Pandemonium 2 on Fite.tv
(Two weeks ago)
The sweet smell of sweat and marijuana immerses the air as fists and hands are raised as fans witness the birth of a new era unfold before them. Two men in the squared circle put their bodies through the sports' vicious acts just for a chance for glory and honor as the fans send off waves of electricity out with every cheer and scream. With over nine thousand people in attendance, our stoner hero is clutching onto fumes with a limp leg as he brings himself up using the ropes with only the crowd feeding his energy as Gamble lays motionless on the ground. He looks at the turnbuckle and knows what he has to do to put this thing to an end.
The fans and the commentators must think Kenneth Williams is a dumbass for even attempting such a thought... and they may be right. But, in the game of risk-taking, there's always that chance you might just get it. Tonight was a time of chance as Ken leaps off the turnbuckle and hits an elegant 450-degree splash on Erik Gamble leaving everyone in the arena with what Kenny calls the "O" face. He gets the pin and the ref calls for the bell as the fans shower Ken with cheers after a clear 5-star match.
Limping out of the ring, our hero celebrates with some fans as he makes his way out. He looks back out into the ring and closes his eyes taking it all in. The fans, the climb to the top, the feeling of shocking everyone, that feeling of giving the people what they paid to see. He was back like he never left the game and he knows it.
It was time to prove to everyone he means business.
"Where in the hell is he at?"
Leaning back in his cheap motel bed, Kenneth pulls a joint from behind his ear, lights it and takes a pull. He stretches his leg a bit as he puffs more medicine trying to ease the pain. The FWF medical department was clear on resting that leg until his next match and making sure he was taking good pain medicine. It was obvious he was going to choose good old mary jane instead. The power of marijuana has a great healing effect on our and he makes sure he smokes the stickiest of the ickiest. A man in an Armani suit walks in suddenly rubbing his dirty blonde hair from his face as he closes the door.
"Ever hear of knockin'! Damn John" Kenny scowls as he jumps attempting to hide his joint at first reaction. His former manager and mentor, John Green, walks over and plops down on the bed. "Well, you gave me the address..." John replies. "... I'm just making myself at home like I always do. Nice spot by the way."
Kenneth ignores John and begins to hit his joint and lets out some coughs. "So, you called me over here. What's up?" John asks.
Ken passes his mentor the joint and slides out of the bed."So I heard you were in town and I wanted you to check out the FWF. See if you wanna dust off those old boots and get back in the game." John takes a drag and ponders on that thought as he exhales a cloud of smoke. "I'm just sayin' John. You are a former World Champ. You'd come in and do work. Plus we never got our project off the ground last time you were managin' me. And I know how much you wanted to do that." John passes the joint back and smiles.
"I'll tell you what. If you win this upcoming match maybe we'll talk about me stepping back in the game." John shoots. "Trust me, John. I've got this Harry Black motherfucker on my radar. He may be a food guzzlin' asshole but he's got some talent to play around with." Ken says. "What about the project?" he asks.
"The project will live as long as you do it. I'm game whenever you're down." John says. Kenny lets out a laugh as he relights the joint. "But... we need some good dudes. I don't want any no-talent hacks with this. I need it to be something fresh and new for professional wrestling." John shoots back at him. "Now in the meantime, I got my camera in the car so I hope you know something about this Harry Black guy," John says.
"Just get the camera yo. Harry Black won't be a problem at all. He'll be too busy stuffin' his face to be concerned about the match. When he sees this shoot he'll see I ain't the run of the mill here." John proceeds out the door as Kenny tries to make the room at least somewhat presentable for a shoddy motel room.
Harry Black. While I'm not too familiar with you I know what I need to know about in this circumstance.
I get it. This company is new and you think that just usin' it for its resources will help whatever problem it is you're havin' in life. Wrong answer buddy. All that gets you is a bigger hole you're diggin' yourself into and a foot in your ass into that hole which I'll help deliver to convey that message. I'm a funny and sarcastic guy but this company means so much more than a plate and half-assed performances.
People pay money to see crazy mofos like us put on a show of a lifetime and it inspires them in so many ways imaginable that you wouldn't believe. While you may not see that, I do and that's why I'll be hittin' your greedy ass with the Lights Out! and advancing on to do what I was intended to do and that's to claim the World title strap and to be the People's Champion that they so rightly deserve.
So before you think about this federation as an easy come up to fill your belly, I want you to think about hungry motherfuckers like me ready to do whatever it takes to get my desire filled as well. And my hunger isn't for food Black. It's for the spotlight and you better bet your sweet ass that I'm goin' to be the spotlight in this company and it all starts with me sweeping your ass out of this tourney.
You may think with my leg you'll have the upper hand. Don't worry Erick thought that too.
So be my guest walk into this with that I don't care attitude and think you got it all won cause I'm so ready to rearrange that. Because when you see me with that belt after MAWA, you'll get the hunger for the spotlight you oh so desperately need. But...
...tt will be too late. All thanks to your friendly neighborhood stoner. It's never too late to get rejuvenated. I learned that lesson last week and lots of times in my career. It's why I'm goin' so far to this day. Think about that Black. But until then...
...This is your friendly neighborhood stoner signin' off!
"TED CRUZ IS THE ZODIAC KILLER"
- Kentucky Tarzan