::The scene opens and you see Chairman Dane sitting in the board room
over some papers. He has a F.U.C.K shirt on and is looking over the
roll. You see him Xing out zeros behind wrestlers names right and
Suddenly their is a knock on the door.::
C.Dane:Come in please....
::Suddenly a man who looks just like VP John walks in. Only difference
has on a F.U.C.K and a pair of tight leather pants. He has his hands
hips as he walks up to Dane's desk.::
John look alike:Hello Daney!
John look alike:No no no silly...ith me! Johnth's brother Jake Maples!
Jake:Hellooooooo! Ith their and echo in here?
C.Dane:Oh uhhh sorry what can I do ya for?
Jake:Well Daney I'm here to tell you that I wanna F.U.C.K the ENTIRE
Yesth Daney I want to help you F.U.C.K every lasth stud on the IWO
C.Dane:Really? Wow your not at all like John...your
Jake:Oh Johnth's just a big ol' teddy bear onceth you get to know him!
C.Dane:Oh hehe...so you wanna join F.U.C.K huh?
Jake:Oh trusth me I can F.U.C.K. harder and better then anyone else in
C.Dane:Alright then Jake...welcome to F.U.C.K!
Jake:YAH! Now first and foremost...Johnathan...I'm tired of seeing you
your Monday night show with all your ultra violence and all your women
disgrace themselves on TV. John you better start F.U.C.King or I'm
::Scene cuts to GP, JT, and SBW.::
GP:Ummmm...it appears that Jake Maples brother of John Maples has
JT:Ewwwwww he's a faggot!
SBW:HEY! YOU BETTER NOT SAY THAT! I'm sure him and Dane will be
lot's of time together.
SBW:What so funny?
JT:Ahahaha...nothing...hehe Dane's a faggot! AHAHAHAHAHA!
GP:Well uhhhh...it would appear that Jake will be hanging around the
alittle more now. ANYWAYS! Tonight fans Phelen Kell will run an
unfair gauntlet! Against Brother Al, G-Dogg, Chrome Thunder, Apollo,
Bronx Bro. And if he loses he will NEVER be IWO world champ again!
JT:I think that to be a very fair deal...I mean Kell was not that great
champion...I think Chairman Dane had a good idea for once!
SBW:Well it is Chairman Dane...and he is a genious! So of COURSE this
GP:I can't believe you two! Phelen Kell is one of the true greats in
sport today! How could you even think such a thing!
JT:Because I think Kell is a bit of a flamer!
GP:OY! We also have Ken War takeing on Ashton Cain in a Beach Brawl!
JT:Now THAT should be great...two of the TRUE hardcore greats in our
today! Ashton was the ONLY man who was able to defeat TRO when he held
belt. I am hopeing for blood, guts, and GORE!
GP:Well that's great....I was out on the beach alittle earlier
must say it is rather rocky...their are a few HUGE cliffs...I'd hate to
down one of them.
SBW:I don't see how this match was signed...Chairman Dane must of had a
fart or something when he signed this one...it is gonna be sinister!
GP:We also have the Pacific Title and the Intercontinental Tag Team
the line. This is gonna be great night to be here in Richmond,
Virginia...folks we'll be right back!
Tag Team Action
Rob Kestler and Chris Davidson vs. The Foreign Legion
Yes Brother Al will be pulling double duty on Hostile Takeover! Will FL
able to defeat this younger tag team...or will their be an upset with
Usual Suspect members takeing out the former I/C tag champs the Foreign
GP: Welcome folks to HOSTILE TAKEOVER! We've got an action packed
Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks: Yes we do! And you can be sure that Chairman
will be F.U.C.K.ing everyone tonight!
JT: That's still the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks: You're just bitter because you're not down
JT: I'm gonna be down with kicking you in the face if you don't watch
GP: OK guys settle down. We've got some great matches coming up
huge main event which will pit Phelen Kell in the fight of his life
other IWO superstars.
JT: Superstars? All the guys he's fighting SUCK. Brother Al, G-Dogg,
Apollo? Even Da Bronx Bro? You call them superstars?
GP: Well, all of them except for Da Bronx Bro.
Stinky: Greg, how can you badmouth a wrestler like that? I thought
loved the IWO and everything about it?
GP: I do, but Da Bronx Bro should not be in the IWO.
JT: And neither should Slutty B. Dickincheeks.
Stinky: That's STINKY B. WIZZLECHEEKS. Now watch yourself or I'll
you haven't been F.U.C.K.ing.
JT: Whatever, loser.
GP: Ok our first match of the evening is a tag match between the
Legion and two members of the Usual Suspects.
JT: Definitely the Usual Suspects.
Stinky: No, The Foreign Legion are very talented and they are former
champions. They nearly won the IWO World Tag Team Titles this past
JT: Big fucking deal. It was a threeway match, anybody has a chance
winning if the other two teams do all the work.
GP: Either way, both of these teams have a lot of talent. Brother Al
Crazy Canuck have been together for years and Chris Davidson and Rob
have also been together for quite a while.
Stinky: Yes, but Davidson and Kestler haven't teamed together while
known one another.
JT: That doesn't matter jackass. Once you know your partner well,
fine. Foreign Legion are washed up. The Usual Suspects are the future
the IWO. Do the math.
Stinky: You need to F.U.C.K. more JT.
JT: Shut your mouth.
GP: Well let's head to the ring. It'll be Foriegn Legion taking on
United States Champion Rob Kestler and Chris Davidson!!!
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Hostile Takeover!!!
first contest of the evening is a tag team bout scheduled for one
Introducing first, at a combined weight of 502 pounds.........here are,
Brother Al and Crazy Canuck..........THE FOREIGN LEGION!!!!!!!!
("Fire Water Burn(The Roof is on Fire)" by The Bloodhound Gang blasts
Crazy Canuck and Brother Al make their way to the ring.)
Stinky: There are your winners, right there.
JT: They ain't gonna win anything. Davidson and Kestler are gonna
Ring Announcer: And their opponents, representing the Usual Suspects,
combined weight of 549 pounds, here are, The IWO United States Champion
KESTLER and "The AWF World Champion" CHRIS DAVIDSON!!!
("Freak on a Leash" by Korn blasts as Chris Davidson and Rob Kestler
onto the ramp. They walk about half way down the ramp, then stop and
at the entrance way. The song switches to "Divine" by Korn as Psycho
makes his way out along with two midgets dressed up as the Foreign
Jay holds up his North American Title, then straps it around his waist
smiles, he has a microphone.)
Psycho Jay: Now I'm very confused. I thought I was gonna be walking
with the REAL Foreign Legion, but I come out here and there are two
in the ring!
(The crowd boos Jay's obvious false statements. The Foreign Legion in
ring grow impatient.)
Psycho Jay: Now, just to prove that standing beside me are the real
will ask them a simple question. Brother Al, are you the real Brother
Midget Brither Al: Aye.
Psycho Jay: Aha! See I told you! Now, Crazy Canuck, are you indeed
and only Crazy Canuck?
Midget Crazy Canuck: Aye.
Psycho Jay: You see, so those screw-ups in the ring, who couldn't even
the Prime Time Soldiers or the Prep Kids, are nothing but a sham! I
you're not the real Foreign Legion because if you were then you would
better then to assume that the Usual Suspects are something to joke
about. When you talk about the Wrecking Crew, you're talking about us!
IWO North American Champ, the IWO US Champ, and the AWF World Champion.
in the future, watch your mouths. Oh....you're not gonna win this
(With that Davidson and Kestler hit the ring.)
GP: We're underway! Davidson and Kestler are cut off immediately by
Foreign Legion! Canuck and Al are stomping the hell outta Kestler and
JT: Check it out, Psycho Jay's on his way over here! With the two
dressed like the Foriegn Legion!
Stinky: Oh great, that's all we need. They won't be F.U.C.K.ing at
GP: CrazyCanuck and Brother Al each just clotheslined the Usual
of the ring!
(Psycho Jay takes a seat at the announcer's table, while the midget
Canuck sits down at the Canadian announcer's table and Brother Al sits
English announcer's table.)
Psycho Jay: Hello there JT and Parker.
JT: Hey Jay how's it going?
Psycho Jay: Not bad, not bad at all.
Stinky: Hey what about me?
Psycho Jay: Oh, how ya doing Slacky B. Wimpycheeks.
Stinky: That's Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks!
Psycho Jay: Oh yeah, right.
GP: Well Jay it looks like your two boys Davidson and Kestler are
get into the ring.
Psycho Jay: Shut your friggin mouth Parker you fat fuck. They're
JT: Yeah Parker, watch what your saying.
GP: Well now Chris Davidson is getting into the ring. Crazy Canuck
starts things off for the Legion. They lock up. Canuck whips Davidson
the ropes and dorpkicks him! Davidson gets back up, hiptoss by Canuck!
Davidson back to his feet again! Canuck Armdrags him! Davidson's
tossed around like a rag doll in there!
Psycho Jay: Parker, what the hell did I tell you? He ain't getting
Stinky: Well it looks like he just got arm...thingied, and hip thrown
Psycho Jay: Slappy, you don't know a fucking powerbomb from a goddamn
H-Bomb, keep your mouth shut.
JT: H-Bomb? Isn't that what Brian Dudley called himself?
Psycho Jay: Yeah, back when I made him my bitch in the AWF.
GP: Now Crazy Canuck is stomping Davidson in the corner. Canuck backs
it looks like he's going for a Bronco Buster! Crazy Canuck runs in!
Davidson sprung out of the corner at the last second and speared
JT: Damn, Canuck's boot almost fell off!
Psycho Jay: No shit, and this fat bitch Parker thought Davidson was in
Stinky: Look, Davidson's going for one of those things! When you put
opponents head under your arm, grab their tights and flip them over!
GP: Stinky, that's a suplex.
Psycho Jay: God your an idiot.
Stinky: Hey! I'm still learning!
JT: Sluggy, that's the most basic move, if you don't know that then
Stinky: I am not.
Psycho Jay: You know what, Stumpy, you're not allowed to commentate
rest of the time I'm out here, so keep your mouth shut.
Stinky: But I...
(Psycho Jay slaps Stinky across the face and then gets up and begins
HIS HEAD! PSYCHO JAY HUMPED STINKY B. WIZZLECHEEKS HEAD!)
Psycho Jay: I warned you. Now be quiet.
GP: Davidson now has Canuck up. He scoops him up and drops him across
knee with a backbreaker! Davidson bounces off the ropes, but hops over
Canuck and blasts Brother Al with a flying forearm! Al flies off the
and hits the guardrail. Davidson turns around and is leveled with a
side kick from Canuck!
Psycho Jay: Cheap shot.
GP: Maybe from Davidson to Brother Al, but not Canuck to Davidson.
Psycho Jay: Parker, shut the fuck up with your little retaliations,
gives a rat's petute what you have to say so just call the damn match
I strip you of your right to speak too.
GP: Canuck picks Davidson up and sends him to the ropes, Canuck with a
back body drop! He goes to make the tag, but Brother Al is still on
outside shaking out the cobwebs! Davidson makes the tag to Kestler!
comes the US champ! Kestler clotheslines Canuck to the mat! Canuck
and Davidson and Kestler hit him with a DOUBLE POWERBOMB!
Psycho Jay: It's over. Canuck's a pussy he ain't getting up.
GP: Kestler covers and the ref counts,
1.....................2.................THREEEEEEENO! Crazy Canuck
escaped that pinning predicament!
Psycho Jay: He didn't escape shit! That ref's a biased piece of cow
JT: I agree, HEY REF! KNOW YOUR ROLE AND COUNT FASTER!
GP: Kestler pulls Canuck up by the hair, kicks him in the stomach!
FROM BEYOND! NOOO! Canuck low-blowed Kestler and nailed him with a
valley driver! Now Canuck makes the tag! Here comes Brother Al!
Psycho Jay: That's not brother Al, the
English announcer's table> He's brother Al.
GP: Well whoever that is in the ring just clocked Kestler with a
forearm and slapped him in a leg lock!
JT: That's an illegal move! He's choking him!
GP: JT, he's not anywhere near his throat, how can he be choking h....
Psycho Jay: Hey! If JT says it looks like a choke then it damn well
One more time Parker and your in trouble!
GP: Well now Kestler has reached the ropes to break the hold. Brother
picks up Kestler and drops him on his head with a piledriver! Al
the ropes and drops an elbow onto Kestler, he covers,
JT: Who the hell is gonna win after a little elbow?
Psycho Jay: Nobody is, especially not when it's Brother Al trying to
Rob Kestler. By the way, have you read his book?
JT: Yeah! I love it!
GP: I don't understand much of it.
Psycho Jay: Just call the match, nobody wants to hear your book
GP: Brother Al grabs Kestler's legs, he's going for a boston crab!
Kestler kicked Brother Al in the knee and rolls him up!
1................2................KICKOUT! Another close call there.
Both men are up. Brother Al swings at Kestler, Kestler ducks and hooks
in for a rock bottom, Brother Al elbows Kestler in the head and
into a death penalty! Al is heading up top! He dives off with a
legdrop! HE CONNECTS!
JT: Oh no.
Psycho Jay: Don't say that JT, everything's under control, it's gonna
lot more than that top keep Rob down.
GP: Now Brother Al tags in Crazy Canuck! The nail Kestler with a
vertical suplex! Now Canuck is climbing the ropes and Al is holding
down! Canuck with a suicide headbutt off the top! He covers,
1..................2....................SHOULDER UP! Kestler barely
Psycho Jay: Barely my ass, that was hardly a two count let alone a
GP: Now Canuck pulls Kestler to his feet, BRIANBUSTER! Kestler's
came in and made the save. The ref is telling him to go back to his
Meanwhile Brother Al sneaks into the ring! Canuck and Al picks up
send him to the ropes and nail him with a double faceslam!
Psycho Jay: They better stop with that shit or I'm gonna have to get
GP: Al gets out of the ring and Canuck covers again,
1.....................2...................SHOULDER UP! Again Kestler
to barely kickout! The US Champ simply will not stay down!
Psycho Jay: No shit Parker, like anyone associated with the Usual
would stay down and lose to a team like the Foreign Legion? Like I
said, they lost to the Prime Time Soldiers! How fucking pathetic is
TUS just doesn't lose.
JT: That's right Parker, when was the last time you saw Jay lose?
GP: Well, he lost to Phelen Kell last month and he also lost to Ken
right after winning the North American title.
Psycho Jay: Ok that's it, I've had enough outta you strapper.
(Psycho Jay knocks Greg Parker off of his chair, slaps him in the face
then begins HUMPING HIS HEAD! PARKER'S HEAD HAS BEEN HUMPED!)
Psycho Jay: No more talking for you either Parker, fat shit. Me and
take it from here.
JT: Yes! No Strappy and no Parker!
Psycho Jay: That's right. Now that Canadian fuckface has Kestler back
He connects with a hard right, but Kestler doesn't go down. Kestler
back with a few rights and a hard left, that knocked the disgrace to
back to the ropes. Kestler follows with a spinning heel kick but
worst mistake ducks!
JT: Damn, Kestler's boys just got all tangled up in the ropes!
Psycho Jay: That musta hurt. But Rob will use his Psychic powers to
the pain away. Canuck is tagging that bad teeth having British schmuck
They whip Kestler to the ropes, they go for a double clothesline, but
Wonder ducks it and comes back with a flying cross body block! What
fuck. The Foreign fucks caught him! DOUBLE POWERSLAM! Shit!
JT: That wasn't fair.
Psycho Jay: Don't have a fear JT, Kestler''s gonna make a comeback.
my man Davidson, he's itchin' to get in and slap that English ass hole
around. Brother Al is going for the figure four! Kestler kicks him in
ass and Brother Al the English flamer flies into the turnbuckle.
up and he destroys Al with a running clothesline! Kestler dives and
tag to Davidson!
JT: No place to hide for brother Al!
Psycho Jay: Davidson nails the English dickhole with a spinebuster
Crazy Canuck is coming in! He gets kicked in the stomach and nailed
neckbreaker! Davidson picks Brother Al back up and plants him with a
Crazy Canadian bitch is up and Davidson flips him up and slams him with
dominator! Brother Al is stumbling to his feet and Davidson nails him
flapjack! Crazy Canuck is getting up near the ropes, Davidson picks up
drops his throat across the top ropes! Davidson pulls Canuck up and
Presses him out of the ring to the outside!
JT: Oh my god! The two midgets just got up from the table and are
Crazy Canuck! They're biting him and yelling "aye"! HAHAHA!
Psycho Jay: Sucks for him doesn't it? Now Davidson is still in
love this! Watching my boys kick some ass is always fun. Davidson
Brother Al the English waste and nails him with a jumping sitdown
piledriver! HAHAH! Al's neck has gotta be broken! Now Kestler gets
JT: Canuck is still hurt on the outside and being pestered by the
Psycho Jay: Good, he deserves it, and Brother Al deserves what he's
get cause they were cheating earlier with their double team bullshit.
Kestler has Brother Al on his shoulders! Davidson heading to the top
Davidson is yelling out the numbers!
HE COMES OFF WITH THE SEVEN SECOND DELAY(diamond cutter off partner's
shoulders)!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE BROTHER AL'S HEAD BOUNCE OFF THE
JT: That was great!
Psycho Jay: Davidson ain't going for the pin yet. He's gonna go for
one! Kestler has Brother English dick's limp ass on his shoulder
Davidson's back up top! The crowd's chanting along! NOO! WHAT THE
THAT? Crazy Canuck just knocked Davidson off the top turnbuckle with
midget Crazy Canuck! Shit!
JT: He can't do that! You can't hit someone with a midget!
Psycho Jay: Now Canuck hops through the ropes and clips Kestler's
Brother Al falls on Kestler! The ref can't count! Kestler's not the
man! Crazy Canuck's stupid ass is yelling at the ref! Hold on a
(Psycho Jay gets up and grabs Kestler's US title. He tosses it to
Davidson blasts Brother Al across the face with it!)
JT: Yes! BLOOD! BROTHER AL'S BUSTED OPEN!
(Davidson then picks up Brother Al and hits with the Seven Second Delay
the belt! Davidson tosses the belt back to Psycho Jay and covers.)
Psycho Jay: Ah, my duties are done.
JT: The ref is still distracted by Canuck!
Psycho Jay: I guess they're not done.
(Psycho Jay gets up again and climbs onto the apron! He yells at
turns around and nails Jay! Jay falls off the apron and goes right
the EBONICS ANNOUNCERS TABLE! Canuck springs off the ropes and lands
on the outside!)
JT: The ref sees the pin now! 1...........2............THREE! IT'S
Davidson and Kestler win it! Psycho Jay and Crazy Canuck are rumbling
outside! Here comes Vincent! He doesn't even have an IWO contract!
down and slaps Canuck with his penis! Vincent is beating Crazy Canuck
with his massive penis! THIS IS AWESOME! Now Psycho Jay is humping
Canuck's head! Jay gets into the ring. Jay HUMPS BROTHER AL'S HEAD
Davidson and Kestler hold him! HAHAHAHAHA!
(""Fuck off" by Kidrock blasts as The Usual Suspects stand in the ring
the bloody and humped Brother Al. GP and Stinky begin to speak again.)
GP: That's it JT, we're not having any more guest announcers!
Stinky: Yes that was outrageous and had nothing to do with
JT: Screw you both! Jay is a great announcer.
GP: Well he's taken things too far now, me and Stinky have both had
heads humped and let me tell you that's not an enjoyable experience!
JT: haha! Everyone got their heads humped except for me!
(Just then Psycho Jay comes over to the announcer's table.)
Psycho Jay: Hey JT, nice doing work with ya.
JT: Anytime Jay.
Psycho Jay: Yeah, no prob. Oh, I don't want you to feel left out.
(Psycho Jay grabs him and HUMPS JT'S HEAD!)
Psycho Jay: HAHAHA! Have a great day:-)
(Psycho Jay, Chris Davidson and Rob Kestler walk to the back, leaving
Brother Al and the two midgets all laid around ringside.)
GP: This match was ridiculous!
Stinky: Yeah, and those non F.U.C.K.ing guys won. This sucks.
(The scene opens ?¿?, N'Sync, and Richard Simmons in their private
room. We see N'Sync is working on their next plan to rip off the
Richard Simmons works out wearing his signature shorts and tank top.)
?¿?: Um.....guys. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave now.
Justin: WHY!?! WE'RE HAVING OH SO MUCH FUN!
?¿?: Well, maybe you guys are, but this is really sucking for me.
Richard Simmons: Sucking? Like lyposuction?
?¿?: No. Like the Clippers.
Joey: Hey man, I never want to hear you say, that you want it that way.
?¿?: GOD! YOU'RE JUST RIPPING OFF THE BACK STREET BOYS! WHO ARE RIPPING
Chris: Beatles? I have no knowledge of these so called "Beatles."
?¿?: I know you do. Anyway, I'm going to leave.
Richard Simmons: Wow! Calm down mister happy pants!
?¿?: I'm not even going to comment on that.
Richard Simmons: Well, we can have LOT'S of fun!
?¿?: Cool. How?
Richard Simmons: TWISTER!
All N'Syncers: YEAH!
?¿?: Well, I guess that could be good....I used to always play that
game as a
(Richard Simmons pulls out the Twister board.)
Richard Simmons: HERE! You go first Mstyerious One!
?¿?: Alright coolness.
(?¿? spins the spinner.)
JC: Right foot on red.
(?¿? puts his right foot on a red circle.)
Richard Simmons: MY TURN!
(Richard Simmons spins the spinner.)
Richard Simmons: EWWWWW! LEFT HAND ON GREEN!
(Richard Simmons puts his left hand on a green cirlce.)
All N'Syncers: OUR TURN!
?¿?: Hey, it's one at a time.
Lance: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
(Joey spins the spinner.)
Justin: AH! Right hand on blue! Looks like we're right next to each
?¿?: EXCELLENT! HEHE I LOVE THIS GAME!
(?¿? spins again.)
?¿?: Right hand on green.
(?¿? puts his right hand on green. The game continues.)
Clash of the Champions
Scott Stone w/ Tyler Johnson vs. Jordan Howitt w/ Randal McCloud
These two teams went nose to nose last Monday Night....Friday they will do
it again this time on on one. This should be well worth the price of
GP: OK fans welcome back to HT. We got a intresting one on one contest up
next. We will see Scott Stone w/ Tyler Johnson vs. Jordan Howitt w/ Randal
SBW: I'll tell you, These two teams went nose to nose last Monday
Night....Friday they will do it again this time on on one. This should be
well worth the price of admission.
JT: Ha hell I wouldent pay to come to this show if my life depended on that.
SBW: WHAT!?!? Do you want that to be arrenged that can be arrenged.
JT: Ummm I mean I would pay a million Dollars to come and see this great
show....In fact its the greatest show ever..
SBW: Thats what I thought you said.
GP: You guys need to stop your bickering and give me who you think will win.
JT: To tell you the truth I think both guys suck. They ant got nothing on any
members from the Billion Dollar Promotion. Let alone each other.
SBW: Well unlike my stupid conterpart I beleave that one half of the Prep
Kids Jordan Howitt will win this match hands down.
GP: Well personaly I think your both crazy but nonetheless we have a match to
get to. So lets go to the ring!
Anouncer: Ladies and Gentalman this next match is for one fall. Introducing
first weighing in at 240 lbs. He is acompanied to the ring by Tyler Johnson.
he is SCOTT STONE!!!
["Scott's a Dork" by Reel Big Phish plays over the load speakers and Stone
comes walking out with Tyler Johnson.]
Anouncer: Introducing next weighing in at 202 lbs. He is acompanied to the
ring by Randal McCloud. He is Jordan Howitt!
["One Man Army: McCloud Edit" by Our Lady Peace plays over the building as
the Prep kids walk out.]
GP: Well fans this match is about to get stated. Personaly I cant wait.
JT: I can wait for any match on this Damn show.
SBW: Hey you better stop that. You dont want to break Chairmen Dan's F.U.C.K
JT: Oh what will he do fire me?
SBW: Yep....Thats exactly what he will do.
JT: WHAT! I mean ummmm ummmm Darn!
GP: Oh god. Well fans this one is on the way.
GP: Both men start off in there own corners. They seem to be talking to there
partners. But wait Stone turns around and runs at Howitt. Howitt gets out of
the way and Stone nails his head into the turnbuckle pad. Stone falls
backwards and meets the arm of Howitt. Howitt all ready off to a good start
jumps to the outside aperen. He is waighting for Stone to get up. Stone is up
and OH!!! Howitt just did a flying shoulder block ring into the face of
Stone. What a move. Howitt pins. 1...2..NO kick out after two. Howitt picks
up Stone and tosses him into the ropes. Howitt goes for a drop kick but meets
nothing but air! Howitt falls to the ground but gets up right away. OH kick
to the midsectone by Stone. Howitt falls back.....DDT! Stone plants Howitt
and he is quick to his feet. Stone picks up Howitt and delivers a monster of
a suplex. Stone pins......1....2..NO! Kick out by Howitt. Stone seems a bit
mad and starts to have a fight with the ref over the count.
JT: Ha thats a boy Look at that Tyler is choking the hell out of Howitt.
SBW: Someone tell the ref this cant happen. Wait look her comes McCloud to
stop him. OH damn!
JT: Hey Someone get dane he broke a F.U.C.K rule! Hello am I talking to my
SBW: Shut up you demented litte nome!
GP: Back in the action we just saw McCloud deliver a spining heel kick to
Tyler. The two are now fighting on the floor. Back in the ring Howitt is on
the mat holding his neck and Stone has just stoped fighting with the ref.
Stone picks up Howitt and puts him bwteen his legs. It looks like he is going
to try for a Powerbomb. Stone gets him up and starts running. He NO!!! Howitt
squeezes out of the move and lands on his feet.. OH short closeline by
Howitt. Stone is down. Howitt is quick to his feet. He goes to the top ropes
and waits for Stone. On the outside Tyler has the McCloud down. Tyler looks
up and sees Howitt on the ropes. Tyler now...what the hell is he doing? Tyler
just tossed McCloud into the ring. The ref is now running over to stop
McCloud from interfearing. The ref has his back turned and OH....OH MY GOD!
Tyler juts took Howitt's feet out from under him. Howitt talls and nails his
balls on the turnbuckle. Stone is to his feet and gets on the second
SBW: What is he going to do? He cant...He wont.
JT: HAHAH Tyler is pulling out a table fro under the ring. He is setting it
up! Oh Yes!
GP: back in the ring McCloud has gotten to his feet as the ref gets him out
of the ring. The Ref runs over to Stone and tells him not to do it. Stone
pushes him away as the Ref falls back. The ref gets his balence and runs back
over to Stone who pushes him away again. The Ref has had enough. He walks
over and pulls Stone off the turnbulcks and is starting to yell at him. Stone
cant beleave it. OH He just nailed the ref. The ref is out cold. Stone shugs
off the fact that he took out the ref and turns around....OH!!! Oh my god!
Howitt just came of the top ropes with a Block Buster!
Stone is out cold. Howitt pins.......There is no one to count it the ref is
out cold. Tyler is now in the ring but is met by McCloud. The two are going
at it. left right left right there going nuts. Fainly McCloud gets the upper
hand and is now pushing Tyler back with punches. Howitt is up and behind
Tyler....Hes got him up.........American Dream (DVD/Elbow to the
Back)American Dream....American Dream! The prep kids take down Tyler with the
American Dream! Tyler is out. But hold on Stone is up and is walking out
around the outside. Hes got a chair. The Prep Kids dont see him as they
celabrate. Stone is in the ring......OH MY GOD! He just nailed McCloud with
the chair. McCloud falls down and now Stone and Howitt go at it. The ref is
fainly getting to his feet. The ref sees the two men bralwing and trys to
break it up. But instead of stopping them both Stone and Howitt turn to the
ref and nail him right between the eyes. The ref is down and holding his
face. Howitt gets loses his momentum and gives Stone with advange he Stone
now pushes Howitt into the turnbuckls with the Table by it. Stone runs to the
other side and is going to do a splash. He runs at
OH MY GOD......OH MY GOD.......OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!
SBW: DiD i just see that?
JT: HAHAHA talk about taken your bumps....
GP: Howitt just reveresed Stones momentum and did a back body drop over the
turnbuckle and through the waiting table!!!! MY GOD! what now! Howitt is up
on the turn buckle. He Jumps! HE MISSES...Were the hell did Stone get that
from. How the hell did he role out of the way. Both men are out cold on the
mat. The ref is up he starts the count.
6.......................Howitt is moving and so is Stone!
8.........................Howitt is to his feet and so is Stone.
9...........No weight Tyler just blind sided Howitt and Howitt is down but
McCloud just did the same thing to Stone......Both men are down again at 9!
10.............No this one is a double countout...But it ant over Tyler and
McCloud are still going at it.
Anouncer: Ladies and Gentalmen the ref has just informed me that this match
is a Double count out!!!!
JT: What I wanted to see more blood!
SBW: You still might McCloud and Tyler are still beating the crap out of each
GP: The two fight on as people from the backstage come running out here. They
are breaking up the fight as the medics come down to help out Stone and
Howitt who have just killed each other tonight!
SBW: This was one heck of a match!
::The scene cuts to the back where Brother Al and Chrome Thunder are haveing
an arguement. They are face to face.::
Brother Al:Alright just so you know tonight is MY night. We got swindeled by
those Usual Suspects earlier and now I am going to show the world I am a
force in the IWO by being the one who takes out Phelen Kell!
Chrome:Bull mother fucking shit. I am gonna go out their knock Kell's bitch
ass out with the Rain Drop and prove to the entire IWO that I am still a
force to go against in the IWO!
Brother Al:Silly American if you plan on just running out their and going
head up with Kell he is going to destroy you.
Chrome:FUCK THAT! I'm gonna take him out!
Brother Al:No no no...never send an American to do a Brits job...
::Suddenly a man in a mask runs up and nails Chrome with a baseball bat.
Brother Al swings at him but the man blocks it and cracks Brother Al in the
side of the head to. The masked man looks down at them and begins to laugh.::
#1 contendership match
Winner gets a shot at the Pac title
Coffee Table match
Jax Stone vs. Mad Max
They may both be in what might now be a defunct stable known as
Kilroy...however Friday night these two will pick eachother apart for a
chance to win the Pac title. Anything can happen with these two. To
must drive your opponent through a 3 inch Maple coffee table....sounds
huh? Hmmmm okay what if we wrap the ropes in barbed wire? Still
nothing....hmmmm how bout no DQ and uhhhhhh the coffee table has to be
fire? Well it's still not great but I guess it will work:o)
GP: Well fans, we're back here on Hostile Takeover!
JT: It's time for an EXTREME MATCH! F--- YEAH!!!
SBW: Watch your language young man.
JT: F--- off Skankey.
SBW: FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S STINKY!!!
JT: Sorry man, didn't know it was such a touchy subject. Wait, yes I
that's why I said it!
::JT starts laughing.::
SBW: Oh yeah? Well you're being censored!
JT: The f--- I am! Oh s---...you're right.
SBW: Chalk one up for Chairman Dane!
GP: Umm...ok. Anyway, we're ready for the Coffee Table Match! If you
know what exactly a Coffee Table Match is, Mad Max and Jax Stone will
trying to put each other through a three-inch Maple coffee table. Not
that, but the table will be on fire, and the ropes will be wrapped in
JT: In other words, LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD!
GP: We go now to the official IWO Ring Announcer to bring out tonight's
Official IWO Ring Announcer: The following matchup is scheduled for one
fall, with a twenty minute time limit. It is for the Number-One
Contendership for the IWO Pacific Championship. Coming to the ring
::"The Frayed Ends of Sanity" by Metallica starts to play and out from
back comes Mad Max! As always, Bat is right there with him! The fans
absoluetly crazy at Max's arrival!::
Official IWO Ring Announcer: MAAAAAAAADDDD
::Big pop for Max.::
Official IWO Ring Announcer: And his opponent...
::The theme from the Mortal Kombat movies plays, and Jax Stone comes
with John Smythe.::
Stone: What the hell? God damnit, Im NOT the guy from Mortal Kombat!
it MY fault my parents were ignorant enough to name me after a hotly
disputed video game?
::Shot cuts to the sound truck, where everybody is laughing at Jax
Sound Manager: Youre right, Frank! It DID piss him off!
Frank: You damn right!
::Shot cuts back to the arena, where Jax Stone just decides to go with
and he walks down to the ring.::
Official IWO Ring Announcer: JAAAAAAAAAXXX
::Mixed reactions, most fans just cheer out of politeness and/or
theyre drunk off their ass.::
((Ding Ding Ding))
GP: Well things are starting out slow, as Max and Jax circle the ring,
neither one wanting to make the first move. Outside the ring you can
some IWO employees setting the table on fire.
JT: I can almost see the blood now...
GP: Well Jax decides that hell make the first move, as he runs in at
Max moves and hits the Drop Toe Hold! Max back up to his feet, as is
SBW: Does anybody else notice that Max and Jax rhyme?
JT: No duh.
SBW: WELL EXCUSE ME!!
JT: Sadly, there is no excuse for you.
SBW: POOP ON YOU JT!
GP: Never mind Max, go back to wrestling. Max turns around, and Jax
him with a DDT! Jax goes outside, and tosses the coffee table into the
ring. He follows it in, and turns it right-side up.
JT: Come on Jax!
GP: Jax whips Max into the ropes, and a Back Body Drop onto the coffee
table! It didnt break, though, as Maxs body lays limp over the
wood maple. Jax picks Max back up now. You can see a few slices in
back from the barbed wire ropes. Jax picks Max up, and sets him up on
top rope! SUPERPLEX ONTO THE COFFEE TABLE!
JT: Yes! It didnt break! More blood and gore to come!
SBW: Youre disgusting.
GP: Jax cant believe that the table didnt break! He sure is pissed
He picks up Max again, and sends him into the ropes. Max reverses it,
when Jax comes back, he delivers a vicious Samoan Drop onto the coffee
JT: Still doesnt break!
GP: Max picks Jax up from the canvas, and sets him up...PILEDRIVER!
JT: Nope, not breaking.
GP: Max picks Jax up, and rubs his face on the barbed wire! Jax is
like a faucet! He throws him into the ropes again, and ducks for a
SBW: Classic mistake. He telegraphed the move, and Jax Stone is able
GP: Counter he does, AS HE POWERBOMBS MAX THROUGH THE TABLE!
::JT pulls out his binoculars.::
JT: YES! IT IS CRACKING A LITTLE BIT!
SBW: Lemme see...
JT: Get your hands away from my binoculars Stinky.
SBW: ITS ST...wait, you actually said it right!
JT: I did?
SBW: WATCH THE LANGUAGE!
::While all this is happening, GP has JTs binoculars and is looking at
GP: JT is right, the table is showing small signs of cracking. Jax
Max back up, DVD ONTO THE TABLE!
::JT grabs his binoculars back.::
JT: Nothing. They obviously arent slamming each other hard enough.
SBW: What are you talking about? Id like to see you try that stuff!
GP: Max rolls away from a Jax leg drop, and gets up. DDT ONTO THE
GP: He picks Jax back up, Piledriver again!
JT: Umm...maybe a little more of a crack.
GP: Jax back up on his feet, and he dropkicks Max into the ropes! Max
hanging from the ropes, blood pouring from numerous gashes on his body!
takes Max over, and sets him up on the turnbuckle nearest the coffee
He goes for a Powerbomb...BUT MAX REVERSES IT INTO A DDT!!! JAX STONE
CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!! MAX ROLLS AWAY FROM THE FLAMING DEBRIS
MAX HAS WON THE MATCH!
((Ding Ding Ding))
Official IWO Ring Announcer: YOUR WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER FOR HIGH
PACIFIC TITLE, MAAAAAADD MMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!
::The Frayed Ends of Sanity by Metallica starts up again as Max and Bat
a happy dance (yes I know that Bat is an inanimate object but Max is
Bat so shut up) in celebration!::
GP: Wow! Mad Max is the new #1 Contender for the Pacific Title!
SBW: But all that blood is sickening.
JT: Its cool!
::As Jax Stone and Mad Max leave the ring we hear "Alright (Oh yeah)"
LocalH begin to play. Suddenly Dane Wilt steps out to the boos of
Virginia. Dane is wearing a Super Heel T-shirt and has the IWO World
wrapped around his waist. He enters the ring and grabs a mic.::
Dane:Ladies and gentlemen...and STILL IWO WORLD CHAMPION...GENETIC
Dane:I told all of you fuckin idiots I would be walking out of that
castle with the IWO World Title...but still everyone dobuted me. Ken
War....Capital Punishment you two are now in the club. Welcome to the
Wilt kicked my punk ass" club. You will now join the ranks of Phelen
Zombie, and Al Coholic!
Dane: Believe it or not fans I do have a reason for being out here...I
like to call out Apollo, Brian Dudley, and Michael Dudley.
::"Money" by KMFDM begins to play as Dane stands in the ring with the
the Billion Dollar Promotion.::
Dane:Alright guys I've been thinking....I don't need you. I don't need
of you. I am the best IWO Champion EVER and I sure as hell don't need
guys leaching off of me. So BHB you guys go out and win your tag
And Apollo...I'm sure you'll land on your feet.
Brian:Whoa whoa whoa...after all we've done for you...after all we've
for the IWO...just like that your killing the Billion Dollar
Dane: Yeah just like that .
Apollo:HEY! You told me when I joined I'd get title shots...I want my
Dane:If you want em' go out an do what I did...screw people over till
board finally gives in. I'm tired of hauling around a bunch of SECOND
Wrestlers like yourself! Get your shit out of MY mansion...it's over
Michael:YOUR MANSION!?!? NO NO NO...it's OUR mansion bitch.
Dane:No no no...it's in MY name theirfore it's MINE ALL MINE!
Dane:Well good luck to all of you...I'm sure BHB will make great I/C
champions and Apollo...you'll be a fine TV champ. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
::Dane turns to walk out of the ring but Brian Dudley and Apollo run
attack him. They give him a double powerbomb and then Michael goes up
and drops and elbow right in Dane's ribs. Brian pulls out his golf
busts it over Dane's head. The crowd is cheering them on as they do
They spit on Dane and leave the ring.::
GP:OH MY GOD! THE BILLION DOLLAR PROMOTION IS OVER!
SBW:Let me tell you this makes the Executive board very happy....we've
to see this happen for quite sometime...and now that it finally has we
Hardcore Hardwear Store Match
Winner gets an North American Title Match
Fugite vs Jack in the Box
Winner is the first one to reach the roof of the store. Whoever gets
first will be the #1 contender for the NA title. Fugite has been
successful since his redebut here in the IWO, but is he a match for a
like Jack in the Box?
GP: Here we go fans! This one should be a classic!
JT: Well, it has the ability to be, but I'm thinking it won't be.
GP: And why is that?
JT: Well, you've got two guys who were pretty good when they were in
last time, however, now they're really new again. In other words, they
rookies in a way, and, as you know, I HATE rookies.
GP: Well, it does have some interesting rules. I mean, a Hardcore
match! That should bring on some great moves.
JT: AND BLOOD!
SBW: Gosh golly gee, why are you so into blood? Blood is the root of
GP: I thought blood was the root of all life.
SBW: Shut your yapper! Blood means violence and cussing. Just the
F.U.C.K is against!
JT: Why are you such a F.U.C.K fan?
SBW: IT'S A GREAT MOVEMENT! I mean, if everyone was F.U.C.King, the
would be a better place.
JT: Well, I know that F.U.C.K is an awful idea. It like communism or
GP: Are you saying Chairman Dane is a Russian spy?
JT: Could be.
SBW: NO! HE'S NOT! Chairman Dane is the mother F.U.C.Ker!
Ring Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE FOLLOWING CONTEST, IS THE
ATTRATION, HARDCORE HARDWEAR MATCH!
(The fans pop.)
Ring Announcer: THE RULES OF THE MATCH ARE SIMPLE! THE FIRST MAN TO GET
THE ROOF OF THE HARDWEAR STORE IS THE WINNER! OUR FIRST COMBATANT
FOOT 6 AND WEIGHS A 285 POUNDS! HE IS THE MASTER OF LOST TIME!
(The camera goes to Fugite standing in in the hardwear store. The fans
Ring Announcer: OUR NEXT COMBATANT STANDS.......A CERTAIN HEIGHT AND
A.........CERTAIN WEIGHT! HE IS THE MASTER OF.....SOMETHING!
(The shot goes to Jack in the Box standing in the hardwear store. The
boo him when they see him.)
GP: Well, I'm going with Fugite on this one. He's been looking pretty
since his return, and I see a win here tonight.
JT: GP you ignorant slut.
SBW: STOP WITH THE CUSSING!
JT: I'll stop when I want to. Ass.
SBW: YOU DON'T WANT F.U.C.K TO GET ONTO YOU!
JT: I'm sure. Anyway, I like Jack in the Box in this one. While he may
techinically still be a rookie, I like the way he is going.
GP: JT, he's a legend.
JT: Hey, I look at length of stay at time of match starting from his
entry in the IWO. He's a rookie in my book.
GP: Whatever. He is a legend though.
SBW: Hey, aren't legends against blood and cussing like me?
GP: And the match starts!
JT: Fugite and Jack tie up......knee to the gut by Jack.....he suplexs
onto the concrete floor!
GP: That's an interesting point too. There is no padding at all in this
store. If you hit anything, it's going to hurt.
JT: Jack now grabs a broom......he breaks it over Fugite's head!
GP: Jack now grabs a piece of lawn furniture......he throws it onto
It just bounces off!
JT: Jack now grabs Fugite's legs.......he sling shots him into shelf
paint! Here comes the shelf!
GP: WOW! That shelf just landed on both men! They're both now covered
paint! Jack's plan really backfired!
JT: Nah! He'll just recover from this like that!
GP: Well, Fugite manages to get out from under the shelf and is now
something.....HE GRABS RAKE!
SBW: NO! NO BLOOD! NO BLOOD!
GP: Fugite pulls the rake up.....AND DRIVES IT DOWN ON JACK'S HEAD!
SBW: NO! OH THE HUMANITY!
JT: Shut up bitch!
SBW: DON'T TRY TO BRUISE MY EGO!
JT: I'LL BRUISE YOU'RE EGO ALL I WANT TO! BITCH!
SBW: STOP YOU'RE SWEARING!
JT: I'LL SWEAR ALL I WANT! BITCH!
GP: STOP! I think I can see where this is going!
JT: Well, Fugite now pulls teh bloody Jack out from under the
now lifts him up......HE THROWS HIM THROUGH THAT WINDOW!
GP: JACK IS BUSTED OPEN LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN! HE'S GOT GLASS STICKING
SBW: STOP THE BLOOD! STOP THE VILOLENCE!
GP: Fugite now grabs Jack again....BACK BODY DROP ONTO THE CONCRETE!
JT: I may have to take back what I said about Jack at this point.
GP: Jack is stumbling to his feet some how......Fugite runs back....he
charges...JACK MOVES AND FUGITE RUNS INTO AN ASSORTMENT OF METAL GARDEN
JT: I take back what I said. My bet is still with Jack.
GP: Jack is going to have to capitalize on this mistake to get ahead in
match.....he now grabs Fugite and starts pulling him.
JT: I wonder where he is taking him?
GP: Jack has now pulled Fugite to a displey of ladders!
JT: I can see where we are going with this one!
SBW: NO! NOT THIS! NO!
JT: Jack starts to climb a ladder....he gets to the top......MOONSAULT
FUGITE FROM THE LADDER! WHAT A MOVE!
GP: Jack now grabs ladder....HE DRIVES IT INTO FUGITE'S HEAD!
JT: Jack now sets the ladder up again.....he climbs it.....he pushes it
down....HE LANDS THE LADDER ONTO FUGITE!
GP: What's this? Jack in the Box is walking off? Where is he going?
JT: Beats me.
SBW: Well, now we've got dead air.
GP: So.....how've you been?
JT: Pretty good.
JT:......How about you?
GP: Good.The kids are really growing.
JT: Great........This really a good match, you know?
GP: Yeah. That whole paint thing was awesome.
JT: Yeah. You don't see that everyday.
JT: I hate it when we have dead air.
GP: Same here.
JT: AND HERE COMES JACK!
GP: Thank God!
JT: HE'S RIDING A LAWN MOWER! HERE WE GO!
GP: OH NO! HE'S GOING TO FUN OVER FUGITE! HE CAN'T DO THAT!
JT: YES HE CAN!
SBW: NO! THIS MEANS GORE! GORE IS BAD! IT'S AGAINST F.U.C.K'S
JT: NO ONE CARES!
SBW: I DO!
GP: JACK COMES UP TO FUGITE........FUGITE STICKS A LAWN TOOL UP THE
GP: THE MOWER HAS STOPPED AND IS MAKING SOME STARNGE NOISE!
GP: THE MOWER JSUT BLEW UP!
JT: AND JACK FLEW INTO THAT ASSORTMENT OF LADDERS!
GP: Fugite is now up....he runs at Jack in the Box.......KNEE TO THE
JT: Fugite grabs a chain....he raps his fist with it...HE JUST NAILS
WITH IT! HE HAD TO KNOCK AT LEAST THREE TEETH OUT!
GP: Fugite now starts choking Jack with the chain!
JT: Fugite is now heading toward the stair way to the roof! NO! GET UP
GO JACK GO! GO JACK GO!
GP: Fugite is making his way up....he opens the door.......IT'S THE
ONE! THE RAGING ONE WAS STANDING OUTSIDE THE DOOR! HE JUST PUNCHED
FUGITE FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS!
JT: YES! THANK YOU RAGING ONE!
GP: Here comes some official's to take the Raging One away.....his
been done though....here comes Jack!
JT: YES! Jack now starts climbing up the stairs....he almost to the
GP: LOOK AT THIS! FUGITE JUST PUSH THE FIRE ALARM BUTTON! THE
JT: Why did he do that?
GP: JACK SLIPS ON THE WATER! HE FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS!
SBW: That's a lesson for all the children watching. Hold on to the
while walking up stairs!
GP: FUGITE NOW STARTS CLIMNING THE STAIRS!
SBW: WHILE HOLDING THE RAILING!
GP: Yes, while holding the railing. HE'S ALMOST THERE! YES! FUGITE IS
HE'S NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!
JT: All because of a dumb emergency fire button!
GP: Well, none the less, Fugite now has a shot at the North American
(We open on the BHB in the jobber locker room. We see a line of jobbers
standing in front of the BHB. They approach one guy wearing a tuxedo.)
Michael: Who are you?
Steve: Steve Kevinson.
Michael: Great. What's your gimmick?
Steve: I'm a stand up comic. Hey, what's the deal with chicken
What part of the chicken is the McNugget?
Brian: We'll get back to you.
(The BHB then approaches a guy wearing only overalls.)
Brian: Who are you?
Dickson: Dickson "Cocky" Craton.
Brian: And why do you think you are cocky?
Dickson: Oh, I'm cocky everywhere! It's cock this, cock that, cock,
Michael: MAYBE NEXT TIME!
(The BHB then approaches a guy wearing street clothes.)
Michael: And who are you?
Jonny: Jonny Allen.
Brian: Jonny Allen? HMMMMM. We had a cousin named John Allen when we
young. He was really cool and took us hunting every deer season. Okay,
in the match.
(The BHB walks out of the room.)
Brian: This guy sucks.
Michael: You've got that right.
Intercontinental Tag Team Championship
I/C Tag title match
The Beverly Hills Bruisers vs. Evan Levine and a mysterey partner
Evan Levine has now been kicked out of BDP and is out for revenge on
tag team champions. This one should be something else.
GP: Well fans, here we go for our big IC tag title match!
JT: YES! BHB....FAVORITE TEAM......WILL WIN!
GP: Great JT. Well, we saw the BHB pick a jobber a few moment ago for
JT: Yeah. And he SUCKS too!
SBW: DON'T USE THAT KIND OF LANGAUGE! YOU DON'T WANT F.U.C.K TO BEAT
DOWN! WITH NO BLOOD OF COURSE, BUT STILL A BEAT DOWN!
JT: Just give it a rest you ass hole.
Ring Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE NEXT CONTEST, SCHEDUELED FOR
FALL, IS FOR THE IC TAG TITLES!
(The fans pop.)
Ring Announcer: FIRST! HE STANDS 6 FOOT FIVE AND WEIGHS A 254 POUNDS!
THE MASTER OF THE NIGHTS WING! HE.....IS.....EVAN.....LEVINE!
("The Kids Aren't All Right" by Offspring starts as Evan Levine makes
to the ring to the cheers of the fans. He smiles as he walks to the
GP: Evan has been looking good ever since he left the Billion Dollar
JT: Are you kidding? He SUCKS since he left the Promotion!
SBW: DON'T USE THAT WORD!
JT: GIVE IT A REST BITCH!
SBW: I'M GOING TO KICK YOU'RE BEHIND MISTER, SO DON'T GET ME RILED!
GP: You guys have to GOT to stop fighting.
Ring Announcer: NEXT! COMING TO THE RING!
(The fans begin to boo already.)
Ring Announcer: AT A TOTAL COMBINED WEIGHT OF 464 POUNDS! THEY ARE THE
MASTERS OF THE SUN SET IN BEVERLY HILLS AND THE CURRENT IC TAG
BRIAN DUDLEY! MICHAEL DUDLEY! THE......BEVERLY.....HILLS.....BRUISERS!
("Pretty Fly For a White Guy" by Offspring starts as the BHB makes
to the ring. The booing is INCREDIBLE! With them walks Jonny Allen. All
men get in the ring, and Michael gets a mic.)
Michael: Okay Evan "Triple H" Levine, here is your partner. He's some
named Jonny Allen. You two should hit if off just right. After all, you
and he sucks! How lucky is that?
Evan: That's great Michael. You can call us Generation Rage!
Brian: Man, you this whole jobber team idea planned out, didn't you?
Evan: You could say that.
GP: AND HERE WE GO!
JT: Michael and Evan start this one out.....they both tie up.....LOW
LEVINE! MICHAEL IS USING HIS BRAIN HERE!
SBW: I don't see how you could condome someone using a move to hit
JT:......Did he just say penis?
JT: What a loser.
GP: Michael now sets up Evan....DDT! MICHAEL GOING FOR A QUICK WIN!
GP: Michael should have known that it would take more than that to beat
Levine.....especially in his condition. He wants this win, and it'll
lot to beat him.
JT: Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Michael WANTED Evan to kick out. It's all
the BHB's plan to win this thing.
GP: Michael now pulls Evan up....he starts throwing rights and
Evan blocks a shot and starts throwing his own at Michael!
JT: Just keep watching.
GP: Evan sets up for a suplex.......BRIAN IS HANGING ONTO MICHAEL'S
TIGHTS......Evan can't pull Michael up like that......MICHAEL SUPLEXES
OUT OF THE RING!
JT: WHAT A MOVE!
GP: ARE YOU KIDDING!?! THE BHB ARE CHEATING!
JT: Hey, you can call that cheating, but I call it great team work.
GP: I think even Stinkey knows it's cheating.
SBW: Hey, if it doesn't involve cussing or blood, it's okay with me!
GP:....WHAT IS WITH YOU!?!
SBW: I just do what is right for the IWO. I listen to Chairman Dane.
JT: You are sad individual.
GP: Evan now pulls himself up.....MICHAEL HITS HIM DOWN WITH A CROSS
BLOCK OUT OF THE RING!
JT: Michael now gets on the ring apron.....ASYI MOONSAULT OFF THE ROPES
LEVINE! HAHA! GO MICHAEL GO!
GP: I don't like him, but I can't deny Michael's skill.
JT: YOU BETTER BELEIVE IT!
GP: Michael now rolls Evan into the ring......Michael goes to the
top....SHOOTING STAR PRESS!
JT: MICHAEL COVERS!
1.........2......MICHAEL PULLS EVAN UP!
JT: YES! THEY'RE GOING TO BEAT DOWN ON EVAN SOME MORE!
GP: Michael now tags in Brian......Brian sets up Evan....PILE DRIVER!
JT: Brian pulls up Evan...JACK HAMMER!
GP: Brian covers!
1........2.....BRIAN PULLS UP EVAN!
GP: THIS NEEDS TO STOP!
JT: HAHA! THIS IS GREAT!
GP: Brian now tags in Michael....Michael lays Evan down....Michael goes
the top turnbuckle....SENTON BOMB ONTO EVAN! MICHAEL COVERS!
1.......2.....MICHAEL PULLS EVAN UP!
JT: THE BHB ARE SENDING A MESSAGE TO EVAN! NO ONE LEAVES THE PROMOTION
LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT!
GP: Michael pulls up Evan.....Michael goes for a closeline....EVAN
UNDER......HE TAGS IN ALLEN!
JT: HA! THE JOBBER! WUPDEE DOO!
GP: Allen runs in the ring....HE HITS MICHAEL WITH A RUNNING CLOSE
JT: This is all a plan. Don't worry!
GP: In comes Brian......ALLEN GIVES HIM A DDT!
JT: Heh. This is great. The BHB should be coming around....any time
GP: Allen sets up both men....DOUBLE DDT!
JT: Allen now pulls up Michael....RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!?! COME ON BHB!
GP: I DON'T THINK THEYARE KIDDING AROUND JT!
GP: HERE COMES APOLLO!
JT: YES! BDP FOR THE SAVE!
GP: Apollo gets in the ring........ALLEN GRABS HIM AND GIVES HIM A DDT!
JT: WHAT IS THIS!?!
GP: ALLEN SETS UP APOLLO......HE POWERBOMBS HIM OUTSIDE THE RING!
GP: Allen now grabs Michael....HE THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING!
GP: ALLEN IS SINGLING FOR EVAN TO COME IN THE RING!
JT: STOP THIS!
GP: ALLEN HOLDS BRING UP!
JT: DO SOMETHING BRIAN! GET OFF THERE!
GP: EVAN RUNS INTO THE ROPES!
JT: NO WAY!
GP: DUDLEY DEATH DROP!
GP: EVAN COVERS!
JT: STOP THE COUNT!
SBW: Hey, who saw ER last night?
JT and GP: SHUT UP!
3..................NO!!!!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL MAKES THE SAVE!
JT: YESSSSSSSS! YESSSSSSS! THERE IS A GOD!
GP: THAT ISN'T FAIR!
SBW: Well, now that the pinning thing is over, did you see ER.
GP: We'll talk after the match.
SBW: I can't beleive they're going to kill the girl.
GP: AFTER the match.
JT: Allen now charges at Michael.....BACK BODY DROP OVER THE TOP! HAHA!
IS KNOCKED OUT!
GP: This is SO unfair!
JT: Brian now pulls up a downed Evan.....he puts him up for a
GP: OH, I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING!
JT: MICHAEL GOES TO THE TOP....HE JUMPS OFF...HE KNOCKS EVAN OFF!
SUN SET IN BEVERLY HILLS! MICHAEL COVERS EVAN!
GP:Johny Allen makes the save! BHB are now double teaming him...they
into the ropes...Allen comes back and double back body drop by BHB!
JT:AHAHAHAHA! SEE THEY WILL WIN IT YET!
GP:Wait a second...here comes Chris Davidson and Rob Kestler walking
aisle...Michael Dudley and Brian Dudley have stopped and are yelling at
I know that their is alot of real life heat between the Dudley's and
Davidson so this could get ugly.
JT:NOOOO! DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THEM GO AND PIN EVAN.
GP:Davidson and Kestler are walking down to the ring BHB are
to come into the ring...and Davidson is challengeing them to come out
ring...wait a sec...Evan Levine just rolled up Brian Dudley and
pulled Michael Dudley out of the ring...the cover...
GPWE HAVE NEW I/C TAG CHAMPIONS! JOHNY ALLEN AND EVAN LEVINE DID IT!
JT:NOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS NOT A GOOD NIGHT FOR BHB!
GP:Now Kestler and Davidson are beating on Michael....and they are
away now after laying him out and costing him the I/C Tag Titles.
has a mic....
Davidson:Next week Michael Dudley...you and I...I'm gonna prove to the
of the IWO how over rated BHB really are!
::The scene fades to the back where we see Capital Punishment sitting
chair in the medical area of the arena. His face and head is solid
can't see any flesh at all.::
Cappy:Let me the hell out of here! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL FLYER AND
ME THE FUCK OUT!
Medic:Calm down sir...I'm sure you'll have other chances...but if you
moveing your going to get hurt alot worse...let me stich you back up...
Cappy:I AM GONNA FUCKING KILL THEM!
::Scene cuts over and we see Apollo walking in the back. He is pissed
Apollo:Fucking Dane Wilt want's to fuck with me? I'm gonna kick his
ass...right after I take out Phelen Kell tonight...do something Wilt
he could do without my help!
::Apollo is suddenly jumped from behind by the same masked man we saw
who attacked Brother Al and Chrome Thunder. He stands above the fallen
Apollo laughing. Suddenly G-Dogg comes out of no where and begins
punches. G-Dogg knocks him down and we see that the masked man is Da
G-Dogg:Dude why? We're all on the same team tonight...
DBB:Tonight the world will finally realize that DBB is not the pushover
everyone claims me to be...it's time for me to take my spot with the
G-Dogg:Dude their are better ways of doing shit like that then whipeing
your own team.
::The music begins to play that they always use in Full House when one
kids is getting a lecutre.::
G-Dogg:Team work is vital for success...why look at guys like Dane Wilt
Phelen Kell...they know the value of team work...they know that it
people shineing together to pull off something great. So why don't you
and the rest of the team work together tonight...what do you say?
DBB: I never realized that before...I have been a fool for
otherwise...I would love to be on a great team...wait no fuck it I'm
gonna hit you with a bat...
::DBB swings the bat but G-Dogg ducks and lays DBB out with the
G-Dogg then looks down at DBB and shakes his head.::
G-Dogg:PSH! what a prick!
Ashton Cain vs. Ken War
Ashton has been rather successful since his return to IWO TV. Ken War
been a fighting Pacific champion and was recently rewarded by a world
shot. This should be a hell of a match.
GP: Alright ladies and gentlemen this next match pits two of the IWOs
fierce competitors against one another in a match we call the Beach
Ashton Cain....of Hostile Youth and IWO Championship fame takes on Ken
the extremist himself.
SBW: Thats right Greg, these competitors will be fighting on the beach
overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Which is kinda odd considering Ken War
current reigning Pacific champion.
JT: Hey don't forget to tell the people Ken Wars Pacific Title is NOT
line here. Why that stupid F.U.C.K. Chairman Dane assigned this match
the title on the line...I don't know....but hey..its gonna be a great
Hopefully we'll get to see some bloody sand. I've never seen that
SBW: Your such a sick puppy JT. And don't worry parents in TV
won't be much blood...remember...F.U.C.K. is in control, and has made
good family television show!
GP: Alright....lets take you down to the beach where our camera crew is
standing by. Live on the scene is reporter Kenny Getitup. Kenny....are
KG: Yeah I'm here guys. And we're about to see this one get under way I
believe. Ken War is walking along the beach, in the waves, we're just
patiently awaiting the arrival of Ashton Cain....
GP: Do you see him in site anywhere Kenny?
KG: Not at the moment Greg, but I'm recieving word now that Ashton Cain
somewhere here. Its rumoured that he arrived early here today.
GP: What? Whats going on?
KG: Ken War just walked by and arising like a serpent out of the
Ocean appears to be Ashton Cain! He's sneaking up behind Ken War! He
looks to me a Muffler in his hand! OH MY GOD! HE CRACKED WAR OVER THE
WITH IT! Dear god! Dear god!
JT: HAHAHA! That was great!
SBW: NO! NO! NO! Chairman Dane is going to be angry! This is wrestling!
not violent TV!
GP: That made absolutely no sense what so ever...anyway...keep goin
KG: Did you guys see that? Cain just piledrived Ken War into the
GP: Yeah we're seeing it...we're seein' it! Oh! Cain is going to town
War! He's holding his head under water now! Ashton Cain is making a
come back from obscurity here folks. Cain now bringing Wars head out of
water, and putting him back under, but War flips him over and pulls
Police baton! He has one of those Police batons! Hes slashing at Ashton
it! OH! He might have injured Ashtons arm with that swing!
KG: You might be right there Greg! Cain is gripping his arm now. War
this and has gone after it. Oh wait! A kick to Cains gut, Cain falls,
begins thrashing away now at the arm of Ashton Cain! Hes thrown down
baton now and is lifting Ashton Cain to his feet. Whats he doing now?
SBW: AG! Ken War with an irish whip sends Cain into the side of a life
post. Cain hits the sand and Ken War is repaying the holding under
grinding Cains face in the sand! Cain has broken free and is struggling
see now. He's making his way blindly toward the water. he doesn't know
he's going. HAHA!
JT: Stupid bastard fell in the water! What a jackass!
SBW: HEY! Don't say that stuff or F.U.C.K. is gonna get you. They don't
F.U.C.K. around JT!
GP: Alright already. Lets get back to the action here. We have Ashton
down in the water trying to get the sand out of his eyes. And for
knows how that feels...you know Cain is in tremendous pain right now.
a course texture, and it is a killer when it hits the eyes. Cain is
up but is met by a Stop Sign to the back of the head! And Ashton hits
water again! War is taking it to this man for sure.
KG: You've got that right. As I follow these two down the beach,
distance they are really going at it. Ken has found a Volley ball and
taunting Cain with it. He keeps bouncing it off of Cains face. Cain is
Ashton: S-S-S-STOP IT! I'LL KIIIIIIIIILL YOU KEN WAR!
KG: Ashton is freaking out! He just speared War down and is punching
the face! He's biting him! Cain is biting War in the head! War is
Ken War: BITCH! STOP DAT SHIT BITCH!
Ashton: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
JT: THIS IS GREAT TELEVISION! HAHAHAHAHA!
GP: War now rolls Cain over and rakes him in the eyes and stands up. He
stomping on Cains stomach now. He lifts Cain up and into a Power slam
position and OH! He just threw Cain like a spear right into a trash
picks the trash can up now and smashed it across Cains back.
JT: Well isn't that just a bitch. HAHAHA!
SBW: STOP SWEARING POO HEAD!
JT: What did you call me?
SBW: THATS RIGHT! A POO HEAD! YOU SMELL LIKE FECES!
JT: I'm gonna kill you!
GP: CALM DOWN!
KG: Ken and Ashton are on one of the guard towers now. Ashton just
Ken War in the testicular area and has grabbed one of those stupid red
lifeguard floatie thingers and is beating him over the head with it. He
rolled War down the ramp now and is standing up on the roof of the
OFF THE TOP OF THE LIFEGUARD STATION COMES ASHTON CAIN ONTO KEN WAR!
goes for a pin. The referee runs in from the side.
GP: Ashton is amazed. He's lifting Ken up now and into a Samoan Drop.
wait...he's not dropping him? Whats he doing? OH NO!
JT: OH YES! KILL! MURDER! DEATH! DESTROY! AHAHAHAHAHA!
GP: DAMN IT THATS NOT FUNNY JT! HE'S TAKING KEN WAR UP ONTO THE
TOWER! OH! OH MY GOD! OVER THE RAIL INTO A DVD! THATS ATLEAST NINE FEET
ON TOP OF KEN WARS NECK! Cain is going to town! He's standing on the
on the guard tower again. He leaps off for a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! WAR
WAR MOVED! WAR MOVED!
JT: Jesus christ why don't I just change my name to Jerry Lawler? Would
like that Greg?
GP: Why would you do that?
JT: Because your an EXACT CLONE OF JIM ROSS!!!!!!
GP: AM NOT!
JT: ARE TOO!
GP: AM NOT!
JT: YES YOU ARE! Skanky...you agree don't you?
SBW: You do sound kinda like him.
GP: Aw the hell with both of you.
SBW: And my names not Skanky.
KG: Ken War is up to his feet now and is stumbling over toward Ashton
who is down on the ground. Remember ladies and gentlemen this is solid
ground. There is NO give what so ever like inside of the ring. These
taking a licking!
SBW: They certainly are. Ken War lifts Ashton Cain up and is dragging
down toward the water by his long hair that is already wet and caked
sand. He lifts Ashton up and throws him into the water. Cain is just
now as Ken War is going out after him....wait..
JT: Whys he stopping?
SBW: I don't know.
GP: And I don't sound like Jim Ross!
KG: Something is wrong. Ken War just turned around and went back out of
water. Oh my god Ashton Cain is apparently convulsing in pain. He's
at the top of his lungs! OH NO! A JELLYFISH JUST STUNG DOWN THE MIDDLE
ASHTON CAINS BACK! For the love of god!
GP: Cain is standing and coming into shore now. He makes it in but
his knees screaming. AW DON'T DO THAT! NO! NO! NO! KEN WAR JUST SLAPPED
ASHTON CAIN ACROSS HIS JELLYFISH STUNG BACK WITH THAT STOP SIGN AGAIN!
IS ALMOST YELPING NOW!
JT: HAHAHA! Its funny cuz I don't like'im.
SBW: Your so cruel.
JT: Atleast I'm not gay.
GP: OH! He got you again man!
SBW: More than your getting!
GP: AW! JT he smashed you!
JT: I'll get him next time.
GP: Ken War now is working on the pain factor of this match. He is
down the middle of Cains back! Look at this. This is wrong! This is
JT: This is quality entertainment from the IWO! I love it!
GP: Ken War is dragging Ashton through the sand now on his back.
that must feel...that amount of pain Ashton Cain must be feeling right
KG: War is taking Cain onto the Boardwalk now. The shops are all closed
course since we closed this section of the beach, so no one is around.
takes him up onto the wooden walk and flings him head first into a
Ashton falls to the ground. He is trying to stand up, but with every
knocked back to the ground by Ken Wars massive kicks to his stomach.
insanity! War now picks Ashton up again and throws him toward one of
shops along the boardwalk! OH! THROUGH THE WINDOW! He threw Ashton
the window! Cain is laying inside of the building as War follows him
::Kenny Getitup and the camera man run along inside looking in.::
GP: Ken War has picked up one of those plastic souvenire lobsters and
raking Cain across the face with it! But wait! Ashton Cain has a
back scratcher! LOW BLOW!
JT: Oh fuck man. Those things sting if you get slapped in the arm with
Imagine how Kens little buddies feel down there.
SBW: Ouch thats gotta hurt.....and don't say the F word.
JT: Fuck, fuck fuckidy fuck fuck.
SBW: Stop it!
JT: Shit ass damn hell bitch slut whore cunt.
SBW: STOP IT NOW!
JT: Fag ass shit whore clit dick.
SBW: THATS IT I'M TELLING DANE!
JT: GO AHEAD BUTTFUCK!
SBW: Oh...he's gonna take care of you..you..you....POTTY MOUTH!
JT: SHUT UP!
GP: STOP IT! back to the action. Take it Kenny.
KG: Ashton has the upper hand right now. He has a shirt wrapped around
Wars throat that he's choking him with. Its one of those "Farfrompuken"
shirts you see on all the streets at the beach. Wars face is turning
Ashton chokes him out. Wait, Ken War now with an Ippon Sae Nage (hip
Ashton sending him through a table cluttered with keychains and wrist
pouches! War begins to stomp on Ashton. Cain grabs a pair of sharks
rips them into Ken Wars leg! War is bleeding!
GP: Both men are down. War is pulling teeth out of his leg and Cain is
plain trying to stand. War has one of those talking beer mugs with the
penguin on top! He bashes Cain over the head with it. You can hear it
"Doobie Doobie Doo" as War rams it into Ashtons head! Ashton grabs one
Budweiser ones and mashes it against the open wound on Wars leg! Now we
a duet of "Doobie Doobie Doo" and "Bud Weis Er" aswell as both men
JT: Can this get any better?
GP: Ken War is swinging a stuffed Sword fish now!
JT: I stand corrected.
GP: He is beating Cain over the head with it. Both men are stumbling
the shop now, Ashton falls through the door to the outside and Ken War
follows behind. They make their way down the street now into a video
What is gonna happen here?
SBW: Ken walks passed Cain, who is still on the floor and has begun to
what looks to be the game "House of the Dead 2". Ashton is struggling
Ken to stand as Ken is now blowing the heads off of zombies. Ashton is
leaps at War but suddenly stops and looks at the game.
::On the spot.::
Ashton: BEASTIE! I LOVE HOUSE OF THE DEAD!
GP: What the...
SBW: Don't say the H word.
JT: They stopped fighting to play House of the Dead 2? What the fuck?
SBW: And what does "beastie" mean?
JT: You know...beastie like tequilla.
SBW: OH! BEASTIE! I get it now.
::On the spot.::
KG: Hey guys...could you fight please? We have a schedule to keep here.
::Ken and Ashton look at eachother.::
Ken War: Can we finish up and then not put any more quarters in?
KG: NO! Fight now damn it!
Ashton: We'll stop by here later after we get out of the hospital and
Ken War: Cool. Okay lets go.
GP: Ashton just kicked Ken in the nuts. How many times is that now?
JT: I don't know. But where he bit War on the head you can see the
KG: Ashton is bashing Kens head on one of those Arm WRestling machines
metal arms! He Irish Whips Ken into a set up of Street Fighter 3: XXX2
3 Championship Edition vs Marvel Super Heros!
JT: Good god they need to stop making more versions of that game.
SBW: I know right?
GP: The two men have gone through the back exit of the arcade and are
fighting towards a bus stop! Whats this? They both stopped fighting
They are sitting down on the bench!
::On the spot.::
Ashton: Where are we going?
Ken War: Lets get a nice overlook of the ocean for the remainder of the
Ashton: That sounds like a plan. Crap but I used my last fifty cents on
Ken War: Don't worry I'll cover you.
Ashton: Thanks man.
Ken War: No problemo.
::The bus comes and they get on it. The camera crew and Kenny Getitup
JT: Where the hell are they going?
SBW: They're treating this like a vacation or something. What the heck
gonna do now?
JT: I guess........wait?
::There is total silence as they wait. All commentators have stupid
their faces as they just look around. Suddenly Kenny Getitup is
KG: Guys we have arrived at some undisclosed cliff overlooking the
beach...we're in the middle of a road right now and Ken War and Ashton
have continued their brawl after the few minutes trip up here. They're
at it heavy again. They're fighting it out, Ken just flung Ashton into
metal divider thingers that keep people from flying off the edge of the
cliff. He comes in with a drop kick across Ashtons face now! Cain is in
way here folks let me tell you! Ken goes for a cover. The referee drops
the gravel road.
SBW: Ashton is standing now, both men are at it tooth and nail again.
the hell? OH MY GOD! A TRUCK IS COMING! A TRUCK IS COMING! GET OUT OF
KG: BOTH MEN HAVE LEPT OFF TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD! ASHTON JUST CLONKED
HEAD ON THE GUARD RAIL! OH GOD! KEN WAR FELL OFF OF THE EDGE OF THE
IS DEAD! HE HAS TO BE DEAD!
::The camera looks over the edge, we see Ken War on the rocks down
thirty-five feet, lying unconcious.::
KG: Okay he might be alive. The referee is making a count. He's
and Cain. I've been informed that the first man up will take the win...
GP: This is the moment of truth ladies and gentlemen...who will take
Beach Brawl home with a win?
GP: ASHTON CAIN IS UP! HE'S STANDING!
KG: ASHTON CAIN IS OUR WINNER! CAIN IS THE WINNER! HE'S STUMBLING
APPEARS TO BE HEADING MY WAY!
::Ashton stumbles towards Kenny Getitup and grabs his microphone.::
Ashton: I want everyone....everyone to see......exactly what just
Ken War.....he....he went against a force...that.....can't be
went against Ashton Cain!
::An Ambulance pulls up behind Ashton as he continues talking and pulls
War up from the bottom by rope. They load him onto a stretcher and
in the ambulance. The lights start up.::
Ashton: Ashton Cain is not someone to be taken lightly...I may have
absent for some time since my return to the IWO...but things are gonna
change...let me assure you that. I'm going straight to the top ladies
::As the Ambulance starts to pull away it is slammed into by a truck
chickens. The truck flips onto its side making tons of noise. Feathers
flying everywhere and there is a fire. The Ambulance is knocked
the doors fly open. We see the stretcher with Ken War on roll off the
the cliff. Ken War screaming can be heard.::
Ashton: I'm back...and I"m better than ever folks! And within an
amount of time you will be seeing Ashton Cain back where he rightfully
belongs, and thats at the top of the IWO...mark my words...
::A Lifeline Helicopter is seen in the background lifting Ken War off
rocks, it begins to ascend.::
Ashton: Face it...now that I'm back noone is safe...not Kell...not
::Suddenly a group of Mexican Freedom Fighters run out in camo gear
Ashton Cain and begin firing at the helicopter. It begins to smoke and
toward the ocean. Ken War is heard screaming again. The Mexican Freedom
Fighters run off screaming "Chae Guevera forever!"::
Ashton: Its all over....Ashton Cain is back on top!
::The camera feed goes black and we see the IWO broadcast team in the
GP: Well......I hope Kens alright.
JT: He always is.
GP: Thats true...ladies and gentlemen we hope to be able to give you an
update on the condition of Ken War in the next
really not much to say about that little happening while Ashton was
conduct that promo...the match was stupendous...Ashton Cain is your
winner.....we'll be right back after this...
JT: Hehe...Mexican Freedom Fighters...
**Cut to Commercial Break.**
Mainevent...does he still have it?
Phelen Kell vs. Apollo, Brother Al, G-Dogg, Chrome Thunder and Da Bronx Bro
JT: And it's time for career assassination!!! WOOHOO!!!!!
GP: As much as I hate to say it....JT is right. Phelen Kell must defeat five
men if he ever wants a shot at the World Title again....and besides that fact
Phelen Kell has NOT been cleared to wrestle tonight. The doctors don't want
Kell to wrestle here because during his match against the Mysterious One
Phelen took quite a pounding on his back.
SBW: Thats right Greg. Phelen has quite a task ahead of him tonight. From
what reports say Phelens back is really not in to great of shape, and I'm
sure Da Bronx Bros attacks on every single person in this match did not help
Kell out any. This is set to be a great matchup. And unfortunately this very
well could be the final hoorah for "The Legend" Phelen Kell.
Announcer: THIS CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR FIVE FALLS AND IS IN THE FORM OF A
GAUNTLET MATCH!! In this match up the rules are simple...on one side...a team
of five...on the other...a single man. The single man must go through all
participants in a row without any loses...if he were to lose a round...the
match is over. And now...the first of five men.....he stands at six feet and
nine inches, and weighs in at two hundred and eightythree pounds....HE
::Apollo walks out with Athena to the sounds of "Hate Me Now" by Nas...he is
getting ready for a fight.::
Announcer: AND, HIS OPPONENT!!!!
::"Sober" by Tool hits as "The Legend" Phelen Kell makes his way down to the
ring as the lights go to a dim gray.::
Announcer: HE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST EVER TO LACE UP THE BOOTS!!!! A FORMER
THREE TIME IWO HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION........ACCOMPANIED BY HARLEQUIN.......he
stands in at six feet two inches and weighs in at two hundred and fifty five
pounds...here is...."THE LEGEND" PHELEN KELL!!
::DING DING DING::
SBW: The match starts off with a Mexican Stand off of sorts as Phelen and
Apollo begin to circle eachother. Each watching the other like a hawk. A
brief pause.....and here we go with a collar and elbow tie-up
early.......Apollo shoves Kell into the corner, a quick strike, right hand!
He strikes him again! Apollo kicks him in the gut, which curls Kell over, DDT
from Da Dope Man himself Apollo!! He grabs Kell by the arm and throws him to
the ropes with an Irish Whip, Apollo ducks! Kell comes in and is thrown over
Apollos back and hits down for a back drop! Apollo is really going to town
here in the early goings of this match here folks. Apollo now lifting Phelen
Kell back up to his feet, he's curling him over...whats this? A POWERBOMB!!!!
POWERBOMB!!!! HE JUST DROVE PHELEN KELL THROUGH THE MAT! THROUGH THE DAMN
MAT! AND KELL IS HOLDING HIS BACK!! KELL IS WRITHING IN AGONY! LOOK AT THE
PAIN ON HIS FACE! He shouldn't be here damn it! Damn Apollo! Damn him for
wanting to win! Damn him! That could've broken him right there ladies and
gentlemen...the mans career might have ended right there!
GP: Phelen is hurting now. Apollo lifts him up , oh! Kell with a poke to the
eyes. He stands up and throws Apollo to the ropes, he follows Apollo to the
ropes and BAM! He nails him in the stomach with a knee to the gut! Kell
immidiately continues, he's on a roll now. He bounces off the ropes and drops
to a leg drop onto the neck of Apollo. He stands back up and runs off the
ropes again for another snap down leg drop!
SBW: Oh but look at this, Kell is laying on the ground grabbing at his back.
It is hurt! And I'm getting word now...if you notice Phelen is wearing an IWO
muscle shirt, this is to hide the fact that underneath all that he has
protective tape supporting his back. A veteran maneuver by Phelen Kell,
hiding his weakness, although everyone already knows "The Legend" is hurt.
GP: Phelen is not in a good position here, but he stands up again and is
lifting Apollo to his feet. Kell now with a snap suplex, both men go down
again! Kell rolls over onto Apollo for a pin attempt...
GP: A kickout there by Apollo who rolls to his feet. Phelen attempts to stand
but OH! HOLY SHIT! Apollo just kicked him straight in the face! Kells eyebrow
is cut open now! Apollo is stomping on him. Just stomping away. He goes off
of the ropes and down onto Kells back with a knee! Its obvious Apollo has
been doing his homework here tonight. Wouldn't you say Stupid?
SBW: My name is Stinky...and yes....I'd have to agree. Apollo is showing it
off here tonight. He definately reviewed some video tape. He has Kell by the
hair and flips him over for a snapmare. He has Kell now in a headlock. He's
holding him there...no...he let go and now has Kell in a surfboard maneuver.
GP: For a large guy Apollo sure is pretty flexable. He has that surfboard on
SBW: Your right, Apollo is one of a kind for sure. An up and comer here in
GP: Kell forces his way out though and rolls out of the ring to the floor and
Apollo is quick to follow. He is looking down on Kell, yelling at him! Apollo
is getting into this!
He knows that if he is the man to beat Phelen Kell, as the first man to come
out in this Gauntlet match, that it will boost his career something fierce!
And he's working his magic right now!
JT: Wow!! APOLLO MIGHT WIN!! DAMN!! Apollo stomps away!! Phelen Kell in deep
trouble early on!! Apollo tries an elbow drop!!! He misses!!! Kell is up!!!
He fires away with left and right hands!!!! Kell swings with a roundhouse!!!
BUT HE MISSES!!! APOLLO PICKS UP PHELEN KELL!!! THE RAY OF LIGHT!!! GORILLA
PRESS INTO A SPEAR!!! IT'S OVER!!! PHELEN KELL IS DONE! Wait whats that? Who
is that coming from the damn back? DON'T RUIN THIS WHOEVER YOU ARE!
GP: HERE COMES EVAN LEVINE!!! LEVINE HAS A SLEDGEHAMMER!!! DAMN, THIS GUY
MUST GO TO BED EVERY NIGHT WISHING HE WAS TRIPLE H!! HE CRACKS APOLLO IN THE
BACK OF THE SKULL WITH THE SLEDGEHAMMER!!! Good god Apollo just hit the floor
with a solid thud. He isn't moving! THE REFEREE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!!! KELL
GOES OVER TO APOLLO AND ROLLS HIM IN THE RING! HE FOLLOWS!!! KELL STANDS UP
GROGGY. THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS, KELL LOOKS DOWN AT APOLLO....HE GRABS HIS
LEGS! MALICIOUS INTENT LOCKED ON!!!! APOLLO CAN'T TAP OUT!!! HE'S OUT!!! THE
REFEREE RINGS THE BELL!!! KELL HAS ONE DOWN!
JT: DAMNIT!!! APOLLO HAD IT WON!!
GP: You may be right. The Ray of Light had Kell on his back for AT LEAST a 10
count. Evan Levine with the save on "The Legend". Who's coming out next?
Announcer: AND NOW, KELL'S NEXT OPPONENT.........DA BRONX BRO!!!
::Da Bronx Bro runs down the aisle and attacks Kell right off of the bat.::
SBW: Da Bro in and immediately starts pounding on Kell!!! He picks up Phelan
Kell!!! BRONXPLEX!!!! HIS PATENTED JACKHAMMER ON KELL'S INJURED BACK!!!! IT'S
OVER NOW!!! Da Bro
PHELEN ESCAPES BUT BARELY!!
JT: NO!!!!!! COME ON BRO!!! Phelen with a right! A left!! He doubles over Da
Bro!! Kell grabs him by the hair...headbutt! Into a DDT! And Da Bro goes
down. Kell with a pin.
GP: Kell is flabbergasted! He picks DBB up by the hair, he sets him up into
the air and down hard with a CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!!! Phelen now standing up and
pointing to the turnbuckle. The fans are loving it! He goes up top!!!! TOP
ROPE SPLASH!! HE ROLLS OFF AND RUNS OFF OF THE ROPES!!! ELBOW TO DA BRONX
BRO!!! PHELEN JUMPS UP AGAIN AND NAILS DA BRONX BRO WITH A LEGDROP!!! PHELEN
SOMERSAULTS OFF OF THE ROPES AND MISSES!!! DEAR GOD HE MISSES!!! Kell is in
furious pain now! Oh and DA BRONX BRO PICKS HIM UP!!! Backbreaker!! That son
of a bitch! Now as Kell stands up, Da Bronx Bro runs toward him and dropkicks
Phelen Kell to the mat!!!! He goes up to the top....KELLS UP!!! HE CROTCHES
DA BRONX BRO ON THE TOP ROPE!!! HE GOES UP TOP!! SETS HIM UP!!! STEEL RAIN!!!
TOP ROPE POWERBOMB!!! PHELEN KELL COVERS DA BRONX BRO!! HE MAY HAVE HIM! HE
COULD HAVE HIM! HE COULD HAVE HIM! HE COULD HAVE HIM!
1...... 2....... 3!!!!!
GP: KELL MOVES ON!!! WHO'S NEXT?
JT: Gee where have I heard that before?
GP: OH SHUT UP!
Announcer: HIS NEXT OPPONENT.......CHROME THUNDER!!!!
SBW: Chrome Thunder is running like a mad man out to the ring here! Whats
this though? OH! He's met by Harlequin with a chair to the face! But it
didn't phase him! He's looking at Harlequin! He is not looking happy! He has
Harlequin by the throat! He picks him up and OH GOD! He threw him onto the
metal stairs! Right on the edge of the metal stairs! Harlequin is down!
Chrome Thunder now turns his attention back to the ring, he slides in after a
willing and waiting Phelen Kell!
JT: Phelen Kell with an Irish Whip onto Chrome Thunder, he follows it in and
clotheslines him over the top rope! Chromey is on the floor and Phelen is
following him out now! He lifts Chrome up and gets a European Upper cut for
his troubles. Now Kell in trouble, Chrome is laying into him with chops to
the chest. He grabs Kell by the arm and throws him with force into the
guardrail! He hot shots him onto the guardrail, hangs him over it. THUNDER
CLIMBS THE RING APRON!!!
GP: Thunder comes off with a legdrop that nearly takes Kell's head off!! God
all mighty! Kell is down grabbing at his throat. Chrome doesn't quit though.
He has a chair! He sets it up and sits Kell in it. Chrome backs up and runs
in with a Lariot that flips Kell back over the chair! Phelen Kell is not
looking up to PAR right now let me tell you!
SBW: I couldn't have said it better myself Greg. Phelen is taking a big time
beating here. But he's still hanging on by a thread. Chrome lifts Phelen up
and is placing him on the time keepers table. Whats he doing? Thunder now,
going to the top rope! He leaps and comes down! OH WOWSERS! HE JUST SPEARED
HIMSELF AND KELL THROUGH THE TABLE! That is not the normal table! Thats a
smaller more compact one! And thats a real humdinger of a stinger!
JT: What the hell are you talking about you idiot?
SBW:...shoosh up JT.
JT: Ugh...why do I even bother?
GP: Chrome is the first back up, he grabs Kell and pulls him up to his feet
and rolls him back inside of the ring. Kell jumps to his feet as Thunder
comes in. Kell stomps on his face and begins kicking him in the side. Oh man
he's laying in to him. He picks him up into a Reverse Death Valley Driver.
Kell goes for a pin...
SBW: Phelen pulls Chrome Thunder to his feet again...he goes for OH! Thunder
reverses into a suplex! Chrome quickly to his feet begins pushing down upon
Kells throat with his boot! He picks him up, whips him off of the
He goes up top!!! Double axhandle... KELL ZAPS HIM WITH A LOW BLOW!!! HE
WRAPS HIM UP WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!!!!
GP: YES!!!! KELL WINS!!
JT: Maybe so, but he is in DEEP trouble. Look at him wincing and hanging on
the ropes for support....
Announcer: Phelen Kells next...and final opponent of the evening...BROTHER
SBW: Brother Al comes out....he circles Kell...this should be an excellent
scientific bout for sure. Al now comes in quick with a double leg takedown
to Kell, he bridges over it.
GP: Kell comes up quickly to his feet! He leaps up and over Brother Al with a
GP: Al leans forward.
GP: Kell bridges out of the pin!! Rolls Al through into the backslide!
1.... 2.... kickout!!!
GP: Al kicks Kell in the stomach!! Spikes him with a DDT!!
JT: COME ON DAMN IT! BEAT KELL! SOMEONE HAS TO BEAT KELL GOD DAMN IT!
SBW: Brother Al grabs Kell by the arm and shoots him into the ropes, Al
leapfrogs over Phelen and grabs his arm taking Kell to the mat with a thud!!
Al has the Fujiwara armbar locked on now! Kell manuevers and crawls to the
ropes quickly!! Al is quick to come back. He drives his knee into Kells side!
Another!!! Al drops down and applies a bow and arrow type hold to Phelen!!
Kell is SCREAMING in pain! Can he hold on? Can he do it? Can he? YES! Kell
reaches to the rope again!!! Brother Al breaks the hold. Kell jumps up back
to his feet and is met by a DROP KICK from Brother Al! All of these men are
putting on a fine show tonight!
GP: Al grabs Phelen and drags him in to the center of the ring Whats he
doing? HE APPLIES A FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!!!!! IT'S DEAD CENTER IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE RING!!! PHELEN KELL IS ONCE AGAIN SCREAMING IN PAIN!! HIS SHOULDERS
GP: KELL LIFTS ONE UP!!!! BROTHER AL CRANKING BACK WITH THE FIGURE FOUR!!!
PHELEN'S EYES ARE GLOSSING OVER!! HE MAY BE GOING OUT!!
SBW: THE REFEREE OVER TO CHECK KELL'S HAND!!! HE LIFTS IT ONCE!!! IT FALLS!!
LIFTS IT AGAIN!!! IT FALLS!!!! HE LIFTS IT A THIRD TIME!!! IT STAYS!! KELL
STILL IN IT!!! AL IS CRANKING FOR EVERYTHING IN HIM!!!! KELL'S SHOULDERS FALL
TO THE MAT AGAIN!!!!!!
GP: BROTHER AL HAS PULLED THE UPSET OF THE MILLENIUM!!! NO!!!! THE REFEREE
SAYS KELL GOT HIS SHOULDER UP AT ABOUT 2 AND 99/100!!! THE FANS ARE REALLY
CHANTING FOR KELL NOW!!!
JT: DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! AL ALMOST GOT HIM! COME ON YOU BITCH! KILL
KELL! KILL HIM!
JT: KELL SLOWLY GAINING MOMENTUM!! HE'S TRYING TO TURN IT.....HE DOES!!! HE
TURNED AL'S FIGURE FOUR OVER!! AL IMMEDIATELY RELEASES!!!! Kell hobbles back
up!!! So does Al! Kell kicks Al in the stomach!!! POWERBOMB!!! HE HOLDS HIM
IN A PINNING POSITION!!!!!
1.............. 2................ 3!!!!
SBW: HE GOT BROTHER AL!!!
JT: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! BROTHER AL DOMINATED PHELEN KELL!!!!
GP: YES HE DID!!! BUT KELL HAS ONE MORE TO GO THROUGH!!! HERE COMES......
GP: G-Dogg runs out!!! He looks at Kell who is unconcious on the mat! This is
an easy win for G-Dogg! This is it! Kell is through! He will never again hold
the IWO World title! The title is so strived for! The thing that kept him
going through all the tough times! G-Dogg now.....LIES DOWN?! G-DOGG IS
LYING DOWN!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE KELLS LIFE WORK DESTROYED!!! I'M
SHOCKED! SO ARE THE FANS! G-Dogg places Kells arm on his chest!
GP: CHAIRMAN DANE PULLED THE REFEREE OUT!!! THE REF CALLS FOR THE BELL!!!!
Chairman Dane and JT both: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: YOUR WINNER, "THE LEGEND"................... PHEEEEELEEEEN
SBW: CHAIRMAN DANE IS HOT! HE'S RIPPING HIS HAIR OUT! HE HAS A MICROPHONE!!
Chairman Dane: Okay..I don't know WHAT THE HELL is going on...but I AM
ANGRY...you two are going to pay....
GP: This is decidedly not good....here comes the Beverly Hills Bruisers!!!
Evan Levine! The Raging One! Dan Hopkins!! They're going to annihilate G-Dogg
and Kell!!! Chairman Dane has commanded these men to do his dirty work!
.........THE LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT!!!
Voice: Chairman Dane........you have no right to try to kill Kell's career..
SBW: That's Capital Punishment's voice!
JT: WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING!!!
Capital Punishment: YOU SEE........WE'RE NOT THE ENEMY........WE'RE JUST THE
PRISONERS OF SOCIETY.........SOCIETY.........SOCIETY........SOCIETY.....
JT: THE LIGHTS ARE BACK ON!!!! PUNISHMENT AND G-DOGG ARE BEHIND EVERYONE!!!!
Capital Punishment spins Michael Dudley around! Death Penalty!!!
G-Dogg grabs Brian!! Dogg Drop DDT!!!!! Punishment shoots in Evan Levine!
TOSSES HIM UP!!! 3D!!! DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!! PUNISHMENT PICKS UP THE RAGING
ONE!!!!! SPINEBUSTER POWERBOMB!!! G-DOGG DOGGINATES THE GOOD BOY!!! Kell is
GP: DANE SENT OUT SOME MORE TAG TEAMS TO FIGHT THE PRISONERS!! HERE COMES ERA
OF OUR KIND!!! THE PREP KIDS!! THE PRIME TIME SOLDIERS!!! ERA OF OUR KIND AND
THE PREPPIES FIGHTING EACH OTHER!!! STONE GETS CLOTHESLINED OVER THE TOP BY
CAPPY!!!! G-DOGG TO THE TOP ROPE!! TYLER JOHNSON PICKED UP IN POWERBOMB
POSITION!!! CAPPY POWERBOMBS HIM RIGHT INTO A G-DOGG ELBOW!! THE POINT OF NO
SBW: THE PREP KIDS AND ERA OF OUR KIND FIGHTING UP THE RAMP!!! TIME WARP BY
THE ERA ON MCCLOUD!!! IN THE RING, STONE BEING PICKED UP FOR A POWERBOMB BY
CAPPY!!!! G-DOGG UP TOP AGAIN!!!! THE POINT OF-- NO!!!!! G-DOGG SOMERSAULT
STUNNED SCOTT STONE OFF OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT'S SHOULDERS!!!! THAT IS THE END
OF ETERNITY!! THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HAVE BEEN LEFT LAYING!! CAPPY HAS
Capital Punishment: Sorry Dane!!! But WE RUN THIS SHOW NOW!!! With the End of
Eternity, and the Point of No Return.........WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE!!!
G-Dogg: I hate to tell you this Dane, but I AM THE WHOLE F.U.C.K.ING SHOW!!
AND COME HOSTILE TAKEOVER NEXT WEEK, THE PRISONERS OF SOCIETY WILL TRULY BE
THE ONLY REASON TO WATCH!!!
GP: Harlequin is coming back down to help his friend Phelan out of the
ring...wait....NO!!!! NO!!! NO!!!! PUNISHMENT WITH THE DEATH PENALTY ON
HARLEQUIN!!!!! G-DOGG GETS A TABLE OUT FROM UNDER THE RING!!! HE SLIDES IT
IN!! PUNISHMENT STANDING ON THE TABLE WITH HARLEQUIN!! G-DOGG UP TOP!!!!
SPIKE PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE!! DAMN THEM!!! DAMN THEM TO HELL!!! IWO
SUPERSTARS PULLING PHELEN KELL OUT OF THE RING BEFORE THOSE MANIACS ATTACK
HIM TOO!! PHELEN MAY BE DONE! HE MAY NEED SURGERY!!! AND THIS THING IS OVER!!
FOR STINKEY B. WIZZLECHEEKS AND JT, I'M GREG PARKER! GOOD--
Capital Punishment: DON'T CUT THE CAMERA YET!! IWO, WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SEEN
IS YOUR FUTURE! YOU SEE, WE'RE NOT THE ENEMY.....
Capital Punishment & G-Dogg: WE'RE JUST THE PRISONERS OF SOCIETY!!!!!!!!
[Unable to display image]
Live from Atlanta, Ga
The family wrestling show
Mini Me Match
World Tag Team Championship
The Prep Kids vs. The Prime Time Soldiers vs. Era Of Our Kind vs.
Prisnors of Soceity
This one should be a classic. All teams, a ref, a camera man, and a few
security officers will be shrunk down to the size of an ant and will do
battle in Chairman Dane's mansion live via satellite. This will be
elimination style...once a member is eliminate the security will escort them
to a sealed off area where they will be force to stay till the match ends.
Last man standing and his partner will be the winners. Anything goes!
Stips To Be Announced
Michael Dudley vs. Chris Davidson
These two have a bit of real life heat going on. This should be good for the
both of em'.
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead