::Scene opens and we see Chairman Dane and his new "friend" Jake Maples
sitting behind a table. They have files laying infront of them and
Dane begins to address the camera.::
C.Dane:Hello IWOnites....allow me to tell you I would like to
Monday Night Meltdown...aslong as John runs that show it is going to be
nothing but sick potty humor....he is a pervert...nothing more then a
pervert...and as long as we have him in office as our Co-VP the IWO is
to be nothing more then porno...just simple minded porno...and I as a
pride and integrity would NEVER post such awful things on my show. So
is why I am issueing what I call "Dane's law"....this states any
uses any swear word will be finded 50,000 dollars! And I am
is above this....so John you and your boys F.U.C.K.I.N.G S.H.I.T better
out...because I will even fine you guys...I'm not gonna make the IWO
listen to you and your filthy mouths anymore...I AM a man of pride and
honor...and I think all of the fans support me for it!
Jake:I know I support you Daney....now let me addressth something thath
going around the locker throom recthently...no even dough (though) I am
really festhtive and full of life....and have a nice skinny body....and
tight panths...doesn't mean........
I'm a wresthler! No no no boyths....I'm thertainly (certainly) not a
wresthler...even dough we all know dat I am exthremely well put
C.Dane:I've always thought you were well put together...
C.Dane:Anyways IWO fans....tonight I have something special cooked
up...expect the F.U.C.K movement to begin....OH! and One more
rid of that awfu awful Tit-ron that VP-John likes so much...and replced
with a brand spanking new...F.U.C.Ktron...so now this show is FINALLY
descent screen to view our find action on...now let's go down to the
EXCLUSIVE HT TEAM...Greg Parker, JT, and my personal favriote
announcer...Stinky B. Wizzelcheeks!
::No music plays we simply see the IWO logo for a second and then it
the arena where GP, JT, and SBW are all sitting.::
GP:Alright hello fans! It seems that F.U.C.K is planing some form of
that will probabley not go anywhere tonight...so...great.
SBW:F.U.C.K is powerful! They will take care of buisness here tonight!
GP:....whatever...let's cut to commerical.
Trent McFarlane vs. To Be Announced
Trent's opponent is currently unknown, we will find out this Friday
is. If Trent wins he gains a contract to the IWO...if he loses...he
back to the indy feds.
GP:Well folks this one should be interesting...we have no word yet on
Trent is going to take on yet...Chairman Dane has been able to keep it
hush all week...Stimpy do you even know?
SBW:GREG! WE'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW...THE NEAME
STINKY B. WIZZELCHEEKS! And no I don't have any idea who the opponent
JT:I hope its someone to teach this no talent hack that the IWO is no
for indy wrestlers...his ass will be back to the indys in no time
GP:Well with that said lets go down to the ring for ring
Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen the following is a contract
Trent wins he will be added to the IWO roster...if Trent loses he will
be allowed to be on IWO TV again...introduceing first...weighing in at
pounds...from Boston....accompanied to the ring by Phelen Kell and
here is the self proclaimed Trend Setter...Trent McFarlane!
::"Dropping Anchor" by Jimmies Chicken Shack begins to play as Trent
out with Kell and Harlequin. He gets a huge pop from the crowd as he
Ring Announcer:And introduceing....his opponent....
::"Whatever" by Godsmack begins to play as Chairman Dane and Jake
out in F.U.C.K shirts.::
C.Dane:First and foremost...I demand that you stop playing such
music for my entrances...and next...Phelen Kell...Harlequin...head to
back you guys won't be out here for this one.
Kell:Whoa! I have a managers license and so does Harlequin...you have
right to tell us we can't be at ring side.
C.Dane:Well...okay then I guess your right....but I have creative
the main event...so if you wanna play hard ball then I have NO choice
to cancel your mainevent with Wilt tonight!
Kell:WHAT!?! You can't do that bitch!
Jake:Awwwwwwwwwwww....he said the B word Daney...get him!
C.Dane:Phelen leave ringside now and I will allow the match to
for use of the "B" word that will be a 50,000 dollar fine!
Harlequin:ONLY 50,000...that's just fucking weak!
C.Dane:Hey you wanna push your luck buddy!?! that's 100,000 now! Keep
your bill will only rise!
Harlequin:Okay thanks I think I will...SHIT MY ASS TILL I FUCK A WHORE
SHIT WITH THE DICK AND THE FUCK RIGHT UP HER ASS TILL HER CUNT SHITS ON
DICK WHITCH WILL BE FUCKING THE SHIT ASS AND THE BITCH WILL FUCK....
Phelen:Come on now I'm not THAT rich!
::Crowd is cheering.::
Phelen:AH FUCK IT THE HELL I'M NOT! ASS SHIT FUCK BITCH SHIT FUCK ASS
SHIT ASS BITCH FUCK!
C.Dane:.....your luckey I lost count...cause I'm sure your going to
quite the hefty fine! Now leave!
::Crowd boos as Phelen and Harlequin leave out of disappointment.::
C.Dane:Now Trent...Trent...Trent...what makes you so special? What
think you can just waltz into the IWO and get everythign handed to you?
Trent:I don't expect any hand outs...I just want a chance to show my
off at this level.
C.Dane:Well tonight you will certainly be able to do so...because you
takeing on 3 of the IWO's top Superstars in a gauntlet match...and you
defeat ALL of them for the contract!
Trent:Whoa! That's not fair at all...
C.Dane: Introduceing first....he is a former IWO World
Champion....from Mt. Laurel New Jersey...weighing in at 237
master of the Equillizer...here is Tony Davis!
::"Degenerate" by Blink182 begins to play as Tony Davis comes out and
beside Chairman Dane.::
Trent:Dane if you think your screwing me over...your not...I'll tear
anyone you put infront of me to get into the IWO!
C.Dane:Well isn't that just splendid....Davis is a former IWO World
Champ...now go destroy him!
::Davis runs down the aisle and rolls in the ring him and Trent start
GP:Here we go! Lefts and rights by both men....Trent has Davis
back...Trent whips Davis into the ropes...spinning heel kick by Trent!
is up again...Trents sends him down the a creasent kick! Trent off the
ropes...senton splash on Davis! Davis rolls out of the ring...this
kids got talent!
JT:Psh! He's not THAT good!
SBW:Trent goes off the ropes....cart wheel....flips over the
heavens! Davis moved as that fool crashed to the floor! Davis picks him
up...rams him head first into the ring post!
GP:Davis has Trent up again...back first into the security railing!
grabs him and rolls him back inside. Davis back in....whips Trent into
ropes....big power slam! Cover...1.....2....NO! Kick out by Trent!
yelling at the ref for a slow count!
SBW:Thanks heaven Dane and Jake just headed down to ringside and are
the ref to go to the back...good now we'll get to REAL officials in
JT:Tony Davis has Trent up again....and trys to gain an advantage but
just clawed his eyes....Davis goes to whip Trent into the ropes but
reverses it and clotheslines Davis over the top...NOOOOOOOO! Davis just
screamed out in pain and is grabbing his knee!
GP:It appears Davis landed wrong on his knee...and he's not able to
stand...here come the medics to help him....Chairman Dane is right up
Trent's face...we have the cameras up close so we can here all the
C.Dane:Hey! You injured one of my biggest draws...no I definately won't
Trent:Errr wrong! Davis loses due to technicality...so send out my next
opponent I'm still in this match!
::Trent grabs Dane like he is about to pumble him.::
C.Dane:NOOO! If you strike me I can DQ you from this match....because
illegal to strike and IWO official!
GP:OH MY GOD! TRENT JUST KICKED JAKE MAPLES IN THE STOMACH...OUCH! HE
HIM WITH A SIT DOWN TOMBSTONE FROM SUPLEXT POSITION! THAT'S IT! THAT'S
MOVE...HE CALLS IT THE LATEST CRAZE! JAKE MAPLES IS OUT!
C.Dane:RING THE BELL....RING THE BELL!
Trent:Wrong again....Jake Maples is not employeed by the IWO in anyway
of form....theirfore I have not committed any violations to your
bam thank you mam!
C.Dane:DON'T SAY THAT ON TELEVISION!
GP:A man just ran to the ring...he has one of those F.U.C.K shirst
JAX STONE! JAX STONE JUST WHIPPED TRENT OUT FROM BEHIND! HAS JAX STONE
F.U.C.K!?! CHAIRMAN DANE IS LAUGHING AS JAX IS STOMPING TRENT!
C.Dane:Ladies and gentlemen...allow me to introduce you to a man who
knows how to F.U.C.K....standing at an awesome 6'6"...weighing in at a
259...hailing from Kalamazoo...the city he put on the map...master of
most devestateing move in IWO history the Elimination...here is my own
::Crowd is booing and chanting you sold out at Jax.::
GP:Stone has Trent up....ddt...into a swinging neck breaker Trent goes
hard....Stone is up top....knee drop off the top onto Trent! Let me
fans I am shocked and hurt that a man like Jax Stone would go along
SBW:GREG! Be careful I'm sure Dane wouldn't want to hear you say that!
GP:I don't care anymore...first I get fired from Monday nights....then
can't say my opinions about Chairman Dane...let the IWO fire me...I
don't care anymore!
JT:.....anyways boys and girls Jax is really takeing it to Trent...he
Trent up Gut Wrench Power Bomb into a cover....1.....2.....NO!
Almost....Chairman Dane with...well a bit of a fast count.
GP:Hey JT your suppose to be a heel....
JT:Oh I am...and a damn good one...but I'm sick of Smelly over here and
SBW:HEY! WATCH YOUR MOUTH!
GP:Jax has Trent up again...scoop slam....and now Trent's in the corner
waiting for him to get up.....Trent is up on all fours....JAX NAILS
WITH THE ELIMINATION! IT'S OVER! TRENT WON'T BE IN THE IWO! THIS IS
SBW:YES! STONE HAS HIM...
GP:Wait a sec Tony DAvis just pushed the medics out of his way and is
the outside....he has a steel chair and just rolled in the ring....Dane
the count....1......2.....BAM! Davis just nailed Chairman Dane with a
chair....Stone is up and Davis nails him with the chair too....Davis
chair down EQUILLIZER ON THE CHAIR!! Stone is out! Davis puts Trent on
Stone....Davis grabs Chairman Dane's arm.....1......2......3! Davis
Chairman Dane count Stone out! Davis now runs under the ring.
::A little kid singing is suddenly heard over the loud speaker.
masked man wearing an air brushed jacket walks out...he is yelling
Masked Man:Todd McFarlane baby...as much as I like your comic
afraid your are about to get torn to shreads by my main man...ladies
gentlemen....weighin in at a mere 699 pounds....and standing 6 feet
tall...here he is the masked horror....THE BIG QUAKE!
::A Masked Man with a brown mask walks out. He has tight black pants
no shirt. A tattoo of a bengal tiger can be seen on his arm.::
Masked Man:GET HIM BABY! Oh and one more thing...I am his manager...the
of the south-east the MASKED MEGAPHONE MAN!
GP:Well Trent is up....and so is Stone...Stone stumbled out of the
ring...Chairman Dane is still down and out...Jake Maples is also laid
the center of the ring. It seems that the ummmm Big Quake can't get
ring....he is weezeing extremely loud and even with the help of the
megaphone man can't seem to get in the ring. Trent goes off the ropes
nails the Big Quake with a baseball slide!
Big Quake:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MASKED MEGAPHONE MAN....HELP!!!!
Masked Megaphone Man:Baby....you gotta fight back...
GP:Trent grabs the Big Quake and throws him head first into the ring
post...ph my god he's busted wide open!
Big Quake:TRIPPLE M! THEIR IS A RUNNY RED BLOOD LIKE LIQUID DRIPPING
OPEN HOLE IN MY HEAD! WHAT IS IT!
MMM:Ummmmm.... Rasberry jam baby!
GP:Trent grabs the Big Quake and throws him into the ring with
enters the ring....missel toe drop kick on the Quake.....
JT:God will he shutup!?!
SBW:That's a future world champ there boys and girls!
GP:Trent goes to whip Quake into the corner.....Quake revereses!?! BODY
AVALANCH! TRENT IS OUT!
Quake:MMM WHAT NOW!?!
MMM:Ummmmmm....pull him to the middle of the ring and body splash
::Quake pulls Trent to center. And runs off the ropes, as he comes
Davis emerges from under the ring and is in a cheap looking plastic
Hogan Halloween costume.::
MMM:Baby don't blow our cover!
GP:Tony Davis nails Quake with a big boot....Davis off the ropes....BIG
DROP! He pulls Trent on top...Chairman Dane is awake but in a
makes the count....1.....2.....3! TRENT WINS! TRENT WINS! TRENT WINS!
has the mic....
Davis:Trent...welcome to the IWO!
SBW:I can't beleive it! I can't beleive it! Chairman Dane is just now
up and he is hot....Jake is pulling himself up by the ropes....and Jax
is up and mad!
C.Dane:Alright Trent be happy...go back and celebrate with the rest of
friends....but know this....F.U.C.K is gonna make your life a liveing
Stone:Did you see what Davis did? HE CHEATED!
Jake:JITH! I know I mean like...GAWD! Leths get him good fo it!
C.Dane:Alright alright....next week on this show....Jax...since you are
own personal favriote.....your gonna get the honors of dealing with
Davis...in ANY match you want.
Stone:Excellenta....and after that...McFarlane's mine!
Jake:I want a match Daney! Give me a match!
C.Dane:Okay okay...hmmmmmmm....next week you'll take on Harlequin!
Jake:Oh BEHAVE! I will slap him thilly (silly)! Dat mean old man don't
C.Dane:And I think we'll have a little surprise to our good friend VP
Let's just say that him and I might go a few rounds!!!
::Crowd cheers at the thought of John beating the unholy crap out of
C.Dane:So fans...stay posted till the end of the show to find out!
GP: Ok, our next match is a Zoo Deathmatch, it is live Via Sattelite
San Diego Zoo!! WOW!!
JT: WHAT!?! There's giant panda's in there!! They will be eaten!!
SBW: Yes, this is one good reason of why Chairman Dane made F.U.C.K!!
GP: And remember, the loser is off the team this sunday at Broken
Broken Bones 2!! So these two are already in the zoo, and as you could
there is a ref, and only one wrestler, somehow we don't see Cyber
anywhere, wait what's that noise!?! DBB is goin over to see what it is,
he can't seem to figure it out..wait, its Cyber Cyclone!! He's feeding
Da Bronx Bro: YOU BASTARD!! YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED THE DAMN
Cyber Cyclone: Oh. I didn't know that.
GP: Da Bronx Bro nails Cyclone with a rock, he starts to punch pummel
whips him to the ropes and a back belly drop to the concrete!!! DBB now
trying to get some momentum finds some monkey shit, and starts wizzing
Cyber Cyclone, DBB get's done, washes his hands, LOOK OUT!! Cyber
just jumped on DBB and they both go flying into the pond!! They are
punching each other with lefts and rights!! Cyclone throws DBB out of
pond and he goes running after, he swings at DBB, DBB blocks..DDT ON
SBW: OHH!! WOW!! I knew I wouldn't like this match!! Pure VIOLENCE!!
JT: Stinkey, are you gay??
JT: Does your mom know your gay??
JT: HAHAHAHA!! YOU FOOL!! YOUR MOM DOESN'T KNOW YOUR GAY!?!?!
GP: HAHA!! Good Joke Good Joke. Now DBB is once again taking control,
starts to punch Cyber Cyclone, he picks Cyclone up and throws him into
Lion's cage!! OH NO!! The Lion wakes up!! Cyber Cyclone doesn't know,
running for his life as he see's the lion, Cyclone turns around and
lion, he starts punching it, the lion just shrugs it off!!
JT: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE YOU MORON!! YOUR NOT TOUGHER THEN A FREAKIN
(All of a sudden you here gun shots, we look over and see Da Bronx Bro
shooting at the lion...)
GP: The lion's dead!!!
Da Bronx Bro: SHIT!! I missed!! Oh well, I'll have to go kill him now!!
JT: HAHA!! HE MEANT TO HIT CYBER CYCLONE!! HAHA!!
GP: I don't believe this, DBB just tried killing Cyber Cyclone!! Wait,
JT: IT'S THE ZOO KEEPER!! WOAH! HE HAS HAND CUFF'S AND A TAZER!!
Zoo Keeper: *Name tag reads Mike Ockislong* Hey, what the hell are you
doing in here?? Get the hell out!!
Da Bronx Bro: And who might you be??
Zoo Keeper: I'm Mike Ockislong, the Zoo Keeper..
Da Bronx Bro: Oh yeah, and like my name is Mike Hunt!!
Zoo Keeper: Well, your under arrest!! I'm gonna call security!!
Da Bronx Bro: UP YOURS!!
GP: OH MY GOD!! DBB just knocked out the Zoo Keeper!! Wait, he turns
and gets nailed with a whip!! That's the lion tamer's whip!! Cyber
just hit him with it!!
(The scene opens backstage in Evan Levine and Jonny Allen's dressing
see both men have their respective IC tag title belt with him.)
Jonny: Man, I can't beleive you lost to High Flyer! That match was SO
Evan: I know. The Game should be the Pacific champion right now. Well,
will go on. I can't help feel screwed though.
Jonny: Well, you should.
Evan: Don't forget though, I get my shot at Kestler Sunday, and I KNOW
beat him for sure.
Jonny: I'm sure you can. After all, what can he really do that can beat
Send his Gorn after you? HA!
Evan: Yeah. Aside from that Gorn, Kestler has nothing. Except for the
title that I should have.
Jonny: Well, you will after this Sunday. After that, you can be a
Evan: Yeah. It'll be cool. Hey, why don't you go for a singles title
Jonny: Good idea. I'm thinking.....World's.
Evan:......How about no Jonny.
Jonny: I was just saying.......
Jonny: Cool. As long as it's some sort of title, I'll be happy.
Evan: That's the way to think.
(The scene fades out.)
JT: OUCH!! That isn't good!!
Cyber Cyclone: Who's yo daddy, I say who's yo daddy!?!
GP: Umm..I think Cyclone is a little bit of a flamer...
JT: Yeah Stinkey, we said FLA-MER!!
JT: Fag, he's a homosexual, gay, flamer, like you!!
GP: Umm..let's leave him alone..now Cyclone is taking advantage of DBB,
DBB blocks a whipping, and a clothesline from hell!! What a move!! He
to pound on Cyclone, he picks him up, Cyber Cyclone jumps off and a
clothesline now from CC!! CC once again takes advantage of DBB, he
into a fence, and starts to pound away, trying to bust him open, but
doesn't seem to be working!! DBB now once again making a comeback, CC's
punches aren't affecting him, DBB side swipes Cyclone, and tackles him
ground, he finds a shovel, CC is up, DBB swings and Cyclone moves,
the panda's cage!!! OH NO!! THE LOCK FELL OFF AND THE DOOR SWINGS
JT: RUN RUN RUN!!!
GP: Cyber Cyclone and Da Bronx Bro are taking off, DBB hops onto the
and Cyclone is still running for his life!! Cyclone stops and fakes out
panda, he hops into a jeep and is taking off!!
JT: Hey, this kinda reminds me of the scene from Jurrassic Park where
is chasing them in that jeep!! HAHA!!
GP: Shutup!! WAIT!! DBB is on the roof shooting the panda with a
tranquilizer!! He jumps off, runs and see's that he shot the panda..
Da Bronx Bro: SHIT I MISSED AGAIN!!
GP: OHH!! Cyber Cyclone just hit DBB with that car!! He gets out..
Cyber Cyclone: SHIT! MY TAG TEAM PARTNER!! HE'S OUT COLD!! NoOOOOO!!!
JT: HAHA!!! These two are pure idiots!!
GP: Cyclone is helping DBB up, DBB pushes him over, and a clothesline
Bronx Bro!! How in the world did he pull that one off?!?!?! DBB now
control ONCE again, DBB throws him into the fence again, and jumps, AND
SPLASH!! He starts to pound on Cyclone and throws him into the panda
has a tranquilizer gun once again!! He's gonna shoot Cyber Cyclone!!
There's the cops, DBB turns around..
Da Bronx Bro: WHAT!! I DON'T HAVE ANY WEED ON ME!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!
Cop #1: We aren't here for that..you killed two animals!!
Da Bronx Bro: Oh.
GP: OH MY GOD!! DBB JUST SHOT ALL THE COPS!! HE TURNS AROUND AND CYBER
CYCLONE IS GONE, NO, HE'S ON TOP OF THE CAGE, HE JUMPS OFF AND LANDS ON
THE PIN, 1..2..THR! NOOO!! DBB BARELY KICKS OUT!! Cyclone now setting
his finisher..wait, DBB gets up and drop kicks him to the back of the
and now he's going for The Bronx Express!! And he connects!! He is goin
the pin!! 1...2...3!!! DBB WINS!! CYCLONE IS OFF THE TEAM AT BROKEN
BROKEN BONES 2!!
JT: Good, DBB doesn't need Cyclone to take on "The Foreign
(The scene opens on Psycho Jay and Vincent sitting in their locker
Jay: Okay Vincent, no cussing. We're being charged $50,000 every time
from now on, and you're going to put us in the red.
Vincent: Uh.....MOTHER F*CKING C*CK SUCKING B*TCH DAMN SHIT!
Jay: Well, you just cost us atleast $200,000 or $300,000. Depending on
whether Chairman Dane counts sucking and damn as cussing.
Vincent: WELL DAMN MOTHER F*CKING B*TCH C*CK!
Jay: And there goes my new car. Nice going.
Vincent: VINCENT DON'T CARE ABOUT NO F*CKING DAMN CAR OF NO B*TCH!
Jay: Vincent, stop. Pretty soon, I'm going to have to sell my wrestling
clothes, and I'm not going out there in the bare.
Vincent: YOU SURE AS HELL WILL IF MOTHER F*CKING VINCENT KEEPS MOTHER
Jay: Just put this pop sickle in your mouth. That should shut you up.
Vincent: MOTHER F*CKING VINCENT IS NOT MOTHER......
(Jay shoves a pop sickle in Vincent's mouth.)
Vincent: *Assorted Mumbling Noises*
Jay: There we go!
::Scene opens and Chairman Dane walks out.::
C.Dane:Bad news fans...Rob Kestler and Scott Stone missed their
Intercontinental Tag Team Titles
Evan Levine and Johnny Allen vs. The Foreign Legion
This should be a great battle for the I/C tag titles. FL have held the
titles before and are very worthy of gaining control of em' again.
Levine and Allen were able to dethrone BHB that alone says alot.
Should be a
GP: We've got another great match coming up right now as The Foreign
will take on the new tag team sensation Evan Levine and Jonnny Allen.
JT: Is it me or does Foreign Legion have a title shot at every card?
SBW: They are a top tag team in the IWO they deserve it.
JT: Yeah well they can't be that good cause they never win their title
GP: Well we're gonna head to the ring for the announcements of this
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a tag
match for the IWO INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
first, the challengers, at a combined weight of exactly 500 pounds!!!!!
are Brother Al and Crazy Canuck.......THE FOREIGN LEGION!!!!!!!!
(The British National Anthem starts up, then changes into "Fire, Water,
Burn(The roof is one fire) by the Bloodhound Gang kicks in as Brother
Crazy Canuck makes their way down to the ring.)
Ring Announce: And their opponents, they are the IWO Intercontinental
champions, here are Johnny Allen and Evan Levine.......GENERATION
("P.O.S." by Head blasts as Levine and Allen walk down the ramp to the
GP: We're gonna start this one off the good old fashioned way, Evan
and Crazy Canuck will start things off.
SBW: They lock up. Canuck knees Levine in the gut and sends him to
GP: Canuck catches bounces off the other ropes and SPEARS LEVINE! I
Canuck might have nearly went right through Levine! Now Canuck picks
and plants him with a DDT. The quick cover,
JT: When will the Foreign LOSERS learn that they're not going to win.
SBW: They have won plenty of times in the past JT.
JT: Shut the hell up you queer, the only reason these scrubs get title
matches is so they can do the J.O.B. fucking moron.
SBW: You had better start doing the F.U.C.K. or I'll have Chairman
out here and reprimand you.
JT: Eat my ass.
GP: Crazy Canuck is dominating Evan Levine. He's keeping him isolated
prevent the tag to Johnny Allen.
JT: You really think Canuck is that smart? He's probably just beating
up and it coincidentally is on the other side of the ring.
GP: Well whatever the case may be, Canuck is stomping a mudhole into
He pulls Evan to his feet and places him on the top turnbuckle! Canuck
climbs up with him. Wait! Levine just punched Canuck off the top!
comes crashing down to the mat. Here comes Levine off the top
KNEEDROP! Kneedrop right across Canuck's throat. Levine makes the
here comes Johnny Allen.
JT: The man.
SBW: Why must you always cheer bad guys.
JT: There's no such thing as a bad guy dickhead. Allen is the man
he won a belt in his first match in the IWO.
GP: That is true.
SBW: Yes, but Allen isn't a F.U.C.K.er.
JT: You're a F.U.C.K.-up.
GP: Well Allen picks up Canuck and whips him to the ropes, dropkick
Allen sends Canuck to the outside! Allen gets a running start and
the top ropes onto Canuck! Canuck falls back into the guardrail. Now
is grabbing a chair! He swings it at Canuck, but Canuck ducks!
JT: Stop rhyming Dr. Seuss.
GP: Well it just rhymed I didn't do it on purpose. Now Canuck kicks
chair into Allen's face with a standing side kick! Canuck throws Allen
in the ring.
SBW: He knows you can't win a title by countout.
JT: No shit Slacky B. Spillacky.
SBW: I won't even bother.
GP: Canuck sends Allen to the ropes, huge back body drop! Now Canuck
the tag to Brother Al. Canuck holds Allen as Al kicks him in the ribs.
Brother Al slaps on an abdominal stretch! Here comes Levine. He
Brother Al, who holds onto Allen and rolls it into a pin! Canuck
clotheslines Levine out of the ring!
SBW: That was close.
JT: How many times do I have to tell you the Legion ain't gonna win.
SBW: No you suck!
JT: You get loud with me one more time Slippery and I'll break your
GP: Brother Al picks up Allen and whips him to the ropes. Allen comes
flying back with a cross body press! He hooks Al's legs!
JT:OH HE GOT HIM!
GP:YAH! Generation Rage or whatever they are calle wins!
::Chairman Dane walks out again.::
C.Dane:Well I just got word that Mad Max was attacked by a killer hot
stand and King Sting was ate by a giant rabbit so Max get's another
after the PPV...and it will be a poop match....wait that's not PC....oh
Dane Wilt vs. Phelen Kell
::The scene fades in, we see Greg Parker, JT, and Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks
sitting at the broadcasters booth. They all are sitting looking at the
camera. Greg begins to speak.::
GP: Ladies and gentlemen we have reached the final match here tonight. This
match was made at special request of "The Legend" Phelen Kell. As we all know
full well Phelen Kell and Dane Wilt do not have any kind of love loss for
eachother. It is full out hatred. And Phelen Kell tonight sets out to end
this once and for all...he is out to dismantle the IWO World Champion Dane
SBW: Thats right Greg. Dane Wilt has lit a fire inside of Phelen Kell that
over passes even the fire that Zombie began. Phelen Kell doesn't hate many
people, but one person that he truely does hate is Dane Wilt. Tonight we'll
see who comes out of that cage and who doesn't....
JT: Dane's got the goods.....he can do this. Like you said...noone has ever
gotten to Phelen Kell...the way Dane has. Dane has masterminded and plotted
and has rained on Kells parade so many times. He and the former Billion
Dollar Promotion will probably always be in Kells mind. And I see Dane
winning this one without any kind of help.
GP: ....ladies and gentlemen a video package has been set up to show some of
the highlights of this on going war between "The Super Heel"....and "The
::The screen fades to black and we hear the mellow intro to the song "Sober"
by TOOL. We see slow motion shots of Phelen Kell defeating various opponents.
Suddenly the music scrapes as though a needle on a record had just cut it
off. It goes straight into the song "Alright, Oh Yeah" by Local H as we see
Dane Wilt standing with what used to be the Billion Dollar Promotion. Overdub
of an old Dane Wilt interview is heard.::
Dane: And I will be World Champion....at any
::The song stops again. Suddenly the famous tune played in numerous horror
movies known as "Carmina Burana" is heard as we see scenes of Dane Wilt and
Phelen Kell fighting. We see first footage of Phelen Kells wife Sue being
attacked by the Billion Dollar Promotion. Fade into a shot of Phelen Kell in
the ring standing next to her on the ground with a look of complete rage
covering his face. Fade directly into Dane Wilt smiling and walking to the
back. We cut to the May Mayhem Match. We see footage of Kell and Wilt and
hear Big Scott Webber only slightly above the music.::
BSW: But the action still goes on. Oh no....ladies and gentlement Dane Wilt
and Phelen Kell have just spotted eachother....this is a bad, bad thing. Look
as they rush one another! Kell goes down on top of Wilt! They are just street
brawling! Oh my god! Look at this! they're like two street thugs! Kell is
pounding on Wilts face! Now Wilt flips over on top and begins head butting
Kell! Total Animal Instinct.....Animal Instinct....Animal Instinct.....
::Fade into months later, we see Phelen Kell and Dane Wilt standing eye to
eye. We hear the voice of Jamie Kosoy.::
Kosoy: The main event....for this months Ice Age pay per view...will be none
other than "Genetic Perfection" Dane Wilt facing "The Legend" Phelen Kell in
a Perfection Match...as requested by Dane Wilt..Wilt....Wilt.....Wilt....
::Go straight into clips from Ice Age. We see Phelen Kell and Dane Wilt
ripping eachother to shreds in the Perfection Match.::
GP......look in the ring now! Kell is powering his way to his feet now! Kell
powers out! The two men look at eachother. Dane begins hammering on Phelens
shoulders now! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Kell isn't falling though! He's
returning with rounds of his own! The fans are going nuts! I can hardly hear
myself talk! Kell kicks Wilt in the stomach! STUN GUN (Stone Cold Stunner) TO
WILT! KELL FOR A PIN.......
Shallow:Wilt is now about out....the vet is checking....theirs
three..NO! NO! WILT IS STILL IN THIS! Kell let's go and grabs Dane's arm
in and turns him inside out with a monsterous clothesline! Kell picks Wilt up
and is going for a DVD maybe no Wilt squirms out....FACE LIFT! FACE LIFT!
FACE LIFT! FACE LIFT! Kell goes Down...Face Lift right to the back of the
::Flash forward as song continues to play.::
GP:OH NO! KELL IS GRABBING HIMSELF AND STRUGGLING TO GET TO HIS
FEET.....WILT IS NOW STANDING UP TOP...KELL'S STILL BENT DOWN IN THE
CENTER OF THE RING....WILT OFF THE TOP BOX OFFICE SMASH!!!! BOX
OFFICE SMASH (SHOOTING STAR PRESS INTO A DDT)! KELL'S BODY JUST
FELL LIMP! DANE IS OUT TOO!!!! DANE JUST LAID HIS HAND ON KELL'S
CHEST.....THE COVER.....1......2......3! DANE GET'S A FALL! DANE GET'S A
WE STILL HAVE ABOUT 1 MINUTE LEFT AND WILT JUST ROLLED OUT OF
THE RING.....KELL....IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!
GP:KELL IS LAYING KNOCKED OUT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING....WILT IS
RESTING ON THE SECURITY RAIL. KELL ISN'T MOVEING YET....THE VET IS
SCREAMING FOR HIM TO GET UP.....THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS.....THEY
WANNA SEE KELL GET THE FALL TO TIE DANE UP!
SHALLOW:DANE IS JUST STANDING ON THE OUTSIDE WITH HIS HANDS
RAISED HIGH IN THE AIR....KELL IS GETTING UP! KELLS ON ONE KNEE!
KELL'S PULLING HIMSELF UP WITH THE ROPES......HE IS FINALLY ON TWO
FEET....KELL IS STUMBLEING TOWARDS THE OUTSIDE...KELL BASEBALL
SLIDES WILT INTO THE GUARD RAIL! KELL NOW IS FRANTICALLY
PUNCHING DANE.....KELL KNOWS HE NEEDS A BIG MOVE HERE....KELL
JUST CHOPPED DANE RIGHT IN HIS HEAD AND NOW SCOOPS HIM UP IN A
TORTURE RACK.....OH! REVERSE DVD! NOW KELL JUMPS UP ON THE APRON
AND CLIMBS TO THE TOP....FLYING SENTON OFF ONTO WILT! WILT'S DONE
NOW! VET SLIDES OUT OF THE RING FOR THE COVER.......1......2.....
::SUDDENLY THE BELL RINGS::
GP:3! KELL GOT HIM...WE HAVE OVERTIME!
SHALLOW:WAIT NO! THE VETERAN IS SIGNALING NO!!!!! THE BELL RANG
BEFORE THE 3 COUNT! OH MY GOD! KELL CAME SO CLOSE!
GP:KELL ALMOST BEAT HIS ARCH ENEMEY DANE WILT! WHAT A MATCH!!!
I DON'T BELIEVE DANE WON....WON....won....won....
::We flash forward to still images of Dane and Phelen, we hear them from the
Real Audio show with Johnny Shallow.::
Phelen: Dane did not win that match....and I can prove it.
Phelen: When that bell rang it was exactly nintey seconds behind. Harlequin
timed it. I would've had that fall...it would have counted! And the match
should have continued.
Shallow: I think that calls for a rematch down the road.
Phelen: I've got three words for you...Beverly Hills
Dane: Now Phelen is that any way to talk to someone who...HAD your son?
Phelen: What do you mean had?
Dane: Well.....Michael Dudley makes a mean BBQ sauce and ya know we just had
Victors carcass layin on the Coffee table so we had ourselves a fine meal.
Phelen: I'M GONNA KILL YOU! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU DANE! YOUR DAYS ARE
Dane: Now now calm dow-
Phelen: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
Shallow:Alright guys its time to go bye-
::We see now white words in front of a pitch black screen, scrolling across
in different areas of the screen, one line at a time.::
Two men who's hatred has grown stronger by each day....
Two men...who have both tasted victory...
One man....the incarnation arrogance...and evil....
The other.....a respected hero.....
This has gone on long enough....
The time has come to end this war...
Will our hero survive the onslaught?
Or will he be engulfed in the flames?
::Across the screen flashes a picture of Dane Wilt holding the world title.
He is bloody, and sweating. Screen goes black and we see his name "Dane
Wilt". A picture of Phelen Kell standing on the scaffold at the Mayhem Match
raising his arms in victory and screaming at the top of his lungs is seen.
Screen goes black and we see his name "Phelen Kell". Screen stays black and
we see "Cage Match........the final chapter...." as the song ends and the
Hostile Takeover logo appears above the words that have stopped in the center
of the screen. We fade out and back to the commentators.::
GP:.....and now....we go down to the ring for word from our announcer.....
::The crowd is silent as the bell rings twice.::
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...this bout....is a non-title bout, scheduled
for one fall....and has been given the title..."End of a War" by journalists
around the world...tonight....we will see two men collide...who's utter
disdain for eachother has come to the climax...here tonight....ladies and
gentlemen...this match is a Cage Match....the rules are as follows....the
first man to get out of this sixteen foot high steel cage lowering as I speak
and touch both feet to the ground...will be declared the victor. And
now...let us announce these two combatants....
::"Alright, Oh Yeah" begins to play. The fans begin to boo madly as Dane Wilt
walks onto the IWO rampway. He looks totally focused on the task at hand as
he stands on the ramp watching the cage come down and listening to the
Announcer: Introducing first...hailing from Hollywood California.....he
stands at five feet..eleven inches tall....and weighs two hundred and thirty
pounds......he is a former IWO Intercontinental and World Tag Team
champion....IWO North American champion...and two time IWO World
Champion.....he is "The Super Heel"...he is the IWO HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF
THE WOOOOOOOOOOORLD "Genetic Perfection"....DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE
::Dane, looking totally focused, walks down to the ring, already taken his
title off, he is ready to fight. He stares straight ahead not paying any
attention to the fans rants. He steps inside of the now totally ready cage
Announcer: And his opponent...
::The lights dim to a light gray color. The fans go totally ballistic at the
sound of the bass riff everyone knows as the song "Sober" by TOOL begins to
play. Phelen Kell walks out onto the ramp wearing his face paint and
wrestling attire. He has come ready to fight. His face is totally
expressionless as he looks down inside the ring at Dane Wilt, who gives the
same cold gaze back. Kell stands in place looking at the fans, and looking at
the cage..he listens.::
Announcer: he comes from Chicago Illinois, standing in at six feet....and two
inches.....he weighs two hundred and fifty-five pounds.....he is a former IWO
Television champion....the first and only ever three time IWO World Tag Team
champion........the first and only...three time IWO World Heavyweight
champion....and is also the only man to have ever won the Mayhem Match and
the Mall Brawl both..."The Phoenix"...."The Legend"....call him...what you
::Phelen begins the long walk to the ring. He looks ahead at Dane the entire
time, through the steel fencing of the cold cage. Kell stops at the entrance
to the cage and looks down in the front row to his family: Sue-Anne,
Vladamir, Willow, and Trent...who all watch on. Trent smiles at Phelen and
nods. Phelen looks through the doors and steps inside.::
GP: And here we go ladies and gentlemen....the announcer and the referees
have left the cage, and have locked the door behind them. Kell and Wilt are
standing in opposite corners just staring at eachother.
SBW: Uh-oh...movement....they're standing eye to eye now in the center of the
ring! They're just looking at eachother. Their noses are touching and they're
talking to eachother.
GP: One can only imagine what they're saying.
JT: They're probably talking about how they wish Jim Ross was here instead of
you Greg. HAHAHAHA-
GP: Oh man Stinky you really flattened him! He's out cold!
GP: Kell and Wilt are still talking back and fourth, the crowd is getting
restless waiting for the first move. And they have it! Kell and Wilt begin
exchanging punches! Left by Kell, left by Wilt, right by Kell, right by Wilt!
Kell punches Wilt! Wilt goes for another punch, Phelen ducks it and grabs
Dane by the arm twisting it and dropping Dane Wilt to the mat. Phelen thrusts
back as hard as he can on it! Wilt is screaming! Phelen releases and rolls
away and up to his feet. Wilt to his feet...they're just looking at eachother
SBW: These two are totally focused...I've never seen two people quite so
GP: Your right. Usually by now Dane Wilt would be applying his natural heel
charm and be playing with the persons mind. But he's just looking straight
through Phelen, and Phelen is doing the same to him.
SBW: Signs of life! Kell and Wilt lock up! Kell grabs Wilts arm again and
begins twisting it into an arm bar, Wilt now flipping out of it and throwing
Kell for a Hip toss! But Kell stops the momentum of that and applys a Full
Nelson, Dane pulls Phelen over his shoulders to try and back to back pin him.
Kell releases and rolls himself over and landing on his feet goes for a
clothesline, Dane ducks it and as Phelen turns around tries for THE FACE
LIFT! KELL GRABS DANES FOOT AND SWEEPS THE OTHER OUT FROM UNDER HIM! ELBOW TO
THE GROIN BY KELL! WOW!
GP: That was incredible!
SBW: These two have eachother down pat. Kell knows Danes every move and Dane
knows Kells. Its like a mirror match with added bonuses on either side. This
is already shaping up to be great. Kell now lifts Dane up to his feet and
grabs him by the hair. He pulls Dane and throws him directly into the cold
steel cage walls!
GP: We can hear it clang from up here as Dane Wilt walks clumbsily backward.
Kell grabs him by the hair again and rams him into the cage wall again but
doesn't release. He begins rubbing Danes face agains the cage! He's just
rubbing away! He stops and Backward DDTs Dane into the mat! Phelen Kell is
out for blood!
SBW: Kell is standing above Wilt screaming at him to stand up!
Phelen: GET UP! GET UP MOTHERFUCKER! COME ON SUPER HEEL! YOU SON OF A BITCH!
NOW IS NOT THE TIME GET THE FUCK UP!
SBW: Dane is standing up now and shaking off the cob webs. He and Kell begin
to circle eachother now....they lock up once again. This time Dane has the
advantage. He grabs Phelen by the face and rakes his eyes. Kell backs away
grabbing his eyes and gets a Belly To Belly suplex from Dane. Dane continues
on by applying a headlock for a moment and standing Kell back up. He runs and
springs his legs off of the Cage turning it into a Tornado Bulldog! Dane
holds onto the headlock. He stands Kell up in it again and goes off of the
cage for a second Tornado Bulldog but Kell stops it and drops backward
slamming Danes head into the mat!
GP: Oh that had to friggin hurt! Kell now stands up and grabs Dane by the
feet. Oh no! Kell synches on his original finisher early in the match! He has
Malicious Intent (STF/Scorpion Death Lock mixture) hooked on! Dane is
screaming in pain! He can barely open his jaw because Phelen has his hands
cupped around it pulling back on the back and neck and also pulling on the
legs. Damn it Kell stop this! There is no tapping out in this match! You'll
SBW: Wow you care about Dane Wilt?
GP: No but I don't wanna see the bastard die!
SBW: Thats true....and don't say that word!
GP: What word?
SBW: The B word.
SBW: NO! But don't say that either!
SBW: Now your just messing with me poo-head.
GP: Sorry. Anyway...Phelen has released the hold and now has Dane in the
corner. Kell is hanging him upside down now in the corner and going over to
the opposite one. He is running in at Dane!
GP: TREE OF WOE! TREE OF WOE! I've never seen Kell use that before!
JT: Jeez..whats Kell gonna do now? Get fat, shrink, lose most of his hair and
dye the rest blonde and use a Double Stomp for a finisher? Heheheh!
SBW:......what're you talking about?
JT: It was a joke! You know.....Tree of Woe....Double Stomp....Kevin
Sullivan. Guy with blonde hair, going bald...short and fat....its Kevin
Sullivan. Get it?
GP: Your stupid.
JT: HEY FUCK YOU BOTH!
SBW: Don't curse.
JT: FUCK YOU!
GP:Uh-oh commercial Break
GP: Kell lifts Dane up off the ground but gets low blowed. Dane now
Kell and Implant DDTs(Jumping DDT) him into the mat! Dane rolls over on
of Kell and begins gouging his eyes! He's gouging them! Kell is
rolls Wilt over and knees him in the stomach to stop him. Both men are
mat now! Kell rubbing his eyes and Wilt gasping for air. Kell is first
feet. He goes to grab Danes hair. Dane turning quickly on the ground
Phelen Kells feet out from under him and immidiately rolling onto Kell,
hyperextending his arm!
JT: This match is turning into a damn UFC match! Come on guys, kill
don't just fuckin do this technical bullshit!
SBW: Hey I happen to believe that the technical battle is much more
than just a bunch of gore and blood!
JT: Oh shut the hell up I didn't ask you ya little twit!
SBW: I don't have to take that from you ya know! I'm getting Chairman
this! You watch! I will!
JT: Why don't you just have him wipe your ass for you while your at it
little F.U.C.K. head!
SBW: Hey I only asked him to do that once! You don't need to mock me
SBW: Hehe....it was a joke guys....a joke.
it? Get it? Hehehe....
JT: Ya damn flamer.
SBW: Be quiet stink face!
JT: Don't make me end your life ya fruity little dinner masher!
SBW: SHUT UP!
GP: GUYS! Match here...Dane Wilt still hyperextending Kells arm. Kell
attemtping to get out. He is rolling himself over somehow and now has
a scissorlock with his legs. Dane is gasping for air as Kell applies
around Danes neck. Phelen releases and rolls backward. Dane sits up and
a clothesline! NO!
SBW: The clothesline is blocked into a crossface by Dane. Kell is down
Wilt applying pressure on that arm again and pulling back, to an almost
surfboarding of Kells back. Phelen Kell is screaming out in pain.
folks Phelens back is still injured. And once again, he is NOT cleared
wrestle here. Just like he wasn't for the Gauntlet Match last week.
JT: Yeah he's a fucking idiot for doing this.
GP: Hey JT, it takes heart and dedication to be willing to put your
the line like this. Phelen Kell is a true legend in the IWO, and he's
it right now in that cage!
GP: Ass....anyway...I apologize for that....JT is...as always....a
And now we take you back to the ring where Dane Wilt has released the
Crossface and is trying to escape the cage by going over the top! He is
climbing up the side. But Phelen Kell gets to his feet and runs over to
cage wall climbing up beside Dane. He grabs him by the hair and gets
around Danes head! REVERSE DDT OFF OF THE CAGE! WILT IS DOWN!
SBW: Phelen is trying to make a come back now. He stands up wincing as
straightens his back. Lifting Dane Wilt up he throws him to the ropes,
comes back and is met by Phelen Kell airborne with a Mafia Kick
Wilts face! Kell obviously a martial arts expert!
JT: Why does everyone always say that when a wrestler can do one kick?
SBW: We don't.
JT: Yes you do. And so does every other federation. Its pathetic.
SBW: Ah, but Phelen Kell is. He is trained in Bujinkan Ninjitsu, Judo,
Shaolin Kung Fu. Eh? Eh? Eh? Suck on that lemon JT!
GP: Phelen Kell has Dane up into an Airplane spin maneuver! I haven't
that one in years! Noone uses that anymore! He spins and spins and
BAM! Down into a Death Valley Driver! Magnificent! Noone does that
SBW: That was kind of a flash back to the old school wasn't it?
GP: Yeah. And Phelen is continuing....he grabs Dane by the feet and
slingshotting Wilt into the turnbuckle. but Dane flies up over the
and into the corner of the cage! He comes back down and you can see
above his left eye, the cage has opened "The Super Heel" up! Phelen
and is going for it. But Dane pokes Phelen in the eyes! Phelen staggers
backwards and Dane comes shooting quickly off of the ropes. NO! He
climbs the cage. But he doesn't try to get out! He jumps off Crecent
Kell in the back! Phelen archs his back and hits the mat on his knees!
SBW: Dane is applying a Camel Clutch now! That...that.....stupid head
gonna kill Kell!
JT: Oh one can only hope.
SBW: Shoosh up!
JT: Blow me!..no....don't blow me....fag.
GP: Phelen is in some major pain here! Dane is yanking back on Kells
OH! Phelen forces out of it throwing Dane forward rolling over onto his
Phelen struggles to his feet. He is clinging to the ropes! Dane runs
toward him kicking his feet out from under him! Phelen falls in between
ropes and the cage. Dane pulls him up and begins grating his face
cage! He's grating! And grating! And now pulls Kell in backwards
ropes into a neck breaker! Phelen is down. Dane now has his eyes on the
door. He's going for it! But no! Phelen grabs Danes foot! he won't let
SBW: And Dane retaliates with a stomp on Phelens face. Kell releases.
see that both men are now cut open. Phelens eyebrow has been split and
looks like there is a gash across Danes entire forehead. Dane goes for
door. The referee is trying to unlock it. Oh no! The ref dropped the
the lock! Dane is screaming at him! The referee is all flustered! He's
to find the key! They don't have an extra one! Looks like the only way
over the top of the cage! Phelen Kell is up! The fans are going nuts!
cursing at the ref! He doesn't realize it yet! Phelen walks up behind
and stands there! Dane turns and is scared to death! Kell grabs him
armpit and around the neck into a Butterfly Suplex over his head!
Dane are both standing, Dane comes at Kell! Kell grabs Wilt! T-Bone
now! Phelen is on fire. He is trying to get out of the cage now! He is
way there! No! Dane leaps up the side of the cage and grabs Phelen by
tights, throwing him to the mat! Dane now off the side of the cage with
elbow drop straight into Phelen Kells heart! Ouch!
GP: Both men are lying on the mat now, gasping for air, and bleeding
face. Phelen Kells face paint is nonexistant and is instead covered in
crimson mask. Dane Wilts face looks like it was just put in a grinder!
men are making slight movement but nothing spectacular as you can see.
is now trying for a pin attempt. He must be confused...this match is
out of the cage. No pins! Dane has his arm draped over Kell. Neither
moving. The fans are starting to cheer loud as ever now! The magnitude
screaming is incredible. I can barely hear myself with these headphones
ladies and gentlemen! Signs of life now in the ring! Phelen Kell has
Danes arm from his chest and is crawling slowly but surely toward the
he doesn't know that the key is gone! He is at the door! The referee is
explaining the situation and you can see the look in Kells eyes...it
JT: Yeah he's saying "You dumb ass, find the key or I'm gonna kill
is moving now. He's showing life. Kell is trying to stand up again. He
leaning against the ropes once more. He is attempting to climb this
foot structure once again. Dane is aswell! Both men climbing the same
Dane is trying to pull Kell off. Kell is trying to kick Dane off!
SBW: Neither man is giving in! They're both climbing to the top!
at the top of this sixteen foot high steel cage! The blood and sweat is
flying everywhere as they throw punches back and fourth at the top!
punches! Phelen blocks and pokes him in the eyes! Dane is hanging on by
feet now! Hanging upside down! He's trying to pull himself up! Kell is
of the cage! One foot on either side! WHATS HE DOING?
GP: Phelen Kell is helping Dane Wilt up! He's helping his arch enemy
WHY IS HE....KELL TRICKED HIM! HE PUNCHES HIM AND PULLS HIM UP ON TOP!
WITH WILT OFF OF THE CAGE AND BACK INTO THE RING! STEEL RAIN POWERBOMB
THE TOP OF THE SIXTEEN FOOT HIGH STEEL CAGE BY PHELEN KELL! DANE IS
UNCONCIOUS! KELL IS UNCONCIOUS! OH MY GOD! OH MY
JT: SHUT UP! Christ first its Jim Ross, and now Joey Styles? Why the
would you wanna be that little prick?
GP: SHUT UP JT!
SBW: This match is over ladies and gentlemen. Both men are unconcious
ring! That fall took everything out of them. Both men are lying in
their own sweat, tears and blood, and there is no movement coming from
ring. The sheer look of terror upon the Kell familys faces at ringside
tell the story. Sue-Anne is crying. Vladamir is holding her. Willow is
her eyes out and yelling Phelens name. But neither man is moving! This
gone to far! This war has gone to far! The medics are coming quickly
the ring! They have bolt cutters. They're cutting the chain off of the
to the cage and coming inside. Both men are being placed on stretchers
and carted out. The fans are in awstruck. The Kell family, lead by
Kell and Trent McFarlane are following the medics to the back...
GP: We can see the ambulance now.....god....I'm not a big Dane Wilt
supporter....as a matter of fact I hate the man, but I hope he is
alright...just as much as I hope to god that Phelen Kell is
sheer amount of life that these two men have put into this match...to
war that has been happening...and to entertain you all....its amazing
what they are willing to do to themselves...Phelen Kells hatred....his
for Wilt has taken him to a new level here tonight for sure.
SBW: Oh no!
SBW: Look inside of the ambulance. Phelen Kell is moving! He is moving!
Wilt! They're looking at eachother and they begin fighting again! Kells
family is trying to stop the two! Phelen and Dane are out of the
going at it again! They're throwing punches! Lefts! Rights! Lefts!
Kell with a kick to Danes stomach and a DDT on the hard concrete floor!
lifts Dane up and throws him into a Bruiser-Cola machine! Phelen rips
chorde out of the machine and wraps it around Danes legs, almost hog
him. He is dragging Dane through the backstage area! He's pulling him
the IWO rampway now! The fans are going insane as they see Phelen
Dane down and into the ring through the cage doors!!! Phelen is yelling
the referee to restart the match! The referee does so and shuts and
door with the spare equipment. This match is still underway!
JT: These two won't quit!
GP: I told you! I told you damn it! Phelen Kell has heart! And hell
does to! This one is going again! Both men are standing inside of the
toe to toe throwing fists back and fourth. These two battered and
men and giving it all they've got here! Dane throws Phelen into the
back body drops him to the mat. Dane stumbles backward and falls to the
on top of Kell in an elbow-like way. He stands up as quick as he
isn't that fast, and lifts Phelen up. Dane stands back and comes in
SUPER KICK! THAT WAS THE FACE LIFT! ITS OVER! ITS OVER! IF DANE CAN GET
OF THE CAGE THIS ONE IS OVER! DANE IS WALKING TOWARD THE DOOR! NO! NO!
COLLAPSED! DANE JUST COLLAPSED! HE IS SO CLOSE! SO CLOSE! PHELEN KELL!
KELL IS TRYING TO STAND UP! HE IS STUMBLING TOWARD THE DOOR! THE DOOR
OPEN! KELL IS ALMOST THERE! NO! NO! THAT DAMN DANE WILT! THAT GOD DAMN
WILT HAS PHELEN KELLS FOOT! HE PULLS HIM DOWN BAM! HIS FACE HITS THE
BOTH MEN DOWN AGAIN! THE DOOR IS SHUT AND LOCKED AGAIN!
SBW: What an electrifying match up this is! Kell is now coming to his
again. As is Dane Wilt. Dane swings at Phelen, Phelen ducks it and goes
kick to Danes stomach. Dane grabs the foot and spins Phelen around for
Atomic Drop! Dane lifts Phelen into the air! Phelen flips over Danes
and grabs him for a German Suplex! Dane with a back heel kick to the
sends Phelen to the mat! These two are working on their third and
GP: Dane now lifting Phelen up and grabbing him by the hair he throws
head first into the cage. Kell hits the cage and falls to the mat hard.
off of the ropes into a Running Senton Splash. Phelen is holding his
after that one. Dane lifts Phelen up once again and rakes his eyes with
fierce war scream. Dane is putting his all into this match just as much
Phelen here! I've gotta give "Genetic Perfection" credit where credit
he is one hell of a fighter! Dane now grabbing Phelen by the head,
BullDog Headlock sends Phelen into the mat once again. Dane stays
the ground for a moment thinking about his next move and catching his
The fans are just eating this up! The electricity in the building is
SBW: Dane now standing up, pulls Phelen up. But Kell isn't
only on his knees and hanging on to Dane for stability. Dane with a
knuckle sandwich right into Kells already split eyebrow. And another!
another! Now an elbow! Dane is biting Kell! He is biting him! The World
Champion is biting "The Legend"!
GP: We can see Phelen Kells family just sitting back down in the front
again. This has been an amazing match! Dane now lifting Kell to his
throws Phelen to the ropes and leaps into the air for a Hurrican-ranna.
amazing to me Dane still had enough umph in him to do that!
SBW: Phelen is staggering to his feet now. And so is Wilt on the
side of the cage. Both men turn toward eachother and run at one
Double dropkick! Both men hit eachother with a dropkick! Don't ask me
But they did it! Both are back up again! Double clothesline! They're
again! They are running out of ideas here! Its become primal! Kill or
killed here for Dane Wilt and Phelen Kell!
GP: Kell is pulling himself up again. He lifts Wilt up and places him
Piledriver position. Kell lifts Dane up into a Cradle Piledriver into
mat! Phelen stands back up and goes for Danes legs. He lifts them up
begins spinning in circles!
JT: HAHAHA! What is this midget wrestling?
GP: SHUT UP JT!
SBW: Kell is spinning Dane Wilt in circles by his feet! he releases and
flies up against the side of the cage! Phelen falls to the mat in a
position. He dizzied himself! Danes arm is now cut open aswell!
into the cage opened up another wound! Danes once light blue and white
are now blood red! His bleach blonde hair aswell! But he presses on
stand! He goes to Phelen Kell lifting him up, bit by bit after each
the face. Phelen is looped! Dane throws Phelen into the ropes, Phelen
back! Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker by Wilt! Oh good god!
GP: Dane now is going toward the cage.He begins his assent.Dane is
Climbing with everything he's got left in him!But it just isn't enough
falls back into the ring!Phelen Kell stands up now, wiping the blood
his eyes.He is looking around.He see's Dane lying on the mat! He walks
and lifts Dane up!Kell now springing off of the middle rope and hitting
with a heel kick to the back of the head.Wilts head jerks forward like
child being shaken and he falls forward hanging on to the ropes!
GP: Dane is leaning on the top rope. He is just hanging there like a piece of
cloth. Phelen now is struggling to climb the top rope....he comes off with a
leg drop! Phelen falls between the cage and the ropes on the apron and Dane
is sprung backwards into the middle of the ring on the mat. Kell is clutching
his back and wincing. But he is standing up anyway damn it!
SBW: Phelen rolls through the ropes and stands up looking down at Dane.He
lifts Dane up and recieves a punch in the stomach that keels Phelen over.
Dane with a FameAsser to Phelen Kell! Kell is down now! Dane lifts him up and
takes him to the corner. He stands Phelen up and goes to the top. He comes
off for THE BOX OFFICE SMASH!(Shooting Star Press into a DDT) KELL IS DOWN!
HE IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT THIS TIME! I KNOW IT! There is no way he's gonna get
up from the Box Office Smash! No way in Wisconsin!
GP: Dane is standing up now! He is looking toward the cage! The fans are
beside themselves after this spectacular match up! Danes eyes are wide open,
his mouth is dangling open as he looks around. He is stumbling forward and
backward and has made his way to the side of the cage now. He begins to climb
the damn death trap once again! Phelen Kell is up! Kell is going toward the
cage now to! He follows Wilt up! Wilt doesn't even know Phelen is following
him! I think Wilt is moving on instinct. He is at the top now! Kell is to!
They see eachother! Both men are shocked. They immidiately begin punching at
eachother! Dane holding on with one hand and punching with the other! Phelen
doing the same thing! Both men connect with clean hooks! AND BOTH MEN FALL
BACK INTO THE RING AGAIN! DAMN IT! DAMN THEM FOR WANTING TO WIN! THIS IS
GONNA KILL THEM BOTH!
SBW: THEY'RE BOTH SUDDENLY FULL OF LIFE! KELL AND WILT ARE BOTH UP! THEY'RE
DUKING IT OUT! Dane grabs Phelens hand and twists it into an arm bar. Phelen
rolls his arm out of it putting Danes into the arm bar now! Dane runs forward
pulling Kell behind him. Wilt walks up the cage and over Phelens head! He
pulls him down into a Falling Reverse DDT! Dane has a chance now! He can go
for it all! He's going! Dane is climbing the cage once again! Phelen is up
though! He climbs the top rope and drop kicks Dane off of the side of the
cage! Dane hits the mat! Kell hung on to the cage! He's hanging on by a hand!
Kell gets hold! He is climbing! He's atleast thirteen feet up now! He's
almost to the top!
GP: HERE COMES WILT AGAIN! HE IS SHAKING THE CAGE TO BEAT HELL! Phelen is
dangling by one arm again now! He pulls the other arm on hold! Dane continues
to shake the cage as he climbs! Phelen is climbing again! Wilt is right
behind him! Phelen is at the top. He is pulling all of the energy he has into
this now! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS! DANE HAS PHELEN BY THE FOOT! PHELEN IS
PULLING WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT TO GET OVER THE CAGE! DANE IS PULLING WITH ALL
OF HIS MIGHT TO STOP KELL! PHELEN TURNS HOLDING ON BY ONE ARM! THIS IS RISKY!
SBW: KELL JUST SWUNG HIS ENTIRE BODY AT DANE AND PUT ALL THE WEIGHT INTO ONE
FOOT! DANE JUST GOT VAULTED FROM THE CAGE! HE HITS THE MAT! KELL IS PULLING
HIMSELF UP ONCE AGAIN! CAN HE DO THIS? HE'S ALMOST THERE!
GP: THE FANS HAVE NEVER SCREAMED AS LOUD AS THEY ARE RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND
AS PHELEN KELL MAKES HIS WAY! YES! HE IS OVER! BOTH FEET ARE OVER! KELLS
ENERGY IS GONE! HE FALLS THE SIXTEEN FEET TO THE GROUND OUTSIDE OF THE CAGE!
ITS OVER! ITS OVER! PHELEN KELL HAS DEFEATED DANE WILT! "THE LEGEND" HAS DONE
::"Sober" by TOOL begins to play as the camera shows us Dane Wilt laying on
the mat inside of the ring knocked out. The fans cheers is heard above the
music playing. The camera pans the crowd, we see fans everywhere going
absolutely bonkers. We hear the announcer.::
Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER....."THE
GP: PHELEN KELL HAS DEFEATED HIS ARCH ENEMY DANE WILT! Kells family is
jumping the gate and running to him. Vlad and Trent are standing Kell up.
Harlequin is cackling loudly! Willow and Sue are crying! AND LOOK AT THIS!
Phelen embrases his lovely wife as the fans go insane! What a night ladies
and gentlemen! What a night! The war is over!.....The war is over! For Stinky
B. Wizzlecheeks and JT, I'm Greg Parker.......and we'll see you next week for
another IWO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!!
::The scene fades to black as we see Phelen Kell standing, covered in blood
on the ramp holding his arms up in victory as "Sober" by TOOL continues to
[Unable to display image]
From the Tampa
The Family Wrestling show
LIVE! Whenver I decide to have another card
Tony Davis vs. Jax Stone
Chairman Dane vs. Co-VP John
Jake Maples vs. Harlequin
Trent McFarlane will be in action!
Mad Max gets a rematch for the extreme title!
"JESUS SHIT TITS"
- Kentucky Tarzan