CONTENT

DREAM WRESTLING: INSOMNIA IV - 09/01/2009

Posted by Webmaster

Tuesday Night Insomnia IV

1 Sep 2009

Amarillo National Center, Amarillo, Texas (seats 10,000)

 

 

Hail To The Chief

Insomniacs around the country rejoice, because it's that time again! Pyro lights up the entrance way of the Amarillo National Center, and the fans in attendance jump out of their seats and begin cheering as the fourth edition of DWF Insomnia comes on the air. The crowd is primed and pumped like an unwed teenage mother on prom night tonight, and for more than good reason. A quick rundown of tonight's card is displayed at the bottom of the screen as the usual wide shot pans over the crowd, taking in some of the fans, before the camera finally centers on the ring. Even at ringside, the crowd is going nuts tonight, waving signs and t-shirts, and just generally being drunk idiots.

In the front row, a particularly rowdy fan begins tearing his clothes off, screaming something about "JESSICA!" at the camera as security quickly runs to escort him away from the arena. In the midst of all the insanity, however, the crowd is quickly thrown into a frenzy of hatred as the opening riffs to "Yes Please" by Muse begin to pump through the sound system. From the entrance way, a smug looking Michael Polowy emerges, attired pretentiously in a jet black suit and red tie. He's looking even more like a douchebag than usual tonight, including a bright white and blue name tag bearing the words "HELLO, MY NAME IS: Commissioner" on his lapel.

MPlow saunters down the ramp, smiling at his legion of paying protestors as if they were cheering him at the top of their lungs, rather than screaming for his head. With a little slide, he rolls onto the apron and under the ropes, dusting off his suit as he gets to his feet. He waits impatiently in the ring, crossing his arms and glaring at the timekeeper, who eventually gets the hint and brings him a microphone.

"About time," the always cocky Polowy begins. "You'd think the new commissioner of Insomnia could get a little goddamned respect around here."

Like an untuned note on a piano, that statement sends the crowd into an uncomfortable state. The boos intensify, along with the shit eating grin on the face of the newest member of the DWF staff.

"Look," he interrupts them, cockily. "I could play this little game where I make the sheep in the audience boo and cheer on my whim all night. I really could. But tonight, I have responsibilities. I have a job to do. I made so many amazing matches for tonight's card... I really outdid myself. Making Cancer Jiles tear apart his little chemo convention of pals over the Anarchy Title tonight? Purely brilliant. Tessa Martin and her transsexual sex slave cave woman facing two of the greatest wrestlers in the history of the world in a tag team match? A stroke of genius."

The arena is about ready to riot. In the ring, Polowy straightens his tie, running a hand over the rough stubble covering his face. He's cool as a goddamn cucumber, and it has the crowd in a frenzy.

"But that wasn't the best part." MPlow lowers his voice, his smile toning down into a half smirk. "No, no. Not by a long shot. See, the best part was booking the match you all wanted to see tonight. The best part was doing what all the nay sayers said I wouldn't dare do. They all claimed I'd never cash in Lora KirK's title shot as long as I got to make the matches. They claimed I'd never man up to the challenge. But I booked the match. I made it happen. And I made it happen inside of a steel goddamned cage."

He walks around the ring now as he talks, undoing the top button of his dress shirt and loosening the tie a little bit.

"And I didn't think much about my match with Lora Kirk this week, honestly." He mutters, a shrug of his shoulders making him somehow look like an even bigger prick. "I went through my usual training regiment since I've become a part of the Women's Division. Wednesday, I hit the gym like usual, and stared at myself in the mirror for fifteen or twenty minutes. I liked what I saw, so I went home and watched some television. Thursday? Well, I realized I hadn't done much at the gym, so I headed on back down. I walked around for awhile, making fun of all the people smaller than me, and then checked that mirror again. Still looked good, so I headed home satisfied. Friday? Well, Friday I visited my grandmother and had dinner. That isn't really part of the training, but she's a sweet old broad and she plays a killer game of Rummy."

There are some chuckles from the crowd, and even a very short but prominent "YOUR GRANDMA'S A WHORE! *clap clap clapclapclap*" chant. This ends quickly and awkwardly.

"MY GRANDMOTHER IS AN AMAZING WOMAN!" Polowy bellows, rage in his voice out of nowhere. "YOU SHUT THE F[bleep]K UP YOU F[bleep]ING TRAILER FODDER!"

He stops, clearing his throat and trying to regain his composure.

"Sorry." He continues, unabashed. "Now where was I? Ah yes, the weekend. Well, sorry, but the weekend is my time. No training on the weekends. But Monday? Well Monday I hit the grind and I started training. I trained, and I trained, and god damnit, I TRAINED. And wouldn't you know it, it paid off! After fourteen straight hours of training, my Squirtle hit level fifty seven, and I was finally ready to take on the Elite Four. But then this morning, Tuesday morning, it really hit me. I realized that I had the match of my life to prepare for. I had a challenge before me the likes of which I had never experienced before. I mean, I've had some crazy matches since I got into this business... but nothing compared to the match I knew I had waiting for me tonight. So I started slow. It was push-ups... sit-ups. One armed push-ups, pull-ups, and even some work on the heavy bag. And then, to top it all off? I even put on a jogging suit and followed my trainer around in the rain for awhile, while he rode my bicycle. But in the end, you bet your ass I defeated Mr. Sandman, and I beat f[bleep]king Punch Out on the Nintendo Wii!"

There is audible groaning from the crowd, who are tired of bad puns and stupid jokes. Polowy puts on his game face.

"But seriously." He says, hiding a smile. "Lora Kirk. Tonight, she gets her big... and I do mean BIG... shot at the Women's Championship. And honestly? I couldn't be more stoked about this match. Do you have any idea how many times I've seen a fat girl walking down the New Jersey boardwalk, and just prayed to God for an excuse to legally punch her in her lard tainted throat? And now I have that opportunity. I am completely within my legal right to kick her once in the vageen for every tube steak she's ever jammed down her gaping gullet and washed down with a gallon of McDonald's milkshake. And not only is it going to be okay to stuff that hog like a Thanksgiving turkey, but I get to do it inside a steel cage, free from the interference or McGillah, Tessa "The Deliver Her To The Emergency Room Girl" Martins, or any of the other ovarian drains on society we have employed here? Where's the cons on this list of pure f[bleep]ing awesomeness?"

MPlow shakes his head, trying as hard as he can not to laugh.

"Well I'll tell you what..." He begins again. "As long as I'm the commissioner around here? It's going to be entertaining. It's going to be exciting. And it's going to be as fair and balanced as you see it here tonight. To the ladies of the DWF? And that certainly includes Geezer, TeenyWilly, and Mr. Tool... times are a changing. And its about time the men of DREAM got to have a little fun. Goodnight folks, have a great night."

He drops the microphone, taking an exaggerated bow in the ring. Stepping through the ropes, Commissioner Mike Polowy steps down the ring stairs and heads to the back, while the crowd berates him the whole way. The show cuts to commercial before the first match is set to begin.
 


Jay Z, the best MC today. "Death of Autotune, Moment of Silence!"

T-Money vs. T.J. Parker

Capps: Welcome back to Insomnia, everyone. We are now ready for our first match of the night. These two men opening up Insomnia, is just...Awesome. Really is the only word.

Sin: I have to agree. T-Money and Parker are two great wrestlers, and are going to get it on right here, right now!

"Underground" by Eminem hits the PA system as the crowd immediately begins to boo. T-Money walks down the ramp and smiles at the crowds response. He slides in the ring and walks over to the turnbuckle as the crowd gets louder and louder.

Capps: This man is truly hated, Sin. I don`t believe he has a single fan here tonight.

Sin: If he does they have been put silent to all the boo`s.

"Close your eyes and imagine, feel the magic, Vegas on acid, seen through Yves St. Laurent glasses..."

The crowd erupts as the opening lines to Kanye West's "Diamonds From Sierra Leone" fills the arena and T.J. Parker comes out from the backstage area.

Doing his best to get the crowd into the moment, T.J. bounces from one side to other throwing his hands in the air, pointing to himself, and crossing his arms to pose center stage. His descent to the ring is a quick one as he sprints and slides underneath the bottom rope, popping to his feet on the other side, and leaping to the 2nd turnbuckle to pose once more for his fans.

Capps: DING DING!

Sin: Oh yeah...

T-Money catches Parker off guard with his back turned with a bulldog! Money immediately gets his ankle as he falls to the mat. T-Money twists his ankle over and over, as Parker reaches for the ropes as the bell rings. The referee is now down on the mat watching the action closely. Parker is about to tap, when the crowd begins cheering his name. "Parker! Parker!", fills the arena as he reaches as far as he can once more for the ropes. He latches on to the ropes, and the referee calls for Money to release the hold. Parker rolls to his back, twisting his ankle around trying to wiggle out the pain from it being twisted. T-Money lunges after him once more but is kicked in the head by Parker as he reaches down to pick him up. Money falls on the mat, as Parker jumps to his feet.

Capps: Ew, what a kick to the face!

Sin: Yeah I thought he may tap there for a second.

Capps: Match isn`t over yet, you know how T-Money loves his submission moves.

Parker gets to T-Money as he is stumbling to his feet, and grabs both of his arms for a underhook DDT! The moves drops Money to the mat, as Parker circles waiting for his opponent to make a move. Money uses the ropes to stand to his feet, and then runs at Parker who pushes off his back wrapping his arms around his neck into a Goto Sleep! T-Money falls to the mat, and Parker falls ontop of him for a pin!

1........2........KICKOUT!

Sin: Two and a half! This one was almost over, right there!

Capps: Ha, T-Money will never give up, don`t be crazy!

Parker stands back up and begins to stomp at T-Money as he rolls around the ring trying to get to his feet. Parker stands Money to his feet and is met with a reveresed jawbreaker! Parker and Money both fall to the mat as the referee begins to count. T-Money is slow to get to his feet, and when he is nearly to his feet, suddenly Parker stands up and tries to shake off the jawbreaker. Holding his jaw, as T-Money charges at him. Money going for a clothesline gets a snapmare takedown, is slung through the ropes and out of the ring. Parker falls to the mat, as he watches Money fall out. The referee runs over to the ropes counting T-Money.

Sin: That move took T-money out of the ring! Jesus christ!

Capps: Get in the ring, T-Money! Damnit!

Parker gets to his feet, but a now standing T-Money jumps on the apron and slams his head into the ropes slinging him backwards! Parker doesn`t fall, he falls into the ropes behind him. T-Money gets underneath the ring looking for a chair. He retrieves one, and the referee see`s him as he slides in with it. The referee runs over to T-Money and grabs the chair trying to retrieve it. While they are arguing, Parker pops up behind T-Money. He uses a knee smash, and before Money goes down he gets him into position for the Hemorrhage! BOOOM!! Parker goes for the PIN!!!

1..........2.........3!!!!

Capps: Your winner, T.J. Parker! Damnit....

Sin: Parker is still proving his worth and has done just that here tonight man. What a great match, and Parker will cherish this win, and T-Money won`t forget it, im sure! We`ll be right back after this short commercial break!
 

Unauthorized Broadcast

The television screen suddenly becomes fuzzy and then this tape plays:

Tessa Martin and Dawn McGill watch a brave Texan attempt to devour a 72" steak in one hour.

Tessa: Jak, Level-One. Aw, did I hurt your little feelings? Good. My father once told me if it looks like a duck, smells like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck...guess what? It's a duck. So, when I say that you look like a sidekick, act like a sidekick, and smell like a sidekick- guess what? It's a sidekick. I mean, it's not that hard to talk tough when you dealing with little ol' me now isn't it? But...

Tessa motions to someone to come over. A tall, husky cowboy type walks into the picture.

Tessa: Somehow, I don't think you'd be that brave to this hunky cowboy. Jak, you're a poser. A wannabe. A sidekick. A lackey. And tonight, well, you're going to find that I'm more than capable of handling myself in a ring. Level-One? Again, you're the one I'm most disappointed in. Here you are...ranked #1 in the world...and you've lowered yourself to being Mike Polowy's lackey. You've reduced yourself to being a henchmen? I mean, really, shouldn't someone with your pedigree be looking for their next big opponent for your DWF title instead of messing around in the women's division to feed Mike Polowy's vanity? Come on, L-1. You are so much better than that. But again, if you'd rather spend your time beating up on women, well, as I said before, I think you'll find that Dawn and I can take care of ourselves just fine. In fact, we even brought a film in to the Big Texan to show everyone what we mean...hit it guys.

(Clips from the WWR Supershow Match between Mike Polowy and Dawn McGill)
[[Suave: "THERE’S THE BELL! McGILL COMES RIGHT OUT AFTER POLOWY!" McGill swings the Singapore cane…*THWACK* Suave: "HOLY CRAP! THAT SENT POLOWY STAGGERING ACROSS THE RING…*THWACK* ANOTHER ONE! McGILL’S TRYING TO FILET POLOWY’S BACK!" Polowy immediately drops down and rolls out of the ring. The crowd lets him have it. Crowd: "DAWN’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) DAWN’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) Polowy pounds the ring apron and then notices Valora is a little too close for comfort. He relocates himself back to his corner and once again discusses strategy with Level-One and Nemesis.]]

[[Suave: "McGill on the canvas. She’s back to her feet and…SHE TACKLES POLOWY!" McGill pummels his head. Suave: "THE CROWD AGAIN GOING NUTS! NOW McGILL HAS AN CHOKEHOLD ON POLOWY!" McGill goes with the Rear Triangle Choke. Polowy powers up and McGill releases the hold. Polowy clutches his neck. He takes a wild left hand swing and missies badly. McGill throws a left and connects sending Polowy reeling into her corner. Suave: "Bad place to be. THERE’S KIRSTA LEWIS! WHOA!" Lewis cold-cocks Polowy and sends him right back to McGill. Dawn nails him with another left and sends him back to Lewis. Suave: "Polowy looks like a duck caught in a firing range." Lewis grabs a barbed wire covered baseball bat and swings at Polowy. He ducks…McGill has to duck…even Miss USA and Valora must duck. McGill takes the opening and swings her foot hard, connecting with Polowy’s private area. *CLANK* Polowy grins and pulls down the front of his trunks enough to show a metal codpiece is protecting his crown jewels. McGill motions to Valora who reaches down and throws her a taser. Suave: "Oh…no…no, no… *ZZZZAP* HOLY CRAP!" Mike starts hopping up and down, desperately trying to remove the codpiece…he finally does.]]

[[Tessa jumps in the ring and clocks Polowy with the oversized pizza box of doom sending him flat on his back]]

The film ends and both Tessa and Dawn are sitting on the laps of a couple cowboys.

The Patrons of the Big Texan: DAWN'S GOING TO KILL YOU (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap), DAWN'S GOING TO KILL YOU (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)

Tessa: So Jak, L-1, Mike. You want it. You've got it. We'll see ya tonight. Oh...and be forewarned, like all these Texans here, we're coming locked and loaded."

The Patrons of the Big Texan: DAWN'S GOING TO KILL YOU (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap), DAWN'S GOING TO KILL YOU (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)

Tessa: And now we return you to regularly scheduled programming...

Doozer's Unpleasant Arrival

A loud roar from the fans shakes the building as Doozer can be seen entering the arena on the jumbo-tron. The ring side announce starts to explain how tonight’s main event features the spotlighted man.

"He sure does know how to bring the house down. Mr. Cool will certainly have his hands full tonight!"

Still dressed in street clothes and his manger The Dude no where in sight, he walks alone with a smile on his face.

"This is the night… I do what no other human being on the face of the Earth has done… I cure Cancer."

Then, right when he reaches the door, and is about to enter the building…

"Oh MY GOD!! It’s… I don’t know who that is!"

From behind, Doozer is slammed face first into the door. The force sends him crashing to the ground. The a slew of right hands and kicks follow, as Doozer lays there, unable to defend himself.

"Who the hell is that? Looks like he is wearing some sort of mask! Is that Jiles, trying to get an upper hand!? Maybe T-Money has decided to take this feud to the next level! Maybe it’s… OH MY GO! NO!"

Doozer extending his arms, trying fend off the MASKED ATTACKER as he continues the barrage of fists. Finally he stops as Doozer lay there, his face covered in blood, his shirt torn off, his exposed chest all ready black and blue from the numerous foot stomps. The MASKED ATTACKER leaves the camera view for a few seconds, when he returns he slams a chair into the side of Doozer’s head, causing blood to fly from his head, staining the wall. One more whack for good measure, as Doozer just lays there, unconscious.

"GET SOMEBODY OUT THERE! This is vicious! This is unwarranted! We need to get The Dooze some help… NOW!"

The masked man drops the chair and then enters the building, right before EMT’s come to Doozer’s aide. They strap him to the gurney, and take off into the night’

"Not sure what this means for tonight’s main event… stay tuned for more updates."

The camera’s go to a shot of the stands… the crowd… SILENT, with a look of despair on there faces. The saying you could hear a pin drop doesn’t do this arena justice. Then, a end to the AWKWARD silence… Children crying out… Grown men… weeping. The Dooze… has been taken out.

Mike Polowy vs. Lora KirK



Sin: That Doozer, is something else. He really has goals in Dream Wrestling and I don`t see why he can`t achieve them.

Capps: Yeah Yeah...Well my favorite wrestler is about to come to the ring!

The lights in the arena fade as the steel cage is dropped slowly down over the ring. A referee makes sure it lands where it is suppose to and that it is air tight against the ground around the ring. He is holding a chain and a lock and wraps the chain halfway around the door. Leaving the chain to where it isn`t around the door and can still be opened at this point.

Lora Kirk makes her way down the ramp to the tune of "Closer to Home" Matthew Harwood. She smiles as she walks up the steps of the steel cage, and climbs in. She looks around the arena as they cheer her on.

Sin: This division has taken off because of all the controversy behind this belt. She has earned her right to be here, and paid all the right due`s to get here. Polowy will no doubt use his strength to over power her, but she has some amazing moves and may upset Polowy here tonight!

Capps: I very much much doubt that, Sin. Here he comes! YES!

The fans in the arena pipe up as the lights begin to dim and the opening rock riff to Muse's "Yes Please" pours through the sound system. There is an abrupt chorus of jeers and boos as Hostility's patron saint, 'The Mike Effect' Mike Polowy, steps out from behind the curtain and onto the ramp. MPlow flexes a bicep, slapping the DWF Women's Championship over his arm and giving it a little kiss. He then turns to his other shoulder, looking lovingly at the DWF Tag Title as well. Smirking, he takes a cocky, casual stride down to the ring, as he walks up the steps and the referee takes his belts and locks the door behind the two.

Sin: You have to look at these two, for one they are the same height at 5`11. Polowly outweighs her by 50 pounds so that is to his advantage. There is no height advantage, and I think she has to be the one woman in Dream to do this, if it can be done.

Capps: It cannot be done. It Cannot Done...

The referee walks around the cage making sure it is stable. The door is locked as he calls for the bell. The two wrestlers have a brief staredown before Polowy attacks first. With a takedown with a shoulder block, Kirk hits the mat. He hits the ropes and follows up with a dropping elbow. Keeping her on the mat, he gets her in a headlock, as she reaches for the ropes.

Capps: That won`t help her here...

Sin: That`s for sure...

Kirk begins to elbow Polowy in the side trying to get him to release the move. Finally he releases and holds his ribs in pain as she rolls to her feet. She hits the ropes and does a sliding drop kick to his ribs. It shoves him into the ropes and steel cage. Kirk follows up with a knee smash, and then another. The crowd is beginning to lighten up in her favor. Polowy catches her leg as she goes for another knee smash and twist it, causing her to fall. He stands up using her leg and the ropes. He twists her leg kicking her in the gut while doing so.

Sin: Damn!

Capps: This match could be the best of the night!

Sin: I don`t know the World champion is in the building!
Polowy is still twisting Kirk`s leg and kicking at her. She is reaching for the ropes in hopes they may help her somehow. Polowy smiles and allows her to grab them and continues his assault, finally releasing her. He turns to the crowd to taunt them. The crowd is cheering, and this confuses him. He looks toward the screen and finally see`s what is causing the commotion.

Tommy Crimson is sitting up in his hospital bed, watching this match. The crowd is screaming, "CRIMSON! CRIMSON!". He turns to a ddt from Kirk and she heads for the side of the cage, and begins to climb. Crimson on the sceen is smiling cheering her on in his bed. The crowd has completely turned in favor of Lora. She gets halfway up as Polowy slings her to the mat, putting his foot on her throat. He turns to the screen and flips Crimson off.

Capps: Crimson that asshole!

Sin: You watch your mouth, he is our boss...

Capps: No he isn`t. Not tonight he is not, my boss is in that steel cage.

Polowy turns away from the screen and begins his assault again on Kirk. He tosses her into the cage, using it as a weapon. Polowy takes her face and rubs it in the cage, and turns her around, THE MIKE EFFECT!

Sin: Damn it is over, he will retain...

Capps: Hahaha, I bet so much on him!

Polowy stands to his feet brushing his hands together. He smiles at the screen as he makes his way over to the door, and the ref begins to unlock it. Suddenly he feels something at his leg, he looks down and it is KIRK!

Capps: JESUS SHE IS STILL ALIVE!

Sin: She is awesome...

Polowy cannot believe this, and on the screen Crimson is now sitting on the side of the bed watching. Polowy slams the door shut, and the referee closes it. He picks Kirk up to her feet, and she knee`s him in the crotch, bringing him to his knee`s. She moves in behind him and gets him in a rear naked choke. Holding the hold tight on Polowy, every move he makes brings her clutch on tighter. Finally Polowy turns her around and slings her over his shoulder. He jumps to his feet and begins to stomp her, and gets down on the met. He knee`s her in the side, causing her to yell out. Polowy stands her up once again and slings her into the turnbuckle laughing as he does so. He follows behind her for a big splash.

She moves out of the way, and slams his head into the steel cage. He is out on his feet....LORA`S EMBRACE! BOOM! Lora looks down at Polowy as his eyes are crossing. She begins to climb the cage, and is slow at first but the crowd pushes her on. She climbs and climbs, finally her feet is on the top ropes as she jumps a bit to reach the top of the cage and use it to pull herself up onto the cage. Polowy comes to, and to his horror see`s she is almost out of the cage. He crawls up the cage and reaches the top as they both straddle the top of the cage. They begin swapping blows on the side of the cage. Polowy with a swift blow hits Lora as she begins to fall she pushes Polowy, and they both tumble out of the cage! Lora`s left foot hits the floor first!!!

Sin: KIRK WINS! HER FOOT HIT FIRST! SHE`S THE NEW WOMEN`S CHAMPION!!!

Capps: Shit...

Lora Kirk is wrapped in the Dream Women`s Championship as medics tend to them both. Polowy has still not gotten to his feet as they tend to him. Crimson is still on the screen, and begins to speak...

Crimson: Lora you have done something here tonight to be very proud of. Polowy is destroying the name of our show, and everything most of us have worked hard to preserve. I will be released from the hospital next week, and I have a huge surprise for you Polowy, and the rest of your little gang. Lora, congratulations you have worked hard. You have shown all little girls that anything is possible, and you are now champion.

The screen fades to the Insomnia logo, as the transmission is over...

Capps: He`s still an asshole...

Sin: We have a new women`s champion! We still have a title match on the line later tonight, and a huge tag team match coming up! Don`t go anywhere, we`ll be right back!
 


Can`t Sleep? Catch Insomnia on Tuesday Nights!!

Lock and Load

Tessa Martin warms up in the basement while Dawn goes through the bag of plunder she plans to bring to the ring.

Tessa: You know, I was thinking. What if this whole 'Lisa' thing is another one of Mike Polowy's little games?

Dawn sticks a bag of white baby powder in her jeans pocket.

Dawn: I've thought about that too. That's why I called an old friend to check things out for us.

Tessa: Oh? Who?

Dawn: Nick Shavings. He used to be a detective where I lived in Ohio. He works in Chicago now but he's got connections all over the place. I figure if anyone can get to the bottom of this, Nick can.

Tessa: Okay.

Dawn puts a cheese grater in the bag of plunder.

Tessa: Not the cheese grater.

Dawn: Yes, the cheese grater. I got something else too.

She holds up a nail gun.

Tessa: You borrowed Kirsta Lewis's nail gun?

Dawn: Tess, it's a war they want...it's a war they're going to get. Okay, here's the plan. We both come in through the crowd. I'll take L-1. You take Nemesis. At some point, Mike will come in I'm sure and we'll let the chips fall from there.

Tessa checks her jeans and adjusts her shirt.

Tessa: Shall we?

Dawn: We shall.

All Locked up

Backstage, it’s clear Level-One is more then focussed on approaching what the night had in store for him fist first…

BAM BAM BAM

Displaying his pent up rage and frustration, Level-One plants a series of punches into a set of lockers located in his locker room. The more punches he throws the louder the clash on the locker room door; the harder he throws, the quicker he throws them. Unannounced to the cameras, Jak Nemesis sits on the locker room bench with his half of the tag team championship, hanging on his shoulders. Now frustrated with Level-One’s work out regiment, he makes his presence known to the viewers at home.

‘’Shit. Level, do you mind?’’ Jak Nemesis shouts out, as Level-One merely tilts his head back an inch, still focussed on lining up the locker room door with his punches. Trying to keep his focus on task at hand, he merely grumbles.

‘’What the hell is it, Jak?’’ Level-One asks. ‘’I’m preparing for our match, it’s coming any time now’’ Level-One says, realising a vicious one-two-punch combo on the defenceless door.

‘’You know, I don’t get it’’ Jak Nemesis says casually, folding his arms in-front of his legs. ‘’You were calm and collected when you had to defend your world title; and now you put a few dumb bitches in our way, and your preparing for this match as if everything was on the line’’

Level-One smirks; adding a few vicious knees into the mix. Now starting to sound gassed, he offers up his response.

‘’Maybe I’m finally starting to realize this place isn’t as bad as I thought it was’’ Level-One says, in his head the world heavyweight championship stares back at him, but he closes his eyes and keeps punching. ‘’I just hope you are as prepared as I am’’

Jak Nemesis stands up, and nods his head, while Level-One continues to wail on the locker room door. ‘’I told you once and I’ll tell you again; tonight is my night’’

Level-One unleashes a hard right hand into the locker room door; his pace slows down. Shot after shot, each one comes slower to the last, until he clenches his fist and lowers his head towards the ground.

‘’Tonight is OUR night’’ Level-One tells Jak. Turning to him, the two men meet face to face. ‘’And when your out there, beating these two fucking bitches lifeless? Just try not to forget it’’

Level-one taps Jak Nemesis on the side of his shoulder, before quickly walking past him and through the locker room door. Jak Nemesis watches him leave, before his signals are raised by a noise coming from the locker room door. The row of lockers have been virtually destroyed, the thin mental doors have been nearly smashed off their welded hinges. The noise peeks Jak’s interest as he walks over to the locker room door and tugs it open...

‘’What the hell are you doing in there?’’ Jak Nemesis asks a short, feeble, stagehand whom is both blooded and beaten, his mouth taped up.

‘’UM, UM, OOOM OOOM’’ The stage hand grumbles.

Jak Nemesis shrugs his shoulders and slams the locker door shut, as the top half caves in. He admires his work for a hot second, but eventually simply turns his back on it...

‘’More important matters to worry about, tonight’’

Level One & Jak Nemesis vs. Tessa Martins/Dawn McGill

Capps: Alright, its time for some tag team action. Alot of mixed matches here tonight on Insomnia.

Sin: Yeah not bad for our fourth show. We have already witnessed one title change hands and could see another later tonight!

''Put you on game'' By Lupe Fiasco ruthlessly attacks the stereo system with little regard; shaking the ear drums of the crowd of thousands. Red smoke seeps through the upper ramp; and ripping through the curtains Level-One finds himself on top of the ramp; Nemesis is with him holding one of the tag titles on his arm. They make they`re way to the ring. Level One has the Dream World title on his shoulder as the climb in the ring and hold the belts high. Dawn and Tessa suddenly burst through the crowd holding they`re respected weapons. The immediately begin to attack L1 and Nemesis. The referee tries to regain order and orders McGill and Level One to they`re corners. Martin and Nemesis remain in the ring. The two grapple, Nemesis, easily getting the advantage as the match begins. He slings her into the corner of his team. L1 holds her in the turnbuckle while Nemesis begins to chop her across the chest. He smiles to the crowd and then proceeds to chop her a couple more times before the referee makes the release her. She falls to the mat and reaches toward McGill but just cannot reach.

Capps: They are going to use they`re size as the advantage here, Capps.

Sin: Yeah don`t you hate Polowy for making these matches. These young women have more heart than just about anyone in Dream.

Nemesis drags her to the middle of the ring, and gets her in a boston crab. He has his tounge stuck out, taunting the crowd as he applies more pressure. Martin is about to tap, as McGill hits Nemesis from the top rope with a missle drop kick! The two tag team while the referee is trying to regain control of the match. Dawn holds Nemesis while Martin hits the MIKE EFFECT!

Capps: HAHA WHAT!

Sin: What a message!

She goes for the pin, and before the referee can even count to one, L1 breaks the pin up. Level One picks her up, and side walk slams Martin while the referee is trying to still get Dawn out of the ring. L1 walks back to his corner and slides through the ropes as Nemesis now pins!

1....2...KICKOUT!

Martin is now wobbily as she gets to her feet and falls toward her corner. Nemesis cannot catch her in time as she slaps hands with Dawn, and she meets Nemesis with another drop kick from the top rope!

Capps: With those heels, you know that hurt, Sin..

Sin: I would say so, damn...

Dawn now it, clotheslines L1, and he falls on the apron, but not out of the ring. She thinks he has fallen out, when she hits against the ropes. L1 pushes her into Nemesis and is met with a DDT! He stands up taunting Martin in her corner. With the referee turned away she nails Nemesis in the crotch and he falls to his knee`s. She superkicks him, and drags him to his corner and slaps hands with L1. This confuses Level One, not understanding why she would actually want to fight the World Champion.

Sin: I have never seen anything this?

Capps: Crazy whore...

Dawn backs away as L1 steps into the ring. He smiles and charges after her, she meets him. She is met with a spinebuster! Martin runs in behind him, he turns, and she misses hitting the ropes. He catches her on the way back, SPINEBUSTER! Martin rolls out of the ring as McGill is getting to her feet, she is met with a german suplex. He lifts her one more time, still not releasing his hold. Finally after his third one, he releases her and she nearly bounces out of the ring. Nemesis and Martin are going at it on the outside of the ring, now L1 and McGill are in the ring all alone. L1 lifts her up and brings her down hard in a backbreaker! She falls to her knee`s and he swiftly kicks her in the ribs bringing her down the rest of the way. He gets down for a pin and she rolls him! He reverses it in another roll up with a foot on the ropes...

1........2...........3!!!! NEMESIS AND Level One Win!

Capps: Damn what a match!

Martin outside the rings, slides the cane to Dawn as she retrieves it still shaken up. Standing to her feet she swings it at a now taunting Level One, leveling him. Outside the ring, Martin swings her pizza box at Nemesis and drops it as it opens. It reveals a stop sign inside of it, she DDT`s his head onto it.

Sin: L1 Cheated! Damnit they were both cheated, Polowy wins this one over Crimson for sure. Atleast these girls got some REVENGE! HELL YEAH! He has already suffered a loss for tonight. Don`t go anywhere else folks, we have a huge Main Event coming up! Gotta Pay Some Bills!

 


Robot Chicken, only on Adult Swim!

Cancer Jiles vs. Doozer



Sin: Ladies and Gentlemen we are sorry to inform you all but tonights Main Event has had a last minute change. Doozer has been injured and cannot compete, but in his place will be The Dude! He will face Jiles for the Anarchy championship. Since Travis is a no show they couldn`t just give the belt away, and the show must go on.

Capps: I think this is horrible, but lets get this Main Event UNDERWAY!
The Dude walks to the top of the stage and the crowd begins to cheer as he walks to the ring, and climbs in. He walks to the ring with a micophone in hand, waiting for CCJ.

Sin: What`s this?

Capps: I dunno, shut up man...

"Coming to the ring, from Philadelphia Pennsylvania, Mr. Cool.... Cancer Jiles!" A chorus of boos rains down the from the DWF faith full as CCJ struts to the ring. He taunts the fans, who have developed a fine love to hate you relationship with the superstar. Upon arrival, Cool Cancer Jiles slides under the bottom rope ascending the turnbuckles. He reciprocates the fans appreciation of him, flipping them off a couple of times before finding in his final resting place; a seat on top of the third turnbuckle. He stays perched there, awaiting the bell.

The Dude in the opposite corner begins to speak before the bell is rung...

The Dude: CCJ, you know you are my idol. I have nothing by the upmost respect for you, and for that I have something to ask of you. I want you to lay me out, and take the title you so deserve!

Sin: What!?

The bell rings, as CCJ walks over to The Dude and hits him with Terminal Cancer! He goes for a pin!!

1........2.......3.........CCJ IS THE NEW ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP!

Capps: What the Fu....

A star is born

"Well, it seems like Mr. Cool has had The Anarchy Title dropped into his lap. Doozer is in the hospital, and The Dude walked out here, and just got laid out… ON PURPOSE!"

Cancer standing in the ring, celebrating the win, holding the title way high in the air, as the fans here have really started to let him have it. Some debris starts to fly into the ring, causing The Dude to head back to the locker room. Like flying trash is going to stop Mr. Cool from celebrating.

"Well that’s it for our show tonig… wait a minute!"

"Is that the masked man who attacked Doozer?! He is making his way down to the ring, right now!"

"Cancer, turn around! Quick!"

CJ with his back turned to the masked man, continues to celebrate on the top of the turnbuckles, he looks out to the crowd, taunting them as he showcases the belt high in the air, pointing at it he begins to shout out…

"I AM THE CHAMPION! ME, MR. COOL!"

CCJ continues yelling out to the fans, informing them how Cool and worthy he is. Finally, CCJ jumps down from the turnbuckle as his music stops playing. I guess playtime is over. Think again…

"OH MY GOD!’

"That is not T-Money!"

"That’s…"

The masked man, unmasks… it’s Travis Williams! He was the one who attacked Doozer, he took him out of the picture. He must have wanted revenge for Doozer’s attack on him last week. No one pulls a fast one Travis Williams.

"Guess who?"

Travis says to Jiles, who stands, bug eyed staring at Williams as if he was a ghost... It would seem as if Travis was the one behind the madness of tonight's proceedings. The crowd, all in shock as they thought T-Money, or Mr. Cool were possibly the culprit behind the Doozer attack.

"THIS IS MINE! FUCK YOU TRAVIS! YOU CLOWN!"

Cancer shouts at Travis, not allowing him to get another word in he goes to walk away, turning his back on Williams…

"WOW! Travis Williams, who was excused from action this week due to a family emergency has just laid out the new Anarchy Champion! He had us all fooled!"

"Mr. Cool is down and out, probably not the way he pictured this night ending I would think."

Travis grabs Jiles by the arm, spinning him quickly around; catching the newly crowned Anarchy Champion off guard. Then lands a boot to the gut, followed up by the Shadow Cast, Williams patent finisher…

The First Stone Being Thrown

Travis reaches down and grabs the Anarchy Championship that Jiles dropped. Travis calls for a microphone, as he throws the belt over his shoulder.

"Cancer, you want to be something known as MISTER COOL! When in fact, you are nothing more than a snore in flashy clothing. You want to be a paper champion? You want to turn your back on the only man who was giving you a chance? Fine, you were nothing more than pathetic stain of cum!"

Travis throws the championship down beside Cancer, and shoots snot from his nose onto the chest of Cancer.

"I’m done dealing with pathetic excuses of wrestlers who could not cut it ten years ago, and still cannot today. My goal is plain, and my aim is locked on the target. So, Level-One…You have something I want. Something that will soon be mine. I want a shot at the championship come Bashed at the Beach. One on One, leave your diaper checkers in the locker room, and face me like a man. To make it interesting, I will even give you the chance to name a special stipulation for the dethroning of yourself!"

Travis throws down the microphone, as "Courtesy Call" by Sixx AM starts to play around the arena. Travis walks out the ring, as he takes one more look back at his carnage he has created in the ring as the show goes off the air...


TAGS: