|WARPED70: West Coast Winter Night 1 - 1/11/13 - Los Angeles, CA - Westin Los Angeles Airport|
|WARPED Wrestling kicks off 2013 with our first ever tour of the West coast! We're going to meet the heat and say no to snow as we travel to California, Nevada, and Arizona for 5 stops this Winter. First stop - Los Angeles, California, at the Westin Los Angeles Airport ballroom! This is our debut show in Los Angeles so it's expected to be a good one!
We've got a new World Champion in William Wallace, a new Evolution Champion in Cameron MacNichol, and apparently a new power stable headed by General Manager Crowbar, consisting of Alexander StarrZoe and the Tag Team Champions, Carnival Connection. Speaking of the trio of active wrestlers, Crowbar has given them the night off!
The new stable will speak out and hopefully provide some explanation as to what their motives are! Plus, we'll see homegrown talent from the California area apart of our Guest Star feature. The World Champion will be in action, Leon Stone and Dylan Daniels will settle a Twitter challenge feud, and Crowbar will step into the ring with Hugo Strange in the world of FnX!
Plus: Joining the crew on commentary will be Visionary Wrestling Inc's Sam Strachon! AND - the first ever SQUARIAN winner will be announced. Who will earn the award and an upcoming World Title Shot?
FnX Grudge Match
Twitter Challenge Match - FnX Rules
Dark Match: Tigre Oro vs. Kameleon
*Card Subject to Change
|WARPED70: West Coast Winter Night 1 - 1/11/13 - Los Angeles, CA - Westin Los Angeles Airport|
Dark Match: Tigre Oro vs. Kameleon - Winner: Tigre Oro
You open the DVD of WARPED 70 and enter it into your favorite DVD player. The sounds of "Pogo" by Digitalism play as the WARPED Wrestling logo floats down from the top to the middle of the screen. Underneath that fades in to words "Play DVD". You click... and the show begins...
REACTIONS - Two Weeks Ago
We're taken to a video package of "Reactions" following the Not So Silent Night iPPV Event...
Maple Leaf Strike Force:
Opening Segment - Written By: Wallace & Daniels
Dylan Daniels enters the locker room with a large duffel bag slung over his right shoulder, and pulling a worn rolling suitcase behind him. The squeaking wheel catches the ear of the new WARPED World Heavyweight Champion, William Wallace. Other than Dylan, Wallace is the only person currently in the lockerroom. Dylan notices Wallace staring at him as he sits his possessions off in another corner.
Dylan Daniels: “First one here, last one to leave, the life of a World Champion, am I right?”
Dylan approaches Wallace offering his hand, Wallace allows a chuckle to escape as he reaches in and the two exchange a sturdy hand shake. Dylan points at Wallace’s newly acquired WARPED World Title.
Dylan Daniels: “Congratulations, she’s a beaut!”
William Wallace: A year of hard work got me this belt, you keep it up, you’ll be holdin gold around here too son.
In-Ring - Written By: Starr, Crowbar, CCNX, Wallace, Hugo, Joey
Randy Long: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Westin Los Angeles Airport Ballroom, welcome to WARPED 70, the first WARPED event of 2013, welcome to WARPED’s first show on the West Coast, WELCOME TO WARRRRPPPEEEDDD 70...."
The fans pop!
Randy Long: "We've got a great night of pro wrestling lined up for you including the brand new World Champion William Wallace in action!"
The fans cheer "Year of Wall-ace! Year of Wall-ace!"
Randy Long: "Plus the new Evolution Champion Cameron MacNichol will defend against Los Angeles' own ANTON CHASE!"
Anton Chase's name receives a huge pop from his hometown crowd!
Randy Long: "And before we get going, we here at WARPED would like to take this time to acknowledge one of the best wrestlers to ever step foot into this ring and any ring.. A man who contributed so much to the business and this company inparticular.. ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause for SwitchBlade!"
The fans chant "Thank you SwitchBlade!" Thank you SwitchBlade!" as the camera zooms in on the banner hung on the wall.
Randy Long: "Tha-"
“Who Shot Ya” by the Notorious B.I.G. blasts through the PA system and the open of WARPED first show of 2013, a special inaugural tour of the West Coast, is interrupted by Alexander StarrZoë, Crowbar, and the Carnival Connection. The four men walk in unison down the ramp as a chorus of boos showers them from the audience. Starr ignores the few outstretched hands of the fans leaning over the guardrail and hops up onto the apron, climbing the third rope and surveying the crowd. The three other men slide into the ring, Rottentreats is standing on the middle rope, silently staring down the fans, while Crowbar leans over the turnbuckle, trash talking the front row and Fresh just observes everything, focused on what’s at hand. StarrZoë jumps down from the turnbuckle and takes the microphone from Randy Long who was in the middle of his introduction.
Starr: “Get the hell out of my ring asshole, no one cares what you have to say. God, it’s nice to be in L.A., glad to have escaped that shitty weather back home, too bad I still have to deal with the same idiot fans here though. You know, I’ve always said my life would be complete, if only I made friends with an Australian and two clowns, everything would be perfect in the world...and here we are! So, everyone’s so excited about tonight; ‘oooh! WARPED is debuting on the West Coast! Oooh! It’s going to give us so much more exposure!’ Bullshit! It’s going to showcase the talent of the four individuals standing in front of you and it’s going to show people on this side of the country what those back East already know, no one else on this roster is fit to even lace our boots!”
Crowbar laughs and nods in agreement.
Starr: “Right about now, everyone is probably scratching their heads asking themselves ‘what the hell is going on? I thought Starr hated Crowbar and how did the Carnival Connection get involved in all of this?’ Well, the answer is quite simply really; you’re all much, MUCH stupider than you look. If you believed for a second that I wouldn’t help a friend in need, especially a very powerful, very well paying friend, you’re crazy. Rottentreats and Fresh, they just realized a solid business proposal when they saw one. It’s all a matter of what’s good for the goose ends up being good for a select few in the gander, the rest of you could fall out of the sky, we don’t give a fuck.”
The crowd starts chanting “SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP” *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* repeatedly.
Starr: “Ain’t that a true bitch? A few months ago, these people were cheering their hearts out for me, but it just goes to show you this business doesn’t love you. The fans, the locker room, they all turn their back on you when you become successful and make a few dollars. You people can hate it all you’d like, but there’s no denying the success and power that stands before you. Now, a few major questions probably hang in the minds of the boys in the locker rooms and the fans that saw Not So Silent Night. I’ve been hearing a lot of chatter, a lot of talk, I want to address it. First and foremost, did I retire SwitchBlade? I don’t know, that’s up for debate. I don’t think I dealt the career ending blow, so I don’t think he retired solely because I beat him, he walked away from the ring on his own devices, seemed stable to me. That’s not to say however that I didn’t beat SwitchBlade. I’ll be damned if anyone is going to take that from me, I whipped his ass. I said it days before Not So Silent Night, and I’ll say it now; the torch has been passed, I’ve earned my success thus far, and since beating Switchy, I’ve earned the spotlight in WARPED and all the success that comes with it.”
Crowbar nods, grabbing a microphone of his own and holding up a hand to pause Starr.
Crowbar: “Turns out that I have the perfect opportunity for you to claim that success Alex. Word came down from on high earlier this afternoon that a winner has been crowned for the first ever WARPED Squarian winner. The Squarian award of course comes along with a guaranteed contract for a World Championship match at the discretion of the Squarian winner. Alex, it is my honor and the honor of WARPED Wrestling and all of WARPED’s fans around the world to announce that you are the first ever Squarian winner!”
Crowbar begins clapping towards Starr, pointing at him with a cheesy grin on his face.
StarrZoë beams in excitement, jumping up and down, over-selling his joy.
Starr: “Oh! Oh! I never...I....I NEVER WIN ANYTHING! I’m so excited!”
The crowd once again chants “SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP” *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* repeatedly.
Starr: “I swear to Christ, if one more of you douchebags says a fucking word, I’m hopping that barrier, beating the shit out of all of you, and fucking your girlfriends. Now, as I was saying; I want to say to the fans, to the boys in the back, to everyone that has ever had my back and seen me through my years in this business....FUCK YOU! I earned this. This is all my doing, it simply means what everyone already knew; I’m the best in WARPED. The other questions resting on people’s mind right now are what exactly do we do from here, what is this collection of pro wrestling superpowers going to do to WARPED? The goal from here on out is to fuck this place up beyond recognition! Everyone backstage should listen up closely, because this is the only time I am saying this; we’re in control now. You can forget fair fights and you can forget proper etiquette; the rule books are going out the window, the only goal we have is to win and we’ll do so at any cost. Now that I have the Squarian contract, at the 3 Year Anniversary Show, I’m taking the World Championship back. As far as any Tag Team Championship challengers are concerned, not only will you have to go through the undefeated champions, you’ll have to go through Crowbar and I as well. The only fairness any of you jerkoffs will experience from here on out is when I allow you out of this ring alive. You can keep the catch phrases the the stable names, frankly I don’t give a fuck what you call us, as long as at the end of each match we’re in, you call us the winners. The only goal is winning matches, beating ass, and taking home championships. The entirety of this roster is on notice, if you so much as look at us the wrong way, you won’t be fired, but we’ll make your lives so painful and miserable that you’ll wish you were.”
Starr hands the microphone off and slumps back against the ropes, lighting a cigarette. “Sir” Douglas Fresh motions for the microphone to be handed off to his older brother Mr. Rottentreats, whom gladly accepts.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Everyone was in fear that the Mayans predicted the end of the world. It was just their way of saying a few stars would align. And the stars that the Mayans predicted would align, are standing here before you. It wasn’t the end of the world. It was merely just the end of the Maple Leaf Strike Force, as a tag team entity! It was the end of Pat’s hopes of regaining absolute power. The wrestling world is abuzz! And it’s not because I whipped out my wang. Or one of us, O.D.ed. Our cell phones have been ringing so much, it’s hard to keep a full battery. And it’s the same thing with every text, with every call. It’s the same dog damn thing! Why?! Why did we, turn our backs, on P.. K.. A.. It’s simple, Pat, the gig is up, I know, EVERYTHING!”
Crowbar, Starr, and Douglas Fresh all exchange confused looks.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Let us reflect on twenty-twelve for a moment. Elite Duos, and a pathetic excuse for a tag team.
“SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP” *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* “SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP” *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap*
Mr. Rottentreats: No! You shut the fuck up! You’re in the presence of greatness, and you should respect this historic moment! Now where was I..? Oh yes, James Stall and Jimmy Helmsley. They couldn’t hack it! Along with a whole slew of (air quoting)”tag teams” set a poor example for Leon Stone, and left, when they couldn’t win. Enter, Carnival Connection. Much like our cohort, Crowbeezy here, we took advantage of Pat’s little love affair with the drink. And we secured ourselves a spot in the tournament. Things went awry though. Sure, we knew we wouldn’t win, but we didn’t expect it to go down like that. And in due time, all shall be revealed. Because, Pat, when you drink, you talk.. And the last time we had ourselves a WARPED after party. You talked, a lot.So much in fact, that our feet decided to continue the discussion, with that liqour jug you call a body, at Not So Silent Night.”
Treats hands the microphone off to Douglas.
Douglas Fresh: “This isn’t about Patrick! This is about the collection of talent, you see before you. Crowbar, a man, sure to go down in the history books as an Extreme legend, and not to mention, the best damn figurehead, WARPED has ever seen! Tattooed Insanity himself Alexander StarrZoe, who proved, not only at Showcase Zero, but by putting SwitchBlade out to pasture. That he is, indeed, THE Starr of the show! This, is about the fact that my brother Mr. Rottentreats and I have been the WARPED Tag Team champions, for seventy-five, glorious, Faygo and Blood stained days. And there has yet to be a celebration in our honor! Well tonight, we finally celebrate our title victory over, Maple Leaf Strike Force. It’s time, that we celebrate our successful title defense in Madison Square Garden, it’s time to celebrate the fact that we destroyed the ELITE DUO! But most importantly, it’s time to celebrate, that at this very moment in time, whether The Dirty Mac or Sheep Sheep’s mistress Scot Rot, William Wallace likes it or not.”
Douglas passes the microphone back to Treats as they raise the WARPED Tag Titles high in the air.
Mr. Rottentreats: “These are the two most important titles in WARPED. So minions, if you will..”
Suddenly a ghastly crew of carnies invade the ballroom of the Westin Los Angeles and begin to tag everything in sight that reads “West Coast Winter”, with “Wicked Clown Winter”.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Forget about that behemoth, Bombtrack, WARPED.What you need to do, is focus on what’s happening right in front of you. The Minute of the Maple Leaf is up, The EON OF LEON, is on pause. Wicked Clown Winter is upon you!”
Flower of Scotland hits as the crowd erupt. William Wallace makes his way through the curtain wearing his kilt and a Scotland football top. The World Championship is over his shoulder as he raises his left hand to silent the crowd and brings the microphone in his right hand to his mouth.
William Wallace: Ladies and gentlemen of LA, a present to you the WARPED World Champion...ME!
The crowd pop
William Wallace: But in ma ring, usin up all ma celebration time we have four of the biggest arseholes ever to step foot through the door here. You have the two stoner clowns who hold the tag team titles, they just happen to be the same stoner clowns a beat last month, even after Taurus Capone got involved.
Crowbar and Starr jump in front of the Carnival Connection to hold them back.
William Wallace: You have Crowbar, the man that couldn’t cut it in the big time anymore so he disappeared. The last time a seen you Mark it was on the side of a milk carton, that was until you got PKA pissed and got him to sing the company over to you. You are the only one in that ring that hasn’t be beaten by me, an that is all down to the fact you’ve always been to scared to get in the ring with me, haven’t you! Pussy!
Crowbar looks less than amused in the ring as Wallace smiles.
William Wallace: Calm yourself son, unbunch your panties, am no out here for you, am after the remainin “man”. The man who thinks he is somethin because he had more stamina than an old man Alexander StarrZoe, the same Alexander StarrZoe a have beaten twice in a row in singles competition. That’s right Starr am the one that ended your unbeaten run, am the one that cracked you over the head with a tombstone, an am the one standin here with a big bit a gold that you want! A am the World Champion which means a am the best in WARPED! Starr you’re lucky you have your little Aussie mate to give you the Squarian award, because it was the only way you were gettin a shot at this title. A have beaten you twice a have nothin left to prove, but if you want a shot you can have it, what a don’t get is why you want to wait until the Three Year Anniversary, Why not this month? Hell why don’t we do it next week?
Starr shakes his head in disapprovement
William Wallace: Aw as see, so no to next week, you’re probably right, it is for the best if we do it NOW!
The crowd pop as Wallace starts walking towards the ring. Douglas Fresh and Mr. Rottentreats are holding Starr back in the ring as Crowbar has the mic.
Crowbar: “Whoa whoa whoa, hold on Wallace. While I applaud you for becoming the champion, there isn’t going to be a goddamned match between you until the 3 year anniversary show. Calm the hell down. Instead, this is what’s going to happen: Treats, Fresh, Starr, you guys have the night off. Relax and enjoy the show boys. Wallace, you’ll have title defences leading up to the anniversary show, hell, you’re facing the winner of tonight's Evolution Title match in 2 weeks, and whoever else I deem worthy of putting up against you. Yes, that’s a compliment, believe it or not.”
William Wallace: Son you can put me into as many title defences as you want, did you not learn last year when a stood shoulder to shoulder with you on the same team am a fighter. You can line them up, a’ll knock them all down and come the 3YA a will take out your little bitch boy StarrZoe too. Now unlike your little buddies in the ring a have a match to get ready for tonight. Why the hell do they get the night off? Are they suckin your cock? Turnin tricks to get ahead.
Douglas Fresh jumps toward William Wallace but Mr. Rottentreats catches him by the waist in an attempt to calm him down.
Douglas Fresh: (shouting) “I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS!”
The crowd begin to chant “you suck”
William Wallace: Come on Treats let him go, a will drop him just like a did last month! A could be doin with a bit of a warm up before ma match with this Trident guy, so Crowbar how about you take the dogs off the leash, a’ll come down there an knock all four a you out! Unless you are all too scared that is...
Crowbar: “They get the night off for hard fought matches and to recuperate from The Not So Silent Night. I don’t swing that way, though thanks for apparently calling me good looking and inferring you want some man love to happen between us...
Wallace jumps in as Crowbar is speaking
William Wallace: Maybe if you were a sheep.
Crowbar stares a hole through Wallace as he continues what he was saying.
Crowbar: ...However, Starr has made his decision on when he wants to fight you and that, as Squarian winner, is his choice. Deal with it. We are in control now. Unless you want to work double or triple duty, all FnX matches, I suggest you stay out of this ring and out of our way.”
Crowbar goes to drop the mic but stops.
Crowbar: “You said you haven’t beat me, this is true, and you’ll never get the chance. We are The Abominationz. We are order in chaos, we are chaos in order. For every action, we are the reaction.”
“Looking down the barrel of a gun" starts blast out of the pa system as Hugo Strange steps out from behind the curtain to a big pop from the crowd.
Hugo Strange: Well lookie here a ring full of whores and one soon to be broken ass wanna be pimp.
Treats mouths “I thought I smelled back bacon!” to the nearest hand cam.
Hugo Strange: Wallace I was backstage and I could not but over hear this real annoying voice going on and on about how they are going to kick everybody's ass. Now Wallace you are the toughest motherfucker here, but even you can’t beat math and I figured one bad ass sheep's fucker could use one bad ass moose fucker to have his back.
Treats again mouths something to the hand cam. “He’s probably the catcher!”
Hugo Strange: Crowbar there is one word for you and that is.......PUSSY! It is what you are for how conduct your business, and it is what you are for running from WARPED when Grendel beat your ass in his last match here in WARPED! Crowbar you're a pussy because when a little comment was made about you all you did was run and hide behind your whore Starr. Tonight I kick your pussy ass not for me , not for Andy or Ashley or this great fans thst made us, but PKA the guy that took a chance on a rookie this and set the tag team world on fire. This ass kicking is for the man that made who you are Crowbar because if it wasn't for PKA you would be just another KIWI cunt with a bad haircut and bad KIWI breath.
Mr. Rottentreats covers Crowbars ears as the fans start chanting “Kiwi Cunt! Kiwi Cunt!”
Hugo Strange: Now Wallace you have to go back to the back you got to much to lose plus I am young and plus I can handle that old KIWI bastard Crowbar. Now head back and watch the ass kicking give him.
Hugo heads to the ring.
Crowbar watches on and rolls his eyes as Hugo heads towards them. He turns around and says a few words to the boys.
Crowbar: “Hugo...firstly, Grenola bar wasn’t my last match, not by a long shot, secondly, you’re the one demanding this match, I say yes, and I’m the pussy? I have a question for you. You mention if it wasn’t for PKA blahblahblah. Well, where is he? He hasn’t been heard from, I wonder why that...”
Crowbar looks around and starts laughing.
Crowbar: “Oh, right, thats why, I left him unconscious in the ring! Knocked the Fuck Out, if I recall correctly! So...before you go calling people pussies, look inhouse at the person you’re defending, the man who was laid out by yours truly, quite easily infact, at the Not So Silent Night.”
Crowbar: “Now, Hugo, what you need to understand there sir is that I don’t hide behind anyone, instead I just find the meanest sons of bitches I can find and set them loose. It’s not my job to fight, it’s my job to be the General Manager. To book matches. Thats it. But...as I can see you’re heading towards me now, although our match isn’t until later, I’ll gladly have it now and show you just how mean I can be in an FnX ring.”
Crowbar looks over at Wallace.
Crowbar: “However, Wallace, you’re banned from ringside...wouldn’t want our World Champion getting hit by a stray weapon....and if that isn’t incentive enough, if you don’t head to the back, and stay there, you forfeit the World Title effective immediately!”
Wallace reluctantly has to head up the aisle as Crowbar, Starr, and Carnival Connection all snicker and get in a huddle. They break free and the trio leave the ring, heading down to ringside.
Tony D: "Looks like we're going to see Crowbar face Hugo Strange right now!"
Opening Match - Hugo Strange vs. Crowbar - Written By: Joey
Hugo Strange walks up the steps while Crowbar communicates through the ropes to his fellow Abiminationz members that are on the outside of the ring. Hugo quickly gets into the ring and rushes at Crowbar and splashes him in the corner! The bell sounds and Hugo immediately starts hammering away with repeated right hands on Crowbar. He drops to the mat and Hugo stomps and stomps and stomps, but Treats and Dougie Fresh pull Crowbar from the ring and Hugo starts to get out but the Tag Champs and Starr get in front of Crowbar.
Tony D: "This is clearly a sort of handicap match with those guys on the outside."
Kris Red: "Hugo has to find a way to somehow even things out but I'm not sure how he'll do that!"
Hugo screams for Crowbar to be a man and get in the ring. Crowbar clears the way of his stablemates and slips into the ring, telling the referee to keep Hugo back.. but Hugo doesn't have to obey the rules as he pushes past the referee and goes after Crowbar but he slips out of the ring. Hugo tells Crowbar to stop being a PUSSY and spits in his face. Crowbar's rage takes over and he slides into the ring but Hugo drops a knee on the back of his head and pulls him into the ring. He brings Crowbar to his feet and hammers away with right hands and Crowbar is reeling, being sent back into the corner.
Tony D: "Hugo Strange is taking it to Crowbar now that he finally has him in the ring!"
Kris Red: "Crowbar hasn't wrestled since the Summer so he might have to shake a bit of the rust off!"
Hugo whips Crowbar across the ring into the corner and charges and hits a roaring elbow to the side of Crowbar's face! He staggers out of the corner and Hugo Strange backdrops him to the mat! The fans erupt in cheers as Hugo Strange stalks Crowbar as he pushes himself up off of the mat.. and Hugo applies a Full Nelson, lifts him up and slams him to the mat!
Tony D: "The Moose Bomb!"
Kris Red: "Crowbar seems to be a bit rusty cause Hugo Strange is making a quick disposal of Crowbar tonight!"
Hugo Strange now points to the top buckle and shouts out "MOOSESAULT!" and the fans cheer! He starts to head up the turnbuckle but StarrZoe gets up on the apron and Hugo delivers a right hand, taking him off the apron. Carnival Connection get up on each side of the turnbuckle and grab at Strange and then pull both legs out and he gets crotched on the top turnbuckle!
Tony D: "Oh come on!"
Kris Red: "The FnX Rules are coming into play for Crowbar right now and not good at all for Hugo Strange!"
"Gimme a CHAIR!" shouts Crowbar as he gets up to his feet. Mr. Rottentreats slips a chair into the ring and Crowbar picks it up and lifts it over his head them cracks Hugo Strange in the back! Hugo falls backward and hangs upside down in the corner in a tree of woe!
Tony D: "Hugo is in trouble here.."
"HOLD HIM THERE!" shouts Crowbar as Treats and Fresh both grab an arm of Strange, holding him in place as Crowbar puts the chair against his face. Crowbar takes a few steps back..
Kris Red: "Oh man, what is he going to do?!"
Suddenly the fans pop as Dylan Daniels charges down with a chair in hand and cracks Douglas Fresh over the back!
Tony D: "Dylan Daniels to the rescue!"
Mr. Rottentreats then goes to help out and Daniels drives the chair toward his gut but Treats grabs on and the two have a chair pulling contest to try to get control over it. Then, Douglas Fresh delivers a low blow on Daniels and Treats takes the chair and cracks it over the skull of Daniels!
Kris Red: "The numbers game is taking control."
Starr now holds Hugo Strange in place and Crowbar runs and baseball slides the steel chair into his face!!
Tony D: "Oh my God!"
Hugo now collapses on the mat and Crowbar puts his arms in the air and the fans in Los Angeles boo him! The fans chant "WE WANT WALL-ACE! WE WANT WALL-ACE!" and Crowbar tells them they won't see him!
Tony D: "These fans are chanting for the World Champion William Wallace to come help but keep in mind that if he interferes in this match he will be stripped of the title!"
Hugo Strange slowly starts pushing himself up off of the mat and is bleeding from the forehead as Crowbar just stalks him..
Kris Red: "Hugo seems out of it.."
Crowbar then leaps up and hits the KFO Cutter!
Tony D: "KFO!"
Crowbar wipes his hands and lays over Hugo and the referee counts..
Tony D: "That's it.. wait, no!"
Hugo kicked out just at the last second! The fans erupt in cheers! Crowbar looks shocked. From ringside, CCNX and Starr can't believe it!
Kris Red: "The heart of Hugo Strange!!"
Crowbar now pulls the chair to the middle of the ring and pulls the heavier man up.. slowly.. and he then hits the KFO on the chair!
Tony D: "Another KFO! This time on the steel chair! That's gotta be it.."
Crowbar covers and the ref counts..
Kris Red: "It's ova!"
The referee calls for the bell.
Randy Long: "Here is your winner - Crowbar!"
The fans boo as Crowbar stands up, arms in the air.
Tony D: "Yeah, Crowbar and the rest of Abominationz are the winners."
Crowbar is joined in the ring by Alexander StarrZoe and Carnival Connection as the four men celebrate. They observe as Dylan Daniels and Hugo Strange are both still down and out at ringside and this pleases the stable!
Singles Match: Blake Blomberg vs. Mikki Dumas - Written By: Joey
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first.. residing from here in California, by way of LISBON, PORTUGAL.. weighing in at 130 pounds and being accompanied by her lover, Layla Brooks, this is Mikki Dumas!"
"I'm a Bitch" by Meredith Brooks plays. Mikki Dumas comes out in a stroller, led by her lover, Layla Brooks. At the bottom of the ramp, Layla takes Mikki out of the stroller, and puts her on her leash, with Mikki still sucking a pacifier. She leads her to the ring and gives her a drink from her bottle, removing Mikki's pacifier, putting it in her bra.
Randy Long: "And her opponent.. from San Diego, California, weighing in at 165 pounds - Blake "The Snake" Blomberg!"
"Snakeman's Dance" by GG Allin plays and Blomberg makes his way out to the ring.
Tony D: "We've got the debut of one Mikki Dumas tonight, and as you can see, she's one of a kind.."
Mikki Dumas looks at Blake Blomberg and he winks at her and she looks on in disgust. The referee calls for the bell.
Tony D: "Here we go! Mikki Dumas makes her debut match against Blake Blomberg." Kris Red: "She's got a pacifier... and she's in a diaper.. This is unusually arrowsing.. " Blake and Mikki pay close attention to each other, and start to feel each other out. They lock up, Blake overpowers her into a head lock, and then snaps her down, and locks in an armbar. Mikki uses her legs to get up, and Blake holds the submission on tight. She holds her arm, and then hits Blake in the jaw once, and he loosens the hold. This lets her flip over, getting loose, grab Blake's arm, and flip him over onto the mat. She holds Blake's arm and drops a leg onto it. She picks Blake up by his head and snaps him over her shoulder. She pauses, and then kicks him in the back with a stiff boot. Blake falls forward and Mikki pins him 1..kick out.
Kris Red: "That's impressive for an infant."
Tony D: "Say - earlier this week, Blomberg cut quite the interesting promo.. and it sounds like this will be his last match if he loses. Do you think that's the case?"
Kris Red: "Well the guy shouldn't quit but I can see why he's frustrated. He's got the worst record here and now he's facing an adult baby."
She picks Blake up and whips him into the ropes. She goes for a clothesline but Blake ducks it, leaps onto the second rope and springs back taking her down with a Crossbody. He hooks a leg 1..2..kick out. Blake picks her up meanwhile nailing in a few forearm shots, and grabs her arm but she reverses and whips Blake into the ropes. Blake bounces off and comes back at Mikki and she tries for a hip toss but Blake knees her in the gut, and takes her down with a twisting neckbreaker. He picks her up and pushes her into the corner. He lifts her up onto the turnbuckle and climbs up with her, calling for a Hurricanrana. Blake leaps onto her shoulders and connects, falling backward and taking her down with him! Blake covers Mikki 1..2..kick out!
Tony D: "Blake connects with a Hurricanrana, but unfortunately he can't get the win."
Kris Red: "I don't think Mikki is goin' down that easily. Annnnd that's what she said."
Layla cheers Mikki on from ringside and Mikki crawls over to her. Layla gives her a swig of milk out of the bottle and Mikki turns around, psyched up! She runs but gets a hip toss from Blake Blomberg. Blake grabs the left leg of Mikki and spins around locking in a Leg Lock. He holds the move on as Mikki struggles to get to the ropes. She starts crying out!
Kris Red: "She's crying like a baby, Tony."
Tony D: "California's finest.."
The ref asks her if she wants to quit and she replies no. Mikki tries to reach the ropes but Blake isn't letting that happen as she gets nearer and nearer. He lets the move go and grabs onto her left leg again, and starts to kick it at the kneecap. Blake drops an elbow and stretches her leg. Layla cheers Mikki on! Mikki leans forward and slaps him a few times until he lets go. She favors her left leg as Blake picks her up and whips her into the corner. He runs and jumps but she moves out of the way at the last minute, ducking down and crawling away. Blake hits the turnbuckle hard and stumbles back, and falls over Mikki! Mikki rolls Blake up in a schoolboy 1..2....kick out!
Kris Red: "That was different! But it almost worked."
Mikki and Blake slowly get up to their feet, and start exchanging blows. Blake gets the upperhand and whips her into the ropes, and as she comes back he bounces off the opposite ropes and comes toward her flying in the air with a flying forearm. She goes down and Blake gets up, picking her to her feet and whipping her to the ropes again. This time though she slides out of the ring. Blake runs after her and she snags his legs and pulls him out of the ring. She kicks Blake in the gut and slams his head off of the barricade. Blake flies back holding his face as Mikki continues the assault. She nails a belly to back suplex on Blake and he lands hard on the protective mats at ringside. The referee has began the ten count and is on 5. Mikki grabs Blake, and whips him into the steel steps and he slams off of them. She rolls into the ring to stop the count, and rolls back out as the ref begins it again. She walks over to Blake and he rakes her in the eyes causing her to loose her sight temporarily. Blake grabs her and slams her head off of the steps! She screams in pain and Blake grabs her head again and nails a bulldog onto the floor. Blake rolls into the ring and positions himself along the ropes. He waits for Mikki to get up and he launches himself over the ropes onto her executing a Crossbody! They both are laid out at ringside as the ref begins to ten count yet again. Once he gets to seven they both start to come to and Blake rolls Mikki into the ring.
Kris Red: "The SNAKE has control of the baby! And that sounds really creepy."
He climbs on the apron and up on the turnbuckle. He waits for her to get up and when she does Blake flies off with a Missle Dropkick but Mikki moves out of the way and Blake falls on his ass! Mikki lets Blake get to his feet and she dropkicks him back down! He sits up and she charges and kicks him right in the face!
Tony D: "The BABY BOOT!"
Mikki now stalks her opponent as he slowly starts to come to.. Layla cheers her on from ringside. Mikki slaps her diaper and charges, leaping up with a leg lariat(Rough Ryder) and takes Blake down!
Tony D: "That's the KMD!"
Kris Red: "KMD??"
Tony D: "Kiss My Diaper!"
Into the cover...
The bell sounds!
Randy Long: "Here is your winner - Mikki DUMAS!"
"I'm a Bitch" by Meredith Brooks plays as Layla Brooks enters the ring and celebrates. Mikki takes the pacifier out of her bra and puts it in her mouth. Layla hugs Mikki as the two celebrate. Blake Blomberg rolls out of the ring and knees down at ringside, grbabing at his face.
Tony D: "Well, an impressive victory for newcomer Mikki Dumas tonight. And for Blake Blomberg, is that his last match?"
Kris Red: "I'm not quite sure but-"
“Get Naked” interrupts her giant moment as the crowd turn their attention to the entrance ramp as an unfamiliar entrance video hits the video screen.
Kris Red: "-Wait, what's this?"
Then strutting out from the back in a long black evening grown with her left hand gripping the side of her dress is the one and only first lady of wrestling Kandi Washington. She has a microphone in hand as she makes her way to the top of the ramp and being followed by her female bodyguard, very muscular and scary, Ice. The music slowly dies down as the fans are still unsettled whether to cheer or boo Kandi Washington. Mikki is joined in the ring by her girlfriend Layla as the two starts yelling up at entrance ramp.
Kandi Washington: I am fucking disgusted at the sight of you two so-called women. What kind of woman walks around wearing a damn diaper? You should diaper your faces, so I don’t have to be forced to stare at your hideousness. Let me tell you two bitches something real quick because it’s very important; in fact, this is a new trend that has just hit Warped!
The fans start to boo loudly as she starts strutting down the ramp with her left hand holding a bundle of her dress. A female bodyguard closely follows from behind as she has her arms across the chest area.
Kandi Washington: You see, this company needed a woman with a TRUE female touch and not some infantile little whore running around, so they came to me. That’s right ladies, this company came to me practically begging for me to sign on their dotted line. Not only that, I am one the highest paid stars on the roster. Now if you want to talk about who’s shining brighter, I think my little contract negotiation completely belittles your little match we just had to unfortunately witnessed. But that’s not the reason I came out here, or at least the whole reason I decided to make my appearance felt.
She stops down at the bottom of the ramp and rolls her eyes at the booing crowd as she points to the two women in the ring.
Kandi Washington: You two have now been replaced and it’s my personal duty to make sure you two are no longer welcome in this company. I am the Head Bitch in Charge and the only dominant female in ALL women’s wrestling, so we can either do it the easy way or the hard way. I’ll let you two ladies decide what is in your best interest, but I assure you war with me is something neither of you should want. It will put you both in an early casket.
She flips her hair over the shoulder, purses her lips, and smirks.
Kandi Washington: I see you’re getting a little upset with me. Well, it’s natural you would be jealous of me because EVERY woman is jealous of me. Who wouldn’t want to be like Kandi Washington? I am a brand bitch! People pay money just to be able to write my name. I have people paying me money upon money to make appearances for a single night. I am what you call the most recognized and desired Queen of Professional Wrestling! The way you two are looking at me with your jaws nearly touching the canvas, I can tell you’re going to accept my little challenge next week. But my challenge is not just any little match. I decided I want to take on BOTH you in the ring and I won’t be going at it alone. Oh no…
She turns her head over the shoulder and taps the female bodyguard on the shoulder.
Kandi Washington: This is my female bodyguard, her name is Ice and she’s been itching to snap a few bitches in half and this would be the perfect opportunity not only to show the company what I can do in the ring, but to also scare the little daylights out of you two. Who knows, it might even knock some sense into those infantile little brains of yours and take you two right out of diapers. Then again, it also might be a good idea you two wear diapers because then when Ice makes you piss on yourselves, you won’t get any bodily fluids on my expensive designer label heels!
Kandi turns around and her hair flows behind her as she struts back up the ramp. She raises the microphone to her lips as she makes her way to the top.
Kandi Washington: Oh yes and one more thing, the Queen has arrived to take her rightful place on the throne because the first lady of Warped is here to stay for eternity!
“Get Naked” hits the sound system as Ice smirks at the two female competitors in the ring while the crowd is going absolutely insane with boos as Kandi Washington disappears behind the black entrance curtains. Ice slowly starts walking backwards as she continues staring up in the ring as the two stare down at her. The scene fades to the backstage area.
The Above Kandi Segment was written by Kandi
FnX Match: Dylan Daniels vs. Leon Stone - Written By: Daniels
Tony D: “This next match is going to be brutal, Kris!”
Kris Red: “It’s not going to be brutal, Tony D. It’s going to be Fucking XTREEEeeemmmmme-AH!”
Tony D: “After that hellacious ladder match at Not So Silent Night. Was three weeks enough recovery time for Leon Stone? Not just physically but mentally as well. How will Damien and Chelsea play into this match?”
Kris Red: (cutting off Tony D)”Yada, yada, yada! Considering Dylan Daniels had to play the hero earlier and had his ass handed to him. I doubt he will even show up for this one, Tony D!”
Tony D: “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Kris. He seems pretty determined to teach Leon Stone just exactly who Dylan Daniels is. Let‘s send it to Randy Long!”
Randy Long: “The following contest is an FnX Rules match!”
Dream On by Aerosmith plays on the speakers. Leon Stone walks to the ring dressed in knee length, loose wrestling trunks. They are burnt orange with black seams.
Randy Long: “Making his way to the ring first. Accompanied by his tag team partner Damien Baine, and his sister Chelsea Stone!”
Damien Baine is dressed in jeans and a Flux in Motion T-shirt As they pass the fans they shake hands and give high fives. When some people boo Leon smiles at them and nods. Chelsea Stone walks by his side, addressing the fans much like her brother.
Randy Long: “From Dayton, Ohiiooo! LEE-Oon STOOoone!”
When they get to the ring, Leon stands in the center, looks at one of the recently tagged “WARPED W” logos that surround the arena, and disappointingly shakes his head, he walks to each corner of the ring and raises his fist, he yells at the crowd to get pumped, and finally walking to the center of the ring he grabs two purple velvet sacks from his pockets and unties the golden string.
Kris Red: “Do I see what I think I see, Tony D? Is that Crown Royal? Does he not know that alcohol thins the blo.. Is he..?! Why would you do that?!”
Leon spreads his arms out palms up and waits merely a second before his palms turn and he pours the sand from the sacks, some floats away in the air, most falls onto the mat.
Tony D: “Calm down it’s just sand, Kris.”
Kris Red: “Calm down! This kid just poured sand in the center of the ring. That’s going to feel Aaamaaazing in an open wound, Tony D!”
Leon quietly and calmly walks to his corner. His partner Damien and little sister Chelsea support him from outside the ring.
Tony D: “I’m being told in my headset to send it to the back.”
The view cuts to the back as Dylan Daniels enters the frame quietly singing the chorus of Leon Stone’s new Entrance music. He turns to face the camera covering up a tagged “West Coast Winter” vinyl banner with his chubby build. His forehead is freshly bandaged but slowly seeping blood and his bandage wrapped mid section is peeking out from under his tight aged Misfits shirt.
Dylan Daniels: “New year, new music. New year, new entrance. New Year, new Leon. I would be right by assuming that, correct? Dream On! No one’s buying it.. At least I’m not.”
He winces and runs his right hand through his hair before pointing and waving ridiculously into the camera and speaking.
Dylan Daniels: “Oh.. HI LEON! I thought WARPED was a family, LEON?! Where the hell were you earlier LEON?! Or is it only Fami-Leon when baby Stone is being a piss poor sport and pitching a fit on twitter about a couple of losses? Don’t turn away from me kid! I see you in this monitor back here. I want you to pay attention to what is about to come out of my mouth.”
Dylan winces and clutches his midsection before continuing.
Dylan Daniels: “I might not be able to one up you. At least not when it comes to that poorly written CW Network drama you call a life. When it comes to this place?”
Dylan points a barbwire ball bat into the camera then waves it in the air making a circle indicating he’s talking about WARPED.
Dylan Daniels: “Consider yourself one upped.”
He winces and pauses to breathe a moment
Dylan Daniels: “Because whether you or anyone else in the locker room wants to admit it. Even in the horrible shape that I’m in now. Even without a title around my waist. I don’t give a damn what type of match it is.. I’M THE LITMUS TEST!
He winces again and clutches his midsection before calming himself and continuing in a hushed whisper so you‘ll turn the volume up.
Dylan Daniels: “Take AJ Fairchild for example. He’s already stated he wouldn’t step foot back in a WARPED ring again.. He couldn’t handle being one upped by a has been.. Believe you me I have been and then some! AJ and I just had a normal match though. Dylan Daniels versus Leon Stone is Fuckin’ Xtreme Rules.. I hope you did your homework assignment Leon. Judging by the look on your face. You didn‘t, did you? It sucks to be you, in more ways then one! I’m about to beat you like the daddy you never had.. And as for your little brothers grave.. I hope you dug a hole right beside him because I’m going to kill you if my ring isn’t clean by the time my entrance is over. Now.. HIT MY GOD DAMNED MUSIC!”
The lights in the arena fade out as the slow pulse John Christ’s guitar hit’s the PA. Scattered amongst the crowd a decent amount of fans jump to their feet in reaction to the throwback entrance music of Dylan Daniels. With every high hat strike a set of bright lights flashes from the stage floor in back of the entrance way. With every chord strike the top of the ramp and the aisle are pumped with fog.
Tony D: “That’s Mother by Danzig!!”
Kris Red: “As if our sound guy wasn’t confused enough with the clowns switching music every other month, Tony D! Have to admit it’s a lot better than Leon dumping sand in the ring like an uncivilized child!”
Randy Long: “And his opponent. From Asheville, Noorth Carrooliina! The Massacare, DYYYLLLAAAAN DAAANIIEELLS!!”
Tony D: “This brings back memories doesn’t it Kris?”
Kris Red: “Yes, it does. Memories of the drugged up “Hello Cleveland!” variety.”
Tony D: “Oh come on Kris. Even for you that was low!”
Dylan Daniels slowly steps into the open spotlight at the top of the ramp with a sheet rock dolly in tow and revealing the golf bag draped across his back. He gets behind the sheet rock dolly and lightly props himself on it as he pushes it down the ramp and toward the ring. .
Kris Red: “Ooo! What’s he have on that cart? A few tables? Ooo a ladder! And look, he went out of his way to find some ratty jeans to match that oversized purse of his!”
Tony D: ”Looks like the golf bag you’re referring to is home to Kendo sticks and light tubes, Kris!”
Kris Red: “I see Leon Stone eyeballing those tables. I hope Daniels is feeling selfish with all these toys, Tony D!”
Tony D: “Not only that but he’s definitely showing the effects of that beating he received at the hands of the Abominationz earlier.”
Kris Red: “Is he, Tony D? Or is he pulling a Wiley veteran maneuver?
Tony D: “Are you implying that he isn’t actually hurt? We both saw the beating he took!”
Kris Red: “Neevvver miiind, Tony D. Just look at Dylan Daniels! For someone who isn’t here tonight for the adulation and admiration of the fans.. He sure is eating up the reaction from his most recent act of martyrdom!
Not about to see your light.
Dylan slaps hands with a few fans as he reaches the ringside. He attempts to push the dolly onto the ringside mats but the front wheels catch on the mat and it topples over.
Crowd: “YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!”
Kris Red: “Sounds like Dylan isn’t the only attention craving douche bag in attendance tonight! BA-DOOM-CHA!”
Dylan shakes his head as he looks down at the contents of the toppled over dolly then shrugs it off. He retrieves a nine iron from his golf bag and uses it as a cane as he walks around the ring slapping the hands of fans that have their arms extended. Leon Stone impatiently begins to pace back and forth in the ring getting annoyed that Dylan Daniels is taking so long.
Kris Red: “Here he goes Tony D using the whole so.. HEY PUT THAT BACK!”
Dylan rips the foam spit guard off of a microphone and flips Kris Red off. He winces as he tosses the barbwire bat he’s wielding over the top rope and into his corner. After placing the nine iron into the golf bag he slides it under the bottom rope before slowly walking up the ring steps. When he reaches the top step he waves Leon Stone back before wiping his boots on the apron. Once again Dylan winces again as he bends over to step through the ropes.
Kris Red: “Looks like Dylan is having a hard time lifting his fat leg!”
Tony D: “Would you stop it already, Kris?”
As the song ends Dylan approaches the center of the ring and spreads the small mound of sand with his boots and shakes his head. He holds up his hand motioning for Leon to stay put as he raises the microphone in front of his face.
Dylan Daniels: “Hold it right there! You want to preach non-stop about respect to me?! Looks to me like you’re the disrespectful one here kid. And you obviously weren’t paying attention. I guess you need some respect beaten into you!”
Leon charges at Daniels as he unbuckles his leather belt but Daniels ducks under the quick offense attempt. A loud thud blasts the PA system as Dylan drives the microphone into Leon Stone’s face.
Tony D: “Dylan looking to make it an even playing field early on. That was steel mesh on flesh, Kris!”
Kris Red: “That sounds like a bad porno. Speaking of which, it looks like this is about to turn into an S&M flick!”
Tony D: “Stone is bleeding already! It looks like there’s a cut above his left eye, Kris.”
Kris Red: “Hey, he can call himself Left Eye Leon Stone now!”
Leon attempts to shake off the microphone shot as he slowly rises to his knees bleeding from his forehead. Dylan jerks him up by the wrist and forcefully begins to whip Leon across the back. With every strike of the belt Leon musters up more strength and manages to escape Dylan’s grasp. Leon is tripped as he attempts to run toward the opposite ropes to gain momentum. Dylan wraps the belt around Leon’s left ankle and drags him to the bottom rope.
Tony D: “Veteran move by Dylan Daniels.”
Kris Red: “I told ya it was going to turn into an S&M flick, now he’s tying Leon’s foot to the bottom rope!”
Dylan peels Leon’s knee pad down to his ankle and ascends to the second rope.
Tony D: “Daniels is bouncing up and down on the second rope this isn’t going to end well for Leon Stone!
Kris Red: “You aren’t kidding, Tony D. Daniels has gained quite a bit of weight since his frequent visits to the coffee pot in Headstrong!”
Chelsea Stone takes advantage of Dylan playing to the crowd as he attempts to gain momentum from the second rope. Daniels comes crashing down onto Leon’s left knee just as Chelsea unties the belt. Upon impact Leon begins to thrash about with Dylan now sitting on his leg and punching his exposed knee cap.
Crowd: “YOU FAT FUCK! YOU FAT FUCK YOU FAT FUCK!”
Kris Red: “This Los Angeles crowd is so rude, Tony D!”
Dylan allows a grin to creep onto his face before Leon lands a vicious right kick to the left side of his mid section. The force of the kick to the already softened up midsection of Daniels sends him up and over the bottom rope landing at Chelsea Stone’s feet writhing in pain. Leon smacks the side of his right foot on the canvas as he clutches his left knee. Dylan pulls himself up with help from the ring skirt and apron to examine his work. As he turns to cup his ear for the audiences approval Chelsea smacks him. He quickly shakes off the effects of the slap and catches Chelsea‘s wrist when she attempts another slap. Dylan shoves her and she trips over the bottom of the ring steps and crashes into the guard rail hitting the back of her head.
Crowd A: “YOU SICK BASTARD!”
Crowd B: “YOU KILLED CHEL-SEA!”
Crowd A: “YOU SICK BASTARD!”
Crowd B: “YOU KILLED CHEL-SEA!”
Crowd A: “YOU SICK BASTARD!”
Dylan reacting as if he barely touched Chelsea has a shocked look on his face as he checks on her.
Kris Red: “These fans don’t even know the half of it. He’s barely scratched the surface with this barbaric display, Tony D!”
Tony D: “He seems genuinely concerned.”
Kris Red: “Are you kidding me? He’s faking it! I can tell, because THEY’RE RIGHT BESIDE US!”
Dylan Daniels approaches the announce table angrily and he’s overheard shouting at Kris Red.
Dylan Daniels: “IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE’S CLUMSY!”
Kris Red: “Typical domestically abusive resp.. WATCH THE HA…”
Kris Red’s headset falls to the ground as Dylan pulls him up from his seat by the hair. Dylan is speared by Damien Baine just as he cocks his left fist back. Baine slides into the ring as Dylan writhes in pain at ringside. Damien urges Leon to roll out of the ring as he drapes himself across the middle rope and pulls the bottom rope up. Leon lands on top of Dylan’s mid section after rolling off of the ring apron and doing a full rotation. The referee drops to the mat ringside and begins the count.
The fans of the first few rows within eyesight begin to chant.
Crowd: “LU-CHA LE-ON!” CLAPCLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP LU-CHA LE-ON!”CLAPCLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP
Kris Red: “Where was this team work when they were in tag team matches, Tony D?”
Tony D: “Both Damien Baine and Leon Stone have disappointment painted on their faces, Kris”
Kris Red: “Speaking face teams and face paint.. What are these two clowns doing ? They aren‘t supposed to be out here for this match!”
Mr. Rottentreats and “Sir” Douglas Fresh sprint toward the ring. They stop at the pile of tables at the end of the aisle way and set one of them up at ringside. Treats stands the ladder up with the rungs facing the ring. The brothers slide into the ring and Treats grabs Damien’s attention. Douglas clocks him with one of the WARPED Tag Titles as he turns. Damien falls limp onto the second rope near the table.
Tony D: “I can’t keep up with this, Kris. We have Dylan and Leon beside us leaning on the guard reail trading chops. And Carnival Connection up to who knows what in the ring!”
Kris Red: “Isn’t it obvious? These Abominationz are out here to put Baine through that table! And Douglas is using that ladder to his advantage!”
Douglas places his right foot on a rung level with the ring apron then pulls Damien Baine over the middle rope to the apron. Treats begins to run the ropes to gain momentum. Douglas uses all of his strength and hoists Damien up and power bombs him just as Treats flies ass first into the chest of Damien Baine. And both Treats and Baine crash through the table. Treats rolls backwards from the momentum hitting the ring steps.
Crowd: “HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!”
Kris Red: “Holy shit is right WARPED fans! What the hell was that?!”
Tony D: “All I saw was Mr. Rottentreats springing off the top rope and fly backwards into Leon Stone!”
Kris Red: “As awesome as that was.. Why did you have to talk these two into our presence tonight, Tony D? Here comes Douglas!”
Dylan and Leon both now leaning on the ring apron exchange a confused glance as Douglas jerks Kris Red’s headset off of his head and places it onto his own. Leon uses the distraction and plants a front thrust kick to the injured mid section of Dylan Daniels.
Douglas Fresh: “DOWN GOES DANIELS! DOWN GOES DANIELS! Scram Kris!”
Kris Red stands up and begrudgingly walks away. Leon attempts to put weight on his left knee but collapses. Luckily he falls onto Daniels for another pin attempt at ring side.
TWOo-Daniels lifts a shoulder in the nick of time. Leon runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.
Douglas Fresh: “Close but no purp filled blunt!”
Tony D: “So do you mind explaining your actions, Douglas?”
Douglas Fresh: “You want me to explain why I’m calling the match and you’re not?”
Tony D: “No, why did you just drive Damien Baine through a table?”
Douglas Fresh: “We felt bad for what we did to Dylan earlier, so we figured we’d even the odds a bit. That’s our way of apologizing. That’s how Treats and I show.. What is the word? Remorse?”
Tony D: “Remorse for what exactly?”
Douglas Fresh: “For beating the hell out of Dylan earlier tonight of course! Do you not pay attention?”
Tony D: “Of course I do. You didn’t exactly seem remorseful as you were beating him though.”
Douglas Fresh: “There ya go Leon swing that dead leg around like a weapon!”
Tony D: “Isn’t Dylan supposed to be a friend of the Carnival Connection?”
Douglas Fresh: “That’s why we apologized Tony. Just look at that beating as blind rage self defense, plain and simple. Sure we went a little over board but we didn‘t realize it was him until it was too late. Besides he had no right sticking his fat nose in Abominationz business!”
Tony D: “Leon Stone with another two count after a muay thai strike of some sort at ringside.”
Douglas Fresh: “A spinning heel kick to be exact. Geesh I’m starting to lose respect for you. Tony!”
Douglas jumps up and points at the golf bag urging Leon Stone to use it’s contents. Dylan now on his knees with help from the announce table notices Douglas jumping up and down as he points. Dylan glances and sees Leon slide into the ring.
Douglas Fresh: “I wish Treats were conscious for this. He loves the sound of light tubes as the hit the canvas, Tony!”
Tony D: “I’m sure he does!”
Dylan pulls himself to his feet on the apron. Leon notices Dylan step through the ropes and kicks the middle rope up stopping Dylan in his tracks. Leon quickly applies a front face lock and pulls Dylan through the ropes allowing his feet to hang on the middle rope.
Tony D: “Leon has strategically placed four of those light tubes parallel to the ring ropes.”
Douglas Fresh: “And he’s about to drive Dylan’s face right thro..”
The light tubes shatter on impact sending tiny bits of glass and phosphor dust in to the air.
Douglas Fresh: “ROPE HANG DDT INTO THE LIGHTTUBES!!!!”
Tony D: “You seem a little excited about your friend getting his face driven into a pile of light tubes.”
Douglas Fresh: “Hardly a pile, Tony. And I just didn’t think Leon Stone had it in him! And obviously I was right he should be going for the pin. Not trying to get the crowd behind him and giving away his next move by patting the turnbuckle!”
Crowd: “THROW THEM STONES! THROW THEM STONES! THROW THEM STONES!”
Douglas Fresh: “Even the crowd knows! And they‘re telling Daniels with their poorly thought out mediocre chant.”
Dylan with his back to the center of the ring pulls himself up with help from the ropes. Leon is squatting in the opposite corner with a new found bloodlust in his eyes. Leon charges the best he can with a bad wheel.
Douglas Fresh: “NO LEON!!”
Dylan slowly turns revealing the two light tubes he’s holding just before Leon sends another cloud of phosphor dust and bits of glass into the air. Daniels collapses draping his arms over both top ropes in the corner. Leon hit’s the canvas holding his shoulder and kicking the mat.
Tony D: “Dylan Daniels sacrificing his already wounded midsection to stop the momentum that Leon Stone was building.”
Douglas Fresh: “As much as I hate to admit it. That’s why Dylan Daniels is one of the best at this type of match. He can turn your offense into defense on a dime.”
Crowd A: “LET’S GO LE-ON”
Crowd B: “MASS-A-CRE!”
Crowd A: “LET’S GO LE-ON”
Crowd B: “MASS-A-CRE!”
Crowd A: “LET’S GO LE-ON”
Crowd B: “MASS-A-CRE!”
Douglas Fresh: “Typical independent wrestling crowd on hand here in Los Angeles, Tony.”
Tony D: “That may be so, but it’s lighting a fire under both men!”
Both men begin to fire up slowly. Leon smacks his right foot on the mat in time with the crowd. Dylan begins to stomp his left foot and shake as he hangs in the corner. As the crowd reaches the peak Daniels with his last bit of adrenaline jumps over Leon. Dylan rolls over the sand in the center of the ring and to his feet. Leon working off of the energy of the crowd rises his feet. He takes a couple of quick steps forward and attempts a spinning back fist. Dylan ducks and throws sand in Leon Stone’s face after he spins around.
Tony D: “How did Daniels manage that one?”
Douglas Fresh: “He’s been spying on top secret Carnival Connection training sessions. Those are ninja tactics! Dylan Daniels is a tactic jacker!”
Daniels ducks as Stone swings wildly. He begins to counter every wild swing with a series of heavy lethargic kicks wincing after he lands each one. The kicks lead into a series of heavy handed palm thrusts to the chest of Leon Stone. He rebounds off the ropes and ends by driving a huge left crooked arm lariat through Leon Stone. Dylan clutches his mid section as he tiredly falls back first into the pin attempt.
Douglas Fresh: “LAAARIATOOOOOOooooooooooo~~~!
THR-Leon hooks Dylan‘s right arm with his legs and pins his shoulders to the mat with a crucifix pin.
ONE-No! Dylan uses the momentum to roll out of the pin attempt. He smacks his bloody face in frustration as he kneels beside Leon.
Tony D: “What is it going to take for these two men to call it quits here tonight in Los Angeles?”
Douglas Fresh: “My guess is a syringe full of heroin and a few cheeseburgers for Dylan. And another female for Leon to beat.””
Tony D: “So that’s who you are now, Dougie?”
Douglas Fresh: “What do you mean, now? I always tell it like it is!”
Dylan slowly rises to his feet after grabbing two kendo sticks. He tosses one that lands on the mid section of Leon Stone and motions for Leon to get up.
Dylan Daniels: (shouting) “GET THE FUCK UP!!”
Douglas Fresh: “Looks like we’re about to have ourselves a good old fashioned duel to the death!”
Tony D: “Not if Dylan Daniels has anything to say about it!”
Dylan doesn’t give Leon Stone time to regain his composure and swings the cane into the left knee of Leon Stone sending him to the mat as he reaches his feet. As Leon writhes on the canvas Dylan drags him closer to the corner by the belt that’s still wrapped around his left ankle. He ties his ankle to the bottom rope tightly and motions that he’s going to fly. He backs into the corner and steps back onto the bottom rope and bounces up and down before launching himself on top of Leon. On impact Dylan rises to his knees and winces as he balls his fists up tightly. He raises up and backs into the corner again.
Douglas Fresh: “Brace yourselves WARPED faithful, for the most time consuming finisher in wrestling history!!”
Tony D: “Chelsea is back in the fray! She’s untying Leon from the bottom rope!”
Dylan glances at Chelsea before hoisting himself upon the middle rope. He begins to bounce up and down for momentum again and launches himself onto Leon a second time. Leon clutches his mid section after Dylan slowly rolls off of him and to the apron writhing in pain. Dylan slowly pulls himself up using the ropes and begins his lethargic ascension to the top turnbuckle.
Crowd: “FLY FAT-ASS FLY! FLY FAT-ASS FLY! FLY FAT ASS FLY!”
Dylan stops on the middle turnbuckle to acknowledge the chant and winces as he laughs and flips off the crowd playfully. As he perches himself up on the top rope Chelsea pulls his left leg out from under him hanging him out to dry on the turnbuckle pad. His upper body dangles in front of the turnbuckle pads as he hangs there with his right foot hooked on a turnbuckle.
Crowd A: “LET’S GO LE-ON”
Crowd B: “MASS-A-CRE!”
Crowd A: “LET’S GO LE-ON”
Crowd B: “MASS-A-CRE!”
Crowd A: “LET’S GO LE-ON”
Leon Stone begins to stir as Chelsea frees him from the bottom rope. Chelsea slides into the ring with two chairs in tow. She unfolds and sit’s the chairs up back to back in the center of the ring as Leon rises to his feet. Leon limps toward the corner where the barbwire bat is and picks it up. He winces and clutches his midsection as he raises the bat and points it toward Daniels hanging in the corner.
Crowd: “SHRED HIM UP LE-ON, SHRED HIM UP!” CLAPCLAP “SHRED HIM UP LE-ON, SHRED HIM UP!” CLAPCLAP
Leon slowly makes his way toward the corner. Daniels begins to stir when he notices the barbwire bat at the side of Leon’s leg. Dylan attempts to push his upper body back up with the ropes. When he reaches the top, Leon is waiting and attempts to grind the bat into his face. But Dylan spits mist into his face. In the center of the ring Chelsea has fed what light tubes that haven’t been destroyed through the backs of the chairs. She pulls one chair away from the other until it looks like a make shift table. She exit’s the ring and taunts the crowd thinking Leon Stone has the match won.
Douglas Fresh: “Chelsea Stone is starting to turn ol Dougie on with her sadistic thought process!”
Tony D: “Forget about light tube contraption. Those ropes are dripping blood and whatever that substance was that Dylan just spat in Leon‘s face! Not good for either man.”
Douglas Fresh: “Looks like Leon’s attempting his new finishing maneuver Shifting Sands!”
Leon blindly attempts to pull Dylan off of the top rope and onto his shoulders. Dylan blocks the attempt by hooking both of his feet under the top turnbuckle. He begins raining down on the side of Leon’s head with a series of stiff elbow strikes. Leon falls into the corner repositioning Dylan to sit on the top rope. Dylan pulls Leon up to the middle rope by his hair. Leon throws a punch and Dylan sways backwards. Leon attempts to hoist him up for a superplex. Dylan blocks it by holding the ropes. Leon pops Dylan again with a hard left. This time he climbs to the top rope and attempts the same. Dylan holds the ropes and shoves Leon sending him through the light tubes causing a third cloud of Phosphor dust. Leon writhes in pain and holds his lower back not realizing he’s repositioned himself for Dylan Daniels.
Crowd: “FLY FAT-ASS FLY! FLY FAT-ASS FLY!”
Dylan smiles allowing blood to run into his mouth and drip off of his teeth mixed with the mist substance he spat recently. He slowly perches himself on the top rope. Working off of the energy of the crowd he launches himself a third time. Leon rolls out of the way and Dylan crashes down onto the pile of broken glass. Dylan pops up to his knees clutching his mid section then topples over onto the canvas beside Leon.
Tony D: “Both men seem to be completely out of it!”
Douglas Fresh: “Let’s hope this enthusiastic Los Angeles crowd doesn’t cliché this horrific moment up any more!”
Leon pulls himself up using the ropes and Dylan in the right place at the right time with a school boy roll up.
Tony D: “School boy pin!”
Douglas Fresh: “A remedial school boy maybe! He pinned himself and doesn’t even have him cradled! He just has his left arm across his chest for crying out loud!”
Tony D: “Looks like have ourselves a draw, Dougie!”
Douglas Fresh: “A draw? Are you kidding me? This is Fnx, there are no draws, in FnX!!”
Tony D: “Both men‘s shoulders were down!”
Douglas Fresh: “Do you hear yourself, Tony? This is ridiculous!”
Randy Long: “This match has been ruled a draw by way of double pin-fall!!”
The bell rings as the referee raises Leon and Dylan‘s arms. Dylan pulls his arm away and rolls out onto the announce table positioning a microphone by his face and Douglas jumps up shrieking.
Douglas Fresh: (shouting) “DON’T BLEED ON ME!”
As Dylan lies lifeless on the announce table he speaks in a tired out of breathe tone into the microphone beside his head.
Dylan Daniels: “Fuck.. You.. Dougie! Hey Leeoon! You.. Really.. Proved.. Yourself tonight.. Bitch!”
Dylan rolls off of the announce table catching himself with Douglas Fresh’s now empty chair and begins to use it as a walker as he makes his way to the back.
Intermission/L.A. Announcement -Written By: Joey
Kelly Calloway is seen backstage with a microphone in hand standing in front of a bland, brick wall.
Kelly Calloway: "Hello wrestling fans! While the show is in intermission I wanted to take the time to bring you some news! We've got more great wrestling coming up when the World Champion William Wallace will be in action to face Los Angeles' own Alex Trident plus still to come is our main event as LA's own Anton Chase challenges for the Evolution Championship against Cameron MacNichol! Speaking of Los Angeles, we have a major announcement to make! I am pleased to announce tha.. -"
She stops as a black-sleeved arm is draped over her. The camera pans back to show newcomer Kameleon. She peals his arm off of her and he pats her on the shoulder. He then lifts his black hoodie over his head and walks by.
Kelly Calloway: "That was weird. Concerning our announcement! We are pleased to announce that due to an overwhelming response and immediate sell outs of both Los Angeles dates, tonight and March 8th.. we're pleased to announce that there are now more tickets available! A few hundred more, to be precise. We'll be moving our March 8th show to The Echoplex! So if you thought you were unable to get a ticket, now is your chance!
Kelly Calloway: "Also - the WARPED Tag Team Title division is about to heat up as the champions, Carnival Connection, recently issued an open challenge to any team to join in on the West Coast Winter tour and challenge them. We're told that the first team to answer was New Era's Bombtrack and Tombstone. Bombtrack sent the following poem in.. and I quote..
She winks and nods. Fade out...
William Wallace vs. Alex Trident -Written By: Wallace
Randy Long: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, in the ring, from Hollywood California, weighing in at 205pounds...ALEX TRIDENT.
The arena blacks out as the bagpipes tune up, the noise fills air, as Flower of Scotland begins to play. The crowd erupt with cheers as Wallace appears through the curtain wearing a "Your Worst Nightmare" t-shirt and his kilt, with the WARPED World Title over his shoulder. He is lit up by one single spot light as he confidently makes his way to the ring absorbing the cheers from the WARPED fans.
Randy Long: His opponent, from Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at 254pounds, he is the New WARPED World Champion...WILLIAM WALLACE!!
As Wallace approaches the ring he rolls under the bottom rope. He gets back to his feet he takes his t-shirt off and throws it into the fans. He picks the World Championship off the mat and raises it high in the air before handing it out to Randy Long at ringside.
Tony D: The New World Champion against the rookie, the new signing Alex Trident.
Kris Red: This could be interesting. Wallace could be in for an easy night, but on the other hand this could be a massive upset, Trident is an unknown, well played Crowbar!
Tony D: A potential banana skin indeed.
The referee calls for the bell. Trident charges at Wallace trying to catch him early off guard but Wallace stops him immediately with a big boot to the face. Trident lies motionless on the mat as Wallace looks around at the fans going nuts.
Tony D: This doesn't look good for Trident. Wallace picks Trident off the mat, the rookie looks dazed. Trident is then places between the legs of the Champion who proceeds to plant him with the Freedom Drop into the cover.
Tony D: Wow, another rapid victory from William Wallace.
Kris Red: He clearly doesn't get paid by the hour. That was over quicker than his sheepy exploits.
Tony D: The Champion prevails, and in impressive fashion. It was never going to be easy for Alex Trident.
Randy Long: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, the WARPED World Champion WILLIAM WALLLACE!!!
Wallace has his hand raised by the referee before taking his belt and the microphone from Randy Long.
Tony D: It looks like the Champ wants to speak.
Kris Red: Get the subtitles at the ready, I can never understand him.
Wallace: Crowbar, were you watchin that? How about your little buddies, did they all catch that? Another victory in record time. Crowbar you can keep sendin them out here into my ring and a will send every single one a them back. A have proved there is no one in this company better than me, an a have done for the last year, just because the Year of Wallace is over doesn't mean anythin will change. A am still the same dominatin ginger guy in a skirt that a always was, only now a am the Champion, an there is still no one that can stop me!
Wallace drops the mic and rolls out of the ring as the Flower of Scotland plays again. The fans are on their feet as Wallace makes his way to the back.
Main Event: Evolution Title Match + World Title Shot - Cameron MacNichol(c) vs. Anton Chase -Written By: Wallace
Randy Long: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the WARPED Wrestling Evolution Championship.
Tony D: Main Event time already folks.
The arena blacks out as the bagpipes tune up, the noise fills air, as Flower of Scotland begins to play. The crowd erupt with cheers as Wallace appears through the curtain.
Kris Red: What the...Not this again.
Wallace is wearing another "Your Worst Nightmare" t-shirt and his kilt, with the WARPED World Title over his shoulder. He is lit up by one single spot light as he confidently makes his way to the ring absorbing the cheers from the WARPED fans. He makes his way around the ring and joins Tony D and Kris Red at the commentary position.
Tony D: Well it looks like we are going to be joined by the World Champion William Wallace, Welcome to commentary William.
William Wallace: Thanks for havin me. Kris what's up you don't look too happy to see me.
Kris Red: I'm always happy to see you William.
William Wallace: Tell your face that son.
As Faint By Linkin Park blasts over the pa system, white smoke fills the entrance way as a person is seen behind the white smoke, as the person steps forward in front of the white smoke Anton Chase makes his way down the ramp way, with a cocky smile on his face and his arms out at the side, he climbs in the ring and climbs the second ropes and puts one hand up in the air.
Randy Long: introducing first, the challenger, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 210pounts...ANTON CHASE!
Tony D: Chase won the right to challenge for the Evolution title after beating Blake Bloomberg at Not So Silent Night in what was a close contest.
William Wallace: He has had plenty of chances to win the Evolution title back, why should this one be any different.
As the riff of Black Sabbath’s “N.I.B.” hits the PA system, Cameron MacNichol walks out from behind the curtain arm-in-arm with his sister Dyan. They pause, he gives her a brotherly peck on the cheek, and they continue on down to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, and she prompts the audience to cheer louder.
Randy Long: His opponent from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 200pounds, he is the WARPED Evolution Champion...CAMERON MACNICHOL!
William Wallace: It was about time someone took the belt of Leon Stone, a don't think a could handle him walkin about with a title much longer.
Kris Red: Leon is a good man, he deserves to be a champion.
William Wallace: Naw he doesn't, an don't argue with me again Red.
Tony D: Easy boys, let's leave the fighting to in the ring.
The Referee calls for the bell and we have a fight on our hands. Cameron from the start looking to attack looking some right hands but Chase manages to block before coming back with a right of his own. Chase grabbing MacNichol and hitting the headbut following up with a European uppercut backing Cameron into the ropes. Irish whip sending MacNichol across the ring, the champion reverses, bends over as Chase comes back but Chase had it scouted and rolls of the back of MacNichol. Chase refinds his feet and grabs MacNichol in a rear waist lock.
Tony D: Neither man wasting any time, they came here ready to fight.
MacNichol with some elbows to the head of Chase who eventually breaks the waist lock as he stumbles back. MacNichol now looks to through Chase out of the ring but Chase reverses and sends the champion through the ropes and onto the floor. Chase now hits the ropes as Cameron gets back to his feet on the outside Chase dives over the top and takes MacNichol down with the Suicide Dive!
Tony D: Sensational from Anton Chase.
William Wallace: That was a nice move, there seems to be a new aggression with Anton Chase, a like it.
Kris Red: I still don't get why he got an Evolution title shot before Leon got his rematch.
William Wallace: Will you quit it with Leon already, no one cares.
Chase grabs MacNichol by the hair and rolls him back into the ring. Chase climbs the stairs taking his time to get back in the ring. Chase picking MacNichol up as he struggles to get back to his feet but MacNichol hits an uppercut on Chase before clubbing him across the back of the head.
Kris Red: MacNichol was toying with Chase.
Tony D: Louring Chase into a false sense of security there.
MacNichol pulls Chase back to his feet, Chase trying to fight him off with jabs to the body before looking for the big right hand, MacNichol ducks it before taking Chase down with a side effect. into the cover.
Kickout from Anton Chase.
Tony D: A near fall there from Cameron MacNichol almost retaining his title on that occasion.
Kris Red: So Wallace what one of these two do you want to win?
William Wallace: A couldn't care less.
Tony D: But you have to defend your World Championship against them at WARPED71
William Wallace: A know, but it doesn't matter which one of these guys a face, am still going to be the champion come WARPED72.
Tony D: That is confidence.
MacNichol gets on top of Chase after the kickout shooting off rights and lefts to the face of Chase who is trying to get his arms up in an attempt to block some until the referee forces him to get off. MacNichol puts a chin lock on Chase who is trying to work his way back to his feet but he is wearing.
Tony D: Good strategy, keep Anton Chase on the mat, neutralize his attack.
William Wallace: These fans are goin nuts for Chase.
Chase manages to get back to his feet hitting rights and lefts to the body backing MacNcihol into the ropes. Irish whip again MaNichol comes back as Chase looks to leap frog him but the Evolution Champion flies through the air and takes Chase out with a spear.
Tony D: SPEAR! What a huge spear that was.
William Wallace: That was impressive.
Kris Red: I thought that was it, I don't know how Anton Chase kicked out of that.
William Wallace: A don't think you were the only one, Cameron looks distraught that he didn't get the three.
Cameron protests to the referee that he should have got the three as Chase uses the ropes to try and get to his feet. Cameron stalks behind Chase as he staggers up, locking in the Cobra Clutch.
Tony D: This could be it if MacNichol can lock in the strangle hold.
Wallace's phone goes off at the commentary position.
Kris Red: Unprofessional much? You're supposed to turn your phone off out here.
Wallace stands up staring at his phone, MacNichol breaks the hold and moves towards the ropes shouting abuse at Wallace.
Kris Red: Is this match over? Cameron has let go of the strangle hold.
Wallace rips off his head set and jogs away from the ring. Cameron turns as he watches Wallace run to the back but as he turns he is met by the boot of Anton Chase to the jaw.
Tony D: SUPERKICK from Chase!
Chase falls on top of MacNichol grabbing both legs rolling him up.
Kris Red: Not like this, NO!
Tony D: Surely a New Champion.
Tony D: Yes!
Kris Red: NOOO!
The crowd explodes with cheers! Anton Chase's jaw drops!
Randy Long: Ladies and Gentlemen, you winner and the NEEEEWWWW WARPED Evolution Champion ANTON CHASSSSE!!!!
The fans continue to cheer as the referee hands Anton Chase the Evolution Championship.
Tony D: Congratulations to Anton Chase, he has regained the Evolution championship a year and a half after losing it. And he's done so in his hometown of Los Angeles!
Kris Red: Don't forget he now gets a shot at William Wallace and the World championship, well as long as Wallace is there, what was all that about, why did he run to the back?
Tony D: I am not sure but I am sure we will get answers before next time.
Anton Chase is out at ringside as he celebrates with the fans in the front row. They slap his hands and pat him on the back with support as he walks by all of them. He then hops over the barricade and the fans lift him up in the air and he holds the title high! Cameron MacNichol comes to in the ring, holding his jaw from the superkick. He then applauds Anton Chase and heads out of the ring.
Tony D: Just under three weeks after finally winning the Evolution Title, Cameron MacNichol loses it. That's gotta be a reality check.
Kris Red: I'd love to see these two go at it again when the time comes for the rematch claus! Wait..
Tony D: Yeah I heard it too.. Let's see if our cameras are in position..
Closing Segment -Written By: Crowbar, Starr, CCNX
The scene quickly switches and shows William Wallace. He starts running through the backstage area, a WARPED camera crew in tow and the WARPED World Championship in his hand, looking for Daniels and Strange after the text he received while on commentary. He makes his way into the car park to find 2 chairs with cardboard cutouts on them. Laughter is heard in the echos before The AbominationZ surround him, holding bats and chains.
Crowbar: “Well, look at that, he fell for it”
Crowbar leans back against a car hood, bat over his shoulder. Wallace looks at the group surrounding him and gets ready for a fight, but clearly seeing he’s outnumbered. StarrZoë stands with a chain wrapped around his fist and a smirk on his face, trying to withhold hysterical laughter.
Starr: “Ooh, look, my World Championship! How nice of you to keep it shined up for me. I suppose you’re out here looking for your tag team partners? Well, fortunately for you, they’re fine, unfortunately, you won’t be in about two minutes.”
William Wallace: “What do ya bastards want? Come on then ya animals, do something!”
Wallace stands in a defensive stance, waving on his attackers, though he knows he’s outnumbered, he will not back down from a fight. StarrZoë shrugs and welcomes the challenge, running at the Scotsman and blasting him in the temple with the steel chain. Crowbar swings the bat down, which only connects with concrete as William rolls out of the way at the last moment.
William Wallace: “Takes real men to attack someone 4 on 1 eh?”
Crowbar: “SON OF A BITCH!”
The WARPED Tag Team Champions see their opportunity and swarm, laying boots to the World Champion. “Sir” Douglas Fresh reaches into his boot and pulls out a hatchet raising it high above his head. Mr. Rottentreats quickly grabs his younger brothers wrist.
Mr. Rottentreats: “DOUGIE WHAT THE HELL?! We’re not trying to murder him!”.
Crowbar pipes up
Crowbar: “Well, not yet.”
Starr: “Certainly would've been fun though...”
Crowbar reels back and slams his bat into the back of Wallace, connecting this time with a crunching thud. He slams the bat down a few more times and then throws it away, looking at the hatchet thoughtfully for a minute before shaking it off. He lays some boots into Wallace before standing back and giving a hand motion inviting everyone else to take part.
Starr sighs and shakes his head, looking at the scene before him, the bloodied bat, the dented steel chair, and the unused hatchet. His eyes soon meet with the WARPED World Championship, which lay on the ground close to Wallace’s head. StarrZoë picks up his former title and stares at his reflection in the polished gold, a sneer crossing over his complexion. Swinging the championship belt with all his force, it comes crashing down on the skull of the ‘Scotish Warrior’. Alex picks the belt back up and stares at it longingly.
Starr: “One day, one day very soon, this will be back where it belongs. MY World Championship will be back on MY waist. It’s been gone for too long, it needs...”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Okay Golam, what is this, fucking Lord of the Rings? Can you drop your ‘precious’ so we can get back to what we’re supposed to be doing here?”
Crowbar starts laughing his ass off looking at Starr and the title.
Crowbar: “You know, he does kind of remind me of that..remind me to throw it in a volcano one day...not that I’ve seen those movies or anything...”
Starr (breaking his trance): “You’re Australian, they were filmed there.”
Crowbar: “They were filmed in New Zealand asshole, it’s a different country!”
Starr: “Oh, it’s all the same, kangaroos, koala bears, and the Crocodile Hunter.”
Crowbar: “Oh get fucked, Frodo, besides, I’m only half Australian remember, don’t make me set fire to that belt. PREEEECIOUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS!”
Mr. Rottentreats applies the camel clutch on Wallace. Douglas Fresh is off to the side seemingly disappointed just staring at his hatchet.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Dougie! Why you lookin’ all sad and shit for, lil brudda?”
Douglas Fresh looks up from his hatchet remaining silent.
Mr. Rottentreats: “I’ve got something that might cheer you up..”
Douglas Fresh’s eyes almost pop out of his mask with intrigue. Mr. Rottentreats says something under his breath to Wallace.
William Wallace: “A don’t give a damn who the foot is clown!”
Mr. RottenMr. Rottentreats: “Well you should!”
Treats holds one of Wallaces eyelids open so he can see what’s about to happen. Douglas Fresh places his hatchet back in his left boot before taking three big steps and introducing his right boot to the side of Wallace’s face.
Douglas Fresh: “I’M THE FOOT, BITCH!!!”
Mr. Rottentreats slams Wallace’s face down in into the ground. Starr lights a cigarette and looks around at the small parking garage. He tilts his head upward and exhales his smoke.
Starr: “Dougie, Treats, do me a favor, hold that title across Wallace’s chest. Crowbar, hold him at the legs, I’ve got a perfect way to end this whole night.”
Without another word, StarrZoë flicks his cigarette at the fallen World Champion and heads towards a car parked near the scene of the attack. Opening the door, Starr climbs atop the roof of the car perched and looking down. The former WARPED World Champion leaps from the car, flipping through the air landing on his rival with a Rising Starr on the World Championship belt and the World Champion.
Crowbar watches Starr flip off the car in amusement, laughing as he slams onto Wallace.
Crowbar: “Well....that’s gotta hurt, hey Willie!”
Crowbar signals to Starr, Treats and Fresh to pick up Wallace and points at a Red Mustang parked near them.
Crowbar: “Right there, that car needs a hood ornament I think!”
Crowbar walks over as all 4 men have hold of Wallace, they get a running start and throw him towards the car, his head going through the windshield. Crowbar looks at Dougie.
Crowbar: “Dougie, can I borrow that hatchet?”
Dougie takes the hatchet out of his boot once more struggling with the thought of allowing someone else to use it.
Mr. Rottentreats: /B>“He’s always had issues with sharing, ninja. I got you though.”
Treats reaches behind his ear retrieving a “cigar” and Dougie’s eyes widen.
Douglas Fresh: “Is that? You know..”
Mr. Rottentreats: “A giggle stick? Yeah.. Let the the homie Crowbeezy get a swing with that hatchet and it’s all yours!”
Dougie extends his left arm with the hatchet toward Crowbar and his empty right hand toward his older brother Mr. Rottentreats. Crowbar takes the hatchet off Dougie and pats him on the back with thanks before walking over to the car. He slams the blade into the hood, just inches beside Wallace’s head, pulling it back out and turning around with a smile on his face. He pulls out and lights a smoke.
Crowbar: “Wallace, if you ever, EVER try to interfere with our doings again like you did tonight, next time, I’ll split your fuckin’ wig.”
Crowbar surveys the car for a minute.
Crowbar: “Shit...now I feel bad....that’s the second time I’ve fucked up Kris Red’s car. Damn.”
Starr sighs and nods his head, feeling accomplished. He spits at the fallen body of the WARPED World Champion and turns toward his stable mates.
Starr: “Let’s get the fuck out of here guys. I’ve got women, whiskey, and a box of White Owls waiting for me. It’s going to be a hell of a night.”
Crowbar hands the hatchet back to Douglas Fresh’s waiting hands. Mr. Rottentreats smacks his brother in the back of the head as all four men observe their handy work.
Mr. Rottentreats: “What were you thinking bringing a hatchet?”
Douglas Fresh: “Calm down.. It’s my shaving hatchet! I was wanting to get rid of that disgusting, haggis infested nest he calls a beard. That’s all.”
The four men disappear through the back entrance of the arena, leaving the fallen champion in a pool of his own blood, unconscious on the concrete, and a blade shaped slash in the hood of the WARPED announcer’s Mustang. Crowbar can be heard asking the other three “Didn’t we have an invite to Kandi Washington’s club?”
The scene fades.
""All your base are belong to Gust!""
- Raging Dead