n a t h a n g u s t . l i v e j o u r n a l . c o m

[POST NEW ENTRY]

For those of you keeping track at home… CCWA&ICE Friday Fandemonium was an overwhelming success. We packed in 325 fans… with roughly 200 available chairs for ‘em to sit on. Those standing didn’t seem to mind… because they got a hot night of action packed action. The night kicked off with a Battle Royale With Cheese between current CCWA&ICE students. The cheese stipulation is that the winner got paid. Sixteen students between two classes competed, while the newest class worked security. The winner of the match was Stitches. I don't remember his work name… or even his shoot name. I call him Stitches because he busted his lip his first time in the ring. It was awful… but he got a cool nickname out of it. 

Next up was a match between two of the best cruiserweights I ever trained who never made it big. Mike Flair was one of my first students, and he did okay in SFT in 2002. He retired pretty young from lingering injuries… but he always answers when I call to do stuff like Friday Fandemonium. Anyway… he was up against Norman J. Lukas… who is a much better attorney than he is a wrestler. Norm was super over with the fans. Probably because they hated Mike. Good, short match. Norm over with a diving headbutt. 

Next up… two beefcakes battled when Jason Christopher took on OutbreaK. Both were in the same class as Mike Flair. Jason made a name for himself in Canadian Football League… while OutbreaK did okay in wrestling and great in powerlifting competitions. Their match was… decent. Just power guys doing power guy stuff. OutbreaK won with a yyyuuuuuuuuge spear. Pert near cut 'im in half. 

Next up was a tag team clusterfuck. Legion and Doom took on Team MACKAID. Before it could get going, my brothers-in-law Ricky and Chris got added… much to the delight of the fans. Those goofballs put on a hell of a match. All three teams did. It wasn't big on traditional tag rules… but it was fun to watch. MACKAID won with a pop-up powerbomb to Legion from Mack, followed by a springboard 450 from Kincaid. From there… we had a brief intermission so the boys could sell their merch. 

Ten minutes turned into twenty… as usual… but they sold a shitload of merch… so it was fine. We came back from intermission with Deathstar taking on Sara in what my absolute bias dictates was match of the night. They went close to twenty minutes before she hit the Ice Pick Piledriver for the W. I always knew Sara was great… possibly the best of all time… but for her to take years off… and come back just as good… wow. Truly impressive. Also, Deathstar proved Sara wrong by keeping up with her and doing cool shit without weapons. Kudos to both of them for stealing the show. 

Next up… another hoss fight as Apokalypse took on Jaime Reyes. Apok is Kevin, Sara's step brother. Long story there. Really messy situation. Kevin was trained by his dad, before I took over the academy. He was big in Japan for a while, also because he's six-foot-eight. Jaime is the heaviest and quickest luchadore on the planet. Pound for pound there's nobody more talented or versatile in that ring. Those boys did some incredible things in that ring and Jaime went over with a death valley driver to Apok. Then… all hell broke loose…

As Jaime celebrated, he was jumped by Legion and Doom… as well as Deathstar. Ricky, Chris and Sara made the save and… you guessed it… the match turned into an eight man tag match. Too much crazy shit to call. Everyone hit big moves and it was down to Sara and Deathstar. As she went for another Ice Pick Piledriver… his partners slithered in and stopped her. There was a four on one beat down… until the lights went out. The fans in attendance roared… and the lights came back to reveal someone truly surprising. 

No, it wasn't me. 

It was Aj Nin Red Rum. 

Yes, multi time World Champion. Father of Chris, Ricky and Kevin. Step father of Sara. My original trainer. The fans went apeshit as Aj Nin and Sara cleaned house. Aj Nin hit Darkness Falls on his son Kevin… while Sara wrecked Deathstar with an Ice Pick Piledriver. The referee… Trapson, already drunk, as expected… counted the fall as Sara pinned Deathstar. Ricky, Chris and Jaime returned to the ring to celebrate… and the fans went home happy. 

All in all… Friday Fandemonium was a success. I think we will host events more regularly in 2020. It would be cool to use some of our FWF contacts to bring in some of those guys. And with FWF permanently moving to Las Vegas soon… anything is possible...

[POST TO NATHANGUST]

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g u s t c o m p o u n d / o z o n e p a r k , n e w y o r k

Today of all days… Kevin Schorg, step brother of Sara Pettis… has decided to grace his relatives with his presence. He's sitting at the dining room table eating them out of house and home when the owners of the home enter. 

Nathan: Please, Kev… make yourself at home. 

Kevin: Don't mind if I do. 

Sara: What brings you by?

Kevin: Can't a guy drop by to visit his favorite sister?

Sara: I thought Jane was your favorite.

Kevin: Potato, tomato. 

Nathan: Did Julie kick you out again?

Kevin: Well…

Sara: Again?! Get your shit together already. 

Kevin: We wanted different things. She wanted to finish college… and I wanted to sleep with other women. 

Sara punches Kevin so hard in the shoulder that he nearly falls off of his chair. 

Kevin: What the hell, sis?!

Nathan: Nice one!

Sara: Let me guess. You need a place to crash. 

Kevin: Just until December 26th. I fly out that morning to Tokyo. I'll be there six months. 

Nathan: That's great, man. Your dad must be proud. 

Kevin: I haven't told him yet. You know how he gets about Japan. 

Nathan: Ohhhhh yeah. Because your birth interfered with what would've been his first tour there. I doubt he still cares about that. He's been there plenty of times since then. 

Kevin: You'd be surprised what that old man holds onto. 

Chris and Ricky walk up the basement stairs and into the dining room just in time. 

Chris: What old man?

Kevin: Dad. 

Ricky: Oh. Japan, right?

Chris: He brought it up again on Monday when he saw the latest Apok shirt I had on. 

Kevin: See what I mean, sis?

Sara: Speaking of "sis," has anyone heard from Jane? She was supposed to come to town with Nick, but he came to the show alone. 

Their sister Jane is married to Nick Kincaid, tag team partner of Mack Davidson. Everyone is related in some weird way. It's a lot to follow. Let's fast forward to everyone seated around the living room. Nathan, Sara, Kevin, Ricky, Chris, Stephanie… and then the front door opens. In walk Mack, Nick… and a very pregnant Jane. The family is overjoyed and they rush over to offer congratulations. 

Sara: How far are you… six, seven months?!

Jane: Seven. He's due end of February. 

Sara: Why is this the first we're hearing this great news?

Jane: Life has been crazy out in LA. We didn't want to tell you all on the phone or on Facebook. 

Kevin: What about dad?

Nick: We just saw him at Sunoco. Not exactly how we planned it. He said he'll be over in a bit. 

Sara: This is amazing. I'm so happy for you guys. I know how hard it was to get there. 

Mack: PCOS is a bitch. 

Jane: Yes, it is. Thanks, Mack. 

Mack: Yup. Got any food?

Kevin: Follow me, big guy. 

Kevin and Mack leave the room in search of sustenance. 

Jane: I wish we could get together more than once a year. 

Sara: Well, if all goes well… Vegas will be a second home for us. That's not too far, right?

Jane: Five hour drive. Hour flight if we take the company jet. 

Nathan: Company jet?!

Nick: Yeah. The agency uses it for high profile clients. If were to sign someone like… oh… The Raging Dead…

Nathan: Go on…

Sara: Business talk after dinner. Okay?

Nathan: Okay. We've got a lot to talk about. Like our trip to Nowhere, Texas on Christmas. 

Sara: Beamont. 

Nathan: Same thing. 

Ricky: Uhhh… guys… we should get in there before the heavyweights eat all the food…

Chris and Ricky scurry into the dining room. The rest laugh and join the family. All we see now is an empty living room… until the front door opens and in comes Will Schorg, known to the world as Aj Nin Red Rum. He sets down a large red bag of presents and then joins his family for dinner… and the scene fades...

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h a n d s u p / d o n ' t s h o o t

Make America Wrestle Again 2019. Beaumont Civic Center in Beaumont, Texas. Wednesday December 25, 2019. Four men enter with hopes and aspirations of becoming the first ever Fans Wrestling Federation World Champion. Raging Dead. Jace Wheeler. Lunchbox Larry. Kenneth Williams. The four biggest names in FWF and only one of us walks away with it all. I think by now you know which one it will be. 

If not… let me remind you just who the fudge I am. Fudge? Really, Erik? This spit again?! Okay, whatever. Christmas Day… Jace isn't the only one who has to worry about me. They should all fear the Raging Dead. Those three… and the rest of FWF. You're all on notice. I will not rest until I have disposed of each and every single one of you. Think of every week as an ongoing Wild Card Rumble. You never know when I'm going to sneak in and eliminate you. 

First and foremost… Make America Wrestle Again. All three of them have height and weight advantage over me… but I've proven for decades that size doesn't matter in this business. My experience and knowledge is far reaching… beyond what the other semi-finalists have ever been faced with. I have my sights set on all three men… but do they have the same focus? Unlikely. They're probably worried about getting their spit in, popping the crowd, popping the boys in the back. None of them are concerned about winning. That's what ultimately separates us. I'm a winner… and they're all losers. 

Nobody gives a fudge about the uppity spithole Williamsburg. Nobody gives a fudge about your certification as a kettlebell instructor. Nobody gives a fudge about your workout playlist. Nobody cares about the stupid podcasts you frequent. Nobody cares about your filthy basement doodled tattoos. Nobody cares about your stupid thumpity thump clubrat entrance music. Those things are inconsequential to a potential FWF World Champion. You, Jace Wheeler… are NOT going to walk out of Make America Wrestle Again as FWF World Champion. I will do everything in my power to ensure that you don't walk out at all.

In case you haven't noticed… I'm a bad guy… out here doing bad guy stuff. I say hurtful things… and then I do hurtful things. I am the kind of guy you don't want as the face of your company… and yet… I already am the face of FWF. Imagine that. The guy who blasted his way into the tournament is the one most likely to win it all. The dirtsheets all agree. The polls all agree. I'm the guy who will lead this company as World Champion into a prosperous 2020. If Rumor Man Stan is to be trusted… FWF will soon make Las Vegas its home. I have already dominated Trinity, Majestic, Chaos… and countless other companies based out of Las Vegas. FWF will be no different. 

Before we even make it to 2020… FWF has to survive the mayhem I will unleash on Christmas in Beaumont. After I dispose of Jace Wheeler… I will do unspeakably terrible things to Lunchbox Larry or Kenneth Williams. It doesn't make a difference to me who it is. Lunchbox Larry is a tall drink of water, heavy as the day is long. He's the youngest dog in the fight… but I won't dare take his inexperience for granted. He has already defeated Stalker and Chad Chaos to make it to the semi-finals… so I can't even say he doesn't deserve to be here. But really… he beat two nobodies to get here… so his quest has not been too impressive. 

Kenneth Williams has had a more difficult journey to the semi-finals. He recently made a big return to wrestling and has defeated Harry Black and Erick Gamble to claim his place at Make America Wrestle Again. The Human Highlight Reel has done well for himself… and his health is good. It would be in his best interest to throw the fight with Lunchbox so he doesn't have to dance with me in the finals. Unfortunately… he's too high all the time to think clearly… so he won't be taking my advice. If he finds a way to make it to the finals… I'm going to damage his brain more than drugs ever could. Luckily he lives four hours from Beaumont… so the commute back home won't be as painstaking as a possible match against me. 

I have talked a LOT of spit about Jace Wheeler… Lunchbox Larry… and Kenneth Williams. I have proclaimed myself the face of FWF. I have declared irrefutably that I will be the first ever FWF World Champion. What else am I forgetting? All your base are belong to Gust… Rage 25/8… uhh… fudge. Whatever it is I'm forgetting… use your imagination. 

Das ende. 
 

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