The Pandemonium intro video begins to play after a few moments, it comes to a screeching halt. Soon, the Make America Great Again logo burst through the images on the screen before we are taken to Melissa Diaz standing in front of an FWF banner.
Diaz: Welcome to a special edition of Pandemonium on Fite.TV. I'm Melissa Diaz, and tonight we are going to hear from some of the superstars participating in the upcoming Make America Wrestle Again on Christmas Day.
We have the #MAWA logo come up for a few moments.
Diaz: While tonight we wont be bringing the action you've grown accustomed to from the FWF, we will be digging deeper into the mindsets of those who have certainly made an impact over the last few weeks. Regular Pandemonium action, will return n 2020. Lets start the show.
She smiles as we fade.
A quick FWF logo flashes over the screen as we transition to a live feed. Either the camera crew is getting weird, or coincidentally all had to use the restroom at the same time. Regardless, we find ourselves in a large bathroom. The camera stops deadpan on a large figure hunched over the sink.
Lunchbox Larry, clearly flustered, cups his hands together under the streaming faucet and brings them up to splash his already wet face with water. His shiny, black hair is already disheveled and only gets worse from the ensuing head shake.
He lifts his chin until he ends up looking at his reflection eye to eye.
Lunchbox: MAWA preview interview time, Boxman… you got this…
His head starts to nod as he straightens up his posture, maintaining eye contact with himself.
Lunchbox: Remember, no crowd tonight!
Lunchbox: And, heck, even if there was a crowd… all one, right?
He raises his right hand up above his shoulder, the index finger the only one pointed up.
Lunchbox: All one! What’s that sm-
Larry sniffs the air loudly, looking over each shoulder. To his sudden fright, one of the toilet stall doors swings open with a cloud of smoke and a coughing fit following with it.
As cool as ever, Kenneth Williams waltzes out of the stall. The ever present joint hanging out the corner of his mouth.
He takes a long drag and blows the smoke toward Larry, who recoils.
Williams: Maybe all you need is weed to get rid of that fear you got… Boxman.
Kenneth winks as he repeats Larry’s self-given nickname during the recent mirror pep talk.
Larry straights up, ensuring every inch of his height goes noticed, and clears his throat.
Lunchbox: I- uh… what fear? No fears here. Just like the crowd, am I right?
Larry chuckles nervously. Kenneth grows half a smirk across his face.
Williams: Right on, man. No crowd out there, for sure. Just a whole lotta more people streaming this hype through Fite…
The color drains from Larry’s face.
Williams: Must be… ahhh, I dunno… I can’t even imagine the number! Could break six digits when all’s said and done. Awesome stuff, huh?
Kenneth, not showing any ill intent at all, grows a full smile and reaches out to pat the larger Larry on the shoulder. Larry flinches. Not ‘cause Kenneth’s black, either. Don’t even with that.
Lunchbox: S-sorry… y-y-yeah… th-that’s awww-aawwwesome.
Kenneth takes another long puff off the j. Blowing it, this time, away from Larry. He’s not a dick like that.
Williams: Right on, man. Well good luck next week, huh? I’ll be expecting you to bring your A game, ‘cause I’ll be packing that HiiiiiiiiiiPOWER baby!
He sticks the jib back in his mouth and starts sucking while throwing a high five up to his future opponent in the World Title tourney.
Only one eyebrow on Larry’s face raises as he looks at Kenneth like he lost his damn mind.
Kenneth lowers the hand.
Williams: Seeya next week.
Kenneth leaves the bathroom. Larry, out of his peripheral vision, notices the camera crew catching all the action.
Lunchbox: Don’t tell me that’s my interview time…
The camera pans hard right and you can hear another crew member whispering. The man behind the camera then relays.
Cameraman: Ya got a few seconds left.
Larry sighs, throwing an exasperated arm toward the camera.
Lunchbox: Whatever. Hope you got the munchies, Ken… ‘cause I’ve gotta knuckle sandwich… with your name on it, probably…
By the time he’s done the catchphrase, he’s out the door. Scene fades.
Shawn Kutter is shown backstage sitting in a corner on a metal chair all by himself. As the camera begins to zoom in, Shawn stares into it. He’s determined, he’s pissed off, he’s ready to fight. The camera zooms to a close up. Shawn taps the bat on the cement floor below his feet in a rhythmic fashion.
Shawn: This is my bat. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My bat is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my bat is useless. Without my bat, I am useless. I must swing my bat true. I must bludgeon my enemy who is trying to bludgeon me. I must destroy him before he destroys me. I will destroy him. My bat and I know that what counts in wrestling is not the swings we take, the bruises we receive, the blood that is drawn, nor the championships we win. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit. My bat is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its handle and its barrel. I will keep my bat clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will be one. Before God, I swear this creed. My bat and I are the defenders of my life. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
Shawn pauses, and looks down at his bat, and back up to the camera.
Shawn: So be it, until victory is mine and there is no enemy, but Shawn Kutter!
The scene cuts back to the arena and Shawn continues tapping the bat into the cement.
We fade into a brief FWF logo introduction that brings to a MAWA backdrop and a beautifully dressed Christmas tree nearby with none other than our hero Kenneth Williams doing his own usual tree blowing before looking at the camera and starting some good old school style promo hype.
Williams: In six days the event that we all have been dyin’ for will begin. Such a sweet beautiful present if you ask me. Ever since Dick Fury came in and started layin’ down the long dick of the law, it seems like the holidays have seemed more jollier. So to begin this program let’s give the big ol’ Dick all the pleasure and love he deserves.
Kenneth pauses and starts to think about the words that just rolled out off his tongue.
Williams: That sounded wrong. But I guess when you’re name is Dick, everything’ does. So let’s continue ladies and gentlemen, despite the terrible word placement. My next known opponent on my road to capture the is another man with good intentions in this company, Lunchbox Larry.
Kenneth takes a drag of his blunt and exhales as he speaks.
Williams: I recently had a run-in with my man and tried to lift his confidence and keep his spirits up but whatever nervous condition he has, it sure has him on the grips. I want to give him some final advice before our match in this tournament. You denied my weed for reasons I understand. I might have come on too strong but that nervousness you have is very unneeded my friend. I mean look around. You are in the semi-finals of a World Championship Tournament. You performed in front of thousands of the FWF fans and kicked ass.
Kenneth takes another drag and exhales and begins speaking again.
Williams: You and I will definitely be the highlight of this series of bouts to get the gold. I just need you to find yourself if you really hope to defeat me because I know deep down in my heart that I will be goin’ onto the finals after our bout. But I want you to develop after this because you’ll be more than just the guy who lost to the future World Champion in the semi-finals.I actually hope defend that title against you and maybe your confidence will be uprgaded because now you have no chance against The Human Highlight Reel.
Kenneth pauses and then remembers the other competitors in the tournament.
Williams: Oh and Jace Wheeler and Ragin’ Dead…
He takes a drag and exhales as he begins to speak again.
Williams: You two just give me those asshole vibes. Jace easily has douche of the year award in my opinion. Ragin’ Dead and this alter ego thing is scary is next level though. I mean we bitin’ folks now? You two will definitely learn a great lesson at MAWA as well. Nice guys DON’T finish last. But you two will get more heat later I’ve got more weed to collect and more gymtime to trai to defeat each and every one of you. So before we leave, I want to wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year because you will definitely need it. This is your friendly neighborhood stoner signin’ off!
He winks as the camera fades out.
Dark images flash across the screen of The Raging Dead. Half man, half monster, half wrestler. Three halves? You betcha. Shots of Pandemonium 3, where is debut was so terrifying that Brandon Moore ran all the way home. Shots of Pandemonium 4, where he entered and dominated the Wild Card Rumble. That's where The Raging Dead punched his ticket to Make America Wrestle Again where he will compete in and ultimately conquer the FWF World Championship Tournament. As the advert ends, we see the living room at the Gust Compound. Seated amongst the Christmas decorations are Ricky, Chris, Sara… and a few of their friends… whose names are not important.
Ricky: Maaaannn. Make America Wrestle Again is going to be the best FWF show of all time.
Chris: I think it's only the fifth show of all time… so that's not too impressive.
Ricky: Oh I'm so sorry for being excited about a fresh, new company. I can't handle the same old garbage the OTHER one puts on TV every week. How does a show that's been on for over twenty years only have the same six guys fake fighting every week?
Chris: Watch that F word. Sara hates that.
Sara: No, it's fine. They're pure, unfiltered trash. FWF is the shiny new toy that everyone wants to play with. The other company is just a sack of coal.
Ricky: I assume you're heading out to Beaumont next week with Nate.
Sara: I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Ricky: Who is your pick to walk out with the gold?
Sara: Stupid question. If I picked anyone but my husband… then something would be seriously wrong.
Chris: My money is on Lunchbox Larry… if I put money on it, I guess.
Chris: He's the biggest dog in the fight. Dude has some serious power behind him. Also, he's entertaining beyond comparison.
Ricky: You're crazy! I'm all about the Human Highlight Reel… Kenneth Williams. I was a big fan before he left the game. As soon as I found out he was at FWF… they gained a fan.
Sara: They didn't gain you as a fan by signing… oh… your brother-in-law?!
Into the room comes Stephanie, the young daughter of Sara and Nathan.
Stephanie: I like FWF. That's where daddy does zombie things.
Sara: Do you think daddy will bring home the World Title on Cheistmas?
The room gets quiet.
Stephanie: I like the hipster guy.
Sara: Jace Wheeler?!
Stephanie: Yeah, mom! A wrestler is only as good as his workout playlist!
She laughs and skips out of the room, leaving the occupants of the room in complete shock. Not a creature is stirring. Not even a mouse. All that is heard is a low growl from a dark corner… where The Raging Dead gets up from his recliner and grumbles angrily out of the living room… as the show goes back to our regularly scheduled programming.
We fade up into an office. Not any office, but the office of Dick Fury. We know it is his office, as Dick is sitting behind the desk. However, in unusual fashion, he is wearing a normal gray suit. Looking up at the camera, Dick begins to speak.
Fury: It's been quite a month for the FWF. People have come, people have gone.. people have. come back?
He pauses for a moment before continuing.
Fury: But the biggest thing is that it's almost over. As Make America Wrestle Again comes next week, airing on Fite.TV on Christmas Day, we look not back but forward. To the future of the Fans Wrestling Alliance.
Dick pushes his chair back from his desk and stands up, adjusting his coat before walking around his desk. As he comes to the front of it, he sits on the edge.
Fury: There are going to be changes coming in 2020, and everyone in the FWF is very excited about them. Starting January 8th, when Pandemonium returns to Fite.TV, we will begin streaming every other Wednesday with a more action packed show. More matches. More entertainment.
He seems genuinely excited.
Fury: We will be harnessing our web and social media presence more as well, offering exclusive content found only on TheFWF.com and signing the best talent in wrestling today.
Fury: 2020 will be a year of growth and change, and we welcome you to join us on this wild adventure. But, before then, tune in on December 25th and catch Make America Wrestle Again, where we will crown the first FWF World Champion. Until then... enjoy the holidays!
The camera pans out and we fade.
Results compiled and archived with the Efed Management Suite
"JESUS SHIT TITS"
- Kentucky Tarzan