Early reports indicate that a mentally ill fan from Oregon broke down into tears after being denied an autgraph from his hero and UTA superstar, The Dooze, after traveling across the United States to get one.
It has been said that little Scott Lavigne asked the DREAM Hall of Famer to autograph his bare chest. After politely refusing to do so, in fear of what it could do to the mental states of all the other young children present, poor Scott spat out something about Doozer chatting with all the other kids all day and ran off in a crying fit.
More to come.
"Hope you’re hungry! ‘Cause I got a Knuckle Sandwich... WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"
- Lunchbox Larry