(the scene fades in, but the American West Arena crowd doesn't realize they are on camera yet. They are eagerly awaiting the start of this tremendous pay per view event. The words 'Internet Wrestling Organization' start to fade in and out (with that heartbeat sound, as always), and the fans pop in anticipation. Suddenly, "Chris Jericho's Theme" starts to play as fireworks go off everywhere. The crowd yells and screams and shouts and the like for a good 5 minutes as the song plays through, and finally, when they start dieing down, the announcers, 'Big' Scott Weber (BSW), Teddy Roxx (Roxx), and 'Beautiful' Nikki (Nikki) get the chance to speak)
Roxx- WELCOME EVERYBODY TO ANOTHER EDITION OF THE TEDDY ROXX SHOW!!
Nikki- F*CK YOU TEDDY!! THIS IS THE IWO, NOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL IMAGE ENHANCER!
BSW- SHE'S RIGHT ROXX!! WELCOME EVERYONE TO AUTUMN IN HELL '99!!! We've got quite the card lined up for you tonight.....some of the greatest matches in IWO history go down tonight!!
Roxx- I personally just want to see that Anti-Gravity match. Nothing like working on no G's to see who's the better man!!
Nikki- This card, for those who don't know, are dedicated to IWO wrestlers Ken War, Chris Anthony, and Reaper...all of which are retiring as of the end of this show!! We'll miss you three!!
BSW- Three great talents being lost here in the IWO, but we all know that at this coming Hostile Takeover at least 9 new faces will make their first apperances here to make up for the loss!!
Roxx- Yeah yeah, I don't care.
Nikki- Well let's not waste any time then! Let's get to the ring!!
BSW - Here we go!!! This one could and will probably go down as the biggest
match in IWO history!!! Five men.. One Ring... Anything Goes... LOSERS LEAVE
Roxx - I want to slap me some bare ass.
Nikki - I think all five of these guys have a great chance of LEAVING the
IWO forever. They've not shown me anything and to be honest, I could care
less what happens. I think I'm going to give my self a pedicure while this
match takes place.
BSW - That's just great..
Roxx - And I'm going to take a shit. You guys hold the fort down while I let
out a big ass brown slush puppy.
BSW - I think I can do that... Umm... I guess it is just me. All alone,
calling a five man match that I can't keep up with... What am I going to do?
Nikki - I'm still here but I won't be paying attention Scott. Sorry man...
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes. She is painting them rainbow color,
she has several bottles of nail polish on the announcers table.)
BSW - You know good and well that's just going to bring you trouble.
Nikki - What do you mean?
BSW - That Neil Lutsky character...
Nikki - Oh, he isn't here... I can do whatever I want to with my feet!!!
BSW - Ok... But I warned you. Lets just get up to the ring announcer so he
can bring out these five guys... I really want to see some action here
Nikki - Do you think I should paint my big toe yellor or pink?
BSW - *rolls eyes*
("Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice begins to play.)
Ring Announcer - This contest is scheduled for WHO CARES!!! Five men will
enter the ring and NO ONE.. I mean only one will walk away with an IWO
contract!!! Lets bring out the five losers... I mean competitors!!!
(Ozz Skyles makes his way out. He is dressed like a fly boy. He is dancing
along to the beat.. ICE ICE BABY!!! The crowd is laughing at him. This is
funny. What a moron.)
Ring Announcer - I don't know his weight nor his height, nor do I really
give a damn. He looks similar to a monkey's ass and he smells like donkey
manure... He probably hasn't taken a shower in months because his armpits
reak of lasagna... here is OZZ SKYLES!!!
(The crowd has gone to the concession stands, sadly Skyles isn't booed nor
cheers. Poor guy.)
BSW - Well... Ozz Skyles is out!!! He looks ready, I believe he is going to
win this thing?
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes again.)
Nikki - Blue or red here???
BSW - I DONT CARE!!! STOP ASKING ME!!! I DONT PAINT MY TOENAILS!!!
Nikki - Oh come on... You can still tell me what color mine should be.
BSW - BACK TO THE RING ANNOUNCER!!!
("Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra plays.)
Ring Announcer - I HAVE A SMALL PENIS!!!
(Hybrid makes his way out. Boy what a good he is. I've never seen anyone
with that big of a nose. He has to be one of those freak boys. What a
BSW - Hybrid doesn't look like he is ready to wrestle.
(The scene cuts to the back to Hybrid's dressing room. We see tons and tons
of heroin lying around. Needles are just about everywhere.)
BSW - OH DEAR LORD!!! KIDS DONT TRY THAT AT HOME!!!
(Hybrid has his arms covered up. He must have all kinds of needle wounds
Ring Announcer - Well... Here comes Hybrid. Just look at how shitty he
looks. My goodness, I've never seen anyone suck that bad. He must weigh like
a lot and he is pretty tall. That's just so cool.
(Hybrid gets in the ring, he waves to Ozz Skyles. He then passes out onto
the mat. He could be dead as needles fall from his pocket.)
BSW - Nikki, Hybrid needs some help?
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes...)
Nikki - Orange here???
BSW - For the last time I don't care!!!
Nikki - I think dark red should go here, or purple...
(The camera pans to the ring. The ring announcer is drinking a beer.)
Ring Announcer - Contestant number three!!!
("I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys plays.)
Ring Announcer - Rob Lewis!!! IT IS YOUR TURN TO COME OUT YOU ASS WIPE!!
(Rob Lewis makes his way out. He looks like one of those N'Sync Degrees
people. He is dancing to the ring. The fans are barfing on him. The poor
guys just doesn't understand how life works.)
Ring Announcer - Rob Lewis!!! He likes milk and has that little milk
mustache. I love gay people!!! SO HAPPY!!! YES!!!
(Lewis is in the ring. He is asking for a microphone.)
Rob Lewis - Are you ready to sing!??!? COME ON!!! YOU'RE THE MUSIC OF MY
HEART!!! I WANT IT THAT WAY!!! I DO CHERISH YOU!!!
(Just then out runs Rob Zombie!!! He has a satanic depth charger in his
hand. He hits Rob Lewis over the head with it and sends him to the mat. Rob
Lewis is out cold. I've never seen anyone out cold like that before. It must
be a very heavy satanic depth charger.)
BSW - This is getting out of hand. I don't think this needs to go on like
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes. She waves them at the camera.)
Nikki - Green??? How about green Scott?
BSW - DAMN YOU WHORE!!!
Nikki - Don't call me a whore!!! NOW GREEN!!?!?!
BSW - NO!!!
Nikki - What color then???
BSW - PAINT THEM ALL THE SAME DAMN COLOR YOU STUPID TOE SLUT!!!
BSW - Ugh...
("Steal My Sunshine" by Len begins to play. The crowd vomits because that
song really sucks and I have no damn clue why everyone likes it. You all
must be gay if you like it. STEAL MY SUNSHINE!!! WHAT A DAMN CRAP SHIT
Ring Announcer - Login Douglas!!! Login Douglas!!! A stupid moron is about
to come out fans!!!
(Login Douglas makes her way out. I mean his way out. LOL... He looks like
that pig from Charlotte's web. I can't remember that damn Pig's name. Was it
Wilbur? Betty? Steven? Henry? Screw it. I don't care to know what the damn
pigs name is.)
Ring Announcer - Look at this dumb ass. He has no weight nor height because
he doesn't exist because he just plain sucks major ass like a cunt!!!
BSW - Login Douglas doesn't look prepared either. Maybe these guys need to
get a life.
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes. She has finished painting them. She
is blowing on them for them to dry. Just then we hear the crowd acting up...
LOOK!!! LOOK!!! OH MY GOD!!! HE IS HERE!!! IT IS THE TOEBOY!!! NEIL LUTSKY
HAS ARRIVED!!! HE IS RUNNING THROUGH THE CROWD!!! He is headed for the
announcers table!!! He jumps the guardrail.. NIKKI DOESNT SEE HIM!!! BUT HE
STARTS SUCKING AWAY!!! HE IS SUCKING NIKKI'S TOES LIKE THERE IS NO
TOMORROW!!! WAIT!!! She is smiling!!!)
BSW - NIKKI!!! Aren't you going to stop him!?!?
Nikki - Nope!!!
(Neil continues to suck away... he is having TOO MUCH fun, if you know what
I mean.. BUT WAIT!!! LOOK!!!)
(The camera pans down to the nail polish bottles. On the side it reads, "New
Liquid Rat Poison". Neil stops. He looks up and realizes what the bottles
say. He then looks down at the toes in his mouth. He starts gagging. His
face is turning red!!! He falls to the floor!!! Nikki is laughing.)
BSW - YOU KILLED HIM!!! YOU KILLED THE IWO's VERY OWN FOOT LOVER!!! How
Nikki - Stay away from my toes!!!
(Neil's neck is starting to melt from the rat poison. It is a sick site.
Paramedics come rushing out and carry Neil away. Neil Lutsky is no more...
Long live the "Toe Boy of the IWO"..)
BSW - WHY did you do that?
Nikki - Revenge for women everywhere!!!
BSW - Don't you realize your toenails could rot off after you put rat poison
Nikki - Nope, they wont!!! I put rat poison protection on them before
BSW - You smart slut you.. I wonder how Teddy Roxx is doing..
(The scene cuts to the bathroom. We hear funny noises coming from a stall...
"OH!!!".. "MY HEMROIDS BURN!!!".. "OH!!")
BSW - Doesn't sound to good...
Ring Announcer - Here comes the second IWO drunk!!! Too bad he didn't make
it like the other drunk did. Hell, the other drunk sucks ass too though.
("The Greatest" by Kenny Rogers begins to play.)
(the camera pans down to the floor where Nikki is putting her shoes back
BSW - FOCUS ON THE RING DAMN IT!!! FOCUS!!! FOCUS!!!
(Jack Daniels makes his way out. He sucks.)
BSW - He is drunk. Just look at that sick bastard. What a dumb ass.
Nikki - My toes are all sticky now.
BSW - I guess so!!! You have rat poison on them!!!
Nikki - t-hehehehhehe
Ozz Skyles runs at Jack Daniels, he trips over Hybrid and falls onto a
heroin needle. It gushes into his blood stream and his eyes turn blood shot.
He gets up and sees butterfly ducks quaking around his little red skirt. He
starts crying for mom just as Login Doulgas moons him. Ozz Skyles falls to
the mat and goes into culvusions. Jack Daniels is drunk and smacks Login
Douglas on the ass. Login yells out as if he is gay and smiles at Jack. Jack
is pissed. He kicks Login in the groin, Login goes down hard to the mat
clutching his crotch. Login falls onto the out cold Rob Lewis. This awakes
Lewis. Lewis looks around and realizes the match has started. He slowly gets
up. Just then Rob Zombie runs back out with a pitch fork. He gets into the
ring and stabs him in the stomach with the pitch fork. Blood is everywhere,
blood starts running from Lewis's mouth. Rob Lewis falls to the mat. Just
then satan's little demons come running out. They grab Lewis and take him to
the depths of hell.
Eliminated #1 - Rob Lewis
Hybrid is starting to get up. He wants more heroin. Just then a bag of
heroin falls from the ceiling. The camera pans up and we see Kristin Bender.
She has heroin needle marks all in her arms and chest. She looks down at the
ring and smiles at Hybrid. She stumbles and begins to fall... Just then Neil
Prettyman swings in on a vine and grabs the heroin whore and they swing off
to make sweet love all night long. YEAH BABY!!!
BSW - This is getting out of hand. We still have 4 men left. I don't know
how much more these guys can take!!! This is classic wrestling!!!
("Them Bones" by Alice in Chains begins to play.)
LOOK!!! Coming down the isle!!! It CANT BE!!! OH MY GOD!!! A BONE IS WALKING
TO THE RING!!!
BSW - IT IS HIM!!! HE IS BACK!!! DAN KORDIC IS BACK!!!
Nikki - MY TOES ARE ALL WET!!!
Dan Kordic (bone) gets into the ring. He swings himself and smacks Jack
Daniels over the head.. Jack Daniels goes down!!! Dan Kordic goes for the
Eliminated #2 - Jack Daniels
Dan Kordic swings himself at Hybrid!!! HYBRID TRIES TO INJECT A HEROIN
NEEDLE INTO KORDIC!!! BUT KORDIC IS ALL BONE!!! HE CANT PENETRATE HIM!!! Dan
Kordic is pissed!!! BONE TO THE STOMACH!!! BONE COLD STUNNER!!! Hybrid is
down!!! Dan Kordic goes for the cover!!!
Eliminated #3 - Hybrid!!!
BSW - This is unreal!!! Dan Kordic could win yet ANOTHER match... the sad
thing is.. HE HAS ONLY WON SINCE HE HAS BEEN DEAD!!!
Nikki - I think I need to go clean my toes off.. I'll be right back..
Dan Kordic is on a roll!!! Login Douglas grabs Dan Kordic!!! He bone slams
him down to the mat... Login Douglas bounces off the ropes.. He drops an
elbow down across the bone!!! Dan Kordic looks hurt... Login Douglas pulls
Kordic up.. He slings him into the corner. He charges into the corner with a
bone crusher!!! Dan Kordic is out!!! Login Douglas is going to the top
BSW - This could be it for Dan Kordic!!!
Login Douglas is pointing down at Dan Kordic!!! He is going for a flying
elbow!!! HE JUMPS!!! KORDIC MOVES!!! Login hits hard!!! Kordic pulls Douglas
up!!! POWERBONE!!! POWERBONE!!! Login is down!!!
Eliminated #4 - Login Douglas
BSW - Two men left!!! Dan Kordic and Ozz Skyles!!! The loser will be fired
from the IWO just like everyone else who has been eliminated has been!!!
BSW - WAIT!!! I have no one to respond to me!!! WAIT!!! LOOK!!! WHAT IS
(A large sphere shaped object appears over the ring. A voice is heard.)
Voice - I thought I told you to stay away from these humans!!!
Dan Kordic - But I was asked to come back just for this one special
Voice - I DONT CARE!!! DIE!!!
(The large sphere shaped object blasts Dan Kordic... He explodes...)
BSW - OH MY GOD NO!!!
Voice - Now that he has been taken care of you... YOU ARE NEXT!!!
(The large sphere shaped object blasts Ozz Skyles... His head implodes
sending pieces of brain flying all over the arena. Fans are sickened by the
site!!! BUT WAIT!!! CAN IT BE!?!?)
BSW - I don't believe this!!!
(The Ashes of Dan Kordic are forming together!!! THEY HAVE FORMED A PINKY
FINGER!!! And that is one bad ass pinky!!! He leaps up and thumps the large
sphere shaped object away. He then flys back down to the mat and covers Ozz
Skyles headless body!!!)
Winner - DAN KORDIC!!!
BSW - HE DID IT!!! HE WON!!! HE HAS WON TWO MATCHES IN A ROW!!! Dan Kordic
started tonight off as a bone.. Just a simple bone.. But he was then blasted
by the sphere shaped object... NOW!!! LOOK!!! NOW!!! He is just a pinky!!!
And he is a KICK ASS BAD ASS PINKY!!!
(Nikki makes her way back out. She looks a lot better than when she left.)
BSW - Do you feel better?
Nikki - Yes, my toes are all clean now!!! heheheh!!!
(Teddy Roxx makes his way out. He is walking funny as if he has something
shoved up his ass.)
BSW - Everything come out alright?
Roxx - Hemroids suck ass...
BSW - You missed it!!! All five men are gone from the IWO!!!
Roxx - AWWW!!! DAMN!!! SUCH A DAMN SHAME!!! BOO F'n WHO!!!
BSW- You're unbelievable Nikki.
Nikki- Watch out toelickers everywhere.....Nikki is on the case!
Roxx- You are so corny.
BSW- Let's get to the ring, ok? What a match we have next! A triple threat!
Nikki- But two of the three suck!
Roxx- Nuh uh!
Nikki- You do that to annoy me don't you??
Roxx- Yep yep yep!
Ring Announcer- And the next match.. scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. Standing 7'2, weighing in at 320 pounds, he is Jassssson Nasshhh!!!
["Blue Monday" by Orgy plays, as Nash walks to the ring, with Tallguy]
Ring Announcer- Introducing next. Standing 6'3, weighing in at 273 pounds, he is Dave "Da Bomb" Dexxxxterrr!!
["Holla Holla" by Ja Rule blares. Dave Dexter sprints to the ring, Cindy following behind]
Ring Announcer- Last. Standing 6'2 weighing in at 236 pounds, Dwight D. Nobodyyyyyyyy!
["Steamroller" by Kilgore starts. Dwight just sprints to the ring]
Ding Ding Ding!
BSW- Here we go! Dwight goes right after Nash! Big mistake! They are duking it out! Right by Nobody, Right by Nash! Another right by Dwight! Nobody grabs Nash's head and drives it into the turnbuckles!
Roxx- Ya see, Dexter there is smart. He lets the small guy wear down the big guy, and the small guy get worn out, then he attacks.
Nikki- Something smart from Roxx? Amazing!
BSW- Isn't it?? Well, Dwight stomps Nash a couple times. Nash being pulled to his feet. Dwight whips him off the ropes. Drop toe hold!Nash's head drove into it hard! Dexter runs in, legdrop to the back of the head! Nash has to be hurt. Dwight and Dexter now hammering away on each other. Dexter whips Nobody into the turnbuckles. Dexter runs in. Clothesline! Dwight stumbles out....Northern Lights Suplex! The bridge...
Nikki- Dwight has some skill.
Roxx- But Nash has a size advantage!
BSW- But neither are winnning right now are they?
Roxx- Good point!
BSW- Nash finally gets back up! He is ducked down behind Dave Dexter, who is waiting for Dwight to get up! Dwight runs. Spinning Heel Kick! Dexter backflips right over Nash! Nash rolls him up. No. Dwight breaks the pin. He pulls Nash up. Kick to the gut. Suplex! No blocked by Nash. Nash holds him.. holds him..and drives him to the mat with a vertical suplex/neckbreaker combo.
Nikki- How can these men take that sort of punishment? Being held 7 feet in the air, straight up, then have your neck drove into someone's shoulder? Amazing!
Roxx- Damn straight!
BSW- Nash picks Dwight up. Body slam. No.. He pulls him up. Gorilla press slam! But he throws him to the outside! He lands on the mats! Now Nash turning for Dexter. But Dexter is up. Nash meets a clothesline! He is still up! Dexter off the ropes. Another! He goes off! One more!Nash ducks! Overhead chokeslam! The cover!
3!! No! The Ref says he kicked out! Nash picks him up. Dexter reverses a whip into the turnbuckles. Dexter runs in. Knee to the chin! Dexter quickly sets him up top. Here it is! The top rope jackhammer! The Ground Zero!
Winner- Dave "Da Bomb" Dexter
Roxx- Dwight is already gone!
BSW- What a match! Dexter with an impressive win!
Nikki- Dexter moves up the ranks....but we've got to get to the locker room!
BSW- And here we are, showing the lockeroom of the America West Arena
getting set for the hardcore match between Thug Life and Killa.
Roxx- Hardcore rules!!!
BSW- As we see Killa coming to the ring, wait a second!!!! Its Thug Life!!
He has a chair!!
BSW- The bell is sounding, this hardcore match is starting in the
Nikki- This is disgusting
Roxx- So are you!!
BSW- There are wrestlers all around watching as they two men go at it!! They
are punching eachother back and forth. Killa grabs a garbage can
Roxx- OOOOOOO thats gonna leave a mark
Nikki- So will this
BSW- Both men are all ready busted wide open!!! They are slowly making their
way to the arena. They reach the curtains and the camera shifts to another
one inside the arena, but the two men do not come out
Roxx- Where are they??
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!! Up there!! Look, Thug Life and Killa are on top of the
IWO- Tron!! They are fighting on top of the damn IWO- Tron!!!
Nikki- NO, NO!!!
Roxx- YES, YES!!!!
BSW- Thug Life is nearing the edge, OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Killa nailed a
superkick and Thug Life went flying off the IWO Tron to the metal entrance
ramp!!! He is dead!! He has got to be dead!!!
Nikki- Good Lord!!!
BSW- Thug Life is lying motionless and bloody on the damn entrance ramp!!!!
Killa is making his way back down to the ramp. He makes it down and covers
BSW- He kicked out, he kicked out!!! Thug Life kicked ouit after falling off
the IWO Tron!!! This is insane!!!
Roxx- How the hell????
Nikki- This is disgusting!!
BSW- Thug Life can barely stand!!! Killa picks him up and they head towards
the ring. He throws Thug in and goes under the ring. He comes out with a
trash can full of weapons!!
Roxx- Now the fun starts!!!
Nikki- Shut up!!
BSW- He throws the can in the ring and grabs a 2X4 out of it. He winds up
but Thug Life ducks and nails the Burnout!!!! He nailed the Burnout!!!! He
BSW- NO NO Killa kicked out of Thug's finisher!!!! Both men are down!!!
Roxx- Come on get up!!!
BSW- Both men are up, Killa for a clothesline but Thug ducks and nails a
neck breaker!! Thug goes into the can and comes out with a remote control!!!
What the hell??
Nikki- What is that for??
Roxx- Maybe to mute you!!
BSW- Thug whips Killa to the outside and grabs the remote
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!! That wasn't a remote, that was a detonator!!!! He just
set off explosives!!!! Killa is a bloody mess!!!
Roxx- I know you are!!
BSW- Thug is going to the outside and he is bringing Killa to the back of
BSW- They have again fought to the lockeroom!! Killa grabs a coffee pot and
throws scorching hot coffee onto Thug!! Thug is screaming in pain!!!
Nikki- He must have 3rd degree burns
Roxx- Is that what he MUST have??
BSW- They are now in the bathroom!!! Killa tries to slam Thug into the
stall, but Thug blocks it and kicks him the chest and slams his head into
the hand dryer!! He then takes his head and sticks it under the sink and
turns the hot water on!!!!
Roxx- At least now there are both burnt!!!
BSW- Thug grabs Killa, OH MY GOD!!! Tombstone piledriver into the toilet!!!!
He is flushing it!!
Nikki- Thats intelligent!!!
BSW- Thug is calling the ref over!
BSW- Killa kicked out!!!
Nikki- Unbelievable!!! They are now moving outside!!! They are actually in
the parking lot of the damn arena!!!
Roxx- Run someone over!!!
Nikki- Shut up!
BSW- Thug grabs Killa and goes for the Burnout but Killa counters into a
bulldog onto the hood of a car!!!!!
Roxx- HEY!!!! THATS MY CAR!!!!!
BSW- Both men are standing on the top of Teddy's car, OH MY GOD!!! Killa
nails a powerbomb on Thug and the roof collapses!!!!
BSW- Thug life kicked out!!
Roxx- MY CAR!!!!
Nikki- Smash it some more!!
Roxx- Shut up b*tch!!
BSW- Killa grabs Thug and the two are headed back to the arena.
Roxx-(sobbing) MY BEAUTIFUL CAR!!!
Nikki- Quit complaining you baby!!!
BSW- The two are back out to the arena but they are not headed for the ring,
they are headed for the restricted bleachers!!! There is a section of
bleachers with wet paint on them so no one is sitting there!!!
Nikki- Uh oh
BSW- The two men are punching eachother as they make their way up the
bleachers. Wait a minute, Thug Life is taking something out of his trunks!!!
It looks like a bottle with some sort of liquid in it and a stick!!! OH MY
GOD. He just drank the liquid and lit the stick!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! He
just blew fire onto Killa, the wet paint has caught fire!!!! The bleachers
Nikki- LOOK OUT!!
Roxx- ITS GONNA GO!!
BSW- Thug Life grabs Killa, Tiger Driver '91!!! The most devistating move in
wrestling. He hits and and the bleachers collapse and the two men fall
twenty feet to the concrete floor!!!
Nikki- OH MY GOD!!
Roxx- They're dead!!!
BSW- Wait!!!! Thug Life is moving!! He lays his hand across Killa, the ref
is grogy but he slowly crawls over,
BSW- Its over, its over!!! Thug Life has defeated Killa in an extreme match
to say the least!!! The firemen are quickly putting out the flames!!
Nikki- What a match!!!!
Roxx- MY CAR!!!!!
Nikki- Oh get over it. You know the company buys you a new one every month anyway. It always breaks.
Roxx- Yeah, but it's my car.....
BSW- WHO CARES?! NEXT MATCH!
Nikki- Yes please! We now have a Nut House match, a place Inferno belongs in the way he's been acting the last couple of weeks.
Roxx: He was just being horny baby!
BSW: Does putting on penis suits and... wait a second...
Roxx: You see!
BSW: Well, let's go live via sattelite to the Nut House!
(Scene opens up to a nut house. Fugite is seen at one side of the "hospital for the mentally disabled" and Inferno at the other.)
BSW: Let's get it on. Fugite and Inferno have started off at opposite ends of the nut house.
Roxx: My question is why? They could have started off at the same place.
BSW: I have been told, Fugite is on the third floor, and Inferono on the first.
Nikki: It adds more effect?
Roxx: Well, since it's apparent, they won't find each other for a while, Nikki, how bout me and you, ya know.
Nikki: How bout, no!
BSW: Wait, Inferno presses the elevator button, and Fugite comes rushing out! Inferno and Fugite have started a brawl in the nut house. Fugite with a kick to the stomach. Fugite now whams Inferno into the elevator door. Fugite and Inferno now on the elevator up.
Roxx: The elevator doors open and a a nurse falls down!
Nikki: That nurse just went into total shock when she saw two men were fighting on the elevator, and look, that man in a straight jacket has just trudged his way out of a window!
Roxx: This is why I love the IWO.... hey that nurse has on no underwear... zoom in on that.
BSW: Let's not and say we did. Fugite has Inferno for a powerbomb, reversed into a back body drop. Inferno now picks Fugite up, DDT! Fugite is down, Inferno with a quick cover, one... two... kickout!
Roxx: ZOOM IN ON THE NURSE!
Nikki: Shut up! Inferno picks Fugite up and sends him flying into the receptionist desk!
(Phone rings, Inferno answers.)
Inferno: Hello? No, your daddy is not sane yet, he's insane, so shut up!
Nikki: Now that was pretty rude.
Roxx: From behind, Fugite low blows Inferno, Russian Leg Sweep!
BSW: Fugite now with a quick cover, one... two... kickout by Inferno.
Nikki: Fugite takes Inferno and throws him into a patient's room. The patient is...
Roxx: NO! DON'T DO THAT! IT JUST SHOWS YOU CAN'T GET NO REAL WOMEN!!!!
BSW: Now that's just sick. Fugite throws Inferno into the guy! Inferno has some of that.... you know... on him!
Roxx: Hey Nikki, I could really satisfy you like that guy just satisfied himself. What do ya say?
BSW: Fugite is just laughing. He takes Inferno and sends him back to the main lobby of the third floor. They are brawling it out and Inferno sends Fugite through a door and down a flight of stairs!
Roxx: That had to hurt. And now, Inferno rides the steel rail, and lands right on Fugite!
Nikki: I guess that's a butt splash.
Roxx: NO! ANAL SEX IS JUST GROSS!
Nikki: Will you please take sex off your mind?
BSW: Inferno now picks Fugite up and throws him down another flight of stairs, and hits another butt splash! AND HE DOES IT AGAIN!
Roxx: We are now on the main floor, Inferno in complete control. Inferno kicks, Fugite in the stomach, BACKDRAFT!!! IT'S OVER!
BSW: YES IT IS!! One... Two... NO KICKOUT!! FUGITE KICKED OUT!!!!
Nikki: Inferno can't believe it, he's stomping the hell out of Fugite!
Roxx: Hey, look at that nurse, she looks pretty shagadellic!
BSW: Inferno picks Fugite up, clothesline is ducked. LOST TIME!!! Fugite with a cover, one... two.... kickout!
Roxx: WOW, INFERNO KICKED OUT OF A FINISHER, HOW ORIGINAL!
Nikki: Inferno gets up and blocks a punch, and drop kicks Fugite out of the nuthouse. Inferno now runs up the stairs, Fugite quickly follows! Inferno goes to the second floor and locks a door.
Roxx: The door opens and Inferno comes out and spears Fugite, but he has on a penis suit!!!! That's just one horny bastard.
Nikki: HE'S INSANE!! NOT HORNY!!
BSW: Inferno takes the Penis suit off and throws it away. He picks Fugite up, backbreaker. Fugite comes back up and is clotheslined down. Inferno in complete control!
Roxx: Yeah baby, yeah!
Nikki: Inferno picks Fugite up, backdraft through the floor!!! That's some bad flooring, cus Fugite just went down a whole story onto the hard floor. Inferno jumps down after him and falls down!
Roxx: Why jump? Why not just take the stairs?
BSW: Fugite may be dead, and Inferno may have broken both of his legs, just another match in IWO PPV History.
Roxx: Inferno tries to get up but falls right back down!
BSW: Inferno crawling at Fugite, he makes a cover, one... two... three!!!! It's over, get some medics there right now.
Roxx: Why, they are already in a hospital.
BSW: Good point...
Nikki- Y'know, this pay per view is really messed up. We have a match in a nut house, a match in an anti-gravity chamber, and now we got one in French Maid Outfits? This match is gonna be sick.
Roxx- This match is gonna be cool! It is gonna be in some kitchen!
BSW- Yep! And they are both in french maid outfits! Even better!
Nikki- Why is that better??
BSW- Umm... Lets go live to the kitchen...
-[Camera shows the IWO screen thingy. A split of Shane and Shadow is show. They are walking. Shadow is going through a parking lot, and Shane is going through the dining room. Shane reaches the kitchen and waits for Shadow]-
BSW- Well, Shane is there first. This isn't the first time we saw Shane wearing that.
Roxx- Yeah. But Hostile Meltdown was funny! That man ran out and kissed him!
Nikki- Hahaha yes it was!
-[Flash to screen again. Shadow enters through a back door. As he does, a knive flys at his head]-
BSW- Shane throwing knives at Shadow! He throws two more! And Shadow is...pinned to the door? Shane has an incredible aim!
Roxx- I'd say! Most people have to go to some knive throwing school!
BSW- Shane running in. Running knee lift! He kicks Shadow. Shane grabs a metal spatula and swings at Shadow. Shadow ducks. He pulls the knives out, and ducks in time to get under a mule kick by Shane. Shadow grabs Shanes foot.Pushes Shane into the wooden counter top. Shane rolls on top of it. Shadow runs in. Splash! The counter cracked! Shane is pulled off by Shadow. Shadow sets him up on his shoulders. TKO onto the counter! It snaps! Shane is left in a pile of splinters. Shadow looking around for something.....waitaminute!! Psycho Jay!!! Psycho Jay is here!! He has a canoe?!?!
Nikki- What is Jay doing?!
Roxx- A canoe?!
BSW- Jay just nailed Shane with a canoe!!! Shadow didn't even see it!!! Jay is running away, but the damage has been done!!! Shadow is still searching!!!
Nikki- A canoe is bad...but this is gonna get brutal! Wait til they spot the deep fryers!
Roxx- No. They turned those off. That sucks.
Nikki- And I think thats what Shadow was looking for. He spotted them!
BSW- He has Shane now. Scoops him up. Body slam into the deep fryers! Shadow is wondering why Shane isn't frying... Shane reaches up and grabs him by the throat! Shane choking him!Shadow slips on the fat dripping off Shane! Shadow flat on his back! Shane rolls out of the fryer onto Shadow for the cover!
Nikki- Shane making typical rookie mistakes. Sloppy cover.
Roxx- Shut up!
BSW- Shane now back up. He has a plate from off the counter. Smashes it over Shadow's head! Broken glass all over the floor. Shane picks him up. Suplex onto the linolium floor! Shane hurt himself there too. Shane with a nip up. He walks along the counter, pulling stuff off it onto Shadow. Forks, spoons, napkins, a rolling pin, among other things. Shane covers again.
Nikki- Shane is getting mad!
Roxx- I'd say! He is beating Shadow with the rolling pin!
BSW- Shadow looks hurt. Shane stands him on the counter. He climbs up. Kick to the gut. The Prime TIme Death Drop (Top Rope DDT, well, ddt off the counter)! Shane just moves his arm over Shadow.
Winner- Shane Andrews
BSW- That was great!
Nikki- No it wasn't...
Roxx- Oh well! I just want to know what the f*ck Psycho Jay was doing there.
Nikki- So do I.
BSW- Ditto. Hopefully Hostile Takeover will shed some light. Right now, we have to get to ringside once again. This next match is important to Tony Davis, but extra special to CA.
Roxx- Davis wants the NA title once again...CA wants to leave the fed on a high note!
Nikki- Who will be the better man?
Ring Announcer - This match is the fight for Luscious.... winner gets the NNorth American Title match... coming to the ring... weighing in at 235 pounds... Chris Anthony!!
("Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'n' Roses plays as CA comes to the ring.)
Ring Announcer - And his opponent....
(Tony Davis walks out....)
Ring Announcer - TONY DAVIS!!!!
BSW - Well... the bell has rung...OH MAN...Davis just rushed Anthony and they are really going at it. They are exchanging right and lefts and neither wants to back down from the other man. Suddenly, both men go to rake the others' eyes and are both blindened from it for a second...
Roxx - HAHA..what a bunch of retards. Ouch...Tony Davis just grabbed Anthony and just flung him toward the other turnbuckle and Anthony hit hard. He now falls down and his back seems to be in severe pain. HAHA..get him Tony Davis...beat that moron up.
BSW - Shutup..here comes Tony Davis who picks up Anthony and whips him to the ropes. He then bends down and is about to catch Chris Anthony with a back body drop...but Chris Anthony sees it and kicks Tony Davis right in the face. Chris Anthony then walks over to him and kicks him in the gut. He then puts Davis between his legs and picks him up...AND DOWN with a humungous powerbomb!! Oh man...the crowd is going to crazy and Davis is hurt!!
Nikki - Chris Anthony then comes over and picks Davis up who is still feeling the pain and the after effect of that huge Chris Anthony powerbomb. Chris Anthony then punches Davis in the face and Davis punches right back. Chris Anthony then just thumbs Davis in the eye and picks him up and down hard with a bodyslam! CA then picks him up and whips him towards the rope...and on the way back Tony Davis ducks a clothesline and goes the other way...oh man..flying clothesline by Tony Davis as the crowd goes wild. He then comes over and picks up CA and whips him to the corner. He rushes right after him but Tony Davis moves out of the way and Anthony hits himself right in the chest...
BSW - Wow..and look at that...Tony Davis comes in from behind and rolls Anthony up...the count...1...2...NO! That was close but both men are right back up and are punching away right at eachother. They then lock up but Tony Davis gets the advantage and gets Anthony in a side headlock...but Anthony whips Tony Davis right into the ropes and catches him with a back body drop out of the RING on the way back!! WoW...what a move!!
Roxx - But wait a minute..that was nothing...look at this...here comes Chris Anthony....he whips himself off the ropes and hits Tony Davis with a suicide dive through the ropes to the outside!! WOW...what a move!! Both men are down but Chris Anthony gets up first and picks Tony Davis up but slams him right down to the mat..
Nikki - Wait a minute..what is that madman doing now? He is getting on the ring apron and starts running and JUMPS off the apron and down onto Davis with a huge, Mic Foley-type elbow drop! What a move!! Chris Anthony is crazy...but wait a minute..he walks right over and picks Davis right back up and slams him right back down...what the hell is he doing?!?
Roxx - Holy sh*t...he is going back up on the apron and goes all the way up TO THE TOPE ROPE!!! He looks at the crowd who are going crazy and jumps off the tope rope and to the floor attempting for a HUMUNGOUS ELBOW DROP! OH NO...Davis just moved out of the way...and Chris Anthony may have broken his own elbow with that unbeleivable move...man...Chris Anthony is in big trouble...
BSW - JT is missing all of the hardcore action, and the blood!
Nikki - I'm glad that idiot isn't here.
Roxx - Davis just calmly walks over to Chris Anthony and picks him up...he moves him over to the ring post and puts him in a hammer lock and drives him SHOULDER FIRST into that steel ring post!! Chris Anthony is hurt but Davis picks him right up and wraps his arm right around the ring post and pulls as CA is screaming in pain because of his hurt arm...
Nikki - There you go...dislocate it...be RUTHLESS!! Davis then picks him up off the ground and rolls him right back into the ring. Davis gets in the ring very slowly and is beginning to act just a little bit cocky like he has CA beat...but that may be a mistake...CA is crazy...he may pull something off here...
BSW - You damn right its a mistake..but Davis comes over and is right back on top of Anthony..he is stomping all over his fallen opponent and is concentrating on the arm and elbow...he then picks Anthony up and whips him into the corner..he rushes in and catches him with a huge clothesline...Chris Anthony is in trouble..
Roxx - You damn right he's in trouble...Davis now picks Chris Anthony up and sits him on the top turnbuckle as the fans are going crazy when they see Tony Davis going up there with him. Tony Davis now hooks Chris Anthony and they come off the top with a huge SUPERPLEX!!! Unbeleivable...
Nikki - But both men are down and seem to have been hurt because of that last move...but wait a minute..Tony Davis is moving and covrers Chris Anthony..1..2..NO! Tony Davis seems shocked but gets up anyway with still a very shocked expression on his face as Chris Anthony seems to be laughing. What the hell? This guy is nuts..he likes pain...look at him...he is laughing...holy crap..
BSW - But Tony Davis isn't letting that distract him..he picks Chris Anthony up and puts him between his legs. He then picks him up..holds him up there..and down into a PILEDRIVER! Man..did you see Chris Anthony's head bounce off the mat there? Holy crap...Tony Davis covers him...1..2...NO!!!!!!!!! What the hell? Tony Davis is in shock and whips Chris Anthony into the ropes...
Roxx - But Chris Anthony ducks a clothesline and catches Davis with a cross body block on the way back to a huge pop from the crowd...here's the pin...1...2...NO! Almost...but not good enough..both men get up very staggered but have enough in them to start whacking at eachother with rights and lefts all over the place. Suddenly, Anthony gets the advantage and whips Davis into the ropes and catches him with a huge powerslam on the way back..cover...1...2...thr...NO!!! Unbeleivable...
Nikki - Now Anthony is shocked...he picks Davis up who rakes him in the eye...oh crap...here it comes...the Davis §lam is upon us..but Anthony gets away and is waiting on Davis from behind....there it is...that paralyzing submission maneuvre...sharpshooter....Davis is fighting it but Anthony has it on tight...but Davis gets to the ropes and CA breaks the hold...
Roxx - Davis still down from that hold. Anthony going under the ring again.... a TABLE!!! A TABLE!!! ANOTHER TABLE!!! THREE TABLES!!!! HE'S INSANE!!!! He's STACKING THEM UP!!! WHAT AN IDIOT!!! He thows Davis on top of all of them...... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Nikki - This is sick!
BSW - Chris Anthony going to the top rope, with Davis on those three tables, high up!! This is going to be suicide!! HE'S GOING TO DO A FLYING ELBOW DROP!!!! NO!!!!!! DAVIS MOVED!!! HE ROLLED OFF OF ALL THOSE TABLES!!!! CHRIS ANTHONY FELL THROUGH ALL 3 OF THOSE TABLES.... ELBOW FIRST!!!! ANTHONY IS OUT!!! Davis is kinda out. Davis gets his arm over Chris Anthony...... 1......
Roxx - 2.......
Nikki - 3!!!!!!!!!
Ring Announcer - The winner of this match... number one contender for the North American Title... and keeps Lucsious... Tony Davis!!
Nikki - MY GOD!!! THAT'S HARDCORE!!! The two are both out in the ring, and bleeding badly!
Roxx - That was pretty cool!
BSW - It was unbelievable.....Tony Davis is getting up slowly, as well as Chris Anthony.....Lucsious is not happy here...Davis hands her over to CA, and raises Anthony's hand up! What a sign of sportsmanship by Davis!!
Roxx- What a pansy.
Nikki- Tony Davis does something nice. What a guy. Next match please.
BSW- The men are all clearing the ring....so let's get to this next match!
Roxx - Between two men that pretty well suck.
Nikki - Hey, think of it, Teddy. If they sucked, how could they get the Telelvision Title, and TV Title shot?
Roxx - Well.... good point. Never thought of it that way.
BSW - HAHA!! Well, let's get to the intros.
Ring Announcer - This match is scheuled for one fall and for the TV Title.... making his way to the ring... weighing in at 257 pounds... SCOTT CUNIGAN!!
("Train of Consequnces" by Megadeath plays as Cugigan enters the ring.)
Ring Announcer - And his opponent.... weighing in at 276 pounds... being accompained by Lindley Taber.... the IWO TV Champion.... JOHN McRAE!!
("Mouth" by Bush plays as Lindley comes to the ring behind McRae and waits at ringside.)
*DING DING DING!!!!!*
Roxx - And there's the bell...and holy crap...this is strange...McRae just bumrushed Cunigan and knocked him right down with an immediately clothesline. John McRae now picks him up...runs to the ropes and takes the Cunigan down with a huge RIGHT HAND!!
BSW - WOW, these are unusual tactics from this usually techincal wrestler. And now, look at this, McRae picks Cunigan up and is about to throw him to the outside, but the Cunigan slaps his hand away and begins to punch McRae. A right, a left...and holy crap...McRae just gouged Cunigan in the eye and just punched him so hard that Cunigan went over the top rope and all the way to the outside!!
Nikki - I hope they don't come over here!
Roxx - WOW, McRae is really putting some power behind those blows and he now follows Cunigan to the outside. As soon as McRae gets outside he runs at Cunigan and clotheslines him right over the RAILING!
McRae now reaches over the railing and picks Cunigan up. He now hook him and ATOMIC DROPS HIM ONTO THE RAILING!! OUCH!!
BSW - Damn..McRae is being vicious. He now looks at the fans and raises his hands as they continue to cheer. Cunigan now falls from the railing and is in tremendous amount of pain...
Roxx - Well, wouldn't you be in..oh MY BAD..you wouldn't..HAHA...
BSW - Shutup you retard.....
Nikki - Calm down boys....holy crap...McRae now walks over to the announcer's table and is grabbing a CHAIR! He now walks over to the fallen Cunigan and picks him up...OH MAN...only to knock him right back down with a vicious CHAIR SHOT!! McRae now goes up on the ring apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He is waiting up there with the chair still in his hand and is waiting for Cunigan to get up. Cunigan now gets up and OH MY GOD...VAMPYRE JUST HIT HIM RIGHT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!
Roxx - WOW!! That had to hurt!! John McRae is showing all of us here that he is a little more than just a technical Wrestler right here tonigth. He now drops the chair right beside Cunigan and picks the Cunigan up. He now rolls him back into the ring and follows him right in...
BSW - But look at that, the fans are starting a "CUNIGAN" chant and Cunigan seems a bit alive! The fans are really helping him out as Cunigan has a very intense look on his face. John McRae now picks him up and shoves him into the ropes and attempts a back body drop on the way back, but telegraphs it too much and Cunigan kicks him right in the chest. WOW! We heard that one all the way up here!!
Roxx - Shutup..they know that..so did they. Cunigan now walks over to McRae and whips him into the turnbuckle...he rushes in after him and splashes him in the corner!! As McRae triest to fall down, Cunigan picks him back up and climbs the turnbuckle...he begins to punch McRae...
(Fans count along as Cunigan pounds on McRae with punches: ONE..TWO..THREE..FOUR..FIVE..SIX.. SEVEN..EIGHT..NINE..TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Nikki - WOW..the fans are really into this one and are really behind Cunigan. Cunigan now picks McRae up and puts him in a side headlock, but John counters with a Belly to Back suplex and gets right up. John now gets down on the ground with Cunigan and turns him over on his stomach. He now puts Cunigan in the Armbar and will not let go...
Roxx - WOW...Cunigan is screaming in pain...his arm is breaking as we speak! But that retard won't give up! GIVE UP YOU MONKEY faced retard!! Well, after a minute, John finally breaks the hold and picks Cunigan up. He now whips Cunigan to the ropes and attempts a clothesline on the way back, but Cunigan ducks. BUT OH MAN..on the way back Vampyre catches Cunigan in an Abdominal Stretch...and Cunigan is now screaming in pain!!
BSW - Why do you two keep saying 'WOW'?
Nikki - 'Cause it's unbelievable.
Roxx - You said it too, Scott.
BSW - Yeah, Once!
Roxx - Well, that counts!
BSW - *sigh*
Nikki - Quit trying to be me!
BSW - Why in the hell would I wanna be a girl?!
Nikki - I don't know. But you sighed.
BSW - So. Doesn't everyone?
Roxx - BACK TO WRESTLING!! There's a Television Title match here.
Nikki - Look at that...Cunigan is not giving up...he is really showing me something here. In fact, he is showing all of these fans something as they are really getting behind Cunigan. He is still in pain but seems to be getting power from the fans and HIP TOSSES McRAE RIGHT OFF OF HIM!!!
Roxx - Cunigan now has a huge burst of energy and runs at McRae and clotheslines him right down to the mat! He know picks McRae up and whips him to the ropes, but McRae reverses it and whips Cunigan to the ropes. McRae misses a superkick on the way back, a clothesline on the next, BUT CATCHES Cunigan IN A SLEEPER HOLD THE THIRD TIME AROUND!!
BSW - WOW..what a sequence of moves between these two fine atheletes. But McRae seems to have Cunigan almost completely out cold! The referee walks over and raises Cunigan's hand for the ONE. The fans now begin to cheer Cunigan on. There's the TWO. Just one more. But the fans are going ecstatic and start that "Cunigan" chant as his hand DROPS for the third time..NO!!
Nikki - There... you said wow again!
BSW - OH F'N WELL!! I'm gonna say it all I want.
Roxx - WOW..Cunigan is now getting pumped by all of this crowd support! He is on his feet and turns it into a side headlock as he elbows McRae right in the gut. AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! He now gets out of the hold and runs towards the ropes..CROSS BODY BLOCK BY Cunigan..and there's the FIRST PIN OF THE MATCH..ONE..TWO..TH..NO!! John McRae kicks out..it definitely won't be that easy..this guy beat BRS and BUSTA BYRD in one WEEK!!
BSW - Well, you're right about that, but Cunigan is not deterred at all! He gets right up and knocks John McRae down with a clothesline. He now picks him up and kicks him right in the gut. He puts him between his legs..AND OH MAN..A HUGE POWERBOMB!!! Cunigan now covers John McRae..ONE..TWO..THR..NO!!!!!!!!!!! What a kick out!!
Roxx - Wow! Vampyre is tough. Both men get up and rush at eachother and THEY BUMP HEADS! OUCH! That could've hurt. The referee's count is up to 5 but Vampyre crawls over and covers Cunigan..ONE..TWO..NO!!! Both men now pull themselves up to their feet but McRae gets up first and walks over to Cunigan and begins to stomp him on the leg!
Nikki - OH MAN! We all know where this is leading. And he is still working on Cunigan's leg. And here it comes! THERE IT IS!! McRae is hooking it on and has it on..Cunigan is feeling the figure-four leg lock!! His leg is literally snapping. I don't' know how he is experiencing this humungous amount of pain!!
Roxx - I know what you mean..and look at him..he still ISN'T SUBMITTING! WOW..HE HAS GOT GUTS! AND LISTEN TO THE FANS..WOW!!
BSW - Folks, the fans here are going crazy and are chanting for Cunigan to get to the ropes. AND LOOK AT THAT!! Cunigan GETS TO THE ROPES AND McRAE IS SHOCKED!!! WOW!! THIS GUY IS TENCIOUS AS HELL!! But oh no..McRae breaks the hold and drags Scot Cunigan to the corner of the ring... McRae goes to the other side... OH NO!!! CUNIGAN UP.... McRAE RUNS.... SPEAR!!!! IT'S THE HEART PIERCING STAKE!!!! Lindley outside watching, cheering and claping. COVER FROM McRAE...... 1..... 2......3!!!!!!
Ring Announcer - Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, and STILL IWO Television Champion...... JOHN "VAMPYRE" McRAE!!!
BSW - Still IWO TV Champ... wow!
Nikki - See you said wow again!
Roxx - Hey, Nikki, that's only what whor.... uh-oh...........
*SLAP SLAP SLAP*
Roxx - DAMNIT!!
BSW - McRae is leaving the ring. Wait! Scott Cunigan has a mic! What could this be?
Scott Cunigan - Where do you think you're going, Vampyre!? You know that this isn't over! Now, get your ass back in here and face me like a man!
Roxx - What Scott said must've struck a nerve, because Vampyre's getting back in the ring. He's geting in the ring, and...RIGHT IN SCOTT CUNIGAN'S FACE!
Roxx - This place is going to explode if these two start back up!
BSW - Cunigan and McRae jawing with each other now.... What's this? Cunigan is backing up, and he has a smile on his face! I don't like the looks of this!
(The lights go completely out, and Breaking the Law by Judas Priest starts to play. The crowd is going absolutely nuts!)
Roxx - What the Hell is this!?
BSW - Would you shut the Hell up!? I think I can see some movement in the ring...
(The lights go back up, and we can see John McRae surrounded by AAA!!!)
BSW - IT'S AAA! THEY'VE GOT VAMPYRE ENCIRCLED! EVEN SPIDER AND JOHN SMYTHE ARE IN THE CIRCLE!
Roxx - That's not all! They've all got chairs! Well, except for Mad Max, but he has Bat! YES! YES! YES! THE RING IS ABOUT TO BECOME BLOODSOAKED!!
BSW - Only Scott Cunigan is outside of the circle. Check out that look on Cunigan's face! He's loving this!
Roxx - Wish I could say the same for John McRae. He knows he's trapped! Wait just one second....It's Lindley!
BSW - Lindley Taber is trying to get to the ring. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME!? IS THAT....?
Roxx - YES! BRITNEY SPEARS! BRITNEY SPEARS IS HOLDING LINDLEY BACK! What is she doing out here, anyways?
BSW - Ask Mad Max. Now that he's seen her, he's turned around and is waving to her! And...she's waving back? What's going on? Roxx?
Roxx - BLOOD... LESBIAN.... BRITNEY... BREAST IMPLANTS......
Scott Cunigan - Tonight is the beginning of a new era for the IWO. Tonight, one faction begins it's rise to prominance. That faction is AAA! If you remember my last interview, you'll remember that I made no guarantees about Max winning the world title tonight, but I did make a guarantee about the TV title. Guess what? It came true. Now, to show everyone what it's all about!
BSW - What it's all about? What does he mean?
Roxx - He's walking over towards Britney spears, who is stil managing to keep Lindley out of the ring. He's saying something to her without the mic. Britney lets Lindley go! LINDLEY TABER IS ENTERING THE RING! This is getting weird.
BSW - Lindley walks over to Scott, and HUGS HIM! LINDLEY TABER JUST HUGGED SCOTT CUNIGAN! IT WAS A SET UP!
Roxx - Listen to this crowd! They love it!
BSW - Lindley isn't done yet! She squeezes in the circle and stands next to John McRae. She smiles at McRae, then says something to John Smythe. She reaches into Smythe's trenchcoat, and pulls out.....
a pair of scissors?
Scott Cunigan - Alright, Lindley. Time to show the world just what kind of man John McRae is! Cut the shirt off!'
Roxx - John McRae is standing there totally dumbfounded as Lindley Taber is cutting the Black Sabbath shirt off of him! McRae's upper body is exposed! Where's this going?
Scott Cunigan - Guys...DO IT!
BSW - AAA are raising the chairs above their heads! Vampyre is going to feel that cold metal on his bare flesh! This is just wrong!
Roxx - WHAT!? AAA just let the chairs fall behind them to the ground! Now, they're backing away!
BSW - Cunigan is walking up to him....THEY SHAKE HANDS! CUNIGAN AND MCRAE SHAKE HANDS! IT WAS A SETUP!
Roxx - Mad Max hands John McRae a AAA t-shirt...he puts it on! John Mcrae is now a member of AAA! Now, Max is handed the mic from Cunigan!
Mad Max - Doesn't he look better? Now he can play our game! In fact, so can the rest of the IWO! IT'S FUN TIME!!!!!!!
(As Mad Max drops the mic, Breaking the Law once again plays. AAA celebrate in the ring, as the crowd starts to chant TRI-PLE A! TRI-PLE A!)
BSW - Let's get to the next match.
Nikki: Ladies and Gentleman, introducing first, wieghing 238 and half
pounds, JOEY RAPPAPORT!
"My Own Worst ememy" by Lit plays as Joey Rappaport walks out. He starts
flirting with a young lady when the lights go out."
Roxx: AHH, I am scared of the dark.
BSW: What is happening. I hear noises but I don't see anything!
Roxx: Can't go to sleep, clowns will eat me, can't go to sleep......
*The lights go back on as Justin Shack and Ken War are seen beating on Joey*
BSW: Another violent attack from Violent Attitude.
Roxx: KICK HIS ASS!
BSW: Shack hit grabing a mic.
Shack: Ladies and Gentleman, he has been...SHACKED 4 LIFE! Now, the pacfic
champ will exit the ring and
BSW: Benny The Cameraman hits Shack in the head with a his camera. Joey
his up, KAMIKAZE KICK ON KEN WAR!
Roxx: Look, Benny is on the top turnbuckle!
BSW: Joey drags War onto Shack, Big Splash by Benny!
Roxx: POWER TO THE FAT MEN!
BSW: Bennys drags War outside and sits on him. Ih my god this is sick
Roxx: HE IS EATING BEANS! HE IS FARTING! HAHAHAHA!!!
BSW: Back inside the ring Joey is attacking Shack. Kick to the stomach,
DDT! Go goes up to the top rope, Twinsting Moonsualt!
Roxx: Beans, beans the wonderful fruit, the more you eat the more you fart,
the more you fart the better you feel, now your ready for another meal!
BSW: I'll try to ignore that. Joey Rappaport si just standing there, Shack
from behind, Shack Attack! Kick to the stomach, SHACKED 4 LIFE!
1......2.....3, no kick out!
Roxx: Ken War passed out.
BSW: Benny the Cameraman stumbles into the ring and clotheslines Shack. He
sits on his head and....
BSW: Shack is tapping out, the ref calls for the bell.
Ref: The winner and new pacific chamipon..BENNY THE CAMERAMAN!!!
Rappaport: Congrats Bennys but you arn't in this match so you can't win,
Benny: I know, carry on.
BSW: Benny picks up Shack and holds this arms behind his back. Joey with a
Kamikaze kick! Another, another and..
Roxx: BENNY FARTED! Joey and shack faint. Joey lands ontop of Shack.
1....2...the ref passes out.
BSW: The whole aduience fainted. I feel dizy.
Roxx: Good ol' gas mask. More feds come out and Bennys farts some more!
Here is noe with a gas mask, 1.......2..........3!
Winner And New Pacific Champion, JOEY RAPPOPORT!
Roxx: Oh no, Benny farts some more, my gas mask his melting, ahh!
BSW- What's the matter Nikki?
Nikki- What do you mean?
BSW- You've said like four words in the past 30 minutes. Anything wrong?
Nikki- I feel bad for that poor toelicker.....
BSW- Oh, now you regret it?!?!
Nikki- Can we just move on?!
Roxx- Yes, shut up and let's go on to the next match!
BSW- Well, looks like we are going to have another great match-up! This time
for the Intercontinental Tag Titles, currently held by The Crypt
Roxx- I am SURE that Foriegn Legion will win this! I know it!
Nikki- But, they are up against three other teams. The team with the size
advantage usually comes out in long matches. Thats why I say the Crypt have
it won, before they even step into the ring.
BSW- Say what you will. But I think that The Prime Time Soldiers have a
chance at this. They have been doing pretty good lately...
Nikki- Lets just get this started. Down to the ring announcer!
Ring Announcer- The following match is scheduled for one fall, with no time
limit! Introducing first, the champions! Being accompanied to the ring by
Spider, at a total combined weight of 539 pounds, they are, THE CRYPT!!!
["Seek and Destroy" by Metallica begins to play. The team of Black Assassin
and Capital Punishment, along with Spider, make their way to the ring]
Ring Announcer- Next, One of the challenging teams. Being accompanied to the
ring by The Brainiac, at a total combined weight of 491 pounds, they are the
[The British and Canadian National Anthems Mixed begins to play. Brother Al
and Crazy Canuck start to walk to the ring, followed by The Brainiac]
Ring Announcer- The second challenging team. Being accompanied to the ring
by Chris Zimmerman, at a total combined weight of 397 pounds, they are The
["Anthem for the Year 2000" by silverchair begins to play. All three run to
Ring Announcer: And the final team.. being accompanied to the ring by
Ariana... at a total combined weight of 495 pounds... the team of Ruff Ryder
and Tyler Johnson... The Prime Time Soldiers!!
["Ambitions Az A Ryder" by 2pac begins to play. PTS and Ariana walk to the
BSW- Here we go! Black Assassin of The Crypt and Tyler Johnson are gonna
start off.. Collar and elbow tie up. Assassin with a headlock. Johnson
throws him off the ropes.. Drop toe hold drives Black Assassin's head into
the mat! Johnson quickly drops a leg to the back of Assassin's head. Johnson
picks Black Assassin up. Whips him into the ropes. Assassin reverses!
Clothesline! Black Assassin slowing things down with an armbar. Ruff Ryder
comes off the top with a diving clothesline to Assassin! Here comes Capital
Punishment! And everyone else! It is an all out brawl! Assassin throws
Jordan Howitt of The Prep Kids out of the ring. Capital Punishment being
double teamed by the Prime Time Soldiers. Brother Al and Crazy Canuck
attacking Randall McCloud. Black Assassin now helping Foriegn Legion! He
pulls Randall out of the corner.. suplex!
Nikki- This is carnage! Somebody has to break this up!
Roxx- Look at that pathetic ref. He couldn't break a Kit-Kat bar with a
sludge hammer lifted on a crane!
Nikki- Don't be so mean! Besides, I saw you in back trying to break that Kit
Kat bar of yours!
BSW- Foriegn Legion is brawling with both of the Prep Kids on the outside.
The Crypt is double teaming Ruff Ryder, and Johnson is out cold.Ruff Ryder
thrown over the top by Capital Punishment! He lands on the Prep Kids!
Brother Al in the ring! He is getting stomped by both of the Crypt!
Roxx- I love this! The Crypt is dominating! And there are no count outs! It
is a four way match!
Nikki- Don't say anymore!
Roxx- That's why...
Nikki- I didn't think so!
BSW- Johnson is getting back up! The Crypt still attacking Brother Al.
Canuck is outside battling with The Prep Kids and Ruff Ryder. OH! Johnson
with a double low blow to both Crypt members! He rolls up Capital
Roxx- The ref isn't counting! He doesn't know who the legal men are!
Nikki- He is calling for security!
BSW- And here they come! They are breaking the men up! Forcing them back to
their corners. Both Crypt members are there. Brother Al manages to roll to
his Legions corner. Jordan Howitt gets out of the crowd of security and gets
back to his corner.Crazy Canuck gives Randall McCloud a shove as they both
go back to their corners.Finally, Ruff Ryder gets DRUG back to his corner.
Now the ref calling in two men. In come... Capital Punishment and... who is
gonna come in?
Roxx- Jordan Howitt better! I wanna see him get beat!
Nikki- Shut up Roxx!
Nikki- I told you not to talk!
BSW- And the other man in the ring is... Crazy Canuck! Canuck ducks a
forearm shot. Canuck dropkicks the big man. He doesn't go down! Canuck up
again. Another one! Cappy stumbles into the ropes. Canuck dropkicks him
again.. Capital Punishment sent backwards over the ropes! Here comes Black
Assassin! The ref is trying to hold him back. Jordan Howitt comes off the
top rope from behind Canuck! Flying Bulldog! What a move! Howitt slides out
of the ring. Cappy slides in and makes a cover.
Roxx- Yes!! Lets go Can-uck.
Nikki- Did anyone ever tell you how...good you look?
Roxx- Why, no they haven't..
Nikki- No wonder! You don't!
BSW- Hehehe. Back in the ring, Cappy has tagged in Black Assassin, who just
allowed Canuck to tag in Jordan Howitt! Howitt runs at Assassin. Flying
cross body press! The pin! No! Black Assassin kicks out before the one
count! Howitt stomping Assassin, to little avail.Assassin up. Howitt kicks
Assassin in the stomache. NO! Assassin grabs his foot! Dragon screw legwhip!
Assassin locks on a leg grapevine!
Nikki- And in comes McCloud to break the hold!
Roxx- No he was supposed to break HIS LEG!
BSW- Well, Howitt makes the tag. No! Assassin stops him from making it!
Assassin whips him into his corner. Sets him up top... THE REAL DEATH VALLEY
DRIVER! Assassin makes the cover. In comes Cappy to stop McCloud from
breaking the pin!
Eliminated- The Prep Kids
Nikki- See I told ya!
Roxx- It's elimination STUPID! All the teams have to be eliminated you hoe!
BSW- Brother Al now attacking Assassin, who somehow made a tag to Ruff
Ryder. Ruff Ryder blocks a punch. Connects with his own. And another! Kick
to the gut.. Facebuster!
Roxx- Ouch.. that looked painful! He hit hard! Get up Al!
BSW- Ryder stomping away at Brother Al. Picks him up. Kick. Suplex! Rolls
over.. Two suplexes! Rolls again! BLOCKED BY BROTHER AL! Reverses it into a
vertical suplex! And he drives Ruff Ryder down, hard. Al now tags in Crazy
Roxx- Yeah! Whoo! Go Canuck!
Nikki- Give it up! We all know Canadians can't wrestle! Take Lance Storm, or
Ian Kain (j/k) for example!
Roxx- Thats not true! They are some of my favorite wrestlers!
BSW- Give it up Roxx! Canuck off the ropes. He ducks a clothesline. Ruff
Ryder off the ropes. Canuck with a left handed clothesline. No! Ruff Ryder
spins around him! DDT! The cover!
Nikki- Come on pin that Canadian!
Roxx- Shut up! Canadians are great wrestlers!
Nikki- No they aren't!
BSW- Ruff Ryder whips Canuck off the ropes. Northern Lights Suplex! Ryder
doesn't go for the bridge. Picks him up. Sets up Canuck.. OVERHEAD
CHOKESLAM! RUFF RYDER'S ROLE!
Eliminated- Foriegn Legion
BSW- Down to two teams. Crypt and Prime Time Soldiers. Ruff Ryder of pTs in
the ring. Capital Punishment in the ring for the Crypt. Collar and elbow
tie-up. Cappy with a hammer lock. He lifts Ruff Ryder right off the ground!
Capital Punishment lets him go. Capital Punishment stomping him. Cappy tags in Black Assassin.......HERE COMES JOHNSON!!! JOHNSON NAILS THE ASSASSIN! HE NAILS CAPPY!! JOHNSON CLEANING HOUSE! THE REF IS FORCING HIM BACK OUT OF THE RING!!! CAPPY ROLLS TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING...HE GRABS A CHAIR!! RYDER IS GETTING UP AT ABOUT THE SAME PACE AS THE ASSASSIN!! THEY'RE BOTH UP!! ASSASSIN SWINGS AND MISSES, RUFF RYDER NAILS HIM WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION, DDT!!! THE ASSASSIN IS OUT COLD!! CAP!! CAPITAL PUNISHMENT JUST CAME IN AND LEVELED HIM WITH THAT CHAIR!! HE ROLLS THE ASSASSIN OUT OF THE RING AND COVERS!! THE REF TURNS AROUND, 1...2...3!!! IT'S OVER!!!
Roxx- Well that sucks for the Prime Time Soliders, doesn't it?! Hahaha!
Nikki- God that match just took too damn long. I want to go home already.
BSW- You've done hundreds of these mega events before, live with this one.
Roxx- Let's just get to the next match.
BSW: Here we go. This one is taking place in a desert. Yes, A DESERT. The winner will be the #1 Contender to the Extreme Title. These two guys are ready for a war.....
Ring Announcer: This is a DESERT HELL MATCH!!! IT IS FOR THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE EXTREME TITLE! AND NOW, THE PARTICPANTS!
Ring Announcer: He is a man that has arguably been Ken War's greatest nemesis... he has laid waste to War on many an occassion... HE IS THE ELIMINATOR.. FROM THE AAA, JAX STONE!
Ring Announcer: And his opponent......He has held every singles title in the IWO.... he is known as the most extreme man in the history of wrestling. One Half of Violent Attitude... The War Machine...... KEN WAR!
Roxx: War and Stone eyeing each other... Stone with a right hand. Another one, another, and one more rocks Ken War. Stone steps back, spinning heel kick takes the War Machine down! Stone stomping away at War's back, he picks War up, suplexes him down onto the sand. Stone now over to War, War with a fistful of sand to Stone's eyes!
BSW: War now in charge of this one, there are weapons literally all over this desert, War's located a trash can, he dents it over Stone's skull! War puts it down, Stone with a low blow! Stone setting up War, Northern Lights--- HOLY SH!T!!! COUNTERED INTO THE DAMNDEST DDT I HAVE EVER SEEN! Stone may be out! Cover by Ken War! 1, 2, Kickout!
Nikki: Jax Stone slowly attempting to get back to his feet there, War has managed to locate a chair, he waits on Stone, HE WAITED TOO LONG! Stone with a jump spinning back kick shoves the chair right back in War's face! He puts teh chair on the ground, scoops Ken War up, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE CHAIR! Jax Stone now stomping away at Ken War, and he drags War deeper into this goddamned desert!
Roxx: Ken War is on his feet, and he and Stone are brawling, War with a kick in the gut, Powerbomb! Stone stumbles backwards... AND HE PUTS ON THE BRAKES JUST BEFORE HE HITS THE CACTUS! Ken War digging for something... THAT'S HIS SCYTHE!!! WAR BURIED THE SCYTHE IN THE DESERT! HE SWINGS.... WAR MISSES, BUT HE CHOPPED THE CACTUS IN TWO! Stone rams the cactus into War's chest.. places it on the ground, spines up.......
BSW: ELIMINATION ON THE CACTUS!!!! The referee over to count, 1, 2, War escapes! War crawls over, he has the scythe again.. HE SLASHES STONE RIGHT IN THE FACE! Blood is pouring! Stone now severly ticked, he has War up on his shoulders, Samoan Drop! Ken War stumbling, he gets to his feet, grabs Jax, piledriver on the sand. How much effect will that have on sand? It's f*cking sand! War picks Stone back up, swinging neckbreaker!
Nikki: War looking around, he sees a barbed wire baseball bat up on a cactus. He carefully gets it.. Wait! Jax Stone is on a rock formation! He dives.... Hurricanrana! Stone now with the bat, War up, STONE NAILS WAR RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WUITH A BARBED WIRE BALL BAT! War went down in a heap! Stone locks on a figure four! Quite an unusual move in a hardcore match! War turns the figure four over! Stone reeling in pain, and he releases the hold! Both men up, Double Clothesline!
Roxx: War is up first, he's walking over to a stone area, no sand here folks.... Jax Stone is up, War with a kick, Stunner! Ken War has another chair, and he found a ladder! A ladder in the middle of a desert! Jax Stone slowly to his feet, Ken War with a chair shot! Kenny climbing that ladder...... wait, he's moving it... TOWARD THE END OF A 100 FOOT CLIFF! Jax and War now both climbing the ladder... Jax with a punch to War, War with one to Jax. War throws Stone's arm over his shoulder, he's signalling for the.. NO! HE CAN'T DO THAT!!! HE WON'T DO THAT!!!!
BSW: OF COURSE HE WILL!!!!! THIS GUY IS A PSYCHOPATH!
Roxx: NO!!!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BSW: HOLY MOTHER F*CKING SHIT!!!!! KEN WAR JUST JUMPED OFF THAT LADDER WITH JAX STONE!! THEY ARE FALLING TOGETHER AS WE SPEAK TO THE DESERT FLOOR 100 FEET BELOW!! WHAT THE HELL IS WAR THINKING?! WAIT A MINUTE... THE DROP! KEN WAR WITH THE DROP FROM 100 FEET IN THE AIR, BUT IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER A WHOLE F*CKING LOT BECAUSE BOTH GUYS HAVE GOT TO BE DEAD!
Nikki: Both guys are lying motionless....this isn't good. Ken War just gave Jax Stone The Drop off of a 100 foot cliff, they both landed incredibly hard... there's blood everywhere.. I ...I...I.. honestly don't know what to say!
BSW: That's a first!
Roxx: An ambulance is finally on its way to see if they can save these two guys... even for me, that has got to be the most horrific thing I have seen in my life.... The ambulance personell are getting stretchers out..... Stone is being picked up, as is Ken War....... They are being carried over to an ambulance..................
BSW: THEY'RE ALIVE!!!! AND THE JUIST EACH NAILED THE RESCUE SQUAD GUYS! War and Stone are bleeding from every place CONCIEVABLE, but they are still fighting! War with Stone, STONE HEAD-FIRST INTO TEH AMBULANCE! Stone reels backwards.. War with a inverted piledriver! He's not covering! He places Stone on a strectcher... He climbs up on to the amublance, he jumps, SENTON SPLASH ON STONE SENDING HIM THROUGH THE STRETCHER! Ken War makes a cover, the referee has arrived, 1, 2, kickout! Wow!
Nikki: Somehow these guys are both managing to stand, they take each other head first into the ambulance again. Now they are climbing up teh damn thing, Stone with a boot to the gut, Powerbombs War on the roof! Stone stomping a mudhole in Ken War! Stone lifts War to his feet, DDT! Jax Stone giving some sort of signal.... He has War again, DROP LIKE A STONE!!! DROP LIKE A STONE THROUGH THE AMBULANCE ROOF!!! THESE TWO PSYCHOS ARE IN A DAMN AMBLUANCE, AND THE DRIVER IS DRIVING THE DAMN THING!
Roxx: They are fighting in the back of the ambulance..... War has a bottle of rubbing alcohol, of course he does, that's a staple of a Ken War match, CRACKS IT OVER STONE'S HEAD!! THAT'S GOT TO STING! War hooks Jax's leg, Fisherman's Suplex! Referee counts, 1, 2, kickout by Jax! Jax is up slowly, and he rams War head first into the inside of the ambulance! War stumbling backwards......
BSW: Reverse DDT by Jax Stone! Jax Stone with a leaping elbowdrop! Drove it right into War's heart! Stone hauls Ken War up, Tombstone Piledriver! He has a first aidkit, cracks War in the skull with it! Cover, 1, 2, 3---NO! WAR SOMEHOW GETS A SHOULDER UP!
Stone is disbelieving, AND WAR ROLLS HIM UP! 1, 2, Kickout! Wait a minute... what the hell is that?
Sign: Welcome to Nevada!
BSW: THEY'RE IN NEVADA!!!! THEY'VE LEFT THE STATE! THIS IS A FIRST!!
Nikki: They are still fighting in this ambulance......... Wait a minute... War's dousing the damn ambulance in alcohol.. oh f*ck.......... HE HAS A MATCH!!! SOMEONE STOP THIS THING!!!!!!
BSW: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!!
Nikki: THE AMBULANCE HAS EXPLODED IN A FIREBALL!!! Stone is on fire!!! He grabs Ken War! It's a flaming bear hug!!! Belly to Belly FlamePlex! The fire is put out.. where in Nevada are they?
BSW: I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!!
BSW: LAS VEGAS!!! PUPPY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! WOOHOO!!!!!
Roxx: YES!!! BSW IS RIGHT!!! WE ARE IN LAS VEGAS!!! Ken War and Jax Stone are fighting on the mean streets of Vegas! THEY WALK RIGHT INTO THE MGM GRAND!!! NO!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!! THIS BLOWS!!!!! BRITNEY SPEARS IS GIVING A CONCERT!!! GODDAMNIT! WAIT!!! STONE AND WAR ARE TALKING!!
Jax Stone: You know, I think it is time we did the world a favor....
Ken War: I agree....
Roxx: They charge the stage, War has Britney.. DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!! YES!!!!!! THAT WAS LONG OVERDUE!!!!!!!!!!
Roxx: WAIT A MINUTE!!! A 16 YEAR OLD FAN HAS HIT THE STAGE!!!! HIS NAME TAG SAYS MARK ON IT!!! HE'S FROM A WISCONSIN NUTHOUSE!!!!HE KICKS WAR IN THE GUT!!!! TOP ROPE PEDIGREE! THE SAME FOR JAX STONE!!!!!!!! HE PIKCS UP BRITNEY ANMD RUNS OUT, WITH THE WHITE PADDED ROOM GUYS IN HOT PURSUIT!
BSW: Ken War and Jax are up, WAR THROWS STONE THROUGH THE GLASS DOOR! THEY ARE BACK ON THE STREETS, AND IN ANOTHER CASINO!! Ken and Jax are brawling........ Ken War picks Stone up, running powerslam! LegDrop! They are fighting their way through the casino, up the stairs, War takes Stone head first into a roulette wheel on the second floor!
Nikki: These two guys have fought through two states, and now they are in a damn casino! Stone with a roll of silver dollars, he nails Ken War right in the skull! War beign setip for a piledriver, Back Body Drop by Ken War! War irish whips Stone into teh second floor railing! He places Stone on the railing.. he climbs up with him..... Oh no..... NOT AGAIN!!!!!!
Roxx: YES!!!!! HE CALLS THAT MOVE THE WAR MACHINE!!!! TIGER DRIVER '91 OFF THE SECOND FLOOR RAILING THROUGH A BLACKJACK TABLE! He covers, 1, 2, 3!!! Ken War has won!!!!!! NO HE HASN'T!!! THE REFERE SAYS STONE KICKED OUT!!! War with the referee!! THE DROP THROUGH ANOTHER BLACKJACK TABLE! Referee is down! Stone is down... BUT HE COMES BACK WITH A LOW BLOW! Now they re leaving! Where to now?
BSW: War and Stone exchanging right hands on the Strip! Stone picks up a brick, he nails Ken War right in the face! He covers, but the referee is still out from Ken War Dropping him through a blackjack table! Stone gets up, and backs up aaginst a door to someplace.. War is up........ HE CHARGES!!! SPEAR!!! HE SPEARED JAX STONE BACK THROUGH THAT DOOR! AND BOTH MEN GO BUMPITY BUMP DOWN A BIG @SS FLIGHT OF STAIRS! Where are they?!
Nikki: We have to get a camera down there, so please bear with us. The fans here are standing! What a match this has been!!! I'm getting word that we are getting our feed back, so we're going back to the Desert/Las Vegas Hell match!
Roxx: PORN MUSIC IS PLAYING!!! WE ARE IN A STRIP CLUB!!!
BSW; THAT'S EX VP JOHN!!!!!!!!! HE'S GETTING A LAP DANCE FROM ONE OF THE HOOKERS!!!!!
Roxx: Heh... well, these two guys are in this....... establishment.... War sends Stone into the pole and.......BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz....
BSW: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! BOTH GUYS ARE IN A POOL OF BLOOD! War rolls over and covers Jax Stone! Referee is finally up from the Drop! 1, 2, Kickout! They are somehow standing now and exchanging rights and lefts! Kick by Stone, Double Arm DDT! Stone with a standing frog splash! He lifts Ken War up, ELIMINATION ON THE ROAD!! ELIMINATION ON AN ASPHALT ROAD! Jax Stone covers! 1, 2, Kickout!
Nikki: These guys are just brawling now! Right hands are flying everywhere! War scoop slams Jax, War steps back, he dive rolls, Senton Splash! War hooks the leg! 1, 2, kickout! Ken whips Stone into a street light.. Stone falling backwards, War with a German Suplex! He bridges, 1, 2, NO!!! War should have won the damn thing!!
Roxx: These two guys are absoultely spent.. they have nothing left.... Stone and War just fightign with what they have left..... Ken War and Stone now climbing up on a park bench.... They are exchanging rights and lefts.. Stone with a huge right! Stone signals the Elimination!!! Stone has him set.. He can't pull it off! His body can't do it!! Stone is almost unconsious! War now with Stone.. THE DROP!!! THE DROP OFF TEH BENCH ON A TRASH CAN! HE COVERS! 1, 2, 3!!! YES!! KEN WAR HAS DONE IT!!! WAR IS TEH #1 CONTENDER FOR TEH EXTREME TITLE!!
BSW: Lucky for Stone....War has retired!! So Stone is the number one contender anyway!!! What a great way for War to end his career!!
Roxx- Yeah yeah, enough with this mushy bullsh*t. Let's get to some violence.
BSW- Is a US title match enough blood for you?
Roxx- No, but it's probably up next anyway.
BSW- How right you are!
Roxx:: Ian Kain and Shawn Carter.. Carter being the champ has the edge I think..
BSW:: To me, I think Ian Kain will become the champion.. He deserves it. He was screwed out of it..
Nikki:: Shawn Carter, is the champion.. And he will remain the champion..
Ring Announcer:: This match is for the IWO United States Championship....
["Blind" by KoRn plays as Ian Kain comes down to the ring..]
Ring Announcer:: First coming down to the ring.. The challenger for this match.. "The Massochist" Ian Kain!!
[Crowd cheers as "PE 2000" by Puff Daddy f/ Hurricane G comes over the audio as Shawn Carter comes to the ring with the United States Title around his waist..]
Ring Announcer:: Coming down to the ring.. The challenger.. "HALF MAN, HALF AMAZING" SHAWN CARTER!!!
[DING DING DING]
Roxx:: Shawn Carter and Ian Kain! IWO United States Heavyweight Title Match.. Ian gets Shawn Carter in the middle of the ring.. Collar and elbow tie up.. Kain throws Shawn Carter to the ropes.. Carter comes back and clothelines Ian Kain!
BSW:: Ian Kaid grabs Shawn Carter by the hair and throws him down to the mat.. Shawn Carter gets right up.. Kain now scoop slams Shawn Carter.. Then follows up with a nice leg drop..
Nikki:: Kain grabs Carter by the throat and starts to choke him.. Carter is loosing air.. Finally the ref tells Ian Kain to release the hold after Shawn Carter got to the ropes..Kain really wants to win this match..
Roxx:: Yes I can tell. Kain runs the ropes and dropkicks Carter out of the ring.. And the ref starts to distribute the 10 count... 1....2...3....4...5...and Shawn Carter comes in the ring again..
BSW:: But, Kain meets him there with an inside larriot! NOW KAIN GOES DOWN AND STARTS TO HAMMER AWAY ON SHAWN CARTER.. KAIN IS DOMINATING!! But remember how Carter is indeed amazing and he can get up from everything!
Nikki:: Now Carter starting to get up.. And Kain stomps him back down.. Carter gets up and trips Ian Kain.. Carter gets up and a PUMP HANDLE SLAM!! IAN KAIN IS DOWN! SHAWN CARTER IS NOW IN THIS MATCH...
Roxx:: Shawn Carter grabs Ian Kain and DDT's him to the mat.. Carter now is in control of the match...The latteral press.. 1.....2...and Kain escapes barely..
BSW:: Yes barely is the key word here.. Kain now gets up and clotheslines Carter down to the ground.. Kain now drops an elbow.. Another one.. Now Ian Kain climbs the top rope and.. A 450 SPLASH ONTO CARTER!! MAN THIS IS GETTING GOOD..
Nikki:: Indeed.. I hope Carter wins.. He is sooo hot! Look at that body!
BSW:: Now Carter... Is UP! AMAZING!!
Roxx:: He is Half Amazing Half Man! Carter now gets Kain and drops him on his back! Now Carter runs the ropes and follows up with a big splash. 1.....2....and NO KAIN KICKS OUT AGAIN!!
Nikki:: Carter runs up to Kain and pokes him in the eye.. Boot... PILEDRIVER!! OUCH!!!! RIGHT ON THE NECK!! KAIN WON'T BE GETTING UP FROM THAT ONE!! I ASSURE YOU OF THAT!!
BSW:: Now Shawn Carter, in hopes of keeping the IWO United States Title, gets Ian Kain up.. AND DELIEVERS ANOTHER PILEDRIVER!! I DON'T GET IT!! HE IS TRYING TO END THIS MANS CAREER...
Roxx:: Carter gets Kain up again.. PUMP KICK!! NOW HE PINS HIM!! 1.....2....THREEEEEEE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IAN KAIN GOT THE SHOULDER UP! HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE DO THAT!!! THIS MAN IS AMAZING...
Nikki:: Even more amazing then Shawn Carter at the time..
BSW:: I don't know about that.. Carter is hitting excellent moves on Ian Kain.. "The Massochist" is a crazy person.. He is in line for this shot.. And possibly he will be champion after this occasion!
Roxx:: Now Carter sends Kain to the corner.. Ian reverses it.. And Carter rams straight into the ref.. Their heads collided! THE REF IS OUT COLD!!! Ian Kain slides out of the ring.. He is half dazed...
Nikki:: Carter is up.. Against the ropes... Kain swings.. Carter moves.. THE CHAIR HIT THE ROPES AND IT FLUNG BACK AND HIT HIM SQUARE IN THE HEAD!! KAIN IS OUT COLD!! CARTER SEE'S HIS CHANCE!!
BSW:: The cover!! THE REF IS GETTING UP!!! 1.........2..................SHOULDER UP!!!! CARTER MUST BE REALLY MAD RIGHT NOW!! THIS IS BULL CRAP!! CARTER IS GETTING SCREWED OVER!!!
Roxx:: Carter pushes the ref.. HE GETS KAIN UP.. THE BLACKOUT(Inverted Powerbomb)!! The ref gets up and Carter makes the pin! THE REF WON'T COUNT!! HOW FAIR IS THIS?!
Nikki:: Carter gets The ref BLACKOUT!! He is hammering away on The ref.. Wait Kain gets up.. He grabs Carter.. INFERNO(Twisting Piledriver)!!! THERE'S NO REFEREE!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!! THIS IS A SCREW JOB!!
BSW:: KAIN NOW WITH THE PIN! THE REF IS UP! 1.........2....NO NO DON'T TELL ME!! 3!!! IAN "MASSOCHIST" KAIN IS THE IWO UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!
["Blind" by KoRn plays as Kain jumps up and down in the ring with the US Title..]
Roxx- A new US Champ?! GREAT?! WHO GIVES THE F*CK?! IAN KAIN IS NOW THE MID CARD CHAMPION!
BSW- You couldn't be any ruder if you tried.
Roxx- Well I never cared about this match anyway.
Nikki- Yeah right! We saw you yelling and screaming at the ref the whole time.
Roxx- I was pretending to be interested so the time would go by faster.
BSW- We've got the World Tag Team Title Match coming up now!!
Roxx: I have been waiting for this match all night. The Tag team competition is heating up in the IWO, with many tag teams.
BSW: Whatta' bout Violent Attitude, they strechered out The Bruisers, and the Outcasts on Hostile Meltdown.
Nikki: That's right Scotty, they are no tag team to be messed with, but with Ken War's retiring, what can that spell for Shack?
Roxx: Would he go alone?
Bsw: Oh I don't think...would he?!
Roxx: I don't know...we may find out tonight!
[Ding ding ding!]
Announcer: This next match is set for ONE FALLL....and it is for the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORRRRRRLLLLLDDD!
[Fans go wild!]
Announcer: Introducing first....the challengers, with a combined weight of 564 pounds! Samuel Potright.....PAULLLLL HANSON....THEEEEEE OUTCASSSSTSSS!!!!
["The Beautiful People" by Marylin Manson begins to play as the Outcasts make there way to the ring]
Announcer: Annnnnd there oppponents. Hailing from Beverley Hills! MIKE, AND BRIAN DUDLEY....THE BEVERLEY HILLS BRUISERSSSSS!!!!!
["Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by Offspring blasts through out the arena as the Bruisers walk to the ring with the gold around there waists but the Outcasts meet in the isle...]
BSW: And this thing has started in the isle! Shrimp going after Mike Dudley! Brian Dudley matching with Paul Hanson! Hard rights and lefts from all four! Paul Hanson whips Brian Dudley into the steel railing! Mike Dudley with a big boot to the face of Shrimp! Goes over to Hanson, LOW BLOW! DDT! From Brian Dudley! Now Mike grabs Shrimp, and slams his head into the steel steps! Now throws Shrimp into the ring. Brian Dudley dragging Hanson to the top of the isle, now nailing him with hard right hands! Can you hear those shots?! A big boot to the gut of Pauly, swinging neck breaker on the steel!
Roxx: Ouch! In the ring Mike Dudley has shrimp, picks him up, POWERBOMB! On the neck! Mike Dudley now stomping away! Brian Dudley runs into the ring, and is kicking along with Mike. Shrimp is out! They pick him up, whip him into the ropes, double elbow! Now Brian gets him up boot, Shrimp caught it! And throws him out of the ring! Shrimp swings wildly behind him, and misses Mike, Mike catches him, BELLY TO BELLY! What impact!
Nikki: Paul Hanson finally getting up, and looks pissed! He goes to the crowd and grabs a crutch! Oh no! He's walking to the ring, and Brian Dudley is on the outside on his knees favoring that head from falling out of the ring. Paul Hanson holds the crutch up, [CRACK!] To the back of the head! Brian Dudley falls face first to the ground! Repeated shots to the back of the head of Brian Dudley with that crutch!
BSW: Mike Dudley in the ring with Shrimp, has his back turned to all this. Paul slides into the ring, winds up, [SMACK!] Right to the back of Mike Dudley! Mike falls into a Shrimp FLOATOVER SUPLEX! 1....2....NO! Kicked out!
BSW: Now Shrimp gets him up, quick tag to Paul Hanson, Hanson charges with a huge clothesline! Knocking Mike Dudley to the mat! Brian Dudley crawling up on the apron, but Sam Potright nails HIM WITH A HEELKICK AND THEY BOTH COLLIDE TO THE GROUND! Whatta' move from the shrimp!
Nikki: Now Mike Dudley managing to get up, but Paul Hanson with a hard right hand! Another! Another one knocking Mike Dudley to the mat. Hanson picks him up, and whips him into the ropes, UH OH! Hanson has that big hand wrapped around Mike's next, PICK UP....WAIT. He's going over to the ropes with Mike in the air, CHOKESLAM TO THE OUTSIDE! MY GOD! NAILING THE STEEL ISLE! Mike Dudley is out cold! Now Brian Dudley has the shrimp on the outside, RAMMMS HIS HEAD INTO THE STEEL POLE! Paul Hanson climbs out of the ring, and is now kicking at Mike Dudley.
BSW: Brian Dudley has Shrimp, SUPLEX!
Roxx: ONTO OUR TABLE! OH GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT SMACK! Luckily this thing held up, Shrimp is on the ground favering that back. Brian Dudley has a steel chair, and holds it up high above his head, [Smack!] To the back of Shrimp!
Nikki: Paul Hanson has Mike Dudley, boot, lifts him high above his head, GORRILA PRESS! HEAD FIRST GOES MIKE DUDLEY INTO THE SET OF STEEL STEPS! My god!
BSW: Now Paul slides into the ring! Brian Dudley right in front of us, about to attempt another chair shot, Paul Hanson baseball slide, NAILS Brian DUDLEY! Watch out Roxx!
[No talking for a minute]
BSW: Sorry folks, Brian Dudley flipped over our announcing table! And now Hanson throws Shrimp into the ring, and goes after Brian Dudley! Paul Hanson pummling Brian Dudley to the ground!
Roxx: Yeah, and in the ring Mike Dudley crawling into the ring, and meeting a few stomps to the head from Shrimp. Shrimp gets him up, and sends him into the ropes, COMES OFF WITH A HUGE FLYING CLOTHESLINE BY MIKE DUDLEY! COVER! LOOK PAUL! 1...2..NO!
Nikki: Paul now in the ring, and both double teaming on Mike Dudley. Hard right hands from both men of the Outcasts, ref has really no control in this match. Paul Hanson sends him to the ropes, POWERSLAM! Followed up by a effective leg drop to the throat of Mike Dudley.
BSW: Paul Hanson grabs Mike Dudley by the neck, LIFT UP....CHOKESLAM! Damnit! Mike Dudley is out! Shrimp going to the top, LEG DROP! MY GOD! Mike is out! Cover! Wait, Brian Dudley in the ring, CLOTHESLINE ON HANSON! NAILS SHRIMP OFF OF MIKE, GRABS EM, GUTRENCH TOMBSTONE! Cover! 1....2...hard kick to the back of Brian Dudley from Hanson. Hanson picks him up, SHOULDER BREAKER!
Roxx: The Bruisers are being manhandled.
Nikki: Yes they are. I've never seen em like this.
BSW: Paul Hanson directing traffic, in there.
Roxx: Hanson has Brian dudley, POWERBOMB ON THE NECK! Mike Dudley gets nailed by Shrimp! Shrimp going to the top, 450 SPLASH!!! NOOOO!!!!!! HE MISSED!!! MIKE MAKES THE COVER!!! 1.........2.......3!!!!!!
Nikki: OH MY GOD! THE BRUISERS HAVE WON!!!
BSW: WHAT THE HELL?!
Announcer: THE WINNERRRSSS......AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS......BBBB HHHH BBB!!!
BSW: I cannot believe that!
Roxx: They wanted it more...
Nikki- What a GREAT match that was!!
Roxx- Yeah, but this next one is even better.
BSW- The first ever Anti-Gravity match!! This one was invented by IML2 prez Neil in an effort to have some fun.....and we liked it so much here that we stole it from him and put it on our own PPV!! What great fun!!
Roxx- Win by submission only, and no gravity at all!!
Nikki- Let's get to the chamber!!
BSW - Extreme Title Match!!!
Roxx - NO GRAVITY!!!
Nikki - THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE!!!
(The cameras cut to the ring where we see the IWO ring crew putting a big
anti-gravity chamber around the ring. They are working as fast as they can
so we can get
on with this wonderful joyus happy match for the Extreme title!!!)
BSW - I guess we are supposed to stall for time while the ring is being set
up for this
match. I hope the guys know what they are doing, the last thing I want is to
have my fat
ass floating up to the top of this arena. I mean, I had beans for dinner!!!
Roxx - Yeah, we don't need flying shit everywhere!!! And besides, I'm scared
as long as my feet are on the ground I'm happy!!! Well, if I'm doing a hot
babe my feet
don' t have to be on the ground, but that's a kinky story!!!
Nikki - You are such a perv Teddy!!!
Roxx - You wear Teddies? Can I see you in a hot red one???
Roxx - Gee, thanks a lot!!!
Nikki - Thats for you wanting me to wear a red one!!! I don't even like
BSW - I'm being told that we are going to the back and we are going to hear
from GP and
JT who are manning the phones at 1-800-IWO-LIVE...
(The cameras cut to the back. We see GP and JT sitting behind a table
talking on a
GP - The cameras are back here now!!! We are here talking to the people,
people what they want!!! Play by play over the phone of the IWO PPV!!! You
can call us
here in America at 1-800-IWO-LIVE!!! It is only $29.99 a minute.. Remember,
18 do not get your parents permission before you call. Just their wallet.
JT - YEAH!!! And remember to send me porn.
GP - And if you are up in Canada give us a call at 1-CANADASUCKS... It is
a second because Canada sucks!!!
JT - YES IT DOES!!! Everyone in Canada likes anus!!!
GP - Now lets take you back out to the arena and the introduction for the
JT - ANTIGRAVITY!!!
(The scene cuts back to the arena. We see the huge ass anti-gravity box
thingie over the
ring. It has apparently been turned on because the refree is floating to the
top of the box
thingie. He looks like he needs help. He has on anti-gravity boots but they
arent on yet!!!)
BSW - This one is going to get crazy!!!
Roxx - I like crazy Scotty Pie!!! I hope we see blood out the ass in this
Nikki - You are sick Teddy. First a red teddy now red blood!!! You must
really like red
you red freak!!!
Roxx - =(
(One pair of anti-gravity boots have been placed in the box and are floating
up by the
refree. Anyone can get them and use them.)
BSW - I think it is time to bring out the guys involved in this match. Vanna
White is the VERY special guest ring announcer for this match!!!
Roxx - Boy she is hot!!! Especially when compared to three hound dogs.
(Vanna White enters the anti-gravity chamber. She floats to the top banging
her head on the roof of the box. She cries but still turns the microphone
Vanna White - I am a bitch!!! I mean... I am here to bring out the men
involved in the Axtrame... I mean.. heheh.. A typo on my card here!!!
Extreme Title match!!! So hit that music so I can bring those two lugs out
("Lightning Crashes" by Live begins to play.)
Vanna White - The Challengur.. I mean challenger!!! He stands six foot six
inches!!! he weighs close to two hundred and fifty pounds... but hey, what
do I know? I'm a bitch!!! He is the master of the TWISTER!!! I like to play
that game naked with Pat Sajak!!! He is CHROME THUNDER!!!
(Chrome Thunder makes his way out. He is dressed to kill and looks dangerous
and such. He is headed to the ring and the crowd is going crazy.)
BSW - I think he is prepaid for this!!! He looks like he is going to go
midevial on Phantoms ass!!!
Roxx - I like seeing asses being midevials on!!!
Vanna White - Who is next??? I LOST MY CARD!!! DAMN IT!!! WHERE IS MY
CARD!!! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!! I NEED MY CARD!! I AM HELPLESS!!! DAMN
IT!!! WHERE IS PAT?!?!? I CAN PUT MY LETTERS!!! MY MAKEUP IS TOO DAMN
THICK!!! DAMN IT!!! I NEED TO CHANGE CLOTHES EVERY MINUTE, WHERE IS MY NEW
DRESS?!?!? DAMN IT!!! IM SUCH A BITCH!!! A BITCH!!! HELP!!!
(Just then Chrome Thunder enters the big ass thing anti-gravity box. He
floats up and grabs Vanna White's wig and rips it off.)
Vanna White - I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! IM GONNA
RIP YOUR NUTSACK OFF YOU DAMN BASTARD!!! BUT I CANT PUSH MY BUTTONS TO TURN
MY LETTERS TO SPELL FUCK YOU!!!
(Chrome Thunder bitch slaps Vanna White. He grabs her by the face and rams
her face into the side of the anti-gravity box thingie. Her false teeth/fake
nose busts the glass!!! The anti-gravity mess starts leaking out..The fans
start floating up!!! BSW starts floating up and boy is his ass fat!!!)
BSW - WHAT IS THIS?!?! HELP ME!!! DAMN IT!!! HELP ME!!!
Roxx - Hey, did someone stick heroin in me!?!? THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!!!
DAMN IT!!! HEROIN!!!
Nikki - What are we going to do???
BSW - Die?!?!?
Nikki - NO!!!
(Vanna White floats up to the top of the arena. She is bleeding pretty badly
but her blood floats up with her. It lands in whats left of her matty hair.
She starts crying. Just then a giant ass Gorilla sticks his hand through the
top of the arena and grabs Vanna White. She is screaming as he carries her
BSW - HELP US!! MY GOD!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!!
Roxx - HEROIN!!!
(Phantom comes floating. He is trying to find Chrome Thunder. He SEES HIM!!!
The refree signals for the bell. It goes floating by and it bangs the
ceiling and it goes *DING*)
Phantom grabs Chrome Thunder by the hair, but Chrome Thunder shoves Phantom
away and Phantom goes floating down... down... down... Chrome Thunder goes
floating up. His back smacks against the top of the arena and a fan. The fan
starts crying. Chrome Thunder starts laughing as he floats back down to
Phantom. Phantom looks pissed. He grabs a hold of a fan's purse and smashes
Chrome Thunder with it. The impact didn't hurt because it is anti-gravity.
It just sends Chrome Thunder back up to the damn ceiling. They are just
going up and down and up and down.
BSW - HELP US!!!
Nikki - OH IM GOING TO VOMIT.
(The vomit goes up to the ceiling and splats against Chrome Thunder's face.
He vomits back but it floats up and smacks him in the face too. His face is
covered in Vomit. What a sick site. The cameras cut out to the street where
we see the big ape holding Vanna White. He has started to climb the tallest
building in Phoenix.. Sadly it is only 2 stories tall and the monkey falls
on top of Vanna. Vanna dies immediately and Pat Sajak has gas.)
BSW - I THINK I AM GETTING CLOSER TO THE MOON!!!
Roxx - HEROIN!!!
Chrome Thunder bounces off of Big Scott and goes floating down towards
Phantom.. Phantom floats to the right and Chrome Thunder misses him!!! HE
CANT STOP!!! HE IS HEADED FOR THE FLOOR!!! He goes bouncing into the floor,
BUT WAIT!!! He grabs the anti-gravity boots!!! He puts them on!!! OH MY!!!
He is actually WALKING on the ground!!! He goes to the ring, er, the box
around the ring, he opens it up and goes and looks under the ring. He pulls
out a ladder!!! A LADDER!!! He turns the anti-gravity boots off!!! He goes
floating up towards Phantom!!! He rams the ladder into Phantom!!! WAIT!!!
NO!!! PHANTOM HAS ANTI-LADDER SPRAY!!! He sprays it on the ladder!!! It
sends the ladder back down into Chrome Thunder's face!!! Chrome Thunder goes
floating backwards down toward the arena floor!!! We have several thousand
fans who seem to be all floating around the top of the arena!!! It is a damn
BSW - HELP US!!!
Chrome Thunder bounces back first off the floor and goes flying up towards
Phantom.. Phantom is waiting!!! WAIT!!! HIS HEAD GOES INTO PHANTOM'S
MIDSECTION!!! THIS SENDS BOTH MEN UP TOWARDS THE ROOF!!! Chrome Thunder
LOCKS ON THE TWISTER IN MID AIR!!! They start falling down towards the
floor!!! Floating slowly as Chrome Thunder locks the move on good!!! The
refree is trying to get through the thousands of people!!! He cant make it
over to see if Phantom gives up!!! Phantom is yelling out in pain!!!
(The scene cuts over to where Vanna White has died. Pat Sajak is standing
over her fallen body doing the charleston to the song "Bitch" by Meredith
Phantom and Chrome Thunder reach the floor.. They smack it and bounce back
up... Chrome Thunder still has that TWISTER locked on!!! Phantom has passed
out!!! WAIT!! FLOATING FROM THE BACK!!! IT IS JAMIE KOSOY!!! HE IS FLOATING
OUT!!! He has on a dog collar, all leather, and carrying a whip!!!
BSW - HELP US!!!
Nikki - MURDER!!!
Roxx - HEROIN!!!
Jamie floats up to Big Scott and whips him.
Jamie - Be my bitch!!!
BSW - HELP ME!!!
Roxx - HAHAHHA!!!
Jamie floats back to the dressing room.
The refree is finally getting over to where they are floating!!! He raises
Phatnom's arm!!! BUT WAIT!!! IT STAYS UP!!! BECAUSE!!! THERE IS NO
GRAVITY!!! HAHAHAHHA!!! the refree doesnt know what to do!!! Phantom is
out!!! He is out!!! The refree turns on his anti-gravity boots and floats
down and grabs a microphone. He floats back up and asks Phantom if he gives
up.. BUT HE CANT TALK BECAUSE HE IS OUT COLD!!! The refree is thinking... HE
HAS AN IDEA!!! NO HE DOESNT!!! NEITHER DO I!!! DAMN IT!!! The refree has
declared that Phantom can't go on!!!
Winner AND NEW EXTREME CHAMPION - CHROME THUNDER!!!
(Chrome Thunder refuses to let go!!! He is going to KILL Phantom!!! WAIT!!!
NO!!! SOMEONE FLIPPED A SWITCH!!! SOMEONE HIT THE GRAVITY SWITCH!!! EVERYONE
FALLS BACK DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!! OH MY GOD!!! WE HAVE BROKEN HEARTS AND
BROKEN BONES EVERYWHERE!!! Look!!! LOOK!!! AHHH!!!)
BSW - Ouch...
Nikki - Pain...
Roxx - Heroin...
(IWO ring guys come out and start taking the anti-gravity thing down. 10000
paramedics from the local Phoenix Hospital rush into the arena to check on
the injured/dead. We here at the IWO wish to send our deepest sympathy to
all of those that died during our first and sadly last anti-gravity match.)
Nikki- We're winding down here at this PPV!! As usual, we've had an excessive amount of death and decay...we're getting used to it here!!
Roxx- That's sick...and funny at the same time.
BSW- Let's get to ringside for the NA Title match.
Nikki- Both of these men deserve it, but only one can have it, who will???
Roxx- OOOOO that was pretty good!!!
BSW- There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this match
*Flashback to Heatstroke*
Roxx: Nobody has hold of a steel chair, Thorne holding Blaze in position..
Nobody swings, BLAZE MOVES!!! THAT CHAIR NAILED THORNE RIGHT IN THE SKULL!
BLAZE WITH A VANDAMINATOR!! DRIVES THE CHAIR BACK INTO DWIGHT'S FACE! Blaze
moves the chair out of the ring, covers, 1, 2, 3! It is over, and Blaze
emerges as the #1 Contender for the US Title!
Nikki- Many thought that David Thorne would win that match.
Roxx- Well, he didn't so boooo fricken hooooo!!
Announcer- Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is schedualed for 1 fall
with a 30 minute time limit and it is for the IWO North American Title!!!
Making his way down to the ring, he is the challenger, he stands at six foot
two and weighs in at 245lbs, he is DAAAAAAAAVID THOOOOOOOORNE!!!!!
(Milennium by Robbie Williams begins to play and Throne comes out to a huge
Announcer- and now making his way to the ring, he the IWO North
American champion,he is accompanied by Sonya, he is JAAAAAACK IN THE
(Crazy Train by Ozzy begins to play and Jack comes to the ring)
BSW- We are all set to go here!!!
Nikki- This is sure to be a great match!!
BSW- The match is underway and the two men lock up, Thorne nails an arm drag
takeover and an arm bar. Jack quickly gets to the ropes.
Roxx- WOW This is exciting!!!
Nikki- Oh shut up!!!
Roxx- You shut up woman!!!
BSW- They lock up again, Jack whips Thorne to the ropes and nails a knee to
the chest and a European upricut. Thorne goes down. Jack covers
Roxx- Did he actually think he would pin Thorne with that??
Nikki- Obviously he did!
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne and sends him to the ropes, he goes for a clothesline
but Thorne ducks and nails a flying forearm!!
Roxx- These guys are retarted!
Nikki- Look whos talking!!
Roxx- You are talking!!
BSW- Thorne runs off the ropes and nails a dropkick. He signals for the Zion
Kneebar!!! He has it on!!!!!! He has Jack in the Zion Kneebar!!! But he is
close to the ropes and Jack grabs the ropes!
Roxx- Close call!
BSW- Jack is up and he rakes the eyes of Thorne. He then turns around, OH MY
GOD!!!! Jack just superkicked the ref!!!
Nikki- What the hell did he do that for???
BSW- He picks up the ref and nails a piledriver!!! The ref is out!!!
Nikki- Good lord!!
Roxx- Now the fun starts!!
BSW- Jack motions to Sonya, she throws him a pair of brass knuckles!! WAIT,
Thorne is up, he intercepts the knuckles and nails Jack square in the
face!!! Jack is busted open!
BSW- Thorne picks up Jack, Dragon Suplex!!!!! There is no ref!!! WAIT,
another ref is running down to the ring!!!!
BSW- Jack kicks out!!!
Nikki- This match was almost over before it started!!!
BSW- Both men are up and Thorne goes for a clothesline but Jack ducks and
nails a stunner!!! OH MY GOD!!!! Jack just grabbed the brass knuckles and
nailed the new ref!!!!
Nikki- He is insane!!
Roxx- And you're ugly, whats your point??
BSW- Jack pulls Thorne to the outside. He whips Thorne into the guard rail!!
Roxx- OOO That hurts
Nikki- So does this......
Roxx- What was that for???
Nikki- I am sure you will piss me off later
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne, tombstone piledriver!!!! He covers, but the ref is
out!!! Wait, another ref is coming down,
BSW- Thorne got the shoulder up!!! MY GOD!!!! Jack just picked up the ref
and powerbombed him!!!
Nikki- What is his problem!!
BSW- Jack is going nuts!! He grabs Thorne and drags him to the back. They
are going into the crowd!! Jack is punching Thorne right between the eyes!!!
A fan tries to grab Jack, OH MY GOD!!!! Jack just punched a fan!!!
Nikki- This is disgusting
Roxx- So are you!!!
BSW- Security tries to restrain Jack but they are met with rights and
lefts!! WAIT, Thorne is up and he has a chair!!!
BSW- Thorne just nailed Jack in the back of the head with a chair!!! They
are finally away from the crowd and are heading towards the lockeroom!!!
Thorne grabs a window pane, OH MY GOD!!! He just smashed the window pane on
Jack's head!!! There is glass everywhere!!
Roxx- I guess you could say he just got his gl-ass kicked!!!
Nikki- You get gayer and gayer ever month!!!
BSW- Thorne grabs Jack, OH MY GOD!!! Powerbomb onto the broken glass!!!!
Jack is screaming in pain!!
Nikki- I am feeling sick
Roxx- Yeah, well you ain't looking to good either!!!
BSW- They are heading to the exit!!! They are outside!!! Thorne and Jack are
outside the America West arena!! Thorne grabs Jack, DDT on the concrete!!!
Nikki- You can say that again!!
BSW- Thorne is looking around, he spots a souvenir shop across the street!!
He grabs Jack and throws him into the street!! OH MY GOD, there is a truck
coming, Jack just moves out of the way in time!!!
Roxx- AW, he missed
Nikki- I won't
BSW- The get to shop, it says closed, OH MY GOD!! Thorne just threw Jack
threw the storefront window!!!! Jack is cut all over and bleeding like a
Roxx- Like a pig??
BSW- Shut up!
BSW- Thorne enters the store and looks around, but as he is looking, Jack
gets up and dropkicks him into a shelf of fine china. They all break on
Thorne's head!!! He is busted open!!! OH MY GOD!! Jack went into the back
and came out with a cactus!! OH MY GOD!!! He just slammed the cactus into
Thorne's ribs!!! The cactus is sticking in Thorne's chest!!'
Nikki- This is gross!!
Roxx- Speak for yourself!!
BSW- Jack goes over to the desk and spots a box of Arizona pins, he rips
open the box and drops the all over the floor, OH MY GOD!!! DDT onto the
pins!!! There are sunvenir pins sticking in Thorne's head!!! He is bleeding
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne and they head back to the arena, they cross the
street and are in the parking lot when Thorne nails three sharp elbows to
Jack's chest and nails a swining neck breaker!!! He then runs over and
breaks the glass of a car and hot wires it!!! He just hot wired a car!!!
Roxx- I can do that
Nikki- I bet you can!!
BSW- He gets in and is aiming for Jack!! OH MY GOD, Thorne is going to run
over Jack!! WAIT, from the back seat!! Its Sonya!!! She is stabbing Thorne
in the eyes with her long fingernails!!! Thorne swerves and slams on the
breaks and he goes flying threw the windshield!!! OH MY GOD!!
Roxx- Kids, let this be a lesson to you, always wear seatbelts!!
BSW- Thorne is lying, a bloody mess in the parking lot while Jack can barely
stand. An ambulance is pulling up and attempting to take Thorne away, WHAT
THE HELL!! Jack is attacking the EMT's. He powerbombs one of them and DDTs
the other!! Jack is demented!!
Roxx- Lets go Jack!!
Nikki- Come on David!!!
BSW- Jack is going into the ambulance, OH MY GOD!!!! He has a
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!!!! Jack just shocked Thorne with the difibrilaters!!!
Thorne is not moving!! Jack grabs Thorne and they head back to the arena
Nikki- This is the most brutal thing I have seen in my life!!'
Roxx- Don't you just love it!!??
BSW- The two men are heading back to the arena, both are a bloody mess!!
Jack has glass sticking out of his arm and Thorne has burn marks and cactus
prickers on his chest!!! What a match!!
Roxx- Come on Jack, put him away!!
Nikki- You can do it Thorne!!
BSW- The two are back in the arena and in the ring. The two refs are still
out cold!! Jack grabs Thorne and nails a tiger bomb!!! He is going under the
ring!!! He has a table!!! He throws the table in the ring
Roxx- OH YEAH!! This is gonna be good
Nikki- Shut up!!
BSW- He grabs Thorne and goes for a powerbomb but Thorne somehow reverses
into a facebuster!!! Jack is down, Thorne covers!!! A new ref is running
BSW- Its Sonya, Sonya grabed the ref!!! Damn her, that Jezebel!!!
Jack gets up and nails the ref with the drop!!!!! A third ref has been
knocked out by Jack!!!
Roxx- Three isn't enough!!!
Nikki- Shut up!
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne, powerbomb!!! Wait, he still has him hooked,
POWERBOMB!!! He still has him!!! POWERBOMB!!! Three powerbombs!!! Thorne is
out!! Jack picks up Thorne, he nails an inverted DDT!!! He goes under the
ring and grabs another table!!! There are two tables in the ring!! He sets
them up on top of eachother!!!
Nikki- I can't watch!!!
BSW- He has Thorne on the top rope!!!! He is going for the Drop!!!! OH MY
GOD!!!! THORNE COUNTERED THE DROP WITH A TORNADO DDT THROUGH BOTH
TABLES!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Roxx- NO NO!!!
Nikki- WHAT HAPPENED??
BSW- Thorne is on top of Jack, another ref is running down!!!
BSW- MY GOD!!! Sonya just nailed the referee with a chair!! Damnit!! Get
that whore out of here!!! Security is removing Sonya from the ring!!! The
crowd is cheering!!!
Roxx- What the hell are they doing that for??
Nikki- So that bitch wouldn't interfere anymore
Roxx- Speaking of bitches, Nikki.....
BSW- Jack and Thorne are lying, motionless in the ring!! Yet another ref has
come down to the ring!!! He is starting the 10 count!!!
BSW- Both men are getting up
BSW- Both men are back on their feet, Thorne goes for a superkicks but Jack
ducks and nails a spinning heel kick!! WHAT THE HELL???? Instead of going
for the cover Jack again attacks the ref and knocks him out!!! Jack and
Sonya have eliminated 5 refs tonight!!!
Roxx- Still not enough!!!
Nikki- You are an idiot!!!
BSW- Jack grabs a motionless Thorne, he is setting him on the top rope. JACK
NAILS THE DROP!!!! THORNE IS OUT COLD!! THORNE IS DONE!!!
Another ref is coming down to the ring!!!
BSW- No damnit no!!!
Roxx- YES YES!!!!!
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!! THE REF STOPPED THE COUNT AND FLIPPED OFF
JACK!!!!! THE REF STOPPED THE COUNT!! HE GOT SICK OF SEEING ALL HIS FELLOW
REFS GETTING BULLIED AROUND!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! JACK IS LIVID!!!
Roxx- That damn ref!!!
BSW- Jack gets up and takes a swing at the ref but the ref ducks, WAIT
THORNE IS UP!!! THORNE FROM BEHIND, ROLLS UP JACK!!!
BSW- NO NO NO, JACK KICKED OUT!!!! Jack grabs Thorne, he is going for the
drop again, WAIT, Thorne grabs the leg...... ZION KNEEBAR!!!! THORNE HAS
JACK IN THE ZION KNEEBAR!!!! JACK DROPS THORNE TO THE MAT BUT THORNE STILL
HAS IT LOCKED ON!!!!!
Roxx- NO NO!!! Come on JACK!!
Nikki- YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!! Go David!!!
BSW- THORNE HAS JACK LOCKED IN THE ZION KNEEBAR IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!
THE REF IS CHECKING, JACK TAPPED!!!!!!! JACK IS TAPPING ITS OVER!!!! DAVID
THORNE HAS WON THE IWO NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!!!!
Announcer- Your winner, and NEEEEEEWWWWWW IWO North American champion, DAVID
Nikki- Thorne did it!!!
Roxx- (weeping) NO NO NO!!!
BSW- Oh hell yes!!!!!!
Roxx- Dammit!! I didn't want to go into this match with Thorne as NA Champ!
Nikki- Bad Omen for your World title pick?
Roxx- Yeah, you could say that.
Nikki- Who do you think will win?
Roxx- I'M NOT SAYING!
BSW- Ok....let's just get to the match then! *AHEM* And here it is... Tonights main event. What some are saying could be
the biggest match in IWO history. Can Phelen Kell keep the World Title and
head into the new IWO millennium as the world champion? Or will his best
friend take it away from him??? What about Al Coholic, a hard worker.. This
is only Al's second world title shot... Can he overcome his drunkness and
realize his dream? And then there is the wild card to tonights match. Mad
Max... No one knows what Mad Max is capable of doing. I dont even think he
Roxx - The key to this match is that it is a four corners match. Someone
could get lucky.
Nikki - How can you say someone could get lucky? Three men have to be
eliminated before the match is over. I just don't see how anyone can come
out of this and you say it was luck that they won. It is going to be a
battle, an epic battle, and who knows how it will end.
Roxx - Oh come on Nikki. Don't sit there and say you don't see someone being
lucky and winning this thing. I mean if Al Coholic somehow manages to win
this thing, it is LUCK. He doesn't even deserve to be in this match. Neither
does Dane Wilt. Hell, Mad Max is a nut and needs to be locked up. Kell is
just stupid... I don't think this is a four way dance of greatness. I think
it is a fourway dance of crap that I'll be surprised people actually keep
BSW - I don't know how you can possibly say that. We've all seen what these
four can do, and together, just imagine what it is going to be like. I have
a feeling that this one is going to steal the show.
Roxx - But this match... It is a REGULAR four corners match. It has to stay
in the little ring. People can get counted out or disqualified. Do you
really think that serves the title "show stealer" on a pay per view like
we've had tonight?
BSW - Teddy... You just don't understand.
Roxx - Yes, I do...
("Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam begins to play. President Jamie makes his way out.
The crowd starts cheering. He has a microphone. He gets into the ring.)
BSW - Well, lets see what Jamie has to say!!!
Jamie - Hello fans!!! I hope you've enjoyed the show so far tonight... But
we are a LONG way from being done!!! This is going to be the greatest match
in IWO history!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
Jamie - I was sitting in the back and I was listening to the guys do the
prematch crap and I heard Teddy Roxx talking. He is full of shit anyway, but
what he was saying was making me sicker than the usual shit he says. He was
talking about how this match was going to suck because it actually had
rules. So... Teddy... Just to prove you wrong and piss you off, I have a
nice announcement. The four corners match... Three men must be eliminated...
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!!! ANYTHING GOES!!! Up yours Roxx.. And just to make
sure the match is fair... I'm bringing out the special guest refree!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
Nikki - Who is it!?!
BSW - I don't know!!!
Jamie - I give to you... the only man that can get the job done!!! THE VICE
("Outshined" by Soundgarden begins to play as Titan makes his way out. The
crowd is cheering him on. He has on a refree shirt. He is waving to the
crowd and high fiving the kids at ringside. He gets into the ring, the crowd
is going crazy for Titan.)
Jamie - Titan... You will make the call.. You will call the match like you
see it. You are the vice president, I put all my trust into you. You are
here to make this match the greatest match in IWO history... Take it away
(Jamie hands the microphone to Titan.)
Titan - Thank you Jamie... I will make sure this is FAIR!!! I will call it
down the middle, like I see it!!! No one will be cheated. And all hell WILL
break loose. But Jamie... After the fans watch this match, they'll be
saying, damn that was the greatest match of ALL-TIME!!! How will they look
back on this match?
Jamie - What do you mean oh man of great mind?
Titan - Well, oh powerful wise one, I mean that the match doesn't have a
Jamie - A proper title?
Titan - Yes, a proper title!!!
Jamie - well... What should it be?
Titan - Well, there are four men involved.
Jamie - Yeah?
Titan - The pay per view is Autumn in Hell.
Jamie - Yeah?
Titan - I GIVE TO YOU... FOUR MEN IN HELL!!!
(The tit-ron shows a logo for "FOUR MEN IN HELL"... It looks really cool.
The crowd is going crazy.)
Jamie - That is a great name!! You are so good!!
Titan - NO!!! You are good!!!
Jamie - But so are you!!!
Titan - we both are good then!!!
Jamie - YEAH!!!
Titan - Think we should bring out the guys yet?
Jamie - Yeah, lets do that!!!
("The Dolphins Cry" by Live begins to play. Just then former Co-VP John
makes his way out. He is dressed like a hippie. He has on a tie-dye t-shirt
with the peace symbol on it. He is caring a single flower in his hand. He
has on red sunglasses. He has long hair down to the center of his back. He
has on shorts and sandals. He is going to the ring!!!)
BSW - WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!?! I THOUGHT HE WAS FIRED!!!
(John gets into the ring.)
Jamie - Hey Titan, look, it is fairy boy and his little daisy tinkerbell.
Titan - Hey fag, long time no see.
(John has a "high" smile on his face. He offers the single flower to Jamie.)
John - this is my peace offering brother.
Jamie - What the???
John - I've learned a lot since the last paid television programming. You
defeated me, I was out, and yet you make my former best friend the vice
president. Sadly Jamie, I forgive you for your mistakes... And Titan, I
forgive you for your mistakes as well.
Titan - My mistake?
Jamie - My mistakes?
John - Yes... You disrupted my being, yet now I have come to a conclusion
that my life is sweeter and wonderful now that I've found him.
Titan - What???
Jamie - Him???
John - I follow him now and he tells me that your sins of the past are not
worthy of future hatred.
Titan - Let me guess, this "him" is heroin, right?
John - *sigh* Sadly Titan my mindless yet strong friend... You are sadly
mistaken... I present to you... HIM!!!
("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begins to play... The arena goes dark...)
BSW - What in the hell is this?
Roxx - The last time the lights went out your ass was put out on Hostile
BSW - Don't remind me ROXX...
Roxx - HAHAHAHA!!!
BSW - You faggot.
Roxx - Watch it bitch.
(The tit-ron starts flashing bright red... A picture of a large dragon
appears on it... The lights start flashing and then they come back on.)
Nikki - ...
BSW - ...
Roxx - HAHAHAHHHA!!!
(Standing next to John is... is... RICHARD SIMMIONS!!!)
Richard Simmions - Ok now Jamie, Titan, John here has told me all the bad
things you've done to him in the past. You really hurt his self confidence.
He gained a few pounds but luckily I talked with John and I understand his
deep feelings now. I've talked the ghost you two created away, and he is a
brand new person with such powerful light!!! I think it is time you two
realize you have pain too. You need to come to grips with yourselves and BUY
ME LATEST VIDEO!!! "Sweating to the Oldies: Volume 71"!!! It is only $19.95
at all video stores!!!
Titan - Shut the fuck up dumb ass...
(TITAN PUNCHES RICHARD SIMMIONS!!! HE GOES DOWN TO THE MAT!!!)
John - THOU HAVE SINNED!!!
(John goes after Titan!!! Titan grabs John by the throat.. CHOKESLAM!!!
Simmions and John are side by side on the mat. Jamie and Titan are laughing.)
Jamie - That was really cute.
Titan - Yeah right... Now where were we before we were so rudely interupted?
Jamie - We were about to bring out the guys for the main event!!!
Titan - Oh yeah, I almost forgot!!!
("Future Breed Machine: HY Edit" by Meshuggah begins to play. The crowd gets
Titan - Coming out first... He wants to be called Genetic Perfection. I call
him lard ass short not so perfect son of a bitch. He has a former world tag
team champion, and a former North American champion... He sucks.. I mean, he
is a great guy. He is.. umm... about six foot... and weighs about about two
thirty... Sound about right?
Jamie - I think so...
Titan - Ok.. So come on down Dane "I hope my penis doesn't do this during
(Dane Wilt comes walking out. The crowd was expecting Phelen Kell with him.
They boo Wilt!!!)
BSW - Boy, we have a couple of great ring announcers for this one.
Roxx - They are pretty damn funny except for that Cozie ass.
Nikki - This is uncalled for.
(Dane Wilt looks pissed at his introduction.)
Titan - Touch me, I'll throw your ass out of the match dickless.
(The crowd goes "ooooh"!)
Jamie - Can I do the next one?
Titan - I guess you can!!!
Jamie - Hit the music!!!
("Got the Life" by Korn begins to play. The crowd starts going crazy.)
Jamie - Now here comes one drunk bastard. He drinks all day and all night. I
don't see how he walks. I don't see how he still has a liver. Former IC Tag
Champ, two time, two time...
Titan - TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - Extreme Champeen!!! and.... Two time, two time...
Titan - TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - North American Champeen!!! He drank through Floyd, and it wasn't
rain that fell from the sky, it was him pissing. I give to you... HES GOT
THE LIFE!!! He is that dumb drunk idiot who doesn't stand a chance in hell,
(Al Coholic comes walking out. He looks ready for the match, but pissed at
BSW - They aren't making any friends are they?
Roxx - Nope... But who really cares???
Nikki - They better care when they get their asses jumped by these guys.
Especially if this crap keeps up.
Roxx - AWWW!!!
(Al Coholic is not getting in the ring. He is pissed.)
Titan - MY TURN!!! MY TURN!!!
Jamie - Can't I bring this guy out??? Cause you actually like him and you'd
make it sound good!!!
Titan - Ok!!! But this is just a favor!!!
Jamie - I'll pay you back my brotha!!!
Titan - OK!!!
("The Frayed Ends of Sanity" by Metallica begins to play. The crowd is going
BSW - Here comes the nut!!!
Roxx - Yeah, he is a NUT!!! I just hope he stays his ass away from me.
Jamie - Look at this freak. He is a two time.. two time...
Titan - TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - Extreme CHAMPEEN!!! If you look at him you'd say he is about six
foot something.. probably seven or eight inches, I don't have a ruler
handy... And he weighs about... Umm... Well I guess that depends on what he
had for breakfast this morning.. Anyway, who really cares about all that
stuff when you can go to www.fwlnet.com and look up all the wrestlers bio's
and other neat information about them!!! Here he is, being led to the ring
by BAT!!! They are MAD MAX!!!
(Mad Max makes his way out. The crowd gets deafening.)
Nikki - Listen to this!!! They love him!!!
BSW - WHY!?!
Roxx - They all are insane Scotty. You know that by now, right?
BSW - NO!!!
Roxx - YES!!!
(Mad Max doesn't care about the introduction. He and bat go to the ring. He
waves to the crowd in a stranger manner. He gets into the ring and hugs
Titan. Titan just rolls his eyes. Jamie hands Titan the microphone.)
Titan - Calm down big guy.. the match is about to start. Don't squeeze me to
Mad Max - WE LOVE YOU!!!
Titan - Yeah.. how sweet, aww, all that other corny shit.. Anyway... PLAY
THE MUSIC BITCH!!!
("Baptism of Fire" by Glenn Tipton begins to play.)
Titan - What the hell music is this?
BSW - What is this?!?!?!
Titan - I don't know what this is but I guess this would be the world
champion!!! Wait... I mean... DARE I SAY!! TWO TIME!!! TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - TWO TIME!!!
Titan - CHAMPION OF DA WORLD!!! I give to you a man that is in an elite
group. Why is it so elite, because I'm in it!!! I dont care about his height
or his weight, so lets just get this bitch started... Here is Phelen "Lucky
2 Be Champ" Kell!!!
(Harlequin comes walking out first...)
Titan - Hold up, where the hell is the champ.
(Sue-Anne comes out next!!! The crowd is going crazy!!!)
BSW - Kell's life got a lot better now that she is back!!! He is focused and
ready for this match.
Roxx - Don't be so sure about this Scotty.
BSW - Stop calling me Scotty, whore.
(Sue-Anne is followed by Phelen Kell. He has the world title belt over his
shoulder. The crowd is going crazy.)
Nikki - This is the loudest I've heard it tonight. I can't believe they are
cheering him this much after the hell he has put them through the past month.
Roxx - These idiots forgive people too easily.
(Kell stops... Sue-Anne stops... Harlequin stops... They all three look into
the ring.. FIREWORKS START GOING OFF!!! The crowd is going crazy.)
Titan - Awww!!! How fucking sweet, a nice little family reunion between Kell
and his dead ass slut wife...
(Kell storms the ring. He goes right after Titan!!! He gets right in Titan's
face and is yelling at him.)
Titan - Woah, big man... We talked earlier... You are to be on your best
behavior tonight. Remember that...
(Kell backs off.. He shakes his head.)
Titan - NOW!!! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!! I want a clean fight and may the
best... or the luckiest son of a bitch win!!!
(Titan signals for the bell. It goes DING.)
All four men are just looking at each other. Only Kell, Max, and Wilt are in
the ring. Al Coholic is still on the outside of the ring. He is waiting for
something to happen. Kell is now walking over to Wilt. They are talking
about something. Mad Max shoves Kell from behind sending him face first into
Wilt. Wilt goes back into the corner. Mad Max starts laughing. He grabs bat
and gets out of the ring.
BSW - This one is going to be hard to call. Just bare with us fans. It is
going to be interseting to say the least.
Mad Max is now chasing Al Coholic around the ring with bat. Al Coholic is
smaller than Mad Max therefore he is faster than him. Mad Max just can't
seem to catch him. Finally Max gives up. Al Coholic crawls under the ring.
Roxx - I guess he is going under there to get him a cold one.
Mad Max is looking around. He sees nothing fun so he gets back in the ring
with bat. Kell and Wilt are still in the ring. They were getting a good
laugh at the chase outside the ring. They gang up on Mad Max. Mad Max swings
at Wilt, but Kell manages to take Max out from behind. Max goes down after a
chop block to the knee. He drops bat. Wilt picks bat up. He and Kell are
looking at bat. They start talking... Dane Wilt drives bat into the back of
Nikki - They are assaulting him with his very own weapon!!!
Mad Max isn't moving... Now Wilt hands bat to Kell.. Kell looks at bat.. He
looks out to the crowd, he looks at Titan, and he looks back to bat... HE
BREAKS BAT ACROSS HIS KNEE!!! BAT IS DESTROYED!!! IT IS IN TWO PIECES!!! Mad
Max doesn't even know it yet!!! He is down!!! Kell and Wilt are laughing.
Wilt grabs one half of bat... Kell grabs the other half.. They go to beat
Max.. NO!!! WILT NAILS KELL IN THE FACE WITH ONE HALF OF BAT!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Wilt sends Kell down!!! Wilt starts stomping away on Kell!!! The crowd is
really booing him.. Titan has a huge smile on his face.
BSW - He is beating his former partner and best friend!!!
Roxx - It is for the damn world title.. It is every man for himself!!!
Nikki - Where the hell did Al Coholic go?
Wilt pulls Kell up and slings him into the corner. Wilt charges in with half
o bat and smashes it in Kell's face again. Kell falls face first to the mat.
It looks like he has been busted open by Wilt. Wilt is holding half o bat up
high and the crowd is really booing the hell out of him. WAIT!!! OH MY
GOD!!! Mad Max is up... LOOK AT THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!!! He sees broken
"bat". He looks as if he is about to cry.. Then he looks and sees Wilt
holding half o bat. He gets angry... really really angry... His face is
blood read... Wilt has no clue Mad Max is behind him... Wilt turns around!!!
TACKLE BY MAD MAX!!! HE IS PUNCHING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF WILT!!! Wilt is
defenless against the blows!!! His face is being pummeled by Mad Max's
fists. WAIT!!! FROM UNDER THE RING!!! AL COHOLIC WITH A BARBED WIRE 2x4!!!
He drives it into the back of Mad Max!!! Mad Max DOESNT STOP BEATING ON
WILT!!! It is like he doesnt feel it!!!
BSW - That was unreal. How did he not feel that???
Roxx - That was sick sounding...
Al Coholic swings the 2x4 barbed wire thingie again!!! It crashes into Mad
Max's back, he doesn't respond!!! He is destroying Dane Wilt's face.
Nikki - I've never seen anything like this...
Al Coholic swings again... NO!!! This time Mad Max feels it!!! He stands
up!!! The board is stuck in his back!!! He turns around, the board still
stuck to his back. He grabs Al Coholic by the throat and throws him down to
the mat. He reaches around behind him and pulls the board out of his back.
Blood is now pouring from his back. It is sick... HE NAILS AL COHOLIC WITH
THE BOARD!!! Right in the chest area!!! Al Coholic screams!!!
BSW - SICK!!!
Mad Max takes the barbed wire 2x4 over to Dane Wilt. He swings it down at
him... It crashes right into his face!!! He is grinding the barbed wire into
Wilt's face. Blood is now every damn where in the ring. PHELEN KELL IS
GETTING UP!!! He looks down at Dane Wilt, the bloody Dane Wilt. He looks
over at the bloody Al Coholic. He then looks up at the bloody back of Mad
Max. He then realizes he is bleeding. All four men are bleeding!!!
Roxx - It is at a stand still... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN???
Blood is all over the place in the ring. Just then Titan pulls a remote
control from his back pocket. He is asking for a microphone...
Titan - I see blood from all four of you morons... This isn't any fun to
watch.. This remote control is going to make it FUN!!!
(The crowd is confused.)
Titan - cut the tit-ron on and show the boys what I mean!!!
(The tit-ron shows just outside the arena in the desert.)
Titan - Now over in Egypt they have lots of Pyramids. I figured since we are
basically in the desert, why not build a pyramid, with lots of weapons and
unknown shit inside, and put these four guys into it??? So... with the push
of this button it all comes to life!!!
(Titan pushes the remote... The earth starts shaking as a large pyramid is
rising up from out of the ground. The crowd is going crazy... The four men
have stopped fighting and are watching the big screen. The pyramid has made
it all the way to the top.)
Titan - But be warned boys... This thing is like a damn maze inside. You can
and will probably get lost. Be warned that not only are their weapons, but
many.. MANY hidden secrets to this pyramid... Now... The match is moving to
the pyramid.. Get your asses out of the ring and follow me...
(Wilt, Kell, Max, and Al Coholic all look startled by this addition to the
match. Kell is ready to fight so he is right behind Titan. Mad Max is
next... Al Coholic, with blood everywhere, slowly follows. Dane Wilt is
still out... He hasn't moved... The barbed wire is still stuck in his face.)
BSW - Wilt needs some help. He can't go into the pyramid like that...
(Paramedics rush out with a stretcher. Titan stops and turns back to the ring.)
Titan - No no no... Let the boy get up himself. If you put him on the
stretcher i'm going to throw him out of the match... So let him get up
himself.. Just direct him to the pyramid when his ass can walk again.
(Titan starts walking again... The three men right behind him itching at the
chance to beat the living shit out of each other. Dane Wilt still hasn't moved.)
Roxx - That Titan is one cold hearted bastard isn't he?
BSW - Yes he is. Thats why everyone hates him being the vice president.
Roxx - Well your former VP came out dressed up as a homosexual and then he
admits to following Richard Simmions. Come on, thats just not right guys.
Nikki - John was a great VP... He just fell into the politics of the IWO.
BSW - In case you are wondering, we are stalling for time until they get to
the pyramid... I believe we have a camera following them though. And i'm
being told now that there are many cameras in that pyramid.
Roxx - Oh joy... fun!!!
(The camera is still following the three guys headed for the pyramid. Titan
leds them to what appears to be the door of it. He opens the door... Kell
goes in first... Followed by Mad Max... Followed by Al Coholic...)
Titan - I guess i'll just wait for Dane out here... You guys have fun!!!
(Titan slams the door!?!?)
The cameras cut on inside of the pyramid. The guys are looking around at the
inside of this massive structure. They see various stairways, doors,
caskets, and weapons.
BSW - This is just f'n freaky.
Roxx - It is like we are back in ancient times...
Nikki - Can I be Cleopatra?
BSW - NO!!! I WANT TO BE!!!
Roxx - CleoScotty...
BSW - FaggotRoxx...
Roxx - You got to come original.. you got come original.. all entertainers
got to come original!!!
BSW - IMMA KID ROCK UP AND DOWN YO BLOCK!!!
Roxx - Sure... You are weird...
Nikki - START AN ESCORT SERVICE FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS!!!
BSW - COWBOY BABY!!!
(Dane Wilt is now starting to come to in the ring. He is looking around, he
has no idea where everyone is.. Then he looks up at the tit-ron. He sees the
huge ass pyramid outside. He sees Titan standing in front of it. He grabs
the ropes and tries to pull himself up.)
BSW - He doesn't look good guys.. He can't go on..
Roxx - But he is stupid and he will go on.
(Wilt is slowly going to the back.)
Back in the pyramid... We see that Phelen Kell has a dull sword in his hand.
He has started after Al Coholic, Al is on the run again. Kell swings and it
clangs the wall of the pyramid.
Nikki - This is dangerous... There is no telling what else is in this damn
Mad Max has walked through a door. He is in another part of the pyramid. He
sees all kinds of mirrors. Reflections of himself. One is taller than him,
smaller, wider, etc... He turns around... BUT THE DOOR IS BEING BLOCKED OUT
BY A MIRROR!!! He can't find which is the real door!!! He is going up to
mirrors trying to open them!!! He is lost!!! HAHAHHA!!! He starts smashing
Roxx - This guy is a damn nut. He is getting carried away here.
Mad Max finally finds the right door. He goes through it and ends up back
with Kell and Al Coholic... Al Coholic has apparently gotten into a tomb.
Kell is driving the dull sword into the tomb, trying to break it open. Al
Coholic is screaming inside...
BSW - I dont think I can call this match anymore.
Dane Wilt is almost to the pyramid. Titan sees him and motions for him to
hurry up. Wilt is to the door. Titan opens the door back up and shoves Wilt
in!!! He then slams the door shut.. HE PULLS OUT A GIANT ASS LOCK!!! He
locks the door!!! He pulls out the remote control again!!! He pushes another
button!!! THE PRYAMID IS GOING DOWN INTO THE GROUND!!!
Roxx - WHAT THE HELL?!?! I've never in my life seen anything like this!!!
BSW - What is he doing!?!? How do they win!?!?
The pyramid is all the way down in the ground except for the top part...
Titan opens it up!!! He has what appears to be a megaphone!!! He yells down
into the pyramid...
Titan - There is only one way out and it is up here... The first person to
get out of the pyramid is the IWO World Champion.. Now I'm going inside to
watch you four idiots try to figure out a way out of here... BYE BYE ASSES!!!
(Titan walks away laughing.)
BSW - HOW ARE THEY GOING TO GET OUT!??! THIS IS TOTALLY INSANE!!!
Nikki - It is Titan!!! Of course it is going to be INSANE!!!
All four men are not paying attention to each other, but are looking at ways
to get out of the damn big ass pyramid. Phelen Kell is headed up some steps.
Mad Max is looking around at a door under the stair case. He grabs a level
and pulls the lever down. This sends the steps down, causing Phelen Kell to
slide back down to the pyramid floor. Mad Max starts laughing at Kell...
Kell gets up and tackles Mad Max against the wall!!! The back of Mad Max's
head bangs off the wall. He goes down to the floor. Kell starts stomping
away on him.
(Other side of the bottom pyramid floor.)
Al Coholic is facing a wall. A vine is hanging down from somewhere up above.
Al looks around and starts up the vine.
BSW - This COULD be the way out. We don't know. Al Coholic could win this
Roxx - I can't see him winning!!! PLEASE NO!!! Let that vine snap!!!
Al Coholic is up about 20 foot from the floor. He is moving at a fast rate.
He keeps going. Dane Wilt has now made his way into the same room with
mirrors that Mad Max was in earlier. He breaks one of the mirrors!!! A wall
is behind that mirror!!! He breaks another mirror!!! ANOTHER WALL!!! Dane
Wilt is trapped!!!
Nikki - He shouldn't panic. He will eventually find the door in all those
Dane Wilt is now busting all the mirrors and... WAIT!!! He finds another
door!!! Not the one he came in!!! He looks shocked. He opens the door and
walks through. He enters a room that has only one item in it. A mummy-like
casket standing up against a wall. Dane Wilt looks around. He feels creepy
about this. He walks slowly up to the casket. He is slowly opening it...
slowly.. slowly... OH MY GOD!!! A BEAUTIFUL NAKED WOMAN WALKS OUT!!! She has
NOTHING on... Dane Wilt is in a daze. The woman is pointing at Dane Wilt.
She runs her fingers around his face. He continues to stare. She starts
dancing in front of him!!! He seems to be enjoying himself.
Roxx - Screw the world title, he could get him some fuzz tonight!!!
Nikki - Who the hell is that slut anyway?
She is down on the ground making funky movements. Wilt is about to drop his
pants... WAIT!!! PHELEN KELL!!! PHELEN KELL!!! He has what appears to be the
arm of a mummy!!! He cracks Dane Wilt over the head with it!!! Wilt goes
down... The naked woman manages to move out of the way before he lands on
her. She is in shock. Kell looks down at the naked woman. He has a huge
smile on his face. The woman gets up and starts dancing for Kell. Kell grabs
the woman and pulls her close to him. Just then the cakset is destroyed and
a huge mummy like creature appears with a sledge hammer in his hand!!! Kell
looks up and sees the mummy. He shoves the naked woman out of the way and
runs out of the room. Dane Wilt is still out on the floor. The mummy like
creature grabs Wilt and picks him up. He carries him through the wall he
just busted through. The naked woman follows them.
BSW - What the hell is that!?!? And where is it taking poor Dane Wilt???
Roxx - Who cares, I just want to see the naked woman again!!! YEAH!!! TITS!!!
Phelen Kell has run back into the main room of the pyramid. Mad Max has
apparently disappeared. Kell is looking around for someone, anyone. Al
Coholic apparently has climbed all the way up the vine, but still no word on
Nikki - Where is everyone???
The camera switches to a different room. It is Al Coholic coming up from the
floor through a trap door. He gets into the room and he thinks he is close
to the top and close to winning the world title. He has two choices. Door #1
or Door #1.. He looks back and forth at both... Finally, he pulls out a coin
and tosses it up in the air. He looks at it, shrugs, and heads through Door
#2. He walks into a pitch black room. He has no clue where he is. Just then
we hear a scream...
BSW - ???
Nikki - What happened guys?
Roxx - It is dark. How the hell am I supposed to know?
Back down at the bottom floor of the pyramid we see Phelen Kell. He is
headed back up the stairs that are once again normal since he pushed the
lever again. He makes it to the top of the steps and heads through a door..
MAD MAX!!! MAD MAX!!! He nails Phelen Kell with a wooden stick!!! It sends
Kell tumbling BACK down the stairs... All the way down to the floor. Kell
isn't moving... Mad Max throws the stick away and heads into the room. He is
looking around. Many statues are standing in this room. There are no more
doors here, or so it appears. Mad Max is looking at the statues closer. Just
then one of the statues falls forward!!! Almost hitting Mad Max... It
reveals a door. Mad Max smiles and heads into the newly found room.
BSW - I'm lost. I'm confused. I need help.
Roxx - Yeah, we know you need help Scotty.
BSW - DONT CALL MY SCOTTY.
The cameras cut to another room. We see Al Coholic lying on his back. He
isn't moving. Just then we see the big ass mummy dude carrying Dane Wilt
walk into this room. The naked woman is still walking behind him. The mummy
drops Dane Wilt next to Al Coholic.
BSW - guys... Apparently Al Coholic fell into this room!!! He could be
dead!!! And who the hell is that mummy?
The naked woman is now walking into another area. She comes back with what
appears to be a box of some sort. She hands it to the mummy. He opens the
box and pulls out some BANDAGES!!! HE IS GOING TO MUMMIFY DANE WILT AND AL
Roxx - I think I need to go take a piss right about now.
The mummy starts wrapping the bandages around Dane Wilt. His naked woman
assitant has what appears to be staples/tape.
Back somewhere else in the pyramid. Mad Max has found some more stairs. He
is headed up then with no one to stop him. He has the world title almost in
his grasps. Phelen Kell is trying to get up. He looks really hurt after
falling down the stairs, TWICE!!! He is on his knees holding his neck. Kell
is looking around. He sees the big ass wooden stick Mad Max hit him with. He
shakes his head and gets up all the way. He heads up the stairs, after Mad
BSW - If you are just joining us... TURN OFF THE TV NOW!!! This has turned
into the first ever psychotic match!!!
Nikki - Yes it has...
The mummy has Dane Wilt completely in the bandages... He is now Mummy Wilt.
The naked woman is putting the finishing touches on the staples and tape on
Wilt. Now the mummy is going after Al Coholic. He is wrapping him in the
Roxx - How can they breath in that stuff? Won't they just die?
BSW - DONT SAY THAT!!! KIDS ARE WATCHING DAMN IT!!!
Roxx - Well then why do they let a fat ass gay whore like yourself do
BSW - You stupid son of a bitch, I ought to break my ass over your face.
Nikki - that didn't sound right.
BSW - Hey, it is one in the morning and I only had like 4 hours of sleep
last night and I had college today... Oh wait... No, that's not me that's
talking, it must be SOMEONE ELSE PUTTING WORDS IN MY DAMNED MOUTH.
Phelen Kell walks through the door into the room where we last saw Mad Max.
Kell goes in the room and sees some ancient egyptian writings on the wall.
Phelen Kell is trying to decipher them.
Nikki - I can't read egyptian writing, can you guys?
BSW - Not me...
Roxx - I used to could.
BSW - Yeah right you ass...
Roxx - Don't make me kick ya'lls asses now bitch.
BSW - That's funny Roxxy.
Kell heads off to the left door. He goes through the door and looks around.
It is a room with a single lever. We cut to Mad Max... He went to the right
door. He is looking around in the empty room. But the room has a shaft just
about the wall opposite the door. We cut back to Phelen Kell. He is looking
at the lever... He decides to pull it... We cut back to Mad Max... He is
looking up at the shaft and... and... A HUGE ASS ROCK BALL STARTS ROLLING
DOWN THE SHAFT AT MAX!!! Mad Max runs out of the door but the huge ass rock
is after him!!! Mad Max is yelling. Mad Max runs out of the next room and
starts going down the stares to the main floor of the pyramid. The ball is
still following him!!! The ball is rolling down the stairs, destroying them.
It is right behind Mad Max. Kell has no clue what he has done.
BSW - I guess you could call this Mad Max and The Last Crusade.
Roxx - I hope that rock stomps somebody.
The rock finally stops once it reaches the bottom of the steps. As we look
over the damage we see that the stairs are impassable. Phelen Kell heads out
of the room with the lever and to the room the rock came from. He looks up
at the shaft. He jumps up, grabs the ledge, and pulls himself up. He is now
in the tunnel the rock was in!!!
Nikki - SOMEONE WIN ALREADY DAMN IT!!!
Roxx - Yeah, like I said earlier, I gotta piss.
BSW - I think you can hold it a little while longer.
Roxx - I didn't piss all day. Come on Scotty, give me a break.
BSW - Why don't you piss into your cup there and then drink it you dumb bastard.
Roxx - I don't like the taste fatso.
Nikki - YOU TWO STOP IT NOW OR ILL GO F'N INSANER!!!
BSW - Insaner isn't a word. It would be more insane.
BSW - Boy am I TIRED!!!
Kell has found some kind of stick with fire on it (a torch). He is walking
through the tunnel cautiously. He is hearing very funny noises coming from
the end of the tunnel. He is trying to be as quiet as he can. Mad Max is
still down at the very bottom floor of the pyramid. He looks up and sees the
destroyed steps. He looks over at the vine and knows thats the only way to
the top, but we all know Al Coholic's fate when he went up the vine. Mad Max
goes over to the wall and grabs the vine, he starts up the wall headed to
the top of the pyramid.
BSW - I don't think anyone has a clue how to get out of this damn thing.
I'll be surprised if anyone wins. They just might end up all mummified and
who would be the champion then?
Roxx - Me...
BSW - Yeah right you fag.
Roxx - I'll kick your ass Scotty.
Nikki - Please, stop it you two.. I'm too tired to listen to the crap.
Phelen Kell has reached the end of the tunnel. He has arrived at the room
where the mummy is!!! He sees what has happened to Dane Wilt and Al Coholic.
Luckily, the mummy doesn't see Kell. The naked whore does though!!! She eyes
Kell!!! Kell turns to run but sees that the wall is closing in!!! There is
no escape for Kell!!! He has no choice but to face the mummy of the
pyramid!!! He runs into the room and throws the torch at the mummy. It sets
the mummy on fire!!! The mummy is yelling as his "mummy wraps" catch on
fire. He is waving his arms in the air. The naked woman is yelling, "STOP
DROP AND ROLL!!!". The mummy drops to the ground and starts rolling around
trying to put the fire out. Kell grabs the naked woman and takes off with
her!! She is screaming as Kell runs out of the room into another part of the
BSW - WHO IS THAT MUMMY AND WHY IS HE HERE?!?!
Roxx - He's yo mamma and she is here cause you a bitch ass.
BSW - That's it you damn fag boy!!!
(Big Scott takes a swing at Teddy Roxx. Roxx dodges it and tackles Scott to
the floor!!! Roxx is pounding away on Scott!!! Nikki gets up and tries to
break up the fight. Scott's lip is busted open. Nikki grabs Roxx from behind
and tries to pull him off.... HE SHOVES NIKKI BACK!!! Just then the lights
in the arena go out... The theme from Rocky begins to play. The fans are
going crazy!!! Just then out runs... out runs... JT!!! He is dressed up as
Superman!!! The lights are on!!! He rushes down to the announcers' table. He
pulls Roxx off of Scott!!! HE SHOVES ROXX DOWN!!! ROXX IS DOWN ON THE
FLOOR!!! JT MOONS ROXX!!! ROXX JUST SAW JT'S ASS!!! Roxx is sickened.. He
starts throwing up... JT helps Big Scott Weber up. They all shake hands. JT
Nikki - Thank you!!! For the first time ever I'm glad to see you JT!!!
JT - Awww.. It was nothing Nikki. By the way Scott, you owe me fifty bucks
for the super hero save.
BSW - Oh gee, thanks a lot...
Kell is still carrying the naked woman. He is running through parts of the
pyramid we have never seen before. He comes up on a big black metal door. It
is unlocked so he opens it. He walks in, still carrying the naked woman. It
appears to be a dungeon like room, but only not at the very bottom of the
pyramid. It has several tables, chains, and various other dungeon like
devices. Kell closes the door behind him. He takes the naked woman and lays
her down on one of the tables... HE LOCKS HER ARMS!! AND HER LEGS!!! SHE IS
LOCKED TO THE TABLE!!! Kell can do whatever he wants!!!
Phelen Kell - Ok... Here's the deal... You really do what I say or this
won't be pretty for you... Now, who the hell is that mummy?
Naked Woman - FUCK YOU!!! I'll never talk!!!
Phelen Kell - No... Wrong answer bitch!!! I may be nice to all my fans. But
I sure as hell won't be nice to a whore like you.
Naked Woman - FUCK YOU!!!
Phelen Kell - Ok... You made your decision.
Kell goes over and grabs an axe!!!
BSW - Oh my god he is going to chop her head off!!!
Kell walks over to the naked woman.
Phelen Kell - Now, I'm going to shove this up your ass. I'm going to keep
ramming it up as far as it will go until you decide to tell me who the mummy
is and why he is doing this.
Naked Woman - Why don't you just shove it up my...
Kell covers up the woman's mouth.
Phelen Kell - Don't say that kind of stuff!!!
The woman bites Kell in the hand!!! He gets pissed. He is about to ram the
axe handle up her... well... JUST THEN THE DOOR BUSTS OPEN!!! IT IS THE
MUMMY!!! Kell turns around and... WACK!!! He sends the Axe into the Mummy!!!
The mummy yells out and falls to the floor.
Naked Woman - YOU IDIOT!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT???
Kell looks around and heads out of the room without saying a word. The mummy
JT - The mummy deserved it!!! He shouldn't be doing this costing people the
Nikki - But he doesn't have to die!!!
Kell is running back through the pyramid, looking for an escape...
Meanwhile, back at the vine.. Mad Max has made his way up to the top of the
vine. He sees the two doors to choose from. Remember Al Coholic chose the
wrong door... Mad Max chooses the same door!!! He heads into the black
room.. And we hear a scream...
BSW - Mad Max just fell like Al Coholic did!!! Oh my god!!! Phelen Kell has
this win in the bag!!!
JT - But he can't find the way out!!!
The cameras cut to the room where we last saw Al Coholic and Dane Wilt. We
see Mad Max lying on the floor, not moving, after he fell like Al Coholic
did. Dane Wilt is moving a bit inside the mummy outfit. He is trying to
break out but he can't!!! He can't get out!!! He is now yelling.
Nikki - I hope they all like close spaces... If not they will die.
BSW - Don't say that...
Phelen Kell is still running through the pyramid. He gets back to the broken
stairs. He has no way to get down... He looks over and sees the vine, he
realizes that vine holds the key to winning the world title, but he has no
way to get there... Just then he hears noises behind him... He realizes it
is the mummy chasing after him!!! Kell doesn't know what to do!!! The mummy
comes charging out of the door at Kell.. Kell side steps the mummy. The
mummy goes flying off the top of the stairs headed to the floor below... BUT
KELL GRABS A HOLD OF THE MUMMY's WRAPPINGS!!! The mummy is unwrapping as he
heads down to the floor...The mummy hits hard *THUD*. He isn't noving
again... Kell ties the bandage to the doorknob and slides down the wrapping
to the floor. Now he can get to the vine.
BSW - He is going to win it!!! No one else can stop him!!! Mad Max is out.
Al Coholic is down. Dane Wilt can't escape his sure doom. Kell is going to
retain the world title belt!!!
JT - It is all just bull. He shouldn't be the champion. He shouldn't!!!
Nikki - It isn't over yet guys.
JT - Yes it is.. No one can stop Kell...
Kell grabs the vine and starts climbing up. He is headed up to win the
match... But will he pick the right door?
Dane Wilt is still trying to break out of the mummy outfit. WAIT!!! SOMEONE
IS COMING INTO THE ROOM!!! It is... TITAN!!! Where the hell did he come
from!?! He has some scissors and starts cutting Dane Wilt free!!! Kell is
moving fast up the vine. Titan has Dane Wilt free!!! He is going over to cut
Al Coholic out now!!!
Titan - NOW!!! DO IT NOW!!!
The cameras cut up to the top of the vine. We see the naked woman. She has
some huge ass cuters. SHE CUTS THE VINE!!! SHE CUTS THE VINE!!! Phelen Kell
goes crashing down to the floor of the pyramid. He is out!!! He hit hard!!!
The naked woman is laughing... Kell isn't moving!!! Titan has Al Coholic
free... He now has some smelling sauce and is trying to revive Mad Max...
BSW - Why is Titan doing this!!? Why does he not want Phelen Kell to win!!!
JT - Kell sucks!!!
Titan has all three men free and up!!! They have no clue what is going on...
Titan - LOOK!!! Damn it... you can't let him win. He isn't championship
material. You guys have to stop him from keeping the belt.. Now here...
Titan hands all three men a map.
Titan - This is the way out... One of you three will win the damn match, we
will leave Kell behind.
Titan walks off laughing.
BSW - I can't believe him!!!
Nikki - He must really have something against Phelen Kell.
Mad Max, Al Coholic, and Dane Wilt all just look at each other. Then they
look down at the map.. Then they look back at each other... They all three
start running!!! They are running to where the map is telling them to go.
They reach the spot, it is just a casket against the wall. Mad Max pushes
the casket out of the way to reveal a door!!! BUT AL COHOLIC NAILS DANE WILT
OVER THE HEAD WITH A ROCK!!! Wilt goes down and Mad Max and Al Coholic head
through the door.
BSW - They are going to kill each other for that title.
JT - Let them do it... I like seeing blood and gore and all that kind of
Nikki - JT, you may have saved Scott from Teddy Roxx, but you sure are still
a jerk and a sicko.
JT - THANKS!!!
(Teddy Roxx is getting up. He starts yelling at JT. He shoves JT... THEY
BSW - As long as they aren't bothering me I don't really care what happens.
Nikki - Lets just concentrate on the match and leave those two out of
this!!! They are just trying to get attention.
Al Coholic and Mad Max are running through the "maze" like pyramid looking
at the map. They come to the next door. They look at each other. They open
the door and walk through. Bats come flying out at them, they duck, the bats
do not hit them. That wouldn't be too nice.
BSW - where the hell are they going???
Nikki - Who knows... After all Titan is the one that give them the map...
Phelen Kell is slowly getting up back in the main part of the pyramid. He is
looking around. He looks over and sees the fallen Dane Wilt. He slowly walks
over to Wilt. He looks down and sees the map. He picks it up. He runs off!!!
BSW - He still has a chance!!! My god that's unbelievable!!!
Nikki - Titan has to be pissed!!!
The cameras cut to some unknown room in the pyramid. We see Titan and the
naked woman watching the match. Titan is pissed!!!
Titan - How the hell could Dane Fuck Myself Wilt let Kell get that damn
match. Damn it!!! HE CANT WIN THIS!!! Lets go!!! I have to do every damn
thing myself around here...
Titan and the naked woman exit the room and venture off into the pyramid.
BSW - Kell is in a race against Titan and his opponents. He has all the odds
Kell has made it to the door that Al Coholic and Mad Max just went
through... He opens the door... AL COHOLIC IS DOWN!!! Mad Max took him out
and continued on through the pyramid!!! Kell rushes to catch Mad Max!!!
Mad Max reaches some stairs, Kell is just two rooms behind him. Mad Max
starts up the stairs... He is running... and running... the stares are never
ending!!! FINALLY!!! Mad Max reaches a door!!! He opens the door... LIGHT!!!
HE SEES LIGHT!!! It is the finally room in the very top of the pyramid!!!
Nikki - Mad Max is going to be the world champion!!! It is going to
happen!!! He is going to realize his dream!!!
Mad Max sees the exit!!! A rope is hanging down, all he has to do is climb
that rope and win the title!!! He starts up the rope... NO!!! KELL IS
THERE!!! KELL IS THERE!!! He grabs Mad Max by the leg!!! Mad Max is trying
to fight Kell off!! He tries kicking at him!!! It isn't working!!! Kell
jerks Mad Max off!!! Kell now starts up the rope!!! Kell is going to win!!!
He is going to escape the pyramid!!! NO!!! TITAN!!! AND THE NAKED WOMAN!!!
They appear at the top of the pyramid!!!
Titan - You aren't going to f'n win this thing!!!
The woman has those same big ass cuters she used earlier!!! She cuts the
rope to the top!!! Kell just drops a few feet to the floor, landing on his
BSW - HOW CAN ANYONE WIN NOW!?!?
Nikki - They can't!!!
Titan - Now no one can win damn it... Especially your sorry ass!!!
Titan spits down onto Kell. Kell is pissed. He is looking around to find a
way out, there is no escape. Titan and the naked woman are laughing. Titan
slams the top of the pyramid shut!!!
BSW - He has lost his mind!!!
Nikki - For once I agree.
Mad Max is slowly getting up. Kell and him are not brawling!!! They are
talking!!! They are trying to find a way out!!! HERE COMES AL COHOLIC!!! He
barges into the room and tackles Mad Max. He starts punching away on him.
Kell is watching them go at it!!! He is standing back still trying to figure
a way out of the hell hole. HERE COMES DANE WILT!!! He makes his way into
the small room. He goes after Al Coholic!!! Now those three are brawling
while Kell tries to figure a way out!!!
BSW - I don't know what they are going to do. Where the hell did Titan go???
The scene cuts to Titan and the naked woman back in the same room we saw
earlier watching the match. Titan has a huge smile on his face. He looks up
and waves to the camera.
Nikki - The man is sick and doesn't need to be the vice president of
anything. Maybe the nut house.
Phelen Kell is leaving the room!!! He is headed back down the stairs!!! We
keep watching the three way brawl between Mad Max, Al Coholic, and Dane
Wilt. Dane Wilt pulls Al Coholic up... Piledriver down to the floor!!! AN
ACUTAL WRESTLING MOVE!!! AMAZING!!! Mad Max grabs Dane Wilt from behind...
He rams him into the wall!!!
BSW - This can't go on much longer. Someone has to be dead tired. If not all
Nikki - I wonder where Phelen Kell went?
BSW - I have no clue...
The camera cuts to the main part of the pyramid. Kell is helping THE MUMMY
UP!!! HE IS TALKING WITH THE MUMMY!!!
BSW - WHAT?!?!
The camera cuts to Titan's room. He sees what Kell is doing. Titan can't
Titan - WHAT THE...
Kell is now unwrapping the mummy all the way.. IT IS TITAN'S BROTHER
TITANIC!!! TITANIC WAS THE MUMMY!!! He has some kind of device in his shoes
to make him seem taller... Titanic hands the device to Kell!!! Kell can now
use the device to boost himself up to reach the top of the pyramid!!!
Titan - DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM!!! ILL KILL HIM!!!
Titan and the naked woman get up again and head out of their little room.
BSW - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!
Kell is now running back to where everyone else is. He is at the first room,
now the second, now the third, now he is going up the stairs. He reaches the
top room. All three men are still brawling... Kell puts the device on!!! He
boosts himself up!!! He reaches the top of the pyramid with those stilt like
devies on. He is trying to push the top of the pyramid up. He has it up a
little!!! WAIT!!! IT SLAMS BACK DOWN!!! The camera outside the pyramid shows
Titan is standing on the exit!!!
BSW - DAMN HIM!!! He can't keep doing this!!! Someone has to win.
Nikki - But he doesn't want it to be Kell.
Kell is trying to push up!!! He can't find the strength to do it!!! WAIT!!!
BEHIND TITAN!!! IT IS THE MYSTERIOUS ONE!!! HE HAS A SPOON!!! A BIG ASS
METAL SPOON!!! HE SMASHES IT OVER THE BACK OF TITAN's HEAD!! TITAN GOES
DOWN!!! He falls off the top!!! Kell pushes the top off!!! He looks up and
sees The Mysterious One!!! ?¿? looks down at Kell... He shakes his head and
walks away!!! HE IS WALKING AWAY AGAIN!!! THIS IS THE SECOND PAY PER VIEW HE
HAS WALKED AWAY!!!
BSW - He just came out here to set Titan straight!!! Titan is out and Kell
is going to retain the title...
Kell is almost out!!! He grabs the top of the pyramid... and... and... MAD
MAX TAKES HIS STILTS OUT FROM UNDER HIM!!! The stilts break off and Kell is
just hanging on for dear life!!! Mad Max immediately is putting the stilts
on!!! He is about to reach Kell... NO!!! AL COHOLIC!!! AL COHOLIC STOPS MAD
MAX!!! He shoves the stilts!!! It sends Mad Max into the back of Phelen
Kell. This causes Kell to let go... KELL grabs a hold of Max as they fall to
the floor below.. Kell lands on top of Max. He breaks his fall... Now Al
Coholic grabs the stilts. Dane Wilt grabs Al Coholic and slings him down the
stairs!!! ALL THE WAY DOWN THE STAIRS!!! WAIT!!! Kell shoves Dane Wilt down
the stairs!!! Two men are left to win this thing!!! Which will it be!?!
BSW - Mad Max or Phelen Kell will win it!!!
Nikki - They need to get up!!!
Kell grabs the stilts... He is putting them on... Mad Max is starting to
slowly get up. Kell is stretching the stilts out. He is almost to the top.
Mad Max is up!!! He looks up and sees Kell... He is.. WAIT!!! KELL PULLS A
POOL BALL FROM HIS POCKET!!! WHERE DID HE GET THAT!?!?! HE DROPS THE POOL
BALL DOWN!!! IT CRASHES INTO MAD MAX'S SKULL!!! Mad Max is out!!! KELL IS
OUT!!! PHELEN KELL WINS!!!
Winner and STILL IWO World Champion - "The Legend" Phelen Kell!!!
BSW - He did it!!! He did it!!! He won what had to be the most complicated
match in wrestling history!!!
Nikki - I can't believe it!!!
(Kell is out of the pyramid. An IWO official hands him the world title belt.
He holds it up. He is joined by Sue-Anne and Harlequin. They are celebrating
together. Titan is slowly getting up. The naked woman is trying to help him.
Titan sees Kell with the World Title. Titan is pissed. Titan immediately
gets up and gets in Kell's face.)
Titan - YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH... FUCK YOU.. FUCK YOUR TITLE... I'm going
to make your life a living hell... I don't give a damn about this fucked up
*points to Sue-Anne*... And I sure as hell don't give a damn about this
little faggot here... *points to Harlequin*... You are going to pay... I
don't care what it takes, you WILL NOT BE THE WORLD CHAMPION by the time the
next pay per view rolls around. You don't deserve that damn belt... I will
find someone to take it from you.. And you will defend it EVERY SINGLE
MONDAY NIGHT starting September 27th... And your little slut bitch there
will fight every single monday night... And September 27th, she starts off
against my new friend here... You can call her WildKat... So you three go
fuck each other and celebrate, but just remember Kell, your life is going to
be screwed from now on...
(Kell tackles Titan to the ground!!! He is beating the hell out of Titan!!!
Mad Max is coming up from the pyramid!!! His head is bleeding like hell!!!
He pulls Kell off of Titan and starts beating away on him!!! Mad Max and
Kell are now brawling!!! WildKat nails Sue-Anne with a vicious karate kick
to the face. Sue-Anne goes down... Harelquin is checking on her... Mad Max
pulls Phelen Kell up and slings him down to the ground. WAITAMINUTE!!! ?¿? IS BACK!!! HE HAS
A TELEVISION SET!! HE NAILS MAD MAX WITH IT!! MAX IS OUT COLD!! PHELEN KELL IS
ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES TRYING TO GET UP....?¿? NAILS HIM SQUARE IN THE BACK WITH
THAT TV!! KELL IS DOWN!! KELL IS HURT BAD!!)
BSW - ?¿? is just walking awawy AGAIN!! We have carnage everywhere!!! Nothing is settled between Mad Max and
Phelen Kell!!! And Titan has promised Kell his life will be hell every
Nikki - Where is Jamie at!??! He could stop this!!!
Mad Max is up somhow....he pulls out a rope... He wraps it around Phelen Kell's neck!!! WAIT!!!
Mad Max is motioning to someone... It is THE BLACK ASSASSIN!!! He is in a
monster truck!!! He drives over and Mad Max is tying the rope to the back of
the monster truck!!!
BSW - GOD NO!!! SOMEONE STOP THIS!!!
(The Black Assassin begins moving the truck!!! THIS COULD BREAK PHELEN
KELL'S NECK!!! OH MY GOD!!!)
Nikki - CUT THE DAMN CAMERA OFF THAT!!! KELL COULD BE DEAD!!!
(Kell is being slung around by his neck by the monster truck... WAIT!!! THE
BRAKES!!! THE BLACK ASSASSIN CANT STOP... HE IS HEADED RIGHT FOR THE DAMN
ARENA!!! HE CANT STOP!!! *BAM!!!!!!*)
BSW - OH...
Nikki - MY...
God - Yes?
(Carnage!!! CARNAGE!!! The Black Assassin went flying through the
windshield... He is out... The rope broke and sent Phelen Kell flying into
the back of the truck. He could be dead... Mad Max, Titan, and Wildkat are
all laughing!!! JUST THEN!!! The pyramid starts moving up!!! The cameras cut
inside. We see Al Coholic has hit a lever while battling with Dane Wilt!!!
The pyramid is coming back up!!! It stops... Al Coholic and Dane Wilt come
brawling out... WHATS THAT UP IN THE DAMN SKY?!?! IT IS ROUND!!! IT IS
SHINY!!! OH MY GOD!!!)
BSW - IT'S A UFO!!!
Nikki - IM SCARED!!!
(The UFO locks a beam down onto the pyramid.... The Pyramid floats up to the
bottom of the UFO. Just then two small green men "beam down". They are
standing in front of Titan, Mad Max, WildKat, Al Coholic, and Dane Wilt.)
Green Man #1 - We come in peace...
(Just then the US Government sends out three "death" planes... They storm in
and shoot the two little green men... Green guts go everywhere... They lock
a tractor beam on the UFO and carry it off to New Mexico.)
BSW - FANS!!! We are out of time!!! Phelen Kell is still the World Champion
but I think we have seen more here tonight in this one match than we have
ever seen... EVER!!!
Nikki - I'm scared!!!
BSW - Fans... We will see you Friday night for Hostile Takeover!!! And don't
forget!!! September 27th... Phelen Kell will be defending his world title on
Meltdown and Sue-Anne will face WildKat!!! Titan's plan to destroy Kell
starts then!!! We will see Friday!!!
"TED CRUZ IS THE ZODIAC KILLER"
- Kentucky Tarzan