management? I got a full dumpster here that needs emptied….
WrestleUTA Sink or Swim World Title Tournament
Charles Wingate vs ??????????
Back in the arena proper, “Don’t Waste My Time” by Krept & Konan begins to play over the speakers, and the lights dim light with pulses of red and white hitting each note beat. As the crowd begins their hollering, Charles Wingate emerges from behind the curtain. His arms arms out to the side and head tilted back.
Roberts: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, ,aking his way to the ring from Houston, Texas, he weighs in at 240lbs… CHAAAAARLES WIIIIINGAAAAATE!
Blackfront: The UTA Title Tournament continues with another first-round match, and this’ll be the fifth time we’ve seen Charles Wingate compete in a UTA ring. What do you make of him thus far?
Ace: I admire his guile. The kid’s not afraid to get his hands dirty to take the win home, and that serves him well when the stakes are so high. Remember that the winner of this match will be booted from the company: these men are literally fighting for their livelihoods, and if Wingate needs to exploit the rules, he will.
Blackfront: There’s so much at stake for him in particular. If Charles Wingate loses, there will no longer be a Wingate in the UTA! That’s huge!
Charles continues down the ramp way, stopping once in awhile to wink at a female who visibly on camera rejects him, he finally reaches the ring which he enters by walking up the steel steps.
The lights die, and “Hail to the King, Baby” by The Heavy Eyes hits. The song eventually kicks-in with a huge pyro explosion, and Andy Murray’s at the top of the ramp: back to the crowd, arms outstretched.
Ace: Can you imagine how hilarious it’d be if this guy received a pink slip after his very first match, especially after his little speech last week?!
Blackfront: I don’t think these fans would find that hilarious, Tommy! This is a giant test for Wingate. Murray is a tremendous athlete: he’s well-versed in almost every style you can think of, but specialises in power and puroresu! He’s as well-traveled as they come, and as experienced a pro as there is. This is a challenge Wingate would do well to compose himself…
Roberts: Aaaand his opponent! Hailing from Aberdeen, Scotland, he weighs in at 280lbs… AAAAANDYYYY MUUURRRRRAAAAAYYYYYYY!
Murray eventually reaches the ring after slapping hands with a few fans. He pulls the towel off his shoulders and unzips his bomber jacket, setting both down in the corner, but Wingate attacks before the bell! Charles clubs on Murray’s back, then boots him in the gut and sets him up in the corner. He attempts a choke as the bell rings, but Murray shoves him away with both hands.
Wingate charges at Murray but runs right into a forearm! Andy follows-up with one more, two more, then cracks the smaller man with a European Uppercut. Murray looks to slow things down from there, locking Wingate in a rear waistlock, then dumping him to the mat. Charles works his way up and reverses into an arm wrench, but Murray twists out, takes Charles’ arm, and goes behind with a rear wristlock.
Wingate throws a back elbow to get himself loose, then shoots for a double-leg takedown. Murray stuffs it, then cracks Wingate with an elbow on his way back up. Murray whips Wingate to the ropes, but Charles ducks the clothesline, then dropkicks the back of Murray’s knee on the return! He tries to capitalise by locking the big man’s leg up, but Murray fights out, then throws him in the corner and follows-up with a corner clothesline!
Blackfront: A fast-paced start, Tommy! Wingate is using every dirty trick in the book, just like why thought he would…
Ace: Ain’t working out too well for him at the moment, either!
Murray stings Wingate’s chest with a series of chops, then blasts him with a European Uppercut again. Wingate’s on the ropes, so Murray pulls him away, whips him, but Charles slips out of the ring! He doesn’t have time to recover, though: Andy sprints after him, smashes him with a lariat, then rolls him back inside!
Andy takes his opponent back to his feet. He chops his chest again, then hits a couple of forearms to the face, before putting him in the corner. Murray moves away then comes back with a running back elbow splash, and Wingate’s fazed! He stumbles out of the corner and right into a big Spinebuster.
Murray doesn’t go for the cover, though. Instead, he picks Wingate up, whips him against the ropes, then plants him with a reverse spin scoop Powerslam -- King’s Road!
NO! SHOULDER UP!
Ace: Goddamnit, Charlie, step your game up!
Blackfront: The debuting veteran is in complete control! Wingate has cunning, but it’s hard to argue with Murray’s power.
Clearly enjoying himself, Murray takes a few moments to soak-in the crowd’s reaction. He pulls Wingate to his feet, but Charles gouges the eyes! The referee doesn’t see it. Wingate hits him with an elbow that sends Murray stumbling away, so he launches into the back of his knee with a chop block!
Now downed, Murray gets pounced on by Wingate. Charles drops an elbow across the knee then stomps down on it a couple of times. He drops another elbow, and this time transitions to a basic kneelock. He wrenches tightly, but Murray’s getting too close to the ropes, so he switches position and locks him in a dangerous-looking Kneebar!
Andy fights and fights. He tries to boot out at Wingate, but it’s no use: his only option is to overpower the guy. Murray digs his elbows into the ground and drags himself backwards. It takes three agonised heaves before he’s able to make it to the ropes, and Wingate breaks at 4 ¾.
Ace: Damn, that was tight! I thought Wingate was gonna tap our debutant out!
Wingate continues to go to work on the knee, but Murray boots him away. Charles swarms him with clubbing blows as he rises, but Andy gets through them, then hits a couple of unanswered forearms! Charles comes back with a hard slap across the cheek, and that sets Murray off! He grabs Wingate by the collar and pushes him into the corner, unleashing a vicious flurry of elbows, before pulling him out and hoisting him onto his shoulders.
Blackfront: Here it comes! Highland Hangover!
Murray executes his trademark sitout side powerslam and goes into the cover!
Blackfront: Murray wins!
Ace: An impressive performer, Jason. He goes onto the next round, but we won’t be seeing Charles Wingate again!
As Murray’s name is read out, he rises to his feet and spends a few moments bowing, posing, and applauding the audience before eventually leaving. In the ring, Charles Wingate is just coming to his senses.
Blackfront: Uh oh, I think it’s just dawning on Wingate…
Ace: For the first time in history, there won’t be a Wingate in the UTA! This is a travesty!
Blackfront: You can blame Mikey Unlikely for that. He came up with these stipulations…
Ace: Blame Mikey?! Bah! Never!
When he realises, Wingate is disconsolate. He sits there with his head in his hands.
Ace: The family ain’t gonna be too happy with you, kid!
Blackfront: That’s for sure, but it’s a solid debut victory for Andy Murray! Let’s head elsewhere
I'm Still Hungry
The camera cuts to the backstage area immediately after lingering on Charles Wingate’s defeated self for a few extra seconds. We’re in the gorilla position, and Andy Murray parts the curtains to a few calls of congratulations from the gathered producers. He acknowledges them with a quick thumbs up, before grabbing a towel and a bottle of water and getting on his way.
The ever-intrepid Paul Stewart almost skips up to the victorious Scot, microphone in-hand.
Stewart: A few words following your victory?
Dabbing sweat from his brow, Murray stops in his tracks.
Paul sets himself up for the first Q.
Stewart: First of all, congratulations on your debut victory. How do you feel?
Murray: Good, man. It feels great to still have the opportunity to go out there and do this even after 23 years in the game, and even better to come away with the victory. Can’t say I’m too happy with the stipulation, but there’s little I can do about it.
Stewart: The stipulation, of course, means that Charles Wingate has been fired and for the first time in history there is no longer a Wingate in the UTA.
Murray: I hate that the kid had to lose his job, honestly. It’s a barbaric way to do business, but that’s what you get with Mikey Unlikely. We both knew the stakes going into it, though, and I didn’t come to the UTA to be one and done: I came to win, Paul, and that always comes at someone else’s expense. I don’t like that the stakes were so high for Wingate, but he’s a young kid with plenty of years ahead of him. He’ll make it back here someday.
The King cracks open his water bottle and takes a long, long chug, necking almost half of it.
Stewart: Now that you’ve made it past the first hurdle, how do you rate your chances of going all the way?
Murray: You trying to get me to say something stupid here, Paul?
Andy smiles, but he waves Stewart off before he can interject.
Murray: Kidding, kidding. I don’t like making promises I can’t keep, and I’m not in the business of guaranteeing victory when there are a bunch of talented guys who could easily take this tournament. What I will say is this, though: on my day, I firmly believe that I am still one of the very best wrestlers walking this Earth.
He pauses to dab more sweat away.
Murray: I’ve done more than most could ever dream of in my career, but I’m still hungry. It’s not my style to rest on my laurels, and it’s an honour and a privilege for me to have the opportunity to perform for all these people in 2016. Anyone who wants to knock me out of this tournament is going to have to try very, very hard indeed…
Stewart: Finally, Andy, this win confirms that you’ll face a UTA newcomer, “The Boss” Chris Ross in the next round. Ross’s brashness has caused quite the stir in UTA thus far, and I understand the two of you have already indulged in a couple of Twitter battle. What do you think of meeting “The Boss” in the next round?
Murray: I generally show respect for anyone who’s made it to this level, because anyone who gets to this stage usually deserves it. Pro-wrestling success doesn’t come free, and he might be relatively new to the game, but he must have something about him if he’s under UTA contract.
Murray: All that said, Chris Ross’ personality makes it very, very hard for me to respect Chris Ross. I’m pretty sure I heard this kid - this white kid - call himself the “Keystone State Killa” and use the word represent without a shred of irony the other week…
Andy laughs, shaking his head.
Murray: He’s just a cute little guy who doesn’t understand how this business works. Don't worry - I’ve got no problem showing Vanilla Ice how it’s done.
Stewart: Mr. Murray, thank you for your time.
Murray: My pleasure.
WrestleUTA Sink or Swim World TItle Tournament
John Sektor vs ??????
Blackfront: What a historic night of action we’ve had tonight here on Hulu. It seems Mikey Unlikely has set a ruthless tone for the UTAverse to get their heads around as we’ve officially entered his new era, right here in the UTA.
Ace: I can’t believe what we’ve all witnessed tonight. You can cut the tension in the arena with a knife. Either you progress in the UTA World Heavyweight tournament or your contract’s torn up! We've already seen Lew Smith, Marie Van Claudio, and Charles Wingate allllllll get the pink slip! This is insane!
The opening riffs of AC/DC's Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap begins to play over the PA system. After a few moments, the song begins.
♫ If you're havin' trouble with the high school head
He's givin' you the blues ♫
John Sektor comes out, heading down the ramp as the fans reach out, trying to touch him.
Roberts: Making his way to the ring now... From Miami, Florida..., standing at six foot, one inches tall, weighing in at 235 lbs.
Sektor heads up the steps, entering into the ring between the middle and top ropes.
Roberts: JOHN... SEEEKKTTTOOORRR!!!!
Blackfront: John Sektor looks pumped up and ready to go here, but who’s his opponent going to be in our final UTA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament match in this, the main event of the evening?
His music begins to fade.
Ace: I love the suspense, what a great idea this tournament has been. You know, I’m a big fan of Mikey Unlikely, Jason.
Blackfront: No? Really?!
Ace: But Sektor doesn’t deserve to be in this tournament? Hopefully whoever comes out to face him can kick his but on the way out of here for good!
The lights in the arena darken and suddenly a red carpet unfurls from the entrance way.
♫ “Blunt Blowin” by Lil Wayne ♫
Blackfront: What the hell is this? Mikey Unlikely v Sektor??!
Ace: Yes! Our fearless leader is going to show everybody how it’s done!
Mikey steps out onto stage and walks towards the top of the entrance ramp, suit jacket tied up covering a t-shirt underneath and raising his mic in front of his mouth.
Mikey Unlikely: Cut it, cut my sounds, don’t make me fire your ass sound guy, whoever you are!
The crowd boos as Mikey looks over with a smirk at the fans to his left, then to his right, before looking up at John Sektor standing in the middle of the ring and pointing his finger up at him.
Mikey Unlikely: Now John, I know you and I have never really seen eye to eye, after all, I was part of the team that put your team out of business, you’re jealous about my fame and fortune and the fact that I beat you for the UTA Heavyweight Championship, yada yada yada, essentially you’re jealous of the owner of the UTA!
Sektor is holds the top rope up and throws his left leg over the middle rope, begging Mikey to join him in the ring and get this match started. However, Mikey doesn’t move an inch and just grins back at him.
Mikey Unlikely: Now now, John, easy there. Unfortunately for you and the UTAverse, the Greatest Entertainer in The World is no longer a competitor...he’s the man in charge! And let me tell you something, being that man isn’t easy! See that fat guy gulping down that hot dog in the stands here? He couldn’t do my job. You certainly couldn’t do it John, you’re too emotional, look at you!
The shot fixes on Sektor who rests his arms on the top rope, shaking his head.
Mikey Unlikely: No, you see, I’m so powerful that I could fire your ass in front of all these people right now. But what would be the fun in that? Maybe, I should just get in that ring right here, right now and give you the beating of your life, pin you one, two, three...and fire you that way? You’d all love to see me get in the ring right now UTAverse wouldn’t you?!
The crowd erupts in cheers as John nods his head in anticipation of getting his hands on Mikey who begins towards the ring before stopping, smirking and wagging his index finger out in front of him for everyone to see.
Mikey Unlikely: But that’s the thing about responsibility John, you see someone around here has got to keep this place together. As much as I’d love to be biased and put myself in this match and kick your ass right now...as the owner of this company, I have to keep a level head on things around here.
Boos fill the arena. Mikey shrugs his shoulders, apparently disappointedly, before holding his finger up for a moment.
Mikey Unlikely: However, being the World’s Greatest Entertainer n’ all means that Mikey knows how to make this place a success without being biased! That’s right! Mikey knows what makes a main event. Mikey knows who you cretins all came to see tonight!
Slowly unbuttoning his suit jacket, Mikey reveals his t-shirt before holding the mic proudly in front of his mouth as the murmurs and grumbles in the arena pick up.
Blackfront: You have gotta be kidding me, unbiased? He’s wearing JFK’s merch!
Mikey Unlikely: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to give to you THE FUTURE of the UTA himself….JAY EFF KAAYYY!!! Jesse Fredericks…..KEEENNNNDDRRRIIIXXXX!
♫ “Let ‘Em Come” by Scroobius Pip ♫
The lights go out in the arena before flashing black and white fills the centre of the stage, immediately bringing Kendrix into view with his back facing the ring wearing the latest #HollywoodBruv t-shirt and trademark JFK green and gold ring tights with green boots.
Ace: YES! My prayers have been answered, Jason!
Roberts: And his opponent. Making his way to the ring, hailing from London, England. Weighing in at 218lbs..
As the track's marching style drumming picks up pace he rotates his neck twice to stretch it out before slicking his hair back with both hands. Returning his arms down back to his sides he ever so slightly turns his body over to the left. The camera zooms in up close as he tilts his head to peer over his left shoulder, sporting his Armani sponsored Bug Eye shades as well as a smug smirk on his face.
Joining Mikey Unlikely at the top of the ramp Kendrix goes in for a hug but Mikey remains professional, stopping him in his tracks, instead offering his hand out for a reciprocated firm handshake. Upon release of the handshake the two bump their fists, holding them together.
Mikey Unlikely & Kendrix: GLUEFIST!
The fans boo the former tag team with relentlessness.
Roberts: and being accompanied to the ring by the owner of the UTA, Mikey Unlikely….. This is…… KEEEEEENDRRRRIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX
The pair began to walk down the ramp towards the ring. Unlikely favoring his casted arm. He eyes up John Sektor nervously. JFK meanwhile hops onto the apron and into the ring without delay and immediately begins to pander to the crowd who greet him with boos.
Ace: Hey Jason, it looks like Mikey is grabbing a headset! Hi Mikey, are you joining us here at the commentary booth?!
Mikey Unlikely: Absolutely Tommy! You know I had to come chill with the best commentary team in the biz!
Ace: Haha Yes!
The referee asks both men if they are ready, Sektor nods but Kendrix gestures with the ref for a moment, as he searches around the top of his pants with his hand before retrieving it and brandishing the bird sign in the direction of his opponent. That derogatory gesture brings Sektor out of his corner and surging towards Kendrix. However, as the ref signals for the bell to ring, Kendrix drops to the mat and rolls out to apparent safety. Unfortunately for him, he’s on his heels right away as Sektor gives chase around the ring.
Kendrix slides in at the opposite side having just evaded the reach of Sektor, who slides in straight after only to be met by hard stomps to his back. Managing to climb somewhat vertically, with one knee still placed on the mat, JFK bounces off the ropes and throws a low drop kick to the back of his head.
Unlikely: YUS! Are you watching this Tommy? JFK is in complete control of this.
Ace: He sure is Mikey, Obvs!
Unlikely: Totally Obvs!
Blackfront: Dear God.
As JFK basked in the grumblings circling the arena he turns back to his opponent ready to refocus on the task at hand, unfortunately for him, his lack of concentration runs into an explosive spinebuster from Sektor, sending him down hard to the mat. Rather than take the time to appreciate his handy work as his opponent previously did, Sektor stays atop of JFK, grabs his head in one hand and begins to pummel hard rights down into his head.
Blackfront: Sektor finally gets his hands on the Hollywood Bruv, gaining some momentum here.
Unlikely: Hey, you don’t say that! Call the damn match as you see it Jason, a little professionalism please, stop being so biased! Sektor’s clearly using closed fists, that’s grounds for a DQ in Mikey’s book. Me and the ref are going to have some serious words after JFK beats Sektors ass!
Ace: Stop being so biased Jason, I’m sorry about him Mikey, he gets emotional sometimes.
Sektor pulls JFK to his feet and irish whips him to the ropes, Kendrix bounces back, ducks Sektors clothesline attempt through to the opposite ropes and back at Sektor who lifts Kendrix up high and over his head back first into the mat. JFK reaches for his back, a huge grimace on his face for all to see. Sektor doesn’t let him rest and grabs at Kendrix’s chin, pulling back with his knee resting uncomfortably on JFK’s back. Kendrix reaches at Sektors hands to no avail before managing to throw a kick to the front of the Gold Standard’s head, breaking the chin lock.
As Sektor stumbles back Kendrix makes a b-line for the ropes, jumping both feet first into the middle rope, back out towards Sektor, twisting his body round and clocking the side of his head with a mid air round-house kick and down, back on the mat. JFK looks to his left and then his right and charges at the ropes opposite, this time for the lionsault but Sektor has enough whereabouts to get his knees up into the Hollywood Bruv’s gut just in time, leaving JFK writhing in agony, his legs flailing like a petulant child on the mat. The ref begins his count.
Blackfront: Both men need to get up, what happens if both men get counted out Mikey? Do you have an answer for that?! Do they both get fired?!
Unlikely: Uh, errr....wait, I mean, I beg your pardon?! It’s Mr. Mikey to you Jason!
Ace: Will you stop asking Mr Mikey these stupid questions and focus on the match, Jason?! Both men are trying to get up!
Both Sektor and Kendrix clamber to their feet at the count of six. Sektor catches Kendrix with a staggered right hook before JFK responds in kind. The two slug it out, back and forth, back and forth but it’s Sektor who prevails, pushing Kendrix back a step with after each right hand. Kendrix attempts to throw a huge right hand but it’s telegraphed, The Gold Standard ducks under the attempt before wrapping his arms around JFK slamming him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex and hooking the leg for the cover;
Sektor takes a moment to look down at Kendrix, who’s reaching for his back again, before hooking his legs under his arm, arching them back hard in a seated Boston Crab. The ref is down stomach first facing Kendrix, who’s screaming in agony, asking him if he wants to quit. JFK’s arm is raised but he lays it back down flat on the mat, arching his torso up and manages to claw his way to the ropes and break the hold.
Mikey Unlikely: Oh thank god for that...I mean...thank god these two are tearing the house down right now! Am I right guys?!
Ace: Thanks so much for putting this match on Mr Mikey. You’re too good to us!
Sektor whips Kendrix into the turnbuckle and charges at him but JFK manages to get his legs up high meeting Sektor in the jaw. As John turns around Kendrix runs towards him, grabbing him by the back of his head and plants his face to the mat with a bulldog and instantly applies the Kendrix Kross dead in the centre of the ring!
Mikey Unlikely: That’s my bruv! Make him tap, dammit!
Blackfront: So much for not being biased.
Kendrix pulls back, begging the ref to ask Sektor if he gives up. The hand is raised high out in front of him and begins to lower and lower until it goes limp on the mat. The ref raises Sektors arm, expecting it to drop limp but at the last second he holds it above the ground and pulls his torso up, both hands planted firmly on the mat. Through sheer will and determination, he manages to make it to the ropes. Kendrix isn’t letting go though, the ref begins his count and at the very last moment, JFK releases the hold in clear frustration as he looks over at Mikey at the commentary booth, looking equally frustrated with his head in his hands.
As the ref checks on Sektor, Jesse rolls underneath the bottom rope to the floor and pulls a steel chair from the timekeeper’s area.
Mikey Unlikely: Woah woah, sorry guys, I’m going to have to leave you now. JFK’s my bruv but no one is using a steel chair to win a main event match on my show, how’s that for bias Jason?!
Making his way back into the ring he’s stopped in his tracks by the ref who implores him to get the chair out of the ring but Kendrix is arguing back at him. Seeing Sektor back to his feet, making his way towards them, JFK lifts the chair high above his head but the ref reaches up for it.
Blackfront: Wait a minute, what’s Mikey doing?!
Ace: He told you, he’s going to take the chair away from Kendrix!
While Kendrix and the ref struggled for control of the chair, Sektor was whipped around by Mikey who takes a step back to attempt a super kick but Sektor grabs his foot just in time, spins Mikey around and hooks his arms…
Ace: Wait, he’s the owner!!!!
Sektor squeezes Mikey’s arms and sinks his forearms in before looking at the crowd and screaming with all his might in unison with the crowd shouting “C-Sektion!”
But before he gets the chance to plant Mikey’s face down to the mat Kendrix chucks the chair out of the ring and spins The Gold Standard around, grabs the back of his head and brings his face down into his leaping knees and into one hell of a Bellend! The ref is down for the cover…
Blackfront: NO! John Sektor...is.... NO!
♫ “Let ‘Em Come” by Scroobius Pip ♫
Blackfront: Dammit, why do I get the impression that finish was planned Tommy?
Ace: What do you mean Jason? Mikey went to the ring to take the chair away from Kendrix, you heard him say that! Then that idiot Sektor couldn’t help himself and wanted to give him the C-Section! If he kept his eye on the ball then maybe he’d still have a job!
Mikey wags his finger at the ref and ushers him out of the ring before raising Kendrix’s hand high in victory and pointing at his bruv with the other hand to a chorus of boos around the arena.
Blackfront: Look at these two gloating. Kendrix moves onto the next round of the tournament alright but John Sektor has just lost his job!
The shot closes in on a seated, despondent and contemplative John Sektor. Inside the ring the Bruvs continue to celebrate. suddenly...
The opening to "Sabatage by the Beastie Boys" begins to play over the loadspeakers as the Wrestlezone explodes into cheers. Inside the ring, Mikey's attention is instantly switched from the celebration at hand to the ramp.
Blackfront: What!? Is that....?
Ace: Ohhhhh nooooo
Sure enough, onto the stage saunters a smiling Will "The Thrill" Haynes. He wears a dark pair of faded jeans, and a WrestleUTA T-shirt on. In his hand he carries a stack of papers.
Blackfront: Ohhhhh Yes! It's Will Haynes! The Thrill is back!
Ace: Didn't Mikey just get rid of this guy!? What's he doing here, there is no way Mikey let him in!
The fans are just now finally starting to come down some. When Mikey walks to the ropes and yells out "This is my company! You get the hell outta here!". Will smiles back at his former foe, and holds out the papers for all to see.
Blackfront: That's a UTA Contract! AND IT'S SIGNED! He must be the last signing that Ron Hall was talking about! This must be our guy!
Ace: Mikey do something!!!
The music never stops, Mikey looks on incrediously as Haynes waves as the scene fades away.
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