"Diary of a Stoner"
If you're someone trying to make it in this business, it's one of those things that will make or break your career no matter how much talent you have. Allen Iverson know's a thing about that. I mean we're talking about practice.
One thing that I know about practice is that it makes perfect. Training here at John's gym has been doing just that for me. Perfecting my form. My skill. My drive.
I sparred with some high profile training staff that John has working at the facility. Making sure sure every inch of my game is ready is at that elite level for MAWA. Both Jace Wheeler and Raging Dead have a long history in wrestling and when you're 26 , you have to work hard to play with the experienced guys.
I might be the so-called "new booty" compared to Dead and Wheeler but that only plays into my favor so much more. I mean, these two aren't the most epic of the experienced guys out there. Dead has his split personality and biting problem and Jace... well he has a weird perfect squidward face and does kettle bells.
I don't know if these guys are taking this thing as seriously as me but they better. Christmas is almost here and I'm ready to give my two oddly naughty friends a big lump of coal for the holidays. It is the giving season after all.
It sucks that I have to ruin Christmas for these guys but my goals are more important than their hope. Looks like I'm going to have to be the hero version of Krampus this year to get my gift.
That #1 spot in this company will be mine in honor of every Christmas I sacrificed in the ring all around different federations grinding for my chance at being the most respected man in the locker room with the prize that everyone wants.
I've spent so much time training for this very moment and we're almost here. Whoever wins between Jace and Raging Dead doesn't even matter in my world. I'm just here to celebrate Christmas MY way. Giving out ass whoopin's and receiving my dream...
...becoming World Champion.
Kenneth Williams sits in his smoke filled apartment as the camera records but he is barely visible being cloaked my marijuana smoke.
KW: "So let's get this started gentlemen. Let's not waste any time. I've been watching tons of past matches and promos from both of my opponents and the only way I could keep myself alive was to smoke a shit ton of pot. Like a lot of weed."
A ember of light appears signifying our hero is adding more exotic kush smoke into the already engulfed room.
KW: "But i will give both their due. They are both formidable opponents who will indeed give a damn about puttin' on a show. The only question right now in my mind is which one the two am I goin' to face in the Finals of this tournament to seal the deal and stamp this federation officially."
"In one corner, we have Jace Wheeler. What can be said about the Pavel Tsatsouline of FWF? Well for starters...
...BOY!!! WHAT ARE THOSE!!!!!!!!??"
"Seriously! Do you dress yourself my friend? Those pants have to be the biggest 'Ohh hell nawww' ring tights I've ever seen. Those included with your perfect Squidward face match the same look of the The Village People. I see why you really joined wrestlin'. But all jokes aside I don't see anything special that really takes you any further than your match with Ragin' Dead."
Another ember of light shows itself as clouds of smoke dance off each other.
KW: I'll elaborate on that for you too. Without Buddy Showtime Jace wouldn't even be in this tourney still. Things like that really get under my skin. I can deal with good old mind tricks and whatever but not bein' able to fight your own battles urks the hell out my nerves. It will show in the end though where you truly belong. I hope Ragin' Dead bites your fingers off. No more kettle bells for you mister mid-age hipster."
"Just be real with yourself Jace. You're a scumbag. Kentucky had you beat and you had your friend help to advance. It's people like you that really need their asses kicked to learn about life and morals and shit. If by any means you do beat Mr. Chomp Chomp Ragin' Dead, I hope to be the guy who do that ass kickin' for you. Either way, this is your final stop on this ride, Jace."
"Look on the brighter side of things though. Even though you had to cheat your way here, you made it. But enjoy these nice 15 minutes of fame. Because a guy with a ego like you will let it all slip through his fingers. At least you'll still have your cheesy podcast."
Kenneth's outline can be seen shifting around as the ember of light shines and darkens again.
KW: "In the opposing corner we have my winner of crazy of the year, Ragin' Dead. So basically you're Kevin Crumb from Split?Or is it Patricia now? Whoever you choose to be, just know they won't be a champion. I know you have a wrestlin' dynasty family circle goin' or whatever it is but you got some issues to work out before you think you're goin' to win that strap over me."
"You might just get the best of "Mr. YMCA" Jace Wheeler, but not me. Unlike the man with the cat yarn tights you're about to do battle with I never let anything come in between me and my goals and aspirations. I want this. This isn't whatever pissin' competition you and your wife have. What feelin' I have for this company and for that title is pure. It's different with you sir. I don't know Nathan Gust but I damned sure know Ragin' Dead and he is a monster who will do anything to win. But I'll be sure to be the hero in the story who puts and end to whatever type of chaos you think you'll deliver."
"I mean it's Story 101, Dead. Bad guy thinks he can win but the hero kicks his ass. The end. It's really that simple if you look at it through my lenses. I'm not here to downplay your past achievements because you did that already. Good job. But we're in the now my teethy friend and I'm the real writer of this new story no matter what plans you may think you have."
"Sara Pettis won't be in that ring to help you and you're already agin' up nicely my friend. So all that talk you like to do means nothin' to me. I live for this moment and trust me I'm not Jace Wheeler. I will be ready for whatever you think you can throw at me. I'm the real "golden boy" of this federation while you're just some crazy psychopath in a mask who thinks you really have a shot at bein' the World Champion. You have problems with clouds of negative energy surroundin' your mental and I just can't see someone who doesn't even know his true self as a champion no matter how much skill you have."
His outline can be seen standing up as his intensity grows.
KW: "So let's do it. We know it's goin' to be us in the finals. Let's start off the detonator that'll probably shake this company when we lock up in the ring because I can already see feuds to come with you after I kick your sorry ass and claim the title that was made for people like me. Not just to be FWF's World Champion. To be the People's Champion against maniacs such as yourself."
"So when this explosion happens in the ring just know that when the smoke clears..."
He steps closer to the camera revealing his himself from the smoke.
KW: "...I will be the one who walks out. This your friendly neighborhood stoner signin' off.
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead