"The Future is Now"
This week the show doesn’t open across the fans and their signs. It doesn’t begin with a ‘two weeks ago’ segment. It doesn’t begin with us staring at the commentary team as usual. No.
The scene opens to the fans booing loudly. WrestleUTA owner Mikey Unlikely stands in the middle of the ring, no music, no ridiculousness, no lights, no hoopla. He stands in a fine suit, with the microphone in hand. He smiles and brings the microphone to his lips.
Unlikely: Ladies and Gentlemen, all the way back in October, I, Michael Unlikely purchased WrestleUTA. On that day, I promised myself and I promised every fan in the Wrestlezone that they would never again watch an inferior product. I promised to bring the brightest and the best in the business to you live every two weeks on Hulu! I promised to give you the best wrestling in the world. Some three months later, I would like to say… I fulfilled that promise!
The fans boo loudly in response to Mikey and his bullshit.
Unlikely: So without further adieu, Please allow me to announce that the future is now! MEN, WOMEN, CHILDREN…. YOUR WRESTLEUTA WORLD CHAMPION AND MY BEST FRIEND!
The boos begin again as the theme song hits.
Unlikely: JESSE FREDRICKS KENDRIX!
â™« “Let ‘Em Come” by Scroobius Pip â™« hits the PA System.
The lights go out in the arena before flashing black and white fills the centre of the stage, Mikey’s red carpet unfurls from the entrance way, immediately bringing Kendrix into view, wearing a tailor made navy blue suit, his hair tied back in a top knot with his back facing the ring.
Ace: HERE HE IS, OUR NEW CHAMPION IS HERE, JASON!
Blackfront: Ladies and Gentlemen, he certainly is. Jesse Fredericks Kendrix took advantage of a less than 100 percent Andy Murray during the Wrestle UTA Sink or Swim World Title Tournament Final.
Ace: Less than 100 percent? He beat Murray fair and square in my book. Stand up and clap for your champion, Jason!
As the track's marching style drumming picks up pace he rotates his neck twice to stretch it out before slicking his hair back with both hands. Returning his arms down back to his sides he ever so slightly turns his body over to the left. The camera zooms in up close as he tilts his head to peer over his left shoulder, sporting his Armani sponsored Bug Eye shades as well as a smug smirk on his face.
Blackfront: Still with those glasses? Even now?!
As Kendrix turns, fully facing the ring he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, holds the right side out wide, followed by the left side to proudly reveal the WrestleUTA Title around his waist to the seemingly less than impressed fans in the Wrestlezone. However, the boos are soon drowned out by an eruption of red, white and blue fireworks from the stage, confetti falling upon the whole arena from the roof, all the while, JFK makes his cocky stride down to the ring along a red carpet.
Ace: Look at this Jason, Mikey hasn’t held back on the Mikey Money for this entrance.
Blackfront: I wonder if he’d do this for anyone else? Look at these two pointing at each other like a couple of dweebs!
Ace: Dweebs?! That’s the owner and our champ!
Having made his way He poses towards the fans, making sure they all see the big belt underneath the suit jacket. He hops down and comes back to the middle of the ring, meeting Mikey eye to eye. The Hollywood Bruvs share a few inaudible words with each other before partaking in a respectful and professional hand shake you’d expect from leading employee and man who pays his wages. The two hold their shake and pose for the official WrestleUTA photographers. However, as soon as the handshake photo is completed and the photographers make their way out of the ring, Jesse and Mikey embrace in a hug of bruvtastic proportions!
Blackfront: Really professional. These two are unbelievable!
Ace: You do know you can be colleagues and bruvs, don’t you?
Blackfront: Right now, I’m finding it really hard to believe in that concept.
Ace: What do you mean?!
Mikey applauds the champ as Kendrix returns to the centre of the ring having grabbed a mic. Flicking confetti off his shoulders he turns to Mikey, the mic just picking up what he’s saying;
Kendrix: How’s the hair look, is there confetti in JFK’s hair?
Mikey has a quick check before giving Kendrix the thumbs up and the all clear. Jesse wipes the back of his hand across his forehead in mock relief, before raising the mic to his mouth, ready to address his audience.
He turns to Mikey, with his shoulders hunched, as if not sure why the fans are booing. Mikey brings his own mic to his lips.
Unlikely: Hey! YOU DON’T BOO LIKE THAT! Show YOUR champion some damn respect!
The fans get even louder now. Unlikely rolls his eyes and looks to his Bruv who rolls his eyes back and dismissively shakes his head. As the boos subside, he brings the mic back up to his mouth.
Kendrix: Listen, Yeah?!
Jesse proudly laughs off the expected reaction to his opening line while Mikey continues to applaud. Taking a look down at the title around his waist, Kendrix acknowledging nods prior to getting back to the task at hand.
Kendrix: HAPPY NEW YEAR, BELLENDS!
Before the boos can hit their usual heights, Jesse stops them quick, holding two fingers, rudely up at them.
Kendrix: Two years! It’s a fact. For two years, YOUR...WrestleUTA champion has successfully held this title!
Kendrix: It’s true, JFK deservedly won this title, that he wears around his sexy waist, aaaalllllllll the waaaaayyy back in 2016!
Ace: Haha, wow, Jason. Two whole years, that’s impressive!
Blackfront: He won that two weeks ago, Tommy. Don’t be an ass!
Mikey holds up two fingers unbelievably!
Kendrix: Take that how you want to, bellends, but it’s a fact! You know what else is a fact? JFK is the longest reigning WrestleUTA champion of the new era.
He points over at Mikey who throws his hands down at Jesse, asking him to stop it, apparently embarrassed at the adulation.
Kendrix: But hey, this isn’t going to be one of those arrogant rant acceptance speaches like you’ve seen from every second rate champion you had before Mikey took over. Oh no. JFK is a humble, respectful and thankful man. That’s right, JFK has a LOT of people that he would personally like to thank for helping him to become the great, sexy man that he is today!
The camera shoots straight to Mikey, rubbing his hands together expectantly.
Blackfront: I can think that man right there is high on that list.
Focussing back on the Champion, Jesse removes a piece of paper from his inside jacket pocket. Removing his bug eye shades, he places them in the pocket and unwraps the tiny, tiny piece of paper. Exaggeratingly clearing his throat for dramatic effect, he squints at the paper and begins to read from it.
Kendrix: First of all, God, My Parents, Family and Friends....none of you will be thanked!
He undoes the second button from the top of his shirt, pulling at his collar, looking out at Mikey.
Kendrix: This acceptance speech stuff is hard work, bruv. This must be what an acceptance speech at The Oscars feels like, so many people’s names to remember.
Mikey nods his head in agreement as Kendrix focuses back on his tiny piece of paper.
Blackfront: And how will Mikey know what giving an Oscar acceptance speech feels like?
Ace: Didn’t the Back to the Future remake win an Oscar? That’s outrageous!
Kendrix: La Flama Blanca, Sean Jackson, Perfection and last but, not least of JFK’s Dynasty brothers...Claude.
He winks into the ringside cameraman’s lens amidst a divided reception amongst the crowd.
Kendrix: None of you, will be thanked!
He smirks at the lens before a full blown grin is etched across his face as he waves at the camera. He then points out at each end of the arena.
Kendrix: You, every single one of you, The fantastic UTAverse!
For the first time this evening the crowd responds positively.
Kendrix: For your tremendous support and well wishes throughout my career...none of you, will be thanked!
Blackfront: This man is one hell of an ingrate.
Kendrix: My Bestest Bruv in the whole world...Mikey Unlikely!
Mikey’s eyes shift, a worried look on the owner’s face appears as Kendrix approaches him.
Ace: Oh no! He’s not gonna thank Mikey?
Kendrix: From the bottom of JFK’s heart...you...will be thanked! THANK YOU MIKEY! C’mon everyone, you know the words!
Fuck You Mikey!
Clap, Clap, Clap Clap Clap
Fuck You Mikey!
Clap, Clap, Clap Clap Clap
Mikey’s face lights up in excitement as he points back at himself.
Mikey Unlikely: Really? Me?!
Jesse nods as the two pump their fists together.
Mikey Unlikely and Kendrix: GLUEFIST!!!
Ace: He thanked Mikey, Jason, can you believe it?!
Blackfront: Of Course I can! Mikey got Kendrix through two of the tournament matches. He’s probably the only name on that tiny list of people he has to thank!
Returning to the centre of the ring Kendrix focuses intently;
Kendrix: And last but not least, on this exhaustive list of people JFK has to thank...he’d like to thank you, Andy Murray!
The crowd pops big time for The King.
Kendrix: Stop your murmuring, bellends. Like JFK said, he’s a humble man. Murray, JFK thanks you for showing up for our match. You could have so easily decided to sit your arse at home due to your shoulder “injury”. But you, a man with the respect of every single wrestler in this business, a man who got JFK to focus and fight like he’s never fought before, decided to take your beating like a real man! You got the best out of JFK Andy, I’ll give you that! But most of all, JFK would like to thank you for convincing him to ban Mikey from ringside.
Mikey holds his hands out wide, not sure where Jesse is going with this, Kendrix gestures for a moment from his Bruv.
Kendrix: Because, as much as the Hollywood Bruvs are tight. As much as the fact that we will always have eachothers back...JFK had to prove to the world that he could become champ all on his own. After all, this is what the Mikey Era is all about, am I right?! What a great owner we have, people!
The WrestleUTA owner points back at him and mouths “You the real MVP”
Jesse holds his free hand out flat at Mikey in accepting fashion before starting a pace across the ring.
Kendrix: An era, as Mikey so rightly pointed out, where the best wrestlers in the world compete with each other for your entertainment. Where you, the UTAverse can literally try so abysmally, to jump your fat arses out of your trailer park stools, and cheer on your heroes in desperate need of reflected glory, like the salivating dogs that you are!
He motions for a moment with his index finger as he comes to an abrupt stop in the centre of the ring.
Kendrix: But there is one thing, above all else that defines this, the era based on professional integrity, based on merit. One thing that defines the era, where you get what you deserve, where you either Sink...or Swim….
Jesse flows his hand up and down in front of him before jabbing his thumb back onto his chest, staring straight at the in ring cameraman’s lens.
The cameraman steps back bringing Jesse into full view, focussing on the title as the boos begin to echo around the arena, however, Jesse waves them off.
Kendrix: No, no, actually think about it, yeah?! The #WUTASOSWTT, not only was the catchiest tournament hashtag name in the history of this business, but it was a tournament where the UTA finally separated the wheat from the chaff, the weak from the strong.
He holds his free hand out wide by his side to emphasize his last spoken word, a smug look on his face.
Kendrix: Not only did JFK sink CHAFF like John Sektor. Not only did JFK sink the WEAK Will Haynes, adding them, along with Christopher Hopper, in what JFK likes to call, “The JFK sunk your stupid face club”.
Ace: How does he come up with these catchy slogans?!
Kendrix removes his belt from his waist and proudly raises it out in front of the cameraman.
Kendrix: But...Jesse Fredericks Kendrix...announced the arrival of The Future!
Turning away from the cameraman to reface his live audience, he continues.
Kendrix: So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I invite you all to stand up and put your grubby little hands together, to ring in the new year. Because the Future is now, people! You finally have a FIGHTING CHAMPION on your hands, the era of THE CHOSEN ONE has begun!
He proudly raises The WrestleUTA World Title above his head. Walking over to each side of the ring, he raises the title to the jeers of each side of the arena, before walking back to meet an applauding Mikey Unlikely in the centre.
Mikey raises the microphone to his lips and takes over.
Unlikely: Wow! What a guy! Amiright!?
The crowd let’s out another long boo.
Unlikely: It’s nice to see how serious, you are taking this Jesse, and you and I both know that you are going to be the model champion!
Kendrix nods along with Mikey, then wipes away a smudge on his championship.
Unlikely: And as such, I expect you to be a FIGHTING champion! A champion who is unafraid to take on challengers, someone who can represent this amazing company in such a way that it hasn’t been represented since well… I WAS CHAMPION!
Unlikely: Totally Obvs! I would like to see you defend that belt against the best in the business, The best that WrestleUTA and the world have to offer! In fact I think you need to defend your title…
The fans cheer loudly.
Unlikely: IN TWO MONTHS AT OUR FIRST EVER LIVE PAY PER VIEW BAY BAY!
The fans boo.
Unlikely: What!? You thought I meant tonight!? What do you think this is, Slave labor!? THE MAN JUST WON THE TITLE! CUT HIM SOME SLACK!
Blackfront: Cut him some slack!? And yet, Andy Murray is expected to compete tonight…
Ace: Andy Murray didn’t win the World Championship Jason, Being the champ has its perks!
Unlikely: That said, I do have a big surprise for every WrestleUTA fan in attendance tonight! Right here in Orlando, Florida, Tonight LIVE on HULU. We will determine the number one contender for Kendrix’ WrestleUTA World Championship in our main event!
The fans once again get excited, they are so fickle.
Unlikely: TEN of WrestleUTA’s top superstars are ready to battle it out for a chance to face this man! Tonight I will introduce the Mikey Unlikely Number One Contenders Invitational Battle Royal! Or the #MUNOCIBR! Two superstars start in the ring, and every minute a new superstar enters! The only way to eliminate an opponent is to throw them over the top and have both feet hit the floor!
Kendrix: Oh so it’s like All or Nothing!?
Mikey loses his cool.
Unlikely: It’s not like All or Nothing! It’s the Mikey Unlikely Number One Contenders Invitational Battle Royal!
Kendrix: No I get it bruv, but the rules are the same innit?
Unlikely: Kinda, but a little bit different, can we move on!?
Kendrix: Ok Bruv, you got it, but you know… it’s even the time of the year for All or…
Unlikely: IT’S NOT ALL OR NOTHING!
JFK looks taken aback.
Unlikely: ANYWAY! TONIGHT! BATTLE ROYAL! ITS HAPPENING! ON HULU! #MUNOCIBR! GET READY!
â™« “Let ‘Em Come” by Scroobius Pip â™« hits the PA System as Mikey and JFK exit the ring. The scene fades away.
"The Adventures of Clucky: Part 1"
Backstage Dexter with Ivy are walking to a pop from the fans. Both are clearly in a somber mood.
Dexter: I don’t know what to think anymore babe… I really don’t… I mean an electric cage? I didn’t sign up for this kind of thing! I thought this was pro wrestling! Not a real life game of Saw!
Ivy: I know sweetie and I’m sorry… I never expected a psycho clown out of nowhere to do this sort of thing. But you did save me… That’s something no one can take away from you!
Dexter: Thank god for th……..
Mid sentence the two turn the corner and Dexter bumps right into the chest of..The fans erupt in cheers as Crimson Lord comes full view to them. He slowly looks up at the seven footer in utter panic while he stumbles with his words.
Blackfront: The seven footer makes an appearance.
Ace: Dexter looks like a child standing next to Crimson.
Dexter: Homann omann I..I..am sooo so...rry Mr. Crimsmmson...Lllord.
CL just stares down at Dexter not even responding. He looks at Ivy for a moment then returns his gaze once more toward The Keyboard Warrior. Crimson growls under his breathe for a moment before responding to the Keyboard Warrior
Crimson: …...Drop the Mr crap!
Dexter still stuttering his words, and Ivy quickly speaks for him.
Ivy: You know I never needed your help with Baylor.
Crimson slowly looks at Ivy.
Crimson: Consider yourself grateful “He” is no longer in the game anymore. Or your boyfriend here be sitting at your bedside right now.
Crimson slowly looks back at Dexter who still is clearly having a hard time trying to come up with a coherent sentence.
Crimson: That is what we call in this business as a mind game kid.
Blackfront: Dexter clearly has no clue what happened two weeks ago.
Ace: Maybe if he turned off the video games for five minutes, and tuned into Hulu and watched the show from two weeks ago. He could of been better informed.
Crimson puts his hand on Dexter’s shoulders he quickly flinches but CL does not release his grip.
Crimson: Kid relax, if I wanted to do something to you; you would be lying in a puddle of your own blood by now.
Ivy gets Crimson’s attention.
Ivy: What do you mean Crimson?
Crimson looks over at Ivy then lets go of Dexter's shoulder while looking back at him. He stands straight up and takes a deep breathe. Crimson reaches into his jacket and pulls out his android phone. He pushes a few buttons then shows Dexter and Ivy the video from the Hulu application.
Crimson: This is what happened while you two were preoccupied.
Dexter and Ivy seem a bit shocked. They watch for a few minutes enough to see the clown coming out for his match completely unharmed. They both look up at Crimson who returns his phone back to his jacket pocket.
Crimson: Consider that information free.
Crimson chuckles for a bit and extends his hand to Dexter.
Crimson: Welcome to the big time kid.
Dexter looks down at Crimson’s hand, then to Ivy, then back at Crimson. He reluctantly shakes Crimson’s hand. CL smirks at him while shaking his hand.
Crimson: Settle down kid, you are going to give yourself an ulcer if you keep this up.
Crimson pats Dexter on the shoulder for a moment, then walks in between the two and heads off as Dexter and Ivy watch him leave Dexter looks a bit more calm now.
Ace: Whoever this “He” is I wish he would come back. This Crimson Lord makes me sick!
Blackfront: Fans I am being told something has happened somewhere backstage...
Elsewhere in the building we see Jestal’s rubber chicken Clucky sitting ontop of Michael Byrd who is unconscious on the ground….
Blackfront: Byrd is unconscious here Tommy, why is Jestal’s rubber chicken sitting on him, and where is that demented jester at?
Ace: Clearly Clucky did not like what Byrd said to him.
Blackfront: You are joking right it's a rubber chicken for pete’s sake!
Chris "The Boss" Ross vs Bobby Dean
The scene turns back ringside where Bobby Dean is in the ring munching on a bag of popcorn.
Blackfront: Bobby Dean ready for action tonight!
Ace: Bobby Dean may very well be the luckiest man to still hold a job in the UTA! Seriously he’s like three hairs away from taking a step down on the evolution chart with how uncivilized he is!
Blackfront: As hard as it is to argue against that, he is a proven talent with some big wins under his belt!
Ace: He falls on people… Poor Lisil Jackson somewhere probably has PTSD now because of this mongoloid!
Suddenly the fans erupt into a chorus of boos as Badlands by Mayday begins to play over the loudspeakers. Chris Ross walks out carrying a microphone in hand.
Jordan: And his opponent….
Ross holds up the microphone.
Ross: Really CH Jordan!?… Here is how this goes! You try to announce my name. I make you look like an idiot and you run off with your tail tucked between your legs!
Chris Ross says as the fans begin to start an ass hole chant. He walks down the ramp and slides into the ring.
Ross: You know the routine fruit cup! Get the hell out of the ring! I don’t want someone with a terrible case of dandruff and a cheap jacket announcing my name!
Jordan throws his arms up as he slides out of the ring. The Keystone State Killa clears his throat.
Ross: Ladies and gentlemen standing before you is a man of true talent! A man who is a guaranteed hall of famer! A man who has dragged himself from the streets of Harrisburg to this ring! He is more than a man! He is more than a myth! He is more than a legend! He is more than anything any of you worthless pieces of Florida trash have ever seen before!
Fans: ASS HOLE!!!!!! ASS HOLE!!!! ASS HOLE!!!
Ross smirks arrogantly laughing.
Ross: Hey I agree this state smells like the inside of one! Now where was I before I got rudely interrupted? Oh yes each and every one of you has the privileged honor of witnessing the pure awesome of Christopher J. Ross! The Keystone State Killa…. The…..
Out of nowhere Bobby Dean sneaks up behind Ross and tries to roll him up!
The Boss kicks out and is clearly irate holding the microphone getting in the referee’s face.
Ross: What the hell was that?! You stupid bastard! Go back to your corner! I didn’t even hear a bell ring!!!!!!! I don’t even have my sunglasses off! Do you know how much these cost? A lot more than what you make in the course of a year you stupid zebra striped dumb ass!
The Boss says sliding his shades off setting them down in the corner with the microphone. He looks at Bobby Dean with a look of pure fire in his eyes. Dean lets out a high pitched scream and slides out of the ring. Ross slides out and starts chasing him around the outside of the ring. The referee looks on in disbelief as Dean is screaming like Homer Simpson with The Keystone State Killa chasing after him muttering every swear word in the book. Dean slides into the ring and gets on all fours hiding behind the referee. Ross slides in and is clearly not amused by Bobby Dean’s antics.
The referee steps out of the way and Ross wastes no time at all beginning his assault on Beautiful Bobby Dean hitting him with multiple punches and stomps before he stands him up and throws him over his head in a brutal belly to back suplex! The Suplex Machine rushes in and hoists Dean up and like a sack of potatoes throws Bobby Dean out of the ring. Ross laughs brushing off his hands. After a count of 6 Dean slides back in and The Boss grabs him by the back of the neck and tosses him out again! The referee yells at Chris Ross who rolls his eyes in response. Dean slides back in and Ross dumps him out on the opposite side of the ring again! At this point Bobby Dean is now mad!
Dean runs back into the ring and starts swinging crazy fists! Ross is sitting in the corner as he literally watches Bobby Dean walk across and fall out like a total idiot. The fans laughter can be heard throughout the arena as Bobby is now hanging upside down in the ropes and The Keystone State Killa lets out a yawn and props his feet up pretending to take a nap. The referee struggles but finally Bobby Dean is freed from the horrible situation he was in. Bobby stumbles back into the ring looking like a deer caught in the headlights. The Boss clearly having enough of his antics runs at Bobby. Dean tries to slide out of the ring but Chris has him by the tights! A struggle insues…… And then the unthinkable happens….
Ace: OH NO!!!!! MY EYES!!!!! MY EYES!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!
Blackfront: Oh good night Irene! Put the women and kids to bed!!!!!
Chris Ross stands there in total disbelief as Bobby Dean’s trunks have been completely ripped off and Dean stands there with a black censor bar covering him.
Ace: COMMERCIAL!!!! NOW!!!!!!
PLEASE STAND BY!!!!!!! WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES!!!!!
After a couple of minutes the show returns with Bobby Dean standing there wearing a pair of pink and black shorts clearly way too small for him.
Ace: Are those Jade Justice’s shorts?! What the hell is Bobby Dean doing with those?
Blackfront: Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to Ace!
The bell rings and Chris Ross rushes across the ring and without any warning or remorse he T-Bobe suplexes Bobby Dean onto his head. The Keystone State Killa mounts onto his back and starts raining forearms down onto his head pulling his hair back. He stands Dean up and wraps his arms around his waist and hits Dean with a German suplex… He keeps the hands clasped and stands up again switching to a Dragon suplex! Continuing the trio he stands up again and slams Bobby Dean down with a brutal Tiger Suplex onto the back of his head bridging with the pin.
Dean barely kicks out and Ross walks around the ring before he grabs Bobby Dean and lifts him up to his feet and bends him over. He hooks the arms and hoists him up and brings him down hard in a double underhook butterfly suplex so hard one of Dean’s boots come off! Dean stands up clearly out on his feet as The Boss walks over to the corner and retrieves his sunglasses and slips them on. “YEAH THE BOSS NEEDS HIS SUNGLASSES!” He yells before he runs and nails Bobby with a sickening punch to the back of his head sending him down hard. The Keystone State Killa grabs Dean by the back of the head and grabs him by the arms setting his foot on the back of his head. “NIGHTY NIGHT FATSO!!!” Ross yells before the fans groan as his face is driven into the mat in a brutal curbstomp. The Referee looks at Bobby Dean and calls for the bell. Chris exits the ring and walks up the ramp.
Jordan: The Winner of this match…. Chris “The Boss” Ross!
Blackfront: Wow Chris Ross literally didn’t even bother to pin his opponent he literally just left!
Ace: Yeah! Like a boss! No more like THE BOSS!
Blackfront: How many Rick Ross CDs have you been listening to?!
We cut to commercial break as the scene fades.
Backstage, in front of a UTA banner, stands a new - but - familiar face.
He’s holding the microphone with both hands, like he’s holding on for dear life. However, the fans in the arena can be faintly heard chanting “Welcome back!” at the erstwhile journalist.
Jamie Sawyers: Good evening, fans! My name is Jamie Sawyers, and with me now is a competitor in this evening’s main event battle royal! Please welcome… Impulse!
The cheers are louder as the camera zooms out a bit, and Impulse and Calico Rose step in, one on each side.
Jamie Sawyers: Impulse, you - and several other UTA athletes - have the chance tonight to become the number one contender to Kendrix’ UTA Championship. However, you were robbed by Chris Ross during the tournament to crown the Champion in your match against David Hightower. Do you feel that this shot should be yours by right, and how do approach a match like this?
He holds the microphone to Impulse’s face, but the Marathon Man just looks at him.
Impulse: You okay?
Sawyers looks put off by the question.
At that moment, Cally pulls the microphone towards her.
Calico Rose: Yeah, you look nervous. Calm your butt, sir… you’ve got the job, obvs for a reason. You should try meditation, or some yoga. Or some herbal tea. You want some?
Sawyers slowly, haphazardly pulls the microphone back to himself.
Jamie Sawyers: Umm… no. No, I’m okay. Thank you.
Calico Rose: Just let me know, all right?
Impulse gently pulls the microphone back to himself.
Impulse: What happened against David Hightower was unfortunate for me, but that’s part’a the game. If I deserved it at the time, I’d’ve won, regardless of any interference. Now, that being said… I’ve always done pretty well when I’ve had more than one opponent. In fact, my career was built on a battle royal that took place nearly a decade ago, so, all things equal, this match is right up my alley. As far as Chris Ross is concerned --
We never find out what Impulse meant ‘as far as Chris Ross is concerned’ because the second those words leave his mouth, a big metal box connects to the back of his head, and he drops like a sack of potatoes. A sweaty, adrenaline pumping, Chris Ross enters the scene and curbstomps Impulse’s ankle.
Chris Ross: This is what you deserve, you asshole! You wanna screw me?!
The cameraman backs up, Jamie Sawyers hightails it outta there, and Calico Rose remains unmoving, more or less in shock, as Chris Ross continues his assault. Somewhere in the distance, someone calls for security. Ross continues to curbstomp Impulse’s extremities and drop an occasional fist on his head.
Calico Rose: Hey! People who secure! Do the things!
The outburst brings Chris’ attention to her, and he stares daggers into her.
Chris Ross: How’s this rate on your stupid mellow scale, you bitch?
He takes a step towards her, but is tripped up by Impulse grabbing his ankle. Ross kicks him away, and at that moment security finally shows up to separate the two.
Mercifully, we cut elsewhere.
"Stay Tuned Bozos"
Upon returning from a lengthy commercial break we see Paul Stewart standing backstage in front of a WrestleUTA backdrop, microphone in hand. He gets his cue from a stagehand off camera.
Stewart: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time… THE Jay Harvey.
The camera turns to the right as Catalina and Jay Harvey enter the shot. Harvey is all ready for his upcoming match, dressed in his ring gear. Catalina looks stunning as always in a... very revealing outfit. Harvey has a grin on his face, similar to the cat who ate the canary.
Harvey: You know… one day you'll get it right. Not only am I THE Jay Harvey, no, no no I’m… I’m “The Natural One” THE Jay Harvey. You’ll get it. Next time.
Paul exhales and shakes his head. He continues the interview like the professional he is.
Stewart: Coming off your victory in your WreslteUTA debut, tonight you are back in action. Later this evening you go one on one with El Dragon Rojo, one of the top Lucha Libre stars from Mexico.
Harvey still has that grin on his face. Catalina puts her freshly manicured left hand on Harvey’s shoulder.
Harvey: I spent a few years down in Mexico. Training, learning, soaking up everything Lucha Libre but… you probably already knew that didn’t ya Paul? You are a professional who does his research on the people he interviews.
Stewart cocks his eye and doesn’t say a word. Jay Harvey laid the sarcasm on pretty thick.
Harvey: I’m sure you knew that… I’m no stranger to the Lucha Libre style of wrestling. El Dragon Rojo is in for a rude awakening when he steps into that ring with the most marvelous man to grace God’s green earth. El Dragon Rojo has never faced an opponent the likes of THE Jay Harvey and probably never will ever again.
The camera zooms in closer on Jay Harvey as he continues to speak at the lens in front of him. Paul Stewart is now out of the frame.
Harvey: And when it’s all said and done… I’m going to crush El Dragon Rojo like the little worm that he is. I will give no doubt that I’m the next big thing here in WrestleUTA. Stay tuned bozos…
Harvey turns his head and locks eyes with Paul Stewart.
Harvey: It’s gonna be marvelous.
With his final words spoken Jay Harvey and Catalina exit the shot leaving Paul Stewart alone before fading to black.
Cut to the announce booth, where we find Tommy Ace and Jason Blackfront (obvs).
Blackfront: Welcome back to ringside Ladies and Gentlemen. One of the big stories heading into this evening, aside from Kendrix’s coronation, was Andy Murray’s physical condition. The Scot entered WrestleUTA on Hulu 11 with an injured shoulder, and Kendrix brutally attacked the joint throughout their UTA Championship bout.
Ace: ”Smartly,” you might add.
Blackfront flashes his broadcast colleague a sidewards glance.
Blackfront: It was reported earlier in the week that Murray would be in action tonight, and he’s scheduled for face Theo Baylor later on. While the condition of his shoulder has almost certainly worsened thanks to JFK, we’re yet to hear a comprehensive update on the big man’s health. Folks, I’m pleased to say we can now bring that to you. Take it away, Jamie Sawyers…
We now cut to the backstage area, where the newly-reinstated Sawyers stands in-wait. He’s got a microphone, obviously, but he’s not standing with Andy Murray: instead, he’s stood next to a previously unseen woman decked-out in a white coat with a white ID badge hanging from the pocket.
Sawyers: Thanks Jason. Folks, I am joined at this time by Dr. Leticia Clark, our official UTA doctor.
Clearly not all that comfortable about being face-to-face with the camera, Dr. Clark nods and smiles awkwardly.
Sawyers: Doc, we understand that Andy Murray underwent a quick medical examination with yourself and your team earlier this evening. Can you give an update on his status?
Dr. Clark: Yes, Jamie. Unfortunately, things have clearly worsened since I looked at the joint two weeks ago. Andy’s in a great deal of pain, his shoulder has lost a lot of strength, and he doesn’t have range of motion at the moment. As it stands, I wouldn’t expect him to perform at full capacity this evening.
Sawyers: Would you say he’s at a bigger disadvantage than he was the other week?
Dr. Clark: Absolutely, yes.
A swathe of concerned ooooooohhhhhh’s drift around the arena.
Sawyers: We know that Murray was hurt in training prior to the Kendrix match, but can you shed any light on exactly what happened?
Dr. Clark: From what I understand, Andy was shooting for a takedown, but he landed awkwardly and dislocated the shoulder. He popped it right back in, but he’s still suffering the after effects. I don’t expect there to be any lasting damage, but he could clearly benefit from taking a few weeks off. The injury isn’t bad enough for me to call off the match, but if he has any sense…
Sawyers: … he’d be pulling out?
Dr. Clark: Exactly.
Sawyers: Dr. Clark, thanks for your time. Tommy, Jason… back to you.
Again, the POV switches back to the announcers.
Blackfront: There we have it, Tommy…
Ace: You reckon he’s gonna pull out?
Blackfront: I doubt it very highly. Andy is one of the most driven people in the business, but he’s also incredibly prideful. He’ll never back down from a fight, no matter what the cost, even when it works to his detriment.
Ace: Then if you ask me, he gets everything he deserves. Andy doesn’t have a leg to stand on if he goes out and gets injured again tonight: it’ll be all his doing, and he’ll have nobody to blame but himself.
Blackfront: We’ll find-out the true extent of his shoulder problems later, I guess. Let’s head elsewhere..
THE Jay Harvey vs El Dragon Rojo
The sound of heavy mariachi music begins to blare over the PA system inside the WrestleZone. The fans are on their feet for the entrance of El Dragon Rojo. He runs out to the top of the entrance ramp and pumps his fists in the air.
Blackfront: El Dragon Rojo making his way to the ring.
Ace: He should have stayed home!
El Dragon Rojo slaps the hands of the fans along the entrance ramp. He bounces from the floor over the top rope and rolls into the ring.
Blackfront: Quite a number of EDR masks in the WrestleZone.
Ace: Maybe El Dragon Rojo was handing them out as people entered the WrestleZone tonight.
Blackfront: I doubt that, Tommy.
“Natural One” by The Folk Implosion
The song is in full swing as Catalina walks through the curtain, with a big smile on her face. She turns and extends her arm as “The Natural One” Jay Harvey steps out onto the ramp. Harvey raises his arms into the air as he winks at Catalina. The crowd boos as the two walk down the aisle.
Ace: Why are these people booing THE Jay Harvey?
Blackfront: Cuz he thinks he’s the greatest thing to walk the earth.
Ace: Maybe he’s right!
Jordan: Hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina… Standing at Six Foot-Four inches and weighing in at Two Hundred-Thirty Three pounds...
When the two finally get to the ring, Jay Harvey walks up the ring steps and onto the apron. He sits on the middle rope and signals for Catalina to enter the ring. As she does Catalina gives Harvey a kiss on the lips, shaking her ass in the process.
Ace: Is it hot in here, Jason?
Blackfront: Give it a rest.
Jordan: He is accompanied by the lovely Catalina… He has informed me to refer to him as “the most marvelous man to grace God’s green earth”... “The Natural One” THE Jaaaaaaaaaay Haaaaaaarrveeeeyyyyy!
Jay Harvey comes to a halt in his corner and gets one last kiss from Catalina before she exits the ring; “The Natural One” wipes his feet clean as the fans continue to boo.
Ace: I’m quickly becoming a big fan of THE Jay Harvey.
The bell sounds and we’re off! The two men meet in the middle of the ring and exchange kicks to the knees. Dragon Rojo then ducks a right fist. El Dragon Rojo showing his speed hits the ropes and Jay Harvey gets him with an Arm Drag Takedown. Jay Harvey tries to cinch in a Shoulder Lock but EDR is able to roll out of it, sending Harvey to the mat. He bounces off them and ducks under a Jay Harvey Clothesline attempt. El Dragon Rojo comes back towards Harvey and rolls across his back as Harvey tried a Back Body Drop. Rojo halts and turns, hitting Harvey in the face several times with forearms, causing a trickle of blood to appear by his lip. El Dragon Rojo again darts towards the ring ropes. EDR rushes Jay Harvey and is sent down to the mat hard after a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Rojo grabs at his back in pain.
Blackfront: That’s a momentum stoppa!
Harvey still appears to be favoring his lip as he gets back into the action. He locks in a Grounded Reverse Chinlock. Harvey pulls with all his might, causing EDR’s body to almost V. The two are close to the ring ropes so EDR is able to escape the hold quickly but Harvey isn’t letting the hold go.
Referee: One! Two! Three! Four! Come on Harvey!
Jay Harvey finally releases the hold and gets back to his feet. He lands on Boot Stomps to El Dragon Rojo while the luchador grabs the middle rope to try and bring himself to a standing position. Jay Harvey hits the ropes and has EDR in his sights. Jay Harvey… misses the Crossbody! EDR pulled down the top rope, sending Jay Harvey crashing to the outside! Catalina makes her way to Jay Harvey to try and give him aid. El Dragon Rojo looks around the WrestleZone and pumps his left fist in the air. The crowd is buzzing, knowing EDR is going to take flight. Catalina is in the ear of Jay Harvey on the outside as EDR hits the ropes once more.
Blackfront: Suicide Dive to the outside!
Ace: I hope THE Jay Harvey is okay.
Catalina stands next to the bodies on the floor of the WrestleZone. The fans are cheering the action they are witnessing. El Dragon Rojo is the first one to his feet. He pulls at Jay Harvey getting him vertical and rolling him into the ring. EDR makes his way onto the ring apron and goes to the turnbuckles. He looks out into the sold-out crowd and signals he’s going up top. Jay Harvey is stirring as EDR positions himself on the top rope going for a Moonsault. Jay Harvey plays possum and moves at the last second. EDR crashes down to the mat hard. Jay Harvey sits on the bottom rope, propping himself on the middle rope. Harvey wipes the sweat from his head and lets out a big sigh of relief. Catalina tries her best to motivate her man as she slams her hands on the mat. Harvey bides his time and waits for EDR. El Dragon Rojo is on all fours, uncertain of his surroundings.
Ace: Wake up call for Mr. Dragon Rojo! Haha!
Blackfront: A devastating running knee from Jay Harvey!
Ace: THE Jay Harvey!
Jay Harvey has laid out El Dragon Rojo with the Wake Up Call. The knee strike has Rojo seeing stars and not just Jay Harvey. The fans can sense the end is near and boo the scene in the ring. Catalina does her best cheerleading act as Jay Harvey pulls El Dragon Rojo close to the corner.
Harvey: I’ll show you how it’s done!
Jay Harvey steps through the ropes and goes up top. He stands up tall on the top rope, extending his arms to the side. The fans don’t like this one bit. Jay Harvey points at his fallen opponent, pulls the trigger on his “handgun” and flies.
Blackfront: I’m afraid this one is over for El Dragon Rojo…
Ace: That was THE Best Shooting Star Press I’ve ever seen, Jason!
Indeed. The Shooting Star Press was a thing of beauty. Harvey hooks the leg and the referee starts the three count.
Referee: One! Two! Three!
The referee calls for the bell and the end of the contest.
Jordan: Your winner of the match by pinfall…
Jay Harvey gets to his feet and the referee goes to raise his hand in victory but pulls it away.
Jordan: “The Natural One”... Jaaaaaaaaay Haaaaaaarveeeeeeey!
Catalina makes her way into the ring and pushes the ref slightly and raises Jay Harvey’s hand. Harvey grabs at his stomach in some pain from the Shooting Star Press.
Blackfront: THE Jay Harvey is your winner. Victorious once again inside the WrestleZone.
Ace: THE Jay Harvey showed that little jumping bean how to high fly! Did you see that Shooting Star Press Jason?
Blackfront: I did…
Ace: It was… Marvelous!
A replay of the final moments of the match run across your screen.
Blackfront: First it was the knee that put El Dragon Rojo down and then… The Shooting Star Press put an end to the match.
Ace: THE Shooting Star Press! Get with the program!
Catalina and Jay Harvey continue to celebrate in the middle of the ring. A cameraman catches the attention of Jay Harvey who makes his way closer to him.
Harvey: Wasn’t that… marvelous?
Harvey laughs into the camera. We fade out and go to a commercial.
The scene opens to Scott Stevens, He walks down a hallway wearing his street clothes. He comes around a corner and reaches a door. The door has a lot of loud music coming from the other end of it.
The nameplate reads:
Below the door where the doorknob is, there is a clipboard hanging from it with a note. Stevens picks up the note and reads it aloud.
Stevens: If your name's not on this list, don’t you dare go in! Signed the Pop Culture Phenoms!?
Scott picks up the list and again reads off of it.
Stevens: Drake, Wilt Chamberlain, Kobe, Strippees, Members of the Sports Entertainment Guild, and “Kobe’s cousin” Dez Bryant!?
Scott rolls his eyes, drops the clipboard and knocks on the door. No answer. He knocks again. Nothing but music. Finally Stevens beats on the door with the bottom of his fist.
The door cracks open a little and an eyeball peers out. They look at Stevens, looks around, spotting the camera he opens the door further. WrestleUTA owner Mikey Unlikely is in the doorway. His suit jacket is missing now, his button up is NOT buttoned up, his hair is disheveled and he has lipstick marks all over his face. He smiles, tucks his shirt in, and wipes at his hair.
Unlikely: Hey guys!
The Drake song in the background gets louder as he steps out before closing the door behind him.
Unlikely: Just doing a little celebrating with the new champion.
Mikey looks around past Stevens and the camera.
Unlikely: Where are those three idiots!? You see a guy with a cardboard box on his head when you came up!? They were supposed to be watching the door.
Stevens isn’t amused by the celebration of lack there of.
Stevens: Mikey, Mikey. Mikey, you call this a Hollywood party?
Unlikely: Of course! Always the best for my bruv!
Stevens: I see you got the lipstick all over your face but how much of that Mikey Money did you have to spend to get a kiss?
Mikey suddenly gets an angry look on his face.
Unlikely: They are strippees not hook...listen, you know what!? What the hell do you want!? Interrupting our Bruvtastic Celebration!
Stevens: Since you asked….
Stevens puts his arm around Mikey’s shoulders.
Stevens: I wanted to come party with the Hollywood Bruvs since I heard they throw the best ones in town, but when I got here I was highly mistaken as I see nothing but cheap tricks, cheap booze, and a golden opportunity wasting away around your best friend’s waist.
Scott point's over to Kendrix and motions a championship belt around his waist. Mikey squints at him.
Unlikely: Listen here brevvvvvvv, first off there ain't a damn thing in this office that cost less than I’m paying YOU this week, so if you wanna prove a point, we can bring out the checkbooks! Secondly you want to talk about wasted opportunity!? YOU!? I put you in the #WUTASOSWTT! You failed! What do you want me to do!?
Scott gives Mikey a smirk.
Stevens: Yes I lost in the tournament and whether the fix was in or not, the point is I wasted the opportunity as you say... However! Another opportunity presented itself in the form of this battle royal you and your little boyfriend there are putting on, and I got a hunch, that if you put me in it… I’m gonna win it!
Stevens says as he points towards Kendrix. Mikey takes everything in. Suddenly in the background Kendrix shows up and taps Mikey on the shoulder.
Kendrix: Oi….What’s going on Bruv!? The strippees are missin ya, there’s only seven of them and one of me, I only have two hands innit!? Wait… Go Away Stevens!
Stevens flashes a grin.
Stevens: In do time Bruv. Mikey and I were having a nice conversation about my entering the battle royal so I can take the WrestleUTA World championship off of your hands.
Mikey half turns to Kendrix but still looks at Stevens.
Unlikely: Stevens here was just talking to be me about “opportunity” and what he thinks about the GREATEST TITLE REIGN OF ALL TIME! OBVS!
Kendrix: TOTALLY OBVS!
Mikey turns back to Stevens and smiles. A lightbulb.
Unlikely: Okayyyyy Stevens! I think you’re right! I think you should get a spot in the battle royal! I like to think I’m a very impartial guy! So I tell you what… I’m even going to let JFK here pick what number you enter! Since you know, my doing it would be conflict of interests. I don’t wanna show favoritism or detachment from any of my superstars!
Kendrix: Mikey! That’s a great idea! I think if Stevens wants the opportunity then he has to EAAARRRRNN it yea?! I mean that's the point of all this innit!? So Stevens I think you’ll enter this match in the best spot! NUMBER ONE! Cause you really are the number one Bellend around!
As Stevens watches Mikey and Kendrix laugh like a couple of hyenas the Texan simply shrugs since he got the opportunity he was looking for.
Stevens: Thank you Champ because it doesn’t matter if I enter first or last because I’m going to win this thing and prove to you…..
Stevens buries his index finger into the chest of the world champion.
Stevens: That if I have to go through nine other guys to earn that opportunity than that’s what I’m going to do because whether you like it or not I will be the UTA World champion and the only two things you can do is nothing and like it!
Stevens boasts confidently before turning around to leave, but stops and turns to Mikey.
Stevens: Better get that checkbook ready because my elimination bonus are about to kick in.
Stevens gives the Bruvs each a pat on the shoulders before leaving.
"The Adventures of Clucky: Part 2"
We are directed once more to the tron and a backstage shot of feet walking down a corridor. The camera slowly pans up the figure. The fans quickly give off their feelings toward David Hightower when he comes full view on the tron. The devious clown can be heard in the background yelling for what appears to be his rubber chicken Clucky.
Blackfront: The Mad Prince apparently is still looking for the rubber chicken.
Jestal bumps into Hightower, who looks down at the clown with a cold stare.
Jestal: Oh thank god listen Moses, have you seen Clucky he is about…
He puts his hand about a foot from the ground
Jestal: this high…
He partially spreads his hands to the side.
Jestal: about that wide..
Hightower continues to stare at the clown. Jestal puts his hand over his chin for a moment in deep thought before responding.
Ace: It looks like Hightower is clearly not in the mood for Jestal’s games.
Jestal: You're a police officer right Moses?
Hightower raises his eyebrow at that awkward question.
Jestal: Come on get Mahony, and Tackleberry to help you I am reporting a missing person here.
Blackfront: You have got to be kidding me..
Ace: Oh my God that is hilarious, he has a deathwish but still hilarious!
Hightower does not look amused at those words coming from the clown. Jestal extends his hand and waves it above his head in the direction of Hightower face.
Jestal: Hello, don’t you think you should get a pad and paper out, and write my description down?
Hightower slowly crosses his arms still with that cold stare toward the clown, who thinks he is someone from a movie.
Jestal reaches in his jacket and pulls out a picture of Clucky and shows it to Hightower.
Jestal: This is Clucky, you need to put a apb or whatever your cop talk is.
Hightower takes the photo and looks at it, the jester seems happy.
Jestal: That's right get a good look, I came into the Wrestlezone tonight he was in my locker room. My guts were bothering me all day so when I went to the bathroom….
He nudges Hightower with his elbow for a moment.
Jestal: boy I hate to be Ron Hall when he sees I clogged that toilet up.
Blackfront: Disgusting clown.
Ace: Pretty soon Mr. Unlikely will be free of the remaining nuisance left in this company..Bravo Jestal!
The clown laughs hysterically, Hightower clearly is not amused.
Jestal: Tough crowd...anyway when I came back he was go…
Hightower quickly stops the clown's, story when he crumbles up the picture of Clucky and drops it to the floor.
Blackfront: I think this sob story is about over.
Ace: From the looks of it I don’t think Hightower is going to show as much restraint as he did with Chris Ross two weeks ago.
Jestal: Hey! How are you supposed to describe him to your cop buddies?
Jestal reaches down and picks up the crumbled up picture of Clucky, he looks up at Hightower the two now have a stare off.
Elsewhere, the fans cheer as we see Ron Hall, with a tool belt on standing next to a door. He looks at the door pleased with his work, and slowly puts the hammer into the metal ring on his toolbelt.
Ace: Oh look it's the handyman, the last remains of a defunct roster ran by a out of touch has been owner.
Hall: Between that clogged toilet, the garbage in the parking lot and this door hanging off its hinges pretty busy night.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper and begins to read it.
Hall: Ok, those are done on the list..let's see what is next on the li….
Before Ron can finish that sentence the door explodes from the hinges right in front of him! On top of the door is “The Mad Prince” Jestal! Ron’s look is that of utter shock for a moment. Jestal quickly gets up and yells into the hallway while dusting himself off.
Blackfront: Did you see that it appears Hightower, finally lost it!
Ace: Forget all that look at Ron’s face ahhh priceless.
Jestal: That is it I am telling your supervisor!
Jestal looks over at Ron who is rather annoyed toward the clown. Jestal on the other hand is happy, as he flattens that crumbled picture of Clucky out. He shows the picture of Clucky to Ron.
Jestal: Hey, Ron have you seen Clucky here is a photo of him. I have be…
Ron quickly interrupts him shouting at the clown.
Ron: I JUST FIXED THAT!
Jestal looks down at the door, clearly he could care less as he ignores what Ron says.
Jestal: The door was like that when I got here, so Clucky have you seen him?
Ron grabs part of the now shattered door, and throws the debris at the clown!
Ron: Get out of here!
Jestal quickly ducks the oncoming debris, and backs away.
Jestal: Jeez who pissed in your cheerios.
Jestal walks off shouting for his rubber chickens name once more, as Ron looks down at the door then the door hinges on the floor. He gives off a deep sigh, and shakes his head. He pulls out his cell phone to call for a new door.
Ace: That’s it you tool, do your job fix that door!
Blackfront: Show some respect the man is a legend in this company!
Ace: He is a fossil, he should have been forgotten a long time ago.
Elsewhere in the building Duke Dibbins looks to be laid out. Jestal’s rubber chicken Clucky sits on top of Duke Dibbins.
Ace: Clucky strikes again!
Blackfront: I doubt that Tommy.
Andy Murray vs Theo Baylor
We cut back to ringside, and “Riding Dirty” by Chamillionaire is already booming through the speakers. Theo Baylor is making his way down to the ring with a confident swagger, earning himself a smattering of boos from the audience.
Jordan: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 285lbs, from Compton, Los Angeles… THEOOOOOOOO BAYLOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR!
Blackfront: Here comes Theo Baylor, and this could be a big test for Andy Murray.
Ace: Absolutely, JB. Theo’s a big hoss: he’s 6’5”, which isn’t as tall as Murray, but he’s a few points heavier. There’s a lot of muscle packed onto that frame, and Baylor’s not the kind of guy you wanna fight with a bum shoulder.
Blackfront: He’s a mean son of a gun, too. Make no mistake, Theo Baylor isn’t the most celebrated wrestler on the roster, but he’s a match for anyone on his day, particularly when the opposition’s working with a broken wing.
Theo enters the squared circle and begins his final pre-match stretching routine, paying no heed to the crowd. That’s when “Hail to the King, Baby” by The Heavy Eyes plays, and the fans’ reaction does a 180. The atmosphere builds through the introduction, before the song kicks in with a big explosion at the top of the ramp, and Andy Murray emerges on the stage.
Jordan: … aaaaand his opponent! Making his way to the ring from Aberdeen, Scotland, he weighs in at 280lbs… ANDYYYYYYY MUUUURRRRAAAYYYYYYY!
Blackfront: There he goes…
Ace: And I’m seeing a whole lot of medical tape peeking out from under that jacket, Jason!
The King makes his way down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as usual. He gets inside the ring, and sure enough, there’s a shitload of tape around his shoulder when he takes the jacket off.
Ace: My god! Anymore tape and he’ll be a goddamn mummy!
Blackfront: That’s… a lot.
Ace: Yeah it is! Should this geek even be wrestling tonight?!
Blackfront: Dr. Clark okay’d it, so it’s okay. We know all about Murray’s skill, experience, and athleticism, but can he overcome such a disadvantage? We’ll soon see.
Baylor talks a little shit and points at the bandages, but Murray ignores him. The bell rings, and the two start circling. Baylor instantly goes for a lock-up, but Murray looks a little reticent. He kicks Baylor’s thigh as they separate, then ducks under a right hand. From behind, Murray seizes an arm and wraps it into a Hammerlock, before gradually working Baylor to the floor. He presses a knee into Theo’s back, preventing his rise, but his opponent slowly makes his way to the ropes.
Forced to break, Murray rises to his feet. Baylor gets up shortly after him and starts circling again. Murray avoids being backed into the corner and again avoids using his right side. He secures Baylor in a standing armlock, wrenches tightly, then gets dislodged when Baylor reverses and boots him in the gut. Theo rains a couple of clubbing blows down, then lands a hard upkick to the injured shoulder. Murray stumbles away, struggling.
Blackfront: Murray’s clearly favouring the shoulder thus far. Not an ideal start…
Theo tries to ground Murray, but he has no such luck. Andy reverses, hits him with some left forearms, then whips him to the rope. Murray throws a clothesline instinctively on the rebound: big mistake. The move connects, but the pain immediately judders through Murray’s body, eminating from his shoulder. He falls to a knee.
Ace: Jesus, if he can’t even through a ‘line…
The delay gives Baylor time to recover. He comes inside, and this time gets himself into a collar-and-elbow. Using his power, Baylor leans over to the right, exploiting the shoulder. He gains the advantage and skips around into a rear waistlock, before seizing the bad arm. Murray breaks out of it and turns around, hitting him with some left forearms, then following up with a simple bodyslam. Again, this hurts him.
Wincing, Andy pulls Baylor from the mat. The referee is playing close attention to Murray at this time, and watches him work the arm again. Eventually, Andy stuns Baylor with a European Uppercut, runs to the ropes, and knocks him down with a shoulder barge. Fortunately, he remembers to use the correct shoulder this time.
Murray calls for his opponent to get up, and that’s exactly what Theo does. He gets backed into the corner and then stung with a few chops, before Murray whips him to the opposite turnbuckle. Baylor lands back-first, Murray follows up with a dashing European Uppercut, then repeats after whipping him across the ring again. Baylor staggers out from the second European, and Murray downs him with a strenuous one-arm scoop slam.
The crowd are fired up, but Murray can’t capitalise. He’s clearly in a lot of pain, and stops to roll the shoulder a couple of times. It’s too much for him, however, and he abandons. Instead, Andy “helps” Baylor up, throws his head under his arm, and goes for a suplex. He can only get him a couple of inches off the mat before he has to abandon, however. Baylor immediately goes after him, but the referee comes in to separate ‘em.
Blackfront: Looks like the referee’s about to check on Andy…
Ace: Yeah, this doesn’t look good.
Andy exchanges a few words with the refere. Baylor is itching to go behind him, but he doesn’t risk pulling the referee away. The official raises a hand above his head, calling for Murray to do the same. Murray starts a protest, but relents, and tries to lift the arm up…
He can only get it halfway.
At this point, the referee knows what to do.
DING! DING! DING!
Blackfront: He’s called it! The referee has decreed that Andy Murray is unable to continue!
Jordan: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner via referee stoppage… THEO BAYLOR!
Ace: Man, what a load of shit. This thing was just heating up when the referee stopped it! It Murray was cleared to compete, he should be cleared to finish the match.
Blackfront: Clearly the referee thought differently, and he’s got a point. Perhaps the shoulder worsened with that early clothesline, but if you can’t raise your arm above your head, you probably shouldn’t be wrestling.
Disappointed, Andy Murray shakes his head. He gives the crowd an apologetic handwave as Theo Baylor celebrates behind him.
Ace: What a waste of time this was.
Blackfront: Murray tried, but I guess it was insurmountable. Either way, he looks destined for a spell on the sidelines, whether he likes it or not..
"The Adventures of Clucky: Part 3"
Elsewhere in the building Luke Dibbins looks to be laid out. Jestal’s rubber chicken Clucky sits on top of Luke Dibbins. Jestal’s voice can be heard in the background.
Blackfront: It appears Jestal might be closing in on Clucky.
Ace: Clucky has been introducing himself to the guys backstage all night.
The clown comes into view of where his trusted rubber chicken is. Jestal notices Clucky sitting ontop of Luke, he rushes over toward the chicken saying…
Jestal: I found you finally…
Blackfront: The clown finally has found this rubber chicken, I guess that concludes Jestal’s quest to find him now.
Jestal reaches down for Clucky, but before he can grab him another hand grabs the chicken before he can. Jestal looks up quickly toward who did it. Jestal motions for the chicken the camera slowly pans upward to a pop from the fans it's Dexter Pointdexter!
Jestal: You! Thanks to you I have third degree burns all over my back!
Dexter looks toward the jester, no longer showing the guilt he had two weeks ago.
Dexter: I know about your little stunt double clown, Crimson Lord told me about this little game you played.
Blackfront: Earlier tonight Crimson Lord brought Dexter and Ivy up to speed.
Ace: What is it with Crimson, trying to bud into other people's affairs as of late?
Jestal looks down and away and mumbles under his breath.
Jestal: Damn you Crimson always trying to ruin my fun!
Dexter: So this is the famous Clucky…..
Jestal looks back at Dexter emotionless.
Dexter: and he has been quite busy tonight….
Dexter looks back at Jestal.
Dexter: or should I say YOU have.
The clown’s eyebrow arches for a moment.
Jestal: I have no idea what you are talking about. Give him back!
Dexter now with a grin looks at the clown then out into the arena here in Orlando.
Dexter: Wrestlezone do you want to play a game with myself and this troll doll?
Jestal clenches his teeth in annoyance. The fans give Dexter a positive reaction. Dexter looks back at the clown.
Jestal: I will not play games with you…..
The clown points out into the arena.
Jestal: especially with these idiots!
The jester clearly gets a negative reaction from the crowd. Dexter appears to be stunned at his adversary's response. He looks back into the fans here in the Wrestlezone.
Dexter: Orlando, Florida should we listen to what Bozo the Clown wants?
Dexter shrugs his shoulders at the clown. Jestal looks at the sea of fans here in Orlando.
Jestal: Shut up, just sit there and watch the show you are not a part of it!
Dexter looks toward Clucky then out into the fans once more.
Dexter: Wrestlezone it appears a wild Jestal has appeared!
The fans have gotten louder as the Keyboard Warrior, has performed a critical attack on the fans here in Orlando. Ivy walks up next to Dexter he looks at her and hands Clucky to her. All the while Jestal’s eyes watch Dexter hand Clucky to her.
Dexter: How about a card game?
Jestal’s eyes still peeled on Clucky responds.
Jestal: I told you I am in no mood to play games.
Dexter reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small box used for a deck of cards. He pulls the cards outs and begins to shuffle them.
Dexter: Too bad...I tell you what if you win the game you can have this rubber condom back.
Jestal quickly looks back at Dexter with his cold eyes.
Jestal: Clucky is not a condom you moron!
Dexter shrugs his shoulders.
Dexter: Like I care clown, you have gone from stalking my girlfriend, to damn near hospitalizing her! You clearly have a problem with me, so for once let's keep this between you and me!
Dexter looks out to the Wrestlezone.
Dexter: Alright my fellow MMO Players, object of the game is simple Jestal here just has to say the name of the card I am holding up and only you and I can see the answer. Are you guys ready for Level 1?
The fans cheer more, the jester however clearly is not amused at this at all.
Dexter pulls out a card with the back of the card facing Jestal. The card appears on the lower left hand corner of the tron for the Wrestlezone to see. It is revealed to be the “A of ♠ï¸’s”
Dexter: What is the name of the card clown?
Jestal crosses his arms still with that cold stare toward Dexter.
Jestal: Clucky now you idiot!
Blackfront: So now the jester doesn’t want to play games. He was playing a pretty extreme game two weeks ago.
Ace: It is not about games it's about finding what belongs to him!
The fans boo Jestal’s response, while Dexter and Ivy have ear to ear grins on their face. The clown looks out once more into the Wrestlezone.
Jestal: You can boo me all you want I am not playing this game!
Dexter looks a bit disappointed. He looks over at Ivy.
Dexter: Pity, he has died on Level 1, I think he needs some add incentive…...Oh how about this! How about we melt Clucky down?
Jestal’s eyes widened, as Dexter gets a look at the button he seems to have pushed on the clown.
Jestal:....Kid I am going to make you feel pain like no other one of these days.
Dexter’s now smug look toward the clown while pointing to the card. The jester realizing he has no choice but to play this game. He grumbles under his breathe as he responds.
Jestal: … “2 of â¤ï¸’s”
Dexter looks at the card and sighs for a moment, while the fans seem to be laughing at Jestal’s answer, which only infuriates the clown as he extends his middle finger to the Wrestlezone only getting boos in response.
Dexter: Wrong answer… That Level 1 boss is pretty tough you have two more lives left.
Dexter pulls out a card with the back of the card facing Jestal once more. The card appears on the lower left hand corner of the tron for the Wrestlezone to see. It is revealed to be the “5 of ♣ï¸’s”
Jestal:......“5 of ♣ï¸’s”
Dexter looks at the card and so does Ivy. They both look at each other and sigh then look back at the clown clenching his teeth now.
Dexter: We're sorry you have died again you have one more life left.
Blackfront chuckles a bit but Tommy clearly is not amused.
Ace: Wait a minute! Jestal was right! This is bull shit!
The fans cheering and laughing at Dexter cheating on his own game. Dexter pulls out a card with the back of the card facing Jestal once more. The card appears on the lower left hand corner of the tron for the Wrestlezone to see. It is revealed to be the “J of ♦ï¸’s”
Jestal:......“J of ♣ï¸’s”
Dexter looks at the card for a moment, while the fans laugh at Jestal’s answer.
Dexter: Game Over, poor Umba Lumba.
Blackfront: Jestal, just lost his last life.
Ace: This guy is a utter cheat!
Fans: GAME OVER…..GAME..OVER….GAME...OVER!!!
Jestal kicks a pile of chairs and pipes sitting against the wall backstage enraged.
Jestal: Enough of this give me Clucky right now!
Blackfront: The tables have turned on the Mad Prince here Tommy, it appears THIS time Dexter has the advantage over the jester!
Ace: Only reason he does is because he cheated!
Ivy hands the chicken back over to Dexter who has returned his cards to the box and put them back into his back pocket.
Dexter: So let me get this straight this thing…
Dexter turns Clucky in a eight o’clock direction. While looking at it he answers the clowns demands.
Dexter: …..you lose the game and expect the reward for not finishing the level? Sorry Mario! Your princess is in another castle!
The tone of the clown has risen.
Jestal: To hell with your kiddie game! Give Clucky back to me right now!
Dexter lowers Clucky to his side and looks at Ivy, who clearly is amused he returns his look at the jester. Who behind all that paint on his face you can kinda tell he is getting red in the face.
Dexter: You want him?
Blackfront: Jestal just tried to swipe Clucky from the hands of Dexter, and misses!
Ace: Now this idiot is poking Jestal in the stomach with Clucky!
Jestal: Yes! I want him?
Blackfront: It appears we have yet another game going on here Tommy.
Ace: Oh would you look at this Dexter laughing at him ...and…. Is that the trolololol dance? What is he five years old?
The jester clearly is not amused by Dexter’s antics.
Dexter: I do not think you really mean that?
Jestal: Yes I do! Give him to me!
The Mad Prince takes another swipe trying to get the rubber chicken and misses.
Dexter: Swing and a Miss again. Boy Sweet Tooth you're not good at card games or even outdoor sports. Now are you sure you want this thing back?
Blackfront: It looks like Dexter has his cell phone out. He has a sound of a baby crying playing on it. Dexter is really trying to get deep under the skin of Jestal.
Ace: Judging by the clown’s eyes they are filled with rage. I have seen that look it people's eyes before, keep pushing you nerd and you will regret it.
In the exchange with Dexter...
Jestal: Now! I want him Now!
Jestal eyes widen with a shocked look on his face when he just realized what he was asking Dexter to do.
Dexter cold clocks Jestal over the head with Clucky! Jestal staggers around and raises a finger…
Jestal: Check please…
Jestal falls on his back out cold, as Dexter looks at the chicken then back down at the unconscious jester.
Ivy: Goodnight Sweet Prince…
Dexter squats down next to Jestal tossing Clucky on top of the clown.
Dexter: You’re not the only one who can play games…… Just remember…… I have all the cheat codes…….. You may be Sweet Tooth but this time consider Minion as unlocked! L1, Up, Down, Left….
Blackfront: Dexter just gave jestal Clucky back just like he wanted!
Ace: What rubbish, Dexter lured him into that.
Blackfront: He clearly is a lot smarter than you thought Tommy. He just outsmarted a man who has proven he is a very cunning and calculating man in Jestal.
Ace: These idiots out here are no better than Dexter!
Mikey Unlikely Number One Contenders Invitational Battle Royal!
Or the #MUNOCIBR!
Cut to Ringside.
Blackfront: Folks, earlier tonight, WrestleUTA owner, Mikey Unlikely announced…
Blackfront: Decreed, that before nights end we would crown a new #1 contender to Kendrix’s World Championship. He announced that we would be having a battle royal of sorts. Two men will begin the match, and 8 more will be waiting in the back, and will be entering the match in one minute increments. Much like the former All or Noth…
Ace: IT’S NOT ALL OR NOTHING! Stop it Jason!
Blackfront: Well nonetheless it’s much in the format that we’ve all seen before. In the ring our new ring announcer is ready to introduce who is starting this thing off!
Ace: Well we already know who number one is… Scott Stevens asked Mikey for an opportunity to prove himself tonight, and our wonderful owner, our RIGHTEOUS owner, our FAIR and amazing owner, has given Stevens a real golden egg here!
Blackfront: Well I don’t know about all that, Scott asked for a spot in the battle royal…
Ace: And MIkey gave him one!
Blackfront: He made him the first entrant!
Ace: Well someone had to be!
:Scott Stoovins Shit:
Jordan: Ladies and Gentlemen it’s time for the WrestleUTA #1 Contenders Mikey Invitation battle royal! Coming to the ring, he is the first entrant. Hailing from Houston, Texas…. THis is SCOOTTTTTTTT STEEEEVVVVEEEEEENNNNSSS
The fans cheer as Scott Stevens comes through the curtain. He smiles and waves to the crowd, he looks to be in good spirits. He runs about halfway down the ramp, and slides into the ring, he gets up and hits the ropes, testing them out before the next theme song comes on.
Ace: Alright, ALright, let’s see who’s next! Who’s gonna be the guy to throw Stevens over the top in record time!?
“Natural One” by The Folk Implosion hits the loudspeakers and the fans let out an array of boos. New ring announcer, C.H. Jordan makes the call.
Jordan: Coming to the ring next, he is the man who drew number two. Fighting out of Raleigh, North Carolina… This is “The Natural” JAYYYYYYYYY HAAAARRRRVEEEYYYYYYYY!
Jay Harvey burst through the curtain, excited as ever. The fans boo him, and he smiles back at them smugly. He slowly walks down the ramp, pointing and yelling at Stevens in the ring.
Ace: Alright Jason! This is what I’m talking about! This kid is ready to go! He’s off to a hot start here in WrestleUTA, and I for one, really like his style.
Blackfront: You would Tommy! While he has absolutely been impressive in the ring, his attitude leaves something to be desired. Nonetheless Stevens has quite a few years experience on this relative newcomer to WrestleUTA.
Harvey climbs in the ring, taking his time, rubbing his feet on the mat. The referee checks both of their pads and boots quickly, and motions for the bell to ring.
Blackfront: And here we go! The match and the timer begins. Every one minute we will get a new wrestler hitting the ring. The only way to eliminate an opponent is to throw them over the top rope and to the floor. The last man standing will be declared the number one contender to the WrestleUTA championship!
Ace: Harvey is on the attack early!
THE Jay Harvey has Scott Stevens in a side headlock after winning the tie up. Harvey holds the head of Stevens with his left arm, and pops him in the face a couple times with his right hand. On the third shot, Stevens falls to a knee.
Blackfront: Those are closed fists!
Ace: It’s all legal in this one Jason. Do you see a referee in the ring? I don’t either, the only thing they are out here for is to determine who’s been eliminated and whether or not two feet touched the floor. Harvey and ANYONE else for that matter, can do anything they want within the confines of those ropes.
Harvey now slides down with Stevens and drives his face to the mat. He keeps the headlock locked in, Scott Stevens grabs the arm, and is finally able to spin out of the hold. He turns it into a hammerlock on Harvey, who throws a hard back elbow that catches Stevens in the mouth. The hold is released and both men get to their feet quickly. Harvey goes for a kick to the gut, but it’s caught by Stevens. The Natural tries the classic enziguri, but Stevens ducks, and hops overtop the downed opponent and now locks in a side headlock of his own. Jay Harvey stands up underneath it, while Stevens keeps it locked in. Harvey backs him up and shoots him off the ropes, on the return Harvey drops and Stevens runs over top of him, Harvey back up, and leap frogs Stevens this time, Stevens comes back and Harvey goes for an armdrag, Stevens stops it and lifts up Jay, but Harvey spins and lands on his feet and delivers a dropkick to the face of Scott Stevens. The fans begin to count down from ten, signalling the next contestant.
Blackfront: Number three is about to enter as Harvey maintains control of Scott Stevens! Stevens gets back up now as Harvey backs him into a corner. Stevens turns the tables and tosses Harvey back into the corner and starts lighting him up with strikes as the fans come alive!
“You’re The Best Around” by Joe Espisito hits the PA system and the fans cheer and laugh as “Beautiful” Bobby Dean comes through the curtain on his scooter. He waves to the fans, and stops at the top of the ramp. He looks down in the ring, at the two competitors wrestling away, and he looks back at the fans in the arena. He turns the key on the scooter, and turns off the power. He leans back in his seat and get comfortable.
Blackfront: I don’t think Bobby Dean, is too eager to get involved in this one.
Ace: I hate to say it Jason, but that might be a smart strategy. The whole point of this match is to outlast and eliminate people. Two things Bobby Dean is not well known for doing, Might as well take his time and be as fresh as he can for the end!
Blackfront: But he’s just sitting on the ramp?
Ace: I’ve stood there, it’s a great view!
Back in the ring Jay Harvey is down and Stevens is on the second rope. He leaps he lands with a an elbow drop across the shoulder area of The Natural. Harvey looks hurt after the move and rolls away from Stevens, who takes a moment on the mat himself to catch his breath.
Bobby Dean reaches into the basket of his scooter at the top of the ramp, and pulls out a pack of egg rolls. He opens and begins eating as he enjoys the match.
THE Jay Harvey is using the ropes to get back up. Stevens is also getting back up but keeping an eye on his opponent. Harvey runs, Stevens telegraphs and moves as Harvey slams into the turnbuckle chest first, and comes out of the corner backwards. Stevens reaches back, clutches the head and drops with a neckbreaker!
Scott picks up Harvey as quickly as he can and clutches him behind the neck and by the tights. He runs him for the ropes, and tosses him over, but Harvey lands on the ring apron. Stevens unaware turns towards Bobby Dean and motions for him to come down the ramp. Dean shakes his head quickly. Pointing to his egg rolls, he motion for Stevens to come up!
Harvey jumps and uses the top rope as a springboard. He lands a beautiful Missile Dropkick on the back of Stevens that sends him face first into the turnbuckle. He drops hard. Once again the fans begin to countdown for the next competitor.
“Badlands” By Mayday! Hits.
Ace: Yes! Another one of my recent favorites! This guy is pure entertainment!
Through the curtain comes a cocky Chris Ross. Bobby Dean sits on the stage still, completely unaware as he has his face buried in a chinese take out box. Ross is tossing something up and down in the air. It’s hard to tell exactly what it is. That is until he get’s close to Bobby Dean's cart. He opens the pocket knife, twists it in his hand. Reaches back and slams the knife into…. The back tire of Bobby Dean’s mobile. The cart slumps to one side now, but Bobby Dean still didn't notice. Chris Ross cannot believe it. He slaps the chinese food out of the face of Bobby Dean. Bobby keeps slurping at the noodles in his mouth, now slowly becoming aware the food is gone.
He looks down at the container, and then up and sees Chris Ross and jumps! The fans laugh as Bobby Dean starts the cart right back up and leans forward as he tries to roll. The cart tries but cant push forward on two tires. Instead it slowly starts to spin in place with two tires moving but the flat stationary. Once again the fans laugh. Bobby looks panicked and rightfully so as he spins he catches a right hand from Ross. who then grabs him by the hair and starts walking him toward the ring, Dean begs off the whole time.
Back in the ring THE Jay Harvey leans down on stevens with an armbar. Finally the other two get to the ring, and we finally have four competitors in at once. However the entire fiasco lasted just long enough to get the fans chanting again.
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Ridin Dirty” by Chamillionaire hits the PA and once again the fans show their disdain for the new entrance, as the very large Theo Baylor comes through the curtain.
Blackfront: Theo Baylor now enters the matchup. He’s definitely excited to get in there as he is headed to the ring without haste. We’re halfway through our entrants folks, and we’re yet to see an elimination! Keep in mind the winner of this match will be named the new number one contender! Could it be Theo Baylor!?
Baylor hits the ring and drops the axe handle on Chris Ross, before doing the same to Bobby Dean. Dean falls into the corner where Baylor starts to choke him with a boot. Chris Ross thinks about punching Baylor back, but then decides against it. He looks over and see’s Stevens getting the upperhand on Harvey, and waltzes over and drops some forearms on the back of the next of Stevens, before clutching him and nailing a lifting german suplex. Ross stands up and claps his hands, clearly impressed with himself. Harvey slaps him on the back and gets in his ear. He motions back and forth between them, then points over to Stevens.
Ace: Another smart move! Teaming up and playing the numbers game.
Blackfront: Only one man can win Tommy.
Ace: Yea, but if you don’t make it till the end, you won’t win, and that’s a lot easier to do with someone watching your back!
Both men start putting the boots to Scott Stevens. Here comes Theo Baylor however, and clotheslines both in one move. Everyone is down but Theo now. He pumps his arms and the fans boo in response.
Ace: This is the guy who Andy Murray couldn’t beat tonight! And the fans still don’t like him!?
Bobby Dean slowly pulls himself to his knees and tries to crawl under the ropes. Baylor grabs him by the leg and pulls him back in. Much to the chagrin of The Beautiful one. Now back in the ring Baylor helps Bobby Dean to his feet, before grabbing him around the neck with both hands. As he’s about to lift Dean, Bobby finally on the offense lifts his foot quickly.
Blackfront: LOW BLOW BY BOBBY DEAN!
Ace: Whatever it takes!
Theo Baylor falls like a ton of bricks. The fans cheer loudly.
Blackfront: In the other corner Harvey, and Ross have Stevens over the rope but he’s holding on upside down. Bobby Dean realizing there aren't Many people in this match who would help him, sees Scott in peril and comes rumbling in and squashes Ross into Harvey in the turnbuckle. They both are stunned as Stevens escapes their grasps and pulls himself back in.
Blackfront: Stevens is safe! He’s still in this thing!
Ace: For now! Just wait!
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Death Dealer” by The Enigma TNG hits the PA system, the fans cheer.
Blackfront: Uh Oh! Thing’s have just gotten a little more interesting.
Ace: OH no! Not Crimson Lord! He can’t face Kendrix!
Crimson Lord comes through the curtain, aimed for the ring, and doesnt stop for anything. He walks down stern and ready. Making sure his gear is tight. He gets to the ring, climbs the apron, and steps over the top rope. Here comes THE Jay Harvey, He gets clotheslined down! Here comes Ross, he catches a big boot to the face and falls near the ropes.
Blackfront: Theo Baylor now with a big right hand on Crim...It didn;t phase him! Another one from Baylor, and once again Crimson Lord shakes it off! Lord kicks him in the gut and shoots him off the ropes, he comes back… TOSS UP SAMOAN DROP on the near 300 pounder!
Ace: What is Bobby Dean doing?
Dean now is standing but is behind Crimson Lord, Every time Lord turns Bobby turns with him and matches his every move. He’s trying to stay out of the eye sight of Crimson Lord. Lord turns, Bobby turns with him. Finally as the crowd laughs, Crimson Lord realizes something is afoot. He finally catches Dean who instantly drops to his knees and begs Crimson Lord not to hit him. Lord picks him back up and strikes him, and strikes him again.
Blackfront: Crimson Lord wants to get at Mikey and Kendrix at any cost lately, this match could be a great way to do just that!
Ace: You shut your mouth Jason! I’m still pulling for Harvey!
Crimson Lord pulls Bobby to the middle of the ring dazed. Lord backs up and uses the ropes for momentum as he moves forward with a huge big boot. Bobby begins to step backwards as he holds his face. He backs right into Chris Ross who telegraphs it. Bends over and propells Bobby Dean up and over the top rope and to the floor.
Jordan: BOBBY DEAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The fans boo.
Blackfront: There goes Bobby Dean!
Ace: These people act like he was a favorite to win this thing. But hey! Chris Ross got Bobby Dean twice in one day!
Blackfront: I think a lot of that had to do with Crimso…
Ace: GREAT JOB BOSS!
Blackfront: We’ve got four entrants left, let’s see who drew number seven.
“Half Crazy” by The Barr Brothers hits the PA system and once more the people laugh. Through the curtain come both of the Dibbins brothers. The team are happy to be on the show tonight! They start running down the ramp and Duke slides in the ring. Luke climbs onto the ring apron, and moves to the corner and grabs the tag rope waiting…
Ace: You have got to be kidding me! These guys think this is a tag match!
Duke runs in and goes right for Crimson Lord. He dives and forearms him in the back. He then begins to club away, once more The Crimson Lord is unphased by the attack. On the other side of the ring Harvey and Ross are working on trying to get Baylor over the top rope. Scott Stevens comes out of nowhere and actually tries HELPING the pair! The three of them have his legs in the air, but he hangs on to the ring apron keeping his balance.
Crimson Lord turns and swats Duke away. He falls to the mat, and gets back up. Crimson Lord see’s the men trying to eliminate Baylor and moves in to help. Duke runs and dives on the back of Crimson Lord. Applying the sleeper hold, Duke wrenches away. Crimson Lord continues to moves toward the pile, ignoring the man on his back. The hold seems to have no effect coming from the 180 pound hillbilly. Crimson Lord reaches in and gives the last push needed to send Theo Baylor up and over.
Jordan: THEO BAYLOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Crimson finally turns around and slams Duke off his back hard! He picks up the Dibbins brother and benches him into a gorilla press.
Blackfront: Here comes Luke! Kick to the gut of Crimson! He felt that one! Duke is free. The tag team hit the ropes and come back…. OH NO! Crimson Lord caught them both by the neck! He lifts and chokeslams both men down hard!
Luke is the first to his feet. Crimson Lord tosses him by the back of the neck over the rope and out.
Blackfront: Luke is not the legal man, he’s not officially even in this match.
Ace: Well he’s out now, just in case! Here comes the other one!
Crimson sees Duke coming and ducks. He backdrops him over the top rope, and down onto his “little” brother.
Jordan: DUKE DIBBINS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Blackfront: No folks, Duke Dibbins will NOT be the new number one contender in this all or no…
Ace: I’ll say it one more time Jason! ONE MORE TIME! It’s NOT ALL OR NOTHING!
The fans cheer as Crimson Lord helped clean house.
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
“Revolution” by Sirsy hits and even though it’s not the guy the fans were chanting for they absolutely go nuts when Impulse comes through the curtain and heads for the ring. The cheers increase significantly, however, when they see him sort of dragging a leg behind him, with a large bruise (not a little bruise) on his forehead and a bandage taped to the back of his head. Dried blood is caked into his hair in parts; the remnants of Chris Ross’ prior attack, but he looks determined to compete.
Blackfront: Impulse comes out at number eight and even with the beating he survived earlier, you have to believe he could easily be a favorite to win this thing. Meanwhile both men who started this match, Scott Stevens and THE Jay Harvey are BOTH still in this match. We have two left to enter, and three have been eliminated.
Ace: Who’s the lucky bastard who drew number ten!?
Impulse slides in the ring and goes right for Chris Ross. The fans come alive as Impulse starts lighting up Chris with forearm after forearm after forearm. Chris falls in the corner and Impulse backs up and comes running, He’s cut off by THE Jay Harvey who clotheslines him as he comes at Ross. Stevens has taken a hell of a beating and lays in another corner trying to collect his breath. Crimson Lord back in it now as he goes after Harvey and backs him into a corner. Harvey tries to run out, but is caught and tossed back in before getting clubbing shots to the side of the face over and over.
“Andy Murray” Clap Clap Clapclapclap
Crimson Lord turns and hip tosses Harvey out of the corner, and over halfway across the ring. Harvey reaches for his back the second he lands and yells in pain. He stands up and finds Scott Stevens waiting for him.
Blackfront: Toxic Sting! HE HIT IT! Harvey is down! Once again Impulse is going for Chris Ross. Both men are in the corner and Impulse lifts Ross onto the turnbuckle in a seated position. Impulse follows him up now! This is a very precarious position now! Impulse with a hurricanrana out of the corner!
Chris Slams down on the mat, and is lifted right up by Crimson Lord. Ross rakes the eyes and escapes the clutches of the big man, but as he turns he catches one of Impulses biggest moves…
Blackfront: SUDDEN IMPACT!
The superkick sends Ross backpedaling and over the top rope to the outside of the ring.
Jordan: CHRIS ROSS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
And the fans once more are on their feet. Chris Ross is down on the outside and appears to be out. He doesn't move very much. The countdown begins once more.
Ace: Number 9!
“A Country Boy Can Survive” by Hank Williams Jr hits the PA system.
Ace: WHAT!? NO! WHERE ARE ALL THESE BIG GUYS COMING FROM! BRING DUKE DIBBINS BACK OUT HERE! KENDRIX WANTS TO FACE DUKE!
Blackfront: Here comes David Hightower! He’s coming out at number 9 you gotta believe he’s got a GREAT shot at winning here.
Inside the ring Impulse has locked up with THE Jay Harvey and is taking control as Harvey is very tired at this point. Crimson Lord and Scott Stevens are both up and looking at one another. Stevens comes out of the corner, on wobbly legs, and tells Crimson Lord to bring it. The fans catch this and get excited. Lord smirks at Stevens and slowly they walk toward one another. That’s when Hightower decides to hit the ring. He gets in and goes right after Crimson Lord. He knocks down Lord with a big kick, and then grabs Scott Stevens, whips him off the ropes, lifts him above his head and tries to toss him over the top rope, but Stevens holds on again! He lands on the apron. Hightower turns his attention back to Crimson Lord.
Hightower lifts his arms up for an ax handle smash but Lord shoots an arm up to the gut of David. Which stops him for just a second, finally both men are up and punching back and forth. The fans cheer and boo with every shot depending on who lands it. FInally Crimson Lord gets the advantage and goes for an even bigger shot, Hightower ducks it and when Lord turns around he eats a elbow and then shoots Crimson Lord off the ropes. On the return, Hightower hits a big powerslam that shakes the ring.
Blackfront: Hightower only six foot two inches but he’s jacked to the gills folks.
The Andy Murray chants break out again as the fans know there is only one more entrant to go.
Impulse backs up and kicks again, this time for Harvey, Jay Harvey ducks the Sudden Impact and Impulse turns around.
Ace: WAKE UP CALL!
Blackfront: That lifting knee to the face has Impulse fallen against the ropes. Harvey follows up with a clothesline over the top rope! Impulse hangs on and begins to skin the cat! Impulse is still…
Out of nowhere comes Chris Ross with a steel chair. As Impulse began to pull himself back up and into the ring Chris Ross side swings the chair and connects with the back of the head of Impulse. He drops like a sack of potatoes.
Jordan: IMPULSE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Blackfront: Dammit Chris Ross! He never left the ringside area after being eliminated!
Ross hits Impulse again with the chair. Boooooooooooooooooooo
Ace: YES! YES! YES!
Finally security steps in and the medical team gets to Impulse. The fans boo the piss out of Chris Ross as he walks up the ramp with the chair, admiring the dent he put in it.
Back in the ring David Hightower has Crimson Lord tied up in the turnbuckle and is choking him with both hands. Scott Stevens on the other side of the ring has Jay Harvey outside on the ring apron, and the two are fighting one another. Harvey get’s the better of the exchange. He kicks Stevens through the ropes right in the midsection. He doubles over and Harvey rolls overtop with a sunset flip. He pushes Stevens through and up to his feet where he connects with a beautiful standing dropkick.
Blackfront: And for the last time tonight, the countdown is on!
“AN-DY MURRAY! AN-DY MURRAY! AN-DY MURRAY!”
“AN-DY MURRAY! AN-DY MURRAY! AN-DY MURRAY!”
“AN-DY MURRAY! AN-DY MURRAY! AN-DY MURRAY!”
“Hail to The King Baby” by The Heavy Eyes hits the PA system and the crowd loses it. The cheers rain down from every corner as Andy Murrays theme song plays over the loudspeakers.
Blackfront: No way! Andy Murray is in this thing!?
Every fan in the arena is on their feet, through the curtain comes Andy. Dressed per usual! His black bomber jacket with gold trim on, the long black tights, even the black boots and laces. It appears Andy is still dressed from the earlier match he could not finish.
With his head down and a WrestleUTA hat on he comes out to the end of the stage, at the mouth of the ramp. The bandaged shoulder can be seen behind the jacket.
Blackfront: He’s here! Andy Murray WILL COMPETE IN THIS MATCH!
Suddenly the track stops to the sound of a record scratch, and an ALL too familiar MIDI begins to play. The lights come up and the man removes the bomber jacket
“This Fire Burns” By Killswitch Engage (MIDI Version) replaces the track.
Ace: IT”S JACK HUNTER!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Please tell me Mikey is behind this!
Blackfront: There is no doubt in my mind partner!
The fans get angry very fast realizing this is not their man. Some of the folks laugh and clap anyway, happy to see Jack Hunter back under the WrestleUTA umbrella. The majority of the response is nuclear heat however.
Jack Hunter runs down to the ring, no shopping cart full of goodies this time, but he does have something in his waistband that shines in the light. Jack runs for the ring slides in, and looks around. He see’s everyone is otherwise preoccupied so Jack reaches down the front of his pants…
(not that far)
And pulls out a pair of handcuffs. Jack laughs maniacally. He stops, and when he realizes no one was paying attention, he runs over and taps Scott Stevens on the shoulder, moves back to the middle of the ring, and laughs loudly again for all to see.
Hunter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ALL YOU SILLYMEN ARE BELONG TO ME! ‘TIS I, THE SUPERBEAST, AKA THE LITTLE BRUISER, AKA LIL’ BROOZY… AKA THE UNDEFEATEDABLEIFIED 754-0 DEBUTANT… HASH TAG NEWER STREAK! HERE TO MAKE MY DEBUT IN THE, IN A PLACE I HAVE NEVER BEEN BEFORE, BECAUSE I AM MAKING MY DEBUT FOR THE FIRST TIME, NOT THE SECOND, HERE IN A CITY FULL OF SILLYMEN WITH SILLYWIVES! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Scott Stevens simply goes back to putting the boots on Jay Harvey as Jack runs to an empty corner of the ring and handcuffs himself to the top rope. He then points to his head.
Blackfront: Jack Hunter handcuffs himself to the top rope! He cannot be eliminated…
Ace: Wow… that’s relatively...smart!
Jack runs back and forth across one side of the ring, where he can go before a turnbuckle cuts off his handcuffs and stops him. He swipes at Crimson Lord, and misses by about 3 feet. He then runs to the other corner and swipes at Stevens who also dismisses Jack. Hunter starts stomping now, clearly frustrated he can’t street fight anyone. Finally however his wish is granted. Out of nowhere David Hightower comes running and clotheslines Jack over the top rope. The handcuffs pop and break. Jack hunter slams down on the outside and looks up at his wrist unbelievably at the half handcuff still on his wrist.
Ace: They were plastic!?
The dangling piece of handcuff still hangs from the top rope, what is now clearly plastic pieces of “chain” lie around the ringside area.
Blackfront: That appears to be the case Tommy. Those handcuffs broke pretty easily. David Hightower packs a hell of a punch.
Jordan: JACK “ANNIE MURRAY” HUNTER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Blackfront: We’re down to our final four folks! One of these men will walk away from this match as the Number One Contender to Kendrix’ World Championship.
Ace: And THE Jay Harvey has lasted longer than anyone!
Blackfront: Scott Stevens has been in there the same amount of time.
Ace: Yea but no one cares about Stevens!
THE Jay Harvey scopes out who is still in the ring with him. He drops to the mat and rolls out on the floor. He did not go over the top so he is still legal in this match. Inside the ring Crimson Lord sits in one corner catching his breath. David Hightower now turns his attention to Scott Stevens.
Ace: Uh oh… Bye bye Stevens!
Hightower picks up Stevens off the mat, scoops and slams him down with authority. Stevens arches his back and feels the sting. Hightower picks him back up and does it once more.
Blackfront: Looks like David Hightower, is softening up Stevens for elimination.
Crimson Lord begins to get up and head over towards Hightower, but that's when THE Jay Harvey slides back inside the ring behind him and immediately takes the giant down with a chop block to the back of the leg. Crimson Lord hits the mat like a ton of bricks. Harvey, ever the opportunist, picks up the same leg, and drops and elbow to the inside of it. He follows up with two more before moving the leg to the ropes. He places his foot on the ropes, hops up and slams down on the ankle of Crimson Lord.
Lord reaches out in pain for the ankle but Harvey is setting him up again!
He puts the foot back, bounces and drops!
Blackfront: Every one of those ankle shots by Jay Harvey are going to play a large role in Crimson Lord being able to lift someone over the ropes!
Harvey now being booed by the crowd, does a circle in the ring and barks back at the fans. He then walks back over to Crimson Lord who still is holding his ankle.
Harvey stomps his shoulder then sets up the foot one more time. He places the foot on the rope, he jumps, and…
Blackfront: WOAH! Crimson Lord just planted his good foot on the backend of THE Jay Harvey and pushed him up and over as he jumped!
Jordan: THE JAY HARVEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The fans cheer loudly as we’re down to the final three.
Blackfront: We have David Hightower, Crimson Lord, and Scott Stevens still in this matchup! Stevens has been in this match since it began! What an effort from the Texan!
The camera cuts to Stevens as he tries to stand up. When the camera shows him the crowd grows with noise. The crowd starts a dueling chant.
“Let’s go Stevens! CRIMSON LORD!”
“Let’s go Stevens! CRIMSON LORD!”
“Let’s go Stevens! CRIMSON LORD!”
Meanwhile David Hightower seems to be the aggressor as he lifts up Crimson Lord and buries a fist into the top of his head. Crimson rocks but doesn’t fall. Again Hightower with a yuge right cross. Crimson sways again.
Ace: You gotta give it up to Harvey though Jason, the man lasted longer than anyone!
Blackfront: Except Scott Stevens…
Ace: Oh would you stop!
David Hightower now heads for Crimson Lord but Scott Stevens hops on his back. David begins to panic and backpedal abit. He gets to the point where his back (and Stevens) are on the ropes. Stevens wrenches away at a headlock hoping it takes the big man off his feet and away from the precarious position he finds himself in.
Crimson Lord is slow to get up. He tries to run toward the duo but falls to a knee when he tries to step on the bad foot. He looks at his ankle, rubs it, and gets angry. Hightower has faded a bit on the other side. Crimson looks up again and stands. He limps over and drops a shot to the gut of Hightower, that bends him over. With a right hand he takes down Stevens. Knocks him off the back of Hightower and over the top rope.
Blackfront: Stevens is over! Stevens is ….NOT OUT!
With a thud Scott Stevens lands on the ring apron hard. He reaches for his back before realizing he’s about to fall out of the ring, and grabs the bottom rope for balance. Stevens smartly pulls himself away from the action.
Crimson Lord tries a big boot and fails. His bad leg won’t let him do it. He falls. Hightower lifts him by his hair, helping him to his feet. Now Hightower punches, forearm, kick, punch. He scoops Crimson Lord and has him in a fall away position. Hightower with a grunt lifts him, and puts him on the top turnbuckle on his back and tries to dump him over.
Crimson Lord is aware enough to hold the rope and the pole of the turnbuckle to keep his balance. The fans boo as Hightower keeps pressing harder and harder trying to get Lord over. He finally begins to get some leverage and Lord’s legs lift higher and higher in the air. The fans get on their feet.
Ace: Hightower almost has him! Yes! Get Crimson Lord out of there!
Hightower climbs to the first turnbuckle for extra leverage, he gets his arms under the hip of Lord and keeps pushing, lifting, trying to pry him from his grip and drop him to the outside.
Blackfront: What’s Scott Stevens doing!?
Stevens is in the opposite corner. He’s stood up and he’s eyeing the situation careful. He looks from Hightower, to the crowd.
The fans react and come alive. Stevens nods, wipes the sweat that drips from his face. Runs toward the pair, he half jumps, half dives at Hightower.
Almost as if in slow motion, Stevens hits Hightower who loses his grip. Crimson Lord still holds on, but David Hightower goes flying overtop of him and falls to the floor, Hightowers hand smacks against the steel steps on the way down. He clenches it right away and yells out after the horrific fall.
Blackfront: HIGHTOWER IS OUT! STEVENS GOT HIGHTOWER!
JORDAN: DAVID HIGHTOWER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Ace: Oh no… Oh no… Oh no…
Tommy Ace’s commentary/worrying is barely audible over the eruption from the crowd as a replay is shown where Hightower is eliminated from another angle.
Blackfront: Scott Stevens asked our owner Mikey Unlikely for an opportunity tonight and Mikey tried to stiff him but by god this man has seized the opportunity! And look at him now!
Stevens pulls Crimson Lords legs down. He helps him regain his balance. The fans haven’t stopped cheering yet. As Lord stands back down Stevens lights him up right away with right after right after right. Lord is now slouched in the corner. Stevens climbs up to the second turnbuckle and starts the ever famous 10 punch combo. The fans chant along.
And just like that Crimson Lord reaches through the legs of Stevens, lifts and powerbombs him directly in the middle of the ring. Both men lie on the mat. Stevens is knocked silly, Crimson Lord reaches for his ankle and breathes heavily.
Blackfront: Crimson Lord has had recent run ins with Mikey Unlikely. While Scott Stevens believes its his destiny to be WrestleUTA World Champion! This could go either way Tommy!
Ace: HEYYYYY LOOK WHO IT IS!
Blackfront: Mikey Unlikely and Kendrix have decided to get a closer look at this one folks. They now stand on our stage watching the action in the ring.
The crowd boos loudly at the Hollywood Bruvs. They ignore the crowd. Obvs!
Crimson Lord is the first to move, he rolls over to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up. He limps and tries to walk it off, thats when he notices the new audience. Crimson Lord goes to the edge of the ring facing the duo and points out to them and begins to mouth something. Behind him Stevens is stirring. The fans ruin any chance of a surprise as they cheer as Stevens gets up. Stevens once again tries to quickly on Crimson Lord. Crimson isn’t paying attention. At the last second it’s apparent he’s not looking at Mikey and JFK. He’s watching the enourmous screen right behind them.
Just in time Crimson turns, puts an arm down, and hip tosses a surprised Scott Stevens over the top rope and to the floor.
DING DING DING
Jordan: SCOTT STEVENS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER AND NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE WRESTLEUTA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP…. CRIIIIIIMMMMMMSSSSSOOOOOOONNNNNNNN LLLLLOOOOOORRRRRDDDDDD!!!
The fans cheer for Crimson Lord. Who hasn’t moved since he threw out Stevens. With one hand on the ropes he slowly moves his head from the floor where his last opponent lies, up to where his next one stands.
Mikey and JFK banter back and forth but Kendrix eye’s never leave Crimson Lord’s.
Blackfront: Wow! What a matchup that was! Crimson Lord is the new number one contender for the WrestleUTA World Championship!
Ace: I can’t believe it Jason! What are we going to do!?
Ace: You wouldn’t understand.
Blackfront: Nevertheless folks, join us in two weeks time when we are live once more, right here on HULU and catch the fallout of this incredible match!
The scene fades Crimson Lord looking up the ramp at the bruvs.
Results compiled and archived with the Efed Management Suite
- Kentucky Tarzan