::The scene opens and the normal IWO Promo beginning starts. You know
one, with the heart beat and then the flash of the IWO logo. It goes
this twice and then the scene suddenly cuts and you see Chairman Dane
behind a desk. On one corner of the desk is a pencil jar full of
and on the other side a very nice looking fern. It is a plain gray
behind him and it looks quite boring as Chairman Dane tends to be. He
looking down at a set of notes notices the camera and begins to speak.:
C.Dane:Oh hello! I have been going through some of my TONS of fan mail
was struck by this letter from a little boy in Dover Pennsylvania. And
Dear Chairman Dane,
Hello my name is Zach...I am 16 years old and a huge fan of yours.
However, I must say that I am still finding too much of Hostile
extremely offensive. For example your introductions. They are full of
extreme violence and loud EVIL heavy metal music...you know like
Fear Factory...the music of the devil I tell ya! So I was wandering if
could play good wholesome music for your introductions such as Yani...I
HUGE Yani fan. Please don't continue this sickening trend of
scenes of ultra-violence and loud talentless heavy metal music. Please
just GOOD wrestling and the nice soft melodies of Yani.
PS:All the IWO fans can reach me at RavenFMZ@AOL.COM I would be MORE
happy to talk with them
C.Dane:Well it seems obvious to me now that I can no longer allow the
production staff to use bands such as Fear Factory, Pantera, Slipknot,
Limp Bizkit...all those talentless "New Wave" bands. Not to mention
crap...I mean who want's to hear DMX, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Methodman,
we could all listen to music such as Garth Brooks and Willie Nelson? So
I will grant you your request...I will put none of the crappy "Extreme"
wrestling in this weeks introduction...and this week lets all groove to
hip beats of "History Will Teach Us Nothing" by Sting.
::The music starts and you see many boring shots. You see highlights
Virtual Violator putting a head lock on Rodney Phoenix. Then cuts over
clip of Brother Al locking in his famous figure four leg lock.
executing a top rope elbow drop. Danny Lovett and John Wade trading
And finally G-Dogg executing a clothesline off the ropes. The music
as the camera pans into the arena. You see signs such as "Someone KILL
Chairman Dane," "My dicks bigger then Titans", "hey Earthquake...I
pants too," and finally "Welcome back Zombie. The camera pans down to
the pyros being shot off and then cuts down to the broadcast table
Parker (GP), Stinky B. Wizzelcheeks (SBW), and JT all sit. GP and JT
have discusted looks on their faces. They begin to talk.::
GP:Alright first he will no longer allow us to swear then he won't
OR metal to be played on the introduction...only country and soft
JT:ALRIGHT FUCK THIS! I'VE GOTTA GET THIS OFF MY MOTHER FUCKING CHEST!
YOU CHAIRMAN DANE FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR EAR! FUCK YOU SO HARD THAT THE
COMES OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR EAR! THEN EAT SHIT AND ROT IN HELL YOU
STUPID LITTLE FUCKING....FUCK!
::SBW picks up a walkie talkie::
SBW:CHAIRMAN DANE WE HAVE A CODE RED AT THE ANNOUNCE AREA!
::Suddenly Earthquake and Jimmy Hart appear behind JT.::
Jimmy:Alright baby what's your problem?
JT:I'M TIRED OF ALL YOU EXECUTIVE ASS FUCKERS FUCKING WITH MY FUCKING
FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!!
Earthquake:JIMMY! HE SWEAR TOO MUCH AND HURT MY VIRGIN EARS!
GP:Wait...wait...wait...your a virgin? Your like 50 years old! That's
Earthquake:NUT-UH! JIMMY SAYS SEX IS BAD! STUPID!
Jimmy:Yeah baby that's right...sex is B-A-D.
Earthquake:Yeah I know Jimmy!
Jimmy:JT baby are you gonna settle down?
JT:NO JIMMY! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAT FUCKING VIRGIN FUCK!
Jimmy:Take him out Quake!
::Earthquake sits on JT's lap and breaks the chair and falls to the
JT is screaming in pain.::
Jimmy:Alright baby let him up!
Earthquake:HEY WHILE I'M HERE I WANNA MAKE A CHALLENGE! I WANNA
PHLEM KILLER TO A REMATCH NEXT WEEK! IF HE GOT BALLS TO EXCEPT!
Jimmy:Baby don't say balls!
Jimmy:Cause it's bad and we gotta be Dane's censors baby!
::Jimmy and Earthquake walk off as JT is trying to sit up.::
GP:Well folks as you can see Chairman Dane is still running this
right down the tubes! But, we do have some good matches tonight...we
Psycho Jay vs. John McRae vs. Zombie...now the set up to this match is
SBW:Yeah that's right...if Zombie wins he gets nothing...if McRae wins
get's to keep the North American title...and if Psycho Jay wins he
North America title and John McRae get's the TV title. A bit of an odd
GP:Well JT who do you see winning?
JT: I THINK HE BROKE MY NUTS!
SBW:NADS IF YOU MUST USE A SLANG TERM PLEASE!
GP:Anyways we also will have Cat Bowl 2 ?¿? takeing on High Flyer. Now
first one is now infamous where the Beverly Hill Bruisers met The Prep
in a wild one. This time it will be one on one with no titles on the
line...I don't know about you guys but I can't wait to see this one!
SBW:As sick as it it...I don't know theirs just something about a bowl
of cats that...kinda gains my attention in it's own sick way.
GP:And of course tonight Phelen Kell takes on Dane Wilt in what should
worth the price of admission alone. I mean this card basically has
mainevents on it!
SBW:Very true and with Chairman Dane in charge would you expect
else? I am seeing that as being the best one of the evening...those two
much as I might not like em' both put on one heck of a show.
GP:And you know what fans...I'm gonna go out on a limb tonight and pick
Phelen Kell as the winner...I think it's his time to take Dane out for
one two three!
SBW:Welll statistically speaking Dane Wilt SHOULD have an easy
those two you never can tell.
GP:Well fans when we're going to take our first break...when we get
we'll have our first match and hopefully JT will be able to sit
JT: Pray for me guys!
New guys collide
vs. Dark Angel
GP: Hello all of you!! We are here at Hostile Takeover! It's going to
tonight right JT?!
JT: Yeah yeah, hey Stinky, YOU NEED PERFUME!
GP: Our next bout on Hostile Takeovers card is going to be a Debut
squaring off against Dark Angel. is going to be showing off his stuff
JT: I'm gonna go with in this match. It just sounds like he has the
potential. is going to win GP, plain and simple.
BSW: I like Dark Angel! doesn't have what it takes just yet.
JT: Shut up, you smell bad, no one likes you.
GP: Hahahaha! Lets go to the ring!!
["I am God" by Kid Rock blasts through out the announcing as walks
the ring with a serious exspression on his face]
["Breathe" by Prodigy plays as Dark Angel walks to the ring. The crowd
doesn't give a big pop]
*Ding ding ding!*
GP: Well we're off! runs at Dark Angel, and connects a clothesline!
Angel falls straight to the mat. He gets back up, clothesline from !
Angel on his knees, low blow to ! Jumps up on , tornado DDT! rolls out
of the ring!
JT: Get back in you piece of dog crap! Go fight!
JT: What are you laughing about?!
SBW: I smell like dog crap!
GP: going to take a different approach to this match I believe. And
equalizer, the chair! He runs into the ring, and swings at Dark Angel!
Angel ducks! Boot, drops the chair. Double armed ddt on the chair! is
out cold! Dark Angel sets him up on the ground, Dark Angel climbs the
rope. Looks for the flying elbow, connects it! To the throat of !
JT: Now Dark Angel picks up , and sends him into the ropes, elbow!
up pissed, and spears Dark Angel! gets him up, and sends him into the
corner. Follows with a heel kick! Now sets up Dark Angel on the top
Hurricanrada!! Dark Angel lands on the chair! Ouchies!
SBW: now grabs the chair, and holds it high above his head, and
over Dark Angels head! Dark Angel falls to the mat. picks him up, hard
right hand! Another! Another! Dark Angel grabs him by the throat,
to the outside of the ring! Dark Angel now gaining his strength back.
GP: Dark Angel slides to the outside, and picks up . Kicks him in the
gut....POWERBOMB THREW THE FRENCH ANNOUNCE BOOTH! MY GOD! Whatta'
Dark Angel exposing the concrete now. He picks up , BRAINBUSTER ONTO
CONCRETE! MY GOD! IS BUSTED OPEN WIDLY!
JT: Dark Angel throws into the ring. He grabs a mic, and rolls into
Dark Angel: , you suck! I mean, look at you! You look like shit! YOU
GP: Oh my god!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! COMING DOWN THE ISLE IS A BUNCH OF
MONKEYS! DARK ANGEL HOPS OUT OF THE RING!! THE MONKEYS ARE IN THE RING!
ARE ATTACKING !!
SBW: HAHAHA! WAIT! THEY ARE...PISSING ON HIM! AND SHITTING ON HIM!!
JT: HEY IT LOOKS LIKE YOU SBW! HAHAHA! YOU PIECE OF CRAP!
GP: NO THAT PIECE OF CRAP ON 'S HEAD IS CRAP! HAHA!
[The monkeys exit the ring]
GP: Dark Angel slides a table into the ring, and sets it up. He brings
the top rope. Boot, TIGER BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! My god! is getting
shit kicked out of him!
JT: True true.
Dark Angel: Hey ref, count this man out! He's dispicable!
GT: Cover! 1....2....3!!! It's over! Dark Angel won! Wow!
JT: WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK WHAT'S COMING DOWN THE ISLE! IT'S A DAMN ZOO!
LIONS, HENS, CHICKENS, MONKEYS, BIRDS, THERE FILLING THE RING! AND
! HAHAHA! THERE PISSING ON ! THIS IS CRAZY!
SPW: IWO has turned into a damn zoo!!
GP: Haha...my god, when you think you saw it all, IWO comes with more
JT: A hen just shoved it's leg up 's ass! Haha!
[That "In the jungle, the mighty jungle" blasts through out the arena
animals attack , and do there daily shittings]
GP: Well Dark Angel walks away the winner of this....match?
JT: Hahaha! I'm getting a kick out of this!
GP: Well, IWO is telling me NOT to go to commercial. The crew is
the ring, the animals have left. Why can't we cut to commercial!?
["Pause 4 Porno" feat. Jake Steed plays as a big chested....nice
bow ass women walks down the isle with a gown on]
JT: WHOA MOMMA! WHO IS THAT?!
GP: I...I..don't know!
The Girl That Has A Big Chest, Nice Legs, and Ba Bow Ass: Hello all of
you...my name is Joey...
JT: WOW! JOEY!!
Joey: I wanted to call down a...special guy...for a...special...meeting
JT: WHO COULD THAT BE?!
GP: I don't know GP!
Joey: That man is....JT.
JT: OH MY GOD! IM GONNA SCORE! IM GONNA SCORE! GP, I'LL GIVE YOU THE
[JT walks down the isle, and gets in the ring]
Joey: Is that a microphone in your pants...or are you just happy to see
JT: I'm HAPPY! IM HAPPY! DAMNIT IM HORNEY!
Joey: Well....big boy....let me show you these....
JT: YES! TITTY CITY! TITTIE CITY!
GP: CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT! CUT DAMNIT CUT!
JT: OH MY GOD! THOSE THINGS ARE HUGE! CAN I FEEL?!
GP: I SAID CUT DAMNIT!
Joey: OH MY GOD! THAT FEELS GOOD!
GP: CUT IT! DAMNIT!
JT:AHAHAHHAHA! I hate those fricking jobber matches!
GP:Yes they certainly aren't the most entertaining thing in the world
someday one of them may be World Champ...
JT:AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! NOT FUCKING LIKELY!
SBW:WATCH YOUR POTTY MOUTH!
JT:SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS DICK FUCK!
SBW:Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...I'm gonna tell Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
GP:Settle down guys...right now I understand we have Chairman Dane and
censors in the back awaiting something...
::Scene fades and you see Chairman Dane with his censors Jimmy Hart and
Earthquake. A limo suddenly pulls up and out steps Phelen Kell and
Harlequin. The "censors" suddenly approach him.::
C.Dane:Phelen...Phelen...we gotta talk baby.
Phelen:What the fuck do you want now Dane?
C.Dane:Okay theirs one of the points I wanted to bring up...your
must stop! Now alot of the younger guys around here look up to
bit of a favorite around the back. So maybe if you cut down on some of
bad language perhaps some of the other boys would too...what do you
Phelen: Wow do the boys really look up to me?
C.Dane:They sure do...and together you and I could make this into one
a good show for familys to enjoy together.
Phelen:You and I?
C.Dane:You know it buddy! Myself and you.
Phelen:Neato...what else do you want me to do?
C.Dane:Well theirs a new face in the back who has a been getting a bit
heat from you and a few other boys because he doesn't have...well the
Phelen:You mean that crow rip off?
C.Dane:Yes, yes...his name is Dark Angel...now let's make him feel
bit more at home around here..I mean he is obviously elite because he's
so let's not give him a hard time and just welcome him to the family...
Phelen:C'mon dude...it's just fricking lame! It's worse then Dark
C.Dane:Now now...Dark Insanity has a great future here...please don't
him either! So what do you say Phelen? Can you play ball...
Phelen:Let me put it like this Dane....Fuck off...you shit eatting dick
C.Dane:That's it! Quake teach him a lesson!
Earthquake:Phlem Killer....wanna go play trucks in the sandbox with me?
Jimmy:BABY! DON'T PLAY TRUCKS WITH HIM! CHAIRMAN DANE PAYS YOU TO BE
MUSCLE! NOW BEAT HIM UP!
Earthquake:I will Jimmy...
::Earthquake runs at Kell and Kell grabs him and throws him into Kell's
Earthquake:OUCH! DAT HURTED ME!
Phelen:I heard your little challenge on the way here Quake...I
HT....you and I one on one.
Earthquake:JIMMY! I HAVE A BOO BOO! WAHHHHHHHHHH!
Jimmy:Baby don't cry!
Phelen:Dane you gotta be able to get better help then that if you wanna
C.Dane:Errrr...good help is so hard to find anymore!
::Scene cuts back to GP, JT, and SBW.::
GP:Well it seems that Chairman Dane's little posse isn't working out to
SBW:Give it time GP they're professionals!
GP:Well anyways JT, Stinky,tells us that John Wade has some comments
JT:I haven't heard anything the moron has had to say.Sticky what did he
Stinky:That's Stinky!Anyway he says he doesn't like the fact that you
laughing at him.He's gonna kick your butt if he gets the chance!
JT:John Wade could kiss my ass,let alone kick it.If he comes out
gonna(Smooth Operator blares out over the PA system and John Wade makes
way out to the commentators position.)I didn't know he was here!
GP:Well,here is your chance,bigshot.John how are you doing?(Wade pushes
out of the way and grab JT by the shirt)
JT:I didn't mean it!I think you're the best.I didn't say nothing
Wade:YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF A JOKE.(Wade punches JT in the mouth.He
throws him in the ring ) Let's see how funny it is now,bigshot!
GP:OH THIS IS GREAT.WADE WITH A PILEDRIVER.HE'S SIGNALING FOR IT.THERE
THE CROSSFACE! HAHAHAHAHA!JT IS GETTING JUST WHAT HE DESERVES.JT IS
FOR HIS LIFE.WADE LETS HIM UP AND THROWS HIM TO THE FLOOR JUST IN FRONT
ME.LET ME GET OUT OF THE WAY.WAIT A MINUTE,HE'S GONNA POWER BOMB JT
THE OH NO!(JT goes crashing through the table,) JOHN,YOU'RE OUT OF LINE
NOW,COME ON HE'S JUST AN ANNOUNCER.
WADE:GET OUTTA MY WAY PARKER!(Wade pushes GP to the floor,the rolls
ring and grabs a microphone)YOU WANNA COME OUT AND PUT THE BAD MOUTH ON
ME?YOU THINK I'M SOME SORT OF JOKE.ASK JT HOW FUNNY I AM.YOU PEOPLE
LEARN TO RESPECT THE NATURAL!CUE MY DAMN MUSIC!(Smooth Operator plays
has Wade makes his way to the back has EMT's come out to help JT)
Beverly Hills Bruisers vs. The Prime Time Soldiers
GP: HERE WE GO FANS! WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME GREAT TAG TEAM ACTION!
JT: Yeah. We get to see My Favorite Team, the BHB, going against the
Time Soldiers. This is a no brainer. Bruisers dominate and win big.
SBW: I'm going to have to disagree with you JT>
JT: You would Skunkey.
SBW: STINKEY! And, I think that the BHB is going to fall pray to these
Prime Time Soldiers. These guys will lead the IWO tag division into the
GP: I'm going to have to agree with Stinkey. These NEW Prime Time
are lookng good. After they win here, they will only go up.
SBW: Should be a good match either way.
JT: Well, both teams are already fighting in the aisle! I guess they
wait for the anouncements.
GP: Michael Dudley and Scott Stone have paired off while we have Tyler
Johnson and Brian Dudley going at it.
JT: Scott is laying rights and lefts into Michael Dudley's rich ASS
SBW: Please refrain from using the A-word on the show. Chairman Dane
like it at all.
JT: Well Chairman Dane can go f*ck himself!
SBW: THAT DID IT! YOU'RE OFF MY CHRISTMAS CARD LIST!
JT: OH NO!
GP: Brian grabs Tyler Johnson. SUPLEX ONTO THE ENTRANCE RAMP!
JT: Scott goes for spinning heel kick......Michael Dudley
THE STOMACH OF SCOTT!
GP: Michael Dudley sets Scott up....POWERBOMB OFF THE RAMP!
JT: Scott is laying in a pile of broken tables in a bloody heap! The
could be dead from that shot!
GP: THE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET FROM IT THOUGH!
SBW: WHY!?! IT INVOLVED BLOOD AND BLOOD IS BAD!
JT: Let me guess. Chairman Dane doesn't like blood.
SBW: How did you know?
JT: I took a guess.
GP: Well, now Michael and Brian are both double teaming Tyler Johnson.
both set him up.....DOUBLE POWERBOMB ONTO THE RAMP!
JT: Both men roll him into the ring.....Brian lifts Tyler up in a
suplex.....Michael goes to the top...THIS IS IT!
GP: Michael knocks Tyler Johnson down from the suplex! THAT'S THE SUN
BEVERLY HILLS! MICHAEL FOR A COVER!
***DING, DING, DING!***
("Pretty Fly For a White Guy" by Offspring starts as the BHB gets their
tag title belts and celibrate their win.)
JT: HAHA! I TOLD YOU! THE BHB WINS AGAIN! THEY ARE UNSTOPPABLE!
SBW: I'll give you this, that was an impresive match by the BHB.
GP: You wonder when the next time we will see another chapter in their
feud with the Prep Kids.
JT: YEAH! ALL THEIR MATCHES ARE GOOD AND HAVE BLOOD!
SBW: BUT BLOOD IS BAD!
GP and JT: SHUT UP!
(We see Summer sitting in Billy Larson's dressing room wearing some
clothes, rubbing her legs. We hear a lot of cat calls from the fans. We
hear a knock from outside.)
Summer: Who is it?
Voice: It's me Summer. Billy.
Summer: What's up honey?
Voice of Billy Larson: I'm going to really need some night cap from you
tonight. Bad. I left something for you in the shopping bag in your
it on, and I'll be back soon.
(Summer walks over to the big bed in her dressing room and opens the
bag. She pulls out some SKIMPY lingerie. We hear cheers from all the
fans cheer loudly and the cat calls pick up. Summer smiles and then
take off her top. We cut out RIGHT before we see anything.)
Extreme Style 3 way Dance of Death
Al Coholic vs. Da Bronx Bro. vs. Evan Levine
If Al Coholic wins he will not have to defend his belt
on any of the
Hostile Takeovers. However, if Da Bronx Bro. or Evan
Levine win they
a title shot next week GUARANTEED. Elimination Style
GP: Alright folks, we're back on Hostile Takeover!
There's already been some excitement tonight and we've
got more on the way when extreme champ Al Coholic
fights for his vacation time against Da Bronx Bro and
JT: Levine, DBB... SNORE! Those two are just
pathetic.. what a piece of sh-
SBW: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY! DON'T DO IT JT!
JT: What the f*ck are you talking about you little
SBW: YOU SWORE! I AM TELLING CHAIRMAN DANE! YOU ARE SO
JT: *mocking* You are so bad JT. Shut up Stinky or
I'll beat the hell out of you..
SBW: I don't think Chairman Dane would like to hear
that.. I think you better apologize.
JT: Shut up or I will backhand you, bitch.
GP: Getting back on topic.. this is going to be a
thrilling extreme style, anything goes, contest. I'm
sure we're up for some fantastic hardcore IWO action
::"The Kids aren't alright" by The Offspring starts to
play as Evan Levine walks out.::
GP: Here comes Evan Levine, The NEW game. Let's see if
he can make an impact and earn an extreme title shot.
::"Guerilla Radio" by RATM starts to play and Al
Coholic comes out to a decent pop, wearing the Extreme
GP: Al Coholic ladies and gentlemen.. the IWO Extreme
Champion. He doesn't want to have to defend his title
and if he can win this match, he'll have the next four
hostile takeover cards off.
::"Highway" by Lil Troy starts to play and DBB walks
GP: Da Bronx Bro is out here and he is not just
fighting for the IWO Extreme title shot.. he's after
some respect in the locker room as well. Wait, what's
he doing? DBB has a mic folks..
DBB: I'm too good for this match.. I've already been
guarenteed a re-match, which I will take later. But
since all these Bronx Bro fans want to see me kick
ass, I'll give you two fools a beat-down 'fore I get
my shit and get out of here.
::DBB drops his mic and charges the ring.::
GP: DBB has just raced to the ring and now he is
beating down Evan Levine! Here comes Al Coholic.. DDT
from Da Bronx Bro! DBB scoops up Levine.. SLAM! He
stomps a hole right through the extreme champ! Now DBB
has Levine up on top.. BRONXPLEX! BRONXPLEX TO EVAN
LEVINE! DBB HAS AL COHOLIC... BRONXPLEX! DBB HAS
WHIPED OUT BOTH MEN AND NOW HE IS HEADING TO THE
JT: What the fu..
SBW: DON'T SAY IT JT! THERE ARE CHILDREN WATCHING!
JT:..ck is he doing? Is there still going to be a
JT: No? What a f*cking rip-off!
SBW: STOP SWEARING JT!
GP: It looks like we're still going to have a match
here fans.. Al Coholic is struggling up to his feet
and he grabs the IWO Extreme title, which he uses to
plaster the face of Evan Levine. Coholic now falls to
the mat with an arm draped across the chest of
JT: Oh man.. come on Evan!
GP: Levine is dazed and he rolls on out of the ring to
catch his breath, I think he may still be feeling the
effects of that Bronxplex that he recieved earlier. Al
Coholic steps out after his advesary and on his way he
grabs the ring bell.. Levine turns and kicks Coholic
in the gut and now he nails him with a
double-underhook ddt! Coholic drops the bell and
Levine picks it up...
JT: WHAM! WHAT A SHOT!
SBW: Oh dear.. this is very violent, I hope the X
network censors get it!
GP: Al Coholic is busted wide open after that shot
from the ring bell and Levine hauls him up and sends
the extreme champ crashing face first into the steel
stairs! Coholic is cut deep fans, this could be
serious. Levine comes over and rakes Al Coholics eyes
agains the ring apron.. that's just CHEAP!
JT: Oh come on Greg... this match is extreme style,
GP: Whatever JT. Al Coholic is in bad shape here and
Levine scoops him up.. POWERSLAM! Now a cover.
GP: Levine is pissed about the count speed and he gets
in the face of the official because of hit. Now Al
Coholic is recovering and he grabs ahold of the ring
steps.. HE TOSSES THEM RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF LEVINES
HEAD! MY GOD!
JT: HOLY SHIT!
SBW: STOP WITH THE CURSE WORDS JT! IT'S NOT ALLOWED!
GP: I DON'T BELIVE IT! EVAN LEVINE GOES CRASHING INTO
THE OFFICIAL, I THINK HE'S DEAD!
JT: That was CHEAP GP! Al Coholic hits from behind!
GP: Whatever the case, Al Coholic is about to win this
one.. he sets up a chair and now he has Levine.. HAPPY
HOUR! HAPPY HOUR ONTO THE CHAIR! MY GOD! DID YOU HEAR
THE NOISE EVAN LEVINES NECK JUST MADE!?! THE COVER!!!!
GP: THE REFEREE IS OUT! THE REFEREE IS OUT! WAIT A
JT, GP & SBW: HERE COMES KING STING!!!
::King Sting comes charging out down the ramp..::
GP: King Sting has Al Coholic and he is firing away
with right hands.. now he picks Coholic up.. BODY
PRESS SLAM! Now King Sting walks over to Evan
Levine... HE LOCKS ON THE TORTURE CHAMBER! LEVINE IS
CRYING OUT IN PAIN, THIS IS AWFUL! CHAOS FOLKS,
JT: Aww dammit King Sting! He had to come down here
and ruin everything.. Levine was in place to win it!
GP: NOW DA BRONX BRO IS RUNNING OUT AND HE ATTACKS
KING STING! AL COHOLIC IS UP AND HIS FIGHTING WITH
EVAN LEVINE! THIS ONE IS OUT OF HAND LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN! KING STING JUST HIT DBB WITH A POWERBOMB!
LEVINE AND COHOLIC HAVE BATTLED UP THE RAMP AND INTO
::The bell sounds::
Ring Announcer: The referee has ruled this match a NO
::The crowd boos..::
JT: WHAT? BULLSHIT!
SBW: WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY? I think you're just
trying to bother me..
JT: No SHIT sherlock..
GP: Well fans that match is over, a no contest.. why
did King Sting run out?
::Scene cuts to The Prep Kids in the back sitting in their locker
Randal McCloud: ...and then she gave me the best
head... hey? What the f*ck is that camera doing in
Jordan Howitt: I asked it to be here... I wanted to
tell the foriegn legion that come next Hostile
Takeover, we're going to kick their asses.
Randal McCloud: Oh, okay. Cool. Well, you heard the
man.. now F*CK OFF!
(We see the lights dimmed low in Summer's dressing room. She is now
the SKIMPY lingerie to the delight of all male fans and the few female
that aren't "into" guys. We see her putting on red lipstick. She then
on some romantic music and lights two candles. We then hear a knock on
Summer: Who is it?
Voice: It's me. Billy.
Summer: Just a second!
(Summer runs over to the bed and sprawls out seductively with a
on her face.)
Voice of Bill Larson: Can I come in?
(The door slowly opens.......TO REVEAL THE ENTIRE BILLION DOLLAR
EVIL LAUGH! Summer stands up and screams, but is silenced by the hands
Evan Levine. Dane Wilt then closes the door and locks it.)
Dane Wilt: Don't waste your breath. Larson is still at the ring, bitch.
Apollo: He can't hear you either.
Brian Dudley: Pretty cool, huh? By the way, you fit that lingerie we
here pretty damn nice. For a whore that is. Of course, Caren would
better in it than you.
Summer: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!
Dane Wilt: WE ALREADY HAVE! Damn, I've always wanted to say that!
Summer: HOW DID YOU GET BILLY'S VOICE!?!
Michael Dudley: (Sounding REMARKABLY Like Billy Larson) Just like this
Summer. Just like this.
Summer: AHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Michael Dudley: DAMN THIS IS COOL!
Evan Levine: Can I screw her Dane? CAN I PLEASE!
Dane Wilt: Sorry man. You shouldn't waste yourself on her. She's a
you'd probably get warts from Larson.
Evan Levine: Good point.
Dane Wilt: We've got bigger plans for you!
(Summer screams and passes out.)
Dane Wilt: Come on! Let's get her to the podium!
(Evan Levine throws a passed out summer over his shoulder and carries
of the room. The entire Promotion then walks out of the room.)
::Scene cuts and you see Psycho Jay entering the arena. The crowd
mixed reactions to cheers and boos. He is heading towards the Usual
dressing room John McRae pops out of a womans bathroom behind him
a supersoaker 200 in his hands and begins to shoot it at Zombie..::
McRae:SINCE YOU LIKE KOOL-AID SO FUCKING MUCH DRINK THIS!
Psycho Jay:Noooooo! My new Beaver 3:16 shirt...I paid a good 3 cents
::McRae runs off.::
Psycho Jay:You heartless bastard! Tonight you will get yours! I HATE
::Psycho Jay runs to his locker room in tears.::
Stips to be Announced
Phelen Kell vs. Dane Wilt
GP: Its time now folks for the third round of this feud to take place.
have right now coming towards you "The Legend" Phelen Kell taking on
enemy...."Genetic Perfection" and all around scum bag Dane Wilt. What
store for us in this match here tonight...especially with the
yet to be announced guys?
JT: Well to be quite honest Dane Wilt is up two to none on Phelen Kell
in singles competition...and although both ended in so called
finishes"...which might I add is a bunch of shit...I see Dane coming
with the win no matter what the stipulations may be.
GP: Thats something I expected from you JT. But what do you think
SBW: GRRRRRRRR...... calm down Stinky....calm
yourself.....breath in......breath out....alright...now answer the man.
I see Phelen Kell winning this one. The man has been
douped twice by Wilt. And he doesn't want this feud with Wilt to end up
his feud with Zombie.
GP: Which ended up with Kell clean sweeping.
SBW: Exactly. He knows if that happens with Wilt, he'll never live it
JT: Damn right he won't.
GP: That is a really good point Skanky....thanks for your insight.
SBW: No prob.....HEY! MY NAME IS STINKY! I AM FROM A DUTCH FAMILY!
GP: Yeah...whatever. Lets take you down to the ring now and we'll see
the hell is going on.
::To the ring.::
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen this next bout is a special addition to
Hostile Takeover made at special request. Introducing first at this
time....he is a former IWO North American champion, IWO World Tag Team
champion...former Tag Team Intercontinental champion, and former IWO
heavyweight champion....he is "The Super Heel" he is "Genetic
::"Alright Oh Yeah" by Local H begins to play as we see Dane Wilt walk
to the ring and step inside. He looks around and blows kisses to
Dane grabs a microphone.::
Dane: Hey....I've got a special treat for everyone here
tonight....alright....the first person to hit me directly with a full
::One splats right in front of him.::
Dane: Much like that one right there....will recieve a free
right..I said free copy...of my new work out video...with my exercise
emphatically call....Dane-Bu. Thats right....for one night only...first
person to hit me with a cup of soda gets a free copy of Dane-Bu! Its
times better than Tae-Bo ladies and gentlemen...I mean..look at me?
swindle you out of your hard earned money? NO! So for those who don't
video free....go buy the damn thing! Make me richer!
::Just then a storm of cups of soda begin filling the ring...many
to see if they can hit him without a care about the video.::
Dane: OUCH! FUCKER! I didn't say a full cup of ice.....good god.
::Dane rubs his head which has a big bump now.::
Dane: I tell ya some people...well since everyone and their grandmother
nailed me with a cup....hmm...
::Dane looks into the audience and sees an elderly woman in the front
Dane: T-rex....come up here...your the winner.
::The old woman is hurried up into the ring.::
Dane: Whats your name?
Old Woman: It doesn't matter what my name is!
::Dane pauses and looks at the woman.::
Dane: .........................you watch that piddley crap?
Old Woman: Yes. Its my fav.
::Dane slaps his forehead.::
Dane: Alright get the hell out of my ring before I push your wrinkley
through the back of your head ya goofey old prune!
::Dane kicks the old woman in the ass on her way out of the ring.::
Dane: Alright....one last try...
::Dane looks at an obese woman the size of Cleveland.::
Dane: YOU! Hippo....come on down! Looks like you need this more than
::The fat woman runs down to the ring, making many a man puke from the
Dane: Alright....here is your video fatty...and ya know what...since I
you've probably never had the pleasure of being with a man...just for
days when you need a fix...you can twiddle in the middle a little to a
picture of "Genetic Perfection" Dane Wilt. Here...take my Semi-nude
as a special gift!
Fat Woman: WOW THANKS DANE!
Dane: Yeah whatever, just don't hock it off to get money for Burger
Fat Woman: Aw...
::The fat woman walks out of the ring with her head down....Dane
Dane: Alright announcer bitch....lets get this fun house going.
Announcer: And his opponent.....call him "The Legend"....call him "The
Phoenix"....just call him what he says he is..."one of the IWOs
greatest"....former IWO Television champion...former three time IWO
Team champion...former three time IWO World Heavyweight champion....he
::The lights dim to a gray color as "Sober" by TOOL begins to play over
loud speakers of the arena. The fans errupt as Phelen Kell walks out
IWO Ramp and looks down into the ring as fireworks go off all around
has a serious look upon his face as he stands on the ramp with a
Phelen: Dane...Dane...Dane......I've got a little surprise for you
brotha'. You know...those special stipulations were never
you know why? Because I wanted to announce them myself. You see...the
stipulations are "Legends Law" which means...what I say...goes....
::Dane looks stunned.::
Dane: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?
Phelen: Oh..uh....by the way...
::Phelen pulls out a piece of paper.::
Phelen: Umm.....Chairman Dane....is uh.....a great guy...and he thinks
world of President Jamie. So he deserves a raise....
GP: He bardered with Chairman Dane!
JT: And the Chairman gave in for pretty cheap there didn't he?
GP: HAHA! Yes he did!
Phelen: Shut up Dane. Let me finish...and my law is....this is a no
barred...anything goes...go anywhere you want, knock down drag out
Street Fight. And there must be a winner!
Dane: Thats pathetic Kell! Totally pathetic!
Phelen: And why is that?
Dane: Because anyone could just come down and help me and they can't
any form of trouble!
Phelen: Oh.....well ya see I did think of that....if you'll notice all
the building and at every exit there is an armed to the tooth Navy Seal
photos of each of your buddies Dane. And if any of them do decide to
involved tonight, they're gonna have to go through those guys first.
::The fans go nuts.::
Phelen: I don't beat you tonight Dane...and I'll hang up the trunks for
That is a garuntee. So lets do this.
Dane: Wait, wait, wait....thats a garuntee?
Phelen: You have my word.
Dane: Hehe....you got it...this. lets do
::The bell rings as Phelen slides inside of the ring.::
GP:I hate to do it now folks but we gotta take a break!
SBW:The tapes are rolling so you won't miss a minute of this great
GP: And here we go right away folks! We start off with Wilt stomping
Kell! Just pounding on his back! Kell gets to his knees and grabs Wilts
whipping him to the ground by it. Phelen to his feet now drops on top
Wilt and begins punching him! Wilt rolls over onto his stomach to crawl
but is stopped! Phelen has him by his badly bleached blonde hair! He is
smashing his face into the mat! Now he's smearing Wilts face on the
JT: Ouch...mat burn sucks.
SBW: Its not as bad as what a whip and a Cow Prod can do to ya...trust
::JT looks at Stinky.::
SBW: What? Oh tell me you've never tried S & M before!
JT: Uh..no...the thought of some woman kicking my ass to get me off
idea of fun.
SBW: Oh your dominant...I can tell.
JT: How can you tell?
GP: Back to the match for god sake! Kell has Wilt up, he slings him
ropes and runs at him with a jumping knee lift that sends both men over
top rope! I think he just about took Danes head off with that manuever
Dear god! Both men are now on the outside. Kell landed on his feet..he
Dane by the hair. He has him in for a bulldog headlock. Whats he doing?
He ran toward the corner post and rammed Dane into it head first! Dane
the ground clutching his head! Phelen is going to the Zimbabweian
table and taken one of their chairs. He sits Dane up! BAM BAM BAM! OH
THREE MORE SHOTS TO THE HEAD WITH THE DAMN CHAIR! AND HE IS STILL
WITH IT! THE CHAIR JUST LITERALLY FELL APART! DANE IS BUSTED OPEN!
JT: NO! NO! NO! Dane get up damn it! You could rid us of Kell for
sake! GET UP!
SBW: Phelen does not look like a happy camper. I think I hit the nail
head with my assumption. Kells out for blood. even putting his career
JT: Shut the hell up.
SBW: Don't say the H word. This is family television.
JT: FUCK YOU!
SBW: HEY! I will not tolerate that rude language. I'm telling Chairman
GP: Kell has Wilt by the throat now....he has his thumbs pressed in on
throat....you can see "Genetic Perfections" face turning purple. He
breath! He's gonna kill him! OW! Dane Wilt with a low blow! Kell is on
ground now! Both men are. You can't even see Dane Wilts face, all there
a hideous shade of red from the blood pumping while Dane was being
JT: I thought you said his face was purple?
GP: I did...the blood started pumping out then.
GP: Shut up. Go make fun of someone.
GP: Dane now getting to his feet, he looks a bit wobbley folks. Phelen
down. He must've hit him with a pretty solid shot there. Dane is now up
avengance though as he begins to stomp on Kells face. He lifts him up
throws him back first into the guard rail. Kell drops to the ground
his back from the pain. But Dane isn't done. He has pulled a table out
under the ring, he sets it up now and picks Phelen up. He sits Phelen
table, in a sitting position. Dane now...up to the apron, he lifts
up....what is this? DANE HAS PHELEN UP FOR A CRADLE PILE DRIVER! THIS
BREAK PHELENS NECK! HE DROVE HIM THROUGH THE TABLE! PHELEN KELL IS
PHELEN KELL IS DEAD! HE IS NOT MOVING! DANE GOES FOR THE FIRST PIN OF
Referee: 1.....2.....KICK OUT!
JT: HOW DID HE KICK OUT?
GP: I DON'T KNOW! BUT HE DID! He lifts Phelen up, Phelen falls back to
ground. That crash took alot out of him. Dane doesn't know what to
looking around to the referee to see what he should do. The referee
sure. Kell isn't moving.
JT: He broke his neck! HAHAHA!
SBW: THAT ISN'T FUNNY!
GP: WAIT! Kell is moving ever so slightly...he is yelling at the
keep the match going. Dane lays down on Phelens back and applies a
Clutch manuever! Phelen is not tapping though! He is not tapping! He is
Dane: Come on you son of a bitch just give up!
Phelen: Rot in hell!
GP: Phelen Kell has broken free! He broke free! But he is stil just
the floor! What is Dane doing now? He just disconnected a piece of the
guardrail! He is setting it on its side like a bridge between another
of guard rail and the ring apron! He's laying Kell on the hard steel!
OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS! KELL MOVED! KELL MOVED OUT
JT: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
SBW: Dane just bounced like a rubber doll off of that steel guard rail!
men are lying motionless on the floor now!
GP: This is insane! We haven't even left the ringside area and both of
men have sustained some form of injury! Dane is screaming out loud and
clutching his side. Kell just isn't moving! Wait! Kell is showing signs
GP: Kell is having trouble standing up! He can't pull himself to his
SBW: There we go! Phelen is to his feet and is leaning against the
has to be in some insurmountable amounts of pain!
GP: Dane aswell.
GP: Phelen is crawling into the ring and standing up. He signals for a
that all you've got? Shake off the pain you little fuck! GET UP! GET
GP: Phelen is going outside the ring now! He lifts Wilt up and rolls
the ring. Phelen goes to the top rope now...oh but his legs just aren't
the challenge at the moment! Kell comes crashing off of the top rope.
SBW: Once again both men are down. Phelen lays his arm over Dane
Referee: 1.......2.....KICK OUT!
SBW: ANOTHER KICK OUT!
GP: Dane has kicked out again! Lets see what else these two can do to
eachother. Phelen begins to stand again. He lifts up Wilt now, he takes
to the ropes and lays Dane by his ribcage on the middle rope....whats
SBW: Oh no...he's gonna do a "Hang Man" on Dane!
SBW: Just watch!
GP: OH GOD! Phelen grabs Dane by the bottom of his feet and rolls them
the top rope twisting those tight cables over Danes rib cage crushing
SBW: People have to remember those aren't "ROPES" those are elevator
covered with a layer of rubber! There is NO give there! Danes ribs are
crushed worse than they already are!
GP: Dane is screaming again! Phelen is punching Dane in the head as he
screams. I don't think Dane is feeling the punches at all though! He's
feeling the pain of the ropes smashing in on him! Whats this?
JT: HAHAHAHA! I KNEW DANE HAD A PLAN!
GP: ITS APOLLO AND EVAN LEVINE IN NAVY SEAL ATTIRE! THE OTHER SEALS
PAYING ATTENTION! THEY THINK ITS JUST TWO OF THEIR OWN! THEY ARE IN THE
THEY JUST NAILED PHELEN FROM BEHIND! KELL GOES DOWN! OH MY GOD!
SBW: They're trying to help Dane out of the twisted ropes! They can't
them untangled! Oh no! They tried to pull them apart but all that
was Danes body slid down! The ropes are choking him! Wilts body is
around in the air like someone being hanged! Apollo and Evan Levine are
freaking out! They don't know what to do!
GP: Dane is out! He is out cold! They got the ropes off of him! Dane
the outside of the ring! Apollo and Evan look at eachother and then
Oh my god!
JT: THEY SCREWED IT UP!
GP: Kell is showing signs of life! He is crawling to the outside of the
he rolls and falls off of the apron on top of Dane!
GP: PHELEN KELL DID IT! HE KEPT HIS CAREER IN TACT! HE HAS TAKEN A
OVER DANE WILT IN THE PROCESS! Oh my god! We'll be right back!
::Scene cuts to the back and you see Chairman Dane he is sitting behind
desk he stairs into the camera and begins to talk.::
C.Dane:Ladies and gentlemen...tonight is becomeing a disapointment for
can't beleive how both the IWO superstars and staff memebers have been
acting. Greg Parker and JT..you boys are on thin ice as of right now.
Especially you JT...I can no longer tolerate such language on my family
Now I've been trying to secure a deal with Disney...and next HT the
executives will be visiting us...so we need to clean up our act for
Now I talked to President Jamie...and I'm sure he'd agree with me that
foul languge and ultra violence has to stop! This is your warning...if
anyone else violates this you'll have to deal with my censors!
::The scene is the locker room area. We see Dane Wilt standing with
and Evan Levine. Wilts ribs are taped up and the wound on his head is
bandaged, but the blood is seeping through the bandage.::
Dane: JESUS CHRIST! I give you one simple task! I knew everything that
had planned! I got you the attire...I told you what to do...and one
mishap occurs and you almost kill me because of it! THEN YOU RUN AWAY?
RUN AWAY? EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!
Apollo: Well we didn't know what else to do, you were out cold.
Dane: YOU SHOULDA BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF KELL! AND THREW MY
MOTHER...FUCKING.....OUT...COLD...BODY...ON TOP OF HIM! I COULDA WON!
Evan: Hey man take it easy, it was one mistake.
Dane: One mistake......one mistake? If the plan would have went
would have been rid of Phelen Kell forever...he put his fucking career
line! AND I LOST! I.....LOST!
Apollo: There'll be other matches Dane. Chill the hell out!
Dane: Ugh...why the hell do I even bother?
::Dane storms off into the Billion Dollar Promotion Locker room,
himself inside. Apollo and Evan Levine stand still just looking at
with looks of "hey, what could we have done anyway?" on their faces.::
::Scene cuts to Psycho Jay sitting alone in the Usual Suspects locker
Suddenly a knock comes at his door Psycho Jay looks weirdly at the
Psycho Jay: Gee golly...I hope that isn't John
::Psycho Jay picks up a large metal dildo and walks to the door and
open. Their stands John Wade.::
Psycho Jay:DIEEEE....wait....who are you?
John Wade:I'm John Wade...
John Wade:John Wade...
Psycho Jay:Are you like a janitor or something....
John Wade:NO! I'M JOHN WADE! YOU HUMPED MY HEAD LAST WEEK AT THE END OF
Psycho Jay:OHHHHHH! Hahaha...that was pretty funny huh?
John Wade:Riiiight...well anyways I just wanted you to know that I
anything against ya...I know it was just alittle initiation to the
put her their!
::Puts hand out to shake.::
Psycho Jay:Hey thanks for understanding your pretty cool man...
::John takes Jay's hand and slaps on the cross face chicken wing. Jay
screams out in pain and John keeps putting pressure on until Jay
passess out from the pain.::
John:Jay don't fuck with the Natural!
(We see a room filled with a bunch of teenage, pimple faced teenagers.
of them look really horny. Wonder why? We then cut in front of all the
teenagers and see Summer wearing the SKIMPY lingerie we saw earlier.
that explains the teenagers, and why they are all male and horny.
chained to giant case of condoms. Hey, this IS a family show! She
but she can't get away. We then see the entire Billion Dollar Promotion
standing in front of a podium with a mic on it.)
Dane Wilt: Well gentlemen, you are here for one purpose. That of course
in hopes of winning a night with this genuine WHORE, SUMMER!
Michael Dudley: Now, you have all purchased your raffle tickets, and we
about to have the drawing. First, let's introduce Summer to some of the
charming young men that she could "spend" a night with.
Apollo: First, we have some guy named Zach?
(We see a teenager walk onto the stage. He has greasy black hair from
washing it, pimples on his pimples, snot coming out of his nose, a pair
blue Jean shorts that are too small, and a Pokemon shirt.)
Brian Dudley: Here he is Summer! ZACH!
Dane Wilt: So Zach, what are you going to do if you win Summer?
Zach: Well, first she and I would have a romantic dinner of macaroni
cheese with ginger ale to wash the cheesy goodness down. Then, we'd
lights down and we'd watch my collection of all the Pokemon videos! Oh,
the sexy evening doesn't end there! After my parents go to bed, we'd go
cruise the Internet for a while! Just to get to know each other. Then,
fondle her breast with my masculine hands! Then, I'd kiss her! Then,
it on! Then.....OH DEAR! I'VE GOT TO GO CHANGE PANTS!
(Zach runs off.)
Brian Dudley: Thank you Zach! Now Summer, how does that romantic
Michael Dudley: I think she likes our friend Zach!
Evan Levine: Now, let's bring out another VERY sexy man! CHAD!
(Chad then walks onto the stage. He wears a Hostile Youth T-shirt and a
of blue jeans. His hair is green. Quite the stud. YEAH RIGHT!)
Evan Levine: Well Chad, what would you do if you won the night with
Chad: OH! I DON'T KNOW! THE ONLY REASON I'M HERE IS BECAUSE OF HOSTILE
THEY RULE! I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THEM! ASHTON CAIN RULES! PHELEN KELL
GOD! SUMMER CAN WAIT! I WANT TO MEET HOSTILE YOUTH!
Dane Wilt: Charming.
Brian Dudley: WELL! It's time to draw the numbers! Are you ready
(Brian Dudley reaches in a case full of tickets. He pulls one out and
Brian Dudley: And the winning numbers are! 9, 7, 3, 2, 3, 2, 1!
Voice From the Crowd: I WON!
(The crowd opens up to show the winner. EARTHQUAKE!)
Dane Wilt: Well Summer! Here's your winner and date for the night!
Earthquake: Cam own bebe! Lat's gew tew mi plewce!
(Summer passes out in fear. The Billion Dollar Promotion unchains
hands her to Earthquake with all the condoms.)
Dane Wilt: Now Earthquake, don't do anything we wouldn't do!
Michael Dudley: (Sarcastically.) WELL THAT NARROWS IT DOWN!
(We see Earthquake carry Summer out of the room.)
CAT BOWL DEATHMATCH II
?¿? vs. High Flyer
GP: FANS, THE NEXT ONE SHOULD BE A CLASSIC!
JT: YEAH! AND YOU KNOW THERE'S GOING TO BE BLOOD!
SBW: I really don't think there will be myself.
JT: How can you say that!?! THEY'RE GOING TO BE IN A BOWL FULL OF CATS!
PISSED OFF CATS!
SBW: Ill tempered if you please. I can't stand swearing, and neither
JT: NOBODY GIVES A F*CK ABOUT CHAIRMAN DANE!
SBW: Get your mouth out of the gutter!
JT: SHUT THE HELL UP! WHY DO YOU THINK THERE WILL BE NO BLOOD!?!
SBW: THIS IS CHAIRMAN DANE'S SHOW AND BLOOD IS SLIM TO NONE HERE!
JT: HE CAN'T STOP PEOPLE FROM BLEEDING!
SBW: YES HE CAN! HE'S CHAIRMAN DANE! HE RULES!
GP: Well, let's agree to disagree. JT, there will be tons of blood in
thing. GALLONS! Skunkey, there will be no blood because Chairman Dane
like blood on his show and he rules.
SBW: I'll but it.
JT: I WON'T! THERE WILL BE BLOOD BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO WRESTLE IN PISSED
SBW: ILL TEMPERED!
GP: Let's go to the ring!
Ring Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE FOLLOWING CONTEST, SCEDUELED
ONE FALL, IS THE VERY SPECIAL CAT BOWL DEATHMATCH!
(The fans pop. We see the lights start flickering as a giant bowl is
into the ring. We see a TON of cats in it. All of them hiss as they are
lowered. One jumps out into the crowd and attacks a young fan. Security
in and pulls the cat off as the young fan is pulled away knocked out.)
JT: SEE! I TOLD YOU THEY WERE PISSED!
SBW: Chairman Dane will be sure to edit that part out. Along with all
potty mouth language.
JT: I seriously think he could care less.
SBW: You'd be surprised! He and me had dinner a few nights ago, and he
talking about giving you the axe!
JT: You did not have dinner with him!
SBW: Well......no. But if I did, he would have talked about giving you
JT: I doubt it.
GP: Back to the ring!
Ring Announcer: FIRST! COMING TO THE RING AT THIS TIME! HE STANDS 6
AND WEIGHS A 255 POUNDS! HE IS A LEGEND IN THE IWO AND A FORMER PACIFIC
WORLD CHAMPION! HE IS THE MASTER OF THE MYSTERY DEATH DRIVER!
("Take the Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine starts as ?¿? walks
the ring. The fans give him a HUGE pop. Behind him walks.....GOOPY THE
MONKEY! THE RATINGS ARE GOING THROUGH THE ROOF! WHO WANTS TO BE A
AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON THE IWO AND GOOPY THE MONKEY!)
GP: Listen to the fans cheer for this crowd!
SBW: I haven't heard a pop this big sense Chairman Dane came out last.
JT: OH GIVE IT A REST!
GP: Yeah. The fans HATE Chairman Dane!
SBW: Are you kidding!?! The ovation that Chairman Dane gets puts Phelen
AND ?¿? to shame.
GP: THE FANS BOO THE MAN!
SBW: I've only heard cheers for Chairman Dane from these fine people
JT: STOP LYING! YOU KNOW THE FANS HATE HIM!
SBW: The fans hate YOU JT.
GP: I can't argue with that. BACK TO THE RING!
Ring Announcer: NEXT! COMING TO THE RING AT THIS TIME! HE STANDS A 6
AND WEIGHS A 204 POUNDS! HE IS THE SELF PROCLAIMED GREATEST
ALL TIME AND A FORMER IC TAG, TV, AND US CHAMPION! HE IS THE MASTER OF
FLYING MOON SHOT! HE.....IS....HIGH FLYER!
("Biggest and the Best" by Clawfinger starts as High Flyer makes his
the ring with a mixed reaction from the crowd. He doesn't seem to care
any of the boos. He is more into the cheers.)
JT: I like this High Flyer. He's hungry after losing the US title to
Shack. I'm picking him to win this thing.
GP: ARE YOU CRAZY!?!
SBW: Yeah JT. Even I'm with GP on this one! High Flyer has no chance of
winning this thing! He's going up against ?¿?! The same man that gets a
that is close to Chairman Dane!
GP: Actually, that's not why ?¿? is such a heavy favorite.
SBW: OF COURSE IT IS! IT INVOLVED CHAIRMAN DANE!
GP: The reason ?¿? is the heavy favorite is......well......HE'S ?¿?!
legend! He's a hall of famer! He's one of the best in the IWO today!
SBW: I still think him getting a pop close to Chairman Dane is why he
GP: OH SHUT UP!
SBW: We don't use that kind of language on this show! Say quite with a
passion if you please.
GP: NO! I WON'T SAY THAT! I'LL SAY SHUT UP IF I WANT TO! DON'T ACT LIKE
SBW: All I'm doing is following Chairman Dane's orders.
JT: SHUT THE F*CK UP YOU PECKER!
GP: Well, both men now get into the cat bowl, and this match starts!
JT: As expected, the cats are going after both men from the second this
GP: This is just like the original cat bowl match when the Beverly
Bruisers faced against the Prep Kids. Let's hope both these men can get
cats off themselves!
JT: It seems that we've got High Flyer grabbing at one of the cats that
biting him....GOOD IDEA! He's now beating ?¿? with the cat!
GP: OH! THAT'S WHY WE'RE RATED MA! THE CATS HEAD JUST CAME OFF!
JT: Aren't you going to say anything Skunkey?
GP: I guess not.
JT: Well, I don't think the cats like the idea of their comrads head
off....they are all now attacking High Flyer.
GP: This is really giving ?¿? the chance he needs to destroy High
JT: It looks like ?¿? is joining the cats and is putting the boots to
Flyer......?¿? now goes to the top of the cat bowl......FOOT STOMP OFF
TOP OF THE CAT BOWL!
GP: ?¿? landed that move right on High Flyer's ribs! He could puncture
High Flyer's ribs!
JT: Hey, that could cause High Flyer to die!
GP: Any thoughts Stinkey?
JT: What is up with him?
GP: Beats me.
JT: Well, ?¿? now pulls up a scrarred High Flyer.....he puts him on his
shoulders....DVD ONTO A PILE OF CATS!
GP: ?¿? with a cover!
GP: High Flyer just won't stay down!
JT: ?¿? now pulls High Flyer up.....HE SETS HIM UP FOR THE MYSTERY
GP: NO! HIGH FLYER SLIDES OUT......DROP KICK TO THE BACK OF ?¿?'s HEAD!
JT: This can't be good for ?¿?.......he is on then ground, and the cats
GP: This could bring on a lot of blood!
JT: Well, even though he is a c*ck sucker, what do you think Skunkey?
JT: WHY WON'T HE SAY ANYTHING!?!
GP: I don't know!
JT: AND THE CATS DIVE ON ?¿?!
GP: THEY ARE GOING AFTER THE MASK!
JT: We may get to see who ?¿? really is!
GP: WAIT! GOOPY IS ON THE TOP OF THE BOWL!
Goopy: OOGA BOOGA!
JT: GOOPY DOVE ONTO THE CATS! HE'S TRYING TO HELP ?¿?!
GP: HE'S DOING IT! THE CATS ARE LEAVING ?¿? ALONE!
JT: OH NO! High Flyer just grabbed Goopy and cracked his head against
bowl! He's busted open!
GP: High Flyer now throws a knocked out Goopy to the cats! They're
the knocked out Goopy!
JT: High Flyer now goes to the top of the bowl!......FLYING MOON SHOT
GP: High Flyer hit it perfectly!
JT: HIGH FLYER COVERS!
1......2......3NO! YES! NO! YES! NO!
JT: A MILLIMETER AWAY FROM A WIN FOR HIGH FLYER!
GP: What can he do to beat ?¿?!?!
SBW: I can't believe he called me a pecker!
GP: SO HE CAN SPEAK!
SBW: HOW DARE HE CALL ME A PECKER!
JT: I liked it better when he couldn't talk.
SBW: NOT ONLY DID YOU BREAK CHAIRMAN DANE'S RULES, YOU INSULTED ME!
B. WIZZLECHEEKS! I'LL HAVE YOUR HIDE FOR THIS!
GP: Back to the match!
JT: High Flyer now lifts up ?¿?......PILE DRIVER!
GP: THE CAT BOWL IS CRACKED FROM ?¿?'s HEAD HITTING IT! ?¿?'s HEAD IS
JT: At some point, he's going to need to take that mask off.
SBW: YOU CALLED ME A PECKER!
JT: GIVE IT A REST!
SBW: FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!
GP: High Flyer now lifts ?¿? up......he puts him up....POWER SLAM!
JT: HIGH FLYER COVERS!
JT: WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO STOP ?¿?!?!
GP: High Flyer climbs to the top of the cat bowl again......SENTON
BOMB.....?¿? MOVES! HIGH FLYER JUST CRACKED THE CAT BOWL AGAIN WITH A
JT: If ?¿? wants to win, he needs to go for a cover!
GP: LOOK AT THIS! ?¿? is trying to save Goopy! He's going after the
Fans I hate to do this but we gotta take a break...but the tape is
JT: ?¿? is now throwing the cats out of the bowl! Goopy is free and now
off bloody and beaten!
GP: NO! THE CATS ARE NOW GOING AFTER ?¿? AGAIN!
JT: High Flyer is now up and going after ?¿?. WAIT! THE CATS ARE
BOTH MEN NOW!
SBW: WHY DID YOU CALL ME A PECKER!?!
JT: JUST DROP IT!
SBW: NO! I WANT TO FIND OUT WHY!
JT: YOU CAN GO TO HELL YOU MOTHER F*CKING C*CK SUCKER!
GP: Now, that is pushing it just a DROP JT.
JT: I DON'T CARE!
SBW: YOU SHOULD! CHAIRMAN DANE WILL GET YOU!
JT: CHAIRMAN DANE IS GAY!
SBW: GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOU SOUL!
JT: NOBODY CARES ABOUT CHAIRMAN DANE!
SBW: YES THEY DO!
GP: WILL SOMEONE BESIDES ME COMMENTATE THIS MATCH!?!
GP: GOOD! NOW!
JT: Both High Flyer and ?¿? are now teaming up to take out these cats!
GP: They're doing it! All the cats are down and out!
JT: Both men now charge at each other!
GP: DOUBLE CLOSELINE! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!
JT: Well, I guess we've got a lot of time to kill.
JT: How's it been?
JT: Same here.
JT: Are they up yet?
GP: Nope. Both men are still down, here LIVE on Hostile Takeover!
JT: That's good.
SBW: Why did you call me a pecker?
JT: Because you are one.
SBW: I'M GOING TO GET YOU!
GP: AND HIGH FLYER IS UP!
JT: Later Skunkey.
GP: High Flyer now climbs to the top of the bowl........what's he
JT: He's signaling someone in the rafters.
SBW: IT'S STING!
GP: Where did we get this guy?
JT: Ask Chairman Dane!
GP: Skinkey, don't you know you're not supposed to watch competition?
SBW: Why is that?
GP: Chairman Dane doesn't like it.
SBW: AHHHHHH! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! I PROMISE!
JT: NO! IT'S NOT COOL! CHAIRMAN DANE IS GOING TO CAN HIS ASS!
SBW: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GP: Well, High Flyer signals again. LOOK!
JT: TUNA FALLS FROM THE CEILING AND FILLS THE CAT BOWL!
GP: ?¿? is covered in the tuna!
JT: LOOK AT THE CATS! THEY'RE JUMPING BACK INTO THE BOWL AND ARE
EAT THE TUNA! THEY'RE ALL OVER ?¿?!
GP: High Flyer just stands and laughs! FLYING MOON SHOT! HE NAILS A
AND BEATEN ?¿? WITH THE FLYING MOON SHOT ON THE DOT! HIGH FLYER COVERS!
GP: HIGH FLYER WINS!
SBW: HIGH FLYER WINS!?!
JT: HIGH FLYER WINS! I TOLD YOU SO!
GP: I CAN'T BELEIVE IT! WHAT AN UPSET!
JT: AN UPSET, BUT A WIN FOR HIGH FLYER NONE THE LESS!
GP: THIS IS A HUGE STEP IN HIGH FLYER'S CAREER! WHAT A SHOCKER!
JT: AND WHO TOLD YOU!?!
GP: You did JT.
GP: HAHA! I WAS RIGHT! GP AND SKONKEY WERE WRONG! PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE
SMOKE IT! HIGH FLYER BEATS ?¿?!
("Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit starts as Billy Larson walks toward
ring. The fans give him a lot of heat. No Summer, and the mostly male
gets pretty riled up. Larson gets in the ring and grabs a mic.)
Billy Larson: WILT! BRING SUMMER OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!
("Money" by KMFDM starts as the Billion Dollar Promotion walks out on
ramp. Apollo holds a screaming Summer, who still wears the SKIMPY
Dane Wilt: Hang on Larson. Calm down! After all, we're buds!
Billy Larson: SHUT THE F*CK UP WILT! I HATE YOU!
Dane Wilt: And all this time I thought we were buds. Well, what seems
Billy Larson: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT THE PROBLEM IS! I WANT SUMMER
Dane Wilt: Well, you're going to have to pardon Summer. She's just been
pleasured by the sexiest man in the entire IWO. Excluding the members
Promotion of course. I'm talking about Earthquake of course!
Billy Larson: YOU DIDN'T!
Dane Wilt: Oh, I didn't do anything! Summer and Earthquake were the
did the whole thing! I guess she was just attracted by his sexy body.
maybe she was just tired of you and your millimeter peter.
Billy Larson: I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!
Dane Wilt: Well, let's talk to the man behind the actions! HERE'S
(We see Earthquake sitting on a bed with nothing on. THANK GOD THEY
BELOW THE WAIST. Well, let's put it this way. Earthquake is pretty much
Dane Wilt: Well, even though I hate his boss, I figured that Summer and
were MADE for each other!
Earthquake: OH! Tat wuz mo fuwn than tha carnivale.
Dane Wilt: You see! Both people are happy! Summer, any thoughts?
Dane Wilt: Damn. Can't you say anything else? Well, I'll take that as a
was breath taking."
Billy Larson: I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!
Dane Wilt: Well, since it's time for Earthquake's nap time, I guess we
give Summer back. Apollo, give her to him.
(Apollo walks down the aisle with Summer over his shoulder. He then
into Billy Larson. Larson takes Summer and sits her up.)
Billy Larson: Summer......are you okay?
Summer: HE WAS SO FAT!
(Summer passes out in, well, she just passes out.)
Dane Wilt: OH NO! SUMMER'S NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD! WAIT! I KNOW HOW TO
All of the Promotion: DROP IT!
(Just then, hundreds of gallons of liquid fall onto the ring douses
and Billy Larson.)
Michael Dudley: Hey, what's that smell?
Dane Wilt: Gee, I don't know!
Brian Dudley: Well, that smell is starting to wreak over here.
Evan Levine: GOOD GOD THAT STINKS!
Apollo: Yeah. That most be the most foul smelling thing ever!
Dane Wilt: OH YEAH! I REMEMBER WHAT IT IS NOW!
Michael Dudley: And it would be........?
Dane Wilt: PISS!
Michael Dudley: So, in a sense, we just pissed on Billy Larson and
Dane Wilt: In a way.
Michael: Well gosh darn!
Dane Wilt: Well, we've got to get going Larson. Before we go, we've got
of insight for Summer.
All of the Promotion: ONCE YOU'VE HAD FAT YOU NEVER GO BACK!
("Money" by KMFDM starts as the Promotion leaves to A TON OF HEAT FROM
FANS! MORE HEAT THAN AT ANY OTHER POINT IN THE SHOW! We go to Billy
covering Summer in the ring. Both are still covered in urine. We see
Larson look up and scowl at the entrance ramp.)
Title Vs. Title vs. Zombie!
North America title vs. TV title
John "Vampyre" McRae vs. Psycho Jay
If John McRae wins he gets nothing but to keep his title. If Psycho
wins he receives the North American title and McRae will become the TV
champion. Zombie has asked to be in this match, so if he wins no
change hands and Zombie will gain nothing except bragging rights. No
GP: FANS! HERE WE GO FOR THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH!
SBW: YES! This match is going to be great! Chairman Dane is such a
He's like God or something!
JT: Well, I've got to say that I'm looking foward to this too. We've
three guys that aren't rookies, aren't jobbers, and all of them have
chance to win the title! Well, except for Zombie. Even if he wins, he
get the title.
GP: Too bad for him.
SBW: Are you questioning Chairman Dane's desision?
GP: No. I was merely saying that it's too bad for Zombie, because if he
which he could, he can't get the North American title that he deserves.
SBW: No. I think you were spreading propoganda against Chairman Dane.
going to be sure he finds out about this!
GP: And what will he do to me?
SBW: Well.....A LOT OF STUFF! He is the execuetive bad, um, bottom!
JT: Don't you mean ass?
SBW: YOU SAID A SWEAR WORD! I'M TELLING CHAIRMAN DANE! HE'LL GET YOU
JT: Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass!
SBW: Man, I hope the cenors caught that.
GP: Yeah Stinkey. We may lose our mature audience rating.
SBW: I detect a hint of sarcasm in your voice.
GP: You detect good.
JT: LET'S GO TO THE RING!
Ring Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE NEXT MATCH, SCHDEULED FOR ONE
IS FOR THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!
(The fans pop.)
Ring Announcer: FIRST! COMING TO THE RING AT THIS TIME! HE STANDS 6
AND WEIGHS 289 POUNDS! HE IS THE MASTER OF THE HEART PEIRCING STAKE AND
THE CURRENT NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! HE IS JOHN....."VAMPYRE" MCRAE!
("Mouth" by Bush starts as John McRae walks toward the ring. The fans
him a mixed reaction as he walks toward the ring.)
Ring Announcer: NEXT! COMING TO THE RING! HE (Microphone goes dead, so
can't hear the stats.) HE IS THE MASTER OF THE ZOMBIE-PLEX! HE IS A
THE IWO! HE.....IS.......ZOMBIE!
("Zombie" by Joe Mama starts as Zombie walks to the ring. The crowd
heat as he gets in the ring and stares down McRae.)
Ring Announcer: FINALLY! COMING TO THE RING! HE STANDS 6 FOOT 8 AND
323 POUNDS! HE IS THE MASTER OF THE SUPERBOMB AND THE LEADER OF THE
SUSPECTS! HE.....IS....PSYCHO JAY!
("Divine" by Korn starts as Psycho Jay walks out with Vincent. NO, not
Vincent. Not Virgil/Vincent/Curly Bill/Shane. PSYCHO JAY'S VINCENT! The
with the big dick! Yeah. Yeah him. Anyway, the crowd gives them a mixed
reaction as they walk to the ring. Jay also brings his TV title with
JT: I like Jay in this one. He's been looking good as TV champion, and
think he'll make a good North American champ.
GP: Are you serious? The man is a lame duck champion! The only wins
gotten as champion are DQ or count outs! Everytime someone is beating
Vincent interferes and he gets DQed! In fact, Phelen Kell beat the man
the 1, 2, 3, but since it was a non-title match, Kell didn't get the
JT: Quite bitch!
SBW: YOU USED ANOTHER NAUGHTY WORD! THIS IS WHY I DON'T LET MY CHILDREN
GP: You have a family?
JT: GOD! THAT'S A SHOCKER! Skunky, who would waste there time laying
mean, someone should have stopped that to see that your genes are
to further generations!
SBW: I HAVE A LOVING WIFE AND THREE CHILDREN!
JT: What does your wife do?
SBW: She, uh, well, actually she's a mail order bride.
JT: GOOD GOD!
SBW: Don't use the Lord's name in vain!
JT: WHAT THE F*CK IS UP WITH THAT!?!
SBW: Oh for the love of Pete!
JT: Let me guess. You have mail order children too?
SBW: No. They've got Wizzlecheeks blood flowing through them.
JT: Man, they must get beat up a lot with the name Wizzlecheeks.
SBW: YOU GOT MY NAME RIGHT!
JT: No I didn't!
SBW: YES YOU DID!?!
JT: I didn't, did I GP?
GP: Let's go to the replay!
JT: Man, they must get beat up a lot with the name Wizzlecheeks.
SBW: YOU SEE! YOU DID GET IT RIGHT!
SBW: NOW I CAN INVITE YOU OVER TO MY WEEKLY FONDUE PARTY!
JT: I don't want to f*cking come!
SBW: YOU SWORE AGAIN! NOW I HAVE TO RETRACT YOUR INVITATION! IT RHYMED
GP: You don't get out much, do you Winky?
JT: AND THE MATCH HAS STARTED!
GP: Psycho Jay runs at McRae with a closeline.......McRae goes down
JT: Zombie and Jay each grab one of McRae's legs.....DOUBLE WISH BONE
SBW: THAT SHOULD BE CENSORED! IT INVOLVED THE MALE PENIS!
GP: Gee Stinkey, what did you expect? A female penis?
SBW: YOU CAN'T SAY PENIS LIKE THAT!
JT: YOU JUST DID!
SBW: NO! It was in a "wholesome" manner.
GP: Be that as it may, McRae is still being double teamed.....Zombie
him while Jay lays in the punches....this could be over early for
JT: Jay runs into the ropes.......he bounces back......DROP KICK, BUT
MOVED! ZOMBIE IS OUT OF THE RING!
GP: MCRAE ROLLS JAY OVER FOR A COVER!
GP: McRae almost pulled that one out!
JT: Well, almost doesn't count in this business.
SBW: I don't like this idea of McRae. He's a "Vampyre with a Y" which
involves blood. I don't think Chairman Dane is in favor of it.
GP: Is that why you are against it? Because of Chairman Dane?
SBW: You betcha!
GP: You lead a sad life my friend.
JT: Back to action now......McRae grabs Jay....DDT!
GP: McRae now goes to the top rope......moonsault onto Jay!
JT: McRae covers again!
GP: Jay just want give up!
JT: McRae now pulls up Jay.....he throws him into the ropes.....Jay
the throw.....McRae bounces.....MCRAE RIGHT INTO THE BOOT OF ZOMBIE
ON THE RING APRON!
GP: Jay now puts McRae on his shoulders......Zombie goes to the
top....DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON MCRAE!
JT: Jay covers!
SBW: SO CLOSE TO A WIN!
JT: Yet so far.
GP: Zombie now lifts Zombie up......Jay runs at them.....DUDLEY DEATH
JT: Look at this! Zombie has gone outside.....he now throws a chair
GP: THIS CAN'T BE GOOD!
JT: Zombie sets up the chair near the turnbuckle.......Zombie now
McRae over to the turnbuckles while Jay goes up.....ZOMBIE HANDS JAY
GP: JAY'S SETTING UP FOR THE SUPERBOMB (Top Rope Powerbomb)! JAY DRIVES
JT: FRANKENSTEINER BY MCRAE! MCRAE SWITCHED THE MOVE IN MID AIR AND
INTO A FRANKENSTEINER ONTO THE CHAIR!
GP: MCRAE COVERS!
1......2....3STOPPOED BY ZOMBIE!
GP: MCRAE HAD IT WON, BUT ZOMBIE STOPPED THE COUNT! GOOD GOD!
SBW: DON'T USE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN!
GP: I WILL IF I WANT TO! I DON'T SUCK UP TO CHAIRMAN DANE!
JT: Good for you GP.....Zombie grabs McRae and sets him up....POWERBOMB
GP: Zombie covers McRae!
GP: How McRae is going is beyond me!
JT: Well, in the time it took to do that Psycho Jay is now back
he and Zombie set McRae up.....DOUBLE POWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE!
SBW: HE COULD BE DEAD! CHAIRMAN DANE WON'T BE HAPPY ABOUT A DEATH ON
GP: Well, this isn't good for Jay.....I mean, he can't win the title on
JT: I don't think Zombie really cares though......after all, he gets
even if he wins this thing.
SBW: He get's pride.
JT: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
GP: Jay now slides outside the ring and grabs McRae....Jay throws McRae
into the ring.....Zombie puts McRae onto his shoulders......Jay goes to
top.....JAY BLOCKBUSTERS MCRAE OFF ZOMBIE!
JT: Jay covers!
GP: AN INCH MORE AND WE WOULD HAVE A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!
SBW: McRae just won't stay down!
GP: Good for him.
JT: How can McRae stay in this thing?......It's pretty much two on one
GP: Zombie grabs the chair and winds back.....he swings.....MCRAE DUCKS
ZOMBIE HITS JAY! JAY IS OUT COLD!
SBW:McRae goes for a spinning heel kick but Zombie ducks it. McRae
back to his feet and ZOMBIE JUST LAID HIM OUT WITH THE CHAIR TOO! NOW
IS CALLING FOR A MIC...
Zombie:DAVIS... OH DAVIS.. YOUR LITTLE KILROY BUDDY HERE IS ABOUT TO
GP:Zombie is looking down at Psycho Jay and John McRae....and he just
Psycho Jay ontop of John McRae....1....2....3! Psycho Jay wins!
Ring Announcer:Your winner and new North American Champion Psycho Jay!
::The scene cuts to the back and you see Zombie walking away from the
He has a pissed off look on his face and he has a steel chair at his
Zombie:DAVIS! GET YOUR PUSSY ASS OUT HERE AND MEET YOUR FUCKING MAKER!
::Zombie kicks open a door and you see Harlequin Phelen Kells manager
a shower....he screams and covers his privates.::
Zombie:HAHA! NOW THAT IS SMALL!
::Zombie slams the door shut and keeps walking. He keeps walking and
comes to Earthquake standing alone in the hall. Zombie walks up to
Zombie:EARTHQUAKE! HAVE YOU SEEN TONY DAVIS....
Earthquake:Uhhhhh...he in dere! (points to a locker room)
::Zombie runs up to the locker room and kicks it open. He sees someone
sitting on a chair and walks behind him and smacks him upside the head
steel chair. The guy falls and it's Evan Levine! Zombie looks down at
with a bit of surprise but you can tell that he actually really doesn't
GP:Zombie just laid out Evan Levine! That isn't gonna make Dane Wilt
SBW:WAIT! Out of the showers comes Apollo he has a bong in one hand and
dime bag in the other! Zombie turns around and lays him out with the
JT:NOOOOO! HE IS TAKEING OUT THE BILLION DOLLAR PROMOTION! WAIT DANE
RUNNING OUT OF NO WHERE AND GOES FOR THE VANDANEINATOR
ZOMBIE DUCKS...KICKS HIM IN THE STOMACH AND NAILS HIM WITH THE
Zombie:Heh you'll be getting another one of them on Monday Daney.
::Zombie walks out of the locker room and with his chair and keeps
Zombie:Davis....get your punk ass out here!
::Suddenly Davis appears on the other side of the arena and is
world title infront of him.::
Davis:Hey Zombie is this what your looking for....
Zombie:YOUR ASS IS MINE DAVIS!
::Zombie runs to the other side of the arena with his chair. Davis
around a corner and Zombie follows him.::
GP:Zombie rounds the corner and oh my god! ALL OF KILROY ARE BEATING
DOWN! STONE, MCRAE, MAD MAX, AND TONY DAVIS ARE MUGGING ZOMBIE! They
up and slam him into the wall. I never thought in a million years I
say this but Zombie is getting an ass kicking! Wait...Larson just came
running up and he just speared Stone to the ground and is beating the
out of him! Titan comes up...grabs Mad Max...X-PRESS! Titan grabs
they are tradeing punches...Zombie is on his feet...he grabs his chair
nails Davis in the face with it! Davis goes down hard! Zombie picks up
world title and holds it above his head...Davis get's up to one knee
nails Zombie with a low blow!
JT:Man everyone is getting an ass kicking.
SBW:JT! DON'T SAY THE A-WORD!
JT:Lick my nuts Stinky!
SBW:WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! LOOK JT! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR DISNEY
YOUR CHOICE! BUT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! IT'S BEEN A DREAM OF MINE
WAS A YOUNG LAD!
JT:Your a fucking faggot dude.
GP:Well folks that's all for this week...for Stinky B.Wizzelcheeks and
I'm Greg Parker...good night.
SBW:I'M NOT GAY!
"Hope you’re hungry! ‘Cause I got a Knuckle Sandwich... WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!"
- Lunchbox Larry