AP MOBILE REPORTS: MIKEY UNLIKELY PRESS CONFERENCE, LATEST SIGNING

Posted by WrestleUTA on 15 Mar 2017

Earlier today in Orlando, Florida, Wrestle UTA owner Mikey Unlikely held a press conference while wearing his finest three piece suit. He stood proud, an air of confidence as he spoke with a deep and vibrant vibrato. Onlookers were quoted as saying "(he) never looked more like the owner of UTA than now." Mikey started off his speech to investors and reporters by disclousing the success of UTA's pay per view, No Love Lost, where Kendrix was able to retain his championship against Crimson Lord. He praised the locker room for their efforts and optomistically looked to the future of the UTA brand...

Shortly after this, with the giddiness of a child on Christmas, Mikey Unlikely revealed the newest signing to UTA, Jack Harmen. Harmen stepped out wearing a three piece suit with a bow tie, and heartedly shook Mikey's hand as the flashbulbs went off.  While the rumors had been circuling around the wrestling dirt sheets for the past week or so. negotiations had been tight lipped and on going for months, per sources in the admistration of UTA.

Harmen stepped up to the podium and adjusted his bowtie. With a deep cough and the slyest of Cheshire Cat-like smiles, Harmen proceeded to say how "he's proud to be part of the UTA," and "intends to have some fun in the twilight of his career." 

A twenty-four year veteran to the sport, Jack Harmen has wrestled all around the globe, but is best known for his stints in the IGN affiliated IWO and the Disney affiliated fWo, both available on UTA's Wrestling Classics Network streaming service. Known at times as the Time Traveling Snowman, or the Friendly Neighborhood Lunatic, the man best known as High Flyer is a journeyman who's left his mark across any promotion he's entered. With eight World Heavyweight Championships (and depending who you speak to, up to twelve additional Heavyweight reigns), Jack Harmen was most recently the Legacy of Champions Legacy champion, and still holds the belt to this day.

Harmen was inducted into the Wrestle UTA Hall of Fame during the Class of 2015, never having stepped into a UTA ring, but inducted due to his legacy across the sport.  He was meant to give a speech during his induction, but plans were derailed shortly before All or Nothing 2016 was cancelled. In fact, Harmen was meant to be a surprise entrant in the All or Nothing match itself, in a way to synergize with the Hall of Fame proceedings. 

Jack Harmen clarified that his contract with LoC wrestling would still be valid, but without a House Show tour, Harmen was free to pursue other opportunities. "I look forward to competing with the talented athletes, superstars, and wrestlers of the United Toughness Alliance." Harmen said to investors, before blinking and turning to Mikey. "Did the previous guy just string random words together?" 

No word on when Harmen will debut, but stay tuned to WrestleUTA on Hulu. 

 

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The United Toughness Alliance is a fictional wrestling promotion. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imaginations or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Character images are copyright © Ben Halkum and may not be used without permission.