[ P O S T N E W E N T R Y ]
Sorry it's been so long since my last update. It's been a crazy week. Make America Great Again was an exhausting experience. I needed a few days to recharge the old noggin. Sara and I took Stephanie to Disneyworld. It was magical. Pun intended. Now it's time to get back to business.
2019 was a strange year. I only returned to the ring in September… and I managed to accumulate a record of nine wins, three losses, two draws. That's pretty impressive for a middle aged man who has several years of ring rust. Sure, I was semi-active the last two years… but nowhere near what I'm doing now.
Trinity to Action to FWF in 2019… with an appearance at Alpha Pro Wrestling to kick off 2020, two days before Pandemonium 5. It's been a hell of a ride. There's something else in the works… but that'll all be revealed in time. For now, my focus is on doing the best I can for the companies who employ me.
FWF has been great so far. They value my experience and what I bring to the table. They've treated me like a top guy, rather than just another face in the crowd. This company has been a pleasure to work for. 2020 is going to be a great year for all of us. I can just feel it.
The one I've been the most impressed with is Lunchbox Larry. The way he has organically connected with the fans is refreshing. He has not tried to force some basic, hokey routine on them. He genuinely is a good dude and deserves to be FWF World Champion. Hopefully I get another opportunity to work with him in the future.
If not, that's also okay. At this point in my career, I don't need to be the top guy anymore. I am content with just being a guy, especially one tasked with working with a younger generation and lending my knowledge wherever it is welcomed. Next week, I have a triple threat match with Shawn Kutter and Kentucky Tarzan. Both of them have made an impact on FWF… and will continue to do so in 2020.
I'll have more say on them when I release a promo later this week. It'll be good stuff. Probably. A lot is happening in FWF… and we're all along for the ride. FWF already made America wrestle again. Now we have to get them ready to enter the WrestleZone.
Today's adventure begins outside of the newly christened FWF Studios in Las Vegas. One of wrestling's strangest power couples approaches the entrance. That's right, folks. Nathan Gust and Sara Pettis. Nathan pulls on the door handle, nothing. Another door, nothing. Same process, same result.
Nathan: What the hell? The guy said he'd be here.
Sara: What guy?
Nathan: You know… the guy… from the office.
Sara: You don't remember his name?
Nathan: Yeah, I do. It was Bill or Mike or something.
Sara: We came all the way out here to take a tour of the new place, and you don't remember the guy's name. Typical.
She turns and starts walking away, and he quickly follows.
Nathan: I'll try to call him. Just a sec…
He searches in his phone for the right number… but...
Nathan: I don't see it. I thought I added him to my contacts. It said "FWF Guy Ryan."
Sara: I thought it was Bill… or Mike...
Nathan: … or something. Yeah, I'm not good with names sometimes. But hey, this trip wasn't a complete loss. That breakfast buffet was five star.
They start roaming down the street, looking for trouble.
Sara: ... and it was at a strip club.
Nathan: Everything in Vegas is a strip club. That's why we didn't stop at that McDonald's with no windows. I wonder if FWF Studios has a strip club...
Sara: They've got to pay off the building somehow.
Nathan: Running a weekly show in Vegas… plus the dojo… yeah, it'll be fine. Vegas is an easy draw for a wrestling promotion. Trinity Wrestling, Sin City Wrestling, Majestic Wrestling, Sin City Wrestling, Chaos Complex, Sin City Wrestling… now FWF.
Sara: Aren't you forgetting Sin City Wrestling?
Nathan: Probably. It's an all too common name out here. But it's always a draw. FWF will do good business out here. The locals like it because it's something different. The tourists like it because they like anything. Concessions are an easy buck. Gimmicks will fly. I had half a dozen new shirts designed and printed at a local shop for next to nothing.
Sara: Oh you're going to be one of THOSE heels. Do horrible things and then get them to buy your merch.
Nathan: Nahhh. Only one of the shirts has me on it. The others are generic wrestling shirts that'll sell to all the basement dwelling marks.
Sara: Smart move.
Nathan: Sometimes I have good ideas. Signing with FWF was one of them. I have freedom to work for Action… or wherever else. Remember when suits demanded exclusivity with contracts?
Sara: You were bound to [REDACTED] long after you stopped working there. It was miserable for all of us.
Nathan: Yep. That's all in the past now.
Sara: Past? They're still blowing up your phone, begging you to fix that shitshow. Don't do it.
Nathan: I won't.
Sara: You always say you won't… and then you do. Remember last summer and fall? You helped build the roster up… attendance was on the rise… ratings saved their asses from cancellation… then the usual suit bullshit happened and ruined all of the progress.
Nathan: My wife, the sailor...
Sara: I'm serious. They fucked you. [REDACTED] fucked you. Time and again. Don't. Go. Back.
Nathan: Reeeeelax. I won't go back. I've got enough on my plate with FWF, Action, Showtime...
Sara: That one hasn't been announced yet.
Sara: I know it's a lot… and I'm happy to be along for the ride. You've been following orders from your doctors… and I think actively wrestling has helped you.
Nathan: My brain isn't… great… but it's good right now. I wouldn't be able to do this without you.
Sara: Damn right.
They are interrupted by Z Mann Zilla's smashing hit single "Raging 25/8" coming from Nathan's cell phone.
Nathan: Hello? Oh, hey Danny, from FWF. … Oh, no problem, man. … Sara and I got are roaming around, looking for trouble. … Uh huh. … Yeah, we'll be right over. Thanks, man … Yup. Bye.
Sara: Danny, huh?
Nathan: Yeah, that counts as "or something." He was running late and forgot to call. Door is unlocked now.
They turn back around to head back to FWF Studios… aaaaaaand the scene fades…
My New Year's Wrestlution is to be FWF World Champion. Plain and simple. It will happen by any means necessary. Lunchbox Larry… is the champion… for now. He was lucky to not only escape Beaumont with the championship… but also with his life. Next time… his luck will run out and he'll be faced with fate. And yes… next time. There is nothing that can stop me from getting my hands on him… and yet… FWF is trying to stack the deck against the Whiteface Thriller.
Pandemonium 5… FWF Studios in Las Vegas, Nevada… Wednesday, January 8, 2020. It's a new direction for the new year… for FWF. For me… it's the same direction. You'll get more of the same from me as I take on Kentucky Tarzan and Shawn Kutter. On paper it's a standard triple threat. In reality… it's a feeble attempt to stack the deck against The Raging Dead and keep the FWF World Championship out of my cold, dead hands.
Two opponents… but only one I'm familiar with. First and foremost… happy birthday to Kentucky Tarzan. As we enter a new decade… you are now two decades old. My gift to you is mercy in the form of a request that you stay home next Wednesday. You know just how focused I am on being the best. After all… I taught you everything you know. For those of you at home who don't know… this wild child you call Kentucky Tarzan is my niece's nephew.
That makes me sold old as fudge when I say it out loud. In wrestling… I AM super old. I've been doing this for nearly thirty years. Tarzan on the other hand… is green as the day is long. He's got a bright future ahead of him… and I take personal interest in seeing him reach that future… but if he stands before me at Pandemonium 5… he may not reach that future. If this match were just him and Kutter… I would be quietly cheering him on. That's not the case here at all. As your next World Champion, FWF… I have to look out for what's best for everyone.
Kentucky Tarzan… buddy… kiddo… sport… I hope you have a joyous birthday. Take my words to heart… and do what's best for you next Wednesday. Call in sick. Take the free pace to evade my rage. Live life to the fullest. Then come back at Pandemonium 6 and kick some ass like I know you will. Or… the alternative… you follow through with the booking and I bite your hand off… and wear it as a necklace. Your choice, bucko.
The extreme contrast in this situation lies with Shawn Kutter. This is a man I know little about… who I feel no remorse in tearing apart cell by cell. He will not receive any offer of mercy… or any leniency in this match. He will fall victim to my ultimate rage, unleashed in Las Vegas in all its glory. What I do about Shawn Kutter… is that he's a survivor. He survived a rough life in Filthadelphia… and ended up doing five years in prison for… stealing a plate of nachos? Did I get that right?
Once he got out, he stumbled into some kind of underground boxing circuit before screwing it all up. Then one day he decided he was a pro wrestler. This is where I find the real problem. This guy is pretending to do something I've devoted my entire life to… and he is doing so without the training, the respect, or the dues we all had to endure. This doesn't sit well with me… and I'm not afraid to speak up about it. Sure… Kutter is big and he's bad… but he's not the Raging Dead.
He's here in FWF to make some money to pay back a huge debt. That's commendable. He's had a rough life and he's trying to turn it around. Unfortunately he's up against a REAL badass asskicker… not just a beefy street fighter who stumbled into a world where he doesn't belong. While I am not offering him the same mercy as Tarzan… I am offering him the opportunity to still get paid while also having his flesh made into a trench coat.
My New Year's Wrestlution is to be FWF World Champion.
Step one to achieve that goal is to pick up a definitive win at Pandemonium 5. Kentucky Tarzan… Shawn Kutter… I hope you both take my words to heart. I don't say anything for no reason… and I definitely don't do anything for no reason. You are both unfortunate victims of circumstance. This match is the win I need to remind FWF who their next World Champion is. This match is also a warning shot to Lunchbox Larry of the torment in store for him when next we meet.
Tarzan… Kutter… Larry… FWF… all your base are belong to Gust.
"I am not that dragon and you are not that warrior."
- Wondrous Mental Dragon