What's Bobby's consolation prize for coming in third at Ring King?
“First is the worst!
Second is the shittiest!
Third is the one with the biggest breasts!”
“I don’t think that’s how the song goes…” BJ Dean says, but even her sour attitude cannot change the jubilation on Bobby Dean’s face. “Why are you so happy? You lost.”
Bobby and BJ Dean are in his locker room, after just completing the Chamber. BJ is looking a bit dejected at her father’s loss, but surprisingly enough Bobby looks like he won. Smiling, and shaking people’s hands as they made their way back.
“No, I got third place.” Bobby says with a triumphant smirk. “I got bronze baby!”
“What?” BJ says clearly confused. “No, that’s not how it works daddy. Eric Dane won. He pinned Sektor, so those two will go on to draft WrestleShow and Victory. You didn’t win anything…”
“Bah!” Bobby scoffs as he tries to wiggle out of his wrestling tights, causing BJ Dean to scowl before turning her back. “That’s not it at all! Eric Dane got first place. John Sektor got second. They’ll draft those two shows like you say, but I got third! I’m going to draft Proving Grounds!”
“What?” BJ asks, dumbfounded.
“And once people hear this, they’ll be begging to join me on PG!” Bobby says smugly as he pulls up some very loose fitting sweat pants before going so far as to pat himself on the back, or, well, on the top of his shoulder. He can’t reach his back… “Who would want to be on a roster with Eric Dane or John Sektor? Those guys are the two biggest sticks in the mud! But if you join me on Proving Grounds you’ll get candy, and 8 x 10s of me back when I tried nude modeling! And I’ll even autograph them!”
“You can’t be serious…” BJ states, shaking her head.
“Oh but I am!” Bobby says, and it’s true, he’s quite serious. “And when I beat Abdul bin Asspain, I’m going to bring the Wildfire title to Proving Grounds, and that’ll be our world title!”
BJ literally slaps her hand to her face, groaning out as Bobby continues to lay out his dream. “You can’t do this. None of it!”
“Why not?” Bobby asks, as if he knows something she doesn’t know. “As far as I can tell Wingate is gone. Who’s going to tell me I can’t?”
“No one will go for this!” BJ rails back, “I mean, who would you even draft first!?”
“Madman Szalinski!” Bobby says with a gleam in his eye. “I kinda figure none of the others are gonna pick him, and no one really wants him around, so I’ll get him easy peasy.”
“Who next? Yoshii? Robot Pete?” BJ asks clearly agitated. “You can’t be serious.”
“Nah,” Bobby replies. “I’m thinking Team Danger, those guys are amazeballs! And then maybe I’ll bring in that Cayle Murray and Colton Thorpe. I can defend my Wildfire title against those youngsters.”
“What makes you think you’re getting a shot at the Wildfire title in the first place?” BJ can’t help but ask.
“I got third place.” Bobby states as if that should clear everything up. “Third place finish for a third place title. Makes sense to me. Eric Dane will go one to compete for the World title, Sektor will keep his Legacy title, so that leaves moi! Ooooh, I know what I’ll do! I’ll start a twitter campaign! If enough fans demand it, it’ll have to happen, right?”
“You’re out of your mind!” BJ says as she storms off, just as Bobby Dean plops down, phone in hand.
"I NEED CHEESEBURGERS"
- Kentucky Tarzan