("Suffocate" by Finger Eleven begins to play... The IWO logo appears on the screen... It fades away... The Monday Night Meltdown logo appears on the screen.. It melts away... The screen then cuts to highlights from past IWO events... The scene fades.. The music stops..)
(The scene opens up to a jam packed arena. The fans are going crazy. Fireworks are going off... The cameras zoom in on the announcers' table. We see Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki.)
GP - Welcome to Monday Night Meltdown... Apparently we are doing things differently here tonight. CO-VP John has announced that a very special ceremony will be held at the end of MNM.. So basically we have NO opening to the show.
JT - What do you think the ceremony is?
Nikki - Who knows...
GP - He has stated that it involves EVERY IWO wrestler back in the locker room..
JT - So this could be an explosion of fun? Or even a bomb shell being dropped here tonight.
Nikki - Or it could be a nice dynamite announcement.
GP - Too bad we aren't on TNT.
JT - Someone has to light the fuse.
Nikki - Whatever it is... It will be big... and could be bigger than what went down in Oklahoma City or even over in Japan!!!
GP - A booming night we have for you... Stay with us to see what kind of fire will take place.
JT - So what do we do now?
GP - ummm....
Nikki - GO TO COMMERCIAL!!!
Match #1 of the card
first match in the "Major Push Tournament"
Da Bronx Bro vs. Dan Hopkins
GP: Well fans, here comes our first HUGE match of the night.
JT: Yeah. Huge.
Nikki: Why are you so unenthusiastic when you got into the first match?
JT: Well, if you must know, I'm firmly against all rookies and or people I
feel are jobbers.
GP: But JT, this match will settle that! The winner of this four man
tournament gets a "major push!"
JT: "Major push?" HA! What does that mean? The person who wins gets to feud
with the holder of the prestigious TV title?
GP: Well, I don't know, but it can't be a bad thing for any of the men in
this tournament! Not to mention that we get to see Dan Hopkins going against
Da Bronx Bro.
JT: Oh goody, goody.
GP: And both men have started this thing early.....they are now trading blows
on the ramp way.......DBB lifts Hopkins up and tosses him over his head onto
JT: Hopkins is now laying on his back in pain!
GP: DBB now puts his feet on Hopkins' face....HE JUMPS ON HOPKINS' NOSE!
HOPKINS' NOSE HAS TO BE BROKEN!
JT: DBB nows pulls up Hopkins......SUPLEX ONTO THE RAMP!
Nikki: DBB now tosses Hopkins into the ring.....DBB jumps on the ropes....leg
drop onto Hopkins! DBB won't lay off this one!
JT: DBB now sets up Hopkins for a belly-to-belly....knee to the stomach of
DBB....belly-to-belly from Hopkins! Nice come back for Hopkins!
Nikki: Hopkins now pulls up DBB....DDT!
GP: Hopkins now goes to the top...elbow to the heart of DBB!
Nikki: Hopkins now grabs to the legs of DBB....he sling shots him out of the
ring! WHAT A MATCH!
GP: DBB now gets on the apron.....Hopkins slides under his legs to the floor
outside....HOPKINS POWERBOMBS DBB TO THE OUSTIDE!
JT: Hopkins now rolls DBB back into the ring.....Hopkins grabs DBB.....GERMAN
SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGE FOR HOPKINS!
GP: SO CLOSE!
JT: Hopkins now throws DBB into the ropes.......Hopkins goes for a close
line......DBB ducks......BRONX EXPRESS (Tilt-A-Whirl into Liger Bomb)! DBB
GP: DA BRONX BRO IS MOVING ON! WHAT A WIN!
JT: Whoo hoo. "Main event push." You know I'm pumped.
GP: Well, contrary to what JT has to say, that was truly a superb match!
GP - Welcome back and apparently Da Bronx Bro wants more of Dan Hopkins!!!
GP: Here we go!!! Round 1 of the Major Push Tournament!! AGAIN!!!!
JT: Can you say "JOBBERS"?! AGAIN!!!
Nikki: Let's just go up to Meygon.
(Meygon is in the ring ready to announce the participants.)
Meygon: AND NOW........THE PARTICIPANTS IN THIS MATCH......IN THE MAJOR PUSH
("Champagne" by Chris Rock plays as Dan Hopkins walks out.)
Meygon: Has this guy won a match in the past two months? I don't know!
ANYWAY, HE LIKES GOOD ENDINGS...........DAN HOPKINS!!
(No music plays as Da Bronx Bro comes out to the ring.)
Meygon: Ummmmm.............I THINK he has won a match....HE IS DA BRONX BRO!!
*DING DING DING*
JT: GOD DAMN IS THIS MATCH GOING TO SUCK!! AGAIN!!!
GP: Collar and elbow tieup... Da Bro shoves Hopkins to the corner. Bro with a
series of right hands, no, Dan slips away, places Da Bro in the corner,
CHOP!! ANOTHER CHOP!!!! Irish whip to the opposite corner, Hopkins charges,
BUT DA BRONX BRO GETS THE BOOT UP!! BRO WITH A KICK TO HE GUT!!! DDT!! DA
BRONX BRO COVERS THE GOOD BOY!! 1, 2, KICKOUT!!
JT: And now....Da Bro will go up top...double axhandle.....NO!!! GUTSHOT
FROM DAN HOPKINS CAUGHT HIM!! HOPKINS PICKS UP DA BRONX BRO!!! BRAINBUSTER!!!
THE GOOD BOY GOES UP TOP!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! A SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM
EVERYONE'S FAVORITE NEW JOBBER!!!!! HE GETS UP!!! HE DROPS AN ELBOW!!!
Nikki: The GOOD Boy is psyched up!!! He runs to the ropes! Leaps! ASAI
MOONSA-- NO!! DA BRONX BRO GOT THE KNEES UP!! Dan Hopkins to his feet!!! He's
in pain!! Standing against the ropes, Da Bro charges....THE GOOD BOY BACK
BODY DROPS HIM TO THE FLOOR!!! HOPKINS BACKS UP!!! HE RUNS........SUICIDE
DIVE THROUGH THE TOP AND MIDDLE ROPES FLATTENS DA BRONX BRO!!
GP: The GOOD Boy in firm control!!! He grabs Da Bro....IRISH WHIP INTO THE
STEEL STEPS!!! Da Bro struggles to his feet...LOW BLOW!!!!! HE ZAPS THE GOOD
BOY'S CIRCUIT WITH A LOW BLOW!!! NOW RAMS HIM INTO THE RING POST HEAD FIRST!
Da Bronx Bro will try a back suplex here....DAN FLIPS BEHIND HIM!!! HE WALKS
UP TEH APRON.........ACID DROP!!! ACID DROP!! ACID DROP ON DA BRONX BRO BY
JT: YES!!! YES!! VIOLENCE!!! GOD I HATE HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!!! VICE PRESIDENT
JOHN IS GOD!!! I NEED MY WEEKLY BLOOD FIX!!! YAHOOO!!!! DA BRONX BRO HAS A
CHAIR!! HE WHACKS DAN HOPKINS RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH IT!!! BLOOD!!! BLOOD!!!
BLOOD!!! BLOOD'S BETTER THAN SEX!!! ALMOST!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Nikki: You need help...... Da Bronx Bro will try another chair
shot.....blocked!! Hopkins got his hands up in time!! He kicks Da Bronx Bro
in the gut! Takes the chair!! CHAIRSHOT!! HE THROWS TEH CHAIR IN THE RING!!!!
BUT DAN'S NOT DONE!!! HE SETS UP DA BRONX BRO!!!! CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!!! THE
GOOD BOY ROLLS IN DA BRONX BRO!!!
GP: HE SAYS THIS THING IS OVER!!! HE SETS HIM UP IN THE CORNER!!!! OH MY
GOD!!!! IT'S THE GOOD ENDING!!!!! I'VE HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN MONTHS!! THE
GOOD ENDING ON THE CHAIR!! WILL THAT BE ENOUGH?!
DA BRONX BRO GETS THE RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! DAN HOPKINS IS IN DISBELIEF!!
JT: Da Bronx Bro is up!! Dan Hopkins complaining to the ref about an alleged
slow count....DA BRONX BRO SCHOOLBOYS HIM UP!!! HE'S GOT THE PANTS!!
1..............2............KICKOUT!!!! THE GOOD BOY ESCAPES AT 2 1/2!! Da
Bronx Bro off the ropes.....LARIAT!!! MAN, HOPKINS'S HEAD NEARLY CAME OFF!!
AND DA BRONX BRO LOCKS IN A...........TEXAS CLOVERLEAF?!
Nikki: I don't know why, but Da Bronx Bro has the Texas Cloverleaf locked on
Hopkins! Dan trying to fight it!! He's crawling desperately for the ropes...
can he get to them? DA BRONX BRO CRANKING BACK FOR ALL HE IS WORTH!!! HIS
CAREER COULD BE ON THE LINE!! A WIN IN THIS TOURNAMENT WOULD BRING HIM BACK
UP TO US TITLE STATUS!!! DAN'S ALMOST THERE.............YES!!! HE HAS THE
ROPES!! DA BRONX BRO BREAKS THE HOLD!
GP: Da Bronx Bro is livid....He scoops up Hopkins onto his
shoulder.....RUNNING POWERSLAM!!! He plants Hopkins smack dab in the middle
of the squared circle!! He jumps....STANDING LEGDROP ACROSS TEH THROAT OF THE
GOOD BOY!! Da Bronx Bro will now go up top.......HE JUMPS!!!! FROG SPLASH!!!
GREAT HANG TIME FROM DA BRONX BRO!!!!
JT: He'll cover his man after the Frog Splash!!
1...........2................NO!!!! DAN AGAIN ESCAPES IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!
Cyclone quickly is back up!!! He grabs Da Bronx Bro!! HOTSHOTS HIM ON THE TOP
ROPE!! DAN HOPKINS SETS HIM UP AGAIN!! RUNNING POWERBOMB!! INTO A PIN!!!
O!!! DA BRONX BRO ESCAPES AT 2 AND 9/10!!!
Nikki: Hopkins in control.. he Irish whips Da Bronx Bro to the corner...no,
it's reversed! Da Bronx Bro puts The GOOD Boy up top!!! He
follows.......THAT'S THE BRONXPLEX!!!!!!! THE TOP ROPE JACKHAMMER FROM DA
BRONX BRO!!!! HE MAKES THE
YES, HE GOT IT!!! DA BRONX BRO WILL MOVE ON AGAIN!!!
Match #2 of the card
Match #2 of the Major Push Tournament
Chris Davidson vs. Jax Stone
(Scene moves backstage where Stinky is waiting along with DBB)
Stinky- Hey there......I have Da Bronx Bro here.....fresh off a victory over
DBB- Yup yup... this was too easy... I can picture myself winning this
tournament Stinky B.
Stinky- Yeah but these next two guys are tough... Jax Stone and Chris
Davidson are also hungry and they want to win this tournament.
DBB- Yeah just like Hopkins was tough and hungry....it's all bullshit Stinky
B. I can kick both their asses at once.....why don't they just skip the next
match and have them both go against me.... save the ratings they'll lose on
(Dan Hopkins comes outta nowhere and bashes DBB on the head with a chair.)
Hopkins- You motherf*cker!..... thought this was over...
(Hopkins throws DBB into the chairs backstage. Grabs another chair and gives
DBB two shots to the back. He then grabs him and throws him through the doors
and into the food-court.)
Hopkins- Have some popcorn!!
(Hopkins shoves some popcorn right into his mouth.....then grabs a cup of
coffee that was just laying there and poured it on DBB's face.)
(Hopkins grabs DBB by the hair and takes him to the bathroom where he shoves
DBB's face into the toilet, flushes it and leaves.)
(Back to the announcers table.)
GP- Oh my!......Hopkins sure wanted to get the last laugh!
JT- Haha....I wonder is DBB still wants Jax and C.Davidson in a handicap
Nikki- I doubt that.....
GP- On to our next match.....which is match #2 of the "Major Push" tournament
between Chris Davidson and Jax Stone. Jax Stone hasn't been making noise like
he used to while Chris Davidson looks to be on the rise but still hasn't made
that jump yet to get passed Mid-card level.
Nikki- Yes....that is why VP-John made this tournament happen.....to get
these mid-carders to move on.
JT- They won't.....trust me. Once a mid-carder.....always a
mid-carder...these guys suck. I wouldn't be surprised if this tournament
doesn't end up with a winner.
("All-star" by Smash Mouth starts playing as we see Jax Stone making his way
out with John Smythe)
Meygon- Ladies and Gentleman....the next match is scheduled for a one-fall
and it will it Match #2 of the "Major Push" tournament!!.
Meygon- First coming to the ring , weighing in at 259 pounds!!
(Stone enters ring .......celebrates a little.)
(F*ck off by Kid Rock starts playing as Chris Davidson slowly walks down the
Meygon- And our second contestant , weighing in at 234 pounds!!....Chriisssss
(Davidson enters ring but his celebration is cut short as Jax starts beating
GP- Well Jax is sure not wasting anytime!!...
(Jax is throwing punches and kicks to the mid-section....throws him into the
ropes but Davidson clothelines Jax on the way back)
JT- Hey Rob Kestler owns a porn shop doesn't he?....
Nikki- Yeah why?.....I'm afraid to ask...
JT- Well I'm sure he could hook you up...I mean....us..
(Davidson has taken over now as he grabs Jax and hits him with a DDT followed
by two leg drops. He then grabs him on the mat and applies a chokehold.)
Nikki- I sure hope the winner of this tournament gets a titleshot sometime
soon. I don't think either one of these guys has ever seen IWO gold.
JT- Nope.....cuz they SUCK!..
GP- One of them should win a title sometime soon.
Nikki- Oh my did you see that?...
(Davidson has just missed a flying headbutt from the top rope and landed on
GP- Oh that must've hurt......oh look....what's this.....
(Psycho Jay and Rob Kestler appear at the entrance)
JT- What do they want here.......maybe they wanna spice this match up...
Nikki- I feel sorry for Jax there...
(Psycho J and Kestler slowly make their way down the ramp as the match
continues. Davidson and Jax are ex-changing punches....Jax pokes Davidson in
the eye and nails him with a DDT.)
GP- Good move by Jax...
(Jax continues on the attack as he whips Davidson into the ropes, kicks his
stomach on the way back and hits Davidson with a Powerbomb. Jay and Kestler
are now one on each side of the ring watching in. Jay is cheering Davidson
on. Jax continues with various stomps to Davidson's head followed by a
shooting star press from the top-rope. Davidson is now knocked out)
GP- Ooooh that was a close one!
JT- Come on Jay.....do something!!
Nikki- Wait a minute......did Jax just try a shooting star
press!!......WOW...for a man that size......
JT- Talented jobber....
(Jay continues to look on while banging on the mat with his hands. It looked
as if Davidson was picking up some momentum but Jax cut that out immediately
with a poke in the eye followed by another DDT....the pin.....)
GP- Oh there goes Jay!
Nikki- He's looking for a chair.....
GP- Oh Jax better watch out !!
(Jax doesn't see it so he continues the attack. Rob Kestler makes an attempt
to enter the ring and the ref rushes over and turns his back on Davidson and
Jax. Meanwhile Jax swings Davidson into the ropes and nails him with a
clothesline. He runs into the opposite ropes but is nailed by Psycho Jay!)
GP- Nailed him with a chair!!!
JT- YES!!! YES!!
Nikki- Oh Jax was doing so good!!
(Jay now enters the ring and places Davidson's arm over Jax....Kestler steps
away as the ref looks and counts.)
::ring ring ring:::
Meygon- And the winner of this contest via a pin!!.......... Chrisss!!!
(Jay and Kestler carry Davidson out of the ring but only as far as half way
into the ramp as Davidson pushes them off and walks on his own. Jay and
Kestler look at eachother confused.)
Nikki- Jax deserved this one.....he did well....
GP- Well those Usual Suspects....you know how they are...
JT- So now it's DBB v.s. Chris Davidson later on..... I wonder if DBB will be
able to handle it.......especially with Jay and Rob around...
GP- Yeah......well that's coming up later.....right now.....we gotta take a
commercial break!......be right back!....
(Back as the scene fades into the Usual Suspects locker room as Davidson is
arguing with both Kestler and Jay)
Davidson- Listen.....I didn't need anyone's fuck*n help alright!.... I think
I can take care of myself.
Jay- Yeah but Jax was kicking your ass.....and this is a big tournament for
Kestler- Yeah.......me and Jay are already doing big things here in the
IWO....we have titles and shit......and we want you to have the same...
Davidson- Whatever......just don't f*cken go out there....I can handle these
punks.....I kicked Apollo's ass two weeks ago.....I should have beaten
Michael Dudley......what made you think I was gonna lose to Jax
Jay- I don't know man.......there were some close calls...
Kestler- You know what Jay.....leave him alone......he can handle
himself.....let's go chill somewhere else.....Chris.....you don't want us
around.....you got it.....let's go!
(Jay and Kestler walk out as Davidson is shown sitting down pissed off. Scene
moves back to the arena where Nikki, JT and GP are at.)
GP- Welcome back ladies and gentlemen.....boy....it doesn't look like
Davidson was too happy about Jay and Kestler coming out.....
JT- Ungrateful bastard....he was gonna lose....
Champion vs. Champion
special guest refree Jack in the Box
Psycho Jay vs. Fugite
GP: Well, it's time for our next match, it's a Champion vs Champion match
between Psycho Jay and Fugite, Psycho Jay whom is the North American
Champion, and Fugite who is the Television Champion!! Also, it's non-title!!
Nikki: Here comes our special guest referee!! Jack In The Box..YAY!!
JT: Nikki, think you could dress up in..*whispers something in her ear*..
Nikki: NEVER IN YOUR LIFE!!
(Jack In The Box's music starts to play, he comes out wearing a referees
uniform, on the back it says: REF's SUCK!!)
(Fugite's music begins to play, he get's a mixed reaction from the crowd as
he holds his Television Belt up high!!)
("Divine" By Korn begins to play, Psycho Jay appears, raising his North
American Title as Vincent starts cursing at the fans, he also gets a mixed
GP: THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY!! Psycho Jay quickly slides into the ring and
starts to pound away on Fugite, he hits Fugite, Fugite falls back and falls
into the corner, Psycho Jay runs and attempts a Bronco Buster on Fugite but
Fugite moves, and Psycho Jay's family jewels hits hard!!
Nikki: Aww..poor Jay..I wish I was there to ease the tension..
JT: Nikki, I have some tension, could you ease it for me??
Nikki: Sure JT...
JT: Awww...c'mon, please!?!
Nikki: NO! Your a scrub, also known as a pigeon!!
GP: Alright you two!! As you could see, there is a match going on!! And look,
Psycho Jay is kicking the shit out of Fugite, he picks up Fugite, and power
slam!! He grabs Fugite and puts his head in between the ropes, Jack In The
Box turns his head and looks like he has something in his eye...
Nikki: I'll go help him get it!!
JT: No! You'll stay right here!!
GP: Psycho Jay continues to choke on Fugite, Jack In the Box turns around,
see's the choke, checks it out, and he finally starts the count...
Jack In The Box: One.........Two....hey Jay, do you know what comes after
two?? I seem to forget!!
Psycho Jay: Umm, I gotta think about it for three seconds hold on..oh yeah!!
Jack In The Box: OH YEAH!! How could I have forgotten!! Three...umm, oh well,
I'm too tired, I'm gonna take a nap, wake me up Jay when you have a pin on
Psycho Jay: Alright!!
GP: Now c'mon!! This just is not fair!! Psycho Jay has now gone outside, he
is grabbing a chair!! What the hell!?!?! Fugite is laying on the ground,
trying to get the right color back into his face!! Psycho Jay is now climbing
the top rope, he's gonna jab that chair right into the ribs on Fugite!! He
jumps..NO!! Fuigte moves and that chair shoots right back into the face of
Psycho Jay!! Jay is now busted open!! THIS IS GREAT!!! Fugite now on the
attack, he has the chair!! And he is gonna swing, but wait!! Jack In The Box
pulls the chair back!! He nails Fugite with the chair!! He starts to pound
away on Fugite, as Psycho Jay is still on the ground, Jack starts to kick
Fugite as Psycho Jay slowly makes his way to his feet, now these two are
double teaming Fugite!! Jay grabs Fugite, and drags him up to the top, as
Jack holds his head, Psycho Jay jumps off!!! NOOO!! Fugite's head just
smacked right off that mat!! Psycho Jay and Fugite just Diamond Cut Fugite
off the top rope!! This is terrible!!
Nikki: I want to talk!! I'm PMSing tonight!! RAH!!! We see Psycho Jay
continuing his anihaltion of Fugite, he grabs Fugite and whips him into the
corner, he grabs the chair and goes to splash him with it but Fugite once
again moves, Psycho Jay saw it, and starts pointing to his head, as if it was
a smart move, but Fugite superkicked Psycho Jay right in the face with the
chair in front of him!! Jay goes down, here comes Jack In The Box, Jack
swings, but Fugite ducks, and Inverted DDT on Jack In The Box!! Jack is out
cold!! He grabs Psycho Jay now, and another Inverted DDT, he is going for the
pin!! But there is no ref!! Fugite, you should take back what you did to
Jack, or else you could have pulled off a great victory!!
JT: AWW!! This sucks!! C'mon Psycho Jay, get up!! Fugite tries waking up Jack
In The Box, and we see some life in Jay, he gets up, but very wobbly..
GP: Fugite turns around and clotheslines Psycho Jay!! Now Fugite is stomping
into Psycho Jay's midsection!! Once, twice, three, four, five,six times.
Fugite picks up Jay and whips him to the ropes, and a drop kick!! Fugite
locks a ankle lock on Psycho Jay!! He breaks it after a little while and gets
back up... Fugite is dancing around the ring and Jay seems a little bit
confused.. Fugite charges at Jay and goes for a clothesline but Jay catches
the arm and drops Fugite down into an arm bar. I cansee why Jay is getting
frustrated!! Jay seems to be reversing everything!!
Nikki: Jay walks to the center of the ring and challenges Fugite to come at
him... Fugite runs at him but Jay ducks and hits with a backdrop!! Now Jay is
on top of Fugite and is pummeling him with is fists!! Jack In The Box is
slowly getting up..
JT: Go Jay!! LET'S SEE SOME BLOOD!!! And wait..yes!! Fugite is bleeding now
also!!! Jay has that small cut from earlier in the match, but is happy now
and picks up Fugite who is a little stunned from the onslaught!!
GP: Jay picks up Fugite and hits with a body slam!! He puts his foot on the
chest of Fugite and goes for the cover... Fugite smacks the foot off before
the one count was even said!! That just shows Jay's cockiness!! Fugite picks
up Jay by the hair and then throws him into the ropes... Jay puts his arm out
for a clothesline and Fugite jumps and hooks onto Jay and spins around him
and hits A TORNADO DDT!! What a move by the Generation!! He has blood that is
now coming down towards his eye, he wipes it off and then rubs it on Jay!! He
picksup Psycho Jay and does a Short Arm Clothesline followed by a snap leg
drop!!! What a move!!!
Nikki: He goes for the quick cover and hooks the
leg.1...........2............ and Jack refuses to count the three!!! Fugite
yells at the ref and Jack just laughs and starts to rub his eye, and look out
from behind!! Jay rolls up Fugite!! He caught everybody by surprise!! 1.2.and
Fugite barely kicks out with!! Fugite and Jay are back up and the both bounce
off opposite ropes!! They both go for the clothesline but Jay ducks and
Fugite misses!! Jay hits a dropkick from behind that sends Fugite stumbling
into the ropes!!! What a move!!!
GP: Jay gets up and Fugite and Fugite with a cheap shot!! Fugite lays Jay
right under the post and is going for a frog splash, but here comes Jack In
The Box!! He punches Fugite, and The Jack!! He hit The Jack on Fugite!!
Fugite falls and Jay rolls him up, the pin..1..2..3!! Psycho Jay wins!! What
a match, but wait.. PSYCHO JAY IS NOW HUMPING FUGITE'S HEAD!!!
JT - SOMEONE GET THIS FAG OUT OF THE RING!!! THIS IS SO SICK...
(Jack in the Box is now trying to get Psycho Jay off of Fugite.. NO!!! PSYCHO JAY SHOVES JACK IN THE BOX BACK!!! HE NOW STARTS HUMPING HIS HEAD!!!)
GP - Come on.. This is just gay.
JT - who's music is that??
("Forty-Six and Two" by TOOL)
GP: It's Zombie, he comes to the ring, a ZombiePlex on Fugite!! A ZombiePlex
on Psycho Jay!! He DDT's Jack In The Box to the mat, he's goin to the top
rope!! A Zombie Drop!! He whips Jack over the top and grabs a mic!!
Zombie: Now that I just cleared the ring of those three pathetic little
things, I understand that at Broken Hearts Broken Bones II, I fight Billy
Larson, and Capital Punishemnt for the right to fight Dane Wilt..now..I dunno
about all of you but..
(All of a sudden Billy Larson appears on the TIT-tron...)
Billy Larson: HEY HEY HEY!! Zombie, now I know what your gonna say, your
gonna say, Blah blah blah, I'm gonna win, blah blah blah, if I lose I quit,
blah blah blah, then your gonna walk into Broken Hearts Broken Bones II, and
get your ass kicked by none other, then ME!! Billy Larson, and I, well I will
walk into the next PPV, the IWO World Champion!!
Zombie: HAHA!! You got everything wrong..
(All of a sudden Capital Punishment and G-Dogg come running through the crowd
and nail Zombie with a Dawg Chain..)
GP: OH MY GOD!! Capital Punishment and G-Dogg just nailed Zombie with a Dawg
Chain!! Wait, here comes Billy Larson, he gets nailed with it also as he
enters the ring, they are now tying up Larson and Zombie, and are beating
them with it, they stop and start to climb out of the ring, but wait, VP John
Nikki: YAY!! It's John!! WOO HOO!!
Co-VP John: Now Larson, Billy Larson, it seems as if you wanted to come to
the rescue of your buddy Zombie, well, I thought about it, and well I decided
on this, you two just got your asses kicked by Cappy and G-Dogg, and well,
Cappy and G-Dogg, you guys have a match tonight against High Flyer and Mad
Max, and well, you, as in Larson and Zombie have been put together to fight
The Prisoners, and the team of Mad Max and High Flyer, good luck to you all!!
GP: WOW!! What an announcement!! We'll be right back!!
Finals of Major Push Tournament
Chris Davidson vs. Da Bronx Bro
GP- Welcome back ladies and gentlemen.....we're back and ready for action.
Nikki- Finals coming up!!!.....YAY!!......I can't wait to see which one of
these guys will get a push...rumors online were that the winner would fight
in some sort of title match after the PPV at Night of the Champions 2.
JT- Wow.....you go online?!?!
JT- Don't you like......look at porno sites?
GP- You just gotta say something everytime dont you....
("Whoa" by Black Rob blasts through the P.A. system as Apollo walks down the
isle while people cheer.)
JT- YAY!!.....I wonder if he brought some of that shit!!
Nikki- Eeew....I didn't like that...
(Apollo's wearing blue jeans and a Ken Griffey Jr. jersey from the Reds. He
grabs a chair and takes a seat next by the announcers table as the music
Apollo- Hey there.......how is everyone tonight?
GP- I'm alright...
Nikki- Fine thank you..
JT- I'm cool!!.....so you got any of that shit??
Apollo- Ah you know what?.....I forgot.....but I'll hook you up wit some
after the show......alright ?...
GP- So how's it going.....you looking forward to the PPV?
Apollo- Hell yeah I am.......I'm gonna come out of that shit with the Extreme
Title around my waist.....no doubt...
Nikki- Well good luck!
Apollo- Thank you.....
("F*ck off" by Kid Rock starts playing as Chris Davidson walks down the isle
and into the ring.)
Apollo- Look at this idiot....I hope DBB kicks his ass...
Nikki- I doubt it......DBB got trashed backstage earlier by Dan Hopkins...
Apollo- Hopkins? Oooh.....he's tough...
(Apollo notices that Davidson is looking at him.)
Apollo- What ?!? wanna step down here?..
(Davidson is pointing at Apollo like he's warning him)
Apollo- Ooh I'm so scared.... back the f*ck up before I tear you a new
(Davidson is about to come out but is attacked by DBB as he comes out of
GP- Well I noticed a limp......but that's about it...he looks hungry!
JT- Wow... I'm impressed!!.
Apollo- Yeah......DBB is from the hood....what did you think?...
(DBB continues the surge with several punches as Davidson is against the
corner. DBB climbs the ropes and continues to punch as the crowd counts to 10
before Davidson pushes DBB down to the mat.)
Apollo- Oooh.....tough guy!....
(Davidson picks DBB up and throws him against the ropes then hits DBB with a
clothesline. Davidson then picks him up and swings DBB into the turnbuckle.)
GP- He's going for it all!!
(Davidson starts running from the opposite turnbuckle and attempts a splash
but misses!...DBB moved then nailed a neckbreaker on Davidson.)
Apollo- See.....now that's how you do it in the hood!... always looking out..
Nikki- good move by DBB....
(DBB grabs Davidson by the hair and throws him over the ropes into the
outside. DBB then steps out , grabs Davidson and throws him into the steel
GP- Oh that hurt!...
Apollo- He should be used to that shit by now...
(DBB then attempts a suplex but is blocked, Davidson reverses the suplex and
DBB lands right on the Spanish announcers table!!!)
Apollo- Holy shit!
Nikki- Please.....there is no room here..!
Apollo- I feel sorry for those guys......every federation.....people are
always being suplexed into their freaking table..it's time for a change.
GP- What are you going to do?..
Apollo- Nothing.....but they will...
(Apollo walks over to the Spanish announcers meanwhile, DBB and Davidson are
already back in the ring. Davidson continues the domination with suplex
followed by suplex and punches and more punches. Apollo grabs a chair and
hands it to one of the Spanish announcers then he walks around the ring and
distracts the ref. DBB gains momentum and swings Davidson into the ropes
where the Spanish dude nails him with a chair.)
GP- Oh lord!!
JT- What a plan!!......you tell em' Carlos!!
(DBB takes advantage of the situation and nails Davidson with the Bronx Plex.
Apollo steps back and allows the ref to turn around and make the count.)
::ring ring ring:::
JT- DBB won!!.......DBB won!!! He got his NJD.....Not a Jobber Degree!!
Nikki- Ha ha... not funny
JT- It's funny!....
GP- Well it looks like this is over..........wait!!.....Apollo is in the ring
with a chair!!....he nails Davidson!!....
(Apollo nails Davidson with the chair on his legs about five times, then
picks him up and nails him with the Canibuster!!....tornado tombstone
piledriver!....he picks up the mic.)
Apollo- Hey guys.....come on in......I know you got some more skillz than
(The Spanish guys point to eachother confused.)
Apollo- Yeah you.....both ya'll...
(The Spanish guys enter the ring)
Apollo- Alright....show me some ill shit....
(Apollo leaves the ring and sits back down)
Apollo- COME ON!!...
(One of the Spanish guys stomps on Davidson!)
Apollo- WHAT!!.......Oh no.....I give that a 2!!
(Apollo raises a sign with the number 2)
JT- Hey this is fun..
(One of the Spanish guys looks like he's having fun. He climbs the turnbuckle
and attempts a splash.....and nails it!!)
Apollo- Holy shit.......A 10!! 10!!
GP- I give that one a 9...
JT- 9!!......come on!!...
Nikki- I say 10..
(Both spanish guys try some weird elbow drop...)
(Apollo notices Jay and Kestler running down the isle.)
Apollo- Hey guys.......good job....I gotta dip now.....peace....
(Apollo leaves through the crowd as Jay and Kestler enter the ring and start
beating on the spanish announcers!)
GP- We needed a laugh.....we'll be right back!..
Falls Count Anywhere
Mad Max & High Flyer vs. Capital Punishment & G-Dogg vs. Billy Larson & Zombie
GP: WELCOME BACK TO MONDAY NIGHT MELTDOWN!
Nikki: You’re so cute when you do that.
JT: Cough Cough WHORE Cough Cough.
GP: Anyway, now we are to the match that John had changed earlier in the
night, the Tag Team war! It’ll be the Prisoners of Society facing off
against High Flyer and Mad Max taking on the dysfunctional team of Billy
Larson and Zombie.
JT: This match will be great! You got 6 guys who won’t hesitate to make it
Meygon: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Coming to the ring
::“Forty-Six and Two” by TOOL plays as Zombie comes out to resounding
Meygon: Weighing in at...umm...a lot of pounds, he is a...umm...lots of time
IWO World Champion, he is....ZZOOOOOOOOOMMMMMBIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!
::Zombie spits at Meygon as he gets into the ring.::
Meygon: And his partner...
::“Nobody Loves Me” by Limp Bizkit plays as Billy Larson comes out with
Summer. He sees Zombie in the ring, and sends Summer to the back.::
Meygon: Weighing it at...umm...not as many pounds as Zombie...he is a former
IWO World Champion, he is....“WIIIIILLLDD MAAAAAAANN” BIIIIIIIIIILLLLYYYYY
::Larson slides into the ring. Meygon steps back as Zombie and Larson get
in each other’s face.::
GP: Well it doesn’t look like either one of them look too happy about having
to tag together.
JT: You have to remember Greg, it doesn’t really matter if they are tagging
or not, because this match surely won’t stay in the ring for long. They
will both just be out there for themselves, trying to get the edge for
Broken Hearts, Broken Bones II.
::Stunned look on Nikki’s face.::
Nikki: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said all night.
JT: Shut up slut!
GP: Larson and Zombie are jawing away at each other. OH! ZOMBIE JUST
DECKED LARSON! LARSON PUNCHES BACK!
JT: THIS IS WRESTLING, NOT BOXING DAMNIT!
GP: Larson sends Zombie into the ropes and goes for a clothesline! Zombie
ducks, and hits Larson with a German Suplex!
::“No Leaf Clover” by Metallica starts to play.::
GP: Here comes the Prisoners of Society! G-Dogg and Capital Punishment come
running down as Meygon runs for cover! They slide in, and G-Dogg goes after
Zombie as Cappy battles Larson!
JT: This is gonna get real bloody real quickly!
Nikki: It better not. I don’t want to have to throw up.
GP: Zombie throws G-Dogg into the ropes now, G-Dogg ducks the clothesline!
JT: Follow the pattern. Now comes the German Suplex.
GP: NO! ZOMBIE TURNS AROUND AND G-DOGG LAYS HIM OUT WITH A SUPERKICK!
Nikki: Hehe, Zombie sure is no stranger to Superkicks.
GP: No kidding! Remember back to Beach Party when Joey Rappaport cost
Zombie his World Title by using that same move!
JT: It was not the same move you idiot! G-Dogg used a Superkick, Joey used
a Kamikaze Kick.
Nikki: Same thing.
GP: Cappy is choking Larson on the ropes! Larson gets free and goes after
Zombie again! Larson shoves G-Dogg out of the way and starts pounding on
::Co-VP John is seen on the stage, looking very pissed.::
Co-VP John - If you two can't get along... You will BOTH be forced out of
the match at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones!!!
::Co-VP John leaves laughing.::
JT: Oooh, I’m scared!
GP: IWO Co-Vice President John Maples, layin’ down the law there! Obviously
they heard him loud and clear as Larson picks Zombie up off the mat, and
slaps him on the back!
::“The Frayed Ends of Sanity” by Metallica plays as Mad Max runs down the
ramp. It is quickly replaced by “Biggest and the Best” by Clawfinger. High
Flyer runs down to the ring and tosses his Pacific Title towards the
JT: I don’t want it!
::JT throws the Pacific Title back at Flyer, knocking him cold in the corner
of the ring.::
Nikki: What was that for?
JT: PAY ATTENTION! I said I didn’t want it, so I was giving it back.
**Ding Ding Ding**
GP: Well this match is officially underway, and we start out with all six
men in the ring! The ref is going to let this go!
JT: Actually, only five people are fighting. Flyer hasn’t gotten back up
Nikki: *sarcastically* Good job, JT.
GP: G-Dogg is fighting with Zombie, Cappy and Larson are fighting, and Max
is pointing and laughing at High Flyer! The ref tells Max to get fighting,
so he levels the ref!
Nikki: Umm...wrong person.
JT: No duh!
GP: Max now goes over and dropkicks Zombie! G-Dogg shrugs his shoulders and
walks over to the opposite corner from Flyer.
JT: YES! YES!
GP: BRONCO BUSTER! It’s been a while since G-Dogg has done a Bronco Buster
in a match! That brought Flyer back to life, and he’s up and fighting with
G-Dogg. This could possibly be the scene on Meltdown AFTER BHBB2, when
G-Dogg could very well be fighting High Flyer for the Pacific Title!
Nikki: Don’t forget the match between Cappy, Zombie, and Larson!
GP: How could I? The winner of that match will face the World Champion at
Nikki: JT YOU ARE SO RUDE!
JT: Haha, I’m immune to it now! You can’t hurt me anymore!
::Nikki kicks JT in the groin.::
JT: *in a high voice* That...was a good one.
::JT falls out of his chair, in immense pain.::
GP: Zombie has Max hurting now! He tosses the smaller Max over the top
ropes, and Max hits his head on the guardrail! A trickle of blood now
running down Max’s forehead and Zombie follows him outside to continue his
attack! Inside, G-Dogg throws Flyer into the ropes...he telegraphs the Back
Body Drop and Flyer takes him down with a Rocker Dropper! Larson brings a
chair into the ring now.
GP: RIGHT OVER THE HEAD OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!!
Nikki: That’s not being very sportsman-like.
::We wait for JT to say something about that, but he is passed out on the
floor next to his chair.::
GP: Anyway, G-Dogg is back up in the ring and he starts punching Flyer. He
scoop slams him, and is on his way up top. Outside, Zombie takes Max and
throws him into the ringpost.
::Large round of boos for Zombie.::
GP: Max is really starting to bleed now, but Zombie continues the
onlslaught. He picks Max back up, and THERE’S THE ZOMBIEPLEX! THE
GP: G-Dogg comes flying off the top rope at Zombie instead and lands an
Elbow Drop to the back of his head right before the three!
Nikki: Whoa! Look at Cappy go!
GP: You’re right! Cappy is back up from that chairshot and is dismantling
Billy Larson! Lefts, rights, and he throws him into the ropes. He kicks
him in the gut, and delivers a piledriver onto the chair Larson used
earlier! He picks Larson back up, and sets him up for the Death Penalty!
Nikki: If he can hit this next Sunday, he’ll be the #1 Contender for Dane’s
GP: Wow...you’ve actually been paying attention.
::Nikki giggles in appreciation.::
GP: The tag team of Mad Max and High Flyer hasn’t fared too well so far
tonight. Max is out back there behind G-Dogg and Zombie, and Flyer is layed
out over by the turnbuckle. Zombie and Billy Larson are only doing decent
due to the fact that John is forcing them to team up. If you think about
it, the Prisoners of Society are the only formed tag team in this match.
Nikki: That could explain why they are doing so well.
GP: Well you know they have to still be pissed off about what happened on
Hostile Takeover. It was down to the Prisoners against one of the Prep
Kids...they were all set to win the World Tag Titles when the eliminated
parties blew up Dane’s mansion.
Nikki: That was very mean of them. They need to learn the values of fair
::JT climbs back up into his chair.::
JT: Geez. Have you been giving Chairman Dane head again?
::She kicks him in the groin again and just like before he passes out and
falls out of his chair.::
Nikki: Some people...
GP: Zombie getting the upper hand now on G-Dogg, he whips him into the
guardrail. He follows it up by choking the Rookie of the Year with his
boot. He breaks the hold and walks over to the ring. He pulls a table out
from underneath the ring, and sets it up. He takes G-Dogg over to
it...POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! He pins him!
GP: G-Dogg somehow got the shoulder up!
Nikki: He must be good.
GP: He has to be good for Capital Punishment to team up with him. Speaking
of the Punishing One, he has hit the Death Penalty on Billy Larson and goes
for the pin!
GP: High Flyer breaks up the count! Cappy back up on his feet and gives the
Death Penalty to High Flyer! Larson is up and Cappy turns
around.....ARMAGEDDON!! LARSON HAS THE ARMAGEDDON LOCKED ONTO CAPITAL
PUNISHMENT! AND CAPPY HAS A HAND ON THE ROPES! HE HAS A HAND ON THE ROPES!
Nikki: LARSON WON’T BREAK THE HOLD!
GP: The ref is telling Larson to let go or else he will disqualify him!
Larson tells him that there is no DQ! G-Dogg escapes Zombie and slides in
to break it up. Zombie follows behind him and clubs him in the back of the
head with a 2x4!! G-Dogg falls down onto Larson, breaking the hold!
Nikki: This is pure chaos! G-Dogg is out! High Flyer is out! Mad Max is
out! Capital Punishment is almost out! Larson is hurting as well!
GP: Zombie certainly has the advantage here! He picks Cappy up off the mat.
Nikki: His face is blue from being choked out by the Wild Man.
GP: Why can’t you always do competent announcing like this?
Nikki: I’m usually too busy beating up JT.
::She kicks the unconscious JT in the head.::
GP: Makes sense to me. Larson is getting back up to his feet, and he goes
over to Zombie and Cappy. Flyer grabs his boot, but Larson kicks him in the
head with it. He steps over the bleeding G-Dogg, and he makes eye contact
with Zombie. He goes outside and slides a table in, and Zombie sets it up.
He picks Cappy up and places him on his shoulders.
Nikki: They’re going for the Doomsday Device!
GP: Larson climbs up to the top rope...and G-Dogg falls on the ropes!
Larson is racked up on the top rope! Cappy squirms free from Zombie’s grasp
and they both go over the top rope with the clothesline! G-Dogg climbs up
to the top rope with Larson...DOGGINATOR FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE
Nikki: Just like he did at Conspiracy Theory!
GP: BILLY LARSON MAY VERY WELL BE IN A COMA! G-DOGG ROLLS OVER AND PINS
GP: Flyer staggers over to break it up but Cappy slides in...DEATH PENALTY
ON THE PACIFIC CHAMP!
Meygon: *from outside the ring* YOUR WINNERS......CAPITAL PUNISHMENT AND
G-DOGG.......THE PRISONERS OF SOCIETY!!!!!
GP: WHAT A MATCH!! Now Capital Punishment picks up High Flyer in an
Crucifix Slam (Outsiders Edge).....G-Dogg mounts the ropes.....THE POINT OF
NO RETURN! They roll Flyer out of the ring, he falls to the cement next to
::“No Leaf Clover” starts to play again.::
GP: Their music is playing, but they’re not leaving yet! Capital Punishment
picks up Billy Larson and sets him up for an Electric Chair Drop! G-Dogg
off the top again in a flipping Diamond Cutter! THE EDGE OF ETERNITY!
Nikki: As if Larson wasn’t hurtin’ before!
GP: Zombie slides back in and nails G-Dogg with the ZombiePlex! Cappy runs
over and starts stomping on him, and Zombie pulls out his legs from
underneath him! G-Dogg is making his way towards the back!
Nikki: He knows that Cappy has everything taken care of.
GP: Larson is trying to get to his feet but Zombie shoves him back down!
Capital Punishment and Zombie are brawling here! Somebody get the security!
Flyer and Max need medical attention, and Billy Larson may very well need
some as well!
JT: *groggily* Did I miss anything?
Nikki: Only a horribly bloody match.
GP: Larson is up, but he’s hanging on to the ropes. Cappy and Zombie are
still trading punches as the IWO Medical Staff tends to High Flyer and Mad
Max! We have to cut to commercial, and when we come back hopefully the ring
will be cleared so we can witness Dane putting his World Title on the line
against world-renowned superstar Mike Omode.
Nikki: Don’t touch that dial!
JT: God damn when you say that you seem so easy it’s not even funny! You
make Heidi Fleice look hard to get.
::Cut to commerical break as Nikki continues to go haywire on JT.::
IWO World Title Match
Dane Wilt -c- vs. IWO Power Plant Standout "Flush" Mike Omode
IWO World Title Match
Dane Wilt -c- vs. IWO Power Plant Standout "Flush"
GP: Now it's time for our main event, folks. I'm not
too sure about this match... it looks like it may be a
joke. Dane Wilt is a top competitor here in the IWO,
and he's being pitted against a man who... well, he's
from the power plant.
JT:(sing song)DANE'S GOING TO KILL HIM, DANE'S GOING
TO KILL HIM!
Nikki: Sigh.. as much as I hate to say this, JT is
GP: Let's go to ringside now and get this match
Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is
scheduled for ONE fall and is for the IWO WORLD
HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP... INTRODUCING FIRST.. FROM
LIMA, OHIO.. WEIGHING IN AT 245 POUNDS... THE MASTER
OF THE PLUNGER DIVE..... HE IS "FLUSH" MIKE OMODE!
::Mike Omode comes out to boos. He walks towards the
ring and gets in. The lights go dim in the arena and
"Alright (Oh Yeah)" by Local H starts to play::
Meygon: HIS OPPONENT.... FROM HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA...
WEIGHING IN AT 230 POUNDS.... HE IS THE SUPER HEEL OF
THE IWO... THE MASTER OF BOTH THE FACE LIFT AND THE
BOX OFFICE SMASH... "GENETIC PERFECTION" DANE WILT!
:Dane Wilt comes out. The crowd hates him. Dane gets
in the ring and laughs at Flush Mike Omode.::
GP: Alright fans, there's the bell! Flush comes racing
across the ring with a clothesline attempt.. reversed
into a painkiller by Dane Wilt. Omode howls in agony
and struggles towards the ropes. Dane relinquishes his
hold and gets up, delivering a kick to the face of
Omode, who is rocked by the impact.
JT: This is real slobberknocker all right. HA!
GP: Wilt picks Omode up... DDT! Mike Omode looks like
he wants to run to momma about now, JT.
Nikki: Too bad.. he was cute, too.
JT: *cough* SLUT *cough*
GP: Omode crawls towards the ropes, he's had enough.
Dane grabs him by the back of the hair and peppers his
face with slaps! What disrespect shown here by the
world champion! Now Dane grabs Omode and goes for a
vertical suplex.. OMODE BLOCKS! HE REVERSES IT INTO
THE PLUNGER DIVE! (vertical suplex) Dane gets to his
feet, the move seems to have had no effect! Omode
hauls off and lays a massive right hand on the world
champ! Dane staggers backwards, he appears dazed...
has Omode started to take the advantage?
JT: I doubt it. Dane's toying with him.
GP: Dane turns around and shakes his finger at
Omode.... FACE LIFT! FACE LIFT! FACE LIFT ON OMODE!!!
IT'S OVER! MIKE OMODE JUST LOST TWO TEETH! HE'S
GP: THE COVER! 1.....2......3!! Dane Wilt has defended
the title successfully and now he's heading to the
back. Mike Omode still hasn't moved, it looks like
he's going to be out for a while. Hey, what the hell
is going on?
::"One Man Army" by Our Lady Peace begins to play. The
crowd breaks into a mixed reaction of cheers and boos
as The Prep Kids walk out, minus their tag team
titles. McCloud and Howitt get in the ring, with
Howitt taking the microphone.::
Jordan Howitt: Alright Prime Timers.. You've got our
belts and we want them back, now. You've got five
seconds to get your lily asses out her and face us, or
we're coming back there to fuck you up.
::Randal holds up his hand, counting down from five.
No sign of the pTs. Then, "Scotts a Dork" by Reel Big
Fish starts to play, just as The Prep Kids are halfway
up the ramp. The Prime Time Soldiers run out.::
GP: We've got a brawl going on fans! Randal McCloud
and Tyler Johnson! Jordan Howitt and Scott Stone! This
is crazy fans!!
(The Prisoners of Society come running out next and join in on the brawl.)
JT - They are brawling all over the place... Can you imagine what it will be like at the Pay Per View!!!
("Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)" by The Offspring starts as the BHB make their
way to the ring with Caren next to them. The fans boo them a lot and give
them A TON of heat. We do hear the average perverts in the crowd asking Caren
to strip for them of give them a lap dance. What is the World coming to?
Caren just smiles and blows a kiss to the crowd. The perves all then stand up
and cheer. THAT is the closest they will ever get to getting a date. The BHB
then gets in the ring with Caren.)
Brian: Well guys, you all saw what happened last week on Hostile Takeover.
You're Favorite Team was screwed out of the IC tag titles.
(The fans pop as the BHB is titleless.)
Brian: Well, you don't need to worry, because we are without a doubt going to
at least have those IC tag titles back. If not, then the WORLD'S tag titles.
(The fans boo.)
Michael: Uh, now we're not Brian.
Michael: I said, we're not.
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?
Michael: Nothing. Just, this.
(Caren low blows her husband, Brian. Brian falls to the ground in pain.)
Michael: Yeah, Brian. We're not going after anymore tag titles. You know why?
I'M SICK OF YOU HOLDING ME BACK! I'm getting North American title shots like
I deserve, but you are ALWAYS holding me back in my matches! NO MORE! Caren,
give me the chair!
(Caren goes out side the ring. She bends over and grabs a chair. The perverts
cheer at her bending over. She then climbs back in the ring and gives the
chair to Michael.)
Michael: THIS is what I think of you!
(Michael puts Brian's knee in the chair. He then STOMPS the chair hard! Brian
yells out in pain.)
Michael: That's six weeks right there!
(Michael STOMPS the chair again. Brian yells again.)
Michael: That's a year.
(Michael STOMPS the chair again. Brian passes out. Michael does the same
thing five more times.)
Michael: There Brian! THAT'S IT FOR YOU! NO MORE WRESTLING! YOU'RE FINISHED!
I'M THE MAIN GUY NOW! In and out of the ring.
(Michael and Caren then kiss passionately.)
Michael: Yeah Brian. THAT'S RIGHT! Caren only wants me now!
Caren: That's right Brian. You were fun for the first few weeks of our
marriage, but you're just boring now. I'm having much more fun with Michael.
After all, he is BIGGER and has a lot more experience than you do.
Michael: Well, now you know the truth Brian. Caren's only f*cking me now.
Now, get out of the ring. The ring you'll never grace again!
(Michael pulls up Michael. He then throws him out of the ring. Brian hits his
knee on the retaining barrier as he falls out. Some EMTs come out and
stretcher Brian out of the arena.)
Michael: Well fans, the BHB is dead and gone. NOW, you get to cheer Michael
Dudley! THE GREATEST WRESTLER EVER!
(The fans are giving Michael and Caren a ton of heat.)
Michael: That's the sound I like to hear! Cheering from the fans! Now, let's
talk about something that should be mine. The North American title. EVERYONE
knows I should have beaten Psycho Jay two weeks ago. Everyone saw me beat Rob
Kestler last week and everyone saw me beat Chris Davidson on Friday. So, here
we go for my match come March 6 MNM, the Night of Two Champions. Hey, who
came up with that name?
Caren: Beats me.
Michael: Okay. Well, here's is how it will work. A Campfire Porn Shop
Pitfight against ALL of the Usual Suspects Gauntlet Match! The only way to
win is cover your opponent in a pornographic material, make a sandwhich out
of him, put some marchmellows on him, light him on fire, and make him into a
smore. Michael Dudley going against the Usual Suspects!
(The fans pop.)
Michael: Here are the stipulations.It'll start with Chris Davidson, followed
by Rob Kestler, and finishing off with Psycho Jay. Now, there will also be
some other new rules added. Every time I beat a member of the Usual Suspects,
something BAD happens to the Usual Suspects. Here they are. When I beat Chris
Davidson, he loses the right to EVER AGAIN call or insinuate IN ANY WAY that
someone is gay. If he does EVER AGAIN IN THE IWO, he is automatically FIRED.
No second chances. FIRED! Next. When I beat Rob Kestler, a few bad things
happen to him. First off, Vagrond, his pet giant lizard, is shot dead,
burned, and then sent on a space shuttle into some black hole. After that,
THERE MAY BE NO MORE GIANT LIZARD CREATURES OR WEIRD THINGS LIKE THAT OF ANY
KIND IN ANY USUAL SUSPECT INTERVIEW! EVER! If it does happen, the person
whose interview it was is FIRED! No second chances. One more thing for
Kestler. When I win, he is STRIPPED of the US title, and the board will
choose two people to fight to win the vacated title. After the win though,
Rob Kestler may not get a title shot of any kind for thirty days. That just
leaves Jay. The easiest stipulations of all. When I beat Psycho Jay, I become
the North American champion. Oh, and another special thing. If, for some
reason, I lose one match during the gauntlet, the match CONTINUES! In other
words, if Rob Kestler cheats somehow and beats me, I still get my shot at
Psycho Jay. Oh, and if I lose, bully for the Usual Suspects.
(The fans boo.)
Michael: Well, on that note, Caren and I are going backstage to, uh, discuss
strategy. I'll see all of you next time! When I get to win the North American
title that is rightfully mine!
("Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)" starts as Caren and Michael make their way
out of the ring. The fans throw things at them as they walk away. The scene
(All the wrestlers are in the ring... "Suffocate" by Finger Eleven begins to play. CO-VP John makes his way out. He stands at the entrance way. He has a microphone.)
Co-VP John - Why is everyone out here? That is simple... You all suck. First of all.. MNM is going to change. This is MY show and I'm going to do things MY way. First off... The announce team... Greg Parker... Together you and I started the NWF. While I was busy dealing with FWL business, you were at the head of the NWF. You did a good job. You have Hostile Takeover... So next week.. You aren't an announcer for MY show anymore. Oh... Nothing personal.. I just think it is time for a change... JT... You are the most popular announcer in IWO history as voted by all the fans... Well guess what... Having to listen to your comments two times a week makes me sick... You have Hostile Takeover. You are out of a job on Monday Nights... Nikki... The lovely Nikki.. Beautiful Nikki... Sorry babe... The guys want a fresh face and lets face it... Your knockers aren't big enough to cut it. See you next week when you become MY PERSONAL INTERN... So that means we have NO announce team next week!!! THATS OK!!! Because I have three people in mind that will start NEXT WEEK after Broken Hearts, Broken Bones... And those three people are... MEYGON... MYSELF... And Scott Russell... Scott is a former champion in other feds and a personal friend of mine. So thats your new announce team.. And the new ring announcer since Meygon is leaving to call the action.. IS... NONE OTHER... THAN... Caren Dudley!!!
(The crowd is in shock. Michael Dudley looks pissed in the ring.)
Co-VP John - And don't worry fans... She will be in a bikini throughout the entire show...
(The men in the crowd cheer. Michael Dudley is getting more angry.)
Co-VP John - Hey big MIKE... You say one word about this and I'll throw your ass out of the IWO so fast you won't know what hit you.
(Dudley has a shocked looked on his face.)
Co-VP John - Ok.. The announce team is out of the way.. NEXT.. MNM.. NEXT WEEK.. After the PPV... Since you people have no desire to fight unless it is for some gold, maybe this will change your tune. After the Pay Per View the entire card will be... ANNOUNCED AT THE OPENING OF THE SHOW!!! That's right... NONE of you will know who you will be facing next week. It will be a great big surprise!!! So I really hope you enjoy fucking up like you have been... Because I'm gonna have my fun... Oh and if you don't show up next week... You'll be fired from the IWO.
(Billy Larson is laughing in the ring.)
Co-VP John - Oh look.. The class clown is joking it up.. Thinking I'm lying... That's fine... EVERYONE in the ring attack Larson NOW or you're fired.. DO IT!!!
(They all look at John.)
Co-VP John - DO IT DAMN IT!!!
(The entire ring turns to Larson and they start beating him. He drops to the mat and everyone starts kicking him. They continue to kick away at Larson.)
Co-VP John - WHY DONT YOU JOKE NOW FUNNY MAN!??!?! YEAH... GET A BIG LAUGH!!! PSYCHO JAY... HUMP HIS HEAD!!!
(Psycho Jay goes over and starts humping Larson's head. Everyone is now laughing.)
Co-VP John - JOKES ON YOU!!!
(John looks over at Zombie standing in the corner.)
Co-VP John - Look at this.. Zoom on... The big cry baby!!! The great 10 second interviewer!!! Hey Zombie.. You want a title shot???
Co-VP John - FUCK YOU.. ATTACK HIM NOW!!!
(Everyone gangs up on Zombie now... He tries to put up a fight... But there are too many people against him. He goes down...)
Co-VP John - Look at you people... You all make me sick.. Follow blindly. Do whatever the head man says so that you get your chance... You know what. The IML is better than you guys. The IML2 is just as good as you guys. I don't know about the IML3, but maybe it is time you all realize where you are at. You know what... That gives me a good idea... Next week on MNM... EVERY MATCH WILL BE A LOSER LEAVES THE IWO MATCH!!! Sounds good to me!!! We will have ALL of you in a match and if you lose you are fired from the IWO!!! HOW DOES THAT SOUND!??!! SOUNDS REALLY GOOD TO ME!!! Now this can all change if you get your acts together.... But I doubt you will....
(Everyone is in shock.)
Co-VP John - Chairman Dane.. I know you are in the back. I would like for you to come out here now if you don't mind...
(Chairman Dane makes his way out. Jake Maples is by his side. They are both wearing F.U.C.K t-shirts.)
Co-VP John - Isn't this just cute? You know what is even more cute???
(The lights in the arena go out... The Tit-RON starts flashing in blood red.. All of a sudden the lights come back on.. We see 10 big men... They are wearing t-shirts with letters on them... They spell out F.U.C.K.I.N. S.H.I.T.)
Co-VP John - I give to you the Fearless United Corporation Kingdom Including Norway Silence Here Idiots Tonight!!! ATTACK!!!
(F.U.C.K.I.N. S.H.I.T. attacks Dane and Jake Maples!!! They send them down to the stage... F pulls Dane up and throws him off the stage through a table!!! S pulls Jake Maples up and tosses him on Dane.)
Co-VP John - FUCK THAT...
(Everyone is still in shock.)
Co-VP John - The IWO has entered a new era... MY ERA... It begins next week. Enjoy... You mother fuckers...
(John drops the microphone and goes to the back... The scene fades.)
"Hope you’re hungry! ‘Cause I got a Knuckle Sandwich... WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"
- Lunchbox Larry