:Before the promo ever comes on a scene opens and it's in the Billion
Promotions limo. Dane Wilt, Brian Dudley, Michael Dudley, and Apollo
sitting in it drinking beers.::
Brian:So Dane you gonna beat Davis tonight for the world title?
Dane:Hell yeah! Like I said...last week I beat Zombie...he's twice the
wrestler Davis is...I'm gonna fuck him up sooooooo bad!
Michael:Kick ass...bring the cold back to BDP brah!
Apollo:I can't believe Chairman Dane suspended me for two fucking
Michael:Yeah I know...
::Suddenly the limo turns off into a parking lot.::
Dane:Hey driver....where the fuck are we going? I mean come on we gotta
to the arena!
::Suddenly you hear the car doors lock and the front door opens as the
Brian:What the fuck?
Michael:Shit we're locked in!
::Suddenly two trucks slame into each side of the limo. The camera
grey and the scene bellow begins.::
::The scene opens and you see Chairman Dane and his two censors
and Jimmy Hart all dressed in tuxedos. They are outside the Beverly
Arena and are awaiting something. Suddenly a limos pulls up with the
logo on the hood. Chairman Dane walks over and opens the door and out
4 men all wearing suits and Micky Mouse hats step out.::
Earthquake:JIMMY! IT'S MICKY MOUST!!!!! JIMMY IT'S WEALLY HIM! JIMMY!
Jimmy:No baby...it's the Disney executives wearing Micky Mouse ears.
C.Dane:Shhhhhhh! Hello gentlemen welcome to the IWO the family
Executive 1:Hello Chairman Dane...so I've been told that this is good
wholesome family entertainment?
C.Dane:That would be correct sir....I've done my darnest to make sure
Executive 2:Excellent...cause wrestling is red hot right now and Disney
love to cash into a nice wholesome company.
Earthquake:MY POOP SMELLS LIKE TUNA!
Executive 3:What did you just say?
Jimmy:HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING...ummm...sir.
Executive 4:Alright...it must have been the wind then.
C.Dane:Come on in guys!
::Scene cuts to the Hostile Takeover logo...it flashes once...then
again. It then appears on the screen and "Rocket Man" by Elton John
play. It shows clips from last week such as Zombie rolling Psycho Jay
John McRae for the North American title. Zombie laying out memebers of
Billion Dollar Promotion. And closes with High Flyer beating ?¿? in
Bowl 2 match. It ends as fire works shoot off and the camera pans down
the announce position. Greg Parker (GP), JT, and Stinky B.
(SBW). They do the traditional yelling.::
GP:WELCOME TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!
JT:WELCOME TO BEVERLY HILLS CA! HOMETOWN OF THE IWO GREATS THE BEVERLY
SBW:THE DISNEY EXECUTIVES ARE HERE! WE'RE GONNA BE GOING TO DISNEY
JT:Really? Think their listening right now?
SBW:I BET YA THEY ARE!
JT:Then I better be careful what the fuck my shit fucking says huh dick
SBW:HEYYYY! DON'T RUIN THIS JT!
GP:Guys! Tonight we have the World Title on the line!
JT:YES! DANE WILT IS GONNA BRING THE WORLD TITLE BACK TO THE BILLION
PROMOTION AND BE A TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION!
GP:Dane Wilt earned the right to get a shot at the IWO World Title
was able to defeat Zombie. So as of right now Dane Wilt is the #1
for the IWO World Title!
SBW:Uh-Oh...their not gonna have another Pea Soup First Gallon of Blood
Chainsaw Death Match! That was sickening! It is suspected to have cause
death of 4 men!
GP:Folks tonight we also have a mixed tag team match up between Billy
and Summer against Brian Dudley and Caren Dudley of the Beverly Hills
JT:PUPPIES! PUPPIES! AHAHHAHAHAHA!
SBW:Alright their Jerry Lawler...
JT:Shut your mouth!
GP:And let's not forget the grudge tag team match between Rob Kestler
Psycho Jay vs. John Wade and John "Vampyre" McRae! That one is gonna be
SBW:Well GP John Wad and John McRae have to things in common...they're
named John and they both HATE Psycho Jay!
JT:And that's exactley why they are going to lose...Rob Kestler and
Jay are a well oiled machine they both know eachother well and are in
same stable. This one is gonna be great!
GP:Well folks we're gonna take our first commercial break...when we
we're gonna have our first match up, vs. Apollo!
GP:JT, tonight we have going up against Apollo from the Billion Dollar
JT:You know what, I always liked the BDP.
GP:Why do you say that? Because they are an interfed stable? Because
been along for so long?
JT:No, I just believe that they finally put Summer in her place, in the
auction pool! Too bad I didn't win it!
SBW:You are one sick human beign JT.
SBW:You know the Disney Executives are here, and I'm sure that they
to hear you... you... well, I'm not even going to repeat what was just
JT:Why, because you have your head so far up Chairman Dane's ass that
what he sees?
JT:Come on Skanky, we all know it.
SBW:It's Stinky! Jeez! Ever since that High Flyer interview, no one can
me by my actual name! It's Skanky that, Skunky that, sticky this! I'm
it! Listen JT! If you don't get my name right....
("I am God" by Kid Rock comes on as Stinkey is interrupted, not to his
makes his way to the ring and slides in.)
RA:Welcome to Monday Night Meltdown! Introducing first, from parts
and weighing in at 235 pounds, we have !
("Hate Me Now" by Nas plays over the pa system as out from the back
Apollo, being followed by Evan Levine. Apollo gets into the ring, and
RA:And his opponent, weighing in at 283 and hailing from The moon! I
it's not listed on these card! He is accopanied to the ring by fellow
Dollar Promotion Member, Even Levine, Here is Apollo!
*Ding, ding, ding*
GP:And there's the bell...
JT:I don't think the death are watching, so you don't have to say that.
SBW:Evan Levine just haned Apollo a chain! The referee never saw it! He
decked right in the face with it right from the start!
JT:What are you talking about Stinky! All I saw is Apollo take off 's
with a huge right hand! I didn't see any exchange!
SBW:Of course you never did, you're JT, the man who sees and hears all.
JT:Well... I wish I could see all... like... Nikki...
(Nikki comes down to the ring and slaps JT in the face. She runs back
JT:Well, at least I got to see her run...
GP:Apollo has a quick cover on , 1-2-NO! Kickout by ! Apollo can't even
believe that! Apollo grabs and throws him over the top, right into the
awaiting hands of Evan Levine. Apollo distracts the referee as Levine
lays it in with boot shots to the back of .
SBW:Levine is just going to town on ! Levine grabs and throws him into
SBW(Ignoring JT):Apollo goes to work on now in the corner, as he
in. Apollo kicks him in the gut a couple of times, and then brings him
with a huge back body drop. was charging at Apollo out of the corner.
SBW(Still ignoring JT):Apollo grabs and throws him off the ropes.
back as Apollo nails him with a HUGE spinebuster slam. Apollo goes over
corner, and comes out, nailing with a dropping elbow.
JT:Come on Sweatie, I know you can hear me!
(JT just starts calling Skunky repetitivly, and monotonous to SBW.)
SBW:(STILL Ignoring JT) Apollo locks into a headlock and drags him
SBW:WHAT! WHAT THE HELL IS IT JT!
JT:Match's over there! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GP:You did the best you could. Nobody could ignore JT for as long as
has out of the headlock, off the ropes, diving elbow into the face of
Apollo! Apollo goes down fast, as goes off the ropes again. He goes
quick leg drop, but Apollo moves. Apollo pushes down and covers him,
Kickout by Apollo up, but hits him in the gut with a couple of rights
JT:SWINGING NECKBREAKER BY !
SBW:You little pig.... grabs Apollo now, and throws him into the
hits him with a couple rights, and now monkey flips him out of the
is in firm control. grabs Apollo, but look! Evan Levine just tripped
falls down to the mat as Apollo can gain control!
GP:And the referee never saw it! Apollo gras , and picks him up for a
powerbomb, but turns it into a hotshot! 's neck is hurting...
GP:Evan Levine just slide in a chair! He's going over to the referee!
is going for the chair....
SBW:THOSE ARE THE DISNEY EXECUTIVES! They are coming down to the
JT:They just put one of those Mickey Mouse hats on presidential hopeful
Gore! Gore doesn't know what happened! Apollo is watching in mystery.
GP: grabs the chair from Apollo's hands, Apollo turns around, HE EATS
STEEL! Down goes Apollo. throws the chair out of the ring, as Gore is
yelling at the Disney Executives. Cover by , referee turns around and
slides.... 1-2-3! AND WINS!
SBW: just won because of the Disney Executives! They just put a little
hat on Gore! I don't get why he was going crazy over there on the
::Scene cuts after the match and you see the sky box where Chairman
Jimmy Hart, Earthquake, and the Disney Executives are watching the
C.Dane:So what you think guys?
Executive 1:To be honest it was a bit boring...
Executive 2:Yeah I hope the rest of your talent is a bit better off
C.Dane:Oh well our next match features Phelen Kell and Earthquake here!
are both extremely talented young stars around here.
Earthquake:I'M GONNA SIT ON PHLEM KILLER'S FACE!
Executive 3:Oh well then this should be good...
C.Dane: Make sure the match looks good and is
Executive 4:Well get out there let's see what ya got!
By Executive Order
Earthquake vs. Phelen Kell
GP:Well the following match is...gonna be interesting.
JT:AHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I haven't seen Earthquake wrestle for years!
SBW:Wasn't he the young man who used to carry around a Cartman doll and
a leather mask?
GP:Well anyways folks Phelen Kell is arguabley the best wrestler ever
IWO...and Earthquake is well...not. For those of you who don't remember
Earthquake he was best known for his feud with Hulk Hogan in WWF. And
his feud with...Hulk Hogan in WCW. Anyways let's go down to the
have no idea what to tell ya.
Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen the following match is set for one
and is signed by executive order from Chairman Dane. Introduceing
first...weighing in at a healthy...ummmm around 370 give or take....the
master of the butt drop...accompanied to the ring by the 'Mouth of the
Jimmy Hart here is EARTHQUAKE!
::His old WWF theme music begeins to play as he comes out on the ramp.
as always has an airbrushed Earthquake jacket on and is jumping up and
for no apparent reason. Earthquake is wearing his normal blue
attire and is jumping up and down as well. They enter the ring and
Earthquake begins jumping all over the place to make the ring shake.::
Ring Announcer:And his opponent...he is the legend of the
at 255 pounds...the master of the Steel Rain powerbomb...accompanied by
manager Harlequin...PHELEN KELL!
::"Sober" by Tool begins to suddenly play as Phelen Kell's video
the IWO Tit-tron. Fans are cheering wildly and chanting "fucking
however still no Kell. Suddenly Sober stops and Hulk Hogans old WWF
music (now Brisco and Patterson's music) begins to play. Phelen walks
wearing a "Hulkamania" tank top, a "Hulkster" bandana, yello boots, and
pair of yellow tights. The fans are giveing this a huge pop as Kell
to flex on the entrance way. Harlequin follows him dressed in his
Earthquake:JIMMY! IT'S HOGAN! JIMMY I'M GONNA LOSE! JIMMY! JIMMY! SAVE
::Earthquake jumps out of the ring and is pushing Jimmy Hart in front
Phelen is in the ring flexing and doing the Hogan ear taunt. He then
off his tank top as the crowd is going totally nuts.::
GP:ONLY IN THE IWO FOLKS! EARTHQUAKE IS NOW CRYING!
Earthquake:JIMMY! JIMMY! JIMMY HELP!
Jimmy:Baby it's just Phlem Killer...it's not really Hogan!
GP:Harlequin out of nowhere nails Jimmy in the head with a chair Jimmy
is out cold! Harlequin rolls Earthquake in the ring!
GP:OH GOD! BIG BOOT TO EARTHQUAKES FACE! HE NAILED HIM WITH THAT SIZE
QUAKE IS NOW CRYING ON THE GROUND! KELL OFF THE ROPES....BIG LEG DROP!
JT:1.....2......3! Wow that was quick we might have a new record!
Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen your winner Phelen Kell!
::"Sober" by Tool begins to play again as Kell and Harlequin leave the
to the cheers of the crowd. Earthquake is in the middle of the ring
Jimmy:Ouch! JIMMY'S HEAD HURTS NOW BABY!
Earthquake:I pooped my pants!
Jimmy:GOD DAMN IT BABY!
Earthquake:CLEAN MY ASS!
Jimmy:CLEAN YOUR OWN SHIT YOU FAT BITCH!
::Scene cuts to the sky box where Dane and the Disney Executives are
Executive 1:Is this the type of company you run Dane?
C.Dane:Uhhhh no sir...infact as of right now they're fired!
Executive 2:This doesn't seem to be family entertainment Dane....you
start impressing us or we'll have to try to get WCW again like the old
C.Dane:Oh please no that show was awful! Alright I'm sure our next
between...a returning Fugite and CyberCyclone will be better! I
Executive 3:It better be cause to be honest as of right now this looks
smutty then the WWF...
C.Dane:Oh it will be fine don't worry.
Fugite is back!
Fugite vs. CyberCyclone
GP: Up next we have Fugite's Return match. If you remember correctly
fans, Fugite was injured during a triple threat extreme jail cell
SBW: Oh great, this should be a great match...
JT: Yeah really, no breasts...
GP: Oh come on, both of these men are former extreme champions...
should turn out to be a good match
JT: You hope...
** "Unforgiven" by Metallica plays as Fugite comes to the ring **
Ring Announcer: Now entering the ring weighing in at 286 lbs, standing
6' 6", Fugite...
** "Are you Ready" by Creed plays as CyberCylone comes to the ring.."
Ring Announcer: Now entering the ring weighing in at 265, standing 6'
SBW: Both men starting it off... szzzz... now... snzzz...
JT: Ew.. he's drooling on me... Get him off!!!
GP: Fugite in control from the starting blocks.. Fugite with forearm
shots to the head.. One, two, three, four... CyberCyclone is on the
JT: CyberCylone getting up now forearms back to Fugite... Fugite
back spinning wheel kick to CC's head... Fugite come with a spinning
SBW: What? Cover? 1.... snzzzz
GP: Kick out on two there... although SBW forgot the two...
JT: CyberCyclone off the ropes now... Clothesline to Fugite, who had
back turned... Fugite should be paying attention... Otherwise..
CyberCyclone might actually win a match! Hahaa!
GP: CyberCyclone with an Irish whip to the corner.. I think he might
going for the CyberCityDDT.. Yesh, he is!
JT: He's got it...
SBW: Cover? What? 1... snzz... 2.... snzzz
GP: KICK out? How in the world? A kick out?
JT: Yes, Greg... a kick out... And CyberCyclone can't believe it...
He's gonna try it again...
GP:: Fugite reverses the whip... DDT! Fugite with a DDT! Fugite's
again... Fugite with a inverted reverse DDT... I think that's the
calls the Time's Arrow.. One of his two unique moves, we haven't seen
according to Fugite...
JT: I think here is the other one!! Fisherman's DDT!! Yes!!! Go
the KO!!! And that would be called the... uh... the um... oh who
but its pretty sweet!
GP: I think it's called the Chronoplex... Fugite now with a series of
quick elbow drops to CyberCyclone
JT: Yah whatever... SBW I though you said this was gonna be a
Fugite's kicking some ass!
SBW: What? snzz... What? Fugite's got a nice ass?
GP: Fugite taunting CC...
Fugite: Here it is! Your time is up!
SBW: Snz... what's going on? Timebump?
JT: No that's Fugite, calling for what I believe is gonna be pretty
sweet... Minus the fact that there are no breasts involved
SBW: Snz.... Breasts? Where... [drooling] sweet velumptious
GP: Fugite with his finisher the lost time! Cover 1......
GP: Fugite with a microphone...
Fugite: CyberCyclone, you are the first example! There will be more
::The ring finally is cleared of all wrestlers and "Money" by KMFDM
play. Out walks a battered and beaten Billion Dollar Promotion all
Evan Levine. Their clothes are torn some of them have cuts. They come
the ring as the crowd boos them. Dane calls for a mic...as he talks
see the blood dripping out of the corner of his mouth.::
Dane:Alright I'm sure you all saw the cowardless act that took place
What are you cheering for? Don't you realize we could
been KILLED! fuckers....DIE
DIE"> Dane...you fans make me sick! This is a homecoming for the
Bruisers and this is how you treat us? We used to own this town!
boos>Alright fine! I've got the shits of this...Evan Levine...I know
the one responsible for this....get the fuck out here now!
::"The kids aren't alright" by Offspring begins to play as Evan Levine
out. He has a mic and fearlessly enters the ring.::
Dane:Alright Evan...explain yourself now before I personally beat the
out of ya.
Evan:Dane...you know for a fact that my grandmother is sick and in the
hospital...I told you I was gonna be late.
Dane:Horse shit! That's sooooo fucking weak!
Evan:Seriously dude...she hasn't been looking good latley...why I think
might only have a few weeks with her. I'm not kidding man!
Dane:Alright get the hell out of here...I don't know if your telling
truth or not...but as of now I don't want you to be NEAR us!
::"The kids aren't Alright" by Offspring plays again as Evan leaves the
Brian:Dane fuck this man...I don't wanna stand out here..infront of my
hometown who have the nerve to boo me!
Michael:They obviously don't know talent when they see it brother!
Dane:Well fuck this guys I wanna get ready for my match awhile...
::Suddenly the lights go off the crowd begins to scream not knowing
going on...suddenly they flash back on and no one is anywhere near the
but Michael Dudley is laying on the ring unconcious with a pool of
around him. The Billion Dollar Promotion are freaking out and leave
as Apollo carrys him.::
Tag Team Action
The Prep Kids(Jordan Howitt and Randall McCloud vs. The Foreign
Legion(Brother Al and Crazy Canuck)
This challenge was made by TPK last HT. Chairman Dane has decided that
The Foreign Legion win they will be the World Tag Team Championship #1
contenders and will receive a shot within the next month. If TPK wins
will have bragging rights.
GP: We're back and we've got some hot tag team action coming up next!
JT: Hot tag team action? How we gonna have that without Nikki here?
(Just then Nikki comes running down the ramp and slaps JT. She then
JT: Damn, that sucked.
Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks: Well you deserved that, Chairman Dane and the
Executives don't want that kind of language being fed to our children.
JT: Do you suck dick?
Stinky: WHAT! How dare you!
GP: Settle down guys, we're about to get started.
JT: I'm gonna go with.....hey hold on, who's in this match again?
GP: It's the Prep Kids vs. The Foreign Legion in this epic tag team
JT: Epic? Both of these teams suck!
Stinky: Hey, the Prep Kids are the World Tag Team Champions, they
JT: That doesn't mean anything, the entire tag team division sucks!
Stinky: You aren't very open-minded are you?
JT: You aren't very straight are you?
GP: Guys, enough. Let's go to ring.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a
tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a
weight of 502 pounds, Brother Al and Crazy Canuck.........THE FOREIGN
("The British National Anthem" starts up as Brother Al and Crazy Canuck
onto the entrance ramp. The music then changes to "Fire, Water,
roof is on fire)" by The Bloodhound Gang blasts as they walk down to
Rign Announcer: And their opponents, they are the IWO WORLD TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS!!! At a combined weight of 396 pounds, they are Jordan
Randal McCloud........THE PREP KIDS!!!!!!!
("One Man Army: McCloud Edit" by Our Lady Peace plays as The Prep Kids
their way towards the ring.)
JT: Well, although both teams suck, I've decided on who is gonna win.
GP: Who's that?
JT: The Foreign Legion because anyone that would have an Our Lady
as their entrance music needs to be shot in the face at point blank
Stinky: Hey, that's not a good image for young children and I happen
Our Lady Peace.
JT: Have you ever seen them live?
JT: Well they fucking suck!
Stinky: Watch your language, you don't want Earthquake after you next
JT: Oh, that's real scary.
GP: Now it looks like we gonna start things off civilized for once.
be Jordan Howitt and Brother Al to start things off. They lock up.
Al throws the smaller Howitt into the corner. Al follows in but is met
a boot to the face! Al stumbles backwards and gets nailed with a
bulldog from Howitt. Howitt picks up Al and sends him to the ropes,
dropkick! Al rolls over to his corner and tags in Crazy Canuck!
Stinky: Crazy Canuck seems rather fresh.
JT: That's cause he hasn't been in yet you friggin idiot!
Stinky: Oh yeah.
JT: Can we get rid of this jackass Parker?
GP: No, he's got a contract.
GP: Now Crazy Canuck and Howitt are going shot for shot. Canuck whips
Howitt to the ropes and sends him flying him with a big hip toss.
gets back up and is taken down by a clothesline from Canuck. Canuck
him to his feet and drops him with a t-bone suplex. Howitt tags in
McCloud! McCloud runs in and it met with a shoulder block from Crazy
Canuck whips McCloud to the ropes and goes for a back body drop, but
reverses it into a spinning neckbreaker!
Stinky: That was a nice......um.......thing.
JT: It was a neckbreaker, Parker even said what it was Slippery.
Stinky: It's Stinky! STINKY B. WIZZLECHEEKS!
GP: Yeah we know. McCloud is going up top. He jumps off and nails
with a flying axhandle smash! Canuck falls back into the turnbuckle
McCloud runs in with a splash! Canuck falls flat on his face and
slap on an ankle lock submission hold!
Stinky: That's pretty nifty, but can't Crazy Canuck just roll over to
JT: Oh my god! That's the first valdi point you've ever said Stumpy!
you still need to shut the hell up!
GP: Canuck is reaching for the tag from Brother Al, but Canuck drags
back to the center of the ring. The ref is asking Canuck to tap!
if Foreign Legion wins they get title shots!
Stinky: I don't believe Crazy Canuck would tap out then.
JT: No shit!
Stinky: I'm telling Chairman Dane.
JT: Go ahead dick.
GP: Canuck is starting to pass out from the pain. Here comes Brother
He stomps McCloud to break the hold. The ref admonishes Brother Al and
comes Howitt! He and McCloud send Canuck to the ropes and nails him
double face slam! Howitt bails out of the ring and McCloud covers,
1.................2...................KICKOUT! McCloud picks up Canuck
tags in Jordan. They send Canuck to the ropes, CANUCK WITH A DOUBLE
They went for a back body drop, but telegraphed it and Canuck caught
Now Canuck is heading up top!
JT: What the hell is he going up there for?
Stinky: Yes, he should make a tag.
JT: No, he should climb up to the fucking rafters and jump on them.
GP: Canuck comes off the top ropes with a FLYING CROSS BODY BLOCK onto
Prep Kids! Now Canuck makes the tag! Brother Al is in! He
McCloud out of the ring. Canuck is going up top again, Brother Al
Howitt up onto his shoulders! Canuck leaps off the top ROPES AND NAILS
HOWITT WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK! WHAT A MOVE!
JT: That was awesome!
GP: The cover, 1................2..........................SHOULDER UP!
my, he got the shoulder up at the last second!
Stinky: It looked like a three count to me.
JT: Go fuck yourself.
Stinky: I'm adding that to the list.
JT: Of what?
Stinky: List of bad things you say.
JT: You queer.
GP: Now McCloud's back in the ring and all four men are going at it!
we go, I knew this one wouldn't stay legal.
JT: So what? I just wanna see some friggin blood!
GP: Remember the legal men are Jordan Howitt and Brother Al! And
are going at it while Canuck and McCloud have just tumbled outside of
ring and are rumbling on the floor! Howitt tries to whip Al to the
but Brother Al reverses it and catches him with a powerslam, the cover,
Stinky: He barely kicked out!
JT: No shit, but nobody ever wins with a powerbomb.
GP: Yes, that is very rare. Now Al picks up Howitt and goes for a
powerbomb, Howitt reverses it into a hurricanrana! He hooks the legs,
1....................2.....................KICKOUT! Now Howitt it up
nails Brother Al with a superkick! He covers again!
1...................2....................KICKOUT! That was close.
JT: Damn straight it was.
GP: Howitt is going up top! He leaps off and nails Brother Al with a
guillatine leg drop! Now McCloud just threw a chair into the ring!
didn't see it and McCloud jumps onto the apron to distract him. Howitt
the chair and goes to hit Al, but Canuck comes in from the other side
blows Howitt! Canuck grabs the chair and smashes Howitt over the head
it! Brother Al slaps on the FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! Canuck is going up
Here it comes, DECLARATION OF WAR(knee drop onto the figure four)!
still in the figure four, the ref turns around and asks Howitt to give
but Howitt isn't responding. MCCLOUD OFF THE TOP WITH AN ELBOW SMASH
BROTHER AL! THAT BROKE THE HOLD AND THE REF DOESN'T CALL FOR THE BELL!
MCCLOUD GRABS THE CHAIR AND BLASTS CANUCK WITH IT!
JT: No, Canuck and McCloud ain't the legal men!
GP: Some refs may call for the DQ there, but not in the IWO! Now
Al takes the chair from McCloud. McCloud starts to back off. HOWITT IS
UP! HOWITT DROPKICKS BROTHER AL IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! AL DROPS THE
AND FALLS TOWARDS RANDAL MCCLOUD! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! ELBOW TO THE
FROM HOWITT! THE AMERICAN DREAM! HOWITT COVERS,
JT:McCloud comes in and him and Cannuck are brawling once again...the
trying to break them up cause Cannuck isn't the legal man...Howitt is
picks brother Al up...whips him into the ropes Al leap frogs him and
the way back...wait as he rolled he picked up a chair? What an
GP:Al is off the other side and SMACK! Nails Howitt with the steel
Yeah and he claims he's not extreme! He tossess the chair out of the
ring...and locks on his Figure Four leg lock! Howitt is going nuts! He
doesn't wanna tap but he might have to...
SBW:Cannuck launched McCloud out of the ring and runs over and nails
with a leg drop and is out of the ring...
GP:WAIT A SEC THE REF TURNS AROUND...HOWITT'S SHOULDERS ARE ON THE
MAT....1......2......3! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! WHAT AN UPSET!
JT:AHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Noooooo way! Way to go Foreign Legion!
GP:Well they've now earned a shot...I must say that even I'm a bit
surprised...the Foreign Legion have become the #1 contenders for the
World Tag Team titles.
::Scene cuts to Psycho Jay's locker room. You see a huge box carried
the door whoever carrys it knocks and then runs off.::
Psycho Jay:Geez...it get's more pathetic each week...
::Psycho Jay punches through the box...and his arm goes the entire way
Psycho Jay:Hmmmmmm....I wonder if I...
::The box suddenly busts open again from the bottom and Mini-Dane comes
running out. He bites Psycho Jay's nuts and Jay goes down hard.::
Psycho Jay:Ouch! Get this little bastard off me!
Vincent:What the fuck is going on fucking out their mother fucker?
Psycho Jay:OUCH! IT'S THAT STUPID MINI-DANE IT'S BITEING MY BOYS!
Vincent:Here let me fucking help you and get that little fuck off your
::As Vincent walks to the door Brian and Michael Dudley run by club
in the head with a 9 iron stuff him in a leather bag and run off.
is squirming trying to get free...he eventually just punches Mini Dane
face. Mini-Dane falls and Psycho Jay breaks him in two over his
Psycho Jay:Get back here you mother fuckers!
::Jay runs down the hall way and bumps into High Flyer.::
Psycho Jay:Get out of my fucking way you fucking jobber!
Flyer:Fuck you man....
Psycho Jay:Can't wait to kick your pussy ass at the PPV...
::Psycho Jay turns and keeps running...High Flyer runs up and forearms
the back of the head. High Flyer then grabs him and throws him head
into a brick wall and grabs a garbage can and starts beating Jay with
Flyer picks him up Jay and nails him with a jumping Tornado DDT on the
Flyer:Your my bitch come Sunday!
Grudge Tag Match
Psycho Jay and Rob Kestler vs. John "Vampyre" McRae
and John Wade
McRae and Wade have little in common, the only thing
that they have in
would be a hate for Psycho Jay. Psycho Jay certainly
feels the same
them...and Rob Kestler is thrown into the mix more or
less to keep
JT: Now this match is one I'm looking forward too!
::GP and SBW are stunned.::
GP: Why? Whose in it that you like so much??
JT: Psycho Jay.
SBW: Now JT, before this match begins, I'd like your
word of honor that you won't swear! The Disney
Executives are here and I want to make a good
impression SO BADLY. As you know, my childhood dream
was to work for Disney.
JT: You know what Skuny..
JT: ... I dont really care about your childhood dream!
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CHILDHOOD DREAM.. SHINE IT UP REAL
NICE.. AND STICK IT UP YOUR CANDY ASS! YOU FAGGIT!
SBW: COME ON JT, PLEASE PROMISE TO BEHAVE!
JT: *whiny bitch voice* PLLEEAAASSSEE JT. F*CK YOU
SBW: AWWW MAN! Maybe the Disney people will still hire
me once they see how hard I try to keep JT in line..
but he's just such a ruffian!
GP: Tag team action coming up guys, let's just get to
the damn match.
SBW: GP, YOU SAID DAMN!
GP: You know what Spanky, I don't really care.
SBW: NO GP! NOW YOU!? WHY?
::GP rolls his eyes. JT blasts SBW with a thunderous
JT: Now know your place, bitch.
::"Smooth Operator" begins::
Ring Announcer: The following tag team contest is
scheduled for one fall! Introducing first.. standing
at 6'4" and weighing in a 245 pounds.. the man who
will give you death by Natural Causes.. he is "THE
NATURAL" JOHN WAAAAAAAADDDDEEEE!
::John Wade comes out. Some fans boo him, others cheer
him. John Wade seems to not really give an ape shit
what the fans think. "Mouth" by Bush begins.::
Ring Announcer: His partner... standing at 6'5",
weighing 289 pounds.. the master of the Heart Peircing
Stake.. The IWO Television Champion.. JOHN "VAMPYRE"
McRAE/SEAN "VAMPRESS" McRAE!
::The Split One comes out to a pop from the fans. He
gets in the ring to discuss strategy with John Wade.::
JT: HA! There is NO WAY these two will co-exist, they
don't even LIKE eachother!
::"Freak on a leash" by Korn starts to play::
Ring Announcer: Their opponenets.. introducing
first... weighing in at 313 pounds and standing at the
towering height of 6'6.. the master of the Call from
Beyond and the man who likes to see Mae Young naked...
::Rob Kestler comes out. Shit, the fans don't like him
or hate him.::
GP: Next we have JT's favorite...
JT: WOO HOO! JAY!
::"Divine" by Korn starts to play::
Ring Annonucer: HIS PARTNER... standing at six feet,
eight inches.. weighing over three hundred and twenty
pounds.. the IWO North American Champion... he is the
monster known as PSYCHOOOOOOO JAAAAAYYYYYYY!
:Jay comes out. The fans don't like him. Jay gives a
fan the finger and takes his "Phelen Kell" sign. Jay
whipes his ass with the fans sign and then gets in the
JT: HA! JAY RULES!
GP: It looks like John Wade and Psycho Jay are going
to start.. no, wait, McRae wants some of Jay, NOW!
He's pushing Wade.. they've decided to rock, scissors,
paper for it.. McRae goes Rock.. Wade goes.. PAPER!
JT: This match is already so intense, eh GP?
GP: (nodding and sweating)
SBW: I hope for our job's sake that JT keeps his mouth
GP: Wade comes across the ring and starts beating Jay
down. Jay was facing Kestler, he never saw the attack!
Jay goes into the corner and the Natural lays in the
stomps across the chest of the NA champ. Now Wade
pulls Jay up by the hair and starts hammering away
with right hands.. so far this is just a brawl fans..
now Wade with a headlock takedown sends Jay to the mat
with a crash. John Wade is in total control here fans
and he's strutting his stuff.. Jay is up, LOW BLOW!
JT: HA! NICE SHOT JAY! RIGH IN THE SAC!
SBW: Sac... is that a swear?
JT: If it is, you just said one!
SBW: SHIT! He's right!
JT: I KNOW 'shit' is a swear! I can see your job at
Disney floating away!
SBW: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MICKEY! COME BACK TO ME!
GP: Jay is in control now, and he lifts Wade like a
cruiserweight.. PRESS SLAM! NICE MOVE! Jay bounces off
the ropes, HUGE LEGDROP! Jay is taking it to The
Natural now. Wham, bam! THANK YOU MA'AM!
SBW: GP, please don't use sexual references in your
JT: SHUT UP POTTY MOUTH!
GP: Jay scoops up Wade and gives him a DDT! Now Jay
walks over and tags in Kestler. Kestler gets up top
and Jay holds The Natural up on his shoulders..
missile dropkick from Rob Kestler! Oh man, what a
tandem move! Kestler starts stomping on John Wade now
and Wade desperately fights back towards his corner...
oh no says Kestler, he grabs Wade by the leg and
smashes his knee into the mat! OUCH!
JT: Thrilling so far, huh? SNOOORREEE... when is Jay
going to do something cool?
GP: Kestler pulls The Natural up and hits him with a
double underhook powerbomb! Wade is being whiped out!
A cover now! 1,2, broken up by McRae who came out of
his corner. The ref is ordering McRae back to his end
of the ring and Jay comes flying off the top rope..
ELBOWDROP! Another cover by Kestler now.. ref doesn't
see it! He turns!
GP: It's amazing that John Wade could kick out! The
Natural is turing some heads here with his resistance.
John Wade is being pulled up to his feet now.. Kestler
with a right hand.. NO! Wade blocks and now he returns
with a right hand of his own! Another righ hand to the
face of Kestler as John Wade is battling back here!
Kestler comes off the ropes, CLOTHESLINE! No, Wade
ducked and now he hits a Sambo Suplex on Kestler! Both
men are down, both need to make a tag!
JT: COME ON ROB YOU FAGGIT! TAG JAY!
SBW: I think it's awful how you're doing this JT..
JT: Doing what, nutscab?
SBW: THAT RIGHT THERE! Trying to ruin my chances of
working for Disney!
JT: Boo F*CKING hoo!
GP: Kestler has made it to his corner but so has Wade!
McRae is in the ring! McRae takes Jay out with a right
hand, now he takes out Kestler has well! The IWO
Television Champion is cleaning house.. John McRae
tosses Jay into the ropes, THESZ PRESS! McRae is
kicking Jay's ass!
SBW: I know you won't listen but please don't say ass.
JT: *sneezing* ASS-CHEW!
GP: Smackdown being laid here by McRae.. he has Jay up
now, and he sends him into the ropes.. Kestler is
brawling with Wade on the outside, the referee is
trying to break it up.. MY GOD! MCRAE HIT THE HEART
PIERCING STAKE!!!!! JAY IS OUT! IT'S OVER! IT'S
OVER!!! NOW THE COVER.....NO!! THE REFEREE IS OUTSIDE!
WADE KNOCKS KESTLER DOWN AND POINTS TO THE RING, HERE
COMES THE REF!
GP: MCRAE HAD IT WON!!! IF ONLY THE REF HAD BEEN IN
THERE SOONER! LISTEN TO THESE FANS, THEY HATE IT!
JT: Ahh, they're all a bunch of assholes anyway..
SBW: JT, when the Disney people get here, you're going
to be fired quicker then you can utter one of your
JT: Werty Durd? What the f*ck is a werty durd?
GP: Now Jay is staggering up and McRae sends him back
into the ropes.. HEART PIERCING STAKE!! AGAIN!! NO!
JT: JAY REVERSED IT! GUILLOTINE CHOKE WITH SCISSORS!
McRAE IS IN SOME KIND OF PAIN HERE!!
GP: WADE AND KESTLER ARE STILL OUTSIDE! WILL VAMPYRE
TAP? NO! McRAE MAKES IT TO THE ROPES!
GP: Shut up Stunky, now is NOT the time! Jay is still
hurting from the first Stake, he needs to tag out and
so does Vampyre. Jay makes it to Kestler first, tag!
Kestler is in the ring now! Vampyre almost tags in
Wade... NO! Kestler stops McRae before he can get
there! The Split One is in trouble now, and Kestler
whips him into the ropes... SAMOAN DROP!
JT: WOOOO HOOOO! I LOVE IT when things go my way!
GP: Kestler stomping away on McRae, now he bounces off
the ropes.. knee to the back by Wade! Kestler spins
around, RIGHT HAND to the head of Wade! Wade falls to
the floor outside and Kestler comes off the ropes,
ELBOW DROP! He has McRae now... CALL FROM BEYOND!
THAT'S HIS MOVE! THAT'S HIS MOVE AND THIS ONE IS GOING
TO BE OVER! JAY IS IN THE RING NOW AND WE HAVE A
GP: KESTLER AND JAY HAVE WON THIS ONE! THE NORTH
AMERICAN CHAMPION SCORES A "W" OVER HIS ENEMIES HERE
TONIGHT ON TAKEOVER FANS!
::Scene cuts to the Beverly Hill Bruisers lab where Vincent is laying
operating table. His head has stitches on it and looks confused as he
around the room.::
Brian:Hello Vincent...we have done something extremely special on this
evening....now before you say anything let us do a quick test...just
Michael:Alright now say...dog...
Michael:Good...say water mellon...
Michael:Now Vincent say...ass fucker...
Vincent: ass......OUCH! What the fuck hey! Fuck
it! What the fuck
Brian:It worked! The V-chip worked!
Michael:I knew all those hours of watching South Park would pay off!
Vincent:What the fuck ouch! did you fucks damn it
Brian:Alright let's go show Jay our great work!
::Scene cuts as the stuff Vincent back in a bag and beat him with a
a few more times and drag him off. Scene then cuts to the sky box
and the Disney Executives are sitting.::
Executive 1:Alright Dane this is getting ridiculous...more then 50 bad
words...blood...hideous violence...this is disgusting..it's not
it's pure gore!
Executive 2:Yes Mr. Dane I'm afraid we're going to have to pass on your
C.Dane:NO! PLEASE! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE PART OF DISNEY...JUST GIVE
TILL THE END OF THE SHOW I BEG YOU! IT'LL BE WORTH IT! I PROMISE! WE'LL
Executive 3:Well I guess that couldn't hurt....
Executive 4:Yeah it couldn't hurt too much..
Mixed Tag Team Action
Stips to be announced
Brian Dudley and Caren Dudley vs. Billy Larson and Summer
Their will be stips to later be announced to go along with this match.
are not sure what they will be as of now, but we do know that Billy
and Summer will be more then ready to get revenge upon BHB and the rest
the BDP. Only stip as of now, no interference.
GP: WELCOME BACK TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!
JT: WHOO-HOO!! THIS HAS BEEN A KICK A** SHOW!
SBW: JT, how many times do I have to tell you? Don't swear! This is
JT: SHUT UP!
GP: Um... Ok... we have a mixed tag team match right now... with some
special stipulations... so let's go down to the Ring Announcer to find
what those stipulations are.
("Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit starts to play as Summer walks out in
Evening Gown and Billy Larson comes out in a Tuxedo.)
Ring Announcer: The following contest is sceduled to be an Evening
Gown/Tuxedo Match! The only way to for one of the ladies to rip off
someone's evening gown, and for one of the men to rip off someone's
First, coming down to the ring, the team of BILLY LARSON AND SUMMER!
JT: That has to be a very stupid stipulation.
GP: Eh, what can you do?
SBW: HEY! DANE MADE THIS STIP! IT IS A GOOD STIP!
JT: Hey, good going Greg!
GP: No problem.
("Pretty Fly for a White Guy" by Offspring starts to play and Brian
and Caren Dudley walks out to the ring.)
Ring Announcer: And their opponents, Brian and Caren Dudley!!!!
GP: Here we go, Caren Dudley is staring it off with Summer. Summer is
clawing at the eyes of Caren Dudley. Wait, Caren grabs Summer's hand
biting her! Caren Dudley is biting Summer!
JT: WHAT THE HE--... HECK? Oh what the hell.
SBW: DON'T SWEAR! This is pathetic! We should wrestle, not bite!
just slapped Caren to get her off! Summer charges Caren Dudley, SPEAR!
GP: Oh jeez... Summer tags in Billy Larson, and I think according to
rules, Brian Dudley is the legal man!
SBW: Yes, that's how it goes. Brian Dudley gets in the ring. Billy
hits him with a hard clothesline! Larson goes to the outside and grabs
chair. He whacks Brian with it. Now Larson is punching away at Brian
GP: Larson picks Dudley up, and he tosses him out of the ring! He
to Summer and tags her in! Caren Dudley runs out and is nailed by
with a purse! Summer emties the purse and a brick and a can of pepper
comes out! Summer takes the pepper spray and sprays it right into the
of Caren Dudley! She's about to get Caren Dudley's evening gown
Brian Dudley just pulled her out of the ring! Billy Larson from behind
a chair, Brian moves out of the way and he nails Caren Dudley!
JT: Caren rolled out of the ring groping wildly not able to see pushed
Summer out of the way and got nailed by that chair! Brian rushes over
her, and is nailed with a chair by Billy Larson!
SBW: Larson rolls Brian into the ring. Larson sends Brian to the
Brian ducks a clothesline. Kick, he rips off Larson's jacket! Caren
gotten her eye sight back and is trying to rip off Summer's evening
GP: Brian now rips off Larson's shirt! Caren Dudley just ripped
gown off! OH MY GOODNESS!
JT: YES! WHOO-HOO!!!!!
GP: Brian now takes out a knife? He rips Larson's pants and rips them
It's over! Brian Dudley and Caren Dudley wins! What a weird
(We see Chairman Dane and the Disney Execs sitting in Chairman Dane's
over some Cokes.)
Disney Exec #1: We're really impressed over this Coke you have. Three
a Coke! How do you do it? We charge TEN dollars for ours.
C. Dane: We just like to keep our fans happy.
Disney Exec #2: That's very good, because we only deal with people that
a happy fan base. Now, we want to see some of your talent.
C. Dane: Well, I had my assistant line up some people.
(Chairman Dane pushes a button on his desk.)
C. Dane: Send in the first wrestler.
(Vincent then walks into the room.)
C. Dane: Hi Vincent! These are the Disney Execs. They want to talk to
Vincent: WELL, THOSE C*CK SUCKERS CAN GO F*CK THEMSELVES IF THEY WANT
F*CKING TALK TO F*CKING VINCET!
Disney Exec #1: Charming.
Vincent: IS THAT A F*CKING ASSHOLE MAKING F*CKING FUN OF F*CKING
C. Dane: THANK YOU VINCENT!
(Vincent walsk out of the room.)
C. Dane: Next wrestler!
(The door opens and Mad Max walks in.)
C. Dane: MAX! NOW HERE'S A GOOD ONE! MAX, SHOW THEM YOUR SKILLS!
(Max begins throwing shit onto the execs. They get up and go under
C. Dane: THAT'LL BE ENOUGH MAX!
(Mad Max walks out of the room.)
Disney Exec. #2: Maybe we should tour around the building.
C. Dane: THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!
(Chairman Dane and the Disney Execs walk out of the room.)
Tony Davis vs. Dane Wilt
GP: HERE WE GO FANS! MAIN EVENT TIME!
JT: YES! DANE....WILT....FAVORITE....WRESTLER! WILL.....WIN!
SBW: There is NO way that Dane Wilt will win! He cusses WAY too much,
quite frankly, I don't think Chairman Dane likes him.
JT: SO!?! SO WHAT IF CHAIRMAN DANE DOESN'T LIKE HIM!?! IT HAS NO
SBW: YOU BET IT DOES! If Chairman Dane doesn't like someone, their
winning the title go down. IT'S TRUE!
JT: And why do they go down?
SBW: Um......BECAUSE CHAIRMAN DANE SAYS SO!
GP: Now, I don't like Dane Wilt, but I'm going to have to agree with JT
this one. What Chairman Dane thinks has no bearing on anything.
SBW: YES IT DOES! THEY HAVE MY BACKING IF THEY ARE LIKED BY CHAIRMAN
GP: So what?
SBW: HE IS BLESSED WITH MY GREAT COMMENTATING SKILLS!
JT: He, he. Yeah. Whatever.
SBW: I detect a dab of sarcasm in your voice.
JT: WOW! YOU'RE A GENIOUS!
SBW: I detect even more.
GP: Anyway, this match will square Dane Wilt against Tony Davis for the
Title that many feel rightfully belongs to Dane Wilt.
JT: THAT'S RIGHT! In a match where, to win, you have to get a pint of
opponents blood to win, Tony Davis used Mini-Dane Wilt's blood to win!
Mini-Dane is NOT Dane Wilt, therefore, BAD CALL BY THE REF!
SBW: You mean GOOD call by Chairman Dane. I don't even understand why
match even happened! I mean, it had blood in it. An OBVIOUS sign of a
match. Blood, gore, and swearing equals bad match and low ratings.
JT: Our ratings always go up when we have blood, gore, and/or cussing.
SBW: That's impossible! Why would Chairman Dane want to get rid of all
that stuff then?
JT: You tell me.
GP: Anyway, the way Tony Davis won the title in the first place was
controversial. SO, we're going to have this rematch in tonights main
It should be one of the biggest EVER!
JT: Oh, but this isn't just ANY match!
GP: You're right there, because this is the FIRST EVER 7 PILLARS OF
GP: That's right! Here are the rules! All around the building, seven
columns will be labeled as a "pillar of rome", each one having the name
one of the seven hills
which Rome was founded upon. To win the match, you must pin your
within a three-foot radius of four out of the seven pillars.
JT: SOUNDS COOL TO ME!
SBW: Of course, as we all know, the best part of this match is, blood,
or cussing is not required to win.
JT:......The match is going to end up outside, and you think there will
blood or gore!?!
SBW: It's not required, so why would it happen.
JT:......I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
GP: Anyway, the match will start in the ring, and end up outside of the
arena. We've got ALL of our mobile cameras ready, so don't worry about
getting all of tonight's action packed match!
JT: Yeah. AND ALL THE BLOOD TOO!
SBW: Haven't we been through this!?! Blood is not needed in this match
Chairman Dane is against it. THEREFORE, THERE WILL BE NO BLOOD OR GORE!
GP: You forgot cussing.
SBW: AND CUSSING!
JT: Why do you even care?
SBW: BECAUSE CHAIRMAN DANE CARES!
GP:...Fans, LET'S GO TO THE RING!
(The Ring Announcer gets in the ring.)
Ring Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE NEXT MATCH, IS FOR THE WORLD
(The fans pop.)
Ring Announcer: THIS WILL BE HELD UNDER VERY SPECIAL "SEVEN PILLARS OF
RULES! TO WIN, YOU MUST PIN YOUR OPPONENT IN FRONT OF FOUR OF THE SEVEN
(The shot goes to the seven pillars outside. The fans pop LOUDER THAN
OTHER TIME IN THE ENTIRE NIGHT.)
Ring Announcer: FIRST! COMING TO THE RING AT THIS TIME! HE STANDS 6
AND WEIGHS A 237 POUNDS! HE IS MASTER OF VENGEANCE, HE IS THE LEADER OF
KILROY, AND HE IS THE CURRENT WORLD'S CHAMPION!
("Degenerate" by Blink 182 starts as Tony Davis walks out with the
Title belt. The fans give him a huge pop. We see a TON of "nads" signs
arena tonight, and all are waving in the air. We even hear a "nads"
building in the crowd. Davis seems to love it.)
GP: He's looking really confident tonight. I'm sure he hopes to rid
of all the people saying that he shouldn't have won the World Title two
JT: My prediction? HE WON'T! DANE SHOULD HAVE WON, AND HE WILL TONIGHT!
SBW: My prediction? Both men wrestle an average match, but Chairman
comes out and pins both to become the NEW World's Champion.
JT:.....If that happens, I would quit.
SBW: I WOULD GET A RAISE!
GP: I would have to retire.
JT: What do you think GP?
GP: I'm really thinking that Davis is going to win tonight. He's really
roll coming into this match, and I really think Wilt's arogance is
cost him this one tonight.
JT: ARROGANCE? DANE WILT? NAH! His head is on straigh tonight. Besides,
whenever he is, so called, "cocky", he has everything to back it up. I
he is a former champion, and after tonight, he'll be a TWO TIME
Ring Announcer: NEXT! COMING TO THE RING! HE STANDS 5 FOOT 11 AND
230 POUNDS! HE IS THE MASTER OF THE FACE LIFT, THE LEADER OF THE
DOLLAR PROMOTION, AND A FORMER IWO WORLD'S CHAMPION!
("Alright (Oh yeah)" by Local H starts as Dane Wilt walks to the ring.
fans ARE GIVING HIM MORE HEAT THAN ANYTHING ALL NIGHT! He just smiles
boos. Someone throws an unopened bottle of water. Dane Wilt grabs it
starts drinking it, much to the displeasure at the fan that was
to hit him in the head. We actually see some fans try to climb over the
retaining barrier to attack Dane Wilt. The security has to fight hard
them from getting over.)
JT: THERE HE IS! MY HERO! YOU'RE HERE! AMERICA'S HERO!
GP: Uh, yeah!
SBW: He's a potty mouth. I can understand why the fans boo him.
GP: Skunkey, I don't think that's why they boo him.
SBW: IT'S STINKEY! And why, pray tell, do they boo him then?
GP: Oh, maybe it was the time he attacked Sue-Ann Kell and forced
her. IT could be the time he won the title from Phelen Kell by ending
match earlier. Of course, it might be the fact that he is an ass hole.
SBW: YOU'RE A POTTY MOUTH TOO! YOU'RE GOING TO GET AS MUCH HEAT AS DANE
GP: Yeah. I'm sure I will.
JT: Hey Stankey!
SBW: STINKEY! And what?
JT: Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, FUCK!
SBW: DARN YOU! WE'LL BE TAKEN OFF THE AIR! BESIDES, DISNEY IS HERE
(We pan out into the crowd to see the Disney people in the crowd with
Mickey Mouse ears on. They seem to love the 3 dollar Cokes. A LOT
than Disney World.)
SBW: THIS MAY COST US A LOT OF MONEY!
JT: Oh, like we need more money!
SBW: YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY!
JT: That is a good point. Dane Wilt has said that in the past. I guess
could see it being true. Well, be that as it may, I'm not going to stop
SBW: GOSH DARN IT!
GP: AND HERE WE GO! AFTER WE TAKE THIS QUICK COMMERCIAL BREAK!
(We see the Disney Execs walking toward the arena. Chairman Dane runs
Disney Exec #1: Dane, we just don't see dealing with the IWO being a
thing for Disney. After the cussing, the blood, the poop, it's jsut not
C. Dane: BUT WE HAVE GREAT RATINGS! WE'D BOOST THE DISNEY CHANNEL SKY
Disney Exec #2: Yes, but you're not really for the children audience.
C. Dane: BUT 75% OF OUR AUDIENCE IS UNDER 16!
Disney Exec #3: Well, then you're a pervert. We're going to get some
those cheap three dollar Cokes, and then we're going to watch the main
I can't get enough of those Cokes!
(The execs walk away.)
C. Dane: DRAT! Now we're going to have to try FOX they'll buy
::Scene cuts to outside where Earthquake and Jimmy Hart are waiting on
Earthquake:I DON'T WANNA WRESTLE ANYMORE!
Jimmy:WHAT! Why not baby?
Earthquake:Cause I wanna stay home an pway wit twucks in de sand with
Jimmy:Well okay baby I guess we could do that...the heros of wrestling
Earthquake:YEAH DEY HIRE ANYONE!
Jimmy:Damn right! Alright baby that's what we're gonna do...WCW WE
Earthquake:Jimmy dis is da IWO!
Jimmy:Oh right baby...IWO WE QUIT...IT'S GONNA BE A LONG TIME BEFORE
US AGAIN BABY!
Earthquake:YEAH! DEY STUPIDS! CHAIRMAN DANE IS A POOP FACE! JAMIE COZEY
DOO DOO HEAD! AND VP-JOHN IS A BUTT FACE!
Jimmy:Stop makeing an ass out of yourself and get in the fucking limo!
::Scene fades as Jimmy Hart and Earthquake drive off and are never
GP:And we're back!
JT: Dane Wilt charges into the ring and slides in......shot to the back
Davis' head.....Dane grabs him.....release German suplex!
GP: Dane Wilt now goes to the outside....he scales the top rope......he
jumps.....OUCH! ELBOW TO THE HEART OF DAVIS!
JT: Dane now runs into the rope...he jumps on them.....MOONSAULT! DAVIS
OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND! DAVIS IS UP!
GP: Davis now pulls Wilt up......he puts him in a sleeper!
JT: AND THE EXCITMENT REACHES A CLIMAX!
GP: Don't diss my comentary!
JT: I will if I want to. BITCH!
SBW: NO SWEAR WORDS!
SBW: DARN YOU!
GP: Dane Wilt is going down in this sleeper hold.....WAIT! Now he's
up! He stumbles around with Davis on his back.....HE DRIVES DAVIS INTO
JT: DAVIS IS DOWN! GO DANE! GO DANE! YOU THE MAN!
GP: Wilt now pulls up a dazed Davis...he sets him up on the top
JT: DANE HIS IT PERFECTLY! I WOULDN'T EXPECT LESS! HE IS GENETIC
GP: Wilt slides outside the ring and grabs a chair!
JT: HA HA! HE'S GOING TO RID US OF DAVIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!
GP: OH NO! Wilt slides into the ring with the chair!
JT: YES! TAKE HIS HEAD OFF!
GP: TONY DAVIS IS UP, BUT HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S COMING!
JT: THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!
SBW: NO! STOP THE BLOOD!
GP: WILT SWINGS!
GP: DAVIS DUCKS!
GP: THE CHAIR BOUNCES AGAINST THE ROPES AND HITS WILT IN THE HEAD! HE'S
SBW: BLOOD! NO! STOP THE INSANITY!
JT: BLOOD! GOOD! DANE DOWN! BAD!
GP: Davis grabs Wilt's feet....slingshot to the outside of the ring!
JT: Dane now is laying on the ring floor in a heap! Davis now slides
the bottom rope and goes right after him.
GP: Davis pulls Wilt up and leans him against the gaurd rale....HE
LINES HIM INTO THE FANS!
JT: DANE'S IN HIS ELIMANT! HE'S IN THE FANS! THEY LOVE HIM THERE!
SURE NO CHEATING GOES ON!
GP: Yeah. Sure.
JT: What's this? The fans are throwing beer on Dane? SEE! THEY'RE
REFRESH HIM WITH A COLD BEVERAGE!
GP: I doubt it.
SBW: BEER!?! YOU CAN'T HAVE BEER ON THIS SHOW! DISNEY'S HERE!
GP: I guess it's too late.
SBW: IT'S NEVER TOO LATE! WE HAVE A THREE SECOND DELAY! CHAIRMAN DANE
HAVE THAT SHOT CUT OUT!
JT: Well, three seconds have passed, and I think he is still with the
people. Looks like our fans will be tramitized for life being seeing
SBW: NO! THE DISNEY PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO BE HAPPY!
GP: I think we lost their support awhile ago.
GP: Well, Davis now is with Wilt.....Davis grabs Wilt....DDT!
JT: GET UP DANE! GET UP!
GP: Davis is now pulling Wilt along with him....they're going up those
to the upper levels.....it looks like Davis is going for the win now.
JT: THIS IS ALL PART OF A HUGE PLAN! DANE IS PLAYING OPOSSUM!
GP: Well, he better stop playing soon, or he may lose a fall....Davis
taking him up the stairs to the roof.
JT: THEY'RE ON THE ROOF! HERE'S WHERE THE PLAN UNFOLDS!
GP: We can see the seven pillars from here. Remember, to win, you need
falls, not just one as usual.
JT: Thank you Jim Ross.
GP: Davis now pulls Wilt over to a pillar.....he grabs him for a
JT: HA HA! DANE LOW BLOWS HIM! GO DANE!
GP: Wilt now pushes Davis away....FACE LIFT!
GP: WAIT! DAVIS SI STUMBLING AROUND......HE FALLS OFF THE BUILDING!
SBW: NO! THEY'LL TAKE US OFF THE AIR!
JT: HA HA! THE PLAN IS WORKING!
GP: DAVIS IS ON THE GROUND LAYING IN A POOL OF BLOOD! HIS EYES ARE
HE IS ALIVE! THAT IS GOOD NEWS!
JT: Yeah. Sure. Good news. GO DANE!
GP: IT APPEARS THAT TONY DAVIS BOUNCED OFF TREES, WHICH, WHILE HURTING
SLOWED DOWN HIS FALL!
JT: GO DANE! GET THE PIN!
GP: Dane Wilt stands on the edge.....WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO!?!
JT: YES! DO IT DANE!
GP: SENTON BOMB OFF THE BUILDING ONTO DAVIS! DAVIS COULD BE DEAD! DANE
JUST HIT A SENTON BOMB OFF THE BUILDING ONTO TONY DAVIS! THIS IS
SBW: NO! THERE IS BLOOD! STOP THE BLOOD!
JT: Skankey, two men just went off a building, and you didn't think
coming? Are you a dumb ass or something?
SBW: STINKEY! AND DON'T SAY THE "A WORD" ON TV!
JT: Ass, slut, fuck, damn, whore, penis, vigina, erection, cock, bitch,
GP: DANE WILT COVERS DAVIS!
Dane Wilt-1, Tony Davis-0
JT: DANE'S IN THE LEAD! YES!
GP: I don't see how Davis can go on....MY GOD! DAVIS IS GETTING UP!
JT: EVEN I'M IMPRESSED! EVEN THOUGH DANE IS GOING TO WIN ANYWAY!
GP: Wilt is still in control though......he grabs Davis and takes him
another pillar...Wilt covers!
GP: DAVIS KICKS OUT!
JT: SLOW COUNT!
GP: Davis is stagering to his feet.....this is an incredible show,
SBW: INCREDIBLE? HA! WE'VE HAD CUSSING AND VIOLENCE! DISNEY WON'T BE
JT: We don't need their help! After all, who wants to see IWO on the
SBW: I DO!
GP: Wilt now sets up Davis for a suplex.....DAVIS IS UP FOR IT, BUT
KICKING......WILT DROPS DAVIS ONTO OF HIM! DAVIS COVERS!
Dane Wilt-1, Tony Davis-1
JT: FAST COUNT! FAST COUNT!
GP: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
JT: Dane is up, and in shock. I can see why! It WAS a fast count!
GP: Davis is now up and both men are trading blows all the way to the
JT: GO DANE! GO DANE! HE'S RICH! GO DANE!
GP: Dane gets a hard right on Davis...Davis stumbles around.....FACE
JT: YES! GO DANE!
GP: Wilt covers!
JT: SLOW COUNT! SLOW COUNT! NO ONE KICKS OUT OF A FACE LIFT!
GP: Well, Davis just did!
JT: DANE IS UP AND PISSED!
GP: He pulls a staggering Davis up again....ANOTHER FACE LIFT!
JT: DANE COVERS!
1......2......3NO! YES! NO! YES! NO!
JT: THIS CAN'T HAPPEN! YOU CAN'T KICK OUT OF A FACE LIFT!
GP: That does it for Wilt...he's REALLY mad!
JT: DANE PULLS DAVIS UP AGAIN.....FACE LIFT!
GP: WILT COVERS!
Dane Wilt-2, Tony Davis-1
GP: Wilt is up again!
JT: YES! HE'S GOING TO WIN! I KNOW IT!
GP: Well, he's got to get two more wins for it to be over!
JT: They're both now going to the next pillar!
GP: Wilt grabs Davis.....DDT! WILT COVERS!
JT: WHAT IS THIS!?! THIS IS LIKE THE SLOWEST REF EVER!
GP: Davis is now up, but so is Wilt.....Wilt goes backwards.....he runs
Davis...HURRICARANA! NO! DAVIS FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A POWERBOMB ONTO THE
JT: NO! STOP THIS!
GP: DAVIS COVERS!
Dane Wilt-2, Tony Davis-2
JT: BIASED REF! BIASED REF! THIS SUCKS!
SBW: WHY DO YOU CUSS SO MUCH!?!
JT: SAYING SUCK IS NOW CUSSING!
SBW: YES IT IS! CHAIRMAN DANE SAYS IT IS!
GP: And both men are heading to the next pillar!
JT: Davis now grabs Dane....he's setting up for a powerbomb......HA HA!
TOSSES DAVIS OVER HIS BACK!
GP: Wilt now grabs Davis.....Wilt climbs onto a pillar....BOX OFFICE
(Shooting Star Press Into a DDT) ON THE CONCRETE!
JT: GO DANE GO! GO DANE GO! GO DANE GO!
GP: WILT COVERS!
Dane Wilt-3, Tony Davis-2
JT: JUST ONE MORE WIN AND DANE IS THE CHAMPION AGAIN!
GP: Well, we're heading to the next pillar.
JT: By the way, how in hell did Davis come up with these rules?
SBW: DON'T SAY THAT WORD! SAY HECK!
JT: OH SHUT UP!
SBW: QUITE WITH A PASSION!
GP: As to JT's question, beats me. Davis is a messed up guy. I would
thought the match would have something to do with nads myself.
JT: Dane is still on top in this though! He punches Davis....FACE LIFT!
GP: DAVIS DUCKS! HE SETS UP WILT! VENEANCE (Inverted Death Valley
DAVIS HIT IT PERFECTLY!
JT: NO! THIS....ISN'T....HAPPENING!
GP: DAVIS COVERS!
Dane Wilt-3, Tony Davis-3
JT: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GP: DAVIS COULD POSSIBLY WIN THIS THING!
GP: DAVIS PULLS DANE OVER TO THE NEXT PILLAR! HE SETS HIM UP!
JT: STOP THIS!
SBW: NO BLOOD!
GP: DAVIS COVERS!
GP: DAVIS WINS!
JT: THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!
GP: DAVIS WINS!
SBW: WAIT! LOOK!
JT: WHAT IS THE REF DOING!?!
GP: OH NO! The ref has just informed Tony Davis that he didn't pin Dane
in a three foot radious of the pillar. It was three feet and five
JT: HA HA! DANE IS STILL IN THIS!
GP: Tony Davis is now arguing with the ref. He grabs the ref and is
SBW: HE CAN'T TOUCH A REF! CHAIRMAN DANE SAID SO!
JT: Davis is now going after Dane....FACE LIFT WHEN DAVIS TURNED
GP: DANE WILT COVERS!
GP: DANE WILT WINS!
JT: YES! DANE WINS! DANE WINS! DANE WINS!
GP: Dane is now running back into the arena to go to the ring.....he's
running through the crowd who is booing him like there is no tommorow.
JT: DANE HAS DONE IT AGAIN! TWO TIMES!
GP: LOOK AT THIS! THE ENTIRE BILLION DOLLAR PROMOTION IS IN THE RING
CELIBRATING WITH DANE!
JT: LOOK AT ALL THE PYROS!
(A TON of pyros go off as Dane Wilt and the BDP celibrate in the ring.
hundred dollar bills with Dane Wilt's picture on them fall from the
The fans are giving MORE HEAT THAN THE ENTIRE NIGHT HAS SEEN.)
JT: THIS IS GREAT! I'M GOING DOWN THERE! I LOVE WINNING!
(We see the BHB pop open two bottles of champagne. Champagne flys out
covers the celibrating BDP. JT then runs into the ring to celibrate
GP: Fans, Dane Wilt is the NEW World's Champion, for the second time.
out of time, we'll see you this Sunday for Conspiracy Theory. For JT,
B. Wizzlecheeks, and myself, I'm GP. GOOD NIGHT FROM BEVERLY HILLS!
(The celibration in the ring continues as the scene fades out.)
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead