The show cuts to the parking lot area where we see several body guards making their way through the area. As we get a closer look, we can see
a man in behind them, but as usual his face cannot be made out, but we recognize him as the man calling himself "The Investor". They come to
the main doors of the arena and make their way inside. The same guard that gave the investor issues previously is once again by the arena
doors. The two men shove him aside and the three continue down a long hallway. The Investor stops, and looks back, just shy of revealing his
Man: I told you I'd be back. Now you're fucked!
He turns back and follows the men until they come to a door marked "The Boss, Tim Ross". They knock at the door and a response is almost
Ross: What you want? Can't you peeps see a nigga is busy?
Man: Kinda hard to see through a door, "nigga". Open the fuck up, you know who it is.
There isnt another reply, just the door cracking open and the men walking in. The view changes and shows the office from a door view, where
once again all we can make out is the back of the man. We now see that he is is carrying a briefcase. Tim Ross goes to stand to greet him,
but the man holds up his hand.
Man: Let's skip the formalities and get right down to business. And you dont need to speak, get it? I will do ALL the talking. Now, I'm sure
you know what having me invest in your company can do for your ratings and overall personal gain and well being. That is why I made sure to
bring you a more than generous offer. The only possible downfall for you is the fact that I want control in your company. Not complete
control cuz I am not ready to commmit fully to this federation yet, but if I don't like something, it stops. If it doesn't stop I pull the
Tim Ross goes to speak, but only manages to get a murmur of a word out.
Man: I told you I AM doing the talking. Just nod your head "foo".
Tim Ross reluctantly nods his head, not being known to be a man to back down.
Man: Good, now take a look at what is in here.
The two bodyguards part and the man throws the case onto the desk of Tim Ross. Ross keeps glaring at the man for a moment before he slowly
opens the case. As he does, he jaw drops at the content inside the case. He looks to the man then does a double take on the case to make sure
he seen it properly.
Man: I don't need your answer right this moment, take some time to let it sink in and really weigh the odds. I'll be in touch.
The two bodyguards start making their way out first so the man can continue to conceal his identity. The show cuts back to ringside for the
Wolf: Welcome everyone to Death Row Wrestling's first Internet pay Per View! I'm Waylong Wolf.
Ace: And I'm Tommy Ace.
Wolf: It's now time to see a great exhibition from our very competitive tag team division as we waste no time getting into the show!
Ring Announcer: This match is a special three way tag team match. During the course of this contest any competitor will be able to tag any other member of any team. Wrestlers will be eliminated by pinfall or submission and both members of the team will need to be eliminated, this match will continue until only one man stands.
"2 of Amerikas Most Wanted" by Tupac & Snoop Dogg starts to play.
Ring Announcer: Coming to the ring from Houston, Texas. They are Rodd Macc and Gutta Boy - The H-Town Hustlas!
The H-Town Hustla's make they're way through the curtain and out onto the stage.
Ring Announcer: The next team, from Albuquerque, New Mexico and at a combined weight of 382lbs, they are Rupture and Schism - The Fracture!
"New Disease" by Spineshank starts to play. Schism and Rupture burst through the curtain and sprint into the ring
Ring Announcer: And finally. at a combined weight of 510lbs. They are Jeff Andrews and Ronnie Long - The Untouchables!
"More Human Than Human" rips through the PA system. Jeff Andrews immediately storms through the curtains with his fists raised overhead, Ronnie Long follows him and stands atop the stage, raising his arms in the crucifix pose. The two men head to the ring and each hit one turnbuckle, Andrews again raising his fists and Long throwing up the crucifix.
Wolf: I'm not sure what to expect here.
Ace: Expect some carnage.
All six men are in the ring, standing in their respective corners.
Wolf: It'll be a member of Fracture and a member of The Untouchables to start things off.
Ace: This match will mean everything to these three teams, each desperate to stake some sort of claim over this division.
Rupture and Jeff Andrews circle each other in the ring, Rupture drops down for a quick single leg but Jeff Andrews moves out of the way.
Wolf: Remember this is a three way elimination tag, which will continue until only one man is left standing in the ring.
Andrews shoots behind Rupture and locks on a reverse waist lock, Rupture breaks Jeff Andrews's grip and counters the hold, before lifting him into the air and slamming him down to the canvas.
Ace: A little bit of amateur wrestling from Rupture, who now slides over and locks in a front face lock.
Jeff Andrews tries to counter it into a hammerlock but Rupture rolls with it and transitions into a reverse waist lock on the ground.
Wolf: Some lovely mat work at the moment, but I can see this breaking down any minute.
Rupture hits Jeff Andrews with a knee to the face and Jeff Andrews backs towards the ropes and puts his foot on the ropes.
Ace: Rope break!
The referee allows them to get to their feet before Jeff Andrews kicks Rupture in the mid section and sends him across the ring with an Irish whip, Andrews with a swift back elbow and he tags in his partner.
Wolf: Probably not the start Jeff Andrews wanted, but let's see what Ronnie Long has to offer.
Ronnie Long storms into the ring, knocking Rupture down with a lariat, Rupture springs to his feet and is sent to the ropes, Ronnie Long goes for a back bodydrop but Rupture leap frogs over him.
Ace: Great athleticism from Rupture.
Ronnie Long turns round and Rupture sweeps his legs with his hand and drops down for a cover.
Ronnie Long quickly kicks out sending Rupture rolling away.
Wolf: Far to early...
Ronnie Long goes for a leg sweep but Rupture jumps in the air avoiding contact. Ronnie Long then elbows Rupture in the midsection and snapmares him onto his back.
Ace: Great action here.
Ronnie Long sprints to the ropes and jumps in the air for an elbow drop.
Wolf: He missed!
Ronnie Long gets to his feet holding his elbow before Rupture sends him flying with an armdrag. Ronnie Long gets up not really knowing where he is and Gutta Boy slaps him across the back.
Ace: Gutta Boy just tagged himself in.
Wolf: I'm really looking forward to seeing these H-Town Hustlas in action.
Ace: They're a different breed from every other athlete in DRW in my opinion.
Gutta Boy throws a big roundhouse kick but Rupture blocks it and spins him the other way before lifting him up for a fireman's carry.
Wolf: What's he going to do here.
Gutta Boy hits Rupture with a big elbow forcing him to be dropped and landing on his feet. Gutta Boy then hits the ropes, he goes for a flying cross body block but Rupture catches him and turns it into a bodyslam.
Ace: That didn't pay off.
Wolf: Rupture tags in his partner Schism.
Schism leaps over the top rope, he kicks Gutta Boy who fires a stiff kick in return.
Ace: That'll sting his calf.
Gutta Boy whips Schism to the neutral corner, he runs in but Schism kicks him in the face.
Wolf: Boot to the face!
Ace: He just tasted the dog shit on his boot.
Schism sprints out of the corner, bounces off the ropes as Gutta Boy walks into the middle of the ring and eats a dropkick.
Wolf: It doesn't get much quicker than this.
Schism then whips Gutta Boy back into the neutral corner and charges him, but now Gutta Boy gets a boot up.
Ace: He should have seen that coming.
Gutta Boy now sprints out of the corner, bounces off the ropes but Schism jumps into the air and pulls out a dropkick.
Wolf: Great elevation.
Schism gets a pick cocky and starts to celebrate before Jeff Andrews tags himself in.
Ace: He needs to keep his mind on the game.
Wolf: Remember, anyone can tag anyone in.
Jeff Andrews pulls up Gutta Boy and hits a forearm smash that sends him leaning up against the ropes.
Wolf: Shots like that can dislocate your jaw.
Jeff Andrews tags in Ronnie Long, they push Gutta Boy up against the ropes and send him in the air with a big double hiptoss.
Ace: Seven minutes in and that's the first big of teamwork we've seen in this match.
The moment Gutta Boy lands, Rodd Macc storms into the ring, shoulder tackling Ronnie Long through the ropes to the outside.
Wolf: Macc has seen enough!
Rodd Mac then starts unloading on Jeff Andrews in the Fracture's corner.
Ace: The referee needs to gain some control here.
Schism and Rupture then enter the ring, the pull off Macc and send him to a corner.
Wolf: Now The Fracture are involved.
Ace: It was getting a little to close for comfort for them.
Rupture storms in and hits a vertical splash in the corner, the second he moves out the way Schism dives in with a big flying leg lariat.
Ronnie Long climbs onto the apron, he pulls back on the middle rope and shoulders Rupture in the stomach.
Wolf: Everyone's involved now.
All the wrestlers pair off, Ronnie Long and Rupture, Schism and Rodd Macc, Jeff Andrews and Gutta Boy and start brawling.
Ace: Six wrestlers, three teams and a useless referee!
Gutta Boy sends Jeff Andrews out of the ring and slides out of the ring to the ringside area. Rodd Macc doesn't take long until he is in control with Schism receiving some shots in the corner as Ronnie Long and Rupture are also at the ringside area exchanging big right hands.
Wolf: Schism is on the wrong end of a beating here.
Ace: Rodd Macc is 6'5 and 282lbs, and dominating!
The ring starts to clear out, with Macc and Schism left in the ring.
Wolf: Three great tag teams in action here.
Rodd Macc sends Schism across the ring into the opposite turnbuckle, he walks out holding his lower back, Macc then hoists him in the air for a Gorilla press slam...
Ace: Schism is only 184lbs, he could press that one handed if he wanted to.
Macc drops him down onto his back.
Wolf: That's a long way down!
Macc hooks a leg.
Wolf: He kicks out!
Rodd Macc lifts Schism up onto his shoulder and walks him around the ring.
Ace: Rupture is desperate to tag in and save his partner.
Wolf: I think the key to winning this game is to not loose a partner, is going to be very hard to win with one member eliminated.
Rodd Macc runs towards the neutral corner, he lifts up Schism...
Ace: Snake Eyes?
Schism manages to slide off the shoulder and land on his feet.
Ace: I don't think he knows where he is.
Macc turns round and swings a big right hand but Schism manages to duck it, he hits the ropes and ducks another clothesline before hitting the ropes on the far side.
Wolf: Schism needs to make a tag.
He dives into the air for a big cross body block but Rodd Macc catches him, throws him up onto his shoulder and tosses him face first into the top turnbuckle.
Ace: Snake eyes!
Rodd Macc looks smug as he pulls Schism away from the corner, but before he can turn around Jeff Andrews tags him on the back.
Wolf: Bling tag.
Andrews steps into the ring quickly drops down and covers Schism.
Wolf: He kicks out.
Ace: So close, how is he still going?
Jeff Andrews sits up Schism and locks him in a reverse chin lock.
Wolf: Schism is in a world of hurt at the moment.
Ace: I'm not sure just how long he will be able to last now.
Wolf: His tag team partner Rupture is going crazy on the apron, he's desperate to get in there.
Schism starts to get to his feet, he throws an elbow into the mid section of Jeff Andrews, doubling him over and one more forcing him to break the chin lock.
Ace: He's feeding off his tag team partner now!
Schism springs forward into the ropes, he bounces off them but Andrews steps to the side and executes a superkick.
Wolf: Right on the money!
Ace: Another cover.
Ace: He Kicks out, he kicks out!
Jeff Andrews reaches out and rags in Ronnie Long.
Wolf: It's good to see The Untouchables working together.
Andrews holds up Schism and Long connects with quick sort hand sending him to the canvas.
Ace: This really isn't looking good now.
Long pulls up Schism and sends him to the ropes, he cradles him into the air, turns and drops him down for a Blue Thunder Bomb.
He kicks out!
Ace: That was close.
Long pulls up Schism and puts him in The Untouchables corner.
Wolf: That corner is not where Schism wants to be.
Long with an Irish whip, he yanks the arm of Schism as he gets to the middle of the ring and throws him back into the original corner. Long runs at him but Schism throws up an elbow.
Ace: That halted him in his tracks.
Schism throws a martial arts kick to the back of the leg of Long who replies by swinging a big right hand. Schism ducks it and jumps up for a vertical dropkick.
Wolf: Long drilled in the face.
Schism starts to crawl towards his corner as Long gets to his feet.
Ace: He's just inches away from tagging in Rupture.
Long grabs the left leg of Schism as he is a whisper away from making the tag. Schism rolls onto his back, he pulls Long in and kicks him off sending him flying across the ring.
Wolf: He tags Rupture.
His team mate quickly enters the ring and runs towards Long, taking him off his feet with a flying leg lariat. Long is back to his feet quickly and taken off his feet with a back elbow.
Ace: Long has no idea where he is.
Long stumbles towards the corner of he H-Town Hustlas and Gutta Boy tags himself in. He enters the ring, Rupture swings a clothesline but Gutta Boy ducks it, he goes in for a single leg take down.
Wolf: He's going for the single crab.
Rupture hits him with a forearm and sends him to the ropes before knocking him down with a jumping leg lariat.
Ace: The Fracture could be about to get the first pinfall here.
Rupture grabs Gutta Boy from behind and lifts him up into a wheelbarrow, but Gutta Boy grabs him in a side headlock and counters it into a bulldog, he rolls him over.
Schism springboards from the apron, into the ring and breaks the pin attempt.
Ace: The Fracture are desperate to stay together as a team in this match.
As the referee tries to get Schism out of the ring, Rupture grabs the head of Gutta Boy and hooks his leg, rolling backwards.
Wolf: Small package....
With the referee still trying to get Schism out of the ring. Rodd Macc enters the ring and shifts the weight of the package so that Rupture's shoulders are now pinned to the canvas.
Ace: No... Ref!
The referee turns round and quickly drops down and counts.
Ace: Kick out!
Wolf: Rodd Macc can't believe that didn't work.
Gutta Boy sends Rupture to the ropes, but he reverses it and Gutta Boy bounces off, as he connects with the ropes tags himself in. Unable to stop his momentum Gutta Boy still comes off the ropes and takes Rupture down with a flying back elbow.
Ace: Long is going to be able to take advantage of this now.
Ronnie Long bends over Rupture and grabs him for a DDT but Rupture grabs the wrist and escapes as if he's doing a wristlock. Long throws a big clothes and Rupture ends up behind Ronnie Long.
Wolf: Lung Blower.
Jeff Andrews dives into the ring and breaks up the cover.
Wolf: Saved by his partner.
Rodd Macc enters the ring, he goes for a running boot on Andrews, but he ducks and he takes out Rupture. Ronnie Long throws an arm over for a loose cover.
Schism grabs the foot of Long and pulls him off Rupture.
Wolf: Nobody wants to loose their partner here.
Rupture gets to his feet as Long is pulling himself up on the ropes, he jumps up and again nails the Lung Blower.
Jeff Andrews tries to enter the ring but Schism dropkicks him off the apron.
Ring Announcer: Ronnie Long has been eliminated!
Ace: This is going to be really hard for Andrews to pick up the win for The Untouchables now.
Wolf: It took 21 minutes but we have our first elimination!
The Fracture start to celebrate but Rodd Macc enters the ring, he knocks Schism out of the ring but is then cut off by Rupture.
Ace: It's to early to celebrate.
Wolf: They need to keep their eyes on their opponents.
Rodd Macc sends Rupture to the ropes, he kicks him in the mid section and hooks one arm.
Ace: This could be it.
He sweeps his leg as he slams him backwards.
Wolf: That's Laying the Macc down!
Ring Announcer: Rupture has been eliminated.
Wolf: Now Fracture only has one member.
Ace: The advantage has to be with The H-Town Hustlas.
Jeff Andrews slides into the ring and ducks a clothesline from Macc, he doubles him over with a knee to the gut and grabs his head.
Wolf: Andrews is firing kick after kick to the head of Rodd Macc.
Ace: It's brutal, he's not stopping.
It looks like he's going to slow down but then he starts kicking even faster.
Wolf: He's going to knock him out cold in a minute.
Andrews lifts Macc up and pushes him back into the corner.
Ace: I think Rodd Macc has been busted wide open.
Wolf: Yes it definitely looks like blood is trickling down his face.
Andrews sits Macc up onto the top rope and chops him with an over hand chop.
Ace: It looks like he's taking him up top for a suplex.
Wolf: Andrews is now climbing up onto the middle rope.
Andrews hooks the head of Rodd Macc and lifts him for a superplex, but Macc holds onto the top ope.
Ace: He's not going anywhere!
Andrews headbutts the open wound on the head of Rodd Macc and he lets go of the top rope and stands him up.
Wolf: Vicious stuff from Jeff Andrews.
Gutta Boy runs down the apron and grabs the leg of his tag team partner.
Ace: That's the advantage of having both members of your team still in the match.
Schism enters the ring, he runs towards the corner and jumps onto the ropes at the side of where Jeff Andrews is trying to superplex Rodd Macc.
Wolf: Arabian powerbomb!
Andrews flies backwards towards the canvas and Macc stays sat on the top rope with Gutta Boy holing his leg.
Ace: We're seconds away from seeing both members of The Untouchables eliminated!
Rodd Macc stands up on the middle rope.
Wolf: We're not used to seeing the big man up there.
Macc jumps into the air for a big splash but Andrews rolls out of the way.
Ace: No water in the pool!
Macc rolls around holding his chest as Schism dives across the ring and hooks a leg.
He kicks out!
Ace: How on earth do The H-Town Hustlas still have both men in this!
Jeff Andrews gets up holding his head, Gutta Boy is now in the ring and firing kicks at him left right and centre.
Wolf: Gutta Boy sends Andrews to the corner, Andrews hits the turnbuckles hard.
Wolf: Big dropkick from Gutta Boy in the corner.
Andrews slumps down to the canvas holding his face as a bloody Rodd Macc gets to his feet.
Ace: He's still struggling for breath.
Macc pulls up Andrews and both he and Gutta Boy send him into the ropes.
Wolf: Off he comes and down he goes to a double shoulder tackle.
Ace: If they keep working a team, this match is there's.
Meanwhile Schism has climbed to the top rope and is standing in the far corner of the ring.
Ace: Look over there!
Both members of The H-Town Hustlas turn round at the same time as Schism dives into the air with a double cross bodyblock.
Wolf: The didn't see that coming did they?
Wolf: They both kick out at the same time sending Schism to the outside of the ring.
A bloody Rodd Macc turns round and takes a spinning heel kick from Jeff Andrews in the face.
Ace: Macc is sent out of the ring with the force of that.
Jeff Andrews hooks Gutta Boy for a suplex.
Wolf: It looks like he's going to try for the Legacy-Plex.
Gutta Boy counters and lands on his feet, he hooks Andrews in a reverse waistlock and pushes him to the ropes.
Ace: Roll up....
Wolf: That was about as close as it gets.
Ace: Gutta Boy used the force of the ropes for that move.
Wolf: Gutta Boy with a right hand to Andrews that sends him up against the ropes.
Andrews is sent across the ring with an Irish whip, he comes back off them and Gutta Boy charges at him, diving towards him in the air.
Ace: Clothesline? No
Wolf: Andrews misses the clothesline and Gutta Boy ends up flying through the ropes to the ringside floor.
Schism dives into the ring and gets armdragged.
Ace: Not the most impressive way to enter the ring.
Rodd Macc follows him in and gets arm dragged as well.
Wolf: Jeff Andrews of The Untouchables putting on a great show here.
Schism goes for a kick but Andrews catches it, he spins him around and Rodd Macc catches the foot.
Rodd Macc stays on his feet and stumbles a few steps towards Jeff Andrews who grabs his arm and twists it over his head.
Wolf: Andrews takes Macc down.
Andrews traps the free arm and pulls back on the Cobra Clutch with Macc laying on his front.
Ace: He calls this the Charm City Crossface.
Wolf: He's trying to get to the ropes but he's really struggling here.
Ace: He's nodding his head, he's telling the referee he's had enough.
Ring Announcer: Rodd Macc has been eliminated.
Andrews releases the hold and as he stands up and catches a dropkick to the face! Schism from the top rope with a drop kick! Gutta Boy slides into the ring from behind his two remaining opponents. Schism pins Andrews after hitting the dropkick as Gutta Boy tries to get to his feet after getting back in the ring
Announcer: Jeff Andrews Has Been Eliminated!
Wolf: It's down to Schism and Gutta Boy!
Gutta Boy begins kicking Schism before he can even get to his feet after the pin. He DDT'S Schism and rolls him up!
Ace: KICKOUT BY Schism!
Gutta Boy appears frustrated and argues with the referee about the count. As Schism gets to his feet Gutta Boy slings him into the corner turnbuckle! As he hits the turnbuckle against his back he falls to a sitting position in the corner dazed. Gutta Boy gets the crowd into the match by playing to them. He finally turns to face his still sitting opponent and runs at him for the BroncoBuster! Schism who was playing possum, jumps to his feet and meets Gutta Boy with a Spinning Wheel Kick!!!!! Gutta Boy hits the mat with a violent thud. Schism falls across Gutta Boy pulling up his right leg for a pin!!
Announcer: Winner by way of Pinfall, Schism of the tag team FRACTURE!!!
Ace: Unbelievable Match! Gutta Boy, I thought had this won!
Wolf: Amazing win for Fracture here at Death From Above! Great Tag Team Matchup Showing by all three teams here!
"My Old Self" by Wide Mouth Mason hits the Red Arena’s PA system as none other than Death Row’s newly-hired staffer appears on the big screen, in his hay-day, romping around the ring in one of his classic Dream Title matches. The sold-out stadium raises to its feet to greet the one and only Dooze with the standing ovation he grew so used to back in his prime. The aged vet takes a hesitant step out from guerilla position. His smile stretches from ear to ear as he scans sea of cheering fans still on their feet.
And then it starts. Slowly, and barely audible at first, as only the old followers scattered amongst the crowd begins at first... then it catches like wildfire as Doozer struts down to the ring in an all black suit with a Superman logo tie.
The chants subside as Death Row Wrestling’s newest staffer avoids his typical apron climb and casually takes the steps up to ringside. The Dooze walks across the ring and leans over the ropes to grab a microphone being handed to him by Waylon Wolf.
Doozer returns to the middle of the ring, rotating a full 360 degrees in order to take in all of the energy and excitement around him.
As he raises the mic to his mouth, a white sign in all black text catches his eye.
Doozer: [after a light chuckle] Well I missed you, too.
Big pop from the crowd. Doozers ear-to-ear grin somehow finds a way to stretch even wider.
Doozer: Damn, it feels good to be back. Even with Boss Ross breathin’ down my neck tryin’ to tell me how I ain’t worth a shit of what I used to be... and how I can’t throw my weight around like I used to.
The cheers died down and transform into light boos at the mention of Death Row’s owner attempting to belittle the returned ring vet.
Doozer: However, The Dooze will NOT be abused!
HUGE POP at Doozer’s famous, albeit adjusted, catchphrase.
Interrupting the cheers, "I am the COOL" by Jay Hawkins blasts through the speakers. The already bustling arena loses it completely at the sight of Cancer Jiles running from the top of the ramp down to the ring. Mister COOL transitions from running into a smooth dive under the bottom rope. He pops up to his feet in an instant, standing in front of his old tag partner and fellow eGG Bandit - The Dooze.
Cancer snags Doozer’s mic.
Mr. COOL: Doozy, Doozy, Doozy...
The COOL One circles around his old partner like shark. Constantly smiling, all the while.
Mr. COOL: How’d you do it, man? Already pullin’ fasties over Big Boss Ross’ head? Special guest ref for a gauntlet featuring THE COOL?!? I gotta give it to you, old man. Well done.
Mr. COOL: Guess I should order the celebratory dozen of golden eggs ahead of schedule. This one’s in the carton. See what I did there, Doozy? Don’t worry if your age-worn mind couldn’t keep up.
Just like that, the mic vanishes from COOL’s right hand. Courtesy of Doozer’s left.
"It’s a Fight" by Three 6 Mafia hits the sound system. Within seconds, Death Row’s owner can be seen standing atop the entrance ramp - arms crossed. Greeted with a mixed reaction, he surveys the crowd with a hint of distaste then relaxes his stands, and brings his right hand (with mic) up to his mouth.
Tim Ross: I’d watch your mouth, Jiles. Wouldn’t want your bee-eff-eff fired on his first real day at the job, would you?
Eyes widened, Doozer attempts to interject quickly.
Doozer: No, Tim. It’s nothi-
Tim Ross: [interrupting] You, shut up. Actually. Your cute little introduction is over. I want to see you in my office, asap. We have some... details... about the gauntlet we need to discuss.
"It’s a Fight" starts back up as Tim Ross retreats backstage, leaving both Doozer and Cancer in the ring looking quite dismayed. Mr. COOL throws his hand toward The Dooze in attempt to snatch the mic back and continue the in-ring collaboration promo. Just before he can grasp at it, Doozer loosens his grip and lets it fall to the mat.
The Dooze then looks directly at Jiles, who seems befuddled by his friend’s action, and shakes his head in a most defeated fashion. The shaking head ultimately falls in front of his chest, and Doozer begins to trudge toward the ropes near the ring’s short stairway. Cancer grabs his friend’s left shoulder in an effort to halt, but Doozer immediately breaks the grip by snapping his shoulder back instantly. CCJ throws both arms out to his sides in disbelief and bewilderment over The Dooze’s actions.
Totally silent is the crowd watching on as "My Old Self" hits the Red Arena’s PA system.
"Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva begins as Tarrasque runs out and roars with his arms outstretched. His chin and chest are covered in blood, a legacy of eating raw meat just moments ago.
Announcer: From Akira, China... he is... TARRASQUE!
"The Brain" Allen Anderson joins him, hobbling on a wooden cane with a golden sphere on top. Tarrasque and Anderson walk to the ring with Tarrasque in the lead, grinning at the violence to come.
Wolf: The newcomer who will be locked in a cell with the monster who has brought nothing but destruction to Death Row, Maynard Crane.
Before walking up the stairs, Tarrasque looks up at the dangling cell.
The introductory chords to “Love?” by Strapping Young Lad plays throughout the arena as Maynard Crane walks down to the ring.
Announcer: Weighing in at 236 pounds and hailing from Parts Unknown, MAYNARD CRANE!!!!!!
Wolf: He has his rat Paco in tow as he makes his way to the ring. Crane is so strange and maybe a bit unstable.
Ace: Maybe so but damn can he wrestle!
Wolf: Wrestle? Maynard Crane is just a sadistic monster.
Crane has his white rat Paco against his ear, listening to him, nodding in agreement, and then places him in a cage already in his corner before walking to the center of the ring. As Maynard Crane and Tarrasque stand toe to toe as the cell hits the ground.
Wolf: Both men tall, however, Tarrasque does have about a fifty pound advantage over Maynard Crane.
Ace: Yea, but Crane has a case of the crazies from what he’s shown over the recent months.
Wolf: I believe every match he has had so far has lead up to this point right here, a steel enclosure with another monster.
Ace: There defiantly is hell standing inside of that cell right now Waylon, a fury that will be unleashed between two men that are powered off of a force to be reckoned with.
The bell sounds and Maynard grins.
Wolf: There’s the sound of the bell, it’s time for our Caged Hell match!
Maynard clinches his gigantic hands and sends a right into the side of Tarrasque who barely moves. Tarrasque returns the favor and is met with the same outcome.
Wolf: Both men exchanging rights and lefts.
Ace: Being equally powered is going to make this extremely interesting.
Tarrasque hits a devastating right, and Maynard returns the favor again. However, this time he follows through by grabbing the shoulders of Tarrasque and putting his knee up. Tarrasque grabs the incoming knee, and lifts backward, sending Maynard Crane up, over, and crashing into the mat.
Wolf: Tarrasque using Maynard’s momentum to lift him up and send him down.
Ace: The new guy setting the bar.
Tarrasque rolls over. As Maynard begins to get up, Tarrasque lunges forward.
Wolf: Tarrasque catches Maynard Crane, lifts… SPIIINNNEEE BUUUSSSTTTERRR!
The crowd pops.
Ace: I have to say, this guy is impressive. Up until this point, Maynard Crane had only dominated every match he has had.
Tarrasque stands up and looks down at Crane, admiring his work, before grabbing him by the head and pulling Crane to his feet.
Wolf: Crane with a blow to the mid-section of Tarrasque, now another, trying to get back in this.
A knee to the gut of Maynard by Tarrasque stops the potential comeback
Wolf: Tarrasque grabs the left arm of Maynard Crane, Irish whip into the ropes. Maynard on the comeback as Tarrasque rushes and leaps, huge shoulder block!
Ace: Watch out Death Row, there is a new monster to worry about!
Tarrasque rises to his feet again.
Wolf: Stomping away at Maynard Crane. This is nothing like we are used to when Crane is in the ring.
Ace: I kind of like it, and I’m sure everyone in the back he has terrorized is enjoying this too!
Maynard is lifted yet again to his feet by Tarrasque.
Wolf: Big chop to the chest of Crane. Tarrasque going for the whip again, NO! Maynard reverses. Tarrasque into the ropes, on the return no… big boot by Crane!
The crowd pops at the two big men giving them a show.
Wolf: Maynard’s opponent begins getting to his feet. As he rises, Maynard goes to boot his head, but Tarrasque moves!
Tarrasque swings at Crane, who ducks down, bends in, and lifts Tarrasque up on his shoulders before standing up straight.
Wolf: SAMOEN DROP!
Ace: Maynard needs to get back in this if he expects to win.
Maynard quickly covers Tarrasque but is kicked out before the referee can even get one.
Wolf: Maynard Crane trying to end the match finds himself needing more offense.
Maynard gets to his feet, pulling Tarrasque up with him.
Wolf: Crane pushed back.
Maynard stumbles back and into the ropes, but able to stop himself.
Wolf: Tarrasque runs!
Crane bends down, catches Tarrasque, and lifts him over the top rope. Tarrasque flies to the floor, his head hitting the cell, causing him to ricochet back.
Wolf: THAT WILL DO IT!
Ace: Not too shabby.
Maynard turns and exits the ring over the top rope, hopping to the floor.
Wolf: I think we are about to see the Maynard Crane we are used to seeing.
Ace: This may not end well for Tarrasque.
Maynard reaches down, pulling Tarrasque halfway up.
Wolf: Crane now pushing Tarrasque’s head into that cell, grinding his face across the chain link.
Tarrasque lets out a yell of agony as Maynard places a knee into his back to apply more pressure.
Ace: One of the most dangerous structures in wrestling.
Maynard lets go and steps back a few feet as Tarrasque lays propped on the cell side.
Wolf: Crane runs… BOOT TO TARRASQUE’S HEAD, DRIVING IT INTO THE CELL MORE!
Ace: Damn that was nasty!
Maynard steps back, allowing Tarrasque to slump over to the floor.
Wolf: Crane now grabbing Tarrasque and helping him to his feet.
Ace: Yea, helping.
Maynard walks Tarrasque over and rolls him into the ring, pulling himself up afterwards and entering over the top rope.
Wolf: Maynard picking Tarrasque up to his feet and whips Tarrasque into the ropes.
On the return, Tarrasque attempts a clothesline, but Crane ducks.
Wolf: Tarrasque trying to come back, but misses.
Both men quickly turn around.
Wolf: Kick to the midsection of Maynard Crane. Tarrasque follows up with an elbow to the temple followed by a big chop to the chest.
Ace: He didn’t miss that time!
Wolf: Maynard allowed too much time to pass, allowing Tarrasque to regroup.
Tarrasque grabs Maynard, going for what seems to be a a belly to belly suplex.
Wolf: No! Reversal by Maynard Crane with the suplex.
Ace: Both men strong and agile, it’s amazing.
As Tarrasque hits the mat, Maynard Crane gets to his feet and begins to viciously stomp his opponent.
Wolf: Crane showing a bit of that mean streak he is known for.
Tarrasque is able to rolls slightly out of the way and begins to get up. On the way up, Tarrasque pushes Maynard Crane back. He grabs his arm and pulls him.
Wolf: Short arm clothesline. That looked as if it knocked Crane silly.
Ace: Simple, yet effective.
Tarrasque picks a leg of Maynard Crane up, stretches it the thrust it down.
Wolf: Tarrasque now trying to hyper extend the knee of Maynard Crane.
He stomps his opponent's knee a few times before lifting both of his legs up and stepping in.
Wolf: It appears that Tarrasque is going for a figure four leg lock.
Ace: I think move sets are out the window, and these men just want to punish each other.
As he places the lock on and leans back on the mat to apply pressure, Maynard Crane yells in pain.
Wolf: Maynard Crane now trying to get his bearings.
Maynard Crane struggles a little before overpowering Tarrasque enough to reverse the hold.
Wolf: Inverted figure four by Maynard Crane! Crane now showing he can actually wrestle some, and not just destroy everything in his way with brute power.
Ace: It’s hard to do that when you’re a big guy but your opponent is even bigger. He has to resort to alternative measures.
A few moments later, both men break free and push themselves to their feet.
Wolf: Each opponent showing signs of discomfort as they get to their feet.
Ace: Wouldn’t you?
Crane takes charge, slapping Tarrasque's chest with authority.
Wolf: Big chop by Maynard Crane that leaves Tarrasque's chest glowing. An Irish whip sends him hard into the corner. Maynard Crane follows up with a huge splash.
As Maynard Crane moves away, Tarrasque stumbles forward.
Wolf: Crane grabs the back of Tarrasque's head, directing him to the corner.
Ace: Maynard Crane is back folks!
Maynard sends Tarrasque into the turnbuckle, back first. As he stands, propped up on the ropes, Crane delivers several calculated, hard shots to the side of the head.
Wolf: Maynard Crane follows those closed fist with a side knee to Tarrasque's mid-section. He has slowed the pace down, allowing himself to not only control the match, but deliver more damage to Tarrasque in the long run.
Ace: He needs to finish him off and continue being the man to beat.
Maynard pulls his hand back, delivering a calculated chop to Tarrasque's chest followed by a knee to his legs, immediately into a forearm to head.
Wolf: Maynard Crane punishing Tarrasque for his early control.
Ace: Wasn’t introducing him to the cell punishment enough?
As Maynard backs away from the corner, Tarrasque takes a wobbly step forward. Crane slides in behind him, and wraps on a sleeper type hold.
Wolf: Sleeper hold by Maynard Crane. With that hold securely locked in, Crane moves Tarrasque to the middle of the ring.
As it looks like the referee is about to declare the match over via knockout, Crane grips the hold one more time then leaps up, coming down with his stomach hitting the mat as Tarrasque's back hits.
Wolf: What a move. Maynard Crane not ready to end it yet, he just hasn't dished out enough punishment.
Ace: Stupid! He almost had it!
Crane gets to his feet. Slow and methodically, he makes his way around Tarrasque, giving a stomp every few steps. Maynard stops, bends over and slaps Tarrasque.
Wolf: Maynard Crane adds insult to injury, slapping Tarrasque.
He smirks and steps back.
Wolf: Crane lifts the leg of Tarrasque, turning him over.
He then grips Tarrasque's leg with both hands and drives his knee hard into the mat. Tarrasque grabs his knee and rolls around.
Wolf: Crane leaps, bringing a big knee down across the chest of Tarrasque.
Ace: Got to hand it to him, no matter the size of his opponent, Crane is a tough one.
As he gets up, he pulls Tarrasque to his feet with him.
Wolf: Crane grabs the arm of Tarrasque, yet another Irish whip into the ropes. Tarrasque on the return.
Maynard Crane catches Tarrasque on the rebound with a knee to the mid-section. He then runs past Tarrasque, comes off the ropes and hits a running knee strike to the temple of Tarrasque.
Wolf: Tarrasque is down!
Ace: He needs to pin him!
Maynard stretches his large hand out and looks down at Tarrasque.
Wolf: It’s almost over!
Maynard grabs ahold of Tarrasque’s face and begins squeezing, lifting him to his feet at the same time.
Wolf: Can Tarrasque hold on?!
Tarrasque stays calm, and uses his free legs to get his balance and then kick Maynard, causing him to let go.
Tarrasque steps to the side, grabs Maynard by the back of the head, and with power sends him toward the ropes and over the top.
Wolf: Maynard meets the floor now!
Maynard crawls over to the cell and reaches up, grasping the links and using them to pull himself up. Inside the ring, Tarrasque looks like a mad man.
Wolf: Crane to his feet… Tarrasque runs… HE LEAPS! SUCICIDE DIVE FROM THE BIG MAN!
Ace: Holy fuck!
Tarrasque flies through the air, catching Maynard and plowing him into the unforgiving cell.
Wolf: The cell had to have moved an inch!
Fans: Holy shit! Holy shit!
Wolf: The fans are going crazy!
Both men roll around on the floor, with Tarrasque finally getting to his feet first. After a couple stomps, he pulls Maynard up, walking him over, and rolling him back into the ring.
Wolf: This entire match has been back and forward.
As Tarrasque enters the ring, he walks over to Crane and looks down.
Wolf: Tarrasque to a knee, now covering Maynard.
Ace: No way he has this.
The referee begins his count.
Wolf: One… Two…
The last count seems slow, but it hits the mat. A moment afterwards, Maynard throws his arm up.
The bell begins to sound and Tarrasque’s music hits.
Wolf: Well, ah.. Tarrasque victorious over Maynard Crane!
Ace: he has ended the monster’s streak of destruction!
As Tarrasque has his arm held by the referee, Maynard looks around, as if surprised by the three count.
Wolf: Maynard was almost able to kick out, but just milliseconds too slow.
Crane rolls over as the cell raises, and pushes himself to his feet. The camera cuts away from him as he begins yelling at the referee from the side of the ring and we go backstage.
A taped promo begins. Classical music is playing in the background. Derek Mobley and Warrick Hill are shown seated at a table, playing chess. Derek has a pair of thick rimmed glasses on and a fake mustache. Warrick is puffing on a pipe, wearing a loose tie. Warrick is staring, intently, at the board, trying to make the best move possible. He finally reaches out and moves his pawn one step forward, officially completing the very first move of the game.
Derek Mobley: Nice.
Warrick Hill: I thought so.
The words “Entertaining, Thrilling” flash on the screen as Derek and Warrick continue to play chess. An updated look at the board shows the game is half over. Derek captures one of Warrick’s knights.
Warrick Hill: Dude, you took my horse!
Derek Mobley: He was in my way.
Warrick Hill: That was my favorite piece…he could move forward AND sideways.
Derek Mobley: Sorry, bro.
Derek turns his head to the side, taking a drink of water. While his eyes are off the board, Warrick snatches one of Derek’s knights and places it on his side of the board, replacing his old knight. The question ‘Can DRW contain this much excitement?’ is posed.
Derek Mobley: Where’s my other knight?
Warrick Hill: How the hell should I know?
Derek Mobley: Because we’re the only two people in the room.
Derek continues to examine the board.
Derek Mobley: Wait a minute, why is my knight on YOUR side of the board?
Warrick Hill: That’s my horse, idiot.
Derek Mobley: Dude, it’s white.
Warrick Hill: So?
Derek Mobley: Your pieces are black.
Warrick Hill: You’re such a fucking racist, you know that? I don’t look at things as black and white...and I don’t wear white pillow casings as masks either.
Derek Mobley: What does that even mean? Are you insinuating I’m affiliated with the KKK?
Warrick Hill: If the hood fits…
Derek Mobley: Shut up and just give me my knight back.
Warrick Hill: If you can prove that’s your horse, then I’ll give it back to you.
Derek Mobley: Are you serious?
Warrick Hill: As a pregnancy test.
Derek Mobley: The pieces are color coordinated…I assumed you noticed that from the start.
Warrick looks down at the pieces, realizing that they are color coordinated. He then picks up Derek’s knight and hurls it against a wall. It shatters.
Derek Mobley: Dude!! This set cost like fifty bucks!
Warrick Hill: Big deal, chess is for fags anyway.
Derek flips over the board and reaches over to punch Warrick. The screen fades to black. The name “House of Pain” appears on the screen. It fades out and we cut back to the live feed.
“Binge and Purge” comes in through the arena, the sound of the guitars producing an undeniable groan from the crowd. The guitars continue, joined by the drums, but still Dark does not emerge. The beat chugs slowly along. Dark is a long time in coming out, the music alone signaling the arrival of Death Row’s first champion. It’s almost annoying. The masses on the internet almost think to open a new window for a quick little exploration into the kinky world of internet porn, when finally, painstakingly, Dark emerges from behind the current, walking slow to the beat of the drums.
Wolf: Well not exactly the bang we hoped to open with, Dark apparently taking his time tonight.
He appears smoking a cigarette, as the voice of Neil Fallon comes over the PA ‘Perhaps it’s just the way the light falls’ he exhales the smoke ‘but everything looks like a target to me. . .’
Ace: We also must mention, for those of you with crappy resolutions due to a slow connection, that Dark looks particularly dirty tonight.
Wolf: Whatever happened to a clean champion anyway?
Ace: Clean? Forget clean. Whatever happened to a sober one?
Dark begins his saunter down to the ring, enjoying his cigarette. He gets a few steps down the ramp and El Toro appears from behind the curtain, his arms raising the Death Row Championship as high as he can.
Ace: Look at the little fella. Dark’s got him a walkin’ pedestal!
The two walk down the ramp, to the chorus of boos. Dark stops before entering the ring, allowing a fan in the first row to jaw at him. In response Dark blows a cloud of smoke in his face and laughs. Laughing, he climbs the steps to the ring and enters, unceremoniously.
He asks for a mic as El Toro climbs a turnbuckle, raising the belt.
Wolf: Unscheduled here, we apologize here with you fans, we’re supposed to be minutes into the tag team elimination match, but apparently the champion has something to say. Bear with us here.
The crowd pops at mere mention of their city.
Dark: Yeah give yourselves a round of applause. The City That Works!
You can hear Dark’s clapping, amplified by the microphone as the crowd pops.
The crowd instantly boos.
Dark: Congratulations Chicago, home of the highest unemployment rate! Yes, lovely Chicago! Home of truth and justice! Why aint former Governor George Ryan still rotting in prison for his vital role in a truck license scam? Yes! Lovely Chicago, you’ve done yourselves proud!”
The crowd boos as Dark laughs, turning to El Toro with whom he shares his laughter.
Dark: Hey fat boy, if you’ve got a problem we can settle it in the fuckin’ ring.
Dark turns his attention to one particularly rowdy fan in the crowd.
Dark: Hey, hey, dipshit. After the show, if you’re looking for your Mommy to drive you home, she’ll be the one in the back spread eagle and covered in cum!
Wolfe: We apologize ladies and gentlemen… I think it is necessary that we mention that the views of Mr. Dark in no way reflect the views of the company as a whole.
Ace: That’s right Death Row loves it’s fans! As long as they’ve got money!
Wolfe: That’s absolutely not true…
Ace: Dark may have been in his fair share of fights, but I don’t like his chances. He’s inciting a riot! Listen to these fans!
Dark: Hey Chicago. When I get a Chicago dog I smother it in ketchup you anal motherfuckers!
Ace: That’s not right Wolfe. People in Chicago hate it when you put ketchup on a hot dog. It’s ungodly!
A chorus of boos shower over Dark, and he smiles, bathing in it.
Dark: Hey Chicago. You hear of the new Cubs soup? Two sips and you choke!
Ace: Now that’s actually pretty funny!
Wolfe: The hell it is! The Cubs are a sore you just don’t pick at!
Dark: If you swine would shut your fat mouths for a second, and give the champion the respect he DESERVES, you just might learn something. I got to tell you, I’ve been in some real scummy places, places with sticky floored bathrooms, but none of them compare to the grim and the grit of Red Arena, here in Chicago, Illinois! HOW’s Best Arena? Fuck HOW! Best was right in leaving this dump.
Dark (cont): The fact of the matter is I am the Death Row Champion. You all foolishly thought I couldn’t do it—that the old man didn’t have it left. But alas, just like always, you were wrong. I have found it important to grace you all with my presence tonight—though you clearly don’t deserve it—because Death Row has acquired some new talent… some new inmates if you will. Well to those of you who have just got here: hello, my name is Dark, I’m tippy top dog now.
He points to the title Toro is holding.
Dark: That is mine. You see? It makes quite the fancy ashtray.
Wolfe: An ashtray, what? No respect for the title! No respect!
Dark: I’m the head of the roost. Tim Ross just don’t know it yet. Why those bodyguards of his are so amateurish they can’t seem to keep in contact with their bail bondsman, and as such are constantly in and out of jail. Maynard is too crazy and too interested in affirming his manhood by slaughtering others to care about running the ship. cVc can’t control his own wang, let alone an entire federation. . . Cancer has been spread too thin, wrestling for all you idiots, and Doozer, Mr. Superman, has grown himself a beer belly. There is no one left but me.
Dark (cont): Hello, nice to meet you. I am the King.
The crowd boos. Dark continues jawing with the kid in the front row but his mic isn’t up to his mouth, his voice lost in the sound of the booing crowd.
Dark: And in case you’ve forgotten, or in case you don’t believe me, open your eyes. Open your eyes and watch tonight. Tonight Cort is going to step into the ring with me, in a vain attempt to take my title. The name has changed, but the man is the same, and he couldn’t beat me the first time. He won’t be beating me this time either. The title is mine, and I certainly didn’t swat away young talent just to lose it to a little punk like you Cort. You see ladies and gentlemen, Cort is a punk rocker. He bangs around the drum. But Death Row isn’t American Idol. We aren’t raising any musicians here. We raise dead beats. We nurture hatred and destruction.
Dark (cont): He is a vandal. He just may do this shitty arena a favor and give it a much needed face lift. He may firebomb the place after tonight, it being the place of yet another moment of shame, the place of yet another loss. For you see, Cort is terribly afraid of success. Anytime he has looked it in the face, he has inexplicably and quite stupidly done something to get himself locked up. He can’t handle it. He can’t handle being a champion anymore than he can handle being a man. It is a time to grow up Mister. . .
Dark stops as ‘Crucified’ fills the arena. The crowd pops as the music can mean only one thing: Cort Vang.
Wolf: Hold on a minute folks, it seems as if the One Man Misdemeanor isn’t going to take anymore of Dark’s shit.
Ace: We may just have a match before a match!
With all eyes glued on Dark, El Toro and the entrance-way, no one expects Cort Vang to leap over a barricade through the crowd and slide under the bottom rope with his own microphone. Gone is the long black braid he previously sported and swung about at his Lethal Injection IV entrance.
Eyes widened. Stalkerish heavy breaths. Raising the mic to his lips, there seems to be a small hint of support from Chicago.
Cort Vang: I got some shit to say, and I want to put it out there right here--right now.
A size-up stare from Cort toward the champion.
Wolf: Cort sizing up the champion! He doesn’t look scared one bit.
Ace: Dark is a dangerous man, Cort must be feeling confident tonight.
Cort Vang: You're an effing joke. You say jokes, you got played by Spectre in the biggest effin' joke I ever witnessed a few weeks back and you run with this sawed-off pecker who speaks gibberish and throws up every effin' second.
Cort eyes El Toro, mouthing something. Not sure what, the mic is away. He lifts it up, looking at Dark and specifically catching a glimpse of the championship he covets in El Toro's hands.
Cort Vang: You're right, this ain't American Idol. This ain't a lot of mother effing things. This ain't a bar. This ain't a circus for midgets. This ain't mother effing Tulsa, Oklahoma either where Tombs was in our shit. This is Chicago, another city on a long list of places that a bitch like you isn't wanted in!
Cort lowers the mic, and nods at a few fans who agree with him. He calms down somewhat, but everything from his mouth is sharp and spoke with ill-intent.
Cort Vang: You talk about manhood-- I think everybody in this bitch knows that I AM a man. Forget that P-Yoot bullshit. You think a name makes a man?! I said it every damn week it seems. Everybody in The Row is a broken, fall-down bitch. Yeah, I said it. And looking at your ass, I can't find a bigger example of a more broken-down mother fucker unless I snapshot a picture of your face after TONIGHT!
Cort hears more pops from the crowd, perhaps the most support he's ever garnered! Perhaps it is the fact he didn't censor himself as the Death Row crowd popped harder for 'Mother Fucker' than anything he has said tonight. He swipes his mouth with his backhand, eyeing Dark for more.
Ace: Listen to these fans Wolf!
Wolf: Yes, yes I have ears Ace.
The crowd rumbles as the two men stare at one another, Cort looking intently into Dark’s eyes. Cort starts jabbering at Dark, the words unheard without the mic, and Dark listens, looking at him without much concern. When Cort is done Dark reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cigarette, lighting it nonchalantly.
Wolf: With Dark, anytime is a good time to smoke.
He takes a drag and exhales it out of the corner of his mouth, studying the burning of the cigarette, acting like he doesn’t even notice Cort standing in front of him. He studies the cigarette and suddenly throws it in Cort’s face but Cort ducks and the cigarette flies over his head.
Ace: Dark with the cheat shot.
Wolf: But Cort saw it coming!
Dark runs at Cort for a clothesline but Cort ducks this as well. Dark bounces off the ropes, returning Cort leapfrogs him. When Dark reaches the other side of the ring he slides under the ropes, leaving Cort in the center of the ring with his fists up, ready to fight. Dark shakes his finger at him laughing, as he slowly stumbles around the outside of the ring.
He and Toro slowly shuffled up the ramp, Cort staring them down from the ring the whole time.
Wolf: It’s Death from Above ladies and Gentlemen!
Ace: Dark, Cort Vang, in the scaffold match in tonight’s main event!
Wolf: Things heating up here tonight, and we’ve only just begun Ace.
Ace: You bet your ass—we’re just getting started!
Wolf: I can’t wait to see what happens Ace, who’s taking the plunge tonight?
Ace: I don’t know, but if I were watching at home I know I’d tell my friends to get off the facebook and join the Row!
Wolf: You and I both, Ace. You and I both.
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead