Title: Unique Horn
Featuring: Raging Dead
Date: 01/20/2020
Location: Zillion Dollar Theater
Show: Pandemonium VI

n a t h a n g u s t . l i v e j o u r n a l . c o m


Hello, world. Sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks. SCW is up and running… and has consumed my life. Sara and I are splitting our time between Ozone Park and Los Angeles. It's exhausting. If all goes to plan… we might make LA our new home. We're really enjoying not having winter out west. LA is also closer to Vegas… which makes it easier to work for FWF. I've got a long road to the top of that place… and it continues this week against Michael Byrd. 

That young man had an impressive outing at Make America Wrestle Again… albeit a loss to Shawn Kutter. I know what it's like to get hit by Kutter… so for Byrd to survive that match and come back for more… truly remarkable. This kid could very well be the future of FWF. He's got to keep his head up and learn from his losses. Kutter beat him at MAWA… but he didn't give up. This week at Pandemonium… he will definitely lose to me. I don't mean to say that in a hurtful way. That's coming much later. I mean to say it in a way that shows confidence in my position here in FWF. 

A recent poll at overwhelmingly has me perched at the top of contenders who will dethrone Lunchbox Larry. Do you know who is not listed? Michael Byrd. Well, unless you consider him as "Other" at which point he still has zero votes. Half of the fans see me as the one who will take down Lunchbox Larry. How can we not give the fans what they want? This is FANS Wrestling Federation after all. Michael Byrd, I mean no disrespect when I say that you don't stand a chance against me. I'm just giving the people what they want. 

Keep on living 24/7. 

I will keep on raging 25/8. 



Our adventure begins inside the home of Showtime Championship Wrestling, an extremely well funded upstart wrestling promotion which holds its third event tomorrow evening. Welcome to Zillion Dollar Theater in Los Angeles, California. The power couple responsible for putting it all together - Nathan and Sara - are seated front row, looking on as two men are working on the entrance stage. 

Nathan: It looks good. Major improvement from the last two weeks. 

Sara: In all the preparation for this… I can't believe we forgot the entrance. A black curtain with the logo was not enough. Now when we have Tex's money to play with. 

Nathan: His money has made our dream a reality. SCW was years in the making. Now we've got Jaime, Jason, MACKAID, Akoni… even Alexa. 

Sara: I'm still not sold on Alexa.

Nathan: Why not? She was one of my top students when she and Nick started out. 

Sara: She's my sister's husband's ex-wife. Before long, this will be a Jerry Springer situation. Mark my words. 

Nathan: She and Nick were married for like a year… when they were young and dumb. That was a lifetime ago. It'll be fine. How does Jane feel about having Alexa around?

Sara: She says everything is fine… but I know my sister. She's putting on a smile to keep the peace. 

Nathan: Well… if shit gets bad… we book Alexa versus Jane… and they settle it in the ring. 

Sara: Jane never trained a day in her life. 

Nathan: She's the daughter of Aj Nin Red Rum. Talent like his is genetic. 

Sara: Also she's pregnant.

Nathan: Oh… yeah… I forgot…

Sara: Nick is keeping the two apart as best he can on show days. He'll let us know if there's any trouble. 

Nathan: Good. I forgot that running a fed is more than just pencil and paper. We have to worry about so much that could go wrong. And since you're related to half the roster…

Out of his peripherals he sees Sparkles skipping towards them. She is one of the youngest recruits to SCW. Eighteen years old. She was trained primarily by Sara in 2018. Now, she stands before the power couple…

Sparkles: Sorry to interrupt. I just got my new shirt delivered… and I just had to show you. 

Sara: I like that shade of blue. Really pops. 

Nathan: Is that you riding a… unicorn?

Sparkles: Yup!

Nathan: It's not bad. It'll definitely stand out on the merch table. 

Sparkles: Hey, do you know how the unicorn got its name? Because it has… a unique… horn. 

Nathan: That's… something…

Sara: Will you have the shirts set up tomorrow night?

Sparkles: Sure will! If it's okay with you…

Sara: Absolutely. When you get in tomorrow, come find me and we'll go over your pretape. 

Sparkles: Okay! Byeeee!

She skips away and the scene… faaaaaades...


h a n d s U P d o n ' t S H O O T

TWO WINNERS?! There were TWO winners in a triple threat match?! What kind of [REDACTED] horseshit is that?! There was only ONE true winner… The Raging Dead!

The Raging Dead is what goes bump in the night. 

The Raging Dead is what's underneath your bed. 

The Raging Dead is the challenger that Lunchbox Larry needs. 

The Raging Dead is here in FWF… for better or worse. 

Two days from now… I will stand across the ring from a genetically perfect human being by the name of Michael Byrd. The kid was molded into a professional wrestler and has spent ten years roaming around, not making waves one way or another. Now he's here in FWF… wading in the kiddie pool… while I'm over here in the deep end. 

Michael Byrd… are you a good swimmer? If you even remotely stand a chance on Wednesday… you'll need to throw on some floaties and swim out to my battlefield. The water is ice cold and there are mines everywhere. 


Das ende. 

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