(The Beach Party promo found on www.fwlnet.com plays...)
(The scene opens up to a dock on the east coast of Florida. A HUGE ship is
seen. The side of the ship reads, "U.S.S. Neptune." The waters seem quiet.
Greg Parker begins to speak.)
GP - This was the scene earlier today. The U.S.S. Neptune sat calmly on the
waters of the Atlantic Ocean. It awaited the party... The BIGGEST party it
has ever seen.
(The scene changes to a few hours later. Some people are gathering on the ship.)
GP - As the day went on, some of the celebrity started arriving to get their
cabins aboard the U.S.S. Neptune.
(We see Ricky Martin heading on board the ship. A few lovely ladies are by
his side and a few bodyguards. He waves to the camera. There's Michael
Jordan. We see Mike Myers of Austin Powers. His co-star Heather Graham.
There's Jennifer Love Hewitt. There's Rob Zombie.)
GP - As everyone got settled, the IWO ring crew sat up the ring. It is right
in the center of this HUGE ship. Of course under the ring there are ladders,
tables, chairs, all the fun stuff. And just to the right of the ring is a
large swimming pool. So we might even see someone take a dip before the
night is over.
(A scene is shown of the ring and all around the ring. We see chairs for
about 10 rows and then after that people have to stand up to watch. Luckily
there are big screens on the ship just about everywhere you look.)
GP - Front row tickets to Beach Party went for two hundred bucks... General
admission tickets, meaning you have to stand... They went for thirty
bucks... And the ship has been filled to its capacity. Of course all the
celebrities got in free. And just because they get V.I.P. treatment doesn't
mean anything at all now does it???
(The scene shows the ship pushing off to the ocean. The fans aboard are
going crazy. Fireworks are being shot off into the air.)
GP - The ship left Florida just an hour ago. And with that... RICKY MARTIN
performed for the fans.
(The scene shows Ricky Martin performing inside the ring.)
GP - But things turned crazy just as Ricky was closing his concert... Here's
what went down just fifteen minutes ago...
(The scene shows Ricky Martin waving to the crowd. The crowd is going crazy.
Just then Zombie hits the ring!!! He shoves Ricky Martin down to the mat!!!
He grabs a microphone stand and drives it into Ricky. His bodyguards jump in
the ring. Zombie takes them out with the microphone stand. They go to the
mat. IWO security guards come rushing out. Zombie can't fight off 10
security guards. Zombie is being pulled back. He is yelling out, "Everyone
is gonna f'n pay!!". As Zombie is being pulled away, we see a familiar face,
it is JOEY RAPPOPORT!!! He is laughing at Zombie!!! Zombie sees him and
tries to lunge foward but the security guards continue to pull. Rappoport
starts waving bye to Zombie.)
GP - Joey Rappoport is here... We know that Dennis Scott of the Upper Class
is here. Will the Upper Class make a big impact??? As for what Zombie did to
Ricky Martin, Martin seems to be doing fine... But remember, that was only
fifteen minutes ago. And remember... Trouble is brewing in the Atlantic as
Titan, aboard the USS Titan II is headed towards the U.S.S. Neptune. Word
has it that radar shows him only about an hour away. And wherever Titan
goes, that means trouble. Will tonight be Phelen Kell's turn to shine!?!
What will happen!?! Find out... NOW!!!
(The scene opens up aboard the USS Neptune. The fans are going crazy.
Fireworks are being shot off into the air. We see the set-up of the ring
area. The pool is just to the ring of the ring. The announcers' table is
just to the left of the ring and the cameras zoom in on that. We see Greg
Parker, JT, and Nikki sitting down.)
GP - WELCOME TO BEACH PARTY!!!
(More fireworks go off.)
GP - Welcome to the U.S.S. Neptune out here in the middle of the Atlantic
and thank goodness we are under clear skies!!!
JT - Wouldn't it be funny if it did start raining!?!
Nikki - It would ruin the show!!!
GP - No, I think the IWO is prepared for that. Any case, this is going to be
the biggest Pay Per View of the year. And remember it is quality, not
JT - And tonight, finally, Phelen Kell gets his chance at Singles Gold after
putting up a hell of a fight at May Mayhem. The tag team wonder gets Zombie
and a chance at the World Title tonight!!!
GP - Something strange happened earlier today. I was down in my room, of
course that would be below us, I passed Phelen Kell in the hallway. We
usually have some nice conversations. I said hi and he just brushed me off
like I wasn't even there. He didn't even acknowledge me.
JT - His mind is probably on the title match tonight. Plus he also has a
WORLD title match Greg. Wouldn't that have you worried too???
GP - I guess so, but something is up with Phelen Kell. It is like he has a
new attitude or something.
Nikki - It seems when people get power around here they go insane. Just look
at Joey Rappoport, Zombie, and Titan. They have to be classic cases.
JT - So you are saying that Phelen Kell will turn into one of those guys if
he wins!?! Nobody can be crazier than those three.
GP - Mad Max...
JT - What about Mad Max!?!
GP - He is crazy.
JT - Good point...
Nikki - GUYS!!! Lets get down to business. We have thirteen huge matches!!!
GP - Before we get to those matches we have a few things to look over. What
about that just added 7 man match for the IWO TV Title. People have been
talking about that one all week long. The Cult just isn't too happy about
JT - Why should they be? They are being forced into this match. But CoVP
John is a great guy so it must be a good thing!
Nikki - We know for a fact that President Jamie isn't here tonight. This
could be HUGE news for everyone involved. He usually runs a smooth show,
there is no telling what John will do.
GP - John has already brought celebrities here. And you saw what happened
with Ricky Martin. I smell a lawsuit and it will be all John's fault.
JT - Speaking of celebrities I was talking to Jennifer Love Hewitt, Heather
Graham, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Britney Spears earlier and they all said
that we would get together later and have a small party, just the five of us.
GP - And you were smoking what at the time!?!
Nikki - I can't believe that they would even give you the time of day.
JT - I had Johnny Bear put in a good word for me!!!
GP - Well make sure you tape this little party. I'm sure the tape would sell.
JT - OH HOT DAMN!!! You are probably right!!!
GP - JT, get out of dreamworld and head back to reality... This is Beach
Party... Not Sex Party!!!
Nikki - hehehehe!!!
JT - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... whatever.
IWO World Tag Team Titles
Hostile Youth -c- vs. Dane Wilt and a Mystery Partner
GP - This match has been building for about a month now. We all have been
wondering just who in the world is Dane Wilt's mystery partner.
JT - And I'm wondering why the hell none of these celebrities are even
Nikki - It's not that hard to figure out JT.
GP - Speaking of celebrities, our guest ring announcers for this next match
are none other than Mike Myers and Heather Graham.
JT - Yeah Baby!!!
GP - Yeah, whatever.
JT - I hope Fat Bastard is here.
Nikki - Greg, if we ignore him he won't say stupid things. Or atleast if he
does, WE WONT HEAR HIM!!!
GP - You know Nikki, you are right, but if we do avoid him he will just get
worse and worse. That's the last thing we need.
Nikki - Ugh!!!
JT - Face it baby, you are stuck with me... GROOVY BABY!!!
Nikki - Stop!!!
GP - The World Tag Title Match is NOW!!! We are going to watch the WORLD TAG
TITLE MATCH!!! So, if you two don't mind we will go to the ring for the
announcement of our ring announcers.
JT - We have to have an announcer to announce the announcers?!?
Nikki - You are GAY!!! Just GAY!!!
JT - NO!!!
GP - Please stop NOW!!!
(The ring announcer is in the ring with his microphone. The micrphone of
LOVE. That microphone brings sparkle to my eyes. I'd like to take this time
to sing to that microphone. Oh microphone!!! I love you so... what's that!?!
Ok... You're right. I'll stop now.)
Ring Announcer - I'd like to bring out the special guest announcers for our
next match... Here is from Austin Powers... Mike Myers and Heather Graham!!!
(They come walking out. The crowd is going crazy. They are waving to the
crowd. They don't look exactly happy to be there. They get into the ring.
They are handed two cards. Myers takes the microphone.)
Mike Myers - Hey everyone!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
Mike Myers - I guess we are here to announce for the IWO World Title Match.
I mean tag team. Something like that. Anyway... This contest is for one fall
and is for the IWO World Tag Team Titles. Introducing first the
challengers... He stands five foot eleven inches... He weighs in at two
hundred and thirty five pounds... He calls himself "Genetic Perfection"...
Just like me BABY!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
Mike Myers - Here is DANE WILT!!! and his partner... A mystery man!!!
("Glory" by KMFDM begins to play. Dane Wilt comes walking out. He is alone!?!)
GP - Wilt doesn't have a partner!?! This is weird. I guess he is going to
wait for Hostile Youth.
(Dane Wilt is in the ring. Mike Myers hands the microphone to Heather
Graham. She waves to the crowd.)
Heather Graham - HELLO PEOPLE!!! I get to bring out the TAG TEAM
(The crowd cheers.)
("Fucking Hostile" by Pantera begins to play.)
Heather Graham - Lets get crazy!!! Being lead to the ring by Harlequin...
They have DOMINATED the IWO tag team ranks since they came to the IWO. They
have been UNSTOPPABLE!!! Standing six foot five inches... weighing in at two
hundred and eighty five pounds... Here is ASHTON CAIN!!! And the MAIN EVENT
STAR LATER TONIGHT!!! He stands six foot two, weighs two hundred and fifty
five pounds... 'Phoenix'Phelen Kell!!! HOSTILE YOUTH!!!
(Hostile Youth makes their way out. The crowd goes crazy. Mike Myers and
Heather Graham exit the ring.)
(Hostile Youth is in the ring. Dane's partner isn't out. Ashton has a
Ashton:So DANE where is this tag team partner at?
Dane:A fair question Ashton...but...I believe the question is where is your
Ashton:What are you talking about?
::Phelen Kell taps Ashton Cain on his shoulder and as he begins to turn nails
Ashton from behind. Dane Wilt and Phelen Kell begin to beat down Ashton.::
Dane:Ladies and gentlemen I know you all want to see my ability and uncanny
skill so here is the first...my world famous Hurrica Ranna!
::Nails Ashton Cain with a Hurrica Ranna.::
Dane:My amazing top rope moves...like the way a shooting star press should
look! Fat ASS!
::Wilt executes a shooting star press onto Ashton Cain.::
Dane:And as soon as he can move again I'll show you my trademark...my
legacy..the Face Lift...and Ashton buddy...you need one...you always have
looked alittle...well how do you say...unappealing!
::Ashton gets up and Dane nails him with the face lift (super kick) and
knocks him down and out rather quick.::
Dane:Now Phelen...Phelen my buddy...soon we will be tag champs, as we deserve
to be lets introduce the world...all OUR fans to the New and Improved Circle
::Phelen picks Ashton up in a power bomb, Dane climbs to the top and jumps
over Ashton catching him and droping with the power bomb into a sun set
flip...the cover. For the one, two, three and now Dane Wilt and Phelen Kell
are the tag team champions. Phelen stands up and walks over to an announcer
who throws a microphone in the ring. Phelen grabs the microphone and lifts it
to his face. Fans are in shock....::
Phelen: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury.....I feel that now is as good a
time as any to explain myself...and my actions...to you....and to my dear
Captain Caveman...who at the moment....has been rendered unconcious. You see
ladies and gentlemen....as of late...Ashton Cain...has become dead weight.
Now don't get me wrong...he is a great athlete...but to steal the words
straight from his mouth....he's a busy guy...and it seems he has no time for
the tag team titles, or he just hasn't been making time for the tag team
titles. So...I'll be nice and LIFT that burden from poor, poor Ashton
Cain....and give that honor to someone who will work for what he gets...who
won't quit working because he thinks he can let good ol' Phelen handle
things....a guy that won't run around trying to sport his own career when its
a team effort. Ashton...I gave up the the Television title so that we could
keep these titles, and still I got shafted with the work load and because of
it we lost them...luckily I...ME! I kept us on course and we got the titles
back...and ya know why....cuz it was for the good of the team. And
then....still...I'm left with the shaft of the work. I won't do the same for
the world title...that one is mine...and now I have someone who will split
the work of the tag team titles with me. I've got a partner who's gonna help
keep Hostile Youth as the top name of the tag team world! Don't get me
wrong...I still love you fans.....you made us. But now....its time for a
change of pace...its time for Hostile Youth to truly become Hostile! The NEW
Hostile Youth! A Second Coming if you will. "Genetic Perfection" Dane
Wilt...."Phoenix" Phelen Kell....and the ever delerious Harlequin...things
are gonna be different. To hell with being nice guys....for those fans who
stay behind us...we love you...for those of you that don't...thats your
poison. Its time for true hostility! So those who doubted the originals...you
now have something to fear. Hostile Youth: Second Coming...has arrived. And
Zombie...I'm coming for you....the night is still young and I'm fresh as a
daisy...your title is mine.
::Phelen throws the microphone to the ground and picks up he and Danes
titles. The song "Future Breed Machine: Hostile Youth Edit" by Meshuggah
which is the new anthem of Hostile Youth: Second Coming begins to play as the
two men walk to the back with smiles upon their faces.::
FRANK "THE FALCON" PEREGRINE VS. "DEVASTING" DENNIS SCOTT
GP:Next up on the IWO FWL reunion is a newcomers matchup. We've got Upper
Class member 'Devasting' Dennis Scott going up against Frank 'The Falcon'
JT:We'll see if these Upper Class IWO newbies are truely the upper class of
Nikki:You never know JT, they could give up a good showing here at Beach
JT:We'll see, we'll see. There's only one thing I've got to say negative
about this matchup so far.
Nikki:It hasn't even started, and he already has a negative?
GP:It's JT, what do you expect.
JT:I mean, there's two things missing from this matchup.
JT:Ding ding ding!
JT:What was that for?
Nikki:Might as well get warmed up?
GP:Let's get to the ring.
Double Debut Match
"Devasting" Dennis Scott vs. Frank "The Falcon" Peregrine
Ring announcer:This next matchup is a Double Debut matchup. Introducing
first, a member of the Upper Class, standing six foot four, and weighing in
at 232 pounds, Dennis SCOTT!
("Hate Me Now" by Nas starts up as Dennis Scott comes out from the bridge.
He's got his normal wrestling attire on, and looks to be in great shape. He
gets in the ring, and waits in his corner.)
RA:And his opponent, also making his debut here in the Double Debut matchup,
standing at six foot two, and weighing in at 240 pounds, accopanied by the
Killer Bear, Frank, The Falcon, Peregrine!
("Holy Diver" by Dio starts up as out from the back walks the Falcon with
his manager, the Killer Bear, holding a taped up umbrella. He gets into the
ring as Dennis Scott hits him with a few axhandles.)
Ding, Ding, Ding
GP:Scott not waiting for the bell as he gets the upper hand quickly off the
bat with a few axhandles. The Falcon is realing as Scott picks him up. Whip
off the ropes, back off, Scott with a huge chop to his chest. Falcon up
fast, but Scott with clothesline sending him down to the mat. Scott picks up
Falcon, and tosses him off the ropes. Falcon grabs onto the top rope and
slides out of the ring.
JT:Good strategy, slow down the pace so Scott has to work his pace.
Nikki:It seemed to me that Scott was simply the aggresor.
JT:(mocking)It seemed to me that Scott...
GP:I saw that coming, but I didn't see that! Baseball slide by Scott sends
Falcon flying into our announcer's booth.
JT:Falcon, flying? Nah.
Nikki:There's right in front of us. Scott is out, smashes Falcon's skull
into out announcer's table. I think they're disorientated, we aren't the
JT:Good observation. Hey, if you spin a chinese person around, do they
GP:What's that have to do with anything?
JT:I just got this e-mail and it was really good. I wanted to show some
stuff off for the pay per view!
Nikki:Ohh, ooookay. Scott throws Falcon into the steel ringpost! Oh, he's
near the sides of the cruise ship. Scott, yeah, he's going for it. Don't
JT:Poke to the eyes. I'm starting to like this Falcon kid. Falcon takes
Scott, and tosses him back into the ring. Falcon is looking around the
outside for nothing.
Nikki:Nothing? Don't you mean something?
JT:Yeah, I'm the one that's disorientated! Falcon is digging under the ring,
and he's found a steel chair. All of that other stuff under the ring and he
takes a chair?
Gp:Well, Scott wasn't going to wait for him to get back in, baseball slide,
no, Falcon moved out of the way. Scott's legs are exposed, BAM! Steel chair
and the patella doesn't fit together. Dennis Scott has to be in pain.
JT:And you wouldn't be. I mean, metal and bone doesn't fit well together.
Nikki:That's what he said.
JT:Are you sure?
JT:Oh, well, Falcon hits Scott's knees with another elbow. Scott's legs are
still exposed, BAM! Falcon with a huge kick to the back of his knees.
GP:Dennis Scott could very well be crippled!
JT:Dennis Scott can't be the Crippler when he's lying on the outside like
that. Tony Davis has that role anyway.
GP:No, I said CRIPPLED!
JT:Oh, my bad.
GP:It's going to be a long night Nikki.
Nikki:You said it. Falcon drops a leg across Scott's leg, and then unfolds
that chair. What's he got now. What idea does he have now. He picks up
Scott, kick in the gut. That's either a piledriver or a powerbomb onto the
chair, no, Scott reversed it! Backbody drop down on the exposed steel!
GP:And the exposed back of Falcon! Scott is down on the outside, but he
drapes the arm onto Falcon.
JT:The referee finally can do his job, 1-2-no, Falcon with a kickout.
GP:And you know what, there is finally a manager who does his job, and stays
on the outside of the action.
JT:How long will that be? Scott grabs Falcon, and slams his face back down
onto the steel chair. Falcon clutches his nose, as Scott grabs Falcon's
foot, and turns his leg into an inverted leg bar. Falcon is screaming in
pain, but he's not going to give it up.
GP:Falcon is screaming, and look, it's Killer Bear, and he's got a...
umbrella? How did he get an umbrella?
JT:And why an umbrella when there's chairs all over the place?
Nikki:Killer Bear nails Scott with that taped umbrella, as Scott releases
the hold. Well, forget about Killer Bear doing his job.
JT:I knew he couldn't stand idlely by.
GP:Well, Scott is clutching his check bones, as Killer Bear rips off the
tape on that umbrella. LOOK AT IT JT! There was a steal rod up that
umbrella! Now is that fair?
JT:It's going to get the job done though. Falcon with a lateral press,
1-2-NO! Scott gets his left shoulder up before the three.
Nikki:We almost had a winner!
JT:Great observation there sherlock holmes.
JT:What was that for! I didn't even say I wanted your pup...
GP:You never learn, do you?
JT:But it's worth it!
(Nikki goes for a smack but JT ducks it)
JT:HaHaHaHaHa! You missed!
GP:I wouldn't do that if I were you.
*Smack* *Smack* *Smack*
Nikki:And there's more of that where that came from!
GP:Well, we've got to go the action. Falcon and Scott are up, Falcon has the
advantage, but he's definitly favoring that leg, as is Scott. Falcon kicks
Scott in the gut, grabs him in a front face lock, picks him up, delayed
vertical suplex on the cruise ship. That rocked the ship a little bit.
Nikki:That won't be the first time Greg. Cover, 1... 2...
JT:No, kickout by Scott. Falcon is getting a little frustrated, wouldn't you
GP:I'd have to agree. Falcon picks Scott up, and, NO! There's the ring! Our
booth isn't the ring! Falcon slams Scott's head into our booth again. They
are climbing up this booth. What do they have planned! What does Falcon have
planned for Dennis Scott!
Nikki:Don't tell me. Piledriver? He's setting him up... NO! POWERBOMB OFF
THE TABLE ONTO THE CRUISE SHIP! There rocks the boat again!
JT:With this kind of action, we may break the ship even before we get to an
GP:Wait a second, Falcon is digging under the ring. What's he looking for.
Nikki:Whatever it is, he's found it. Look at that smile. Oh, it's a table!
GP:Falcon's setting up the table, he has it up on the outside. Dennis Scott
has rolled into the ring now, as Falcon is looking around the outside for
JT:Wait, Scott, running start off the ropes, back across, FLYING SHOULDER
TACKLE THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES! Good thing they moved away from the
announce table! Go Scott! Go Falcon!
Nikki:Yeah, but now they're near that pool! I think we might see someone
GP:Dennis Scott grabs Falcon, WAIT! He just tossed Falcon up and over the
ship! He's in the water!
JT:No he's not Greg, get your facts straight. He's dangling from the side of
the boat! Scott's trying to push him off, there goes a hand.
Nikki:Ow! Killer Bear from behind with a huge chair shot. Scott goes away,
and he's wobbling. Killer Bear with another huge chair shot, UP AND OVER THE
GUARDRAIL AND INTO THE POOL! I was right!
JT:Falcon has climbed back onto the boat. That was close for Falcon. He was
almost tossed out by the Upper Classman.
GP:Scott looks mad in that pool. Let's just say he's creating waves here in
JT:Nice pathetic attempt at humor Greg.
JT:You know you are going to pay for that.
GP:Falcon is waiting for Scott. Scott turns around, Falcon jumps onto the
guardrail, FLYING CROSS BODY INTO THE POOL ON SCOTT! That may not have
really hurt Scott, but it's definitly going to get them out of the pool.
JT:And look at that idiot ref! He's trying to make the count of someone in
the pool! HAHAHAHA!
Nikki:You don't want another one, do you?
JT:No ma'am. I'll shut up.
GP:The Falcon flying high into the pool! Frank grabs Scott and throws him
back out of the pool.
GP:Yeah, it's the Falcon's name? Remember.
JT:Oh, oh, oh right. Go Frank! Go Dennis!
GP:(Mumbles)Idiot(end). Falcon throws Scott into the ring now after coming
back out of the pool himself. You could have just pinned him there Falcon!
Cover, 1... 2...no, Scott with a huge kickout!
JT:Did he call me what I think he did?
Nikki:Get over it. Falcon takes Scott and throws him off the ropes, no,
Killer Bear hooks the top rope causing Scott to flip up and over the top
rope. Now come on this is not fair! At least Killer Bear is not pounding on
JT:I think he called me an idiot! I really do.
GP:Falcon waits for Dennis Scott to get up, he waits, and waits, and now he
gets up, Falcon flies with a huge Piscada down onto Scott!
JT:Please refrain from calling me that again.
GP:JT, you finally figured out what I said. Man, you are slow!
Nikki:Hey, that's not the story, JT actually used an intelligent word!
JT:Why thank y... hey!
GP:Let's just do our job and call the match. Falcon may be just as hurt as
Dennis Scott, because I haven't seen him move during our whole argument.
What, Falcon is slowly pulling himself up using the guardrail near the pool.
Scott is still down, but is slowly getting to his feet.
Nikki:Falcon is up, big boot to the skull of Scott. Falcon takes Scott, and
goes to whip him into the guardrail, no, reversal by Scott sending Frank
into the steel. Frank clutches his kidney area as Scott does some poising.
GP:That's not all he's going to do, charging, clothesline pancaking Falcon
between Scott and the guardrail!
JT:Falcon is hurting, but so is Scott. Wait, Scott is going to the other
side, no, not that far, he's stopped, and he's got the table from earlier!
YES! YES! BLOOD!
Nikki:Scott rams the side into Falcon's midsection, sets the table down, and
then slams Falcon's skull into the side. Look, a small piece of the corner
GP:Scott tosses Falcon onto the table, and he slides into the ring. Scott
climbing up to the top rope, what's he got planned here. Scott, TENNESSE
JT:NO! Falcon rolled out of the way! Falcon! Go Falcon! Go Scott!
GP:Who ARE you roting for anyway?
JT:I just want to see someone carted out of here.
GP:Oh, stupid question. But back to the point at hand, Dennis Scott went
flying for a Tennesse Jam and went right through that table! He's got to be
hurting. Frank Peregrine with a rollup, 1....
GP:NO! Kickout in the nick of time! He barely got that right shoulder up.
There rookies are putting on a show! Falcon grabs Scott now, and throws him
into the ring. Peregrine slides in himself, and pulls himself up with the
Nikki:Dennis Scott is lying face down in the ring, as Peregrine goes over to
him, and locks him in a reverse pain killer... straight into the rings of
Saturn. You've got to think he was watching some of the IWO veterans
JT:Yeah, High Flyer! Scott's out, ring the bell!
GP:He's not out, he's crawling to the ropes.
JT:What good will that do, he has to grab them, not sit next to them, and to
grab them, and has to have his hands free!
Nikki:Not quite! Dennis Scott drapes his foot across the bottom rope! The
referee is forcing Falcon to release the hold, and he does at a count of
four. Falcon up quickly, and he pulls Scott right towards the center of the
ring. Standing leg drop by Falcon. Falcon runs off the ropes, and he goes
for another one.
GP:BUT SCOTT ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY! Dennis Scott is getting his second wind.
He chops Falcon, picks him up, throws him off the ropes, comes back across,
clotheslines him down to the mat. Falcon up quickly though, Scott throws him
back off, leaping dropkick to the side of the face. Falcon down in the
corner. Scott from the other side, RUNNING DROPKICK! Head mets turnbuckle
JT:Scott is kicking Falcon all over that ring! Scott is doing some poising,
and now Falcon runs at him, arm drag takeover right into an arm bar. Drops
down, and now turns it into... Code Red.
JT:It's a scissor armbar.
Nikki:It doesn't matter, Scott just picked up and drops his leg across the
windpipe of Falcon with such force! Scott with a cover, lateral press,
1....2...no, Falcon barely kicks out in the nick of time. Scott picks up
Falcon, and throws him off the ropes, back across, BIG BACK BODY DROP!
GP:Scott takes Falcon again, Falcon can't last much longer, throws him off
the ropes, no, reversal, and Killer Bear hooks Scott's legs, and bam, face
first dive into the mat. Dennis Scott turns around, he swipes at Killer
JT:Scott turns around, boot in the gut by Falcon, SPINNING TIGER BOMB!
Falcon lets go of the cover, and now, he goes over to him, CLAWHOLD
GP:I believe he calls that the Talon JT. And Scott is not going to give it
Nikki:Scott is fighting it. He's fighting to reach the ropes, he's reaching,
oh, I think Falcon gave Scott a knee to the midsection. That may have
knocked his wind out. Scott is fading.
JT:He's not fading anymore, I think he's out. The referee checks his arm,
once, and it drops, twice, and it drops, three times... IT FALLS!
*Ding, ding, ding*
GP:Well, we've got a winner here in Frank, the Falcon, Peregrine.
JT:Great match actually. They put on one HELL of a show.
Nikki:Yeah, for once I agree with JT. These two show promise. And to think
the match ended in the ring!
(A large horn is heard. Just then our cameras catch a large ship approaching.)
GP - This is it... Here comes the USS Titan II!!!
JT - This is where things get... WEIRD. Hell, I take that back, they really
can't get any more weird than they already have.
Nikki - This is the IWO, anything can happen.
(The large ship is getting closer. We see Titan and his naked whores waving.)
JT - YEAH!!! NAKED WOMEN!!!
GP - I guess there goes our TV-PG rating.
JT - I don't see any of those damn little black dots they put over the
GP - JT!!!
JT - Oh yeah, can't say nipples can we?
Nikki - NO!!!
JT - Why don't you show off your nipples Nikki!!!
(Nikki slaps JT.)
GP - JT, I think you've gone too far.
Nikki - HOW DARE YOU!!!
(The USS Titan II pulls up alongside of the USS Neptune. The ship comes to a
complete stop. The naked whores watch as Titan puts down a board and walks
across to the USS Neptune. The crowd really doesn't know what to think since
half of them are looking at the naked whores. Titan is waving to the crowd.
Titan turns back to the USS Titan II. He yells out.)
Titan - NAKED WHORE NUMBER 8!!! YOU ARE TO DRIVE THE SHIP TO THE POINT ON
Naked Whore 8 - YES CAPTAIN TITAN!!!
(The USS Titan II takes off at a very rapid pace. It is headed away from the
USS Neptune. Titan is now walking towards the ring. He pulls out a
microphone... Amazing how everyone has microphones. He gets into the ring.)
Titan - HELLO ALL YOU TITANMANIACS!!!
(The crowd amazingly cheers.)
Titan - The Greatest IWO/FWL Champion of ALL TIME has arrived!!!
(The crowd cheers some more.)
Titan - Now, tonight who wants to see Zombie take on Phelen Kell!?!
(The crowd cheers.)
Titan - Now... Who wants to see me kick somebody's ass!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
Titan - So... All my Titanmaniacs out there really do love me!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
Titan - So you wanna see me kick some ass...
(The crowd yells out, "KICK SOME ASS")
Titan - HOW ABOUT I PULL ALL YOUR FAT ASSES INTO THE RING AND KICK YOU!!!
(The crowd boos.)
Titan - Don't expect me to come out here and f'n want you morons to cheer me
on. Hell the last thing I want is anything from you people. This is a damn
cruise ship. The USS Neptune, hell, with all you ugly mothers, it should be
called the USS URANUS!!!
(The crowd boos.)
Titan - The simple fact is this... Tonight I'm going to make some noise and
there's not a damn thing anybody can do about it. That goes for you the
fans, the IWO board, Phelen Kell, Zombie, and especially that GAY ASS
stable, The Upper Class. I'm sorry Joey, you just aren't TOP CLASS material...
(The crowd boos.)
Titan - Oh and just remember one thing... A world title just isn't a world
title without ME... Now, I have some people to talk to... If you'll excuse
me. But hey, I'll be back out here VERY soon. I promise you that...
(Titan drops the microphone and heads out of the ring.)
GP - Well... This is going to be VERY interesting to see what goes down here
tonight. He has promised something big and we know that Titan doesn't
JT - I'm worried...
Nikki - You, worried? Would seeing my nipples cheer you up?
JT - OH...
Nikki - NOT IN YOUR LIFETIME FREAK BOY!!!
(Nikki slaps JT.)
Nikki: Fans, up next we have the thrilling Tables & Ladders Match here at
IWO's Beach Party!
JT: And WHAT a party it's been. hey, when are you going to slip into that
JT: Not even a bikini?
JT: Sheesh. Well, at any rate... there is already tables and ladders
inside the ring for this matchup... and as we already know, falls WILL
count anywhere aboard this great cruiseship!
Nikki: I can't wait for this to start!
GP: Anyways, both Jason Nash and Dark Wolf have made their way down to the
ring... what an extreme matchup this is going to be!
[The bell rings to start the match.]
JT: Herrrreeee we go!
GP: Jason Nash charges in early... quick fireman's carry into a armbar by
Dark Wolf! But Jason Nash breaks free quickly, and they lock up once again
near the ropes.
JT: There's an Irish whip... Jason Nash flies off the ropes, and Dark Wolf
lowers his head-but Jason Nash connects with a quick-moving spinning
GP: But Dark Wolf gets right back up - AND JASON NASH CATCHES HIM WITH A
SINGLE ARM DDT!
Nikki: JASON NASH MAKES A QUICK COVER!
[The referee counts:
JT: Jason Nash gets right up in a hurry... and now he's pounding into Dark
Wolf with hard right hands... he backs Dark Wolf into a corner, and whips
him out... but wait, Dark Wolf reverses and he sends Jason Nash flying
across the ring.
GP: Dark Wolf runs in after him... STINGER SPLASH! Jason Nash stumbles out
of the corner in a daze, and Dark Wolf follows it up with a huge running
Nikki: But apparently, Dark Wolf isn't finished yet... he sets up a ladder
in the corner of the ring. goes to the top of that ladder for some
GP: He's perched at the top... TWISTING MOONSAULT!!! BUT JASON NASH GETS
HIS KNEES UP RIGHT IN THE NICK OF TIME!
Nikki: That was definitely a risky move on Dark Wolf's part... and it
turned out bad.
GP: Jason Nash hauls Dark Wolf to his feet... and knocks him against the
ropes with a hard right hand. Wolf stumbles back into the center of the
JT: CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL BY THE BIG MAN JASON NASH! DARK WOLF NEARLY GOT
DECAPITATED... AND NASH HOOKS THE LEG AND ROLLS BACK!
[The referee counts:
GP: Jason Nash just shrugs, and starts putting the boots to Dark Wolf...
OH, AND DARK WOLF CONNECTS WITH A LEGSWEEP THAT SENDS NASH DOWN TO THE MAT!
JT: Now Jason Nash gets back up to his feet quickly though, and he
CLOTHESLINES DARK WOLF THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE APRON!
GP: Now Jason Nash climbs to the top rope himself... he waits on the top
turnbuckle, perched and waiting for Dark Wolf to get back up to his feet on
JT: Dark Wolf finally gets back up to his feet!
GP: JASON NASH WITH A CROSS BODYBLOCK... BUT DARK WOLF CATCHES HIM IN
MID-AIR AND TURNS IT INTO A POWERSLAM TO THE DECK OF THE SHIP!!! OH MY GOD!
JT: That was amazing! A powerslam from the apron to the floor of the deck
here... geez oh man!
GP: Jason Nash is not moving on the outside, so Dark Wolf takes the time to
grab a loungechair from the pool area!
JT: He winds up... WHACK!!! RIGHT ACROSS THE HEAD OF JASON NASH!
Nikki: Now they're fighting over towards the diving board area of the pool!
GP: DARK WOLF LAYS OUT JASON NASH ON THE DIVING BOARD, BUT HE PICKS HIM
BACK UP AND STANDS HIM ON HIS FEET.
JT: THEY'RE BOTH STANDING UP ON THE EDGE OF THE DIVING BOARD NOW. WHAT THE
HELL ARE THEY GONNA DO?!
GP: DARK WOLF SETS UP NASH. OH HOLY-
JT: MY GOD!!! JUMPING PILEDRIVER ONTO THE DIVING BOARD!!!
Nikki: BOTH MEN GO FLYING OFF INTO THE POOL. AND JASON NASH IS OBVIOUSLY
BUSTED OPEN HORRIBLY! THERE'S BLOOD ALL ON THE DIVING BOARD AND IN THE POOL!
GP: THAT HAS TO BE THE SING MOST BRUTAL MOVE I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME!
MY GOD, HE COULD HAVE BROKEN HIS NECK!
JT: Now it looks like the two men are exchanging punches in the pool area.
OH, AND DARK WOLF SLAMS JASON NASH'S HEAD INTO THE SIDE OF THE POOL!
Nikki: And FINALLY, Dark Wolf hauls Nash head first out of the pool. ew, is
he ever bloody.
GP: Irish whip by Wolf. NO, REVERSED BY NASH. WOLF GOES SAILING INTO ONE OF
THE CABIN'S WINDOWS! OH, GOD. THE GLASS SHATTED AND DARK WOLF IS NOW LAID
OUT INSIDE THE CABIN!
JT: Jason Nash stumbles back into the cabin through the window. AND HE
MAKES A COVER!
[The referee counts:
TWO AND A HALF!]
GP: Jason Nash is NOT looking good here in this point in the matchup. Now
Dark Wolf rolls Jason Nash back into the ring, and he executes an Irish
whip off the ropes.
JT: SPINNING HEEL KICK BY DARK WOLF! IT CONNECTED RIGHT ON JASON NASH'S
FOREHEAD! HE'S KNOCKED OUT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING... AND DARK WOLF GOES
FOR THE COVER!
[The referee counts:
GP: Oh, man, that was CLOSE.
JT: This two guys are really giving it their all here tonight... I guess
they want to build up as good a win streak as they can before leaving the
Nikki: Yeah, I think you're right.
JT: Dark Wolf gets up to his feet before Jason Nash does... AND HE SETS HIM
UP FOR A DDT!
GP: BUT JASON NASH REVERSES IT... HE TURNS IT INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS
SUPLEX... WITH A BRIDGE! THIS IS IT!
[The referee counts:
JT: BARELY A KICKOUT!
GP: You know, that was close, but not enough. Man, what an upscale matchup
we've got on our hands right now. This is just typical IWO pay-per-view
fare right here!
Nikki: You never shut up, do you?
JT: Ehhh... no.
JT: Put that down! WHOA, out of nowhere, BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX BY DARK WOLF
TO JASON NASH! HE MAKES THE TRANSITION, BUT HE DOESN'T GO FOR THE COVER!
Nikki: Instead he is proceeding to beat the living pulp out of Jason Nash
with lefts and rights all around!
GP: The fans are chanting along, and so are we!
[Fans: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT-]
JT: JASON NASH RAKES THE EYES AND THROWS HIM OFF! NOW JASON NASH GETS UP
AND REBOUNDS OFF THE ROPES... ELBOWDROP!
GP: He stands up once more... AND DROPS ANOTHER ELBOW TO THE JAW OF DARK WOLF!
JT: Nash sets up a table in the middle of the ring, and makes sure it's
Nikki: Now Jason Nash is building up momentum! He brings Dark Wolf to his
feet... FIREMAN'S CARRY TAKEOVER... NO, WAIT!
GP: DARK WOLF CONNECTS WITH A HARD MULE KICK!
JT: BUT JASON NASH STILL HOLDS HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
GP: DEATH VALLEY DRIVER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING THROUGH THAT TABLE!!!
JT: IT BROKE INTO A MILLION PIECES! HERE'S A COVER!
[The referee counts:
Nikki: He kicked out! Dark Wolf kicked out!
JT: Both men get up at about the same time... Jason Nash rushes in,
CLOTHESLINE! BUT DARK WOLF DUCKS, AND HE CONNECTS WITH A QUICK REVERSE
FULL NELSON FACEBUSTER!!!
GP: NOW DARK WOLF HOOKS THE LEG!
[The referee counts:
Nikki: Jason Nash kicks out and he's still in the match! Man, this match
is non-stop from beginning to the end so far.
GP: I'll have to agree with you. This is definitely an exciting show being
put on by the fans by these two competitors.
JT: Dark Wolf hauls Jason Nash to his feet, and he whips him hard off the
ropes... and he follows him to the ropes... HE DRIVES AN ELBOW INTO JASON
NASH'S MOUTH AND HE GOES FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE, LANDING ON THE RING APRON!
GP: Now Dark Wolf pulls him back up to his feet, and hooks him up for a
suplex. He hoists him up high in the air... HE DROPS HIM ON THE TURNBUCKLE!
GP: Dark Wolf follows him by climbing up on the turnbuckle... he's going
for a superplex, Nikki, and it looks like its going to end up going through
that open folding chair in the center of the ring!
Nikki: No kidding!
GP: He lifts him up... WAIT, JASON NASH REVERSES! JASON NASH COUNTERS AND
DROPS DARK WOLF FACE-FIRST DOWN TO THE CANVAS!
JT: BUT DARK WOLF GETS RIGHT BACK UP... AND JASON NASH FLIES OFF THE TOP
WITH A SUNSET FLIP!!!
Nikki: OH MY GOD HE HIT THE SUNSET FLIP RIGHT ON TOP OF A LADDER DOWN ON
GP: THIS IS GOING TO BE IT!
[The referee counts:
THR-DARK WOLF KICKS OUT!]
JT: Jason Nash pounds the mat in frusturation as he starts jawing with the
referee... but look, Dark Wolf pulled something out of his tights!
Nikki: It's brass knuckles!
JT: Jason Nash turns around... DARK WOLF SWINGS, BUT JASON NASH DUCKS! HE
PUNCHES THE KNUCKS OUT OF DARK WOLF'S HANDS, AND HE GRABS THEM AND PUTS
GP: NOW JASON NASH SWINGS... BUT DARK WOLF DUCKS!
JT: THEY BOTH REBOUND OFF THE ROPES!
GP: DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
JT: These guys are duking it out like the world is going to end tomorrow!
GP: The referee starts the mandatory ten count... but surprisingly, he
stops at two because both men are back up on their feet.
GP: Dark Wolf grabs Jason Nash, whipping him into the ropes. He ducks a
clothesline... JASON NASH IS THEN CAUGHT WITH A BACKBODYDROP-NO!
JT: THAT'S A DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER... CORKSCREWED, RIGHT ON TOP OF
GP: JASON NASH HOOKS THE LEG AND ROLLS BACK!
[The referee counts:
GP: Nash pounds the mat in frusturation! He grabs Dark Wolf by the head...
and he chucks him back out to the deck!
Nikki: Both men are battered and horribly beaten... what can they possibly
JT: The HELL? Jason Nash moves over to the lifeboats... and he unties one
and brings it down to the deck... AND HE PUSHES IT INTO THE POOL!!!
GP: Now there's a freakin' LIFEBOAT in that pool!?
Nikki: Now it looks like Nash is leading Dark Wolf towards the diving board
once again... they're up near the edge of it!
JT: Jason Nash hooks up Dark Wolf... and he's waiting for the lifeboard to
come floating near the diving board, apparently!
GP: THEY JUMP OFF!
JT: INCREDIBLE DDT OFF THE DIVING BOARD... RIGHT ONTO THE LIFEBOAT-OH MY
GOD... THAT BOAT DIDN'T BREAK! BOTH MEN LANDED ON THAT BOAT WITH FULL
FORCE, ESPECIALLY DARK WOLF - HIS NECK LANDED RIGHT ON THE SIDE OF IT!
Nikki: DARK WOLF DOES NOT LOOK GOOD...
GP: But it looks like Jason Nash isn't through with him yet... he flips
Dark Wolf over, and-
Nikki: Oh, GOD! Dark Wolf's face is completely bloody! This is sick!
JT: Nash slowly climbs out of the pool... and he starts climbing the diving
board once again! What is he doing now?
GP: DARK WOLF STILL ISN'T MOVING ON THAT LIFEBOAT!
JT: NASH RUNS ON THE DIVING BOARD... JUMPS OFF... HOLY SHIT, A TRUE
SPRINGBOARD FROG SPLASH!!! THROUGH DARK WOLF AND THROUGH THE BOAT!!!!!!
GP: OH MY GOD!!!
Nikki: THE BOAT IS TOTALLY WRECKED! PIECES OF IT ARE FLOATING EVERYWHERE,
AND NEITHER NASH NOR DARK WOLF IS ANYWHERE TO BE FOUND!
JT: THIS IS AN EXTREMELY SCARY SITUATION...
GP: WAIT A MINUTE! There's Dark Wolf! He's floating up towards the top of
the water... and he's got Jason Nash by the hair!
JT: THEY'RE ALIVE?!
GP: Dark Wolf pulls something from underneath one of the pool's
loungechairs... WHAT THE HELL? IT'S A TWENTY POUND WEIGHT!
JT: HE CLOBBERS JASON NASH IN THE FACE WITH IT... NASH GOES DOWN BY THE
EDGE OF THE POOL! NOW DARK WOLF PULLS STRING OUT OF HIS TIGHTS... HE
STARTS TO TIE THE WEIGHT DOWN TO NASH'S CHEST!
Nikki: I see where this is going!
GP: DARK WOLF STRUGGLES TO LIFT NASH UP... BUT HE DOES... POWERBOMB OFF THE
SIDE OF THE POOL RIGHT INTO THE WATER!!!
JT: DARK WOLF IS ORDERING THE REFEREE TO FOLLOW HIM?! WHAT IS HE DOING?!
GP: LOOK!!! THAT WEIGHT TIED TO NASH IS BRINGING HIM DOWN UNDERWATER!!!
HE CAN'T GET BACK UP TO THE SURFACE! THE REFEREE FOLLOWS BOTH MEN
JT: NASH SINKS DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL... AND DARK WOLF COVERS HIM
FROM TEN FEET UNDERWATER!!! THE REFEREE COUNTS... JASON NASH HAS NOWHERE
[The referee counts:
GP: WHAT THE HELL?! JASON NASH REVERSES THE PINFALL ATTEMPT WITH THAT
WEIGHT STILL HOLDING HIM DOWN! NOW HE'S ON TOP OF DARK WOLF AND THE
REFEREE STARTS TO COUNT!!!
[The referee counts:
JT: DARK WOLF REVERSES IT!!!
[The referee counts again:
[The bell rings three times to signify the end of the matchup!]
JT: BRILLIANT MOVE BY DARK WOLF!!! HE WINS THE MATCH... IN ONE OF THE
MOST DAMN ENTERTAINING MATCHES IN IWO HISTORY!
Winner: DARK WOLF VIA PINFALL!
Nikki: Using that weight to make Jason Nash sink to the bottom of the
pool... that was pure GENIUS on the part of Dark Wolf... but the fact that
Jason Nash had the mindset to actually REVERSE it is even more amazing! But
then Wolf reversed that!!!
GP: Even I've got to admit... DAMN, WHAT A MOVE!
JT: History has been made by this match... and we're glad you're witnessing
Intercontinental Tag Team Title Match
Era X w/Master Mage -c- v. High Flyer & Jax Stone w/John Smythe (The Cult)
GP: And now we have the Intercontinental Tag Team Title Match. This will be
Nikki: I would have to go with Era X here in this match. I mean, they proved
that they could beat High Flyer and Jax Stone in singles compition, why not
JT: Because High Flyer and Jax Stone want some revenge, and they are going to
("Americana" by Offsrping starts to play and High Flyer and Jax Stone with
John Smythe starts to come out.)
Ring Anouncer: The following contest is for the Intercontinental Tag Team
Championships! First, making their way to the ring, at a total combined
weight of 472 pounds, High Flyer and Jax Stone, the Cult!
("Enter Sandman" by Mettalica starts to play and Phantom and RaynMan start
walking down to the ring.)
Ring Anouncer: And their opponents, the champions, at a total combined weight
of 455 pounds, Phantom and RaynMan, Era X!
*Ding Ding Ding*
GP: Here we go. Flyer is starting it off with RaynMan. High Flyer sends
RaynMan to the ropes, RaynMan with a cross body but momentum turns them over,
Flyer with the cover, not even a one count. Both men back up. RaynMan with
a punch, Flyer ducks, from the back, German Suplex, no RaynMan did a full
back flip and landed on his feet. Flyer turns around, RaynMan with an arm
bar, Flyer with a series of flips and reverses it into his own arm bar.
JT: There you go Flyer. Flyer starts pounding on the arm of RaynMan. He
sends RaynMan to the ropes, leap frog, and Flyer executes a nice superkick to
the face of RaynMan. Flyer with a tag to Stone. This is why they are going
to win. You thought they were not going to work well together as a team!
GP: Well, Stone picks RaynMan up, he sends him to the ropes, RaynMan made a
blind tag! Phantom in, RaynMan ducks a clothesline, Phantom from behind,
Inverted DDT. Flyer from the ring apron hip tosses RaynMan out of the ring.
This is when things will start getting ugly.
Nikki: Phantom pounding away at Stone. Phantom picks Stone up, back breaker.
Stone to the ropes, back body drop. Stone quickly rolls out of the ring,
that's the coward way.
GP: Meanwhile, outside, RaynMan just nailed Flyer with a chair. He gets in
the ring. Phantom sends him to the ropes, Phantom back body drops RaynMan
out of the ring right on to Stone. Wow!
Nikki: That's why Era X is going to win.
JT: Wait, Flyer is back up, he's on the top rope, Phantom turns around, Flyer
off, missle drop kick! Flyer is fighting Phantom in the ring. Meanwhile,
RaynMan is what?
Nikki: RaynMan is kicking Jax Stone a... butt! RaynMan pounding away at Jax.
He has Jax teetring. RaynMan charges, Jax sidesteps and sends RaynMan
flying into the pool!
JT: Now that's a belly flop! Ha ha ha. Jax goes over by one of those
tables. He grabs a beach umbrella. Jax rolls into the ring, from behind,
Phantom ducked! He nailed Flyer. Oh no!
Nikki: Yeah! Phantom grabs the beach umbrella, and he nails Jax with it.
Phantom with a kick to Jax, powerbomb. The Cult seems to be in trouble JT.
JT: They'll pull out of it.
GP: Well, at the moment, it does not seem so. RaynMan is getting out of the
pool. He's not hurt, just mad. Phantom with a body slam on Stone. He picks
up Flyer, gut wrench powerbomb.
Nikki: Phantom is taking on both men!
JT: But they were both nailed with an umbrella!
Nikki: RaynMan has gone to the top rope. Stone is in position for any high
flying move. He does a flip into a leg drop but Jax moved!
GP: Phantom turns his attention to Jax. Jax trying to crawl out of the ring.
Flyer has regained his compuser, he delivers a drop kick to the back of
Phantom. Phantom flies over the top rope. Flyer off the ropes, Springboard
Moonsault! Flyer got on the ropes, turned around and then jumped! What a
JT: Ha! RaynMan has been on those ropes for a while though.
Nikki: RaynMan launches for a moonsault, he nailed Jax with it.
GP: Flyer and Phantom are right by us just trading punches. Flyer blocks a
punch, and he takes Phantom's head and nails him right on the announcing
JT: Hey, they better not break this table, it's still early in the PPV!
GP: Flyer sends Phantom back into the ring. In the ring RaynMan has sent Jax
to the ropes, but Jax ducked a spinning heel kick, Jax with a kick, it's
caught, RaynMan trips Jax up. Flyer goes under the ring and grabs a chair
which he throws in. He also grabs a table and slides that in. Flyer picks
up the chair and nails Phantom with the chair!
JT: RaynMan is going to get the same treatment.
Nikki: RaynMan drop kicked the chair right back into the face of Flyer. High
Flyer is down!
JT: But Jax is back up. He locks on a cobra clutch on RaynMan.
GP: Ray with a low blow!
JT: No fair! Ray now clotheslines Jax over the top rope.
GP: Meanwhile, Flyer is back up as is Phantom. Flyer sets up the table at
the corner. Flyer tries to send Phantom to the table, reversed, Flyer
reversed again and sent Phantom flipping into the table. Phantom landed on
his head a little weird I think.
Nikki: Phantom's neck could be broken!
JT: It's not broken! And if it was, I guess The Cult would be the champs.
GP: RaynMan on the outside is fighting down by the stairs.
JT: Where do those stairs lead to again?
Nikki: The cabins! RaynMan drop kicks Jax down the stairs. Jax is tumbling
down. That has to hurt.
GP: Flyer just leaves Phantom. I don't think he's moving! Flyer goes by
RaynMan and turns Ray around. Ray ducks a punch and starts punching Flyer.
RaynMan pushes Flyer off of him. And now they are just pounding away at each
other. They are by the pool now. Flyer tries to shove RaynMan into the pool
again. RaynMan holds on and pushes Flyer in, wait, both are on the very edge
teetering, and they both fall!
Nikki: Where's Phantom?
JT: Where is Phantom?
GP: Get a camera somewhere, where is Phantom.
Nikki: With Jax Stone at the bottom. How did he get there? Either way.
Phantom is fighting Jax. Jax with a kick, DDT!
GP: The ref doesn't know which group to follow. He's just going to stay by
the ring. Right now, Flyer and RaynMan are trying to drown each other in the
pool. That's not to smart.
JT: And at the bottom, Stone has taken control over Phantom. Stone with a
punch, blocked, Phantom sends Stone right through a door. Any hot ladies in
Nikki: Shut up JT. Phantom and Stone are in a cabin. They are fighting
away. Phantom looking for a weapon. He got a glass flower vase. He just
nails Stone with it. Stone dropped, well, like a stone! Phantom now going
toward the bathroom, what?
GP: Wait, I think I hear water running. Phantom takes Jax Stone and throws
him in the bath tub. He turns on the shower. Stone is just getting drenched
with water. He is knocked out. He doesn't feel anything. Phantom is
JT: But look right here. Flyer is fighting RaynMan by the edge of the boat.
Both men are soaked. Flyer trying to lift RaynMan out of the boat, RaynMan
holds on to the railing and kicks Flyer off him.
GP: There hasn't even been a pinfall attempt in this match. And look!
Phantom is back! Flyer doesn't know it. He comes up behind Flyer. Inverted
DDT. Phantom and RaynMan just stomping away at Flyer now. Phantom picks
Flyer up. They roll him into the ring.
Nikki: With Jax Stone knocked out in that bathroom, this sets Flyer up for
perfect double teaming action. Phantom sends Flyer to the ropes, back body
drop. Into perfect position for a 450 splash from Flyer. High Flyer is not
in good shape. Here's the first cover of the match, and maybe the last.
GP: He kicked out!
JT: Whoo. That was close.
GP: Wait a second. Someone is crawling up the stairs. It's Jax!
Nikki: Look at what that vase did to him. His face has a big gash. No blood
JT: Cus he was under running water for about 15 minutes you idiot.
Nikki: Oh yeah...
GP: Phantom and RaynMan don't know. I don't think they should care either.
Jax does not look to be in good condition.
Nikki: I've alwaysed like Jax. But I think this is too much. He has a TV
Title match after this too!
JT: But look, Jax has crawled under the ring.
GP: He pulls out a ladder. He rolls into the ring.
Nikki: Phantom and Ray execute a double suplex. They get up and get met with
steel to the face! Jax just pounded both men with that ladder. He sets it
up in the corner, and sends Phantom flying into the ladder. He picks RaynMan
up and he sends him flying into the corner.
JT: A SECOND WIND!
Nikki: After all that punishment?
GP: Jax is trying to revive Flyer. He knows if Flyer can get something going
they could win. Flyer is knocked out though. Jax now kicks Phantom in the
stomach, he kicks RaynMan in the stomach, double DDT! Flyer is slowly
JT: Jax is now stomping away at RaynMan and Phantom. Flyer is setting up
that ladder. He's going all they way top!
Nikki: This isn't a ladder match. Jax takes Phantom and body slams him.
Flyer off the ladder, shooting star press on Phantom! Flyer just rolls out
of the ring. He's hurt. Phantom is down. Ray charges Jax, he ducks, both
go to the ropes, double clothesline! Both men had the same idea! All 4 men
GP: I think this match is over. They can't go on.
Nikki: I would have to agree with you here GP.
GP: All the men aren't moving. The ref is starting the ten count. Wait a
second, Phantom put his hand up. He grabs the ropes. He's pulling himself
back up! How can this be?
Nikki: Phantom is up, and he just collaspes on Jax. One... Two... Three....
JT: NO! HE KICKED OUT!
GP: These men are giving it their all here. They are all close to dead!
Nikki: Wait, over there. It's Flyer. He's up. He climbs on the ring apron.
Slingshot Cross Body! One... Two... Thre...
GP: NO, kickout!
Nikki: Any pinfall could be a vicotory in this stage of the game. Jax and
RaynMan up. Jax clothesline RaynMan out of the ring. He kicks Phantom,
Elimination! Flyer to the top rope. FLYING MOON SHOT!!!!! Flyer with a
cover. One... Two... RaynMan from the top leg drops Flyer to stop the count.
JT: SO CLOSE!
GP: Yet so far!
Nikki: Phantom is down though. RaynMan drop kicks Flyer. He goes to the
top. RayCarrana on Stone!
JT: NO! One... Two... Flyer stops the count. That was close.
GP: Flyer, RaynMan, Phantom, and Jax Stone have givven it there all. Phantom
is also the only one who does not have another match. However, I would have
to say, most of this is fatigue, if they just rest a while, they'll be fine.
JT: Maybe, but from what I see, they are just doing everything they can to
GP: I wonder what they have to eat, I'm hungry.
JT: Yeah. Me too.
Nikki: I ate.
GP: What did they have?
Nikki: Some messed up ham.
GP: Back to the match. Flyer and RaynMan are exchaning blows. Phantom and
Jax are outside brawling it out. The ref has just sat on top of the
turnbuckle, this match has become to hectic.
Nikki: He should do his job!
JT: Yeah! I mean, no!
GP: Did you just agree with Nikki?
JT: No, I didn't.
GP: Yes you did.
Nikki: Oh my god....
GP: Jax Stone has just drilled Phantom with a hockey stick. The hockey stick
is broken in half. Stone must have got that hockey stick from under the ring.
JT: Why do they put a hockey stick under the ring?
Nikki: I know, I mean....
GP: Nikki? You too?
JT: My worst nightmare.
GP: Stone rolls into the ring. He catches RaynMan from behind, kick,
ELIMINATION! Flyer off the top rope. Flying Moon Shot! IT'S OVER! One...
Two... Thre... the ref is not counting the three. RaynMan has his hand on
the rope. Phantom put RaynMan's hand on the rope.
Nikki: We're still fighting.
JT: Oh yay....
GP: Flyer off the rope, he flies to a cork screw plancha on Phantom. RaynMan
comes back up, Elimination again! That's two! Cover! One....
JT: THREE!!!!! I told you they were going to win.
Ring Anouncer: The winner of this match, and NEW Intercontinental Tag Team
Champions... High Flyer and Jax Stone, the CULT!!!!
GP: Flyer and Stone beat all odds, they beat Era X!
Pacific Title #1 Contender
Al Coholic vs. Da Bronx Bro
GP-Here we go with another great match. We have Da Bronx Bro versus Al
Coholic for the number one contendorship for the Pacific title. Lets go to
the anouncing for this match.
("Got the Life" by KoRn start blasting through the U.S.S Neptune as Al
Coholic starts to make his way out.)
Anouncer-Comming to the ring first, weighing in at two-hundred and
seventy-four pounds...standing at a tall 6'7"....the master of the Hapy
Hour!!! Al Coholic...!!
JT-There goes my prediction.
("Ruff Ryders Anthem" by DMX start to play on the ship's PA system. Da Bronx
Bro steps out of from the back and starts to make his way to the ring.)
Anouncer-Comming to the ring next, weighing in at 273 pounds, and standing at
6'3"...Da Bronx Bro!!!
GP-Without a doubt he has what it takes to pull this win out. I pick him all
Nikki-I have to go with JT, I think Al Coholic will come out with the win.
GP-Well, we'll see, the bell just rang and both men are circling in the ring.
They lock up, DBB kicks Al in the mid section. Hes doubled over, DBB
bounces off the ropes and nails a swinging neck breaker. Cover,
JT-Way to eairly to be going for a cover.
GP-Your right JT, man, listen to me. DBB picks up Al and sends him out of
the ring. He follows him outside.
JT-I think i'm gonna take a nice swim when the PPV is over.
Nikki-I might go skinny dipping.
GP-DBB has a chair now. He nails Al on the back with the chair, and Al falls
back to the floor. He sits the chair on the ground and picks Al back up. He
puts Al between his legs and..piledriver on the chair. Cover,
one...two...kickout. DBB grabs Al up by his hair. Hes taking him to the
entrance way right now. Al punches DBB in the gut, and DBB lets go of his
hair. DBB gives Al a right, Al gives DBB a left.
Nikki-There exchanging punches. Al blocked DBB's right attempt and nails him
with a huge left knocking him back. Al rushes in and nails DBB with a
clothesline. Both men are out on the floor. The ref starts the ten count.
One, two, three, four, Al start to move. Five, Al is up and he stomps DBB,
who was trying to get up. Al picks up DBB and starts to take him through the
curtain to the back. They get to the back and their is stairs leading to the
cabins. Al sends DBB crashing down the stairs. Al just laughs at him and
starts walking down the steps.
JT-Al gets to the last step and stops. He walks up three steps and waits for
DBB to get up. He does and AL comes off the fourth step with a clothesline
nailing DBB with it. Al goes for a cover, one...two...thre, no. Al picks up
DBB and starts walking him past all the cabin doors. He finds one that he
likes and whips him into the door. DBB goes crashing through the wooden
door. HEY! THATS MY CABIN!
Nikki, Greg-Ha ha!
JT-Thats not funny! Both of you shut the hell up!
GP-Look at all those porno tapes.
JT-They came with the room.
GP-How come I didn't get any?
JT-Um...I ordered them in a special pakage?
GP-Sure JT. Look, Al has one of those tapes right now. It says "Boody and
the Beast." What a name. Al nails DBB on the top of the head with the porn
tape, and it breaks right over his head.
JT-Hes bleeding. Hey! That was my favorite one.
Nikki-What a pervert.
JT-Ah shut up.
Nikki-Al has thrown DBB out of the room and their heading back up the stairs.
Al tries to whip DBB into the stairs, but DBB reverses it and sends Al hard
into the stairs. DBB rushes in and nails Al with a clothesline, but DBB
GP-He pulled that move out of no where.
Nikki-DBB starts moving as the ref is at four. DBB is up, and he grabs Al by
his hair and is draging him back to the ring. He gets to the ramp, and whips
Al down to the ring. Al goes flying straight to the ring and hits the side
of it. DBB jogs back to the ring. He goes under the ring and pulls out a
table. He sets the table up right near us. He goes to grab Al, but gets
poked in the eye. DBB wobbles back a little bit. Al walks over to him and
drop kicks him in the knee. DBB falls to the ground. Al picks up DBB and
places him on the table. Al gets up on the table with him.
JT-I see something extreme comming. Al picks up DBB. He looks around at the
crowd. Hes calling for the Happy Hour. HE HIT IT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!! But
he might have hurt himself because hes looks out cold like DBB does. The ref
starts the ten count. One, two, three, four, five, six. Al places a right
hand on DBB. One..two..thre, NO! KICK OUT!! DBB kicked out of the Happy
Hour through a table! I can't believe it. Al pulls himself up by the guard
rail. He goes back under the ring and pulls out a bat?
GP-Whats a bat doing under the ring?
Nikki-I guess they are suplied down there? I have no idea.
JT-Whatever there doing down there Al has one and hes gonna use it. DBB is
on his knees trying to get up. Al runs at him and nails him in the head with
a bat. Look at all the damn blood!
GP-Al picks up DBB and rolls him into the ring. Al goes back under the ring
and pulls out a table. He slides it into the ring. He grabs a chair and
slides that into the ring. He gets into the ring. DBB is trying to pull
himself up by the ropes. Al walks over to him and DBB grabs Al's turnks and
sends him to the outside.
Nikki-Great move. He has some time to get up. DBB has pulled himself up
with the ropes and hes hanging on them trying to catch his breath. Al is up
and he slides in the ring. DBB catches him and stomps him on the top of the
head before he can get up. DBB grabs the chair Al put in the ring and nails
Al in the back with it. He drops the chair and picks up Al. He takes Al to
the corner and places him on the tree of woe. He places a chair infront of
Al. DBB bounces off the rope and drop kicks the chair in Al's face. Al
drops right off of the tree of woe, and hes bleeding badly. DBB picks up Al
and body slams him hard to the mat. He grabs the chair and places it on his
butt. He nails a leg drop while the chair is on his butt.
GP-Great move. DBB is in control. He goes over and sets up the table. He
lines it up with the ropes. I think hes about to nail the Bronxplex.
JT-Thats gonna hurt through a table.
GP-He takes Al up to the top rope. He nails him with a knife-edge chop. He
climbs up with him. He picks him up in the superplex position, hes holding
him up there.
Nikki-Look at the power.
GP-WAIT! Al turned it into a cross body block stoping the Da Bronx Bro from
doing the Bronxplex, and DBB goes crashing through the table with Al on top
of him. Al stays on for the cover. One...two...thre, NO! DBB just got his
left shoulder up. Al slaps the canvas.
JT-He looks piss because DBB has kicked out of ever good move he pulled off.
Al slides out the ring and grabs another table from outside. He throws it
over the top rope. He sets it up just like DBB set the other table up. Al
takes DBB and places him on the top turn buckle. Al takes the chair and
places it under the table. Al gives DBB a chop, and hes starting to climb up
to the top with DBB. He turns around and sets up for the Happy Hour.
Nikki-I don't like the look of this. Al starts to fall, and DBB slips out
behind Al, and Al falls face first through the table and hits the chair. Hes
out cold. DBB just walks over to Al and covers him.
Nikki-Three! DBB is the number one contendor for the Pacific Title. And Al
is out cold in a pile of blood. Were gonna have to get some medical
attention for him.
("Ruff Ryders Anthem" by DMX starts blasting as Da Bronx Bro starts walking
to the back.)
[Fade in from promo for next PPV]
GP: Welcome back to IWO's Beach Party 1999 here aboard the U.S.S. Neptune!
What pay per view it has been so far.
JT: Yeah...if you say so. I just wanna see some tear up some ass.
GP: We'll get to that a lot later in the show. But right now we have a debut
match almost read to get underway. This one is between Steve Anderson with
his manager Frank Vitucci and "The King of Extreme" Carlos Perez.
Nikki: They can't be that bad.
GP: We'll soon see. Let's get down to the ring announcer for the
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, focus your eyes on the ring right now
for one of our numerous matches here at Beach Party 99' aboard the U.S.S.
Ring Announcer: And now, coming to the ring at this time, standing 5 feet 11
inches tall, weighing in at 220 pounds, master of The Bomb, accompanied by
his manager Frank Vitucci...here is Steve Anderson!!!!!!!
("Hate Me Now" by Nas blares over the speakers as Anderson makes his way
towards the ring area.)
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, weighing in at 175 pounds, standing 6
feet, 3 inches tall, master of Suicidal Thoughts...here is Carlos Perez!!!!
("Suicidal Thoughts" by Notorious B.I.G. starts playing throughout the arena
as Carlos Perez quickly makes his way down the entranceway.)
JT: These introductions take way too long Greg.
GP: How else are they gonne make this pay per view last for three hours then?
Nikki: I could strip.
GP: Umm...how bout we get down to the ring where the action is about to
(ring a f'n ding)
GP: And we're finally under way. Perez, the lighter weight man, starts off
with a drop kick to the mouth of Anderson. Perez goes up top for a
frogsplash and misses. Both men up and exchanging fists. Still exchanging.
Finally Perez unluckily funds his way into the corner. Anderson with a head
butt, then a knee to the groin. The ref is in there warning about those
cheap shots. Anderson doesn't care. He just throws the ref out of the way
and give another knee to the groin of Perez.
JT: I can hear his future kids crying right now.
Nikki: What makes you think he wants to have kids.
JT: Shut up will you!
GP: Back in the ring and Perez looks like he's recovered because he's pushed
himself out of the corner. He's delivering knife edge chops to the chest of
Anderson. Perez hits the ropes and slides tackles Anderson to the ground.
Now it's just an old fashion wrastlin' match. Almost like between two
brothets. They're both on the mat pulling hair, kicking and screaming.
JT: Someone just end my misery right now. GOD PLEASE!
GP: Both men roll to the outside. Perex goes up top and attempts a
monsault. Cross body block by Anderson and both men hit the ground hard once
again. Anderson up first. He picks up Perez and sends him into the post.
Then the steel steps. And now Anderson is bringing Perez up top with him.
He's got him over his shoulders. He lunges backwards and goes flying into
the spanish announcers table! Perez can't still be a live after that one.
JT: That might have hurt Anderon more than it did Perez. Because it looks
like Perez is the first man up.
GP: But Anderson not far behind. Perez now playing major defense. Blocking
every punch and kick that comes his way. Finally he gets around Anderson and
pulls of a german suplex. They're outside the ring still so no pin can be
made. Perez finally figures it out. He releases the hold and throws
Anderson to the inside. Anderson up quickly and greets Perez on his way in
with a snap suplex over the ropes and into the ring. He's now sending kicks
to the midsection. Perez squirming all over the mat. He finally gets a boot
into Anderson's crotch and Anderson keels over onto the mat.
Nikki: Pay attention.
GP: Perez tries for the pick up but Anderson pulls him to the ground.
Anderson gets Perez in some sort of leg lock. Perez doesn't look to be in
too much pain. He's struggling for the ropes. Anderson trying his hardest
not to let him get there. Perex changes his mind though and flips the hold
over. And how he's got him in his finisher! He;s got him in the Suicidal
Thoughts. He's starting off with the surfboard, and now he's finishing it up
with the dragon sleeper. He's got the hold locked on tight.
JT: There's the tap out!
(ring a f'n ding)
Ring Announcer: Your winner is Carlosss Perezzzzzz!!
JT: Not that bad ad match after all. An exciting ending.
GP: Proved wrong again huh JT?
JT: Do you really wanna be slapped that badly?
Nikki: You asked for it. (smiles at camera)
Extreme Title Match
The Raging One -c- vs. Fusion
GP-Coming up next on this spectacular Pay Per View we have our Extreme Title.
In a match never before thought of int he IWO and maybe in the world. It is
called an Antarctica Match and its sounds very interesting.
JT-Yeah it does maybe some frozen blood too.
Angel-What are the stips for this match again?
GP-The ring is under a dome which has been cooled to -30 degrees Fahrenheit.
The ropes are replaced by Refrigerator metal coils and outside the ring is a
lake of liquid nitrogen. Inside the Ring is a variety of weapons and the ring
is covered in dry ice. The Turnbuckles are electrified and every ten minutes
the dome's tempter is drops 10 degrees.
Angel-Sounds like this will Be an Interesting match we have coming up.
GP-And while they are setting up the dome we have a pre-match promo for it...
Remember Beach Party was brought to you by Kooky Cola!
[fades out from GP, JT, and Angel]
One was born in the Flames...
[Flashes a picture of Fusion on the screen]
One born in insanity...
[picture of The Raging One flashes on the screen]
One a champion...the other a Challenger. In the first IWO Antarctica match
ever they will meet.
[Picture of the Raging One and Fusion covered in blood]
Who will win? Who will fail? What is in store for the extreme title? All will
be decided in the FWL favorite brought to the IWO Beach Party '99... Someone
[scene fades back in to GP, Angel, and JT]
GP-Welcome back folks the Dome is almost over the ring and has been cooled to
a chilling thirty below. There must be a cool breeze coming off of that thing
for the people in the front row. We have camera's stationed in the inside of
the dome since we can't see the action from the outside. So folks at home
will be getting a better view of this then we do. No, we just have to wait
for the wrestlers to get in the ring before it is completely covered.
JT-The Raging One is going to kick Fusion's a$$... he's a Heap Of Monkey
Ring Announcer(RA)-Coming to the ring now weighing two hundred and ninety
pounds. He is the Flame Warrior, the Fire Tamer, the Hell Warrior.....
["It's Electric" by Metallica begins to play and flames shoot up on the ramp
way and by the pool. Fusion steps out from the curtains and makes his way
down the ramp way followed by flames. Fusion climbs into the ring and steps
on some of the dry ice. The crowd is cheering mildly for Fusion]
RA-Now Coming to the Ring he is your current IWO Extreme Champion... Weighing
in also at two hundred and ninety pounds. He is the a force of nature, master
of the pygmies painstick, a legend in his own time he is... Thhheeee
["Bueck Dich" by Rammstien begins to play and the whole crowd is on its feet
cheering and whistling. The camera pans by the fans and see some signs like
"Soul Rage on this D*Ck" and so on. Fireworks and pyrotechnics go off and the
Raging One steps down the aisle with Soul. Around his waist he had the
extreme belt and his was wearing his police type body armor. He drops the
armor in the aisle and continues down with Soul in her green body pain and
nothing else. The Raging One kisses Soul and leaves her on the outside of the
dome as he slides in the ring the dome closes over and the camera switches to
that inside the dome as the bell rings.]
GP-The ship's captain and other concerned officials have just informed
through the head set that the lake of liquid nitrogen is too unsafe to have.
So this match is going to start without.
Angel-That doesn't seem to bother the Raging One and Fusion those to men are
going at it in the ring. Fusion is holding what looks like "the Club"...
JT-You mean the car club?
Angel-Yep and the Raging One has a golf club.
GP-The Raging One (TRO) just made his move for Fusion with a swing aimed for
south of the border. But fusion steps back and... OH MY GOD!!! He just
knocked TRO in the back of the head with that solid steel "Club". Fusion is
walking toward TRO and ... spear tackle by TRO. Fusion is folded over like a
piece of paper and sent crashing to the mat amidst all the dry ice. That must
be cold... TRO wasting no time picks up Fusion by his hair and then scoop
slams him into the mat. TRO picks up a barbed wire wrapped bat and slams it
down into the gut of Fusion. Oh my God...bits of his flesh is sticking to the
bat how gross is that!? TRO tossing the bat away picks up Fusion again and
sends him into those refrigerated metal coils. Fusion crashes into the rods
and then falls to the mat and blue patch of flash frozen skin is covering a
small part of his back. TRO walking up to Fusion... what's that fusion has in
his hands? A BILLY CLUB AND THE RAGING CAN'T SEE IT!! TRO is reaching to pick
Fusion up and he just whacked him in the knee with the club. TRO is down like
Nancy Kerrigan. Fusion has gotten to his feet and is ramming the Billy club
into TRO's windpipe. He's trying to kill him!!
Angel-This isn't going to be a very pretty match...
JT-Pretty doesn't matter as long as Fusion gets his head RIPPED OFF!!!
Angel-Your so immature.
JT-Takes one to know one.
JT-Grow a chest you flat dyke!!!!
Angel-That was one kiss last month I'm over that!! And these puppies are nice
JT-I'll be the judge of that.
Angel-[smacks JT] I don't think so.
GP-Can I get back to announcing the match people?
GP-Fusion with a massive DDT into a huge block of dry ice... TRO's head split
the ice and is split open. The tempter in that dome right now is ten below
zero and TRO's blood is already starting to freeze. Fusion following up the
DDT with a guillotine leg drop. Fusion picks up TRO and tries to send him
into the electrified turnbuckle but TRO reverses it and send Fusion into
them! DID YOU SEE THAT SPARK FUSION JUMPED LIKE TEN FEET INTO THE AIR!! TRO
has found a sledge hammer among the ice and weapons he swings for Fusion's
knee...but thank God fusion rolls out of the way and the hammer is driven
into the ring canvas. TRO's is pulling at the hammer trying to get it free
and he doesn't see Fusion getting to his feet. Fusion with a running start
behind the Raging One and he bulldog's him face first into the electrified
turnbuckle. TRO's is convulsing on the mat and rolling around in the ice.
Fusion picks up a huge block of dry ice and drops it on TRO's knee
JT-Isn't Dry Ice Carbon Dioxide froze?
Angel-Wow JT does have a brain.
JT-I even use it sometimes like right now because as these men fight longer
the dry ice goes straight to a gas and well that dome isn't ventalaiated so...
Angel-They could suffocate in their?
GP-That is one possibilty...
JT-The ref has one nice parka on whats the temp in their now greg?
GP- The temp has drop to a chilling twernty below zero in that dome. It must
be hell for the Raging One and Fusion to be fighting in such harsh
conditions. They are both becoming a more and more sluggish with the passage
of the minutes they sped in their and they even have frost forming in their
hair. Fusion is picking up the Raging One now after he snap suplexed over a
few blocks of dry ice. TRO's face is a sheet of frozen blood but he seems to
be smiling at it. TRO falls into fusion's chest andis biting his nipple.. OH
MY GOD HE HAS JUST SPIT OUT PART OF FUSION'S NIPPLE!!
JT-He learned that one from good ole Mike Tyson.
GP- Fusion is in total shock and the fans are cheering like mad. The Raging
One limping slightly grabs Fusion's neck and delivers a swinging neck
breaker. The Raging One seems to be getting a second wind as he picks up a
chair and slams it over and over again into Fusion's face. I think Fusion's
nose just broke the Raging One with a standing arabian face buster. TRO is
going for the pin..
[Ref counts 1...]
GP-Fusion with his shoulder up...
JT- Damnit Fusion stay down you stupid punk!!
Angel-Shut up I want Fusion to win.
JT- You always pick losers.
Angel-Then I should go out on a date with you shouldn't I?
JT-Funny your just mad you can't ride this bucking bronco.
Angel- Buck this *slaps JT*
JT- Owwww... I like it kinky.
GP- You two shut up!!!
Both- Sorry Greg.
GP- These men must have frostbite by now. The temp inside the dome is at
thity below zero and I don't think it can go any lower. It must be getting
harder to breath in their with all that Co2 in the air like one big traffic
jam. The Raging One picks up Fusion and throws him into the electrified
turnbuckle. Another flow of electricity flows through Fusion and he flies off
the turnbuckle. The Raging One limps over to Fusion and drops an elbow to the
back of his head. Their body's are almost completely blue from being in these
sub freezing temptures for a bout a half an hour now. The Raging One and
Fusion look to be struggling to stay awake with all the Co2 int he air if
this doesn't end soon they both may be dead. The Raging One is now slamming
Fusion face into the frozen canvas and peices of dry ice smearing blood all
over the place. The Raging One picks up Fusion and trys for another
powerbomb...Fusion blocked it... TRO trys again... and he blocks and this
time flings TRO over the back. Fusion drops an elbow on TRO and picks him up.
They both look to be struggling to stay awake in that poisonous envoirment.
Fusion flings TRO into the refrigarated coil and almost break his back with
the force in it. TRO bounces forward and walks into a scoop slam from Fusion.
Fusion drops a knee across the throat of TRO and picks him up again. TRO
gets his head planted by a massive DDT from Fusion. He follows the DDt up
with a few stops to the face and picks TRO up. He looks to be setting up for
his finishing move the Extinction Level Event. HE DID IT HE PLANTED THE
RAGING ONE WITH THE EXTINICTION LEVEL EVENT!!Fusion stumbles on his feet
drunkenly and falls on top of the Raging One. the ref runs over..
[ref counts 1...]
GP- No the Raging One with a shoulder up ...
JT- This isn't fair The Raging One can't use the painstick because the
Angel- Well that dummy made the rules didn't he?
JT- It still isn't fair.
Angel- Why don't you whine about it.
JT- Zip it Angel...
Angel- Why don't you go cry to moomy.
JT- You've got to zip it... zip it good.
Angel- You want a pacifier?
JT-Why don't you go to www.zipit.com
Gp- Both of you shut up!!
Both- Sorry GP
GP both men are out in the ring. They may have passed out from Carbon Dioxid
poisoning the ref is fine though with his oxygen mask and parka. The ref is
lifting both thier arms up and they both drop to the mat... He does it again
and Fusion's stays up and he slowly gets to one knee. The Raging One isn't
moving i think he may have passed out and Fusion is now on his feet. Fusion
is picking up the limp body of the Raging One and.. E.L.E.. Extinction Level
Event!!! Fusion going for the cover... the ref is running over.. WHAT THE
Angel-OH MY GOD A HAND JUST CAME THROUGH THE RING AND PULLED THE REF DOWN
BELOW THE RING!!
JT-There is no ref someone get in thier and help the Raging One!!
Gp-Someone is coming through the hole in the ring they are in a parka and I
can't make out who it is. Fusion is looking around confused and dazed at the
same time. The mysterious man grabs Fusion and throw him into the metal
coils... the mysteru man picks up Fusion and Power bomb right onto a chair.
The mystery man is dragging the Raging ONe on top of Fusion as the ref climbs
out of the hole. The Raging One is laid over Fusion and the ref runs over to
make the count...
JT-He did it the Raging One did it!!!
RA- Winner of this bout and still extreme champion the Raaging One.
["Bueck Dich" by Rammstein begins to play]
GP- EMT's are waiting outside the dome to treat TRO and Fusion for frost bite
and Carbon Dioxide poisoning. I wonder who that mystery guy is maybe we'll
find out as the dome is raiseed.
[Dome raises up and EMT's rush into the ring along with Soul]
GP- The EMT's are wrapping Fusion and the Raging One in blankets and are
giving them some air from a tank. The Raging One seems to be coming to and is
slowly getting to his feet. He looks confused for a second and then hears his
music playing and the fans cheering. The Raging One throws off the blanket
takes on whiff of the air tank and OH MY GOD HE JUST DDTED AN EMT!!! This man
has no respect. He, Soul and the mystery man are leaving the ring Soul
helping the Raging One walk away. Who is the myserty man?
JT- Pay attentin jacka$$ he is taking off the parka now... its...
Angel- FRANK PEREGRINE!! The newcomer to the IWO that the Raging One has
expressed much intrest in came to his aide and saved him from losing the
title. Could this be a new friendship forming?
GP- This has been a great match!!
(Scott Flash is out in the ring. He apparently has his own band!?! He has a
Scott Flash - HELLO OIW!!! Sicne teh IWO decdied that I cuoldn't hvae a
macth here, I deicded that if Ricky Mratin can sing... THEN BY GOD GOOD OL'
SCTOT FLASH CAN SNIG!!!
(The crowd boos.)
Scott Flash - So, witohut futrher ado, I gvie to you... MY BAND!!! Sctot
Flash and the Flahsers!!!
(The crowd boos.)
Scott Flash - We are here to snig my new hit snog... "DONKEY LOVE"!!!
(The crowd boos.)
Scott Flash - Hit it guys!!!
(Music starts playing.)
Scott Flash - I gotta donkey and he goes hee-haw, I gotta donkey and he goes
hee-haw, I gotta donkey and he goes hee-haw... AND I CANT SPELL!!! I CANT
SPELL!!! I SUCK!!! I LIKE DONKEYS!!! I'M IN DONKEY LOVE!!! YEAH!!!
(The crowd has started throwing things into the ring. Just then a tape of
hooked on phonics hits Scott Flash in the head. Flash falls to the mat. The
music stops... His band get up and looks over Scott. They are yelling for
medical help. Just then the letter "D" appears.)
A voice - This portion of Beach Party is brought to you by the letter "D".
It stands for DEATH... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
(The band members pick Flash up. Flash comes to and looks around. He sees
the fans are pisssed. He grabs the microphone.)
Scott Flash - YOU SCUK!!!
(The fans start throwing things again. Just then lightning strikes in the
sky. A voice is heard... OH MY GOD!!! It is the voice of the late Dan Kordic!!!)
Dan Kordic - JOIN US!!!
Scott Flash - What teh fcuk is gonig on?
Dan Kordic - It is your turn to join us!!!
Scott Flash - JOIN OHW!?!
Dan Kordic - US!!!
Scott Flash - WHO THE HELL IS US!?!
Dan Kordic - The "WE SUCK OUT THE ASS BECAUSE WE EITHER A) Can't spell B)
Never Won C) People hate us."
Scott Flash - SORRY SCRAY VIOCE!!! I can spill, I have one, and people luve
Dan Kordic - HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! You dumb bastard!!!
(Lightning strikes down and hits Scott Flash. He starts shaking like crazy.
He gets out of the ring and starts walking off through the crowd shaking. He
heads to the side of the ship.)
Dan Kordic - JOIN US!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!
(Scott Flash looks down into the water. Just then some IWO security guards
walk over with a big bucket of fresh bloody flesh. They throw it into the
Scott Flash - Whats that four?
IWO Security Guard - Just feeding the sharks, why?
Scott Flash - Notihng!!!
(Flash LEAPS into the water. As he does a shark grabs him and rips his body
in half. A cry is heard, but it isn't of Flash because he can't cry since he
is ripped in half. The sharks quickly devour Flash.)
Dan Kordic - HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Welcome my son!!!
(Just then dolphins appear by the side of the ship!!! They are going after
the sharks!!! One of the sharks that have Flash's top half in his mouth is
swimming away rapidly. The dolphins go after him!!! They ram the shark. He
releases Flash's top half and it goes floating up on top of the water. Just
then the shark with Flash's bottom half swallows it whole. The dolphins ram
that shark and send him away. The only thing left from the attack is Flash's
chest to his head. It is just floating there.)
(As we see Flash's top half just float along chants begin. From inside the
ships cargo area appear Fusion and his black knights. They have somebody
with him, he is in a hood, we can't see his face. One of the black knights
have a table. They set the table up. The man is place on the table. Fusion
has a microphone.)
Fusion - They say one man CAN'T change as much as I have and tonight, I take
it one step further. Mr. Dan Kordic, leader of the "WE SUCK OUT THE ASS
BECAUSE WE EITHER A) Can't spell B) Never Won C) People hate us." I offer
you a sacrifice!!! You get TWO fallen jobbers here tonight to add to your
(Lightning strikes the sky again and Kordic speaks.)
Dan Kordic - FUSION!!! You've brought a smile to my face!!! A smile that
will bring you long lasting pleasure!!!
Fusion - I don't want pleasure I just want to kill this mofo.
Dan Kordic - HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Then so be it Fusion. You have chosen your
faith. I will not swerve you in anyway... LET IT BE DONE!!!
(The hood is taken off of the man. OH MY GOD!!! It is the... MAGICIAN!!! He
is being tied down to the table. He is struggling to get free. Fusion pulls
out a sword!!!)
Fusion - You wanted to be a magician... Lets see you get your way out of
Dan Kordic - HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
(Fusion pulls the sword up over his head... HE BRINGS IT DOWN!!! SICK!!! OH
MY GOD!!! HE JUST CHOPPED THE MAGICIAN RIGHT IN HALF!!! The Magician HAS
BEEN CUT IN HALF!!! OH MY GOD!!! HIS LOWER HALF IS FLOATING!!! IT IS GOING
DOWN INTO THE WATER!??! IT HAS CONNECTED TO SCOTT FLASH'S UPPER HALF!!! THEY
HAVE JOINED AS ONE!!!)
Fusion - OH MY GOD!!! IT IS... IT IS... Scott The Magician!!!
(Scott The Magician is floating above the boat. He begins to speak.)
Scott The Magician - YOU HAVE BANISHED ME TO HELL!!! I WILL NOW DESTROY YOU
(A large ball of fire forms over Scott the Magician's head. He points his
finger right at Fusion. He releases the ball of fire. It goes FLYING down at
Fusion. Fear comes over Fusion. He can't move. Just then the ball stops...
And we realize that Scott Flash and The Magician have both been fired and
will never be back in the IWO again. They are now with Dan Kordic in his
jobber hell. We wish them the best of luck... WELL.. Not really, but it was
the thought that counts. We apologize for the graphic actions taken in this
part and the last part of the PPV. If anyone was offended please accept our
apology and just go on with your life. To those of you that thought this was
funny, RIGHT ON DUDEZ!!! To those of you that thought it was just a waste of
space and shouldn't have been done... WHERE'S THE LOVE MAN!?! WHERE'S THE
GP - Well fans, we have A LOT more here to come at Beach Party. Things are
going to get even crazier!!!
JT - And that's possible... HOW!?!
Nikki - What has this world come to?
GP - Apparently... I don't know Nikki, I just don't know...
TV Title Match
7-Way Dance of Death
High Flyer -c- vs. Justin Shack vs. Al Coholic vs. Jax Stone vs. Fugite vs. CyberCyclone vs. Tony Davis
GP: WE ARE LIVE ON THE U.S.S NEPTUNE!!!
JT: Yeah... fun fun. Where are all the babes?
Nikki: Right here JT!
JT: Hahaha... that's funny!
JT: The fact that you just called yourself a babe!
JT: Wow... that was nice reaction time.
Nikki: Thank you!
JT: It wasn't really a compliment.
GP: You two! Your nothing but trouble!
JT: Trouble is my middle name.
GP: NO! There will be no more Austin Powers quotes!
JT: Hey baby... want to get in the back and shag?
JT: HAHA! I'm shagadellic! Go me!
GP: Anyone else notice how the boat goes up and down? Up
and down... up and down.
JT: That's what it's supposed to do Greg.
GP: Up... and down. Up... and down. Oh....ugh.....
Nikki: Your looking a little under the collar.
GP: It's nothing! I'll be.... ugh.... fine... let's get to
JT: HEY! THAT'S MY PINA COLADA!
Nikki: Sorry.... I just took a sip.
JT: But now my drink has cooties in it! WHY?!?
Nikki: You can always order another one.
GP: Can we please get on with the show?
JT: NO! Not till I get another Pina Colada!
GP: FINE! COULD SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS MAN A PINA
[A man with a great big Sombreoro and a shirt that says,
"Taco Bob" hands JT a Pina Colada.]
GP: Thank you... now can we get on with the show?
JT: No... I have to pee!
GP: YOU CAN HOLD IT!!!
JT: No I can't.... I really have to go!
GP: No... you don't.
JT: Yes I do... I really, really, really have to go.
GP: Fine... please hurry.
[JT gets up and leaves.]
Nikki: Isn't that kind of unprofessional.
GP: Since when was JT ever professional?
Nikki: Good point...
GP: Oh come on... these people want a televison title match
now. I can't believe this. We're going on with JT or not!
Nikki: Can we do that?
GP: Of course... somebody give the announcer a mic.
[The man with the large hat and the shirt that reads, "Taco
Bob" hands the announcer a microphone. WHAT IS THIS?!? It
is no mere ordinary microphone, it is dressed the same as
the person handing it.]
Announcer: Mmmm... I could go for a taco right now....
what? This thing is on? Opps...
[Crowd laughs at the silly Announcer.]
Announcer: First introducing... he is the current
Television champion, he stands 6'0", and weighs in at 217
lbs. HE IS HIGH FLYER!!!
["Americana" by Offspring plays as High Flyer makes his way
to the ring.]
Announcer: Second introducing... wait... that isn't good
english. Now introducing... he stands 6'1", and weighs 247
pounds, HE IS JUSTIN SHACK!!!
["Livin La Vita Loca" by Ricky Martin plays as Justin Shack
makes his way to the ring.]
Announcer: The next member of this little battle... he is a
drunkard, he stands 6'7", and weighs in at 247 lbs. HE IS
["Got the Life" by Korn plays as Al Coholic makes his way
to the ring.]
Announcer: And now introducing... he is the "Eliminator",
he stands 6'6", and weighs in at 255 lbs. HE IS JAX
["Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie plays as Jax Stone makes
his way to the ring.]
Announcer: And the next guy... he stands 6'8", the tallest
member of this match, and weighs in at 289 pounds. HE IS
["Time" by Pink Floyd plays as Fugite makes his way down to
Announcer: Now introducing... he stands 6'6", and weighs in
at 274 and one fourth pounds. HE IS TONY DAVIS!!!
["The Unforgiven II" by Metallica plays as Tony Davis makes
his way to the ring.]
Announcer: And last... but not least... he stands 6'7", and
weighs in at 267 pounds. HE IS CYBERCYCLONE!!!
["In Bloom" by Nirvana plays as CyberCyclone makes his way
down to the ring.]
GP: WHEW! THAT WAS A LOT OF INTRODUCING!
Nikki: And JT is making his way back to the announcing
GP: Nothing to be excited about. I must remind everyone at
home that this match is elimination style, you get pinned
or submit, and your out. So all the men are in the ring,
and they are going to get this thing started. Al goes right
after the champ, and
lands a huge right hand. High Flyer goes to the mat with a
resounding thud. Tony Davis and CyberCyclone start brawling
in one of the corners, and Jax and Justin are grappling
each other. Fugite is up on the top rope... MISSLE DROP
KICK! He brought that
right into Stone's head! Then Fugite delivers a quick
clothesline to Shack! Wait... Davis with a double fisted
Axe Handle Smash from behind. This is just a huge
massacere. It's hard to tell what's going on... High Flyer
is up on the top rope... Fying
Clothesline right at Al's neck!
JT: I'M BACK!
Nikki: Good for you...
GP: High Flyer brings Al back up, and deliever a belly to
belly suplex. Meanwhile, Fugite has Shack on his feet. DDT
by Fugite! This match is starting to become vicous!
Nikki: Your telling me!
GP: What is this? OH MY! Tony Davis has Al Coholic... AND
HE JUST KICKED HIS A**!!!
JT: With a great resounding thud! HAHA!!
GP: Davis makes a cover on Al... AND FLYER MAKES THE SAVE!
Nikki: Helping out his friend... even though they are
pitted against each other here.
JT: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
Nikki: It is? It's a barbaric sport!
JT: EXACTLY! WE WANT BLOOD!!!
GP: Now Shack has somehow locked up with Fugite. He takes
the advantage, and delivers a double underhook suplex. Nice
manuever by Shack. Back in the brawl, Flyer has managed to
slap a half crab on Davis. CyberCylone and Jax Stone are
having a little tiff.
.. OH NO!!! CYBER WITH A DEATH VALLY DRIVER! He drilled
that one, and Stone has got to be in pain.
Nikki: That was brutal... he could have busted through the
JT: Naturally, you would have.
Nikki: Why is that?
JT: Ummm... because... your fat.
GP: Your not going to hit him?
Nikki: No... I was just waiting for him to let his guard
JT: See... now Fugite has recovered from that Suplex and
his beating on Shack. He is saying, I am bigger than you.
I'm higher on the food chain. GET IN MY BELLY!!!
Nikki: He said all that, eh?
JT: Yeah... I can read lips.
GP: Al Coholic just recieved Lost Time! Fugite is going for
the cover, 1... 2... Shack is going to make the save. NO!
Fugite with a low blow to Shack while keeping Al pinned...
AL IS OUT!
Eliminated: Al Coholic
He's our first one out... and now Fugite has Shack. LOST
is making the cover once again... 1...2...3!!! SHACK IS
Eliminated: Al Coholic
["Sad But True" by Metallica begins to play over the ships
weak P.A. system. All the lights on the ship shift to a
JT: Oh boy... we all know what this means.
GP: Why yes... yes we do.
[?¿? makes his way down to the ring.]
GP: IT'S ?¿?!!! HE WALKS UP TO DAVIS! MYSTERY DEATH
DRIVER!!! MYSTERY DEATH DRIVER!!! High Flyer out of nowhere
with the pin. 1...2...3! TONY DAVIS IS OUT!
Eliminated: Al Coholic
GP: High Flyer is on fire. He gets up on the ropes...
SPRING BOARD TORNADO DOUBLE ARM DDT!!! HE JUST DRILLED
FUGITE INTO THE MAT! WHAT A MOVE BY HIGH FLYER! He makes
the cover... 1...2...3! Fugite is out!
Eliminated: Al Coholic
JT: Whew... High Flyer is on a roll!
GP: Wow... Jax Stone has CyberCyclone... ELIMINATION!!!
Nikki: AND HIGH FLYER IS UP ON THE TOP ROPE! FLYING MOON
GP: He stays on for the cover... 1... 2... 3! CC IS OUT!!!
Eliminated: Al Coholic
GP: Hey... it's the two partners. They have both made it
all the way to the end of the match. WAIT! Jax Stone decks
High Flyer with a right hand. High Flyer kips back up...
LIGHTNING FAST DDT!
JT: Holy... that has to be one of the quickest moves I have
ever seen pulled off. What am I saying?!? IT SUCKED!!!
Nikki: HIGH FLYER IS GOING TO THE TOP!
GP: FLYING MOON SHOT!!! IT'S ALL OVER!
Nikki: High Flyer retains his championship!
IWO US Title Match
Chris Anthony -c- vs RaynMan w/MasterMage
GP: Wow...what an event this has been tonight ladies and gentlemen...and for
our next match we've got the IWO United States title up for grabs between
United States Champion Chris Anthony and the challenger RaynMan. Here we go,
the men are begining to show up.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...this next bout is scheduled for one fall
with falls count anywhere rules applying and is for the IWO United States
Heavyweight title! introducing first...the challenger he is the master of the
Raycannranna, at 5'11", 200lbs and being lead to the ring by Master
mage..ladies and gentlemen....RAYNMAN!
::"Breathe" by Prodigy plays as Master Mage leads RaynMan to the ring and
JT: Hey whats goin on here?
Nikki: It looks like the referee is telling Master Mage to leave ringside.
GP: That is exactly what is happening and Master Mage doesn't seem to
thrilled about it. But he'll get over it quickly as he walks off into one of
the corridors of this giant ship.
Announcer: And his opponent...the current IWO United States heavyweight
champion! He stands in at 6'2" and weighing in at 235 lbs...the master of the
CA's Wild Ride....here is CHRIS ANTHONY!
::"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns n' Roses plays and Chris Anthony, belt in
hand makes his way to the ring.::
GP: Okay folks the referee rings the bell and this baby is under way. We
start off the match with the two men circling eachother. Anthony and RaynMan
both walk back and fourth and you can see it in their eyes that they have
come to fight. And the first blow is sent in by RaynMan as leaps forward with
a slug to Anthonys face. Wow! Anthony took that one right to the jaw and
HARD! He's laying on the mat trying to gather his wits, but doesn't seem to
be able to. RaynMan immidiatley on the job runs to the ropes, bouncing off he
drops into a DROP KICK TO THE CHEST of Chris Anthony! That knocked Anthony
entirely down! MAN!
Nikki: Oh...my chest hurts just thinking about that!
JT: Ya know I could make quite a comment on that right now, but I'm not going
Nikki: Oh shut up!
GP: RaynMan lifts Anthony up and into a body slam into the mat! This match
thus far has been a normal match...do you see this one going any farther JT?
JT: Nah! These two both seem to want to keep it local....well I don't know
about Anthony, maybe if weiner boy would put up a fight this might go into
the bouls of the ship.
GP: And now...RaynMan picking Chris Anthony up once again but recieves an
upper cut for his troubles! OUCH! RaynMan flies backwards and rolls out of
the ring. He's layin poolside now folks.
Nikki: Oh boy wet hotties! Please! Please let them fall in the pool!
JT: I swear...thats all that she can think about...little hussy.
Nikki: Oh...no you didn't.
JT: Oh....yes I did. What are you gonna do about it corner wh*re?
*SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK*
Nikki: That good enough for you?
GP: Oh boy....anyway back to the match at hand ladies and gentlemen we now
have Chris Anthony and RaynMan duking it out on the outside right near the
pool. RaynMan with a right! Anthony with a left. Right! Left! Right! Left!
Now Anthony with a stomach shot which keels RaynMan over enough for Anthony
to DDT HIM! RaynMan is down grasping his face! That had to hurt! And now
right back onto the attack is Anthony! Stomping unmercifully onto RaynMan!
But RaynMan grabs his foot and springs back and KNOCKS ANTHONY INTO THE POOL!
JT: I knew someone was gonna take a dive. I just knew it.
GP: Whats this? Anthony is floating in the water! RaynMan is going onto the
diving board! He leaps off into a CANOPENER ONTO ANTHONY! He drove his foot
like a dagger into Anthonys ribcage! Oh! Anthony is squirming in the water
and RaynMan gets back out and leaps on top of him again! What a wild match
this has already turned out to be! But wait! Anthony has grabbed RaynMan! Hes
bashing him with headbutts! RaynMan is dazed! And Chris Anthony is climbing
out of the water soaked and hunched from the rib cage shot. Anthony is
walking off...he's going into the audience!!! RaynMan is coming to! He sees
Anthony and begins following him! They make their way through the audience!
And RaynMan has caught Chris Anthony!
JT: Kick his @$$ RaynMan!
Nikki: I don't know...it looks more like the other way around JT.
JT: Yeah rub it in why don't ya Miss Piggy!
Nikki: Don't make me beat you up again.
JT: Sorry mam...
Nikki: Thats what I thought.
JT: Would you like a nice cool beverage mam?
Nikki: Yes please.
GP: Oh you two! Watch the match! RaynMan has got Chris Anthony by the hair
and is ramming him head first into a table near one of the food courts on
this ship! Anthony has some kind of fruit salad in his hair! But wait!
RaynMan flings Anthony over the food counter where orders are taken! And he
follows him over! Anthony has a PINEAPPLE! BANG! HE SMASHED IT OVER RAYNMANS
JT: Quite a splitting headache huh?
Nikki: Okay I'll give you that one...that was kinda funny.
GP: RaynMans face has just been slammed onto the grill! OH MY GOD! His
forehead is burned! That has to be atleast third degree burns! Raynman has to
be in extreme pain! But he is fighting back! He just flung Anthony onto the
grill! On his butt! Oh thats a killer! Anthony is screaming out loud! Dear
god! This is brutal! RaynMan has sausage links! Hes using them like
nunchucks! HAHA! He's bashing Anthony on the head with them!
JT: Can we say Ninja Turtles?
Nikki: Ninja Turtles! Yes we can!
JT: Ditzy b*tch I didn't mean literally!
GP: Chris Anthony has swayed the odds! He has grabbed a Mustard bottle! He
squirted it in RaynMans eyes! Oh my! RaynMan is yelling from the mustard
burning his eyes!
JT: Must be spicey golden mustard huh?
Nikki: Or maybe some of that honey mustard stuff.
JT: Yeah maybe.
Nikki: now I'm hungry.
GP: Oy! Well back to action we've now got Chris Anthony pulling RaynMan out
of the food court! They're heading to the end of the ship! To the basket ball
hoops! Anthony Just grabbed some little kids basketball and bashed RaynMan on
the head with it!
JT: Well he shoulda thought faster. Needs to work on the reflexes. Hows his
team ever gonna make it to the playoffs like that?
Nikki: this isn't NBA this is IWO JT.
GP: Chris Anthony is now stomping on RaynMan. He drags RaynMan underneath the
hoop, jumps up and grabs onto the hoop. He's swinging his legs and DROPS ON
TOP OF RAYNMAN! This is hard wood surface people! That could mess botht he
men up! And I think it has because they are both laying on the surface in
JT: C'mon wuss boys Nikki and I could take more than that!
Nikki: Oh shut up they're putting on a great show for the fans!
JT: I'd be more interested in watching the Bob Dole Viagra commercial!
Nikki: SHUT UP!
GP: RaynMan now coming to, pulls himself up by the wall and falls into an
elbow drop on Anthony who was just now getting up. Both men down again.
Anthony rolls onto his back and RaynMan goes for a pin. 1....2....kick out
by Anthony..he just isn't ready to give up yet!
JT: Woo friggin hoo.
GP: Now both men come to their feet. RaynMan and Chris Anthony are slugging
away again! They make another turn and are heading back toward the ring but
from the other side of the ship! Now Chris Anthony with the upper hand! He's
smashing his fists into RaynMans face! RaynMan is going up a set of stairs to
the dance club in one of the upper regions! Oh my god!
JT: Hey they're playing that "Living La Vida Loca" song.
Nikki: Ricky martin...yet another hotty.
GP: And now fighting their ways through all of the dancing folks Chris
Anthony spears into RaynMan and they slam hard into the dance floor. RaynMan
wraps his legs around Anthony and begins to pummel him with elbows, forearms
and headbutts. Anthony is doing the same! THESE TWO MEN ARE GOING AT IT
JT: YES! MAYBE WE"LL GET BLOOD!
GP: Ask and yee shall recieve JT! RaynMans mouth has been laserated! His
lower lip is gushing blood! Wow this is getting crazy! Now both men are up,
Chris Anthony with a scissor kick to RaynMan which takes him for a flip into
the hard dancefloor. Anthony picks Raynman up and a DROP KICK! RaynMan is
flying backwards and OH MY GOD! RAYNMAN WENT THROUGH THE GIANT WINDOW! THE
WINDOW TO WATCH THE SWIMMERS FROM! RAYNMAN HAS BEEN SENT THROUGH IT! HE'S
FALLING ATLEAST 50 FEET AND SMASH INTO THE POOL! RAYNMAN IS OUT COLD!
JT: OH H*LL YEAH!
Nikki: Oh no! Is he okay?
GP: Chris Anthony is making his way through the fans toward the pool! He's
pulling RaynMans limp body from the pool and dragging him toward the ring.
He's lifting him up and throws him into the ring with a Guerrilla Press Slam.
RaynMan is out folks! Out like a light! Anthony isn't going for a pin?
JT: Huh? What an idiot!
GP: Wait...ladies and gentlemen Chris Anthony is grabbing the United States
title...he's got a microphone and he is getting into the ring now. Lets
Chris Anthony: I want you all to listen and listen good. You all know what
caliber of wrestler I am. I am a superstar! I am where it's at, and you know
it! Then why the hell do I have this piece of crap on my shoulder? I don't
need this belt. The only belt I need is the World Title, and that's what I'm
going after from here on out. So RaynMan, today is your lucky day. Here you
go: the United States Title on a platter. Oh, and to all my fans out there
who desperately want to see me kick some ass, I won't disappoint you. This
isn't the last you'll see of me tonight.
JT: No sh*t?
Nikki: Wha? Why'd he do that?
JT: I told ya...what a moron!
GP: Chris Anthony is dropping the belt onto RaynMans chest! RaynMan has not
moved a muscle! He is out cold folks! We're gonna have to get him some help
out there! The ref is yelling at Anthony but Anthony is not paing attention
to him as he walks off through the crowd and here is the official word from
the ring announcer.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen...Chris Anthony, by leaving this match and by
his own choice has forfeited this match...and the United States Heavyweight
championship. Therefore...from that result...your winner....AND NEW IWO
UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...RAAAAAAAYNMAAAAAAAAN!!!
GP: THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! A NEW IWO US CHAMPION!
JT: But What did Anthony mean by what he said?
NikkI: Psh? Duh?
GP: We'll have to wait and see folks.
Pacific Title Match
?¿? -c- v. Ken War
GP - This one is going to be HUGE... These two have put on a show all month
long. This match is going to blow this ship out of the water. The Pacific
title may not be the World Title but what these two have done, they both
deserve the reckognition.
JT - Ken War is a former IWO World Champion. He knows what being a Main
Event star is all about. And tonight he is facing a guy that has only found
World gold in the FWL, not the IWO. I know ?¿? is thinking he has the
advantage. But I really don't see how he does.
Nikki - ?¿? is always the man expected to win in every match he goes in to.
He has that big of a reputation. But tonight, I don't see how he can be
favored. Ken War has proven in the past that he is VERY extreme. I don't
think ?¿? is going to be able to have his way with him.
GP - Nobody said that The Mysterious One was going to handle Ken War. We all
know that this match will be a WAR. And with it being a WAR we know it
favors Ken War. But there is no escape. This is a ship!!! You can't run and
hide. Now is the time to put up or shut up!!!
JT - I've been hearing rumors all day that Tony Davis is going to be
involved in this match. I know Davis has been getting in ?¿?'s business a
lot, but remember what happened earlier tonight. And I'm sure Davis is
really pissed about that one.
Nikki - Without a doubt... People in the back have been saying that Tony
Davis has been looking for ?¿? ever since that incident earlier. I think
Davis has biten off more than he can chew. He knows that The Mysterious One
will NOT back away from his challenge. Things should be getting interesting
as this match moves on.
GP - I was thinking that another celebrity would come out here and be the
ring announcer for this match but I guess I was wrong. Many of the
celebrities here are just along for the ride I guess.
Nikki - They are here to see the IWO action!!!
JT - Yeah, and they were PAID to be here as well. Hell, if someone offered
me money to go aboard a big ship to watch... CRICKET... Hell, I would do it.
GP - I think you would do anything for money JT.
JT - Just about... Except... Well, you're right!!!
Nikki - Is the ring announcer ready yet because I think this conversation is
turning into something bad...
GP - I think you are right Nikki.
(The ring announcer is in the ring with his microphone. JUST his microphone,
nothing else but that slim, sexy, oh my... MICROPHONE!!!)
GP - Wait, we are being told that there WILL BE a special guest announcer
for the rest of the night!!!
JT - Who is it!?!
Ring Announcer - At this point in time I'd like to bring out... THE VIETNAM
(The Vietnam Veteran, Katie, and Dr. Roberts come walking out. The crowd is
GP - LOOK WHO IS BACK!!!
Nikki - AMAZING!!!
(They get into the ring, waving to the fans. They get out of the ring and
goes over to the announcers' table. The Vet puts on a head set. They all
three sit down.)
GP - Welcome to the announcers table Veteran!!! How have you been!?!
Vietnam Veteran - It has been a LONG time since I've been at an IWO event.
JT - A whole month, wow... That's not a LONG time. Go figure.
Vietnam Veteran - JT, smartass as usual. That's good, I guess.
Nikki - Well, I think it is time to bring out the combatants for the Pacific
Ring Announcer - This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the IWO
(The crowd is ready.)
The Vietnam Veteran - This match has caught my eye. I have feuded with both
of these guys and it is only right that I am out here to watch this thing go
JT - You should be the special guest ref or something.
The Vietnam Veteran - I wouldn't want to take those two out before the match
even started JT. I know I would as much anger as they have caused me...
GP - Sounds interesting. Can you stay out here without messing this match up???
The Vietnam Veteran - I can do that. I am a man of my word and I promise
Katie that I wouldn't get involved. I can't say the same for Tony Davis
though. I've heard some rumblings in the back and boy is he looking to get
his hands around ?¿?'s neck.
Nikki - I don't know what Tony Davis has against ?¿?, but I think it dates
back to the FWL days. Davis want ?¿? and ?¿? doesn't even give him the time
The Vietnam Veteran - I don't think he will be able to help it. Especially
here tonight on this ship. Davis WILL get to him.
("Kiss my Ass" by Ted Nugent begins to play. The fans start booing immediately.)
Ring Announcer - Introducing first!!!
(Ken War makes his way out. The crowd is really booing now.)
Ring Announcer - He stands six foot five.. He weighs in at two hunred and
seventy pounds... He is a former IWO World Champion, IWO North American
Champion, IWO Extreme Champion, IWO United States Champion, and IWO
Television Champion. Tonight... If he defeats The Mysterious One he will be
the first wrestler in IWO history to hold every singles title!!! Here is...
(Ken War is getting into the ring.)
GP - He has one of the best track records in the IWO. Nobody can say they
have come close to what War has done. Not even his opponent here tonight,
Joey Rappoport, Zombie, Titan... No one...
The Vietnam Veteran - Oh, I give him all the credit in the world.. But I
still hate his attitude. He is everything that is wrong with this country
today and that's why I went after his ass.
JT - Ken War is one of the best in the IWO today. I think The Mysterious One
is going to piss his pants when he realizes what he has gotten himself into...
(War is in the ring.)
Ring Announcer - And now... THE CHAMPION!!!
("Sad but True" by Metallica begins to play. The crowd erupts.)
Ring Announcer - He stands six foot five... He weighs in at two hundred and
eighty five pounds... His signature move, The Mystery Death Driver is feared
by every wrestler in the IWO today... He is one of the greatest FWL
Champions of all time and tonight he defends his first IWO title... The
Pacific Title... Here he is... The Mysterious One... ?¿?!!!
(?¿? comes walking out. The crowd is going crazy.)
The Vietnam Veteran - I don't see what the fans see in this guy. He is not
what they think he is. I've faced him before. He is a worthy opponent, but I
know more about him than they do.
JT - You should go kick his ass!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - Don't try to start shit JT.
GP - Watch that language man...
The Vietnam Veteran - That's cool.. I'm sorry...
***the bell sounds***
Ken War and ?¿? are looking each other over. Ken War starts laughing. He
gets up in the Mysterious One's face. He shoves him back. ?¿? fires back
with a push of his own. Ken War shrugs it off and goes out of the ring. He
is walking around ringside jawing with the fans. ?¿? is waiting patiently in
the ring. The ref is telling Ken War to get back in the ring.
The Vietnam Veteran - See, this is what I'm talking about. He is like this
for some reason. He has the ability to be a star but he takes the easy way
out so much. I would be in the ring right now fighting it out with The
Mysterious One. I wouldn't be hiding at ringside.
JT - He isn't hiding. You can clearly see him. I know ?¿? can see him. Come
on Vet, you can do better than that.
GP - JT, if Ken War isn't scared, why isn't he just in the ring fighting him
man to man!?!
JT - He isn't stupid. He has a mind. He knows what he is doing.
Nikki - Yeah, he is running...
Ken War is looking around the ring area. He grabs a chair and throws it into
the ring. It lands right at the feet of the ref. The ref is yelling at War.
War flips the ref off. ?¿? has seen enough. He grabs the chair and heads
after Ken War. War sees this and heads over the guardrail through the fans.
The Mysterious One goes right after him with the chair in his hand. Ken War
is shoving fans aside as he heads through the crowd. People are yelling at
War but cheering ?¿? on. Ken War makes it through the crowd and opens up the
door to the passenger quarters on the ship. He heads inside and slams the
door shut and locks it. ?¿? can not get in. ?¿? gets to the door and starts
slamming the chair against it.
The Vietnam Veteran - SEE!!! JT, he is hiding from him!!! Why else would you
go into a place and LOCK THE DOOR!!!
JT - Just keep watching, War isn't scared of anything.
GP - Besides what you two are saying, how in the world can you call this
action... I mean, THERE IS NO ACTION YET!!!
Nikki - I know... They haven't even done a wrestling move yet...
Luckily we do have cameras inside the passengers quarters. We see Ken War
standing right in front of that locked door. He is laughing as ?¿? continues
to bang on the door. Just then another door opens and out runs Chris
Anthony. He has what looks to be a lead pipe in his hand. He nails Ken War
in the knee with it. War goes down. Just as he does, Anthony yells out, "you
really thought you could get rid of me!?!". Anthony grabs War by the leg and
slams his leg against the wall. ?¿? has no clue what's going on. He is still
trying to get into the door.
GP - Ken War is being assualted by Chris Anthony. This could be giving ?¿?
this match on a platter. Ken War can't take this for much longer.
The Vietnam Veteran - You are right Greg. When a man's leg goes out, there
is nothing he can do but get beat. Especially in wrestling.
JT - Now this ruins War's plan!!!
Nikki - What exactly was War's plan!?!
JT - I DON'T KNOW!!!
Anthony continues pounding away on War's leg. War is yelling out in pain.
?¿? can hear the screams now and is yelling at someone to open the door.
Just then from out of nowhere with a chain appears Tony Davis. He nails ?¿?
in the back of the head with the chain. ?¿? goes down!!! Tony Davis is now
slamming the chain down across the back of the Mysterious One.
GP - This is totally insane. The match between War and ?¿? really hasn't
even started yet. They have not had any kind of physical contact other than
a push or two. This is stupid. Davis and Anthony are going to ruin this match!!!
JT - HAHAHHA!!! This is great Greg. Those two are getting just what they
deserve. And you know what makes it even better? Chris Anthony and Tony
Davis are in the same stable and yet they probably don't even know the other
is out here!!!
Nikki - Oh yes, this is real funny JT. Ken War and ?¿? may not be able to
walk after this match. There is NOTHING funny about that.
JT - YES THERE IS!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - This is stupid...
(Back inside the ship.)
Chris Anthony has some barbed wire and has wrapped it around the neck of Ken
War. Blood is coming from the side of War's neck. War is still yelling out
in pain. Chris Anthony lets go of the barbed wire. He gets up and heads into
a passengers cabin. He comes back out with a broomstick. He nails Ken War in
the side of the head. War looks to be out cold. Anthony swings the
broomstick and drives it into War's leg. Anthony yells at War to get up. War
doesn't move at all.
GP - This doesn't look good. Chris Anthony has done a number on Ken War. He
won't be able to start this match with ?¿?.
JT - So you are telling me that ?¿?, The Mysterious Freak, is going to win
GP - That's what I'm saying.
JT - NO!!!
Nikki - Look at what Davis is doing to ?¿?, I don't think neither man will
be able to start this match.
Davis now has the chain wrapped around the neck of ?¿?. He is dragging him
over the ship. He is taking him to the side of the ship!?!
GP - OH GOD NO!!!
JT - DO IT!!! HANG THE BASTARD!!!
Nikki - JT!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - Such violence acts... If I were Davis I wouldn't do
Davis has ?¿? right at the side of the ship. He starts stomping on him. He
looks down in the waters below and we see sharks licking their chops waiting
for their chance to sink their teeth into a nice big Mysterious One Steak.
Davis points down to the water and yells out, "This is how it ends!!"
GP - NO!!!
Nikki - Dear god someone save him!!!
JT - KILL THE BASTARD!!!
Davis is just about to send ?¿? over the side of the ship. NO!!! FROM OUT OF
NOWHERE APPEARS... DARK DEMON!!! HE SHOVES DAVIS!!! DAVIS GOES FLYING OFF
THE SIDE OF THE SHIP!!!
GP - NO!!!
JT - NOT DAVIS!!!
Nikki - He got his!!!
Dark Demon looks down. He extends his hand. ?¿? looks up. He reaches out for
Dark Demon. He grabs his hand.
JT - HIT HIM!!!
Dark Demon helps The Mysterious One up. They shake hands. Dark Demon nods
his head and walks away. ?¿? slowly walks back over to the door. Tony Davis
is nowhere to be seen.
GP - What if Davis is dead...
JT - This isn't fair!!!
Nikki - But you said it was fair when Davis did it to ?¿?!!!
JT - Well hell, it was!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - Nothing like this is fair...
GP - What has happened to Tony Davis??? This is serious. Someone needs to
come out here and see what's going on!!
?¿? is banging on the door. On the inside, Chris Anthony is still driving
the broomstick into the stomach of Ken War. From behind, Stealth nails Chris
Anthony with a 2x4. Anthony goes down to the floor. He looks down at Anthony
and spits on him. He looks over at War and spits on him. He hears ?¿?
banging on the door. He walks over and opens it. ?¿? looks down and sees
what has happened. He looks up at Stealth and sees him holding the 2x4. He
thinks he took War out and he is pissed!!! He lunges at Stealth sending him
down to the floor. He grabs the 2x4 and smacks him in the face with it.
JT - As much as I hate ?¿?, that's what the damn rookie gets for sticking
his nose in business that has no concern to him.
GP - Stealth was just trying to get Chris Anthony off of Ken War. Ken War
may be out cold. I don't think this match can go on.
Nikki - I don't either. We need to get him some help.
?¿? gets off of Stealth. He looks over at Ken War and shakes his head. He
grabs Ken War and starts dragging him back toward the ring. OH MY GOD!!!
FROM THE SIDE OF THE SHIP!!! IT IS TONY DAVIS!!! HE HAS A DAMN HARPOON
SPEAR!!! HE IS RUNNING RIGHT FOR ?¿?!!!
Nikki - NO!!!
JT - YES!!!
GP - NO!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - All interference. No clean wrestling action. A sad day
for the IWO.
?¿? moves out of the way and... oh... my... god... HE HIT A MEMBER 98
DEGREES!!! THE BOY IS DOWN!!! Davis is in total shock!!! He is yelling for
GP - This is wrong... No... This shouldn't have happened.
JT - Damn celebrities just get in the way. This is funny as hell, oh wait,
no, I'm a company man, this is a SAD SAD DAY here in the IWO.
Nikki - And he was my favorite member!!!
JT - HAHAHAHHAHA!!!
?¿? sees Davis is distracted. He grabs him from behind and slings him into
the door they just came out. The door opens and Davis falls back into the
area where Anthony, War, and Stealth. He falls over them and hits the ground
and... OH MY GOD!!! KEN WAR IS UP!!! HE IS BEHIND ?¿?!!!
GP - How the hell is he up!?!
JT - MAGIC!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - He is VERY tough.
?¿? turns around... Ken War kicks him in the stomach... STUNNER!!!
STUNNER!!! ?¿? is down!!! Ken War makes the cover... A ref comes from out of
nowhere...1...2... NO!!! ?¿? gets his shoulder up...
JT - He just kicked out of the Ken War Stunner!!!
GP - HA!!!
Ken War can't believe it!!! War looks hurt. Our cameras catch Tony Davis
trying to get up. Just then out of nowhere appears Dark Demon. He grabs
Davis. Davis starts screaming. He runs out and runs across the deck. He
tosses Davis off the ship AGAIN!!! Dark Demon laughs and walks away. Ken War
and ?¿? are both up. They are in a stare down!!!
GP - Finally this match might actually start!!!
Nikki - I know. This is just great. We finally get to see a classic Pacific
JT - A classic Ken War win is what we will be seeing Nikki, you know that,
and everyone knows that.
Ken War and ?¿? are brawling back to the ring. The fans are cheering them on
as they get closer. ?¿? throws Ken War over the guardrail.
GP - Things are picking up now!!!
Ken War and ?¿? are back in the ring. Ken War sends ?¿? into the ropes, he
comes back, he ducks a clothesline. ?¿? keeps running. He comes back and
centers a dropkick right on the jaw of Ken War. Ken War goes down to the
mat. ?¿? picks him up, he slams him back down to the mat. ?¿? drops a quick
elbow and goes for a cover. The ref makes the count...1...NOPE, Ken War
makes the kick out just at ONE!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - Finally something that is respectable. I appreciate
this kind of action. A real wrestling match.
JT - Oh yeah, you are Mr. NICE ASS, right? You don't ever do anything bad do
Nikki - He does have a point there Mr. Veteran, sir.
The Vietnam Veteran - Oh Nikki, don't call me SIR... You can call me Louis.
JT - Don't get too fresh with her or she'll be at your doorstep with condom
GP - HOW MANY DAMN TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO SLAP HIM TONIGHT!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - I like you Nikki. You have spunk. And spunk is a good
Nikki - *blushing* thanks.
?¿? pulls Ken War up, WAR WITH A LOW BLOW!!! ?¿? goes down to his knees. Ken
War charges into the ropes, he runs back and catches ?¿? with a vicious
clothesline. ?¿? goes down. Ken War gets on top of ?¿? and starts punching
away on him. The ref is just letting it go. ?¿? manages to roll Ken War
over. He gets on top of him and starts punching away on War!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - More damn brawling. This is making me sick. I think I
am going to lose my lunch.
JT - This is just great action.
?¿? gets up. He is looking around. He looks pissed. He heads out of the
ring. He pulls a table out from under the ring!!! The crowd gets up. He sets
the table up on the outside of the ring.
GP - He better be careful. Remember that new move that Ken War has... That
tiger bomb through the table from the top rope... That put Tony Davis out on
Meltdown this past Wednesday Night.
JT - ?¿? isn't a smart cookie now is he?
Nikki - The War Machine is very dangerous, he shouldn't even bring a table
into this match and he knows it. I think he is just doing it to make fun of War.
?¿? gets back in the ring. He grabs Ken War by the head. He takes him over
to the corner. He sets Ken War up on the top turnbuckle. ?¿? points down to
the table... NO!!! WAR GOUGES THE MYSTERIOUS ONE IN THE EYES!!! HE GRABS
HIM!!! THE WAR MACHINE!!! THE TABLE IS BROKEN!!! ?¿? IS OUT COLD... KEN WAR
The Vietnam Veteran - This is getting pretty damn good. I'm glad I'm out here.
JT - I told you... This is what I love!!!
Nikki - Don't agree with JT!!! That... that... just isn't right!!!
JT - HAHAHAHHAHA!!! HE LIKES ME BETTER THAN YOU NIKKI!!!
The Vietnam Veteran - NO, I don't...
GP - We have two guys out cold and all you can do is argue over who likes
Neither Ken War nor ?¿? are moving. ?¿? hit very hard and so did Ken War.
These two may both be unable to continue...
Ken War is slowly moving. He looks over and sees that ?¿? is out cold. He
puts an arm across his chest... The ref sees it and makes the
count...1..2... NO!!! Somehow ?¿? gets his shoulder up!!! NOBODY can believe
The Vietnam Veteran - I don't see how he got out of that one. I've put him
out before. I think he has gotten better since then.
JT - Oh come on. Don't you kiss up to the damn mytery freak of nature.
The Vietnam Veteran - He is a great athlete. I will not take that away from him.
GP - I have to agree.
Nikki - Me too...
JT - Fuck you all...
Ken War is up. He picks up pieces of the table and starts throwing them into
the crowd. He has gone nuts. He jerks ?¿? up and slings him into the ring
steps. The steps come apart. Ken War picks up half the steps and drops them
across the back of ?¿?...
(Tony Davis has climbed back up the side of the ship!!! He looks really...
NO!!! DARK DEMON IS BACK!!! DOWN GOES DAVIS AGAIN!!!)
JT - That is just sad...
GP - Tony Davis should just give this up.
Nikki - Atleast he isn't dead yet.
JT - Not yet...
Ken War jerks ?¿? back up and rolls him into the ring. Ken War follows him
back in. He gets in the ring and yells out to the crowd. They show him
respect by booing him like crazy. He pulls ?¿? up. He points to the top rope.
Nikki - This could be The Drop!!!
The Vientam Veteran - And it could be the end of the title reign for The
Ken War puts ?¿? on the top rope. He gives the signal for the drop... He
climbs up to the second turnbuckle... NO!!! ?¿? SHOVES WAR OFF THE
TURNBUCKLE!!! War is down on the mat. ?¿? leaps and drops an elbow down
across War. He gets up and gives the signal for the Mystery Death Driver!!!
The crowd is going crazy...
GP - Well, I guess Ken War just took way too much time. He should have known
The Vietnam Veteran - Yes he should have.
?¿? has him up.. He has it set up... NO!!! WAR WITH A BACKDROP!!! SENDING
?¿? OVER TO THE MAT!!! That took all that War had!!! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!
Someone is running down to the ring... IT IS CHRIS ANTHONY!!! HE GRABS THE
PACIFIC TITLE... HE GETS INTO THE RING... HE NAILS THE REF IN THE HEAD WITH
IT!!! The ref is out!!! He drives the belt into Ken War's face... He rolls
Ken War over and puts ?¿? on top of him.. He grabs the ref by the arm and
drops the ref's arm...1...2....3!!! NO!!!
Winner - ?¿?
JT - NO!!! NO!!! DAMN YOU CHRIS ANTHONY!!! YOU F'N PANSY!!! YOU GAVE UP YOUR
F'N TITLE FOR THIS!!!
GP - This really wasn't fair. Chris Anthony cost Ken War the Pacific Title
and I don't see how this is going to stand with the IWO Board.
The Vietnam Veteran - All is fair in love and war, that's what I always say
and I have to leave now. After seeing this crap, I don't want to watch the
World Title Match... There will be no wrestling to it either...
(The Vietnam Veteran gets up and walks off with Katie and Dr. Roberts.)
(Ken War is trying to get up. Chris Anthony is out of the ring. He is jawing
with some IWO officials. ?¿? is up. He has the Pacific Title in his hand. He
looks at the title and shakes his head. He looks over at Ken War. He is
asking for a microphone.)
?¿? - I don't want to be known as a cheating champion and besides I have
bigger and better things to move on too... So, in keeping with giving up
belts tonight, here ya go...
(?¿? drops the belt on Ken War.)
?¿? - But let it be known that you never beat me... You get your thing with
Chris Anthony finished and I'll be waiting then. But I see that you have
other business, so do what you have to do.
(A helicopter is flying over head. It is dropping down over the USS Neptune.
IWO officials are making an area where the helicopter can land by spreading
out the people.)
GP - What in the world is this all about? I just don't understand.
(The helicopter has landed.)
JT - It looks like we have some more company here aboard the USS Neptune. I
wonder who this is!??!
(President Jamie gets out of the helicopter.)
Nikki - I didn't think he was here tonight!!!
(President Jamie has a piece of paper in his hand and he is headed to the ring.)
GP - I guess he has some business to take care.
(He gets into the ring and takes the microphone from ?¿?.)
President Jamie - July is going to be a big month for the IWO... We are
going to take the Summer by storm and no, I'm not talking about Billy
Larson's Summer. As a matter of fact, I'm not going to talk about Billy
Larson at all. Someone started some strange rumor that Larson was going to
get a World Title shot at the July Pay Per View... Well, whoever started
those rumors, you will have to take it back... Over the past month I've
watched the man I'm giving the shot too. He has done somethings that have
impressed me. He has been a man of his word, he has been one of the best,
and he deserves the shot more than ANYBODY ELSE in the IWO!!!
(The crowd is cheering.)
President Jamie - Gold and Glory... July's big Pay Per View BLOWOUT... The
IWO World Champion will go one on one with the man, that just tonight, gave
up his title out of respect for his opponent, THE MYSTERIOUS ONE, ?¿?!!!
(The crowd is going crazy.)
JT - WHAT THE!?!
(Co-VP John and Billy Larson come running down to the ring yelling and
screaming. They get into the ring. Larson grabs the microphone.)
Billy Larson - What is this bull shit??? You told me that I get that fucking
President Jamie - For one thing... Watch what you say, this isn't Potty
Mouth USA and I'm not your f'n babysitter Larson!!!
(The crowd cheers.)
President Jamie - You don't get the title shot because you've been marching
around here claming to be the future of the IWO and doing all kinds of....
(Co-VP John grabs the microphone away from Jamie.)
Co-VP John - The problem isn't him.. It is YOU!!! He IS the future of the
IWO... Not some damn question mark freak that used to be good back in the FWL!!!
(The crowd is booing.)
President Jamie - Look... I'm not going to start anything with you... The
deal is that ?¿? gets the title shot at Gold and Glory, NOT Billy Larson.
That's final... BUT... To make you both happy... I have a surprise later
(Jamie drops the microphone and leaves the ring.)
IWO North American Title Match
Billy Larson w/Summer -c- vs. Dane Wilt vs. Ashton Cain
GP: Here we are for a three way dance!
JT: I don't dance Greg!
GP: Not with me you moron! A three way dance for the North American Title!
GP: The Current champ being "The Future of IWO" Billy Larson.
JT: This guy is gonna be World Champ in no time!
GP: I beg to differ. Joey Rappoport has his eyes set on Larson, and we all
know Rapp is the -
JT: THAT GUY BLOWS!
Nikki: Would you two stop it?!
GP: Well, I'm gonna go with Dane Wilt in this one. This guy is an IWO rolemodel!
JT: No way Wilt wins! I see Ashton Cain taking this thing home! Neither of
these newbies can handle Cain!
GP: Well this little feud of theirs actually has some history to it!
Nikki: Roll the clip!
(We see Co-VP John with some woman in a hotel room....)
John: OH YES! OH YES!
Woman: JUST LIKE THAT!!!
JT: Ummm, where, ummmm, did that come from?
GP: Damnit JT!
JT: SORRY! Here's the real one!
Summer is now standing over Larson. She is begging Wilt to stop his assault.
Wilt grabs Summer by the hair... ASHTON CAIN IS RUNNING OUT!!! He hits the
ring and... STARTS BEATING ON DANE WILT!!!
Nikki - Well we have The North American Title Match at Beach Party taking
place in the ring along with the Extreme Title Match!!!
Ashton throws Dane into the ropes. He comes back, spin kick sending Dane
down to the mat. Summer jumps on Ashton's back!!! She is clawing at his
eyes!!! Ashton throws her off. Ashton goes over and pulls her up. LARSON
WITH A LOW BLOW!!!
John - Been nice guys... See ya at Beach Party.
(John gets up. He is yelling at Larson.)
John - Lets get the hell out of here!!!
(Larson grabs Summer. Fusion is still beating away on The Raging One. Larson
shoves Fusion from behind. John pulls The Raging One out of the ring. Larson
jumps over the top rope and they all run down the entranceway. Just before
they get to the back they stop. John pulls out a microhone.)
Co-VP John - Hey... You shouldn't have done that. Beach Party... Now
everyone will know that "We're Better Than You"...
(They head to the back.)
GP - Could someone please tell me why he keeps saying that!?!
JT - Because he is better than them!!!
Nikki - *sigh*
GP - Well fans when we come back Phelen Kell will be out and he will be
doing an interview regarding his match with Zombie at Beach Party. As we
know Zombie IS NOT here tonight so Kell can say just about anything he wants.
JT - I hope he rips on Zombie big time!!!
(Dane Wilt is getting up. Ashton Cain is getting up. They see each other.
They are looking around to see what's going on. They see Fusion headed to
Nikki - A brawl could break out here!!!
GP - We will keep the cameras rolling!!! Back after this!!!
GP: We saw what was to be an exciting feud develop that night, and we are
here to decide who IS the better man!
JT: Let's goto the ring!
("F*cking Hostile" by Pantera blares over the intercom as Ashton Cain steps
out alone. He begins the walk down to the ring, staring over the fan as hr
steps in the ring...)
JT: Whoa! No there's a winner!
GP: I gotta say, the man is focused!
Nikki: Not looking too bad either!
JT: AH SHUT U-
("Glory" by KMFDM now plays as Dane Wilt steps out to a chorus of boos.)
GP: There's out rolemodel! Whooo Dane! Take it home boy!
JT: No way this little cocky sucker wins! Bring out Larson!! AND SUMMER TOO!
Nikki: What a male!
GP: Larson is as cocky as they come! And it will show tonight as he loses
("Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit plays as Co-VP John and The Raging One
step out of the entrance. Following them is Jenny the Camerawoman, followed
[Co-VP John takes a mic......]
John: CUT THE MUSIC!! Now the IWO is in for a treat tonight! The Future of
IWO is goinf to treat you all to a fantastic win! So here is your
perfectionist of perfection, and your next IWO World Champ, Billy Larson!
(Billy Larson steps out to an overwhelming amount off boos and he takes the
Billy Larson: You know why we come out last?!
(VP John nods..)
Larson: Because WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU!
(More boos from the fans as Larson takes his time coming to ringside, and
John and The Raging One leave to the locker rooms..)
GP: Man this is gonna be a good one! All three men are ready to go!
GP : All 3 men are in the ring, and they're under way!
JT: Test of strength, Larson has a slight advantage .... Cain coming back
... Cain scoops him up POWER SLAMMM!! Cain stomping the face of Larson.
There's no need for that! Good moves by Cain.
GP: Wilt whipped to the ropes, Cain follow in with a big clothes line! This
JT: Be quiet for once Greg.
GP : Nahhh. A huge boot to the face sends Wilt off his feet! Wilt taking an
onslaught of punishment! Larson is pounding away at his entire body! Atomic
Drop by Larson send Wilt to the ground!
JT: Wilt hops back to his feet. Kick to the gut knocks Cain out of balance.
Wilt follows up with a running knee lift to take him down!! Cain is ROCKED
with a big elbow!
GP : Cain hops back to his feet.
JT : Wilt applys a headlock and bulldogs Cain to the ground! Wilt driving a
knee into the spinal area of Cains back!! Tie up... Who's gonna come out on
GP: Well Wilt just executed a beautiful spinning neck breaker so I'm gonna
have to say Wilt.
JT : Lock up... Cain with an armdrag takedown. Currently this match is all
GP : Wilts face is being slammed over and over by Larson
JT : That could cave in his face!! Larson drops a knee on lower leg of Wilt!
Larson Stomping away at the chest of Wilt!
GP: Cain measuring him up elbow smash!
JT: Wilt with repeated boots to the knee of Cain. Working the leg!
GP: Wilt spending quite a bit of time measuring him up. Falling fist to the
chest of Cain
JT: Leg drop across the throat of Larson! Atomic Drop by Wilt send Larson to
the ground! Wilt with repeated boots to the knee of Larson. Working the leg!
GP: Leg drop across the throat of Larson! Larson taking an onslaught of
punishment! Wilt is pounding away at his entire body! Currently this match
is all Dane Wilt!
Nikki: You said it! Look at that bulge!
GP: Would you stop it?
JT: Was that nece-
Nikki: Keep on talking!
JT: A huge boot to the face sends Cain off his feet!
GP: Cain repeatedly slamming Wilts down! He could break his nose!! Cain is
moving back to his feet Figure four attempt by Cain. Wilt kicks him off quick.
JT: That could have been the end of Wilt!
GP: Larson rocks him with a forearm!!
JT: Cain out of no where with a corkscrew hurricanrana! Wilt went down
quick! Cain is trying to apply a figure four!!
GP: Wilt Got out of it! He's lucky! Cain dives on to Wilt and applies a
headlock. He's pounding away at the forehead of Wilt!
JT: What an incredible series of punches!!
GP: Wilt driving a knee into the spinal area of Larsons back!!
JT: Larson is moving back to his feet What an awesome match!!!!
GP: Good call! Larson is all over Wilt! He's choking him out!! Wilt won't be
able to take that for long!
JT: Wilt climbing back to his feet, Cain moves in... Vertical Suplex! Wilt
is out cold! Cain's going for a boston crab.
GP: He's not gonna get it on Wilt is to quick!
JT: Wilt is ROCKED with a big elbow! Cain stomping the face of Wilt. There's
no need for that!
GP: Larson picks him up in a firemans carry, and drops him right on his face!
JT: A running lariate from Wilt eliminates Larson! What a move!!
GP: Cain picks him up tilt:o:whirl slam!! Down goes Larson. Good moves by Cain.
JT: Cain lifting Larson into position for something. He devastated the neck
of Larson with a Tombstone type piledriver. Piledriver.. Good Move wouldn't
you say GP?
GP: Does it hurt? Then it's good! Cain comes down across the back of Larson
with a double axe handle!! Larson just can't make it to his feet!
JT: Larson moving to his feet. Cain kicks him back down! Cain pulling Larson
back to his feet. Closed fists to the face of Larson! Those are devastating!!!
GP: Diving forearm sends Cain to the mat!!
JT: Cain rocks him with a forearm!! Tie up... Who's gonna come out on top GP?
GP: Well Cain just executed a beautiful spinning neck breaker so I'm gonna
have to say Cain. Cain is moving back to his feet
JT: Larson lunging toward Cain and knocking off his feet!! Desperation
maneuver by Larson!!
GP: A huge boot to the face sends Larson off his feet! Cain Stomping away at
the chest of Larson! Cain repeatedly slamming Larsons down! He could break
JT: Currently this match is all Cain! Cain driving a knee into the spinal
area of Larsons back!! Larsons face is being slammed over and over by Cain
GP: That could cave in his face!!
JT: Cain spending quite a bit of time measuring him up. Falling fist to the
chest of Larson
GP: Cain drops a knee on lower leg of Larson! Cain driving a knee into the
spinal area of Larson's back!!
Nikki: I'll dtop on a knee for him!
JT: OHHHH SICK!
GP: That was kinda nasty!
JT: You little Wh-
*SLAP* *SLAP**SLAP* *SLAP**SLAP* *SLAP**SLAP* *SLAP*
JT: HOLY SON OF MARY!
JT: Larson with repeated boots to the knee of Cain. Working the leg!
GP: Larson Stomping away at the chest of Cain!
JT: Larson measuring him up elbow smash!
GP: Leg drop across the throat of Larson! Cain repeatedly slamming Larsons
down! He could break his nose!! Lock up... Cain with an armdrag takedown.
JT: Larson's face is being slammed over and over by Cain
GP: That could cave in his face!! Cain is moving back to his feet Larson
moving to his feet. Cain kicks him back down!
JT: Cain is trying to pull Larson back to his feet. Larson with an eye
gouge!! Down goes Cain! Larson pulling Cain back to his feet. Huge Bulldog
by Larson may have broken some of Cain's teeth!
GP: Cain needs to try for a comeback! Larson's going for a boston crab.
JT: He's not gonna get it on Cain is to quick!
GP: Cain lunging toward Larson and knocking off his feet!! Desperation
maneuver by Cain!! Currently this match is all Cain!
JT: A huge boot to the face sends Cain off his feet! Cains face is being
slammed over and over by Larson
GP: That could cave in his face!!
JT: Cain spending quite a bit of time measuring him up. Falling fist to the
chest of Larson
GP: Larsons face is being slammed over and over by Cain
JT: That could cave in his face!! Cain driving a knee into the spinal area
of Larsons back!! Cain with repeated boots to the knee of Larson. Working
GP: Cain Stomping away at the chest of Larson!
JT: Cain drops a knee on lower leg of Larson! Cain measuring him up elbow
smash! Leg drop across the throat of Larson!
GP: Lock up... Larson with an armdrag takedown.
JT: Larson repeatedly slamming Cains down! He could break his nose!! Larson
repeatedly slamming Cains down! He could break his nose!! Cain taking an
onslaught of punishment! Larson is pounding away at his entire body!
GP: Tie up... Who's gonna come out on top JT?
JT: Well Cain just executed a beautiful spinning neck breaker so I'm gonna
have to say Cain. Cain is moving back to his feet Cain pulling Larson back
to his feet.
GP: lock up Larson gets the upper edge setting Cain up for a piledriver.
JT: Cain counters back body drop! Gives Cain the advantage again! This match
is great!! Wouldn't you way so Paul?
JT: Must you always a be a smart-ass?
GP Wait. What's this?! Larson is.. hiding outside the ring!
JT: Wilt and Cain are just blasting away at each other.
GP: The ref finally motions for Larson to come back in as he does as ordered...
GP: Larson now helping Cain to his feet ever so gently...Irish whip into the
ropes, clothesline delivered by the Champ, and Cain goes down hard on his
back, some power delivered there by Larson.
JT: Larson dominating here, belly to belly suplex orchestrated in the center
of the ring. But Cain answers back, firing off a salvo of rights to the gut
GP: Right into a backbreaker there by Cain, textbook maneuver done
flawlessly. Front Chancery applied, as momentum swinging towards Cain favor.
JT: Side headlock applied, smart move there to keep Larson off his feet,
taking the big man's power away from him, really.
GP: Now, Cain's applied a wristlock on Larson, perhaps hoping to get a
submission out of him, but Larson refuses to give in. Elbow to the
midsection as Larson gets to his feet, and irish whip into the ropes, both
men collide head on in the middle of the ring, neither giving way.
JT: Both men charge again...double clothesline, leaving both men stunned on
the canvas. The ref begins a ten count, but both men up on their feet in time.
GP: Lockup, and Larson with the advantage...he's got a sleeper hold on, but
wait, Cain drops down, jawbreaker applied.
JT: Larson left clutching his jaw after feeling the effects of that move,
folks, now Cain with an armbar applied, hitting with a well placed elbow to
GP: Cain knowing all the right places to hurt you, as he lifts Larson up
into an inverted atomic drop, followed by a running lariat, oh my, we might
see the changing off the guards here, folks!
JT: Larson's in danger here, as Cain now taking to the ropes, going for his
senton leg drop...but Larson rolls out of the way! Piledriver executed by
Larson...the count, only a 2, Cain kicking out just in time there.
GP: Wilt has been in the corner as Larson and Cain battled! WAIT! WHAT'S THIS?!
JT: Billy Larson has Dane Wilt stunned! HE'S CALLING FOR IT!
GP: This could be it! The Armageddon!
JT: He nails the DDT, and holds! IT'S THE ARMAGEDDON!!!!
GP: WAIT! ASHTON CAIN COMES FLYING OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE, NAILING LARSON,
CAUSING HIM TO LET GO!
JT: LARSON IS LAID OUT! CAIN IS GOING TO THE TOP! THIS OCULD BE HIS SHOOTING
GP: WAIT! WHAT THE HELL IS PHELAN KELL DOING AT RINGSIDE?!
JT: OH NO! NOT AGAIN!
GP: NO!!!! PHELAN JUST GRABBED CAIN'S FOOT, CAUSING HIM TO COME DOWN ON THE
JT: AND LARSON CAPITALIZES! POWERSLAM FROM THE TOP!
GP: WILT IS OUT! CAIN IS OUT! LARSON JUST HAS TO PIN ONE OF THEM!
JT: Wait! Something is going on! President Jamie Kosoy is coming towards the
ring. He has a replica of the IWO World Title! And he is pointing to it, as
if telling Larson something!
GP: NO! LARSON LAYS DOWN AND PULLS DANE WILT ON TOP OF HIM!
JT: AND HE PULLS ASHTON CAIN ON TOP OF HIM! WHAT'S THIS?!
GP: THE REF COUNTS.... 1...2...3!!!
JT: THE WINNERS - ASHTON CAIN AND DANE WILT!!
GP: What has just happened? Did Billy Larson put his North American title
down just for a shot at the IWO World Title? And who is the new IWO North
American champion? Dane Wilt or Ashton Cain? Too many questions, so little time!
JT: Billy Larson lays the belt on top of the two men, walking to the back!
GP: Phlean Kell has just screwed Ashton Cain out of his title chance! He had
JT: I'm sure Ashton will have some words for Phelan!
(Phelen Kell and Dane Wilt are standing over Ahston Cain. They are motioning
to the back. Out runs Jax Stone with some handcuffs!?!)
GP - What is Jax Stone doing out here!?!
(He hands the handcuffs to Phelen Kell. Kell grabs Cain by the wrist and
handcuffs him to the ropes. Jax Stone throws a chair into the ring. Dane
Wilt grabs it and nails Ashton Cain right in the knee with it. Jax Stone
looks into the ring, smiles and walks away. Just then Co-VP John comes
running out yelling. He goes over and grabs a microphone. Dane Wilt
continues to hit Ashton in the leg with that chair.)
Co-VP John - Wait a minute... This isn't right... As I saw it, the winner of
the North American title match... was... well...
(John pulls out a coin. He shows it to the camera.)
Co-VP John - There has to be a champ so heads, Wilt, you take the gold,
tails, Ashton, well, you can't hear me right now... but you will win...
(John tosses the coin. It drops down... He grabs it and yells out, "HEADS".
And walks off laughing. The ref hands Dane Wilt the North American Title. He
raises it up high.)
(The crowd boos.)
GP - This isn't fair!!!
JT - HAHAHAHHAHA!!! I like this new Hostile Youth!!!
(Just then Harlequin makes his way out... He has a clown... NO.. THAT'S
SUMMER!!! HE HAS DRESSED SUMMER, BILLY LARSON'S MANAGER UP AS A CLOWN!!! He
is taking her down to the ring. Dane Wilt is holding a microphone.)
Dane Wilt - Tonight...something amazing, spectacular, and
monumental happened inside this very ring....but something even greater
happened in Harlequin's pants!!!
(An airplane flies over head. It has a banner, it reads, "Way to go
Harlequin. You just got in your first season"... Fireworks start going off.
Harlequin is holding Summer tight. She is fightning to get free. Harlequin
is trying to kiss on her. Dane Wilt and Phelen Kell laughing the whole time.
Phelen looks down at Asthon. He shakes his head. He pulls out a key and
takes the handcuffs off... He pulls Ashton up. Phelen is pointing to the top
rope... Dane gets a smile on his face.)
Dane Wilt - Now you will witness the greatest move in wrestling history!!!
THE BOX OFFICE SMASH!!!
(Dane climbs up to the top rope. Ashtone is struggling to stand up...
SHOOTING STAR PRESS... INTO A DDT!!! ASHTON IS OUT COLD!!!)
JT - WOW!!!
Nikki - Amazing...
(Dane Wilt gets up. He high fives Phelen Kell. Just then Summer manages to
kick Harlequin in the groin. He goes down. Billy Larson comes running out
yelling. She runs to him. She is still dressed as a clown. Larson looks into
the ring and starts yelling. Phelen grabs the microphone.)
Phelen Kell - Hey Cowboy, don't blame me, Harlequin has a mind of his own.
It's not my fault. He just wanted to get in a little season. If you know
what I mean.
(Larson charges the ring but Summer grabs him by the arm.)
Summer - No... Let them be... Just get me out of this stupid costume...
(Summer starts crying. Larson takes her to the back.)
GP - This night has just gotten weirder and weirder. I don't know if
anything else can happen.
(The camera cuts to the area where the ship is driven. We see Black Assassin
and Spider yelling at people.)
The Black Assassin - TURN THE DAMN SHIP THIS WAY!!! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!
Navigator - NO!!! SECURITY!!!
The Black Assassin - Look you here you damn bastard, I'm taking control of
this ship. I don't care what the hell you say.
(The Black Assassin grabs the Navigator and slings him out of the chair.
Spider sits down and starts messing with the controls. All of a sudden the
huge ship comes to a complete stop.)
(The Black Assassin is telling Spider where to take the ship. IWO security
is trying to get inside but The Black Assassin has the door jammed with some
kind of object. The ship starts moving again.)
GP - fans, I've just been told we are headed for the Bermuda Triangle!!!
JT - GOD NO!!!
Nikki - I'm scared!!!
(The Black Assassin and Spider are laughing. Just then Jack in the Box
appears out of nowhere with a sledgehammer. He breaks the glass in the room.
He yells out, "I'm not booked to be on this PPV so I will MAKE MYSELF be on
the PPV!!! And save the ship at the same time!!!" Jack in the Box goes
through the glass. He grabs The Black Assassin and slings him into the wall.
He grabs Spider... NO... LOWBLOW!!! Jack in the Box falls to the floor.)
GP - Jack in the Box was going to save the ship, but apparently he has lost
his battle. I guess he just wanted to be on the PPV.
JT - HAHAHAHHA!!! Dumb jackass!!!
(The Black Assassin grabs some of the glass and starts running it across the
face of Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box is yelling out in pain. The IWO
security guards are making their way into the room through the broken glass.
They have changed the course of the ship. We are back on our original
destination... Which is... UNKNOWN AT THIS TIME DURING BEACH PARTY. They are
trying to pull The Black Assassin off of Jack in the Box.)
Nikki - Jack in the Box DID save the ship!!! He is a HERO!!!
(The IWO security guards have The Black Assassin and Spider. They are taking
them away. Jack in the Box is trying to get up. His face is busted up pretty
badly. He stumbles out of the door. He looks off in the distance... He sees
something. He smiles. Our cameras zoom out into the ocean... OH MY GOD!!! It
is an island FULL of naked whores, all the food you can eat, all the water,
tv's, movies, etc... Jack in the Box runs over to the side of the ship. He
jumps into a life boat. He begins to lower himself down into the water.)
GP - Ok... I'm so damn confused right about now.
JT - HAHAHAHHAHA!!! He is going to GET HIM SOME!!!
(The boat is down in the water. He starts paddling toward the island full of
naked women and all that other stuff I told you about. He looks back at the
USS Neptune. He looks up at all the fans. He yells out, "I'LL BE BACK IWO!!!
I JUST NEED SOME REST, RELAXATION, AND SEX IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS!!!")
JT - Now there goes a hero and just one all around COOL guy!!!
(Jack in the Box start paddling faster and faster... He reaches the
island... A few of the naked women come out to meet him. They take him out
of his boat and take him out of the view... No more naked women to look at =(
GP - So... I guess this means Jack in the Box is taking some time off.
(Tony Davis comes up from the side of the ship!!! NO!!! DARK DEMON IS
THERE!!! DOWN HE GOES AGAIN!!!)
JT - HAHAHHAHA!!! TONY DAVIS CANT GET BACK ONBOARD THE SHIP!!!
Nikki - He has to be hurt by now and where does Dark Demon keep popping up
World Title Match
Phelen Kell v. Zombie -c-
(Titan is walking out. The crowd is booing him. He has a smile on his face.
He heads over and sits down at the announcers' table.)
GP- The moment we've all been waiting for is finally at hand! Everything has
been riding on this match for months now.....Zombie and Phelen Kell, one on
one....somebody has to leave as the true IWO World Champ! And fans, the ring
will NOT be used in this match!!!
Nikki- Zombie hasn't beaten Kell in singles competetion yet!
JT- But he still has the title, and the experience edge....Kell will be
meeting his maker tonight! Right Titan?
Titan- You know what f*cking pisses me the f*ck off? Those f*cking f*ckers,
the f*cking Upper Class. I mean....look at them. You've got Chris Whinedork,
Jason 'I've got the plainest name ever' Stevens, an Dennis Scott, the man
with no last name. And of course, let's not forget Joey Rappoport. Y'know, I
had to face Joey in the ring one time a little while back....he's got the
worst f*cking B.O. I swear, the only reason the man ever got close to the
World Title was because no one could stand the stench! The Upper Class my
ass.....more like the Upper Trash. Those four f*cking losers don't deserve to
be in the IWO. I'll f*cking tear 'em all limb from....
Titan- What the f*ck do you want?!
JT- YIPE YIPE YIPE!!
Nikki- Awww, I think he's scared!
Titan- Anyway, about the stupid f*cking Upper Class. Those f*cking
(Titan continues to babble on in the background about the Upper Class. After
about 5 minutes or so of his speech about them........)
Titan- .........those f*cking pricks would get their f*cking asses kicked if
they ever bothered to show their f*cking faces around me. I'll send them back
to the indy feds they deserve to belong to. Those f*cking...
GP- Titan, please!! It's time for the World Title Match!
Titan- DO YOU THINK I GIVE TWO SH*TS ABOUT EITHER OF THESE PUNKS?!
Nikki- AHAHAHAHAHA!! Someone get JT a bottle, he looks....awww, sh*t! Sh*t!
JT, go change!! Put on a diaper or something if you're going to........lord,
you're a grown man!! You........I can't believe......ugh, it smells
terrible!! Get out of here JT! Go! Disgusting!
(JT runs away to clean himself up.)
GP- I think I'm going to be sick.....
Titan- Sick?! I'm f*cking sick of those f*cking Upper Class dumbasses coming
out here and making a fool out of my fed! I spend all my time to make the
Titan Wrestling Organization look as good as possible, and then the f*cking
Executive Board hires those dumbasses....I'll bet the ratings have dropped
through the ship!
GP- ....stick a fork in me, Jerry! I'm done! (starts puking all over the
Nikki- That is SO nasty! GP, get out of here and clean yourself up!
Ugh....men....you can't take them anywhere.
(GP leaves to clean up.)
Titan- Those f*cking Upper Class sh*theads. Hey....where did JT and Parker go
Nikki- Don't remind me about what just happened. Please.
Titan- Well come on!! What the f*ck, there's a World Title Match to be had
here! Let's get this f*cker started, I'll do the play by play! And the color
commentary! At the same time! I'm just that good! Let's stop shouting! Ring
the f*cking bell!
Announcer- Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is falls count anywhere
on the USS Neptune for the IWO World Heavyweight Title!!
(a few guests and IWO wrestlers watching on cheer in anticipation. "F*cking
Hostile" by Pantera plays....)
Announcer- Introducing first, the challenger. Weighing in at 255
pounds....standing at 6 feet, 2 inches....he has become one of the most
acclaimed IWO super stars ever, holding the IWO Tag Team Titles with his
former part Ashton Cain longer than anyone else in history....he has proven
himself to be one of the greatest talents ever to grace the wrestling
ring.....he is 'Phoenix' Phelen Kell!!!!
(the crowd cheers as Kell walks out. He has a look of true determination in
his face, ready for action. As he steps to the starting area of this match,
his music fades out...."Du Hast" by Rammstien replaces it....)
Announcer- His opponent....weighing in at 350 pounds, standing at a stunning
6 feet 11 inches....he is the current IWO World Champion. He has defeated
those who others felt was impossible to beat, he has overcome all obsticles
in his path on the quest for the gold he wears around his waist. Should he
defeat Kell tonight, he may be unstoppable. He is Zombie!!!!!
(Zombie comes out, holding a crowbar in his hand. He looks pissed off. The
two meet in the middle of the starting area, staring face to face. The bell
rings, and the two continue the staredown.)
Titan- And the match starts out!! Here we go!! Oh my!! Zombie with a....no,
wait...he's just staring. Kell counters with a....stare. What the f*ck is
this?! How much money did all of you people pay to watch these two stare at
each other all night! Come on you f*ckers, we all paid money to be
here...let's see some f*cking blood! Let's see some....what the f*ck?!
(The camera pans over to the mast of the ship, where Harlequin is standing
with his arms spread....)
Harlequin- I'm the king of the world!! I'm the king of the world!!
Titan- Someone shoot him. Shoot him now, before I go over there and end his
Nikki- Hey look, the match finally started!
Titan- Really?! God damn, those two were almost as slow and stupid as the
Upper Class! I was afraid we might just have to watch them look at each other
all night! Here we go!! Kell is trying to outrun Zombie, who is about umpteen
tons heavier and taller. Zombie takes a swing with that crowbar of his, but
Kell ducks out of the way! Kell is just so skillful with all those fast
reflexes...and what a whole lot of f*cking good reflexes will do in a match
like this. Kell is about as stupid as the Upper Class. Don't f*cking dodge
him you loser, hit him!!
Nikki- Kell does just that! Zombie took another swing at him, but Kell
sidestepped and sweep kicked him down! Kell is now trying to wrest that
crowbar out of the hands of the big man!! Zombie just shoves him off!
Titan- Yeah, when that's what happens when people who are half the size of
other people try to prove their strength. They get thrown around. Take some
notes, Upper Class....you sh*theads are gonna be finding this out first hand
when I get around to you. Now look here....Zombie picks up Kell by the throat
and just tosses him to the ground! Zombie kicks the crowbar
overboard...apparantly he changed his mind about using it on him....He pulls
Kell by the hair over to the helm of the ship....and OW! God damn, that's
gonna leave a f*cking mark!
Nikki- Looks like it already did....Kell is busted open big time! Zombie just
threw him right onto the manual steering wheel! Zombie is laughing
now...toying with him....He walks over, picks him up by the hair
slowly....and shoves his face right into some control! The ship is starting
to spin in circles!
Titan- God dammit, this ship has less a direction than the Upper Class! At
least they know they want to win here in the IWO....they just don't realize
that they suck so badly that they'll never do it! The crew is trying to get
control of this boat....while Zombie continues to just pound Kell to
oblivian! Zombie picks up Kell, low blow!! Oh, that does suck for Zombie!!
Zombie is down to his knees...I give credit to Kell, he's gotta have balls to
hit a guy in the balls...especially when that guy makes him look like a
Nikki- Kell is trying to catch a breather now....he needs to capitalize....to
take control of this match!
Titan- Ha, f*ck that! Kell has to run the f*ck away and pray that Zombie
trips or something....cause there ain't no way in hell that he's going to
keep that big man off his feet, and when he gets back up he's gonna be one
angry muther f*cker.
Nikki- Kell is up to his feet now....Zombie is still trying to get his
bearings.....Kell picks up a fire extinguisher from the side....Zombie is up
to his feet!! Zombie takes a swing at Kell, who ducks low....and nail him
with the fire extinguisher where the sun don't shine! Zombie has got to be
sterile now!! There's just no way that he can take that kind of punishment.
Titan- I stand corrected for once. It looks to me like Kell knew how he was
going to keep Zombie off his feet...hell, it's smarter than just trying to
knock him down. Maybe Kell isn't as stupid as the Upper Class anyway. Hell, I
don't think anyone could be as stupid as them anyway.
Nikki- Kell sets up Zombie....and baseball swings that fire extinguisher
right to the champ's head! Zombie is out cold!! Kell covers!! 1....2...and a
shoulder up by the champ! Wow, I thought this match was over!
Titan- Nah....Zombie can take more sh*t than a fire extinguisher to the head.
You know, I'm fairly confident in Zombie here. He's got the height
advantedge, the weight advantedge...hell, the only way he can lose this match
is if the Upper Class tries to help him, cause they'll f*ck up so badly that
he'll lose! But right now, it's all Kell....Kell smacks him....ooch, and
again....and a third time! My my, Phelen is just a teensy mad at Zombie after
all this feuding....
Nikki- Kell picks up Zombie.....european uppercut! Zombie is stunned, but not
knocked off his feet! Kell hits him with another!! Zombie takes that one a
little better! Kell kicks him right in the groin!!
Titan- HAHAHAHA!! You gotta love it!! Zombie never could've expected this
strategy! Hell, remind me to buy this guy a beer after the pay per view just
because of his thinking! HA! Kell picks up Zombie....SNAP MARE!! My lord, a
wrestling move!! Kell measures him up, and a legdrop right across the
throat!! Kell grabs Zombie and puts him into a chinlock!! HAHAHA, this is
great!! This guy looks like a luchador compared to Zombie, but he's still
beating the crap out of him! Where's my popcorn?! God dammit, I had popcorn
earlier. That f*cking Upper Class must've stolen it. Those assholes are low
enough to steal popcorn.....they're gonna get the sh*t kicked out of them for
Nikki- Titan, I don't think it's a good idea to get the Upper Class all riled
up.....we don't want any trouble here tonight....lord knows we've already had
too much of that. Kell lets go of the chinlock....grabs Zombie....hoists him
up....and drops him on his neck on the safety railing!! Interesting version
of a snake eyes right there! What power displayed by Kell, picking up 350
pounds of flesh!
Titan- God dammit, I know I had a Snicker's bar earlier.....those f*cking
Upper Class-holes are going to get beaten senseless! Awww f*ck it.....Kell
kneedrops Zombie right on the throat!! Damn, Kell has this match well planned
out! Kell is looking for a weapon now.....he's got a broomstick! What a
f*cking cheesy weapon...get something metal or something I say...something
with power. Otherwise you're just like any of the members of the Upper
Nikki- Kell smacks Zombie with that....no!! Zombie rolled out of the way!!
Zombie quickly gets to his feet, Kell charges after him with that
broomstick...Zombie sidesteps and throws Kell straight into a steel door!!
Zombie opens the door, it leads down to the different rooms for passangers!!
He picks up Kell.....and spinebusters him onto that staircase down!!
Titan- See, Zombie has the right idea. F*ck him up with everything in sight,
don't go using bullsh*t like broomsticks. Believe me, you'll feel a lot worse
in the morning if you get thrown on a steel staircase compared to getting hit
by one of those cheesy ass broomsticks. Zombie picks up Kell...and slams his
head into the f*cking wall! Kell is bleeding everywhere now!! God damn,
Zombie turned this match around and is beating Kell so badly that I'm
beginning to think he's a member of the Upper Class!
Nikki- Didn't you say that joke already?
Titan- I got no f*cking clue. I just hate the f*cking Upper Class. They all
deserve to get their asses kicked. If they were here right now I'd pound them
from here back to the f*cking mainland. Speaking of getting pounded, Kell is
just getting battered! Zombie picks him up by his neck and throws him through
the door to one of the luxury suites on the ship!! WOOHOO, WHAT A ROOM TO
PICK!! Damn, I've never seen a nude chick run away that fast!! Wow, she was
pretty hot too. Remind me to find her as soon as I'm through kicking the
Upper Class's asses.
Nikki- Is there anybody NOT perverted in the IWO?! Zombie was distracted by
that poor lady who was changing....He's got his back turned to Kell, and
that's a huge mistake!! Kell grabs....oh no, don't say that it's a....
Titan- IT IS!! IT IS!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Zombie turns around and Kell nails him
with that dildo!! HAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE IT!! Kell grabs the matress to that
bed and shoves it out of the way!...he's not got the exposed bed frame there,
and that's made of steel! He's got the right idea now!! He sets up
Zombie....DDT!! Right through the f*cking frame!! This is so much better than
having that f*cker Rappoport in a World Title match.....we get to see some
Nikki- Kell picks up Zombie.....fisherman's suplex! 1....2...no!! Kickout!!
Zombie kicked out!! Kell picks himself up.....he's wondering what else he can
do to Zombie to win this title! Kell pulls Zombie to his knees...Zombie nails
him in the stomach!! Phelen doubles over in pain....Zombie nails him again in
the stomach!! Kell is holding his stomach now....Zombie gets to his
feet....Rocker Dropper takes down the challenger!! Kell was just dropped face
Titan- You know, I always hated having to fight little punks. These tykes
that think they're hot sh*t but really aren't even half my size. I can't wait
to get my hands on the Upper Class. I'll tear them apart.
(Chris Wyndorf, Dennis Scott, and Jason Stevens are walking over to the
Nikki- Great...now you've done it.
Titan- Awww......did I hurt their feelings?!
Chris- Do you have a problem?!
Titan- Me? No, I'm calling the f*cking match as I see it.
Dennis- I think you've got a problem with us Titan. If you've got a problem,
we'll be sure to fix it for you.
Titan- Son, get out of my face before I beat you so badly you get a real last
Jason- We're warning you Titan....
Titan- Ah warn this! (gives them the finger.) Don't you f*cking panzies get
it?! I'm not scared of you....hell, I enjoy making fun of you! Don't wet your
pants....just go back to your little rooms and enjoy the f*cking show.
Chris- You know, you've got a real attitude problem asshole. We'll be sure to
change your attitude.
Titan- Try me.
Nikki- Alright, folks...while Titan and the Upper Class have their squirmish,
I'm going to fulfill my duty as an announcer, ignore them, and just call the
match....ummm....Zombie is just dominating the match....he hit Kell with
a.....umm....and now he hits a.....GOD DAMMIT, SHUT THE F*CK UP!!! YOU FOUR
ARE SUCH LITTLE KIDS!! CAN'T YOU TELL THAT PEOPLE PAID TO SEE AND HEAR WHAT
HAPPENS AT THESE MATCHES AND YOU'RE RUINING IT?!
Dennis- Definetly PMS.
Titan- Then why the f*ck don't you guys go and change your f*cking tampons?!
Why the f*ck do I have to know that you're having PMS?! I'm two seconds away
from kicking all your asses, do you think it makes any f*cking difference to
me if you're all in a bitchy mood or not?!
Jason- We meant the b*tch sitting next to you you sh*thead!
(Nikki slaps Jason)
Titan- HAHAHA, you got your ass kicked by a woman....not even a woman
wrestler, just Nikki!
Jason- That so? Well, you'll feel real stupid after you get your ass kicked
by someone who got their ass kicked by a woman, won't you?
Titan- Oh, you're a big talker, aren't you now?! Come on sh*thead...let's see
what you got. First shot....you get to hit the best f*cking wrestler ever for
free....and then you get the added bonus of getting put on the floor before
you ever know what hit you.
Nikki- *sigh*....Folks, the match itself is a total brawl now....Zombie and
Kell are exchanging punches! Kell ducks under one....
Chris- Titan, you're all mouth. You know damn well that if you even think the
wrong thing we'll beat you senseless.
Nikki- ....swings at Zombie, but Zombie ducks and nails him with a kick to
Titan- Think the wrong thing, eh? Ok, I'm thinking about beating the sh*t out
of you Whinedork. I'm thinking about throwing you right over this f*cking
boat, then jumping in and personally drowning you myself. Oh, I guess since
you haven't hit me it's not the wrong thing, eh? You Upper Class-holes are
all alike....a bunch of panzies. I'll beat the f*ck out of all three of you.
Nikki- .....and sets him up for the Zombieplex!! Kell punches him in the side
as a counter!! Swinging neckbreaker takes the champ down!!....
Dennis- Alright Titan, I've heard just about enough from you. We're gonna
give you one more chance. Shut your mouth or face the consequences. Alright?
Nikki- ......ASHTON CAIN!! ASHTON CAIN IS STILL PISSED OFF FROM WHAT HAPPENED
EARLIER TONIGHT TO HIM!! HE HAS A PIPE AND IS COMING UP BEHIND PHELEN
KELL.....ASHTON CLUBS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!! HE CLUBBED HIS FORMER TAG
TEAM PARTNER OVER THE HEAD!! KELL SLUMPS DOWN!!! ASHTON IS OUT OF HERE!!
Titan- .....Alright...I guess you're right....I'll tone it down, I'll...
(Titan nails Dennis Scott square in the jaw!! Dennis falls to the ground.
Chris and Jason pounce on him, the three start brawling all over the place.
The ref comes over to try and stop the brawl.)
Nikki- Titan and the Upper Class are brawling!! Kell is out cold!! Zombie
picks himself up.....sees Kell on the ground....and is calling for the
Zombieplex!! He picks up Phelen Kell....ZOMBIEPLEX!! THIS IS IT!! BUT THE REF
IS TRYING TO BREAK UP THE BRAWL GOING ON OVER HERE!! ZOMBIE STILL HAS KELL
LOCKED IN THAT ZOMBIEPLEX!! HERE COMES JOEY RAPPOPORT??!!?? THE FOURTH MEMBER
OF THE UPPER CLASS, THE KAMIKAZE KID, JOEY RAPPOPORT IS HERE!! HE RUNS RIGHT
BY THE BRAWL ENSUEING WITH TITAN AND THE OTHER UPPER CLASS MEMBERS!! HE NAILS
ZOMBIE WITH A FIERCE KICK!! ZOMBIE LETS GO OF THE ZOMBIEPLEX FINALLY!! ZOMBIE
STANDS UP, SHOCKED, KAMIKAZE KICK!!! ZOMBIE WAS PLANTED!! HE'S OUT COLD!!
JOEY RAPPOPORT APPARANTLY STILL HATES ZOMBIE'S GUTS FROM A FEUD DATING BACK
SOME 6 MONTHS AGO!! RAPPOPORT IS LEAVING!! HE'S CALLING FOR THE UPPER CLASS
STABLEMATES TO COME AS WELL!! TITAN IS MOCKING THEM, BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE A
CLUE WHAT JUST HAPPENED EITHER!! PHELEN KELL WAKES UP....HE SEES ZOMBIE
DOWN!!! HE GRABS HIM AND HOOKS ON THE MALICIOUS INTENT!! THE REF SEES THAT
ZOMBIE ISN'T MOVING!! HE CHECKS HIM ONCE.....HIS HAND DROPS!! TWICE.....HIS
HAND DROPS!! A THIRD TIME......AND IT DROPS AGAIN!!! NEW CHAMPION!! PHELEN
KELL HAS DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE!! HE HAS WON THE IWO WORLD TITLE!!!
Titan- What the f*ck did I miss?!?!
("F*cking Hostile by Pantera plays...)
Announcer- Here is your winner....and NEW IWO World Champion....'Phoenix'
Titan- How the f*ck did he win?!
Nikki- I can't believe that!!! The Upper Class used Titan as a set up to get
back at Zombie from something from so many months ago!! Kell is the new
(Greg Parker is back at ringside and so is JT. They are just two troopers!!!)
["Nobody Loves Me" blares over the intercom as Billy Larson storms out of
the entranceway followed by Jenny the Camerawoman. He dives into the ring
holding a microphone...]
Billy Larson: ALRIGHT! I'VE HAD IT!
[Jenny gets a close-up view on Larson...]
Larson: Harelquin, you little buck toothed, good for nothing piece of toe
jam! I should run on back to the locker rooms, and use your head as a
fucking volleyball you fruit!
[Jenny is clapping...]
Billy Larson: Is this what you call getting a woman?
[Billy is now bouncing on the ropes..]
Billy Larson: And PHELAN KELL! I already proved I'm through with mid-card
scum like you not an hour ago! Do you think taking Summer will do a damn
thing to change my mind?! Keep your Northa American Title, but know this,
Summer runs with a real man, not one that takes handouts.
[Larson leans on a corner....]
Billy Larson: As for the "Luckiest Man Alive" Phelan Kell, taking my woman
does not make me happy. You could get more from a Auotwash at the gas
station than you ever could with Summer. She doesn't wanna be near you or
that millimeter peter you call an asset.
[Larson is now pacing back and forth...]
Billy Larson: So Harlequin wants to look at my woman with those beedy little
eyes of his, WELL HOW WILL THEY FEEL WHEN I RIP THEM OUT OF THE FUCKING SOCKET!
[Jenny is getting a little scared......]
Billy Larson: Story telling time! Little Harlequin was strolling through the
woods, BUT THEN A PACK OF WOLVES JUMPED HIM! FROM NOWHERE! LEAVING ONLY
THERE ASHES OF HIS BARE BONES, AND THAT THING HE CALLED A-
Jenny: Don't get too carried away Billy. You still have me!
Billy Larson: Do your zooming, focus your lens, and shut the hell up. I
don't have time for all you losers. Know why?
Billy Larson: BECAUSE WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU!
Jenny: Who's we?
Billy Larson: Gotta go now!
[Billy grabs Jenny by the arm as they exit the ramp to pure silence.....]
GP - Summer must not be doing too good... Harlequin must have done something
to damage her mind...
JT - Hell, if I were dressed up like a clown I would have problems too...
Nikki - I guess that explains it...
GP - Apparently we STILL have more action... This has been a HUGE night...
JT - Is it time to recap things yet?
GP - I don't think so... We are getting some word that SOMETHING BAD IS
Nikki - What is it!?!
GP - They are saying that it involves Jax Stone!?!
JT - What about Jax Stone?
Nikki - Is he dead too!?! Or is he just falling off the ship over and over
again like Tony Davis did!?!
JT - Speaking of that, where the hell is Tony Davis!?!
(Just then Tony Davis appears from the side of the ship. He has climbed back
up for a fourth time... NO!!! THERE IS DARK DEMON!!! BACK DOWN HE GOES!!!)
Nikki - *sigh*
JT - It is getting kinda funny isn't it?
(We see Jax Stone in the pool. He is floating, face up, and blood is leaking
from the back of his head into the pool. IWO officials are trying to get him
GP - I told you that something was going on with Jax Stone. Lets take a look
at what happened. Luckily we had an extra cameraman to catch this action...
(Joey Rappoport, Dennis Scott, Chris Wyndorf, and Jason Stevens are seen
walking on the ship talking. They spot Jax Stone. He has a fishing pole in
his hand, fishing off the side of the ship. He gets a bite... NO!!! IT IS
TONY DAVIS PULLING HIMSELF UP VIA THE FISHING LINE!!! NO!!! DARK DEMON GRABS
THE POLE AND DROPS THE POLE IN THE WATER!!! DAVIS ONCE AGAIN!!! OH MY!!!
Dark Demon walks away. Wyndorf charges at Jax Stone for no reason. He shoves
him down to the ship's deck. He starts stomping on him. The entire Upper
Class starts kicking on Jax Stone. Dennis Scott pulls out a crowbar. He
nails Jax Stone with it!!! Jax Stone yells out in pain. Just then High
Flyer, Justin Shack, Al Coholic, and Dark Wolf come rushing in. They are
going after the Upper Class... NO!!! THE SHIP TAKES A SHARP TURN!!! They go
flying into the water!!! The Cult is floating out to sea!!! The Upper Class
continues to beat on Jax Stone. Jason Stevens picks him up and carries him
over to the pool. Chris Wyndorf has the crowbar. HE NAILS STONE IN THE BACK
OF THE HEAD!!! HE IS OUT COLD!!! They throw him into the pool!!! Blood is
GP - Well, that is what happened to Jax Stone.
JT - He has a severe head injury and could be out for a month... Atleast
that's what I think...
Nikki - You are right JT. Jax Stone could be out FOR A LONG TIME!!!
(The ship turns again suddenly.)
GP - What the hell is going on!?!
JT - The ship has been taking some sharp turns here in the last few minutes.
OH well... Lets review what happened here tonight as the IWO officials try
to get Jax Stone out of the pool and The Cult out of the Atlantic Ocean.
GP - We have NEW tag team champions, Dane Wilt and Phelen Kell, Hostile
Youth 2... They did a number on Ashton Cain. We have a new US Champion,
congratulations to RaynMan for taking that strap.
Nikki - Jax Stone and High Flyer are the new IC Tag Team Champion after
defeating Era X in a great match. But with Jax Stone's injury, where does
that leave the IC Tag Titles?
GP - That is a good question Nikki... Dane Wilt is also the North American
Champion... He has TWO belts now in his SHORT career in the IWO. Ken War is
the new Pacific champion... He was robbed in his match but got the belt for
it... And of course the World Title is now in the hands of Phelen Kell,
giving The Second Coming of Hostile Youth COMPLETE control in the IWO.
JT - Only two titles didn't change hands tonight... The TV Title is still
High Flyer's, who now has two belts. And the Extreme Title is The Raging
One's and I know he and Larson are after the tag belts, atleast they were a
few weeks ago.
(The ship again makes a vicious turn.)
(A voice is heard, "ICEBERG!!!")
JT - Iceberg, aren't we in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean? OFF THE COAST
OF FLORIDA!!! ISNT IT TOO DAMN WARM FOR AN...
(Just then we see the USS Titan II off in the distance.)
GP - Oh no...
(A large banging sound is heard. The ship HAS hit something. Someone yells
out, "WE'RE GOING DOWN!!!")
Nikki - Uh... This isn't good...
(All the fans start screaming... They are running all over the ship. The
cameraman is running to the navigation area to see what the hell is going
on. OH MY GOD!!! TITAN IS DRIVING THE DAMN SHIP!!! LOOK WHO IS WITH HIM!!!
ZOMBIE!!! BILLY LARSON!!! THE RAGING ONE!!! SUMMER!!! MEYGON!!! CO-VP
JOHN!!! JENNY THE CAMERAWOMAN!!! AND MAD MAX!!!)
GP - I THINK IT IS TIME WE LEAVE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!!
LETS GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!
(Titan presses a button. Apparently it is for the speakers all over the
ship. Everyone can hear him.)
Titan - Well, I never said I was the best damn CAPTAIN!!! See... they've
been trying to tell you for weeks... "We're better than you!!!"... That's
us... the stable.. We're Better Than You... Upper Class, KISS MY ASS!!!
CULT.. WELL, YOU FUCKERS ARE ALL WET!!! HAHHAHA!!!
Zombie - NO stable has our star power. And Joey Rappoport, you cost me my
fucking belt, your ass is...
(The Upper Class come busting into the room. A brawl starts. Zombie has his
hands around the neck of Joey Rappoport. All this is going on while the ship
is taking on water and sinking. People are still going crazy. The Upper
Class and "We're Better Than You" are still brawling. Larson has Chris
Wyndorf... HE THROWS HIM OVER INTO THE OCEAN!!! Zombie and Titan shove
Rappoport in... Mad Max throws Dennis Scott over... Summer kicks Anderson in
the nuts!!! The Raging One pushes him in!!! "We're Better Than You" are
Titan - We better get out of here... There are only 5 lifeboats... Me and
Meygon in one... Zombie in one... Larson, Summer, and Jenny in one... Mad
Max in one... The Raging One and Co-VP John in one... I guess everyone else
will just... Well fuck everyone else... The USS TITAN II is ready... I have
naked whores and beer, what more could you ask for. Lets go party and plan
our take over of the IWO...
(They head over to the lifeboats.)
(We see Nikki, JT, and GP hanging on the side of the ship for dear life as
the ship continues to sink. President Jamie has made it to his helicopter
and he is taking off. A few people grab a hold of the helicopter as it takes
off. President Jamie drops something from the helicopter hitting them in the
head. They let go and fall back to the ship.)
(Flames are now coming from the ship!!! The scene is getting worse. Our
cameras focus in on Phelen Kell, Dane Wilt, and Harlequin. They are holding
on. Phelen has Harlequin who is hanging on to his hand.)
Phelen Kell - You have helped me so much here in the IWO. I won't let you
go!!! You know that!!!
Dane Wilt - Hey!!! Someone said that they have extra lifeboats stored over
Phelen Kell - See ya Harlequin...
(Kell lets go of Harlequin. He falls to the ocean.)
(Tony Davis is coming back up... He has made it to the deck of the ship. He
realizes the ship is sinking. He looks over and sees Dark Demon standing
there. He shakes his head and jumps back in the water.)
(OH MY GOD!!! LOOK!!! IT IS THE MYSTERIOUS SUBMARINE!!! ?¿? is saving
everyone!!! WHAT A HERO!!! SEE YOU AT GOLD AND GLORY IN JULY!!!)
(The scene fades with "We're Better Than You" partying aboard the USS TITAN
II... All of the celebrities are there... They are laughing as the USS
Neptune goes completely under...)
"I NEED CHEESEBURGERS"
- Kentucky Tarzan